PolitiFact is taking a break from getting yelled at by Twitter to examine a new Bill Nelson attack ad against Connie Mack XXIII, in Florida! And since it is in Florida, it involves lots of road rage, and altercations, and boozy brawling, and boobs. In addition, it involves Hooters Girls.
First let us watch Bill Nelson’s mean old ad, together!
Haha, what a jerkface! But is the ad TRUE, PolitiFact? Is it FAIR? Well, apparently PolitiFact went back and read some Wonkette posts and determined, YES, it is true AND fair — but as always, there’s a caveat!
[The ad] echoes some online attacks by Mack’s Republican primary opponent George LeMieux, who dropped out of the race in June because of Mack’s overwhelming lead in the polls and fundraising.
LeMieux claimed that Mack’s only “real job in the real world” was an events coordinator for Hooters. We ruled that Mostly False because Mack had some additional private sector jobs including selling fitness equipment.
Man, these PolitiFacters and their nits, while ignoring the important question: what kind of fitness equipment, PolitiFact? Was it something awesome, like Soloflex, or was it that thing you hook over your door, that kills you? Probably that one, right? Maybe an Ab Rocket? ! But yeah, the Nelson ad, Mostly True, half a Pinocchio, whatever.
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Selling fitness equipment: For a Republican, that means he sold bondage gear to Michael Steele.
Someone please get Marcus a tissue or two. There appears to have been an accident.
He made a mistake in the parking lot.
IOKIYAR
Good thing Politifact doesn't make Louisiana pregnancy tests. Can you expel a girl who's "mostly pregnant?"
Dear friend, the easy answer is yes. If a girl is even 5% pregnant, she should be expelled. Also girls should be put on suspension during ovulation and their periods. Signed, Louisiana.
Well obviously they won't be in school when they're in the menstrual hut.
Connie Mack XXIII
IIIX eht noelopaN
Connie Mack wins on points.
He sold shake weights, for sure, which work the muscles he will use most as a Republican Senator.
Why did they name the place Hooters? You don't see women going to a restaurant called "Scrotum", do ya?
I'll have the dumplins'
I laughed SO hard imaging a restaurant named Dumplins'.
I used to threaten my kids with a trip to IHOG (International House of Guts), with such specials as The Nose-to-Tail Platter (you choose the animal, we serve up the entire "tube") and The Endless Viscera Bowl (all the entrails you can choke down).
In China, it's called "The American Owl Restaurant". Which makes you wonder what kind of wings you'll get there.
No but "Wrinkled limpdick" just opened a new franchise near here. The front door has a nice etched glass image of Rushbo snorting oxy off Brian Fisher's hairy bum. Very tasteful.
I would go there
They can if they want to
Haven't you seen the logo? It's named after owls!!!
Who?
Who's That Bi-i-iird/ Running Around With You? ♫
Sorry. I must be in an Annie Lennox mood this morning.
Bird is the word ♫
Owl be damned.
Whoooooooooot?
There was a C. O. Jones restaurant in Connecticut, I think, for a while. Until the unformatted name got discovered.
still there.
Moobs. Gotta nice ring to it. Fat white guys in spandex, yish.
Yish? YUM! Marcus Bachmann and I will be there in five minutes. Prepare thyselves.
That's sensible, since wouldn't such a place likely see too many ballroom brawls?
Nutsacks® is a purveyor of fine roasted nutmeats, served by Handsome Nutsack Boys™ who know you'll love our nuts! Stop by and juggle a couple of bags today! Bury Your Face In Our Sacks!™
"… It was signed by the hand of Ray Kock. My dad had done a little training lesson or whatever for Scrote's when there was just a handful of restaurants and I saw this thing and was like, this is a gold mine, dad! What are you doing?"
"You don't see women going to a restaurant called "Scrotum", do ya?"
Call it something cutesy like, "Hot Nuts" or "Sazeech", and hire a waitstaff of Chippendale's guys — and I am SO there!
This is Seattle, and we have bags of Dick's. http://www.ddir.com/
If it said Debt and Lines, it might make people more upset.
Just a suggestion.
Eat Mor Cok!
including selling fitness equipment.
Door-to-door Thighmaster, no doubt.
Body by Jerk
I used to work with a trainer who hated many of his co-workers, so when he'd see one of their clients, he'd refer to them as "Body by Jerkoff"
I was highly disappointed yet not nearly as nauseous when I clicked on the video and did NOT see Connie Mack in a slinky Hooter's waitress outfit.
Perhaps it would mitigate your disappointment to know that Connie isn't actually a girl?
No, that was part of my overall disappointment. Nothing delights yet disgusts me like Republican politicians in drag.
AMIRITE RUDY GIULIANI
By that logic it's Mostly False that Jared Loughner shot Gabby Giffords because he also shot a whole bunch of other people.
EDIT: Okay, I reread it and my analogy doesn't really work, so I'll mark this comment as Mostly True.
BITCH-SET-ME-UP LIBEL!
Ah, politifact…the place of inscrutible search for the truth that has reacted to hard right whining about "liberal bias" by ranking small fudges or essentially factual statements as equivolent to ridiculous bullshit right wing lie-spittle. You have to love an organization that ranks Obama's claim that RMoney was in-on pioneering outsourcing as being as much of a lie as "death panels"….THIS is exactly why I would never go into journalism, I'm tired of the spineless giving in to advance false equivolency arguments by right wingers.
So this boob
Hooters girls all wear those support "tan" pantyhose. Fuck, in the Floriduh heat, bitches could bake bread in there..
Eeuuuww-sounds yeasty.
You know this is just proof that the shit apple doesn't fall far from the shit tree.
Plus, that's a girl's name, dude.
If only I'd been into the whole brevity thing…
What do your friends call you, may I ask?
"Late for dinner."
(I have no friends…)
CONNIE HAWKINS LIBELZ!!!!
Cornelius McGillicutty?
… made money from boobs, and now wants to be elected by other boobs to serve in a house full of boobs? OK, then.
Boob libel!
Needs more boobs!
You're just assing for it!!!!
A tit for a tat.
Yeah well, considering that this is the outfit that gave its "lie of the year" award to the completely true statement that Paul Ryan's plan to destroy Social Security would destroy Social Security, I'm not really trusting their analyses.
Based entirely on speculation, unprovable assertion that Mitt Romney left Bain when he is now saying he did is TRUE.
Based entirely on speculation, unprovable claim that Harry Reid was told something by someone else is PANTS ON FIRE.
Keep chuckin' that fiction, political "fact-checker"-brand opinion columnists!
Someone should start a fact checker for the fact checkers.
Quis mendacium ipsos mendaces?
Or perhaps,
Quis Braccae in ignesem ipsos Braccae in igneses?
True…which placed that claim in the same position as death panels and the "government takeover of health care" from the previous years. You've got to hand it to Politifact…attaching the lie of the year to a claim that by disabling medicare from doing anything more than sending out a stipend check for a year's worth of private insurance that the intention was to invalidate and destroy medicare is a lie on the level of "death panels" takes a brass set of cajones. I won't be surprised to see them give the "Mitten's Bain Capital invested in companies that pioneered outsourcing" the same grade as Trump claiming Obama wasn't born but instead burst from a woman's chest Alien-style; it's keeping with their recent track record of ridiculous false equivolencies.
Bill Nelson's people should be able to do something very clever with that old "Mack the Knife" song.
I don't understand why someone would go through all the trouble of a sex change, and then keep the same name.
I always wonder the same thing about Lindsey Graham.
She had a sex change?!
To "None of the Above"?!
Or…"None Down Below".
Does TrannySurprise approve this comment?
It's a relief to know that if I ever choose to run for elected office, there's that contingent out there who'll overlook my relevance or contributions to our local political Virginia-Reel, instead focusing laserlike on my "real jobs" I've held "in the world."
… Damn. I guess I need to hurry up and get a real job to even pose like I'm full of Win, don't I.
PolitiFact find the claim that Hitler was pure evil to be mostly true but there is significant evidence that his dog liked him.
Was "selling fitness equipment" part of some MLM scam? Because I don't really think it counts as a job if your net income is negative.
"Yeah, but who would you rather share a beer with?" (remember when that was actual political commentary favoring W?)
Is he related to the guyy the named the ballpark after in Philly? Anyone?
Yea, he climbed down from that tree.
My dad used to tell me about how the fans ripped it to shreds right before they moved the team to the cement bunker.
yup, people tore out seats and everything else. I wasn't there because I never gave a shit about baseball and still don't
Great grandson.
Point is, Connie Mack wouldn't have gotten a job selling anything if he weren't some famous jock that the company could use….Tiger Woods has a job too, he sells fitness equipment for some small company (anyone ever hear of Nike)…but that doesn't make him fit to govern, unless its his cadre of poon.
These references to his great-grandfather are getting me nowhere, I can't think of a good joke involving this but I think it should be noted that Hall of Famer Connie Mack thee Firste simultaneously has the most wins and the most losses as a manager in baseball history. Also he didn't like blacks so much, but wiki sez, "According to those who knew him, Mack was not a racist by the standards of his day," whatever that means. Probably that he didn't spit on or kick black men on the street?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Connie_Mack
Probably means he hung out with the Negroes to listen to their live jazz and blues, but made his help – the coloreds, use the rear entrance only. Wait, the "rear entrance" doesn't sound right… I mean the back door. Oh, shit, that's no better,.. he made them come around back….
Fuck it. Have fun with the soft ball I'm lobbing out there.
Also, the reefer.
Fitness equipment? You mean the Wetsuit and Dildo Emporium?
He's republican…strictly buttplugs.
We had a Hooters in my town, but it closed. I don't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
No Hooters here, but no Chick-Fil-A, either. Win-win!
There is a Hooters in Troy, Michigan in suburban Detroit. It's right of Exit 69 on Big Beaver. No shit.
If a Democrat had worked for Hooters…
He'd be the next Bill Clinton.
FACT: Connie Mack was fired from Hooters because his balls in pantyhose looked like two tiny kiwis which is OFFENSIVE.
Customers complained about having nightmares of scrotums dressed to rob a bank.
Everyone knows those hotpants are just crying out for a manly sack.
I haven't heard any denials so it must be true.
Fitness equipment? Naughtyless?
"Boobs" in the good way or the dumb way?
Yes.
I think he should revert to his real name, Cornelius Harvey McGillicuddy IV. Then he'd probably have a shot at the Republican Veep nomination. Sheesh, do you have any Grey Poupon?
"Excuse me, do you have anything grey to poop on?"
1980's reference to Mike Meyers
Everything's better with poop on it.
I've had some great mammaries at Hooters.
Thanks for keeping us abreast of that.
Boob pun reply line forms to the rear. . .
They have some large sides of boob.
You guys are going to milk this for all it's worth, aren't you?
I like to just nipple on the appeteasers.
Thanks for the mammaries. Fond mammaries.
This is a state that elected a proven medicare defrauding conman who physically looks like the most evil character in modern literature to be their governor. Connie Mack is right in their strike zone.
He DOES look like Mr. Burns, doesn't he?
This is who Rick Scott reminds me of, and it ain't pretty:
http://buffy.wikia.com/wiki/The_Gentlemen
Looks like a meeting of the Republighoul Caucus.
Abs and Boobs are in adjacent markets so it's really the same job.
We don't need no stinkin' facts! (apologies to John Huston)
i was just posting on this when i saw your comment. trx?
this thing SAVED my life when i had to travel non-stop (and ALWAYS caused tsa to get all testosterone-y and demand to know where they could get one too).
only accident i ever had was when i made the mistake of trying it on my front door / over area rug. first balance exercise my legs went out from under me like wiley coyote. mr fuflans got quite a laugh.
*adjusts oversize fake glasses on bridge of nose, a la sexy librarian*
*consults clipboard*
Making fun of Connie for having girl's name… check.
Hooters/boobs are breasts/boobs are stupid people puns… check
Ab rocket/crotch rocket joke…
Well, the thread is young, still.
Chick has spent her entire career in D.C. working on one subject, armaments. Talk about text book example of InsidetheBeltway Myopia.
Hooters is much like our political system: sells the sizzle and keeps the steak.
From Politifact; "…So he starting striking and grabbing the ball player’s crotch. At a certain point, the club’s bouncers got involved and Mack broke his ankle. He sued Gant, who was held liable. But a jury awarded no damages"
So the guy starts a bar fight, gets his ass icked and then sues. What a pussy!
And this bird
you cannot change.
*raising lighter*
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