winner winner chicken dinner

Surprise: Allen West Once Did Dickish Thing To Black People

ridin' dirtyBut which jerkwad thing did Allen West do to black people, you might ask?

He delivered Chick-fil-A to a Congressional Black Caucus meeting. They were not appreciative.

A Democratic lawmaker says Rep. Allen West (R-Fla.) offended the entire Congressional Black Caucus by delivering Chick-fil-A chicken and biscuits to their weekly meeting — and then walking out — when it was his turn to provide the group with a formal lunch.

Rep. Alcee Hastings (D-Fla.) told The Huffington Post that the incident happened about six months ago but is now fresh in his mind given West’s recent comments in support of the fast food chain, which is run by a well-known Christian and backer of anti-gay religious organizations.


“That was an ‘in your face.’ Every member of the Congressional Black Caucus that was there was offended,” he said.

Asked more specifically why lawmakers were insulted, Hastings said it was because they saw West’s actions as making a statement in support of the conservative views held by Chick-fil-A leaders. West is the only Republican member of the caucus.

“He did it deliberately,” Hastings said, explaining that he saw West’s message as, “You know, ‘That’s what I think of you all.'”

It’s actually more offensive that he dropped off fast food. That’s like having a tailgate with wine coolers.

[Huff Po]

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      1. BoatOfVelociraptors

        Man, blimp jousting would be entertaining in the same way that baseball is. Slow, dragged out, and full of gasbags.

    1. Beowoof

      Don't forget some fatties, as they will give you the munchies so you will be interested in the chicken.

          1. Extemporanus

            That's one of the downsides to working the All-You-Eat Sunday Brunch Buffet shift at The Gold Club, sister.

          2. Tequila Mockingbird

            Actually, I was at John Colins. The Gold Club bouncers were really sweet and helped me change my spare. [insert "jack" joke of your choice here.]

            Chevy's? Pfft. What am I, a tourist from Iowa? A grad student? My own grandpa?

          3. MissTaken

            Haha! You can always tell the people who are going to the Chevy's because they have a convention id on with their name in Comic Sans 20 pt font and they don't know how to fucking walk down a crowded sidewalk when I need to hurry back to work from the Gold Club lunch buffet.

          4. SorosBot

            OK, hopefully it won't take me too long after I've moved out there to understand these SF references.

          5. Extemporanus

            If I had a damp dollar for every time that I got a "flat tire" right outside the Gold Club…

    1. Negropolis

      What's an "almost white guy"? A Jew? A light-skinned Indian? A blue-eyed Arab? A…a…Russian?

      1. Goonemeritus

        Italian Catholic, I take comfort in the fact that the KKK hates me even though I have no rhythm.

          1. Goonemeritus

            Well yes but you have Roman Catholic, Latin Rite Catholic, Eastern Rite Catholic, Romanian-Catholics, Ukrainian Greek Catholics, Armenian Catholics and Jehovah's Witnesses.

  1. YouBetcha

    I have a particular fondness for the dark meat, shall we say, but Allen West just does not do it for me. I would not hit that.

  2. Beowoof

    Oh Allen, you' re not white and even with Michael Jackson style alterations they will still hate you for being black.

  3. ChillBill

    "Democratic lawmaker says Rep. Allen West (R-Fla.) offended the entire Congressional Black Caucus by delivering Chick-fil-A chicken and biscuits to their weekly meeting — and then walking out…"

    …back to his cabin?

  4. mavenmaven

    Allen West thought fried chicken would go over well for the black caucus? What, no watermelon? Such a friggin' creep.

  5. decay500

    "only Republican member of the caucus.."

    And when he walked out, a gauntlet of hi 5's from his snickering buddies waiting in the hall.. Boner, Ryan, et al.. I was down in D.C. testifying and as I walked the halls of the congressional office building it felt exactly like high school between classes.

  6. MissTaken

    I'm impressed he didn't bring them watermelon for dessert. Then again, watermelon probably wasn't in season at that time and he didn't want to pay for the stuff from Chile.

  7. Jus_Wonderin

    I am confused. I am a liberal but I can't understand why I continually try to tamp down Chick-fil-A's/Dan Cathay's freedom of speech. Am I just an ungodly beast?

    1. JustPixelz

      LIberals like the First Amendment; conservatives the Second Amendment. That's pretty much your dilemma.

  8. Callyson

    “That was an ‘in your face.’ Every member of the Congressional Black Caucus that was there was offended,” he said.

    Alcee Hastings was too polite to add "But the silver lining is that he walked the fuck out afterwards, so we did not have to deal with his sorry ass."

  9. Tequila Mockingbird

    I still can't believe people are using a fast-food restaurant chain as a proxy for the issue of gay marriage. I guess it’s for people who feel so strongly about the issue but not enough to make the slightest personal sacrifice for it, like give up a greasy fried chicken sandwich. Fuck these people.

  10. Mahousu

    We had a guy like this in our group. When we had a potluck Christmas party, everyone else brought in nice homemade treats. He dropped off a bucket of KFC.

    A half-eaten bucket of KFC.

    1. MissTaken

      At my old job we had a girl bring in a frozen box of Totino's Pizza Rolls to a potluck. She just dumped the entire box on the table and let it melt in-between a 7-layer dip and cheesecake.

      1. Jus_Wonderin

        JW pats self on back: Nearer to T'day I bring in two huge slow cookers of stew, sides of coleslaw and cornbread.

        It is my tradition and gift to the company. They seem to enjoy it and noone has been poisoned….yet

      2. James Michael Curley

        When I go to potluck dinners I bring a bunch of those travel size Pepto Bismol. People send me thank you cards for weeks.

    2. kittensdontlie

      Equating West to this guy might be a bit harsh, after all he was saving some of you from certain death by fried chicken.

    3. Billmatic

      This sounds like the kind of thing i do for pot lucks, because I resent them and think they suck.

  11. coolhandnuke

    West would have included watermelons in his impromptu delivery, but that would have pushed his fiscal conservative free lunch budget into the black.

  12. EatsBabyDingos

    He then unwrapped two patties, shoved them together, and called them Chick on Chick fil A's, noting the supple breast meat.

    1. chicken_thief

      You're starting to make that poison sound good. I still prolly won't eat it, but I would watch it for awhile.

    2. elviouslyqueer

      No no. You're confusing West with Hermann Cain. Or Clarence Thomas. Mind you, easy mistake.

  13. OldWhiteLies

    Honestly, with this guy's record of hits, this seems to me one of the least dickish things he's done. I think the Caucus should consider themselves fortunate that he saw fit to immediately walk back out without any additional comments.

    1. Negropolis

      Trust me, he may play stupid on TV, but he knows who to fuck with and how to fuck with them. He's smart enough to high-tailed his ass on out of the room. They'd have knocked his ass back to the 1980's, you know, the decade his haircut is from.

  14. PuckStopsHere

    Allen West should go back to using Chic-Fil-A as it is meant to be used: A place for him to take Sarah Palin on dates.

  15. Misty Malarky

    Jesus-Lickin' Christ!

    Is every goddam thing event in this goddam country now and forever gonna be linked to goddam Chick-Fil-A?

    Screw West in his big fat ass – with Polynesian Sauce.

  16. bikerlaureate

    It’s actually more offensive that he dropped off fast food.


    Bipartisan reaching-across-the-aisle should never include anusburgers either.

  17. Chet Kincaid_

    West also invited field recording specialists from the Smithsonian to the meeting, to "record Democrat Plantation field hollers."

    EDIT: I take it back, he is too stupid to come up with a good piece of trolling like that.

  18. widestanceromance

    I'd have tossed him out for forgetting the Colt 45 and the loose white wimmenz.

    This guy again, again.

  19. Not_So_Much

    Did a shoot a gun next to anybody's head? If not, then I think we can all agree he's making real progress.

    1. Billmatic

      I'm really happy for u and i'mma let u finish but Allen West is the Worst Congressman of all time. OF ALL TIME.

  20. Come here a minute

    And yet when he goes out to eat, Allen West screams at the server, "Motherfucker, I want more iced tea!"

  21. mlle_derp

    The other Republicans told him that he's 'one of them'. How could he still be a blah? Republicanism doesn't just work as brain bleach, y'know.

  22. chicken_thief

    WTF you need biscuits for if there wasn't any 'tater salad and baked beans? I'd have been pissed to.

  23. Guppy

    A bunch of fast food for a "formal lunch?" Meh, it's just a bunch of blahs, it's not like they'd know the difference.

  24. labman57

    The Congressional Black Caucus should send West a dozen custom-made rainbow oreos — a little sugar might help his extremely bitter, catty disposition.

  25. CindynEncinitas

    He woulda hung around and knocked back a couple 40s with them but he had to go help OJ look for the real killers.

  26. sullivanst

    Sure he does, he knows it well enough to use it as a stick over the head with which to beat anyone who attempts to call him out for the disgusting bile that perpetually spews from his mouth.

  27. rickmaci

    It is funny in the sense that a former Army Lt. Colonel and a member of the House of Representatives would be so lacking in personal integrity or courage of conviction, that he would stoop to a stupid, sophomoric, chicken shit ambush stunt and then run and hide. Then again, he is a Republigoon so maybe it is to be expected.

  28. ttommyunger

    No doubt it would have been liberally seasoned with West's special secret sauce, if he could just get it up, which you know he can't, because-Wingtard Impotence.

  29. SolitaireRose

    The worst part is, he told the other Congressmen "I got y'all some Yard Bird for yo meetin" and asked why they weren't tap dancing. He then went on Fox Republican News Channel and said they were all the REAL racists in order to win the sweet, sweet love of Ann Coulter.

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