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Romney Spokeslady: Move To Romney’s Socialist Massachusetts Paradise If You Want To Live

Seems like a nice lady, glad she doesn't have to worry about losing her health insuranceSo you probably haven’t seen it if you aren’t in one of America’s precious, coddled Swing States, but a pro-Obama PAC has been running a mean ad featuring a guy who was laid off because Bain Capital made the business he worked for more efficient, and he says that his wife died because they didn’t have health insurance because he was laid off because Bain Capital thought that would be a good idea. You might think this is mean and unfair and don’t hate the specific corporate player hate the employer-based health-care system game etc., but surely when an ad is going out that basically has a blue-collar dude saying “MITT ROMNEY KILLED MY WIFE” the Romney campaign has to respond somehow, right? Well they did, actually, and they did actually respond with legitimately good advice! This advice was: people who need good health care should move to Massachusetts, because they have universal coverage there, thanks to Governor Romney. Wait, what?

Andrea Saul is a Romney campaign flack, so she may well live in Massachusetts! Which is good for her because her chances of being fired just went up dramatically, so it would suck if she had some sort of pre-existing condition that would prevent her from buying health insurance on the individual market in every other state in the union. She’s probably pretty aware of this point, which is why, in reacting to the aforementioned campaign ad about that guy’s wife dying of cancer, she said this:

To that point, if people had been in Massachusetts, under Gov. Romney’s health care plan, they would have had health care.

She said it on Fox News, even, which, haha, whoops! And now all the right-wingers are having a freakout. Erick Erickson said “OMG. This might just be the moment Mitt Romney lost the election.” (Don’t take it too personally, Andrea, Erick Erickson flips out and OMGs about things constantly, he’ll have forgotten about this in a week.)

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Mitt Romney has of course pledged to grant every state a waiver on the health care law on his first day in office (it’s neat, how the president can just tell states they don’t have to obey laws they dislike!). Of course, he also told a Reuters reporter that health care needs reform and “I have some experience doing that.” You guys, what if … what if Romney repeals Obamacare but then replaces it with Romneycare, which is exactly the same except the word “Obama” is replaced wit “Romney”? Oh, Mittens, you crafty devil! [TPM]

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About the author

Josh was born and raised in Buffalo, New York, leaving him with a love of chicken wings and a tendency to say “pop”. He taught ancient Greek and Roman history to undergraduates before fleeing from academia in terror; worked for a failed San Francisco dot-com that neglected to supply him with stock options or an Aeron chair; lived in Berlin, where he mostly ate Indian and Ethiopian food; finished in third place on his sole Jeopardy! appearance (the correct answer was “Golda Meir”); and was named 2007 Blogger of the Year by The Week, for obvious reasons. Josh is the creator/editor of COMICS CURMUDGEON (which you should read) and does geeky editing and writing about geeky things such as "the Java programming industry for JavaWorld." He lives in Baltimore with his wife Amber and his cat Hoagie.

View all articles by Josh Fruhlinger

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181 comments

  1. Designer_Rants

    I think Mitt Romney retroactively killed my goldfish. Wish I lived in Taxachusetts, where Romney's left-wing Rules For Radicals social engineering would make it so it's impossible to not have a perfect life.

    1. ph7

      Yes, and a nice trust to pay for people to ride it and board it and groom it for you, as part of your therapy.

    1. ph7

      She likes to take long walks on Cape Cod beaches, and snuggling up to watch Atlas Shrugged in front of the fireplace. She is equally comfortable in blue jeans and SS uniforms.

      1. HistoriCat

        She is equally comfortable in blue jeans and SS uniforms.

        But does she know how to handle a whip?

          1. arduinohacker

            At least when Marlon Brando puffed up his cheeks to play the Godfather, he did it with some Kleenexes. This broad seems to have done it with a couple golf-balls.

        1. ph7

          It also appears she had her chin rounded. Maybe Mitt paid for that. Maybe she's one of his secret wives.

  2. Come here a minute

    Romney campaign spokeswoman Andrea Saul went on to add that if the steelworker, Joe Soptic, and his wife had lived in Canada, or one of dozens of other civilized (and some not-so-civilized) countries, preventive treatment that may have saved her life wouldn't have cost a nickel!

    1. emmelemm

      "If you don't like our fucked up health care system that kills and bankrupts sick people, but makes insurance company CEOs rich, move to another country, damnit!"

      Love it or leave it argle bargle flargle…

  3. gullywompr

    Pledging to grant every state a waiver on the health care law on his first day in office is just the first step. Next step is to allow individual persons (ie. Bain Capital) to opt out.

  4. Billmatic

    It's sad when Michelle Bachmann is more politically consistent than the candidate for president.

    1. kittensdontlie

      Saul had previously worked on the following campaigns:
      John McCain–Lost.
      Charlie Crist–Lost.
      Carly Fiorina–Lost.
      There seems to be a pattern here…is she a Dem operative??!

  5. BaldarTFlagass

    "…what if Romney repeals Obamacare but then replaces it with Romneycare, which is exactly the same except the word “Obama” is replaced with “Romney”?

    Ya know what? I could live with that.

  6. Callyson

    people who need good health care should move to Massachusetts

    Yeah, because it's so easy to sell your house (who the fuck is getting a mortgage with the asshole bankers not lending to anyone?), leave your extended family and friends, and go live in a place where you may have zero contacts, personal or professional.

    Assholes.

    1. Geminisunmars

      And it's cold. And they speak funny. And, despite having a reputation of being a liberal state, they vote in Romenys and Scott Browns.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        That's my extended family doing that stupid voting-in-Republicans shit. I'm headed up there for a visit next week, I'll try to get them in line but it's never worked before.

        1. Geminisunmars

          Might as well save your breath and sanity. But I've learned that nothing pisses off the rabid rightwing relatives like maintaining a state of zenlike calm through all conversations.

          1. Nothingisamiss

            I'm planning on mind altering substances this weekend to help me with my zenlike calm of the family hivemind.

      2. actor212

        In fairness, once you leave Boston…and frankly, who would?…the state is about as blue as a red sky on a red planet in a red solar system

    2. BaldarTFlagass

      Both the paternal and maternal branches of the Flagass family reside in Massachusetts, but I would still rather jack off a mad lion than move back up there. I'm not Roald fucking Amundsen, they can keep that cold-ass weather.

    1. LetUsBray

      And then she mused, "You know, it does look kind of like he's hiding something by not releasing his tax returns. Something bad."

      1. NellCote71

        Yeah, she joked. Even with Daddy's trust fund, my tax rate is higher than his. How does that work?

  7. actor212

    Yes, if you lose your job and don't have health insurance, just hock your mom and move to Massachussetts and everything will be all better…

    …until we run out of room for the 100 million or so of you. Everyone line up! Single file please and have your urine sample ready and papers proving you're descended from the Mayflower!

  8. BaldarTFlagass

    It would really be funny if Mitt wins the election and after being administered the oath of office, tears off his mask a la Mission:Impossible or Scooby Doo, and reveals that he's Barack Obama's twin brother. That would be pretty funny.

  9. Callyson

    Another RedState editor, Dan McLaughlin, wrote…What conservatives are doing re Andrea Saul's comment is the same as how you housebreak your dog. Romney needs to know not to go there.

    Glad to see that even they can see that Mittens is full of shit…

      1. Baconzgood

        You need a flow chart to know what Mitt is for/against on any given day. And it would be more confusing than the Inca calander.

  10. Estproph

    As a Masshole, I should say that I am OK with Romneycare. So OK with it in fact, that I think it should be a jumping off point for single-payer for the entire US.

  11. CrunchyKnee

    Soes, I kin become a Southie and eat hoodsies all day, not having to worry? Retaaarded cool!

    1. mrpuma2u

      Yes hoodsies, cuz if mittens wins, there will be no "lobstah dinnah by the harbah, with chowdah and steemahs" for any commoners.

    2. SmutBoffin

      Then everyone can go to the Government Center! I still don't really know what that is, but let's presume it is just Jonathan Richman's summer home.

  12. SmutBoffin

    No issues- or policy-based fuckup can cost Mitt Romney the election. The election (from the perspective of one side, at least) is about nonspecific or misinformed outrage.

  13. SorosBot

    Sure Bain may have killed a few people, but it's all worth it in pursuit of corporate profits.

    1. Biff

      Shrub once famously said "sometimes profit trumps peace." Looks kinda fucked up embroidered on a pillow, so turdblossom had it scrubbed.

    2. rickmaci

      Collateral damage in the fight to secure the total freedom of corporations from any civic obligations.

  14. Goonemeritus

    I will be attempting to insert this latest argument into my logic diagram which captures other Republican arguments this election cycle. In preparation I will be blowing bubbles into a bottle of Rebel Yell Bourbon and eating paste to be in the most syncopathic frame of mind

  15. Steverino247

    This Mitt Romney campaign is starting to resemble a Bugs Bunny cartoon. You know, Bugs says one thing until Daffy Duck gets so used to saying he doesn't notice when Bugs reverses it. "I do want you to slap my bill off my face!" "Oh Kayyyy" SMACK!

    That or Mitt can't keep his lies straight anymore…

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        "Conthequences, schmonthequences — ath long ath I'm rich!!!"

        There's the moral compass of the Millionaires for Mitt.

  16. Serolf_Divad

    What if Mitt Romney replaces Obamacare with Romneycare? Well, I'll tell you what: the AEI, National Review, Cato Institute and Tea Party will hail it as the greatest thing since sliced bread, and only Ron Paul and Reason magazine will holler "Socialist Despotism!"

  17. RadioBowels

    Oh Zeus, Right Wing Radio has been in a lather over that ad for the last two days. And I must admit it was maudlin, inflammatory and baseless. Other than Andrea Saul Alinsky sticking her foot in her mouth, what good could come out of such stupidity?

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      You gotta remember, it's targeted at the dumbasses who are considering voting for Mitt.

      1. RadioBowels

        I know the wingfucks do this shit all the time. But it doesn't make it right. I now you have to fight fire with fire, but this ad was so far-fetched in its premise, i.e. Mitts somehow caused the lady to die of cancer, that I felt uncomfortable.

          1. RadioBowels

            In over his head, community organizer, teleprompters, Chicago style politics, baby killer, 150 rounds of golf, a failure….the list is interminable.
            I hate them fuckers with the heat of a thousand suns, but there is a thousand ways to skin this cat and I don't agree with this simpleton, debased misrepresentation. Sorry I have an opinion.

        1. not that Dewey

          It's not so much that Mittens killed this lady. The emphasis is on his amoral capitalistic opportunism that drives him to liquidate companies and maximize his wealth, regardless of consequences. I mean, he knows the consequences, he either chooses not to mind, or he actually relishes the idea of impoverishing people. He is at best apathetic to the plight of this lady, at worst antipathetic. To a sociopath like Mitt, the company's demise is a trophy, a symbolic victory over all those losers who can't even afford their own medical treatment. The ad is a very effective polemic.

          Or something.

          1. Biel_ze_Bubba

            It's similar to how Mitt likes to fire people. Even in context, the word he used is "like". Business owners, when forced by circumstance to fire people, will generally do it — but not many would tell you they like it.

          2. RadioBowels

            Dewey, I agree with what you say; then why didn't they just say that? Maybe it was just a trial balloon to look for a Willie Horton, Swift Boat moment?

          3. not that Dewey

            I was listening to El Rushbo this morning, and he is absolutely APOPLECTIC about this ad. He couldn't even speak.

            [sly grin]

            Strong work, Priorities USA.

        2. Negropolis

          As long as you're still comfortable enough to vote for Obama, I couldn't care how dirty this makes you feel.

  18. Weenus299

    "it’s neat, how the president can just tell states they don’t have to obey laws they dislike!"

    - Like Presidential nullification. "Hey, all those federal and constitutional laws I take an oath to uphold and defend? Don't obey them!"

  19. elviouslyqueer

    Just for comparison's sake, I would like to offer a few other twats from @Ewick Ewickson:

    OMG. So cold today. This might just cause my pee-pee to turtle.

    OMG. Too much Mexican last night. This might just be the moment I have a really stinky poop.

    OMG. Girlfriend moved out. This might just be the moment I give myself the perfect handjob. Wow.

  20. Jus_Wonderin

    I am getting really, really confused by this stuff. Is it me, a stroke or people talking out of all holes of their body?

    1. BerkeleyBear

      I bet most places outside of the Chicago are swimming in them out of the St. Louis, Indiana and even Iowa markets, but lucky you. If Michigan is in play, though, you might get subjected to some bought in Chicago to cover West Michigan, aka Crazy Calvinist Compound.

    2. NellCote71

      Honey, nobody even bothers to come to Texas. I have to get my vicarious thrills from MSNBC.

  21. Extemporanus

    To that point, if people had been in Massachusetts, under Gov. Romney’s jobs plan, they would have had to plan on looking for a job.

  22. majicunderwear

    If Mitten's skills at running government are anything like his ability to direct his
    presidential campaign, then like Bush Jr. he is someone born on third base thinking that he has hit a triple.. Since the Republican party 's only measurement for an individuals success in life is wealth accumulated then this vapid automaton is their idea of a perfect candidate.

  23. Limeylizzie

    She obviously has dental insurance and a dentist who believes that "Size Does Matter".

  24. Mumbly_Joe

    Erick Erickson said “OMG. This might just be the moment Mitt Romney lost the election.” (Don’t take it too personally, Andrea, Erick Erickson flips out and OMGs about things constantly, he’ll have forgotten about this in a week.)

    Nonsense. Mitt Romney lost the election weeks ago.

    1. timbo71351

      If Mittens had brains and balls, he would pull a "Sista Souljah" and tell Ewick Ewickson to go fuck himself gently with a chainsaw.

      1. BerkeleyBear

        But he's running for President, for Pete's sake! So far, the closest thing to such a moment he's had is telling black people he won't give them anything – which is probably as close as he will get to it.

        1. NellCote71

          And letting Paul Ryan tell us olds we aren't getting anything either, so he won't have to.

  25. Sir_Fartz_Alot

    he will secretly replace obamacare with folgers crystals and you wont know the difference

  26. pinkocommi

    "Mitt Romney has of course pledged to grant every state a waiver on the health care law on his first day in office . . . ."

    Let's play this out…. Blue states choose to keep Obamacare. Red states don't. Which means that Blue state citizens get good healthcare and Red state citizens don't. Which means that Red state citizens die off at higher rates, most of them pleased with themselves for living out their principles without that terrible "socialized" health care, causing a major demographic shift toward Blue voters…. Could be the best fucking thing that has ever happened to this country….

    (except for the totally innocent, poor people dying without healthcare in the meantime, that is).

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        Where uninsured people are getting their health care, at taxpayer expense. I've never quite figured out how doing it the more expensive way makes it not socialized medicine … but that's true of most teabagger thinking.

  27. ttommyunger

    Proof that even if professional liars talk constantly 24/7 the truth will occasionally slip out in spite of their best efforts.

  28. chicken_thief

    Word has it that Mittens only keeps Andrea Saul around because she reminds him of his dad's good buddy, Saul Alinsky.

  29. LetUsBray

    Erick son of Erick should buck up. Willard and/or his campaign do or say something that by all rights should cost the election at least two or three times a day. Hasn't finished 'em off yet. The electorate is just that messed up.

    1. NellCote71

      The electorate being those allowed to vote after they disqualify all potential Democrats?

    2. Biel_ze_Bubba

      You've got the hopeless 30% who will vote for zombie Hitler before voting for Obama, so the real battle is over the 20% or so who haven't been paying attention.

      The Dems and their superPAC supporters should spend as much as possible on voter registration … it would be great to see people get so pissed off at voter suppression efforts that there's a net increase in minority/poor voting.

  30. DustBowlBlues

    Holy fuck, just read this and already there are over 100 responses. I'm too busy for this shit, so I'm moving on. Fast. Cheers!

  31. sullivanst

    Is it just me, or did Andrea Saul just neatly highlight precisely the reason that States are not able to effectively regulate healthcare by themselves, because savings gained from reforms like Massachusetts' are often more than cancelled out by the inward migration of sick out-of-staters?

    I seem to recall that precisely this argument was included in the Supreme Court opinion upholding the ACA.

  32. rocktonsam

    Do the morning meetings begin with Mitten$ walking in late and telling his staff,"alright people, tell me what I what to hear!"

  33. a_pink_poodle

    But everyone drives like crap there! I should know, I encountered a Massachusetts driver in the Seattle area a while ago. That's how bad he was; he got lost and somehow winded up on the other side of the country, changing lanes every 5 seconds at 15 miles an hour because he can't decide whether he wants to go front or right.

  34. tessiee

    You guys, what if … what if Romney repeals Obamacare but then replaces it with Romneycare, which is exactly the same except the word “Obama” is replaced wit “Romney”?"

    He would be hailed by all as a genius and a savior, and we'd all have to hear about it 24/7.
    I haz a disgust.

  35. Mumbly_Joe

    AH-hahahahahahaha. "OMG", to quote Erick son of Erick.

    This Balloon Juice helped me just realize something. Something awesome.

    Mitt Romney's campaign just took a stick to the hornet's nest that is his base. They're suddenly super-pissed, on the eve of the VP announcement that isn't actually going to distract from talking about his taxes.

    Now, he basically has no choice but to pick a wingnut veep.

    Get ready for Going Rogue, Part Two: Going Roguer, Electric Boogaloo: the Roguening, Return of the Rogue, with a Vengeance.

    (It's also possible that this was the plan all along and this was an intentional trial balloon for a more "moderate" pick, but that's giving the the Romney campaign far more credit than they deserve at this point)

  36. mosjef

    Mitt denounces all actions taken by the governor of Massachusetts while he was governor of Massachusetts.

  37. arihaya

    Clearly Andrea Saul is a turncoat.

    She betrayed Rmoney the moment she saw oppo research files that read "Barrack HUSSEIN Obama has a huge dick."

  38. IceCreamEmpress

    Jesus wept, Romney taking credit for Massachusetts health care reform is like when my littlest goddaughter thinks she's driving the car a la Maggie Simpson.

    I mean, I like when it happens because it makes his base hate him, but what a Mitt this guy is.

  39. Negropolis

    OMG! Andrea Saul…told the fuckin' truth! Heads must roll in the Romney campaign because of this.

    1. Negropolis

      And here I was thinking the difference was that the Bahstin Steemah came with more Santorum…errr…."chowder."

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