MANIC STREET PREACHERS  12:53 pm August 9, 2012

Street Preachers Threatening To Rape Lesbians At Michigan Pride Event May Be Doing It Wrong

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Good news, white people! We have found some actual black racists at a Michigan Gay Day event, so because of this, you are correct that whites are never bigots! LOGIC! Yay you! And in heartening news for the National Organization for Marriage, they are super gay-hatey too! And to echo the immortal plea of Abigail Adams, don’t forget to hate on the ladies!

“And if your ass get to going out there like you said, guess what?” a supercrazy black supremacist Bible man says to a Gay Day participant. “You get raped. And that’s what’s going to happen to you. … Keep your pussy clean, that’s all you need to do. Do you understand?” Yes? We understand? But oh, there is ever so much more!

After one man claims, “the Lord said that,” the woman challenges him to find the corresponding Bible verse.

He responds with Isaiah 13: “Their children also shall be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses shall be spoiled, and their wives ravished.”

“What does ‘ravished’ mean? It means, we going to rape your ass,” the protester explains. “And I’m going to have fun doing that shit. And you going to like that. I promise you.”

After briefly arguing that he is misinterpreting the Bible, the woman observes, “Anything I say, you say it doesn’t matter.”

“It’s going to matter right now,” the man shoots back. “It’s going to matter when your clothes off and I’m going inside of you repeatedly. That’s when it’s going to matter. Because you going to enjoy yourself.”

RawStory informs us the Bible men were from a bizarre black supremacy Christian cult called the Black Hebrew Israelites, and unlike the New Black Panther Party, the Southern Poverty Law Center explains that there are actually a number of people who belong to it!

But what about the lady they were so eager to rape straight?

The woman in the video told WWMT that the men also recited her boyfriend’s license plate number and promised to find and kill him. She said she called 911, but the Grand Rapids Police Department officer told her that there was nothing he could do.

You know why there was nothing the police could do? Because if it is not illegal to rape and kidnap people in US America, then it certainly isn’t illegal to make terrorist threats about it! Somebody should do something about that!

[RawStory]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 260 comments }

ChernobylSoup August 9, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Tread carefully, kids.

Crank_Tango August 9, 2012 at 1:04 pm

So some crazy black christian dudes want to rape some lesbian ladies, and now it will be joked about on a site that knows no limits…

What could possibly go wrong?

LastGasp August 9, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Where is Pussy Riot when we need them?!

IonaTrailer August 9, 2012 at 1:12 pm

FREE PUSSY RIOT!

Or FREE PUSSY! riot!

TribecaMike August 9, 2012 at 1:19 pm

On a train to the gulag?

sbj1964 August 9, 2012 at 12:57 pm

The Bible is full of Rape,Murder,Arson,and Rape.

SexySmurf August 9, 2012 at 12:58 pm

You said rape twice.

sbj1964 August 9, 2012 at 12:58 pm

I like rape.

Crank_Tango August 9, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Easy tosh.

Tequila Mockingbird August 9, 2012 at 1:01 pm

You forgot torture p0rn!

sbj1964 August 9, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Rape is not funny in fact after the chloroform wears off ,and they fined they're way to a major road the relationship is over.They never call?

SorosBot August 9, 2012 at 1:09 pm

And genocide – which, according to the Bible, is a good thing.

IonaTrailer August 9, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Smiting. Lots of smiting.

Lascauxcaveman August 9, 2012 at 2:02 pm

That's all OLD Testament stuff. Ever since the Prince of Peace made the scene, it's been all this gay, lovey-dovey, hippie shit, right?

sewollef August 9, 2012 at 1:25 pm

They attacked Midian just as the LORD had commanded Moses, but Moses was furious with all the military commanders who had returned from the battle. "Why have you let all the women live?" he demanded. "They are the ones who caused the plague to strike the LORD's people. Now kill all the boys and all the women who have slept with a man. Only the young girls who are virgins may live; you may keep them for yourselves." Numbers 31:7-18 NLT

OK then….

Typodong3 August 9, 2012 at 3:10 pm

So the bible is saying that is God's will that we kidnap and keep for ourselves any virgin daughters of the Black Hebrew Israelites? Cool. I assume they wont mind…

doloras August 9, 2012 at 3:50 pm

The problem is that the virgin daughters of Black Hebrew Israelites are all eight-year-olds who can run faster than their brothers.

succalina August 9, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Don't forget the incest! And the fact that Adam and Eve created everyone! Good times.

mlle_derp August 9, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Hope her boyfriend (but wait- doesn't that mean she's not gay?) gets new license tags…

emmelemm August 9, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Yes, that was the most confusing part of the article. Is she a lesbian, or does she have a boyfriend?

I guess it could be both. I GUESS?

actor212 August 9, 2012 at 1:50 pm

I'm conflicted about this story. I've converted a few lesbians and driven a few straight women into the arms of women.

*shrug*

Chicks. Go fig.

Mumbly_Joe August 9, 2012 at 1:57 pm

I definitely never "converted" anyone, but I have met a few ladies who made a specific "Mumbly_Joe exception".

As I mentioned, I have a type. A somewhat inconvenient type, but go figure.

actor212 August 9, 2012 at 2:01 pm

It's all so confusing. Maybe I should go gay. I bet that's a lot easier to sort out.

HistoriCat August 9, 2012 at 2:11 pm

I understand that bisexuality doubles your chances of getting a date.

Typodong3 August 9, 2012 at 3:10 pm

HEY yeah I JUST realized that. Wait a min….

Designer_Rants August 9, 2012 at 12:58 pm

I think "Keep your pussy clean" is just plain ol' all-around good advice. The rest of it is suspect, tho.

PsycWench August 9, 2012 at 1:08 pm

I can't figure out how keeping it clean will keep you from getting raped. Maybe if you left the Windex bottle in there…

Designer_Rants August 9, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Someone should just tell the Black Hebrew Israelites that Non-Black Hebrew Israelite women have teeth in their vaginas. That should make them re-think their whole tactic.

BaldarTFlagass August 9, 2012 at 1:23 pm

I wish someone had told me; I had to figure it out myself.

Typodong3 August 9, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Thats what the steel-reinforced mesh condoms are for, silly.

Angry_Marmot August 9, 2012 at 1:13 pm

"I learned the truth at seventeen,
A girl should keep her privates clean…"

(credit National Lampoon)

BoatOfVelociraptors August 9, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Two words, vagina dentata.

Designer_Rants August 9, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Can you recommend a good vagina dentist?

ChernobylSoup August 9, 2012 at 12:58 pm

God really needs to decide whether the hussies should be raped or turned to salt. Which is it? Geesh.

Angry_Marmot August 9, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Actually, the woman who didn't follow his directions got turned to salt, and Lot took the hussies with him.

ChernobylSoup August 9, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Oh.

Where'd he take them?

Fukui-sanYesOta August 9, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Chuck E. Cheese.

Because god is classy.

Angry_Marmot August 9, 2012 at 2:05 pm

The hussies being his own daughters, that's as good an answer as any.

zippy_w_pinhead August 9, 2012 at 2:35 pm

should have been Chick-Fil-A

God is a slacker…

IonaTrailer August 9, 2012 at 1:29 pm

What's this about taking up sheep?

tessiee August 9, 2012 at 3:21 pm

"Well, he wasn't referring to sheep, specifically; it's a metaphor for all barnyard animals." /Life of Brian

viennawoods13 August 9, 2012 at 2:00 pm

AND God didn't mind when Lot suggested that the crowd could rape his daughters. Because then not gay.

calliecallie August 9, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Jesus wept.

NorthStarSpanx August 9, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Me too.

Also there, saying that an nonconsensual lesbian is going to enjoy it, really cancels out the rape part doesn't it?

I'm starting to see why conservatives are so offended by the reporting of sexual assaults.

Madfall August 9, 2012 at 12:58 pm

"What you have told us is rubbish. The world is really a flat plate supported on the back of a giant asshole."

The scientist gave a superior smile before replying, "What is the asshole standing on?"

"You're very clever, young man, very clever," said the old lady. "But it's assholes all the way down!"

CommieLibunatic August 9, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Thumbs all the way up!

Hammiepants August 9, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Holy crap. We're really through the looking glass in MI now.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 9, 2012 at 12:59 pm

"… Keep your pussy clean, that’s all you need to do. Do you understand?”

Thanks for the personal hygeine tips!

mlle_derp August 9, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Douchebags recommending douches? Conflict of interest much?

actor212 August 9, 2012 at 1:57 pm

But what about those of us who are not vaginally-enhanced???

NorthStarSpanx August 9, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Is this how Pat Robertson's inner voice speaks?

Fukui-sanYesOta August 9, 2012 at 12:59 pm

"the quickly spreading movement preaches “a frightening, racist theology that says Jesus Christ is returning soon to kill or enslave white people, Jews, homosexuals, and others.”

Their Jesus sounds even more of an asshole than Republican Jesus.

One_who_wanders August 9, 2012 at 1:02 pm

I bet their parties are a lot of fun.

emmelemm August 9, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Meh, he sounds like just the Yin to the Republican Yang. Reverse the colors, and there you are.

MoeDeLawn August 9, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Their Jesus takes after His Father more than the one I grew up with.

Negropolis August 10, 2012 at 2:33 am

I don't know, the only difference is that their Jesus wants to kill white people and Republican Jesus wants to kill browns. Both of them want to kill Jews and gays and "others."

sbj1964 August 9, 2012 at 1:00 pm

I hate kids,and I once raped a clown.It was the clowns fault for wearing all that make-up.The clown was just asking for it.

Generation[redacted] August 9, 2012 at 1:07 pm

I bet that ruined the birthday party. Did the kids still want cake, or were they too busy crying?

MissTaken August 9, 2012 at 1:00 pm

I forget, did Jesus say 'keep your pussy clean, that's all you need to do' before or after raising Lazurus from the dead?

SorosBot August 9, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Maybe it's an extrapolation from Leviticus' rules again any interaction with menstruating women?

boobookitteh August 9, 2012 at 1:07 pm

It's actually in the Olde Testament as the 11th commandment

Angry_Marmot August 9, 2012 at 1:22 pm

I thought the 11th Commandment was "Don't Get Caught."

MissTaken August 9, 2012 at 1:24 pm

nah, the 11th Commandment is 'Tis Not Gay If He Sucks Your Dick'

tessiee August 9, 2012 at 3:22 pm

My Mom told me that the 11th Commandment was, "Bundle up, it's cold outside".

SorosBot August 9, 2012 at 1:00 pm

There's a group of Black Hebrews that preach their crazed nonsense every Friday in front of City Hall here in Philly; it is truly insane. Funny that they don't get the attention of the Nation of Islam – almost as if hateful cults are OK if they're Christian.

MissTaken August 9, 2012 at 1:16 pm

When I was living in Oakland a crazy man came up to me on the street corner and told me I was the anti-Christ and I would know it when he strung me up and gutted me. I have a sinking suspicion that man was one of this lovely group of gentlemen.

SorosBot August 9, 2012 at 1:20 pm

I still want to kick that man's ass for you.

anniegetyerfun August 9, 2012 at 1:27 pm

You guys are so cute.

SorosBot August 9, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Aw thanks.

BaldarTFlagass August 9, 2012 at 1:26 pm

So what were you doing that blew your cover?

MissTaken August 9, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Walking to BART like the lesbian, anti-christ, needin' a good rapin' I am.

SorosBot August 9, 2012 at 1:35 pm

You mean you were out in public without a man to chaperone you? You hussy!

Typodong3 August 9, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Wow that made me remember a time when I was living in Portland, ME. A black man in a suit ran up to me on the street and started screaming at me for no apparent reason, I don't remember what he said. I just walked quickly away. I wonder…

CheeseBro69 August 9, 2012 at 1:01 pm

I cant wait to see what history books in the year 3000 says about christianity!

mlle_derp August 9, 2012 at 1:06 pm

With enough tin foil & rutabagas you can build your own time machine using back issues of Popular Mechanics as a guide.

Designer_Rants August 9, 2012 at 1:08 pm

If it's an "Idiocracy" style history book, it'll start off by saying "Histry bookz r gay", and it'll end by saying "Cleen pussys r awsum".

Pithaughn August 9, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Unless the books are printed on something that is not combustible there won't be history books.

MissusBarry August 9, 2012 at 1:01 pm

So, this man prefers to rape the unclean pussies? Something fishy there.

calliecallie August 9, 2012 at 1:03 pm

tuna fishy

Whatever August 9, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Thank you sir/ma'am. That got a snort.

Barb_ August 9, 2012 at 1:01 pm

"…..Keep your pussy clean…"
Mine is like a self-cleaning oven. It cost extra and is totally worth it.

Generation[redacted] August 9, 2012 at 1:08 pm

I think roomba sells an attachment for that. Or maybe it's a DIY hack project.

Barb_ August 9, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Womba, keeps my lady business clean…..
~Tina Fey

emmelemm August 9, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Does it heat up to 500 degrees?

Barb_ August 9, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Oh my, I hope not Em.

actor212 August 9, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Pity. I'd have been interested.

Mojopo August 9, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Mine too, but I opted for the kit with bottle washers and a Little Tree air freshener just to be safe. I don't want to get raped.

Barb_ August 9, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Mojopo, I respect that.

tessiee August 9, 2012 at 3:24 pm

I don't like the little tree ones because too pointy. do they make one like a ben wa ball?

IonaTrailer August 9, 2012 at 1:16 pm
Barb_ August 9, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Iona, after seeing Boehner touch up his spray tan with an orange Sharpie marker, I could fully see a use for this product, thanks!

Jus_Wonderin August 9, 2012 at 2:11 pm

OMG. That "comment" on the page is hilarious.

IonaTrailer August 9, 2012 at 4:48 pm

The comments are just hilarious.

tessiee August 9, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Is this better or worse than butthole bleaching?

proudgrampa August 9, 2012 at 4:29 pm

So going to your link got me to looking a little further, and I came across this: http://www.etsy.com/listing/95057327/speculum-bir

Speculum Bird!

Funny!

IonaTrailer August 9, 2012 at 4:40 pm

THAT'S just wrong. I actually spit out my tea when I saw that. :-)

Angry_Marmot August 9, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Does a little light come on when you…? Beg your pardon; none of my business, really.

Barb_ August 9, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Angry_Marmot, the light isn't the bad part. It's that fact that you can't open it for 3 hours during the cleaning cycle that is annoying.

Tommy1733 August 9, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Whatever do you do with yourself during that interminable wait? (Please provide graphic details)

mlle_derp August 9, 2012 at 1:01 pm

I wonder why they call themselves Hebrew Israelites if they also hate Jews? Or is it just white Jews they hate?

ChernobylSoup August 9, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Sammy Davis Jr is particularly confused.

mavenmaven August 9, 2012 at 2:01 pm

As I recall from being yelled at by one of them on a subway once: "Because Jacob was a Black man!"

Mumbly_Joe August 9, 2012 at 2:07 pm

To be fair, there's also a "tradition" (within white supremacism) called "British Israelism", which holds that God's real chosen people were ancestors of Anglos, and migrated to northern Europe about halfway through the Bible, and that the Jews are actually devil-worshipping secret muslins who stole claim to "chosen-ness" when nobody was looking.

I basically assume that "Black Hebrew Israelism" is the same basic idea, but with Africa instead of Northern Europe.

HistoriCat August 9, 2012 at 2:16 pm

I'm starting to suspect that religions may not be grounded on a firm basis of logic.

Mumbly_Joe August 9, 2012 at 2:27 pm

And yet, they all share a common foundational principle. Namely, "Fuck you if you're not one of us."

bobbert August 9, 2012 at 4:10 pm

So, geographically-challenged Mormons?

MoeDeLawn August 9, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Ooooh! Ooooh! I know this one!
The local street preacher says that the people that live in Israel now are NOT jews – they're only "jew-ish" – they are "like" jews. But the real jews are the blacks, Latinos and North American Indianss, which are the real Jews, from the real God-chosen tribe of Israel.

One_who_wanders August 9, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Crazy zealots are crazy and zealots. Now with extra crazy.

Goonemeritus August 9, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Without diversity in our crazy, crazy would just get redundant and boring.

IncenseDebate August 9, 2012 at 1:03 pm

When is that preacher scheduled to speak at the GOP convention?

Typodong3 August 9, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Right before Bachmann. You cant follow THAT kind of crazy.

elviouslyqueer August 9, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Dear Old Testament-spouting rapey fundamentalist protester:

YER DOIN IT RONG.

Love,

Compassionate New Testament Jesus

Tommy1733 August 9, 2012 at 3:09 pm

They always overlook the part where Jesus said that the relevant part of all of the Old Testament law can be reduced to 1. "Respect God" and 2. "Love your neighbor".

freakishlywrong August 9, 2012 at 1:03 pm

So, basically I just hate all Christians.

DaSandman August 9, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Think these fuckers are nuts now? Wait until the average daytime temperature in November is 130 degrees. You know, like Florida.

ChessieNefercat August 9, 2012 at 1:04 pm

I am so tired.

Mitt does something craptastically stupid and mean, and incompetent, and un-American every day, and yet swarms of angry killer hate bees suck up all the media attention so that when they do cover Mitt, there is no actual analysis (none that gets MSM traction anyway).

And what the swarms of killer hate bees threaten to do to people they don't like gets covered at the same shallow level as a story about SQUIRREL!!!

Country of slobbering mean dolts.

freakishlywrong August 9, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Don't forget that global warming is a hoax and our gun-control laws are barbaric. But, hey U.S.A.!!1 U.S.A.!!1

MissTaken August 9, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Lt. Mark Ostapowicz explained to MLive.com that the report was closed because no one came forward with a specific complaint.

It's true. 'It’s going to matter when your clothes off and I’m going inside of you repeatedly. That’s when it’s going to matter. Because you going to enjoy yourself.' just isn't quite specific enough. I mean, what kind of clothes was she wearing that are going to be 'off'? Specifically how many times is 'repeatedly'? Does she have to orgasm to 'enjoy (her)self'?

We need specifics people!

PsycWench August 9, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Those "50 Shades of Grey" sequels don't write themselves, Missy.

johnnymeatworth August 9, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Wow, the best street preacher since Anthony Perkins in Crimes Of Passion.

ingloriousbytch August 9, 2012 at 1:06 pm

I'm sorry but when someone says he intends to rape you because the Lord told him to, you don't step closer to him and say, "Show me where it says that in the Bible." You empty a can of pepper spray into his face. WTF?

OneYieldRegular August 9, 2012 at 1:32 pm

I wonder if SkyMall would be interested in selling my "concealed-in-a-Bible" mace dispenser?

bikerlaureate August 9, 2012 at 5:48 pm

The "concealed-in-a-mace-dispenser" Bible quotation unit didn't sell, so you may be on to something there.

CthuNHu August 9, 2012 at 1:59 pm

No, no, no, you say, "Show me where it says that in the Bible," then get close enough that he can point out chapter and verse to you. THEN you empty a can of pepper spray into his face.

Then drop some Chick tracts and Watchtowers on his writhing heathen ass to bewilder him when his eyes stop exploding.

viennawoods13 August 9, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Well, the chain link fence probably helped.

WhatTheHeck August 9, 2012 at 1:07 pm

I always wondered what ‘Bible Thumpers’ meant. I knew it had to do with pounding something, but never knew what. I do now.

SayItWithWookies August 9, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Beliefs are stupid things.

Goonemeritus August 9, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Judging by the Preachers lack of sartorial splendor I am guessing the Black Hebrew Israelites are not a Mega Church.

Callyson August 9, 2012 at 1:09 pm

JFC, WTF?

Mojopo August 9, 2012 at 1:09 pm

I've seen these people before. They insist that their "religion" does not promote violence. However, they do not recognize the New Testament and the last time I checked, the Old Testament is a giant anger ball of violence, rapin', enslavin' and hatin', with some old timey rules about mixed fiber clothing and how you will go to hell for eating a shrimp cocktail.

mlle_derp August 9, 2012 at 1:15 pm

If you do go to hell, will you get more shrimp cocktails? An afterlife with no shellfish is less-than-ideal…

Mojopo August 9, 2012 at 1:20 pm

If it's Hell, it's probably going to be part of a buffet, with family-style seating. I hate that.

Chet Kincaid_ August 9, 2012 at 2:05 pm

I'd stay away from Hell's Chocolate Wonderfall, also.

tessiee August 9, 2012 at 3:27 pm

And all the desserts at the viennese table are Circus Peanuts.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 9, 2012 at 1:10 pm

This guy seems awfully insistent that I am going to enjoy it when he rapes me. Sounds like he's overcompensating for being really bad in bed and having a micro-penis.

PsycWench August 9, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Every time I try to wash my pussy, she scratches me and bites and howls something fierce. Am I doing something wrong?

La_Cieca August 9, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Yes, you are, say Mr Rumbold and Captain Peacock.

YasserArraFeck August 9, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Mr Lucas, are you free?

gogogodzilla August 9, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Try licking it.

Dildeaux August 9, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Would a little soft petting and a smooch be so difficult?

Oblios_Cap August 9, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Maybe I need to watch and see what you're doing wrong.

Actually, I've washed my pussy with much the same results. And I'm male.

DahBoner August 9, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Actually, you first have to set a big tub in the middle of the room with a couple of inches of warm water in it.

Pussy cannot resist jumping in, re:curiosity.

Add more and more water over time.

Result: Wet Pussy!

boobookitteh August 9, 2012 at 1:10 pm

One of these guys once told those of us assembled on a downtown 1 train that lesbians would fry in hell- like fried chicken. But not like fancee Kentucky Fried Chicken, like regular, generic fried chicken.

I personally prefer my religious zealots to be more absurdist than rapey.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 9, 2012 at 1:14 pm

I thought chicken was anti-gay?

boobookitteh August 9, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Only the brand name chicken
He was pretty clear on that point.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 9, 2012 at 1:31 pm

So, like, convenience store fried chicken. Mebbe I could be microwaved like a convenience store burrito instead.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 9, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Well, he has this secret recipe…

MissTaken August 9, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Rape the gay away!

MacRaith August 9, 2012 at 1:17 pm

With votes! Great big long rock-hard votes!

CommieLibunatic August 9, 2012 at 1:20 pm

God DAMMIT people. That episode of South Park was supposed to be a parody, not a blueprint!

SayItWithWookies August 9, 2012 at 1:35 pm

There is no idea so stupid that some religion won't make it a core principle.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 9, 2012 at 1:31 pm

That hardly ever works.

actor212 August 9, 2012 at 2:07 pm

o/~ Sunny days, raping the
Gay away o/~

JustPixelz August 9, 2012 at 1:12 pm

These are going to have to try a lot harder if they want to out-do the Repubican Party's War on Women and LGBT.

Crank_Tango August 9, 2012 at 1:13 pm

[insert stand your ground comment here]
[insert concealed carry comment here]

This is good news for Mccain.

TribecaMike August 9, 2012 at 1:24 pm

"My friends, we've their beytsim just where we want them."

ph7 August 9, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Black Hebrew Israelites

Are you sure that's a religion, and not just a Captcha?

upthruster August 9, 2012 at 1:13 pm

I personally would become a lesbian if this is what a heterosexual man had in mind for the rest of my life. Yeah, pretty much movin' on down to the island of Lesbos.

ingloriousbytch August 9, 2012 at 1:14 pm

You just know those guys are on the down low.

anniegetyerfun August 9, 2012 at 1:24 pm

I'm amazed that their jaws still worked, given all the cock-sucking that they obviously do.

JustPixelz August 9, 2012 at 1:15 pm

In South Africa they call it "corrective rape" which supposedly cures the woman of her non-heterosexuality. Though somehow I feel like it would have the opposite effect.

ChernobylSoup August 9, 2012 at 1:21 pm

You're talking about a society that elected a convict as president. The dude had been sentenced to life in prison, for goodness sake.

PuckStopsHere August 9, 2012 at 1:16 pm

He only said "pussy" because it is illegal to say "vagina" here in Michigan, as you know.

viennawoods13 August 9, 2012 at 2:10 pm

And I doubt he takes orders from the ladies, too.

sbj1964 August 9, 2012 at 1:18 pm

What is the etiquette when a preacher rapes a lesbian? Is he obligated to the 15 minutes of spooning after?

CommieLibunatic August 9, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Holy fucking shit. It's too shocking and early in the morning (at least here in tha OC) to say anything more.

Mumbly_Joe August 9, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Well, I personally hope that at least they plan on following Biblical Morality, and marrying these ladies afterwards. After paying a 50-sheckel fine to the lady's owner father, for property loss, that is.

orygoon August 9, 2012 at 1:22 pm

I do try to keep my pussy clean, but it's not easy, what with how disgusting and awful them d-bags generally are.

TribecaMike August 9, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Don't expect Shecky Greene to perform at this year's convention behind the Sip 'N Dip.

SorosBot August 9, 2012 at 1:23 pm

The street preacher looked so baffled when I asked him why he dressed with twenty pounds of headlines stapled to his chest.

actor212 August 9, 2012 at 2:04 pm

He musta bitched when you proved it to him

anniegetyerfun August 9, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Just proof that complete fucking lunacy is an option no matter where your genes originate from.

SorosBot August 9, 2012 at 1:25 pm

And religion is very good at exacerbating it.

MissTaken August 9, 2012 at 1:26 pm

This post has given me a not-so-fresh feeling.

Mumbletypeg August 9, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Whoa. I thought after reading the synopsis here, that the story — if it included any photos, not that I was all that eager – would show the image of some strapping Hulk-like figure, body of NBA’s Shawn Kemp (*in his heyday*) and a facial expression just as menacing.
Instead, this guy? Looks more like our traffic cop offending smartass of yore.. . who if you recall, seemed not so straight himself.

(Note: I haven’t played the actual vid which is unpossible from work. Plus I’d fear for my sanity.)

Redhead August 9, 2012 at 1:26 pm

"“What does ‘ravished’ mean? It means, we going to rape your ass,” the protester explains. “And I’m going to have fun doing that shit. And you going to like that. I promise you.”"

Are you SURE this is what the crazy Black Hebrew Isrealite people said to the lesbians, and not what the Focus on the Family board members said to their 15-year-old rentboys? Aren't homophobes typically against anal sex/rape?

Monsieur_Grumpe August 9, 2012 at 1:28 pm

As an atheist I hereby claim the moral high ground. Although I think even a slug could look down on these two-legged turds.

Mojopo August 9, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Have you ever noticed that cops have really clear opinions about who they can Tazer or pepperspray, but they're pretty sure they can't help an activist? I guess this must be the Litmus test for responding to crime. This situation did not require electrocution, therefore it isn't their job.

CthuNHu August 9, 2012 at 2:01 pm

This situation did not require electrocution…

I beg to differ.

Mojopo August 9, 2012 at 2:20 pm

No please, have one – I insist. In fact, I may even agree.

Gleem McShineys August 9, 2012 at 2:35 pm

I think she probably merely forgot to tell them "Oh, by the way, they're all black."

This usually gets them in the mood.

tessiee August 9, 2012 at 3:35 pm

If only she'd called the cops and said "a BLAH guy is harrassing me", they would've been there before she could put her phone back in her pocket.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 9, 2012 at 1:32 pm

This guy needs a good skullf*cking.

neiltheblaze August 9, 2012 at 2:02 pm

You know – I think his skull may already be f*cked.

CommieLibunatic August 9, 2012 at 1:34 pm

“Back in the day there was no free power, there was no going to the mall,” one protester tells the woman. “There was, ‘sit your ass in this house until I bring my ass home.’”

Well, it's a good fucking thing this isn't "back in the day." Remember, kids, there is no such thing as the "good ol' days." Anybody who says otherwise has a mind fogged by idealized memories and possibly a six-pack of PBR.

elviouslyqueer August 9, 2012 at 1:44 pm

If memory serves, in some sections of the country "back in the day" most persons of the non-Caucasian persuasion would also be strung up from a tree if they were caught out after dark, acted "disrespectfully" or, for that matter, so much as looked at a white person the "wrong way."

Chet Kincaid_ August 9, 2012 at 2:25 pm

"Come now, and let us reason together" is clearly not a part of their scriptures.

bikerlaureate August 9, 2012 at 5:51 pm

What? You probably believe man actually landed on the moon too.

tessiee August 9, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Back in the day, one paycheck was enough to run a household, but I digress.

kissawookiee August 9, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Terence Howard DID admonish us to keep baby wipes in every room, after all.

anniegetyerfun August 9, 2012 at 1:44 pm

I've always had baby wipes around the house, because… well, it just seemed nice, always having a clean fanny. But that whole thing ruined Howard for me, forever. Like, he made the first Iron Man about 60% less awesome.

BaldarTFlagass August 9, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Is that an American fanny or a British fanny?

Chet Kincaid_ August 9, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Given a certain event he witnessed in childhood, it is no wonder he is fucking nuts.

Dildeaux August 9, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Tonight! A Fox News exclusive…

anniegetyerfun August 9, 2012 at 1:45 pm

When will Barack Obama apologize for this outrage?

Angry_Marmot August 9, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Snark off, these guys have been around these parts since the mid-80s. As a group they seem to specialize in child abuse/ murder / homophobia , usually targeting their own members.

widestanceromance August 9, 2012 at 1:37 pm

While hardly my area of expertise, I would think the first rule of Clean Pussy Club is keeping filth like these guys OUT of it.

TribecaMike August 9, 2012 at 1:38 pm

They do have tradition on their side…

"Of the woman came the beginning of sin, and through her we all die." (Eccles. 25:22)

"Give me any plague, but the plague of the heart: and any wickedness, but the wickedness of a woman." (Eccles. 25:13)

"If she go not as thou wouldest have her, cut her off from thy flesh, and give her a bill of divorce, and let her go." (Eccles. 25: 26)

"A silent and loving woman is a gift of the Lord: and there is nothing so much worth as a mind well instructed. A shamefaced and faithful woman is a double grace, and her continent mind cannot be valued." (Eccles. 26:14-15)

"For from garments cometh a moth, and from women wickedness. Better is the churlishness of a man than a courteous woman, a woman, I say, which bringeth shame and reproach." (Eccles. 42:13-14)

MissTaken August 9, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Sounds like King Solomon had a sad about his teeny-weeny penis.

pinkocommi August 9, 2012 at 1:44 pm

“What does ‘ravished’ mean? It means, we going to rape your ass.”

Makes me look at "What would Jesus do?" paraphanalia in a whole new light.

BaldarTFlagass August 9, 2012 at 1:50 pm

So when I tell my date she looks "ravishing," her spider-sense better start tingling?

pinkocommi August 9, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Wonder what God thinks about the people who follow him most fervently being complete assholes….

larrykat August 9, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Would any of this had happened if these black guys hadn't watched Samuel Jackson in Pulp Fiction too many times? I think they just like to recite the bible like he did.

SorosBot August 9, 2012 at 1:56 pm

I saw Pulp Fiction on the airplane. It's cute. It's a 30-minute film about a group of friends who like cheeseburgers, dancing and the Bible.

tessiee August 9, 2012 at 3:38 pm

My favorite part of that movie is when Uma tells John Travolta that if he doesn't get up and dance with her in the twist contest, she'll have her husband kill him.
He gets this puzzled look on his face — like you can practically see the gears grinding sluggishly in his brain — and you can tell he's seriously thinking it over.
"Do the twist in front of a room full of people, or be killed horribly? What to do, what to do?"

cheetojeebus August 9, 2012 at 1:48 pm

I don't remember this part of "Wise Blood" ?

Extemporanus August 9, 2012 at 1:49 pm

While y'all were busy commentating, I was quietly cleaning your pussies.

(You're welcome!)

actor212 August 9, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Daniel-san, show me "Sand the twat"!

Extemporanus August 9, 2012 at 2:02 pm

"Brazilian wax on…Brazilian wax off."

MissTaken August 9, 2012 at 1:57 pm

You don't have to be so quiet next time.

Extemporanus August 9, 2012 at 2:05 pm

They don't call me "The Pussy Whisperer" for nothin'…

TribecaMike August 9, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Now do the dishes.

elviouslyqueer August 9, 2012 at 2:29 pm

And fix me a sammich.

Jus_Wonderin August 9, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I hope you used that fabulous new product "Pussy Wow".

mmeetoilenoir August 9, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Ooooh. That's why I'm suddenly all fresh and minty! Thanks! I hope you used the organic products this time.

tessiee August 9, 2012 at 3:40 pm

So *that*'s how that little bouquet of flowers got in there!
$: – )

actor212 August 9, 2012 at 1:51 pm

“What does ‘ravished’ mean? It means, we going to rape your ass,”

Buttsechs is so ghey.

Fox n Fiends August 9, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Religion is AWESOME!

TribecaMike August 9, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Since most members of the Black Hebrew Israelites are former or current convicts, one doesn't need to be a psychoanalyst to get why they're obsessed with rape.

ingloriousbytch August 9, 2012 at 2:01 pm

I love the arrogance of the guy demanding she keep her pussy clean in anticipation of being raped. Wouldn't the most sensible thing be to make sure her pussy was so toxic it would dissolve his dick?

mavenmaven August 9, 2012 at 2:04 pm

So low class and crass. It is the White Man's Burden to teach them not to say "we'll rape you" but rather say, using an educated professional voice: "you will need to undergo transvaginal ultrasound".

emmelemm August 9, 2012 at 2:13 pm

"With my penis."

Franknflower August 9, 2012 at 2:04 pm

My religion says I can kick you in the balls.

An_Outhouse August 9, 2012 at 2:07 pm

the men also recited her boyfriend’s license plate number

The lesbian has a boyfriend? Is there another definition of lesbian that I'm not aware of?

pdiddycornchips August 9, 2012 at 2:07 pm

So why didn't the cops arrest these guys? I mean, it's not like they're white religious zeolots, that I could understand.

proudgrampa August 9, 2012 at 2:12 pm

“What does ‘ravished’ mean? It means, we going to rape your ass,” the protester explains. “And I’m going to have fun doing that shit. And you going to like that. I promise you.”

Wow. This is one of the most violent, nasty pieces of shit I've ever seen. Burn in hell, you fucking asshole.

Chet Kincaid_ August 9, 2012 at 2:15 pm

It is a measure of the steely courage and commitment of both black and white hate groups that they do not simply get together with their weapons and end each others' misery. I would even help them send out the invitations.

proudgrampa August 9, 2012 at 4:35 pm

We can dream, can't we?

mrblifil August 9, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Street Preacher's got some swagger, perhaps even a hint of panache. His verbal ripostes remind me of some classic Wonkettz encounters with They Who Breath Through Their Mouths. "That comment would sound better if you read it aloud with my dick in your mouth…"

Unfortunately the target of his venom and bile are totally nice and innocent people who are just wandering around trying to get through their day. Street Preacher also probably doesn't acknowledge to himself that his rape fantasies are a psychological subterfuge designed to overcome the fact that his smoking and drug habits have likely left him profoundly unable to perform. So there's that.

Chet Kincaid_ August 9, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Alright, I'll stop mocking all you people's crazy racist relatives for a day!!

HistoriCat August 9, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Let's face it – there's plenty of embarrassing shit for all human beings. Can I be abducted by aliens now? I could use a nice, peaceful rest in their intergalactic zoo.

proudgrampa August 9, 2012 at 2:20 pm

"Keep your pussy clean, that’s all you need to do."

Is this a Massengill commercial???

Chet Kincaid_ August 9, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Edgy marketing! But will it play in Tuscaloosa?

DahBoner August 9, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Just goes to show ya:

Spare the Pimphand, Spoil the Black Racist

TribecaMike August 9, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Fox defending lesbians from blacks in 3, 2, 1…

tessiee August 9, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Fox programmers: "Take the gay people's side, or take the blah people's side? What to do, what to do?"
Maybe this will make their tiny, sloping heads explode and we'll finally be rid of them.

Chet Kincaid_ August 9, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Slew-footed, Chuck-Taylors-wearin', handkerchief-headed piece of shit.

Guppy August 9, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Good news, everyone!

Isaiah 13 is talking about Babylon, and I think we got all the rapey stuff over with in Abu Ghraib.

Nothing to see here, move along.

zippy_w_pinhead August 9, 2012 at 2:38 pm

How nice. The GOP finally found some blah people that will fit under their big tent….

Gleem McShineys August 9, 2012 at 2:44 pm

See, BOTH SIDES DO IT!

TribecaMike August 9, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Why isn't threatening someone treated as a crime by the Grand Rapids police department?

bikerlaureate August 9, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Professional courtesy.

Ducksworthy August 9, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Crackhead Christians are the backbone of American morality.

Chet Kincaid_ August 9, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Hebrews 13, 1 and 2:

"Let brotherly love continue. Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares."

I see nothing in this passage about keeping a clean pussy, or ignorant motherfuckers wearing Converses shouting ugly threats from behind a chain-link fence.

mmeetoilenoir August 9, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Honestly, crazy dudes? Just say that you want to fuck Caucasian women. IT'S OK.

What sort of madness do they have planned for us Black women, I wonder?

Chet Kincaid_ August 9, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Are you a Super Etoile de Dakar?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBn_AOhRLPM

mmeetoilenoir August 9, 2012 at 3:06 pm

If I get to have awesome theme music like that, yes!

proudgrampa August 9, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Awesome. It has a beat. And you can dance to it!

Nesnora August 9, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Another reason I bathe in vodka every weekend.

tessiee August 9, 2012 at 3:30 pm

"Keep your pussy clean, that’s all you need to do."

Just the advice I'd expect from a douche.

Mumbly_Joe August 9, 2012 at 3:47 pm

"… Keep your pussy clean, that’s all you need to do. Do you understand?”

I believe the reason everyone's so unfamiliar with this particular Commandment is that it comes from the Book of Lysau, which has largely been considered apocryphal, since the 1950's.

ttommyunger August 9, 2012 at 11:11 pm

Figures, this nutjob requires a clean pussy, however his netherparts smell like the slums of Calcutta in August, I'm wagering.

Negropolis August 10, 2012 at 2:28 am

I have no snark. This is scary and horrible and every evil thing. I guess I find some solace in that these folks are being tracked by the SPLC, but am horrified that these terrorists are allowed to get away with this.

BTW, anyone else amused when asked to back up his shit he chooses some totally random quote from Isaiah? Usually, they at least try to make it applicable to the situation.

BZ1 August 10, 2012 at 5:22 pm

vile behavior cloaked in religious cacophony

keinsignal August 9, 2012 at 2:08 pm

I take it you didn't read all the way to the end, then.

zippy_w_pinhead August 9, 2012 at 2:34 pm

or doubles your chance at being rejected…

HistoriCat August 9, 2012 at 2:54 pm

It's all the same mathematically : 0 x 2 = 0.

zippy_w_pinhead August 9, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'…

BoatOfVelociraptors August 9, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Problematic for gettin somethin.

viennawoods13 August 9, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Well, they did get him drunk and fuck him. so yeah, hussies.

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