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Blood Money

So, you know this picture? Wonkette editor Kris E. Benson likes to run it a lot. You’ve seen it 50 times maybe. Or 500, who knows? (Personally, our Romney-pic go-to is romneyapplauds.jpg.) So it turns out this picture is of Romney and pals celebrating their initial funding. And since Your Wonkette is like the Sesame Street of unspeakable atrocities, we learned something about this initial funding just yesterday! What was that something? Just the small matter that Bain Capital’s initial startup money came from the backers (and sometimes the fronters!) of El Salvador’s death squads.

Oh pooh, you say, nobody but stupid commies cares about Latin American death squads. (And nuns. Nuns care a lot. So like we said, nobody but stupid commies cares about Latin American death squads.)

Hi Bloomberg Businessweek, do you have an uncomfortable interview with His Lord High Hairgel Mittens Romney, about the “moment of humor” that this picture captured?

BLOOMBERG BUSINESSWEEK: When you look at it now, does that photo of you and your Bain colleagues posing with money in your pinstripe suits make you laugh or make you cringe?

ROMNEY: Oh, that was a moment of humor as we had just done what we thought was impossible. We had raised $37 million from other people and institutions who entrusted us with their funds, and we thought it was a miracle that our group had been able to be so successful in fundraising. And ultimately we were able to yield for them a very attractive return by such investments as Staples, which was in our very first fund.

BLOOMBERG BUSINESSWEEK: So it’s a happy memory.

ROMNEY: We had a great group of people, each one of whom I think of fondly.


Yes, Mitt Romney thinks of each member of El Salvador’s ARENA party fondly, from the ones who assassinated Archbishop Oscar Romero in his pulpit, to the ones who tortured thousands of Salvadoran citizens with a blowtorch.

Obviously, this is a losing battle. John Negroponte, our ambassador to Honduras at the time who covered up the torture and war crimes of Battalion 316 by digging mass graves on the grounds of a US military base there, was made ambassador to the UN and then Iraq under George W. Bush. Anyway, everyone knows the Contras were the equivalent of the US founding fathers! And Pinochet made Chile safe for Capitalism!

So the fact that Mitt Romney remembers fondly all his Latin American death squad friends should bump him up with the bloodthirsty base, at the very least, since at the moment they’re all terribly concerned that a Romney flack admitted that Socialist Kenyan Anticolonial Romneycare keeps people from dying in Massachusetts. Keeps people from dying?! Why, that just won’t do. Romney-Ghost of D’Aubuisson 2012!


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