MILLIONS OF DOLLARS WENT INTO THIS  4:30 pm August 7, 2012

‘Romney Hood,’ Then ‘Obamaloney’: Dumb Daily Wordplay Race Now a Dead Heat

by Jim Newell

We’re sure the fancy Madison Avenue Focus Groups have data showing that this stuff works like hot hell, but the President’s brand new haymaker — “He’s Robin Hood in reverse. He’s Romney Hood” — is basically just as hackneyed as a straightforward metaphor comparing a charitable person to Robin Hood. His Super PAC has been using the same line. “Chicago” really loves this shit, huh? Sure, run with it. It’s on message and the copy is marginally snappier than “He’s Robin Hood in reverse. He’s, you know, King John or the Sheriff of Nottingham, the story’s antagonists, who necessarily represent a counter ideology of upward wealth redistribution.” Your Wonkette would pass out laughing if he dropped that, but we’re degenerates.

Our national errand boy, Mitt Romney, had just the right response in the tank: “And if I were to coin a term, it would be ‘Obamaloney.’ He’s serving up a dish which is simply in contradiction with the truth.” The classic American meal of baloney on a dish never tasted so bad, derpa derp. Or perhaps Romney, being weird, intended to draw a comparison between the president and Rep. Carolyn Maloney, to highlight his opposition to generic Democratic policy stances?

Yesterday was more fun.

[ABC News]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 95 comments }

Pragmatist2 August 7, 2012 at 4:32 pm

"Romnesia" – when you forget you used to be a liberal.

smokefilledmeltdown August 7, 2012 at 4:34 pm

'Romnerrhea' is the shit that comes out of his mouth.

Come here a minute August 7, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Meanwhile, polls show the voters have a case of "Barackoholism" and are not becoming any more "Romneydirectional".

Fare la Volpe August 7, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Nobody has ever been Romneycurious.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 7, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Except for the yes men that surround him. There's good money to be made in telling a rich man he's right. The entire business industry press is based on this fact.

Fluffing a rich guy is how trickle down works.

smokefilledmeltdown August 7, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Romney "For a Stronger Middle Class"– fuck me gently with a fucking chainsaw.

sullivanst August 7, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Well, things that don't exist are unbreakable, and how much stronger can you get than that?

Fare la Volpe August 7, 2012 at 5:02 pm

It went over better than

Romney "Friend to the Animals"

BaldarTFlagass August 7, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Unfortunately, Obama can't come right out and call a spade a spade (i.e., "My opponent is a fucking asshole"). Romney could call a spade a spade, but that'd probably be crossing over the line and even he isn't that stupid, so he uses the standard issue dog whistles.

zippy_w_pinhead August 7, 2012 at 4:43 pm

see, that's the advantage of the magic Etch-A-Sketch. Don't like a line? Give it a shake and just draw a new one

sullivanst August 7, 2012 at 4:44 pm

I'd settle for "My opponent is a compulsive liar".

HempDogbane August 7, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Someone at Fox News thinks "Witty Willard" is a good way to play up Mitt's response.

BaldarTFlagass August 7, 2012 at 4:40 pm

They left off the "T" in front of "witty."

smokefilledmeltdown August 7, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Half-wit Mitt..

mlle_derp August 7, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Or they forgot the D-I-M in front of "witty"….

Gleem McShineys August 7, 2012 at 6:30 pm

For accuracy, his name should really be "Shillard."

PuckStopsHere August 7, 2012 at 4:38 pm

I'm sure Mitt Fucking Romney eats fucking baloney every fucking day. I'll bet he picked some up at the store yesterday, right after he got his "hardware stuff."

Wadisay August 7, 2012 at 4:46 pm

He was looking for some tool to be his running mate.

mlle_derp August 7, 2012 at 4:47 pm

That's why he's so full of it.

BaldarTFlagass August 7, 2012 at 4:38 pm

I'm sure Mitt has never tasted bologna in his life. His reference to "Obamaloney" is more likely a takeoff on abalone.

Chet Kincaid_ August 7, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Mitt has eaten plenty of baloney! The Scholarship Kids he and the boys used to beat the hell out of always brought baloney sandwiches for lunch!

Callyson August 7, 2012 at 4:44 pm

No, but he's served plenty of it.

Jus_Wonderin August 7, 2012 at 4:38 pm

"Momney'd" – when your party and its policies kick Mom in the cunt.

labman57 August 7, 2012 at 4:40 pm

In both policy positions and plays on words, Team Romney comes up short.

johnnyzhivago August 7, 2012 at 4:40 pm

This sums up Romney Bullshit pretty well:
http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2012/08/video-proves

pinkocommi August 7, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Romnipotent – The unlimited power to be an out-of-touch rich asshole everywhere all at once.

mlle_derp August 7, 2012 at 4:41 pm

O'Bamaloney sure sounds Irish to me…

MissTaken August 7, 2012 at 4:45 pm

I wanna kiss the O'Bamalarny Stone

Jus_Wonderin August 7, 2012 at 4:49 pm

"Oh, my eye!!!!!"

SexySmurf August 7, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Then Obama replied by calling him "Shitt Dumbney." And then Mitt called him "Bacock Yomama." And then Obama was all like, "you, me, flag pole 3 o'clock."

anniegetyerfun August 7, 2012 at 5:00 pm

This actually needs to happen.

Goonemeritus August 7, 2012 at 4:42 pm

When will we finally stop pussy footing around and admit that we will be rounding up anyone richer than me the day after the election.

emmelemm August 7, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Uh, wrong. They'll be rounding up anyone who makes LESS than $250k and putting them in the work camps. For America and Jesus.

Beowoof August 7, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Don't forget your Buybull, that could earn you an extra spoonful of the thin gruel.

Generation[redacted] August 7, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Because the poor haven't paid their fair share of taxes.

Joshua Norton August 7, 2012 at 4:43 pm

You might be a redneck Romney supporter..

If you're only experience with science is from your common-law wife's meth lab…

If you're morally opposed to your sister using birth control when you're having sex with her….

If you have no idea what a 99%er and a 1% because you don't know what math is….

If every time you go near one of your farm animals, they blow a rape whistle…

If when watching your girlfriend's state-mandated sonagram, you ask for the remote so you can change it to "Walker, Texas Ranger"…

Callyson August 7, 2012 at 4:43 pm

We have:

Rmoney

Rob Me

Romney Hood

They have:

Obamaloney

We're still up 3 -1. USA! USA!

smokefilledmeltdown August 7, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Don't forget 'Shitty Mitty'!

elviouslyqueer August 7, 2012 at 4:51 pm

I much prefer the tried and true "Lying Douchebag," personally.

ElPinche August 7, 2012 at 4:59 pm

winner!

Nostrildamus August 7, 2012 at 6:17 pm

My wife insists this term a poor term because a douche bag is useful.

mlle_derp August 7, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Don't forget all the versions of the Mittbot…

Negropolis August 8, 2012 at 2:14 am

Shit Romney. You forgot Shit Romney.

Isyaignert August 8, 2012 at 2:32 am

Then there's "Mint Raw Money" and "Mitt Robbed Me" courtesy of the awesome progressive talk show host Norman Goldman – http://www.normangoldman.com

coolhandnuke August 7, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Mitt's all jazzed after his shopping adventure to connect with the Wal Mart moms. As the inveterate shopper at Romney Manor, Mitt showed the moms how it's done by putting the groceries under the hood and strapping the bag boy to the car roof.

Barb_ August 7, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Romney Hood of Loxley, cutting the hair of the Merry Men, whether they liked it or not.

Chet Kincaid_ August 7, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Oof! I bet he just felt a swift kick in the nethers.

Barb_ August 7, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Unless he was wearing his magic codpiece.

cookieparty August 7, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Romney is King Midas in Reverse…oh wait…he's King Midas.

Tequila Mockingbird August 7, 2012 at 4:45 pm

"Obamalogney"? I can just imagine Mittens licking his lips, smiling smugly with cognac and white fish in his belly, and sliding back in his upholstered chair at his own snappy, shoot-from-the-hip, tell-it-like-it-is folk wisdom, right there.

schvitzatura August 7, 2012 at 6:23 pm

He's the Intercontinental!

Negropolis August 8, 2012 at 2:16 am

If by cognac you meant a cup of green tea, and by white fish you meant a baloney on white bread with mayo ('cause mustard has too much kick, of course), I completely agree.

Isyaignert August 8, 2012 at 2:34 am

There won't be any cognac since he's a Mormon. But wouldn't it be fun to slip him an Alice B. Tokeless brownie?

Extemporanus August 7, 2012 at 4:46 pm

It's good to see that Wonkette commenters are finally getting some work.

deanbooth August 7, 2012 at 4:50 pm

I prefer Romlyingsackofshitney.

Billmatic August 7, 2012 at 4:51 pm

These puns are Obamanable.

UnholyMoses August 7, 2012 at 5:33 pm

They're Baracking my world.

Billmatic August 7, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Don't make me Koch slap you.

MinAgain August 7, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Yeah, you and what Romney?

Negropolis August 8, 2012 at 2:16 am

Why is Obama so damned hussein in the membrane?

SayItWithWookies August 7, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Romneypresence — that's the ability to be in every possible location on a given issue.

mlle_derp August 7, 2012 at 6:44 pm

(Big smile.)

ChillBill August 7, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Romney Hood: Men In Tights Magic Undies.

JackDempsey1 August 7, 2012 at 4:52 pm

There should be a Madmen episode where the gang brainstorms this set of lame neologisms, exasperating Don Draper so much that he drinks himself into a floozy and then beds a bottle of liquor, just to change things up a bit.

mavenmaven August 7, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Remember, those are the people who think "libunatic" is witty and clever.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 8, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Yeah, well, they're totally unprepared for Obamageddon. They're gonna be left behind after the Barackture.

I hope it only happens once – multiple Baracktures are painful.

SorosBot August 7, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Mitt has even less charisma that Kostner's shitty Robin Hood. And at least Morgan Freeman and Alan Rickman made that movie watchable.

Gopherit August 7, 2012 at 4:58 pm

I'll just leave this here.

anniegetyerfun August 7, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Has someone already created Romney-Romulan mash-up art? I am no good with the Photoshop.,

mavenmaven August 7, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Perhaps he meant ObamaLeone, in a reference to spaghetti westerns for his killing bin Laden? Or Obamazony, something to do with erogenous areas? Would a well dressed man be Obamatony? You know we can do this all day.

Tequila Mockingbird August 7, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Barack it off with these lame puns. They're driving me Hussein.

Negropolis August 8, 2012 at 2:17 am

Barack and Hussein? Those jokes? I already Dunham.

ingloriousbytch August 7, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Romnivore – someone who will swallow anything.

hagajim August 7, 2012 at 5:10 pm

I think we all just ought to start calling R'Money a Kochsucker and be done with it.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 8, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Proper pronunciation, please: He has a bad Koch habit.

WhatTheHeck August 7, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Help. I’ve been Romkneed in the balls.

Dr_pangloss August 7, 2012 at 5:17 pm

The "Truth" being somewhere between "I Uhhhhhh Errr Pay Lots of Taxes" and "I'll get back to ya. Yeah RmOney "the checks in the mail" doesn't even work for rich people. That bill comes due no matter what.

Isyaignert August 8, 2012 at 2:37 am

It's right up there with $arah Palin's "I'll find ya some and bring 'em to ya."

fuflans August 7, 2012 at 5:41 pm

king john was also an entitled little twerp who went to france, sacrificed his authority, had his party turn against him and died from peaches or poison.

coincidence? i think not.

StarsUponThars August 7, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Waiting for the inevitable "I know you are but what am I?"

barto August 7, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Romnomatopaoea. DONE!

Generation[redacted] August 7, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Ooooh, he sounds like whatever it is he means at the time.

MinAgain August 7, 2012 at 6:07 pm

I ate a ton of fried baloney in my childhood, and it was deeelicious.

Nostrildamus August 7, 2012 at 6:15 pm

That video shows Willard gets along well with rats.

schvitzatura August 7, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Willard is King Midas in Reverse…for the middle class.

BarackMyWorld August 7, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Trying to wrap my head around it…Bologna is a "dish"? What? Has Mitt Romney ever met an actual human long enough for his subroutines to assimilate normal speech patterns?

Biel_ze_Bubba August 8, 2012 at 5:47 pm

In the Romney household, bologna is served on a silver plate, with truffles. It's quick, easy, and convenient — or so say the cooks.

Midway117 August 7, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Bozo and Ozone Man. Look it up.

DahBoner August 8, 2012 at 8:54 am

Science!

ttommyunger August 7, 2012 at 7:26 pm

‘Obamaloney.’ Freud would be pleased. Romney & Co. just can't keep from fixating on Barry's enormous shlong, can they?

LetUsBray August 7, 2012 at 8:52 pm

What a big, steaming pile of Mitt.

kittensdontlie August 7, 2012 at 9:29 pm

"Mitt's balogna has a first name, it's B-a-r-r-y.
Mitt's balogna has a second name, it's N-o-b-a-m-a.
Oh he loves to beat himself everyday,
And if you ask him why he'll say,
'Cause Barack Obama has a way with O-B-A-L-O-G-N-A !!

mosjef August 7, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Mutt Ramrod
Madge Ringworm
Master Romnabator
Mudman Rentawreck
Muttworth Romnington
Heavy Multtles
Mental Romtardation

Negropolis August 8, 2012 at 2:10 am

I'm still partial to my coining of "Romnelescent." I mean, it's a perfectly cromulent term, I'd think.

DahBoner August 8, 2012 at 8:53 am

Romneo, there he goes again–slipping that date rape drug into America's drink…

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