Actual Contents of Scott Brown's MindSen. Scott Brown is soo mad, you guys! He apparently just found out about this little-known secret plot to destroy him by adding a lot of undesirable poors to the voter rolls! The culprit is the 1993 National Voter Registration Act, aka the “Motor Voter Law,” which since 1995 has required state governments to offer people the opportunity to register to vote when they access government services, like getting a driver’s license or — and here’s the UNFAIR! thing — applying for welfare benefits. This aggression, says the furry-chested former Cosmo sexyboy, will not stand, man.

You see, a number of groups have been suing states to ensure that the law was actually followed. One of those suits was pursued in Massachusetts — a woman complained that she wasn’t offered the chance to register to vote when she applied for assistance, and rather than fight the case, the Commonwealth settled, saying Oh, yeah, right, that federal law thing. As part of the settlement, Massachusetts agreed to offer voter registration, by mail, to the 477,944 people who had not been given the chance to register when they applied for various benefits, as they should have been.

Scott Brown sees this move to enforce a federal law for exactly what it is: an attempt to steal his Senate seat, which rightfully belongs to him. Never mind that seven other states also face similar lawsuits aimed at forcing them to comply with the Motor Voter law; Brown has seized on the fact that one of the four voting-rights advocacy groups in the Massachusetts case is chaired by the daughter of his opponent, Elizabeth Warren. See? Totally unfair! Brown’s campaign issued a statement that is not at all whiny, and that conveniently forgets to mention that Massachusetts agreed to the settlement because it was violating a federal law:

I want every legal vote to count, but it’s outrageous to use taxpayer dollars to register welfare recipients as part of a special effort to boost one political party over another. This effort to sign up welfare recipients is being aided by Elizabeth Warren’s daughter and it’s clearly designed to benefit her mother’s political campaign. It means that I’m going to have to work that much harder to get out my pro-jobs, pro-free enterprise message.

To be perfectly clear, this is a sitting US Senator complaining about people having access to the vote, in compliance with the nation’s election laws. But… but… they receive welfare! That must make their votes illegal somehow! (You will be astonished to learn that the press release also mentions ACORN! You did not see that coming, did you?)

Brown’s dog-whistle strategy here fits nicely with Mitt Romney’s lies about welfare reform: Beware, America! An army of Poors (especially the black black blaackety-black-black blacks) is being mobilized by the food-stamp President to steal your moneys! WITH VOTES!


Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Buzz Feedback

    The poors can have their food stamps OR their butterfly ballots, but not both. Mmmkay?

  • Yes, a non-partisan voter-rights advocacy group is so totes going to ruin your chances at getting elected.

    I mean, it's not like she's Florida governor, man. See, now that would be totally fair, right?

  • coolhandnuke

    Scott Brown to the poors–"Let them eat beefcake."

    • mlle_derp


  • SexySmurf

    Scott Brown thinks only people who wear monocles should be allowed to vote.

    • Negropolis

      In Massachusetts, that would mean Warren in a landslide.

  • Billmatic

    Yeah buddy! Keep sayin dumb shit, stick with this narrative! I want Senator Warren!

  • MadBrahms

    The Maddow Blog may have said it best: "As a rule, any sentence that begins, 'I want every legal vote to count, but…' isn't going to end well."

  • IonaTrailer

    Chicago Voter

    My father was a staunch conservative and voted a straight Republican ticket until the day he died.

    Now he votes Democratic.

    • Nostrildamus

      Uhhhh, staunch conservatives of your dad's generation voted for this guy (D).

      • Iam_Who_Iam

        I just want to know how a troll got more pee points than me. Now I have a sadz.

        edit: I meant that trailer trash fellow not you Nostrildamus.

        • IonaTrailer

          I'm not a troll.
          How rude!

          And yes, I grew up under Hiz Honnor da Mayor, and what a moron he was.
          I lived around the corner from Obama's house.

          • If Hizz Honnor was so fucking stupid, how come Detroit, Cleveland, New York and other cities went down the toilet in the '70s while Chicago was still working?

          • IonaTrailer

            Chicago didn't?

          • No it didn't. I was here. For example:

            Now show me the details on Chicago going bankrupt or into default in the '70s.

          • IonaTrailer

            White flight, factories closing, cops kicking our doors in – but okay, not into bankruptcy

          • I didn't say Chicago was perfect. But pick any random year in the '70s, and I would rather be here than New York, Cleveland or Detroit. The fact that Daley I was not a complete "moron" may have had something to do with that.

          • IonaTrailer

            I'm just saying that Richard J Daley was a wannabe Nicolae Ceaușescu. I had to live through that shit.

          • Iam_Who_Iam

            Iona, I looked at your comment history and you seem to be a regular harmless Wonketti so I supposed the troll tag was uncalled for (though you seem pretty troll-y when it comes to Chicago and voting Democrats). Anyhow, I'm sorry for misjudging you. It’s a shame too, I was gearing up to refer to you as Iona Troller Trash, clever right? Nevermind.

          • IonaTrailer

            No harm done. It's just that growing up in Chicago in the 1950's and 60's was pretty funny. I remember when my dad told me you didn't have to have a folded $5 bill under your driver's license when one of Chicago's finest stopped you for speeding, because $2 would do the trick. And if you didn't fork over a small donation to the local Alderman, your trash wouldn't get picked up. And god help you if the fireman ever had to come to your house – they'd steal whatever wasn't nailed down. But oddly, as long as you subscribed to the way things actually were, and didn't worry about how they weren't like they were supposed to be, everything worked. Our Alderman was Leon Depres was our lefty Alderman and City Hall hated him. We loved him.

    • That meme is so relevant today! So who you for, Kennedy or Nixon?

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      that's actually kind of funny…it's so wingnutty it could only be ironic especially given all the recent voter fraud (duhn! duhn! duhn!) has of course been committed by Republicans. Chicago really has made corruption into an art form that needs to be appreciated. It's not Louisianna where corruption is so culturally ingrained they can't even recognize it…but it's pretty amazing. There's also Boss Tweed who was so corrupt he was a human caricature. But Chicago, Tweed and Louisianna could never, ever compare to the national election corruption. Right now as we speak the GOP is crafting a platform based upon a bribe menu where $10 million gets you the "let's kill the Muslims" plank on the platform, etc. Just unfucking believable…

      • IonaTrailer

        Yes, there was something almost charming about Chicago corruption. Unless of course you were black or poor and then you were just fucked.

    • Negropolis


      I love how everyone missed the snark. lol

      • IonaTrailer

        Thank you, Sweetheart.

  • mlle_derp

    "… it’s outrageous to use taxpayer dollars to register welfare recipients as part of a special effort to boost one political party over another."

    But aren't most Tea Partyers ON Welfare?

    • mrpuma2u

      Or they got their hoverround free with soshuliss medicaid.

  • JustPixelz

    Brown still doesn't like the browns, does he?

    • mlle_derp

      I thought UPS employed many persons of color?

    • IceCreamEmpress

      80% of welfare recipients in Mass. are white, non-Hispanic.

      He is cutting his own throat with this shit because they are the people who would vote for him because he has a pickup truck and his daughter was on "American Idol" and also Jesus, whereas that Elizabeth Warren lady is a snooty Harvard professor with glasses.

      • Fox n Fiends

        Its about the narrative, not the reality. sadly.

        • IceCreamEmpress

          Ah! You have enlightened me, seriously. He's dogwhistling to his fellow Republicans, even if it costs him some votes. Oh, Scotty, you devious cad.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Imma shoot this whiny bitch in the ass. With food stamps.

  • finallyhappy

    ok, now I want to smack him and Joe Walsh.

  • Mike Dukakis
    John Kerry
    Mitt Romney
    Scott Brown

    Um, Massachussetts? Don't look now but you're in danger of tipping over into Tennessee territory for shitty candidates. You can only run so long on the legacy of JF/RF/EMK, you know.

  • Schmannnity

    OT Are his daughters registered and are they being polled?

    • MadBrahms

      Don't you mean "poled"?

      • Depends on which bar they're working tonight.

    • Negropolis

      Someone needs to check the Massachusetts sex offender registry or the Boston strip clubs…or both.

  • IonaTrailer

    "Vote early, vote often" we used to say growing up in Chicago.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      How long ago did you grow up?

      • IonaTrailer

        Was 11 in 1960.

        Got my ass out of Chicago in 1968. Missed the convention that summer. But a lot of friends got trashed. Went to the west coast.

  • not that Dewey

    Who can Brown screw for you?

  • JustPixelz

    I'd take his worries over taxpayer money and people gaming the electoral system if I could find his stirring denunciation of voter ID laws, early voting restrictions. For that matter, think of the government money that could be saved by using Bed, Bath and Beyond 20% certificates. They have M1A1 tanks (in "beyond").

  • Baconzgood




  • SexySmurf

    OT In Blago news:

    Among the other things secretly recorded by the FBI: "that Blagojevich mentioned naming Oscar-winning actress Halle Berry to Obama's vacant Senate seat so he could 'have a shot' at having sex with her."

    He's like the anti-Bulworth.

    • I'm starting to gain respect for Blago.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      Can't blame him for that

    • widestanceromance

      Yeah, she'd be heels to heaven for a piece of that.

    • HistoriCat

      Halle Berry would be fucking golden.

  • Baconzgood

    He went on to write, "I thought the CU ruling made it $1 1 vote. What the fuck people?"

  • fartknocker

    So if I receive Federal disaster assistance does that mean I can't vote? Another goat fuck trying to disenfranchise voters. He might as well say that he doesn't want anyone other than white people at the polls.

    • AncienReggie

      These numbers may be stale, but I believe over 70% of welfare recipients are white. And yes, that's welfare, not social security, medicare, disability, military pensions or any of the other forms of federal life support.

    • He, and the GOPbaggers, doesn't want anyone other then white people to vote.

  • MonkeyMotion

    Senator Brown and his supporters should simply spend the next 3 months PRAYING.

    Cuz, you know, that'll fix everything. Like it always does. Right?

  • Don't you have to own land to vote?

    • ImpureScience

      Or slaves.

  • Baconzgood

    If people that get welfare cant vote and BP gets welfare and thier a citizen and….My head's getting dizzy with this GOP spiral.

  • I swear to god if Massachusetts re-elects this asshole, the whole state should be quarantined.

    • walterhwhite

      I'm from Massachusetts and have to agree with you. Thing is, even though Mass. has this super-liberal reputation, you gotta watch out for those big pockets of Republicans.

  • Clearly, if you allow people to vote, Republicans can't win. What part of the Constitution do you not understand!!!

    • PubOption

      It does say that states are guaranteed a Republican Form of Government.

    • It's during the elections that being part of the 1% sucks.

  • Callyson

    it’s outrageous to use taxpayer dollars to register welfare recipients as part of a special effort to boost one political party over another.

    But it's quite alright to run voter registration drives that target the military, isn't it?


    • SorosBot

      And perfectly OK to create voter ID requirements that make it harder for the poor to vote as part of a special effort to boost one political party over another.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      "Welfare recipients" has a broad meaning when you consider how many Republicans live off government spending. Or collect money directly from one program or another.

    • Naked_Bunny

      Of course, the only reason why this sort of program boosts one party over the other is that the other party is always trying to screw the people who need the program.

  • DaSandman

    The poors want to vote? Next they'll want food.

  • qwerty42

    So ….. Sen. Scott favors following the law unless it might cause him problems, then he favors not following the law?

    • grex1949

      zackly. somethin' wrong wit dat?

  • pinkocommi

    That's some nerve. It's almost as if people who are on welfare think they are citizens with rights or something. It'd be totally different if they were corporations. Then of course then can vote!

    • GeorgiaBurning

      When it's a corporation, they don't call it "welfare"

      • grex1949

        They call it "no-bid contract".

  • ImpureScience

    "I want every legal vote to count, but it’s outrageous to use taxpayer dollars to register welfare recipients as part of a special effort to boost one political party over another."

    You know about the way to analyze a sentence like this, right? You throw away everything up to and including the "but"…

  • mrpuma2u

    It's like these blahs/brownz/poorz think voting is a right or something…

  • SorosBot

    It's very simple; Republicans are against the right to vote for anyone who is unlikely to vote Republican. They hate democracy and freedom.

    • widestanceromance

      Democracy and freedom will destroy this nation!1!1

  • How did this happen? I thought that Soros had eliminated all those enemies who speak the name of our illustrious leader ACORN.


  • Scott Brown believes that if welfare is good enough for the rich, then it's too good for the poor. Disenfranchising them is the only way to keep 'em out of the government-subsidy country club.

  • IceCreamEmpress

    Cut your own throat some more, Scott! Most of Massachusetts's welfare recipients are your base, dude—white high-school dropouts. The welfare offices in Worcester and Chicopee and pretty much everywhere outside of 128 look like the Gathering of the Juggalos without the mud lake.

    • Fox n Fiends

      100% accurate.

  • mavenmaven

    Only people with high incomes who pay no taxes should be allowed to vote.

    • CthuNHu

      This worked wonderfully for the French aristocracy for centuries.

      Eventually, of course, liberals took over and the government insisted on taking their cut.

  • rickmaci

    Jeebuz but he is one sniveling, whiny, beeotch. How does an asshole like that become a United States Senator?

    • bobbert

      A really poor Democratic candidate?

    • BoroPrimorac

      Man cleavage.

    • IceCreamEmpress

      The Democratic candidate didn't bother to campaign.

      Seriously, she couldn't be arsed to campaign even a bit. Martha Coakley, you are a mixed bag as Attorney General, but even the purely good things you've done in that role will never ever make up for your criminal laziness and self-importance in letting this jabrone walk over you into a Senate seat.

  • An_Outhouse

    He left out the part where the voters were also provided with absentee ballots with Elizabeth Warren already selected. For convenience!

  • Fox n Fiends

    The problem with the 1% is that democracy is so….inconvenient for them.

  • GeorgiaBurning

    Voting gets confusing for the lower classes, they might screw up and vote for the wrong sort of candidate.

  • I'm confused. Was there a geological shift? When did Massachusetts join the confederacy?

  • Come here a minute

    Let's be fair and offer to register everyone who takes advantage of the capital gains tax cuts.

  • Wilcoxyz

    How many years of IRS returns should you have to show in order to register?

  • grex1949

    "Let 'em vote, but only if they vote for me. I'm in favor of counting every legal vote for me. Registering people who might be inclined not to vote for me is a bad idea, because these voters might not vote for me. It's outrageous to tell people who might not vote for me that they even have the right to vote. The fact that my opponent's daughter is behind this sinister plot makes the plot even more diabolical. Now I'm going to have to work harder to mislead the electorate so I have a chance to win in November. Vote for Me."

  • WhatTheHeck

    Like they say in third world countries, You can’t be sucking on the gubbermint teat, and, stick your finger in the ink (to show you voted).

  • AddHomonym

    Wait. Poor people all aspire to be rich and therefore vote Republican. Is everyone fogetting that old chestnut?

  • bureaucrap

    What we need is a mirror voter registration law, so they can feel their constituencies have been served. You are automatically registered to vote every time you buy a boat of 40' or larger; buy a house of four or more bedrooms; buy an imported luxury car for cash, join a country club, or enroll your child in a private school.

  • RadioBowels

    I could go for a pro-job right about now….

  • docterry6973

    I thought you had to own property worth $150K before you could vote..

  • owhatever

    Poor people are simply not allowed to vote. It's just not done. Why is that so hard for liberals to understand?

  • Naked_Bunny

    It's unfair that Republicans should have to face any consequences for their efforts to fuck over poor people.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    What is it with these fucking republicans and their time machine conspiracies? Barry went back in time to frig with the birth certificate…now someone's gone back (probably E. Warren) and diddle the motor voter law just so she could beat Brown.

    Tide: Beat…not BE Brown. Gah.

  • TribecaMike

    Bit o' trivia re the graphic, from Wikipedia:

    "When invited to perform at the White House for the first time in 1970, Richard Nixon's office requested that he play 'Okie from Muskogee' (a satirical Merle Haggard song about people who despised youthful drug users and war protesters) and 'Welfare Cadillac' (a Guy Drake song which denies the integrity of welfare recipients). Cash declined to play either and instead selected other songs, including 'The Ballad of Ira Hayes' (about a brave Native American World War II veteran who was mistreated upon his return to Arizona), and his own compositions, 'What Is Truth' and 'Man in Black'."

  • ttommyunger

    …but I would like to fuck his daughters-in front of him.

  • Negropolis

    Wasn't Scotty's mommy on welfare? Isn't this something he originally bragged about to get him elected? Why wasn't this brought up immediately?

    • IceCreamEmpress

      Welfare is like abortion; IOKIYAR but a stench in the nose of God otherwise.

  • notanncoulter

    He needs to address the important questions of the day, like…
    CAN you buy Grey Poupon with food stamps?

  • dcjdjay

    Male models on welfare, however, are exempted from Scott's indignation.

  • BZ1

    Milady doth protests too much, me thinks

  • Betty

    Yo dumb ass must not know the statistics on the real welfare recipients you dumb ass whore white people are the top receivers of welfare you ignorant bitch

Previous articleAmerica’s Dad, Joe Walsh, Has Some Fatherly Advice For Barack Obama
Next articleExclusive NYT Interview Indicates That Undecided Voters May Despise Politics Entirely