HEY DAD I'M IN JAIL  10:53 am August 7, 2012

Will This Republican State Senate Candidate Beat His Opponent, From Jail? Probably, It Is Oklahoma

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

He looks niceWell here is a nice young man, Fred E. Ray Smith, running for Oklahoma state Senate, from jail, where he was taken for warrants and drunk driving and driving without a license or registration, and also he owes so much child support and his ex has a protective order out against him. We assume he is going to win, because “R-Oklahoma.” But let us take a moment to admire what his campaign manager/fiancee, SunShine Fox, has to say about the whole mishegas.

Fox, who is engaged to Smith, said it was a simple oversight that Smith didn’t pay the fines and that Smith has been making regular payments in child support, but recently became unemployed.
Fox said all of Smith’s paycheck goes to child support every month.
“Don’t you wish all men would do that?” Fox said.

Weeeellll …. sure! Sounds like a swell fella! Good on you, SunShine! (Run, girl. Run like the wind.)

Anyway, he is running to represent Ada, which has at least one gas station (we have been there!), but is currently actually represented by a Democrat lady, which is weird. But Okie Dems are a different type of Dem anyway, so don’t worry, your brain does not have to essplode.

[NewsOK]

 

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{ 120 comments }

OkieDokieDog August 7, 2012 at 10:55 am

Le sigh.

Limeylizzie August 7, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Sorry, baby, but on the other hand I had an amazingly torrid 5 year affair of the heart with a man who was originally from Lawton, OK.

OkieDokieDog August 7, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Not all Okie menfolk are bad, but a lot of the ones who are go into politics or become cops.

mc544898 August 7, 2012 at 3:56 pm

hey sorry weird question but did you used to have a bog on open salon? JW?

noodlesalad August 7, 2012 at 10:56 am

But isn't the whole state basically a prison, anyway? I'm pretty sure I've seen people sentenced to 12 years of Hard Oklahoma.

actor212 August 7, 2012 at 11:03 am

Hard Oklahoma sounds like a Tom of Finland travelogue

Typodong3 August 7, 2012 at 11:14 am

Isnt that the ex-pat brother of Hard Gay?

Yeah. You go look that up.

Callyson August 7, 2012 at 11:50 am

Wasn't he in a porno a couple of years back?

imobannon August 7, 2012 at 11:08 am

I'm up for parole soon. Oh, and you're both wrong… Hard Oklahoma is my cell mate.

rickmaci August 7, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Yep. I saw that episode of Lock Up on MSNBC last Friday, too.

Estproph August 7, 2012 at 10:58 am

He looks like March from The Men Of The White Power Movement Calendar.

MumbletyPesto August 7, 2012 at 11:21 am

*fapplause*

But really — I was wondering if this guy's mug is what your average paid party clown looks like without the makeup.

tessiee August 7, 2012 at 11:49 am

But before you get too excited, you should know that Mr. February is Lowell Turpin.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 7, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Are all 12 wearing orange, by any chance? Because that would be a good thing.

Billmatic August 7, 2012 at 10:58 am

Is SunShine Fox a stripper name or what

nounverb911 August 7, 2012 at 11:03 am

G-Stringer for Fox and Friends.

ChillBill August 7, 2012 at 11:10 am

Gretchen Carlson quit?

chicken_thief August 7, 2012 at 11:03 am

Bitch has gotta support her unemployed boy toy, but soon to be state senator, somehow.

Harrison Wintergreen August 7, 2012 at 11:05 am

Can't really tell from her G+ profile. She does appear to enjoy sucking on lemons though.

tessiee August 7, 2012 at 11:50 am

Duckface AND Karl Malden's nose? Not a good combination.

natoslug August 7, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Picking on her for her looks is cruel. It's those little chiclet teeth that are freaking me out.

Billmatic August 7, 2012 at 12:51 pm

I was just bagging on her dumb name, is that still okay?

actor212 August 7, 2012 at 11:12 am

It beats her first name: Mylinda.

cheaphits August 7, 2012 at 11:27 am

Thanx for finding that out, She looks just like an ex-stripper I knew in Little Rock, but her name was Ronnie and Ronnie wasn't very political.

Memories, memories…

Billmatic August 7, 2012 at 11:53 am

That was a MAN, baby.

cheaphits August 7, 2012 at 12:57 pm

No, I don't think so…Did you you see the pic on Google+?

I'm kinda an expert on such things and that's a chick.

rickmaci August 7, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Whole thing seems like some kind of labor/management problem.

Dildeaux August 7, 2012 at 10:58 am

Got a purdy mouf though.

BaldarTFlagass August 7, 2012 at 10:58 am

Ol' SunShine better git that sandwich made and git it down to the pokey; Freddie Ray is gittin' hungry, an' when he gits hungry, he gits angry.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 7, 2012 at 11:37 am

You just know this guy's gonna weigh in at a cool 250 lbs in about 20 years, so why not get started now?

IonaTrailer August 7, 2012 at 12:12 pm

The crystal meth can take care of that.

PuckStopsHere August 7, 2012 at 10:59 am

With his resume, you'd think he'd be the republican candidate for US Senate from Oklahoma.

HistoriCat August 7, 2012 at 11:13 am

Compared to Inhofe or Coburn he's small potatoes. One of them may be grooming him as a successor though …

Barb_ August 7, 2012 at 10:59 am

Sunshine Fox sounds like the kind of gal who planning to wear a tube top to Fred's Senate swearing in ceremony. Not her white one though, that is being kept in her cedar box for their wedding.

chicken_thief August 7, 2012 at 11:10 am

The tube top will give the attendees a great view of her tramp stamp.

Barb_ August 7, 2012 at 11:14 am

"Daddy's Girl?"

actor212 August 7, 2012 at 11:16 am

"Insert Here"

Negropolis August 8, 2012 at 3:06 am

"Juicy"

tessiee August 7, 2012 at 11:57 am
IonaTrailer August 7, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Hey! I posted that site yesterday.

kittensdontlie August 7, 2012 at 11:20 am

By 'cedar box', you mean the cardboard box down by the cedar tree…that sits next to the ford tiempo up on cement blocks…?

IonaTrailer August 7, 2012 at 12:06 pm

The only that matches the pet carrier… http://redneckhumor.com/2009/01/redneck-cat-carri

kittensdontlie August 7, 2012 at 10:38 pm

LOL

actor212 August 7, 2012 at 10:59 am

Gonna be hard kissing babbies from behind bars.

Obviously, he studied at the Joe Walsh "YOU LIE!" School of Politicking. He must have missed the final for "Ducking Jail 101". Core course, too.

nounverb911 August 7, 2012 at 10:59 am

When does Joe Walsh come campaign for him?

BaldarTFlagass August 7, 2012 at 11:01 am

Maybe he's Joe's estranged son. Acorns and trees and falling, etc.

RadioBowels August 7, 2012 at 11:03 am

Right before we vote for Charlie Manson over Obamao.

ChillBill August 7, 2012 at 11:04 am

After The Eagles do their 10th reunion tour?

chicken_thief August 7, 2012 at 11:00 am

I'm sure it's just some sort of mix up and it will all get straightened out. He looks such a nice young man.

BaldarTFlagass August 7, 2012 at 11:00 am

"warrants and drunk driving and driving without a license or registration, and also he owes so much child support and his ex has a protective order out against him."

Well, I don't see how he can lose; he has all the boxes checked in his curriculum vitae to be a Republican legislator.

NorthStarSpanx August 7, 2012 at 11:07 am

Well, there's no infamous misunderstanding in that one gas station's bathroom stall. . .yet.

cheaphits August 7, 2012 at 11:30 am

And no bounced checks…yet.

Biff August 7, 2012 at 11:39 am

No rentboy altercations yet, though…

HistoriCat August 7, 2012 at 11:57 am

I'm worried he may over-qualified.

BaldarTFlagass August 7, 2012 at 11:02 am

Yeagh! A no-soul ginger! I'm only surprised his first name isn't "Donny."

DonnyKerabotsos August 7, 2012 at 11:22 am

HEY!!!

CrunchyKnee August 7, 2012 at 11:03 am

As long as he denies man made climate change for Jesus, that fucker is a lock for the seat.

bflrtsplk August 7, 2012 at 11:11 am

Don`t fergit anti-choice, drill baby drill, war war war and birf surtiphicat. These Repugs sure make it Hard to be so stupid.

ChillBill August 7, 2012 at 11:03 am

To be fair, somebody has to raise the bar in the Republican Party.

IonaTrailer August 7, 2012 at 12:07 pm

I thought that was John Boner at the bar.

Goonemeritus August 7, 2012 at 11:04 am

Not your father’s country club Republican!

I submit this campaign slogan as a small sample of the creative ideas I feel I can bring to the Party.

bflrtsplk August 7, 2012 at 11:12 am

And the Party thanks you, as soon as you send that fat contribution check.

BaldarTFlagass August 7, 2012 at 11:05 am

Well, I certainly hope he's out of the hoosegow in time to get on down to Tampa to fulfill his duties as Republican delegate from OK at the convention.

chicken_thief August 7, 2012 at 11:05 am

Your move, Joe Walsh.

DaSandman August 7, 2012 at 11:07 am

Wasn't he in Oklahoma the musical?

James Michael Curley August 7, 2012 at 12:09 pm

No. That was "Prisoners of Love"

Prisoners of love,
Blue skies above.
Can't keep our hearts in jail .

SayItWithWookies August 7, 2012 at 11:09 am

He's got widespread appeal, what with having all the vices of a big-city lawyer and the clean-cut looks of a Timothy McVeigh — how could Oklahomans go wrong in voting for this candidate?

weejee August 7, 2012 at 11:10 am

♪♫ We don't smoke marriwhojee in Muskogee
We don't take our trips on LSD
We still burn the libtardz down on Main Street
Our politics are wingnutty, whoop whoopie ♫♪

badseeds August 7, 2012 at 11:12 am

What's that banjo music?

hagajim August 7, 2012 at 11:12 am

Doesn't the name SunShine tell you something? Oh – and iis it just me, or does this kid look something like Tim McVeigh?

tessiee August 7, 2012 at 12:04 pm

They all look like Tim McVeigh.
Except the hairy ones; they look like Ted Kaczynski.

Ducksworthy August 7, 2012 at 11:13 am

Well, lets see now. Child support orders and drunk driving laws are artifacts of big gubbermint intrusion into the lives of free citizens so… this deadbeat drunk is a martyr for freedom and should be in the Oklahoma Senate. Makes sense to me…

Not_So_Much August 7, 2012 at 11:14 am

The color orange really brings out the compassion and empathy in his eyes.

sewollef August 7, 2012 at 12:41 pm

John Boehner libel!

decay500 August 7, 2012 at 11:15 am

In OK, every Chik-Feel-A will be a sanctioned voting station. The turnout will be record-setting. Forget that homo crap they put on the ballots to draw in the gomers…. Lipids trump all.

bflrtsplk August 7, 2012 at 11:22 am

A free side of waffle potato fries for the first 50 customers marking their ballots with genuine Chick Fil A grease spots.

bflrtsplk August 7, 2012 at 11:16 am

A guy I knew sent a post card from OK City one time that said: “Destroy this place.“

ph7 August 7, 2012 at 11:16 am

Fox said all of Smith's paycheck goes to child support every month.
“Don't you wish all men would do that?” Fox said..

It's called wage garnishment. It's not a choice. But it also probably explains why he now unemployed, because this super swell guy realized that he got none of the money he earned, just his stupid kids, so he stopped working.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 7, 2012 at 11:40 am

Bingo.

On a related note, how long can it be before GOPtard legislators exempt their paychecks from garnishment?

Joshua Norton August 7, 2012 at 11:19 am

Fox said all of Smith’s paycheck goes to child support every month.
“Don’t you wish all men would do that?” Fox said.

Definitely "Father of the Year" material. Obviously her life is going to be one long Frank Capra movie. As soon as her fiancé gets out of jail, that is.

Terry August 7, 2012 at 11:19 am

He could use his mug shot in his campaign ads, just to show how tough he is. No pansy assed liberal or immigrant would pull one over on him.

actor212 August 7, 2012 at 11:20 am

Say, Editrix? How did you miss this gem on page 2?

Fox said Smith would have to miss a Konawa Tea Party event scheduled for Tuesday night.

Texan_Bulldog August 7, 2012 at 11:22 am

My last name is Fox and it is sometimes hard to combine that surname with a first name that does not make you sound like a stripper. But SunShine's parents appeared to be going full throttle that direction because….well, Oklahoma.

emmelemm August 7, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Megan?

GhostBuggy August 7, 2012 at 11:29 am

He couldn't figure out a way to avoid jail time? What kind of Republican is this?

BaldarTFlagass August 7, 2012 at 11:34 am

I'm just surprised that he's not wearing a "wife-beater" in that photo.

tessiee August 7, 2012 at 11:38 am

Wasn't this an episode of "Judge Judy"?
In fact, wasn't this every episode of "Judge Judy"?

tessiee August 7, 2012 at 11:39 am

Annnnnddd, we have a running mate for Mitt.

sewollef August 7, 2012 at 12:43 pm

He's not a plumber by chance….?

tessiee August 7, 2012 at 11:42 am

"Fox said all of Smith’s paycheck goes to child support every month.
“Don’t you wish all men would do that?” Fox said."

No, I wish all men who have children would a) marry, and b) stay married to, the children's mothers, and be real, full-time partners in making a home and raising their children; instead of keeping their options open so that they can walk away whenever they decide they'd rather be doing something else.
Failing that, I wish all men who have children would support them, instead of getting so far behind in their child support that making up the shortfall took up their entire paycheck.
The only reason this guy isn't a deadbeat dad is because he *was* a deadbeat dad for so long that the court system had to take over his parental responsibilities for him.

Biff August 7, 2012 at 11:45 am

I spent a day and night in OK one time. I was hauling a 14' wide load and couldn't move after dark, so I stopped in Boise City in the Panhandle for the night. Saw the prettiest girl I'd ever seen in my life at the Alsup's Market there. Turned out to be 16 with 3 kids already. Come to think of it, I believe her nametag said Sunshine…

tessiee August 7, 2012 at 11:47 am

Another member of the Wayne Lee Ray club.

IonaTrailer August 7, 2012 at 12:14 pm

You can never have too many first names.

Misty Malarky August 7, 2012 at 11:49 am

I'd hit that.

vtxmcrider August 7, 2012 at 8:42 pm

That look on his face says that somebody did last night.

tessiee August 7, 2012 at 11:59 am

"Fox said all of Smith’s paycheck goes to child support every month.
“Don’t you wish all men would do that?” Fox said."

Ooh, BURN!!
Take THAT, Joe Walsh!
Haw!

randcoolcatdaddy August 7, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Coming soon to a commentator position on FoxNews….

tessiee August 7, 2012 at 12:02 pm

"he owes so much child support and his ex has a protective order out against him"

I blame gay marriage.

Biff August 7, 2012 at 1:19 pm

And we need more tax cuts for the rich.

Schmegeg August 7, 2012 at 12:06 pm

"Fox said all of Smith’s paycheck goes to child support every month."

I call bullshit

Negropolis August 8, 2012 at 3:10 am

I know, right? Like this dude had a job, bless his heart. lol

a_pink_poodle August 7, 2012 at 12:19 pm

BARABBAS! BARABBAS!

Limeylizzie August 7, 2012 at 12:31 pm
ElPinche August 7, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Well well well, look who just a got a Republican Ph.d (orange jumpsuit) .

WordSaladNation August 7, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Doug Peterson: How is it okay for you to bully Ben?
Jonah Takalua: 'Cause he's a ranga.
Doug Peterson: A what?
Jonah Takalua: A ranga, sir. 'Cause he's got red hair. Orangutan, that's what we call him.
Doug Peterson: And does that make it okay for him to be bullied, because he has red hair?
Jonah Takalua: Well, people are racist to FOB's…
Leon: To us.
Jonah Takalua: …So, so we can be racist to rangas!

rickmaci August 7, 2012 at 12:59 pm

"…manager/fiancee, SunShine Fox,…" = poll dancer?

valthemus August 7, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Fred E. Ray? SunShine? Child support?

Suddenly wondering when was the last time I saw "Trailer Park Boys"?

elgin_pelican August 7, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Needs moar neck tattoos.

pdiddycornchips August 7, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Shout out to the Oklahoma Board of Elections for not understanding the meaning of words.

"His campaign got off to a rocky start when Paddack challenged his candidacy, bringing up bad checks Smith was convicted of writing and claiming that constituted embezzlement, a charge that disqualifies someone from running for state office in Oklahoma.
Smith was permitted to keep his name on the ballot by the election board, whose members voted that bad checks were not embezzlement."

Read more: http://newsok.com/oklahoma-state-senate-candidate

barto August 7, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Certainly our Wonkette could have done us the courtesy of posting an image of one SunShine Fox, but no, instead our Wonkette is content to let the imagination run wild.

Monsieur_Grumpe August 7, 2012 at 1:40 pm

He seems nice in a mass murderer kind of way.

annettaj August 7, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Winner, winner–chicken dinner!

BZ1 August 7, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Should be a sho-in.

ttommyunger August 7, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Hmmmm, that face… I'm pretty sure I arrested some of his Missouri kin back in the 60's. Nothing serious, bad checks, DUI, Mockery, Gawkery, Mopery and Mule-Whipping in Public.

fishwharf August 8, 2012 at 12:29 am

Fred can't wait to get out of jail so that he can exercise his second amendment rights with a couple of 100 round clips. I'll bet he has a list of people who really have it coming to them.

HolyCow!! August 8, 2012 at 11:43 pm

Obvious Islamic-socialist-liberal plants. They probably came from the same Kenyan lab where Obama was prototyped. It is scary though. If these new whiter models learn to hide there illegitimate babies and blackmail their way out of petty DUI charges, they will be virtually indistinguishable from real Republicans.

Billmatic August 7, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Talkin about Ronnie, son. ;o)

natoslug August 7, 2012 at 1:01 pm

I'd suggest double-bagging. And triple-wrapping.

cheaphits August 7, 2012 at 1:18 pm

We're friends, just go ahead and call me "boy", for short.

Ronnie was a 22 year old bottomless stripper whom I knew, shall we say, intimately and she was not, is not and never had been a guy.

No, it wasn't short for Veronica…her Arkie parents just had strange taste in names. My fault though, I should have 'splained, I suppose.

emmelemm August 7, 2012 at 3:26 pm

I'm sorry, what's a bottomless stripper? Did she not have a bottom?

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