Oh look, a Louisiana charter school has found a simple solution for combating teen pregnancy that also allows them to “maintain an environment where students will learn and exhibit acceptable character traits that govern language, gesture, physical actions and written words.” The solution is to force the girls to take classes at home if it turns out they are indeed going to be punished by blessed with a child, thus killing two birds with one stone — shaming pregnant girls while simultaneously teaching students that shaming pregnant girls is constitutive of an acceptable “gesture, physical action” or “written word.”
“[Delhi Charter School] reserves the right to require any female student to take a pregnancy test to confirm whether or not the suspect student is in fact pregnant,” the policy reads.
The policy also allows the school to refer the student to a physician of its choice. “If the test indicates that the student is pregnant, the student will not be permitted to attend classes on the campus of Delhi Charter School.”
Pregnant students wishing to continue attending Delhi Charter will be required to enroll in a home study course while pregnant. […] Students who refuse to take a pregnancy test are “treated as a pregnant student and will be offered home study opportunities.”
This, of course, is totally illegal and the ACLU is asking the school to please stop but that’s only because the commie-libs at ACLU don’t understand that being a slut is contagious and the best way to stop slutty behavior is to shame pregnant girls give them “home study opportunities.”
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Dear France, thanks for the Statue of Liberty. You may have Louisiana back now.
I wish to god that would happen and so do most people with an above room temp IQ in LA.
Mardi Gras after Katrina: "Buy us back, Chirac!"
http://www.flickr.com/photos/justinwolfe/10043259…
I think we should just turn it over to the Vampire Authority and Russell Edgington.
I think the US Dept. of Ed, Office for Civil Rights, would appreciate someone dropping them a note about this.
Reding (laws) is gud:
34 CFR Section 106.21(c).
(c) Prohibitions relating to marital or parental status. In determining whether a person satisfies any policy or criterion for admission, or in making any offer of admission, a recipient to which this subpart applies:
…
(2) Shall not discriminate against or exclude any person on the basis of pregnancy, childbirth, termination of pregnancy, or recovery therefrom, or establish or follow any rule or practice which so discriminates or excludes;…
Pregnant girls are disruptive. they waddle around taking up lots of room and they need to pee all the time.
What I love about this is the unintended consequence. What does the girl do, to stay in school? Visit the Abortionplex!!
I find this easy to masturbate to.
♫ Readin' and 'ritin' and 'rithmetic
Taught to the tune of the Clear Blue Easy stick ♫
Gonna be hard passing the gym final from home
Or in labor.
"home study opportunties"? Good lord, where do you think they got pregnant in the first place!
Under the bleachers?
Boiler room? Actually, true story here from the school where I teach. The principal is walking the hallway after school and hears…a noise… coming from the gymnastics equipment storage room. He opens the door, and sees a couple going at it against the pommel horse, both facing the other way. They do not know he is there. He is at a total loss for what to do or say. He glances around the room and sees a pack of cigarettes on the floor. He barks out, "No cigarettes allowed in school!" and walks away. He never did know who they were, but I betcha each of them shit their pants for the next week every time the phone rang at home.
“[Delhi Charter School] reserves the right to require any female student to take a pregnancy test to confirm whether or not the suspect student is in fact pregnant,” the policy reads.
Wow.
I mean, just wow. Oh, thank god for charter schools, where students can learn the meaning of education in an environment free from things like bullying and intimidation that you might find in public schools.
It's not bullying and intimidation when those in charge do it.
No, of course not. It's merely enforcing safety and security: "Nice vagina you got there. Be a shame if anything was to happen to it."
From your lips to my first grade teacher's ears.
(I won't name her, but in that grade, I was enrolled at Lincoln Elementary in Wauwatosa, Wisc., & the year was 1986.)
Maybe the Dad should be forced to have a vasectomy before he can return to school.
Don't you mean "Dad/GRANDdad"? This is Louisiana, after all, and that combination would be perfectly acceptable in high school.
Nah he'll get a Good Student award.
He's probably on the football team. God knows we wouldn't want to ruin his life!
And the girl gets an abortion. I'm sure they thought this through.
Bobbie now wants to fund all of these ditzie private schools including the ones proposing dinosaurs and people were frollicking around…
This could be solved by simply offering abortions in the school nurses office.
Or by only admitting gay/lesbian students.
Students suspected of being heterosexual will be required to perform sex acts on a person of the same gender chosen by the school.
And the Religious Right accuses Progressives of not wanting to meet them half way.
That would be socialism. They should offer vouchers.
They could do it during the annual eye exam.
They have to bend over to check for scoliosis anyway …
Oooh, and the boys can get used to that whole "turn your head and cough" routine they'll experience in prison and/or the military!
Whispering eye exam? You mean, a pelvic?
Babby donuts for the gators in the bayou!
Being sent home in shame is a good way to give the student a positive outlook on her pregnancy and child-to-be.
And on her school, also too.
Are the boys who got them "in a family way" also being shamed? No? Must be some kind of crazy Cajun parthenogenesis going on down there, because otherwise this would come off as kind of totally misogynistic and hypocritical.
In all fairness and accuracy, Delhi is in north Louisiana. Cajun country is in the southwest, more or less the heel of the boot. North Louisiana is basically not Louisiana at all; better to call it West Mississippi. (Shreveport's not so bad, but Delhi is no Shreveport.)
Calling Delhi "Cajun" is like calling people from Rochester Brooklynites. Same state, different universe.
I had a very nice co-worker from someplace in Louisiana where people lived in houseboats and there were gators in the water.
Between his thick Cajun accent and my *very very slight* Jersey accent, our conversations needed subtitles for both parties.
I have no doubt that mandatory paternity tests for all male students, faculty and staff will be forthcoming. Along with the attendant "home study" opportunities.
No doubt. Whatsoever.
Just a pregnancy test? But without mandated, medically-unnecessary trans-vag ultrasounds to confirm the pregnancy, how does this school expect to raise future leaders and future sandwhich-makers?
Next they'll ask if the girls weigh the same as a duck.
What with all that gestational weight gain, my guess is they'd still float.
BUOYANCY LIBEL!!!!111!!1
Howard Libel!!!
I woodn't do that…
Who are you, who knows so much of science?
Just hire Lewinsky for a special Health class and demonstration, and problem solved..
How could there be any pregnant girls in Louisiana? Don't they teach abstinence there???
No, you're thinking of absinthe.
Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder
Or at least taste of licorice.
Therefore, if Jane Fonda drinks absinthe, she'll have heart enlargement.
That's here in New Orleans, sadly not representative of the state as a whole. Or Hole.
Wait, WHO is complaining about Sharia Law being instituted in the United States?
All of 'em Katie
The little tramps should be singled out and shamed. It's not as if pregnancy and childbirth are normal, human functions or anything.
Yea, I mean, yeast infections or STDs, no problem, but a babby???? ALIEN! ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT!
My great great great great great great great great great grandparents might have a word with you about that.
There are a lot of other social norms from the 1950s that backers of Louisiana charter schools would like to reinstitute, too. They're working on those.
Like smoking everywhere – because like tobacco money crop.
They're smoking, all right, but tobacco isn't even in the top 10 cash crops:
http://norml.org/legal/item/louisiana-top-10-cash…
Like duck and cover?
Well, they can always get jobs, at Chick-Fil-A.
Is that an aspirin I see between those knees?
For people who say they hate abortion, the administrators at Delhi Charter School are doing all they can to encourage it. Must be OK as long as it isn't safe and legal.
As long as the little whore is punished for fucking, everything's fine and dandy.
Oh sure, beat me to it by three hours.
That's one test you have to cram for.
Slamming is also accepted.
Opportunities for home study are also opportunities for more fucking! Win!
What the hell would these people know about shame? The idiots who run this school clearly have none.
But at least they're learning that dinosaurs lived with Fred Flinstone and 2+2 = Jeebus so it's all good… right?
The day is fast approaching where hearing your doctor's foreign accent is a source of comfort.
The Catholic schools around here (Louisiana) have long had boarding schools in the middle of nowhere for preggy & bad girls. Why don't they just make a state prison for them all somewhere? They could repurpose some of the unused buildings in Angola prison.
This message sponsored by The Committee For For-Profit Prisons Of America.
If they could just work the word "Magdalene" into the name somewhere, it would be perfect.
"Perhaps the school was not aware of the protections under Title IX (of the Education Amendments of 1972)," she said. "I am feeling a bit frustrated that maybe not all of our schools are aware of these compliance issues. I hope they will remedy this or explain why they think they have the ability to do this."
With respect, honey, we're talking about North Louisiana here. Which those of us in the civilized part of the state refer to as "Baja Mississippi."
PROTECSHUNS ARE SOSHIALIST EAT MOAR CHIKN
The Delhi School should really expand these policies so that girls – pregnant or not – will not be allowed to attend school at all. That way they'll be safe from pregnancy, the complications that an education can bring, and creeping Sharia law.
And big government.
Yet when a Muslim school started the process to meet Louisiana's
highstandards for voucher/charter schools, legislators and other expressed so much "concern" the Muslim school dropped their application.This is especially wonderful if the child has been impregnated by a male relative. Now she gets to stay home with him!
Assholes.
Oh, please, like THAT ever happens in the Deep South!
I flipped through a few pages in the policy manual PDF. They use the term "Head Master" with the spacing and initial caps in just about ever paragraph. The author–who was probably the Head Master himself–may have meant "headmaster" but who knows with this bunch.
Who runs Charterschool? Head Master Blaster runs Charterschool!
One man enters…
So he's really good at giving head?
Head Master Baitor.
Dark Prince… bator.
/Xander
That's a role in Dungeons and Dragons I was unaware of. I may have to rethink giving that shit up.
A product of home schooling, no doubt.
Either way, someone got top marks on their lingua performance.
See, you can't get pregnant that way.
When I was in high school in the 60's, pregnant girls were "sent to live with some distant relative" for the year. Not so interestingly, the same was said of me when I got busted for dope.
And all your buddies were like, "Dude was a chick? Huh?"
In my area in NJ it was, "Shelia went to live with her aunt in Poukipsie." Then the French Connection came out and the whole world changed.
In Philly, until the end of the 60's, you had to go a special school- but local and public- if you got pregnant and were unmarried. In my sister's class, one of the class officers was married and pregnant- so she was allowed to stay in school but could not come on stage to get her diploma. 3 years later- I graduated in 1970- we had a pregnant girl who was allowed to continue going to class with us.
Our school district in the SF 'burbs also had a continuation school where the problem children went. Class of '69 allowed no pregnant chicks in public schools. The only classmates I knew in that situation are still married, according to their Classmates® pages…
I remember one classmate who walked up to get her diploma with us at graduation, who looked as though she were about 8 months and 28 days pregnant with triplets.
My school took a different approach to pregnancy entirely. Sex education and birth control were drilled into us from the 7th grade, and noone ever got (visibly) pregnant.
Of course, this was an "eleet" private school in Seattle, so it was a progressive layered on top of liberal education.
I wonder if those poor girls will ever figure out what caused their pregnancies, given the likely absence of sex ed classes at that school.
The stork did it, silly. Pestork, that is. (in Foghorn Leghorn voice)
And they were sluts for leaving their windows open.
Well, I've never heard it called *that* before!
Chupacabra
At least the preggers girls should get life-credits for sex ed.
If they send all the easy girls home, morale is really going to drop.
"The solution is to force the girls to take classes at home if it turns out they are indeed going to be punished by blessed with a child, thus killing two birds with one stone "—
Wouldn't God choose stoning as the first choice?
Next semester's policy will include examinations to see if any sluts, I mean girls , have had abortions. In that case, the school will cheerfully apply a branding of the letter A on the slut/girl's forehead, and she will be welcomed back to class, where she will be an example to all the other slut/girls.
They'll bring in the hymenoptics next.
"hymenoptics"
What, a big eye chart with a V instead of an E?
Scarlet A, you mean.
An unexpected side benefit is that it will make tattoos much less popular.
Another bold step for freedom and the Louisiana "education system." Thanks Bobby!
I bet the person who wrote those rules is very ugly.
The probably shouldn't be allowed in school while menstrating either. Everyone knows menstrating women are unclean.
It's that creeping backdoor Talmudic Law again.
They have to attend classes in the special red tent erected in the school yard.
But how will you earn your redwing badge?
I read somewhere that their periods attract bears.
Who the hell suggested the Louisiana Purchase? Is there a return policy?
Napoleon needed the cash.
Awesome moral dilemma:
Thomas Jefferson masterminded the Louisiana Purchase.
However, he ALSO invented French fries AND mac'and'cheese.
What to do, what to do?
Damn! This is just like the flatfoots assuming you're drunk just because you don't want to blow into their stupid little meter. Communism!
Let me guess, the test has to be administered by the gym teacher, along with a physical exam in the principal's office.
Does Booby Jindal have some investments in a pregnancy test kit company? He must be spending time with Rick Scott.
Louisiana offers pregnant girls a chance to study at home in their very own kitchen. Footwear prohibited.
An' while you're here, make me a sammich!!!
Can't they just ship them off to an aunt in some other state like in the old days? Shame solved!
But, how do you know they be reading their Bible all the time, when they be at home during school Bible study classes?
And yet, this place totally re-elected David Vitter. Go figure!
So can they go back to school after having an abortion?
The best way to stop teen preggers, is to give them "abortion opportunities".
Also, free coupons for Chick-Fill-A-Dick…
Here's the craziest thing- on the Fox site, this is one the HEALTH page. Cause yeah, this is totally a health story. wtf.
LA. recreating medieval europe in a swamp. one private sector initiative at a time.
Good idea, but it doesn't go far enough.
They should have mandatory vaginal ultrasounds for *all* the female students, and mandatory drug testing for all the male AND female students.
It's Louisiana, the schools are rollin' in dough, so I'm sure they can afford it.
Because ignorance, repression, and slut-shaming really haven't been given a fair trial up until now.
Ralph Wiggum: Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.
Chief Wiggum: The baby looked at you?
[this always cracks me up so much, because, yeah, Chief Wiggum, the part where the baby looked at Ralph is the unbelievable part of the story, right?]
You're thinking of "Maury".
FUCK you, Delhi Charter School!
My mom got pregnant with me when she was in high school, and because of her build (she was on the big side) she was able to hide it until her fifth month, by which time it was summer, and she went away to give birth to me and came back to school, with no one in her small and narrow minded town the wiser. The last fucking thing she needed was to be shamed by a bunch of haters like you. She was only sixteen, you assholes.
RIP, Mom, I love you…
Also–FUCK you, Delhi Charter School!
And who wants to bet that the people in charge of this dump call Obama a fascist? Seriously, it's like they don't even hear the words they're speaking.
Slightly OT:
When my uncle was a high school Phys Ed teacher, one of the girls in his class was pregnant. Since she was apparently kinda chubby to begin with, she just wore bigger and bigger clothes, and nobody knew about it. One day, everyone was in gym class, and the leg of this girl's loose, baggy gym shorts had another, tiny, leg emerge from it.
Snotty Girl [raising hand]: Mr. Andrew, Susie did a baby in her pants!
All Girls in class: EEEEWWWWWW!!!
I have a great idea! Let's worsen a pregnant girls situation by denying her an education, dooming her to a life of minimum wage jobs and welfare! Well maybe not the welfare because we're going to destroy that in the next decade. It'll teach her a valuable lesson on bootstrapping that my grandfather learned when he founded the multinational conglomerate my father handed to me when he passed away!
Closer, Sharia Law, to thee. Closer to thee.
Ahem. And what, pray tell, are they going to do to the fathers? Just asking.
Stifle sexual activity, promote separation, hatred and bigotry. Sounds fair to me.
Is anyone else kind of grossed out that she's holding the pregnancy test by the part you're supposed to pee on?
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