NO APOLOGIES  12:15 pm August 8, 2012

Mitt Romney More Reaganesque Than Previously Realized

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

RomneyesqueReaganesque? Ol’ Mittens? The Man With the Golden Tongue? Sure, he’s got the hair, and the complete lack of devotion to anything resembling fact or verifiable truth, but really, Reaganesque? Yes, Mitt Romney is “Reaganesque,” by which we mean “balls-deep in murdering nuns and Latin American death squads.”

Now wait a minute, you are thinking, that is a little far-fetched, tying Mitt Romney’s Bain Capital to rightwing Latin American death squads, the kind that raped and killed American nuns, murdered an archbishop in his pulpit, and filled mass graves with the bodies of their political enemies right on the grounds of the US Embassy in Honduras. Yeah, unfortunately, it apparently is not far-fetched at all.

HuffPo brings it, in about a thousand paragraphs tying together previous reporting from the LA Times and the Boston Globe that show Romney went to Salvadorean founding families for the initial startup funds for his precious Bain. And those Salvadorean families had directly financed (or even pulled the goddamn triggers themselves) assassinations of leftwing activists in Guatemala, in just one tiny example from HuffPo’s smorgasbord of Bain-related Death and Terrorism.

In 1990, Orlando de Sola, [Roberto] D’Aubuisson and founding Bain investor Francisco de Sola allegedly assassinated two left-wing activists then in Guatemala, according to a report by that country’s government, which cited its intelligence sources. The activists had just held a meeting with then-Sen. Chris Dodd (D-Conn.), who was attempting to broker a Salvadoran peace deal.

Francisco de Sola later pleaded his and his cousin Orlando’s innocence to the U.S. ambassador. The Inter-American Commission on Human Rights looked further into the killings and concluded that elements of the Salvadoran right were indeed the mostly likely assassins, but said that it couldn’t confirm the guilt of the de Solas or D’Aubuisson. It deemed the investigation incomplete and called for a deeper look. The three men were never charged.

Francisco de Sola is now president of the Salvadoran Foundation for Economic and Social Development. His assistant, Ada Chang, said that he was traveling and unavailable to comment, but she confirmed to HuffPost that he had been accused of murdering the two leftists in 1990.

There’s ever so much more over at HuffPo. For further reading, if you’d like to find yourself in an Internet black hole, may we suggest googling such fun phrases as “Battalion 316,” “contras murder nuns,” “John Negroponte” and “Roberto D’Aubuisson.” We guarantee a good time will be had by all, or at least a weepathon and massive shame stroke.

So, these are the people Mitt Romney tapped for the initial funds for his small-business startup. So what? Who cares? You can’t fight Communism or found Bain Capital without breaking a few eggs, all right? And by “eggs,” of course, we mean “human skulls.”

Anyway, according to Mitt Romney — and in fact we are not kidding — the rightwing death squads and torture in Central America throughout the ’80s were not directed by Roberto D’Aubuisson and his ARENA party, funded by pretty much all Mitt Romney’s initial Bain investors, but instead were all Fidel Castro’s fault.

Romney, however, has shown no public remorse for signing up such investors, although the concept of culpability is not foreign to him. When he returned to Miami in 2007, he condemned those who had financed torture and other human rights abuses during the Salvadoran civil war — just not those he was connected to.

“These friends didn’t just help me; they taught me,” Romney said. “Ricardo’s brother had been tortured and murdered by rebel terrorists in El Salvador. Miguel himself had been chained to a floor in Guatemala for weeks and tortured. And their torturers were financed by Fidel Castro. I learned from these friends about the human cost when Castro has money.”

You have to admire … haha, no. No you don’t.

[HuffPo]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 135 comments }

ChernobylSoup August 8, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Your move, Bill Donohue.

actor212 August 8, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Well, nuns killed by Republicans, different story!

eggsacklywright August 8, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Like shooting penguins in a barrel.

SexySmurf August 8, 2012 at 12:18 pm

"I like being able to fire on people."

-Francisco de Sola

BaldarTFlagass August 8, 2012 at 12:19 pm

You know who else profited from a civil war amongst Spanish-speaking people?

ChernobylSoup August 8, 2012 at 12:21 pm

The producers of Evita?

UnholyMoses August 8, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Teddy Roosevelt?

Schmannnity August 8, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Hemingway?

Blueb4sinrise August 8, 2012 at 12:29 pm

dern…………

Tequila Mockingbird August 8, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Andrew Lloyd Webber?

Blueb4sinrise August 8, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Hemingway?

mlle_derp August 8, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Polygamous Mormons?

Biff August 8, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Don't bring up Mountain Meadows!

GemlikeFlame August 8, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Again.

actor212 August 8, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Andres Cantooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooor?

RadioBowels August 8, 2012 at 12:26 pm

The United States of America?

SorosBot August 8, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Woody Allen?

mlle_derp August 8, 2012 at 12:27 pm
Schmannnity August 8, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Ayatollah Khomeini through the Sandanistas?

WhatTheHeck August 8, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Cohiba cigars

MinAgain August 8, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Oliver North?

elviouslyqueer August 8, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Madonna?

Jus_Wonderin August 8, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Marvin Hamlish?

Estproph August 8, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Goya Foods, Inc.?

RadioBowels August 8, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Y también, United Fruit.

Schmannnity August 8, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Leonard Bernstein and the cast of West Side Story?

fartknocker August 8, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Smith & Wesson?

eggsacklywright August 8, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Eric Holder.

MissTaken August 8, 2012 at 12:32 pm
SorosBot August 8, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Van Halen?

RadioBowels August 8, 2012 at 12:37 pm

The Luftwaffe?

Steverino247 August 8, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Fuck, where do you start? Who didn't?

chicken_thief August 8, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Quentin Cooke?

JustPixelz August 8, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Al Pacino?

James Michael Curley August 8, 2012 at 2:20 pm

American Idol?

arihaya August 8, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Sultanate of Sulu ?

One_who_wanders August 8, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Just when I think Romney Hood couldn't get any worse another snake crawls out of the woodpile. I liked him better as a somewhat smarter Bush II with a funny religion.

smitallica August 8, 2012 at 2:52 pm

I agree with you up to "funny religion."
Mormonism is not funny. It's terrifying.

nounverb911 August 8, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Romney has Alzheimer's?

PubOption August 8, 2012 at 3:14 pm

He's certainly good at forgetting things.

Schmannnity August 8, 2012 at 12:20 pm

So if your parents won't loan you $10,000 to start a business, apply for a loan from a right-wing death squad.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 August 9, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Good idea….since they tend to seize the assets of people they've murdered (hilarious how wingnuts conflate that with taxation in their Hitler loved sugar therefore arguments…they are so, so stupid) they're swimming in cash looking for a completely sociopathic twat to launder their money. Mittens was in the right place and right time to get tons of blood of pacifist cash for freedumz.

actor212 August 8, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Oh dear. I fear that might leave a mark.

UnholyMoses August 8, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Romney went to Salvadorean founding families for the initial startup funds for his precious Bain.

Yeah, but he doesn't recall any of it.

edgydrifter August 8, 2012 at 12:21 pm

To the folks who cherish Ronnie, murdering leftists in some faraway sweaty brown country is something to boast about. This will probably boost Mitt's approval rating by 5%.

supernoun August 8, 2012 at 12:29 pm

This is true.

elviouslyqueer August 8, 2012 at 12:30 pm

No shit. Because leftists=libruls=commies=fags=Obummer. Or so I've heard.

mlle_derp August 8, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Amongst those already planning to vote for the white guy.

Tequila Mockingbird August 8, 2012 at 12:21 pm

What's the Mormon Church's stance on ketchup, psychics and jelly beans?

ChernobylSoup August 8, 2012 at 12:27 pm

As long as the ketchup's not caffeinated and the jelly beans are straight (as if), they're okay. Since their religion is based on the ramblings of a psychic, I reckon that's alright too.

supernoun August 8, 2012 at 12:30 pm

for, against, for

actor212 August 8, 2012 at 12:22 pm

So Mitt Romney's Bain Capital was financed by nun-killing terrorists, huh?

Probably good practice for running as a Republican.

LastGasp August 8, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Yep, Reagan was just the kind of ill-informed half-wit who'd probably say "sheik" when he was talking about the Sikh religion.

BaldarTFlagass August 8, 2012 at 12:24 pm

"I learned from these friends about the human cost when Castro has money.”

Yeah, Mitt, but what about the human cost when you manage money?

UnholyMoses August 8, 2012 at 12:26 pm

So … a candidate for Prez who just very well might wind up the leader of the free world has a history of avoiding taxes, bullying, paling around with murderers, lying to the government, fucking up a private meeting with one of the world's top intelligence agencies, insulting one of our closest allies, not understanding the nations he visits, lacking anything resembling empathy, opposing laws he signed into law, being a racist, and following a religion many view as a cult.

Maybe it's just me, but if Obama doesn't win by, oh, say 200 electoral votes, Obama is either the worst campaigner in the history of forever, or our nation is a LOT more fucked than I ever imagined.

HistoriCat August 8, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Let's face it – if Mitt wins, the country deserves exactly what will happen to it.

deanbooth August 8, 2012 at 8:22 pm

The country, maybe, but not the people who vote against him.

Pragmatist2 August 8, 2012 at 12:27 pm

One rarely sees "balls deep" in the same sentence as "nuns."

MacRaith August 8, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Depends on what kind of literature you read… Um, I mean, that's certainly true!

Serolf_Divad August 8, 2012 at 12:45 pm

You and I must rent from different video stores.

Boojum August 8, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Yes, that's usually coupled with priests and boys.

SorosBot August 8, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Yes, but the Salvadorian death squads were the good kind of terrorists, like the Contras or the Taliban and Osama bin Laden when they were fighting the Soviets.

MissTaken August 8, 2012 at 12:33 pm

and Saddam Hussein when he fought Iran

SorosBot August 8, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Chemical weapons were perfectly OK used when used on the Iranians.

mrpuma2u August 8, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Yes and Ronny Raygun told us that the contras were the "moral equivlent of our founding fathers" so it must be true.

Lascauxcaveman August 8, 2012 at 12:47 pm

They were! Sure, they were raping and murdering nuns, but they were raping and murdering nuns for the same reason Washington, Jefferson and Adams were raping and murdering nuns.

Fukui-sanYesOta August 8, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Washington never denied murdering and raping that nun in 1770.

freakishlywrong August 8, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Borrowing from right-wing death squads is not very boot-strappy.

Fukui-sanYesOta August 8, 2012 at 12:35 pm

He'll be touting it at the debates.

"If you're on welfare and can't find a job, just borrow nine million dollars from unsavory ex-pat murderers and start a little business!"

freakishlywrong August 8, 2012 at 12:49 pm

"My friends!" *Hatelaugh*

TootsStansbury August 8, 2012 at 1:10 pm

No but it's jack-booty so it's all good.

RadioBowels August 8, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Death squads are people too my friend.

supernoun August 8, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Mitt's totally Pro-Business, as long as your business includes killing leftists and nuns!

MacRaith August 8, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Which isn't a great business model, considering the limited and steadily diminishing stock of leftist nuns in the world.

BaldarTFlagass August 8, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Well, it's difficult for them to reproduce.

eggsacklywright August 8, 2012 at 12:30 pm

What will the bigots do when they find out Mittz was aligned with United Fruit?

MinAgain August 8, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Mittens, you've got some 'splaining to do.

Beowoof August 8, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Those tax dollars went full circle, from purchasing the arms sold to Iran, who paid the cash to Central American right wing rebels to Mitt Rmoney to start his little investment house. Another sneaky republican raid the treasury and tell everyone they are fighting for democracy.

GunToting[Redacted] August 8, 2012 at 1:42 pm

It's a little more complex than the standard current model (proles pay taxes to Government, Gov gives munnies in subsidies and contracts to big multinational conglomerates). Extra points for creativity.

WhatTheHeck August 8, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Bain (Blood money) Capital.

Fukui-sanYesOta August 8, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Bain was also a major investor in Los Pollos Hermanos.

metamarcisf August 8, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Romney – Fring 2012

RadioBowels August 8, 2012 at 12:33 pm

If only we had a commentor who could bring the heavy snark due to his expertise in this region.

Spurning Beer August 8, 2012 at 1:07 pm

I thought User of Owls was a Hooters expert.

mrpuma2u August 8, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Elitist sugar daddies of right wing death squads are people too my friend!

BaldarTFlagass August 8, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Why didn't Mitt drive down there to meet them? I understand that it only takes two days.

HistoriCat August 8, 2012 at 2:47 pm

You have to factor in extra time for hosing the roof off every time the dog shits in terror.

widestanceromance August 8, 2012 at 12:36 pm

I think of Willard as more of a mentally reaganed amoral cash jackal, because 'Reaganesque' sounds too French-leaning.

Callyson August 8, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Mittens' own people can't even effectively defend their candidate from this crap:

a spokeswoman forwarded a 1999 Salt Lake Tribune article to explain the campaign's position on the matter. She declined to comment further…the Tribune article referred to by the Romney campaign reports that "about $6.5 million of $37 million that established the company came from wealthy El Salvadoran families linked to right-wing death squads."

But let's talk about the important issue: why won't Obama release his college transcript?

MacRaith August 8, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Oh, so not ALL the money came from right-wing death squads. Therefore none of it did.

Gleem McShineys August 8, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Hello, future PolitiFact employee!

hagajim August 8, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Its called Bain because Bain rhymes with maim and they didn't think they could get away with either Burder Capital or Massassinate Capital.

SorosBot August 8, 2012 at 12:39 pm

You really shouldn't trust those Contras; I heard they like to cheat and use the Konami code to get thirty lives.

Biff August 8, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Not big on paying their fair share of taxes either, I hear.

Blueb4sinrise August 8, 2012 at 12:41 pm

What's the Politifact rating on this?

Fukui-sanYesOta August 8, 2012 at 12:43 pm

"Dead in a mass grave"

It's a new rating, I think.

BarackMyWorld August 8, 2012 at 12:46 pm

"Village on Fire."

GunToting[Redacted] August 8, 2012 at 1:44 pm

We had to burn the story to save it.

BaldarTFlagass August 8, 2012 at 12:42 pm

I wonder what Oliver Stone and James Woods think about this.

Jus_Wonderin August 8, 2012 at 12:44 pm

My buddy, works for AAirlines (27 years), told me that Bain is involved in their bankruptsy proceedings. We commiserated together over some vodka. Plenty of vodka.

SmutBoffin August 8, 2012 at 12:45 pm

"Behind every great fortune there is a great crime."

BaldarTFlagass August 8, 2012 at 12:48 pm

It's okay, just so long as he didn't take any money from Muslims.

MosesInvests August 8, 2012 at 3:54 pm

That was never a problem for the Bush family.

TheGyrus August 8, 2012 at 12:48 pm

"Palling around with Salvadorian Death Squads" has a certain ring to it.

BarackMyWorld August 8, 2012 at 12:49 pm

At least Mitt didn't serve on a nonprofit board with a guy who was part of a group that blew up a Pentagon bathroom.

weejee August 8, 2012 at 12:49 pm

♪♫ The Bain in New Spain works just to give some pain,
By Jove! Mitt's got it! ♫♪

MissTaken August 8, 2012 at 12:49 pm

I really don't miss the proxy Cold War wars. Can we go back to teh buttsechs now?

One_who_wanders August 8, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Rum, Sodomy and the Lash, please!

proudgrampa August 8, 2012 at 12:50 pm

I can't understand how the Republicans would decide that Romney will still be their candidate in the upcoming convention. You'd think they would realize what an asshole he is and have some sort of brokered deal to name another candidate.

This is like watching the lemmings march to the ocean.

MacRaith August 8, 2012 at 12:54 pm

So our choices are to watch the Republicans march in lockstep off a cliff, or watch their convention explode in a ball of fire that would be visible all the way to Galveston?

I'm sensing a win-win situation here.

Fraudulently_Joe August 8, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Now wait a minute, you are thinking, that is a little far-fetched, tying Mitt Romney’s Bain Capital to rightwing Latin American death squads, the kind that raped and killed American nuns, murdered an archbishop in his pulpit, and filled mass graves with the bodies of their political enemies right on the grounds of the US Embassy in Honduras.

Unless you're familiar with a little company called "Coca-Cola", or, alternatively the entire flower industry.

chicken_thief August 8, 2012 at 1:01 pm

The reporting is all well and good, but his attorney said that Mitt retro-actively did not take money from the murderers. So all is cool now.

GunToting[Redacted] August 8, 2012 at 1:45 pm

I'm pretty sure the murderers retroactively de-murdered their victims, so we're double cool!

barto August 8, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Mitt (R-Money) also resembles the Gipper in that they both have the Teflon thing goin' on, except in Mitt's case nothing sticks inside his skull for more than a day or two.

JustPixelz August 8, 2012 at 1:09 pm

The so-called "Great Communicator" can't hold a candle to Romney. Mitt Romney communicates more with his body language, an off-hand "ha ha ha ha", or a Swiss bank statement, than Ronald Reagan could with 250 million words.

viennawoods13 August 8, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Maybe it would have been a better idea to hold the opposition fire until after the GOP convention. If they decide to dump him and go with someone else, there goes all this lovely ammo (with VOTES!!) that could have been used in October.

SoBeach August 8, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Not to worry. Anyone they could replace Romney with would be an even more target rich environment than Romney.

bikerlaureate August 8, 2012 at 1:44 pm

It seems likely that the President's campaign staff is saving the really juicy ammo for later.

GunToting[Redacted] August 8, 2012 at 1:46 pm

I've thought about this a little. If this is the ammo dump the Dems are doing now, I have to imagine that they have some REALLY large caliber votes stored up for October.

Biff August 8, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Just this morning I heard Rmoney whinging about "unfunded mandates", blissfully unaware that his hero raygun pretty much single-handedly created the term and the conditions that brought them into being.

dennis1943 August 8, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Coffin,meet nail……………..

Monsieur_Grumpe August 8, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Mittens is dead? This explains much.

annettaj August 8, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Damn Mittens, murdered nuns, death squads. Is there a forgive me card for that shit?

HistoriCat August 8, 2012 at 2:51 pm

It's OK – he baptized them, so they can all be his wives on his planet.

Badonkadonkette August 8, 2012 at 1:39 pm

founding Bain investor Francisco de Sola allegedly assassinated two left-wing activists then in Guatemala, according to a report by that country’s government, which cited its intelligence sources. The activists had just held a meeting with then-Sen. Chris Dodd (D-Conn.), who was attempting to broker a Salvadoran peace deal.

BigGovernment headline: Dems Worked with Central-American Death Squads

fuflans August 8, 2012 at 2:08 pm

please. this doesn't matter. these people were brown.

kittensdontlie August 8, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Although most were stunned by Mittoid's (rhymes with hemoirrhoids) Reaganesque(rhymes with burlesque) qualities, famous W-teer coolhandnuke alone caught Mittens muttering at the Western Wall:

"Tear down that wall Mr. Netanyahu!"

How prescient!
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

imissopus August 8, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Yeah, but SOLYNDRA! FAST AND FURIOUS! 57 STATES! ARGLE BARGLE DERP!

smitallica August 8, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Of course he likes Reagan.
Mormons convert people after they die to be Mormons.
And the right wing converted Reagan after he died to be a good president.

DahBoner August 8, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Can't wait to read Mitt's upcoming book:

How You Can Make Millions And Pay Zero Taxes By Staying Home And Drinking Decaf Coffee!!!

ttommyunger August 8, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Oh please, Mittens would never involve himself in such things….directly.

TribecaMike August 8, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Betcha Reagan has more Pussy Riot songs on his iPod than Mittens does.

mr bojangles August 8, 2012 at 6:24 pm

mitt loves the smell of napalm in the morning!

Biel_ze_Bubba August 8, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Mitt announced today that he had retroactively returned de Sola's and D’Aubuisson's money.

Guppy August 8, 2012 at 8:22 pm

Romneycare Death Panels!

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