We’re sure the fancy Madison Avenue Focus Groups have data showing that this stuff works like hot hell, but the President’s brand new haymaker — “He’s Robin Hood in reverse. He’s Romney Hood” — is basically just as hackneyed as a straightforward metaphor comparing a charitable person to Robin Hood. His Super PAC has been using the same line. “Chicago” really loves this shit, huh? Sure, run with it. It’s on message and the copy is marginally snappier than “He’s Robin Hood in reverse. He’s, you know, King John or the Sheriff of Nottingham, the story’s antagonists, who necessarily represent a counter ideology of upward wealth redistribution.” Your Wonkette would pass out laughing if he dropped that, but we’re degenerates.
Our national errand boy, Mitt Romney, had just the right response in the tank: “And if I were to coin a term, it would be ‘Obamaloney.’ He’s serving up a dish which is simply in contradiction with the truth.” The classic American meal of baloney on a dish never tasted so bad, derpa derp. Or perhaps Romney, being weird, intended to draw a comparison between the president and Rep. Carolyn Maloney, to highlight his opposition to generic Democratic policy stances?
Yesterday was more fun.
[ABC News]
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"Romnesia" – when you forget you used to be a liberal.
'Romnerrhea' is the shit that comes out of his mouth.
Meanwhile, polls show the voters have a case of "Barackoholism" and are not becoming any more "Romneydirectional".
Nobody has ever been Romneycurious.
Except for the yes men that surround him. There's good money to be made in telling a rich man he's right. The entire business industry press is based on this fact.
Fluffing a rich guy is how trickle down works.
Romney "For a Stronger Middle Class"– fuck me gently with a fucking chainsaw.
Well, things that don't exist are unbreakable, and how much stronger can you get than that?
It went over better than
Romney "Friend to the Animals"
Unfortunately, Obama can't come right out and call a spade a spade (i.e., "My opponent is a fucking asshole"). Romney could call a spade a spade, but that'd probably be crossing over the line and even he isn't that stupid, so he uses the standard issue dog whistles.
see, that's the advantage of the magic Etch-A-Sketch. Don't like a line? Give it a shake and just draw a new one
I'd settle for "My opponent is a compulsive liar".
Someone at Fox News thinks "Witty Willard" is a good way to play up Mitt's response.
They left off the "T" in front of "witty."
Half-wit Mitt..
Or they forgot the D-I-M in front of "witty"….
For accuracy, his name should really be "Shillard."
I'm sure Mitt Fucking Romney eats fucking baloney every fucking day. I'll bet he picked some up at the store yesterday, right after he got his "hardware stuff."
He was looking for some tool to be his running mate.
That's why he's so full of it.
I'm sure Mitt has never tasted bologna in his life. His reference to "Obamaloney" is more likely a takeoff on abalone.
Mitt has eaten plenty of baloney! The Scholarship Kids he and the boys used to beat the hell out of always brought baloney sandwiches for lunch!
No, but he's served plenty of it.
"Momney'd" – when your party and its policies kick Mom in the cunt.
In both policy positions and plays on words, Team Romney comes up short.
This sums up Romney Bullshit pretty well:
http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2012/08/video-proves…
Romnipotent – The unlimited power to be an out-of-touch rich asshole everywhere all at once.
O'Bamaloney sure sounds Irish to me…
I wanna kiss the O'Bamalarny Stone
"Oh, my eye!!!!!"
Then Obama replied by calling him "Shitt Dumbney." And then Mitt called him "Bacock Yomama." And then Obama was all like, "you, me, flag pole 3 o'clock."
This actually needs to happen.
When will we finally stop pussy footing around and admit that we will be rounding up anyone richer than me the day after the election.
Uh, wrong. They'll be rounding up anyone who makes LESS than $250k and putting them in the work camps. For America and Jesus.
Don't forget your Buybull, that could earn you an extra spoonful of the thin gruel.
Because the poor haven't paid their fair share of taxes.
You might be a
redneckRomney supporter..If you're only experience with science is from your common-law wife's meth lab…
If you're morally opposed to your sister using birth control when you're having sex with her….
If you have no idea what a 99%er and a 1% because you don't know what math is….
If every time you go near one of your farm animals, they blow a rape whistle…
If when watching your girlfriend's state-mandated sonagram, you ask for the remote so you can change it to "Walker, Texas Ranger"…
We have:
Rmoney
Rob Me
Romney Hood
They have:
Obamaloney
We're still up 3 -1. USA! USA!
Don't forget 'Shitty Mitty'!
I much prefer the tried and true "Lying Douchebag," personally.
winner!
My wife insists this term a poor term because a douche bag is useful.
Don't forget all the versions of the Mittbot…
Shit Romney. You forgot Shit Romney.
Then there's "Mint Raw Money" and "Mitt Robbed Me" courtesy of the awesome progressive talk show host Norman Goldman – http://www.normangoldman.com
Mitt's all jazzed after his shopping adventure to connect with the Wal Mart moms. As the inveterate shopper at Romney Manor, Mitt showed the moms how it's done by putting the groceries under the hood and strapping the bag boy to the car roof.
Romney Hood of Loxley, cutting the hair of the Merry Men, whether they liked it or not.
Oof! I bet he just felt a swift kick in the nethers.
Unless he was wearing his magic codpiece.
Romney is King Midas in Reverse…oh wait…he's King Midas.
"Obamalogney"? I can just imagine Mittens licking his lips, smiling smugly with cognac and white fish in his belly, and sliding back in his upholstered chair at his own snappy, shoot-from-the-hip, tell-it-like-it-is folk wisdom, right there.
He's the Intercontinental!
If by cognac you meant a cup of green tea, and by white fish you meant a baloney on white bread with mayo ('cause mustard has too much kick, of course), I completely agree.
There won't be any cognac since he's a Mormon. But wouldn't it be fun to slip him an Alice B. Tokeless brownie?
It's good to see that Wonkette commenters are finally getting some work.
I prefer Romlyingsackofshitney.
These puns are Obamanable.
They're Baracking my world.
Don't make me Koch slap you.
Yeah, you and what Romney?
Why is Obama so damned hussein in the membrane?
Romneypresence — that's the ability to be in every possible location on a given issue.
(Big smile.)
Romney Hood: Men In
TightsMagic Undies.There should be a Madmen episode where the gang brainstorms this set of lame neologisms, exasperating Don Draper so much that he drinks himself into a floozy and then beds a bottle of liquor, just to change things up a bit.
Remember, those are the people who think "libunatic" is witty and clever.
Yeah, well, they're totally unprepared for Obamageddon. They're gonna be left behind after the Barackture.
I hope it only happens once – multiple Baracktures are painful.
Mitt has even less charisma that Kostner's shitty Robin Hood. And at least Morgan Freeman and Alan Rickman made that movie watchable.
I'll just leave this here.
Has someone already created Romney-Romulan mash-up art? I am no good with the Photoshop.,
Perhaps he meant ObamaLeone, in a reference to spaghetti westerns for his killing bin Laden? Or Obamazony, something to do with erogenous areas? Would a well dressed man be Obamatony? You know we can do this all day.
Barack it off with these lame puns. They're driving me Hussein.
Barack and Hussein? Those jokes? I already Dunham.
Romnivore – someone who will swallow anything.
I think we all just ought to start calling R'Money a Kochsucker and be done with it.
Proper pronunciation, please: He has a bad Koch habit.
Help. I’ve been Romkneed in the balls.
The "Truth" being somewhere between "I Uhhhhhh Errr Pay Lots of Taxes" and "I'll get back to ya. Yeah RmOney "the checks in the mail" doesn't even work for rich people. That bill comes due no matter what.
It's right up there with $arah Palin's "I'll find ya some and bring 'em to ya."
king john was also an entitled little twerp who went to france, sacrificed his authority, had his party turn against him and died from peaches or poison.
coincidence? i think not.
Waiting for the inevitable "I know you are but what am I?"
Romnomatopaoea. DONE!
Ooooh, he sounds like whatever it is he means at the time.
I ate a ton of fried baloney in my childhood, and it was deeelicious.
That video shows Willard gets along well with rats.
Willard is King Midas in Reverse…for the middle class.
Trying to wrap my head around it…Bologna is a "dish"? What? Has Mitt Romney ever met an actual human long enough for his subroutines to assimilate normal speech patterns?
In the Romney household, bologna is served on a silver plate, with truffles. It's quick, easy, and convenient — or so say the cooks.
Bozo and Ozone Man. Look it up.
Science!
‘Obamaloney.’ Freud would be pleased. Romney & Co. just can't keep from fixating on Barry's enormous shlong, can they?
What a big, steaming pile of Mitt.
"Mitt's balogna has a first name, it's B-a-r-r-y.
Mitt's balogna has a second name, it's N-o-b-a-m-a.
Oh he loves to beat himself everyday,
And if you ask him why he'll say,
'Cause Barack Obama has a way with O-B-A-L-O-G-N-A !!
Mutt Ramrod
Madge Ringworm
Master Romnabator
Mudman Rentawreck
Muttworth Romnington
Heavy Multtles
Mental Romtardation
I'm still partial to my coining of "Romnelescent." I mean, it's a perfectly cromulent term, I'd think.
Romneo, there he goes again–slipping that date rape drug into America's drink…
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