millions of dollars went into this

‘Romney Hood,’ Then ‘Obamaloney': Dumb Daily Wordplay Race Now a Dead Heat

We’re sure the fancy Madison Avenue Focus Groups have data showing that this stuff works like hot hell, but the President’s brand new haymaker — “He’s Robin Hood in reverse. He’s Romney Hood” — is basically just as hackneyed as a straightforward metaphor comparing a charitable person to Robin Hood. His Super PAC has been using the same line. “Chicago” really loves this shit, huh? Sure, run with it. It’s on message and the copy is marginally snappier than “He’s Robin Hood in reverse. He’s, you know, King John or the Sheriff of Nottingham, the story’s antagonists, who necessarily represent a counter ideology of upward wealth redistribution.” Your Wonkette would pass out laughing if he dropped that, but we’re degenerates.

Our national errand boy, Mitt Romney, had just the right response in the tank: “And if I were to coin a term, it would be ‘Obamaloney.’ He’s serving up a dish which is simply in contradiction with the truth.” The classic American meal of baloney on a dish never tasted so bad, derpa derp. Or perhaps Romney, being weird, intended to draw a comparison between the president and Rep. Carolyn Maloney, to highlight his opposition to generic Democratic policy stances?

Yesterday was more fun.

[ABC News]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
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  1. Come here a minute

    Meanwhile, polls show the voters have a case of "Barackoholism" and are not becoming any more "Romneydirectional".

      1. BoatOfVelociraptors

        Except for the yes men that surround him. There's good money to be made in telling a rich man he's right. The entire business industry press is based on this fact.

        Fluffing a rich guy is how trickle down works.

    1. sullivanst

      Well, things that don't exist are unbreakable, and how much stronger can you get than that?

  2. BaldarTFlagass

    Unfortunately, Obama can't come right out and call a spade a spade (i.e., "My opponent is a fucking asshole"). Romney could call a spade a spade, but that'd probably be crossing over the line and even he isn't that stupid, so he uses the standard issue dog whistles.

    1. zippy_w_pinhead

      see, that's the advantage of the magic Etch-A-Sketch. Don't like a line? Give it a shake and just draw a new one

  3. PuckStopsHere

    I'm sure Mitt Fucking Romney eats fucking baloney every fucking day. I'll bet he picked some up at the store yesterday, right after he got his "hardware stuff."

  4. BaldarTFlagass

    I'm sure Mitt has never tasted bologna in his life. His reference to "Obamaloney" is more likely a takeoff on abalone.

  5. pinkocommi

    Romnipotent – The unlimited power to be an out-of-touch rich asshole everywhere all at once.

  6. SexySmurf

    Then Obama replied by calling him "Shitt Dumbney." And then Mitt called him "Bacock Yomama." And then Obama was all like, "you, me, flag pole 3 o'clock."

  7. Goonemeritus

    When will we finally stop pussy footing around and admit that we will be rounding up anyone richer than me the day after the election.

    1. emmelemm

      Uh, wrong. They'll be rounding up anyone who makes LESS than $250k and putting them in the work camps. For America and Jesus.

  8. Joshua Norton

    You might be a redneck Romney supporter..

    If you're only experience with science is from your common-law wife's meth lab…

    If you're morally opposed to your sister using birth control when you're having sex with her….

    If you have no idea what a 99%er and a 1% because you don't know what math is….

    If every time you go near one of your farm animals, they blow a rape whistle…

    If when watching your girlfriend's state-mandated sonagram, you ask for the remote so you can change it to "Walker, Texas Ranger"…

  9. coolhandnuke

    Mitt's all jazzed after his shopping adventure to connect with the Wal Mart moms. As the inveterate shopper at Romney Manor, Mitt showed the moms how it's done by putting the groceries under the hood and strapping the bag boy to the car roof.

  10. Tequila Mockingbird

    "Obamalogney"? I can just imagine Mittens licking his lips, smiling smugly with cognac and white fish in his belly, and sliding back in his upholstered chair at his own snappy, shoot-from-the-hip, tell-it-like-it-is folk wisdom, right there.

    1. Negropolis

      If by cognac you meant a cup of green tea, and by white fish you meant a baloney on white bread with mayo ('cause mustard has too much kick, of course), I completely agree.

    2. Isyaignert

      There won't be any cognac since he's a Mormon. But wouldn't it be fun to slip him an Alice B. Tokeless brownie?

  11. JackDempsey1

    There should be a Madmen episode where the gang brainstorms this set of lame neologisms, exasperating Don Draper so much that he drinks himself into a floozy and then beds a bottle of liquor, just to change things up a bit.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Yeah, well, they're totally unprepared for Obamageddon. They're gonna be left behind after the Barackture.

      I hope it only happens once – multiple Baracktures are painful.

  12. SorosBot

    Mitt has even less charisma that Kostner's shitty Robin Hood. And at least Morgan Freeman and Alan Rickman made that movie watchable.

  13. anniegetyerfun

    Has someone already created Romney-Romulan mash-up art? I am no good with the Photoshop.,

  14. mavenmaven

    Perhaps he meant ObamaLeone, in a reference to spaghetti westerns for his killing bin Laden? Or Obamazony, something to do with erogenous areas? Would a well dressed man be Obamatony? You know we can do this all day.

  15. Dr_pangloss

    The "Truth" being somewhere between "I Uhhhhhh Errr Pay Lots of Taxes" and "I'll get back to ya. Yeah RmOney "the checks in the mail" doesn't even work for rich people. That bill comes due no matter what.

  16. fuflans

    king john was also an entitled little twerp who went to france, sacrificed his authority, had his party turn against him and died from peaches or poison.

    coincidence? i think not.

  17. BarackMyWorld

    Trying to wrap my head around it…Bologna is a "dish"? What? Has Mitt Romney ever met an actual human long enough for his subroutines to assimilate normal speech patterns?

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      In the Romney household, bologna is served on a silver plate, with truffles. It's quick, easy, and convenient — or so say the cooks.

  18. ttommyunger

    ‘Obamaloney.’ Freud would be pleased. Romney & Co. just can't keep from fixating on Barry's enormous shlong, can they?

  19. kittensdontlie

    "Mitt's balogna has a first name, it's B-a-r-r-y.
    Mitt's balogna has a second name, it's N-o-b-a-m-a.
    Oh he loves to beat himself everyday,
    And if you ask him why he'll say,
    'Cause Barack Obama has a way with O-B-A-L-O-G-N-A !!

  20. mosjef

    Mutt Ramrod
    Madge Ringworm
    Master Romnabator
    Mudman Rentawreck
    Muttworth Romnington
    Heavy Multtles
    Mental Romtardation

  21. Negropolis

    I'm still partial to my coining of "Romnelescent." I mean, it's a perfectly cromulent term, I'd think.

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