hey dad I'm in jail

Will This Republican State Senate Candidate Beat His Opponent, From Jail? Probably, It Is Oklahoma

He looks niceWell here is a nice young man, Fred E. Ray Smith, running for Oklahoma state Senate, from jail, where he was taken for warrants and drunk driving and driving without a license or registration, and also he owes so much child support and his ex has a protective order out against him. We assume he is going to win, because “R-Oklahoma.” But let us take a moment to admire what his campaign manager/fiancee, SunShine Fox, has to say about the whole mishegas.

Fox, who is engaged to Smith, said it was a simple oversight that Smith didn’t pay the fines and that Smith has been making regular payments in child support, but recently became unemployed.
Fox said all of Smith’s paycheck goes to child support every month.
“Don’t you wish all men would do that?” Fox said.

Weeeellll …. sure! Sounds like a swell fella! Good on you, SunShine! (Run, girl. Run like the wind.)

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Anyway, he is running to represent Ada, which has at least one gas station (we have been there!), but is currently actually represented by a Democrat lady, which is weird. But Okie Dems are a different type of Dem anyway, so don’t worry, your brain does not have to essplode.

[NewsOK]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

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120 comments

    1. Limeylizzie

      Sorry, baby, but on the other hand I had an amazingly torrid 5 year affair of the heart with a man who was originally from Lawton, OK.

      1. OkieDokieDog

        Not all Okie menfolk are bad, but a lot of the ones who are go into politics or become cops.

  1. noodlesalad

    But isn't the whole state basically a prison, anyway? I'm pretty sure I've seen people sentenced to 12 years of Hard Oklahoma.

      1. cheaphits

        Thanx for finding that out, She looks just like an ex-stripper I knew in Little Rock, but her name was Ronnie and Ronnie wasn't very political.

        Memories, memories…

          1. cheaphits

            We're friends, just go ahead and call me "boy", for short.

            Ronnie was a 22 year old bottomless stripper whom I knew, shall we say, intimately and she was not, is not and never had been a guy.

            No, it wasn't short for Veronica…her Arkie parents just had strange taste in names. My fault though, I should have 'splained, I suppose.

  2. BaldarTFlagass

    Ol' SunShine better git that sandwich made and git it down to the pokey; Freddie Ray is gittin' hungry, an' when he gits hungry, he gits angry.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      You just know this guy's gonna weigh in at a cool 250 lbs in about 20 years, so why not get started now?

  3. PuckStopsHere

    With his resume, you'd think he'd be the republican candidate for US Senate from Oklahoma.

    1. HistoriCat

      Compared to Inhofe or Coburn he's small potatoes. One of them may be grooming him as a successor though …

  4. Barb_

    Sunshine Fox sounds like the kind of gal who planning to wear a tube top to Fred's Senate swearing in ceremony. Not her white one though, that is being kept in her cedar box for their wedding.

    1. kittensdontlie

      By 'cedar box', you mean the cardboard box down by the cedar tree…that sits next to the ford tiempo up on cement blocks…?

  5. actor212

    Gonna be hard kissing babbies from behind bars.

    Obviously, he studied at the Joe Walsh "YOU LIE!" School of Politicking. He must have missed the final for "Ducking Jail 101". Core course, too.

  6. chicken_thief

    I'm sure it's just some sort of mix up and it will all get straightened out. He looks such a nice young man.

  7. BaldarTFlagass

    "warrants and drunk driving and driving without a license or registration, and also he owes so much child support and his ex has a protective order out against him."

    Well, I don't see how he can lose; he has all the boxes checked in his curriculum vitae to be a Republican legislator.

    1. NorthStarSpanx

      Well, there's no infamous misunderstanding in that one gas station's bathroom stall. . .yet.

  8. CrunchyKnee

    As long as he denies man made climate change for Jesus, that fucker is a lock for the seat.

    1. bflrtsplk

      Don`t fergit anti-choice, drill baby drill, war war war and birf surtiphicat. These Repugs sure make it Hard to be so stupid.

  9. Goonemeritus

    Not your father’s country club Republican!

    I submit this campaign slogan as a small sample of the creative ideas I feel I can bring to the Party.

  10. BaldarTFlagass

    Well, I certainly hope he's out of the hoosegow in time to get on down to Tampa to fulfill his duties as Republican delegate from OK at the convention.

    1. James Michael Curley

      No. That was "Prisoners of Love"

      Prisoners of love,
      Blue skies above.
      Can't keep our hearts in jail .

  11. SayItWithWookies

    He's got widespread appeal, what with having all the vices of a big-city lawyer and the clean-cut looks of a Timothy McVeigh — how could Oklahomans go wrong in voting for this candidate?

  12. weejee

    ♪♫ We don't smoke marriwhojee in Muskogee
    We don't take our trips on LSD
    We still burn the libtardz down on Main Street
    Our politics are wingnutty, whoop whoopie ♫♪

  13. hagajim

    Doesn't the name SunShine tell you something? Oh – and iis it just me, or does this kid look something like Tim McVeigh?

  14. Ducksworthy

    Well, lets see now. Child support orders and drunk driving laws are artifacts of big gubbermint intrusion into the lives of free citizens so… this deadbeat drunk is a martyr for freedom and should be in the Oklahoma Senate. Makes sense to me…

  15. decay500

    In OK, every Chik-Feel-A will be a sanctioned voting station. The turnout will be record-setting. Forget that homo crap they put on the ballots to draw in the gomers…. Lipids trump all.

    1. bflrtsplk

      A free side of waffle potato fries for the first 50 customers marking their ballots with genuine Chick Fil A grease spots.

  16. ph7

    Fox said all of Smith's paycheck goes to child support every month.
    “Don't you wish all men would do that?” Fox said..

    It's called wage garnishment. It's not a choice. But it also probably explains why he now unemployed, because this super swell guy realized that he got none of the money he earned, just his stupid kids, so he stopped working.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Bingo.

      On a related note, how long can it be before GOPtard legislators exempt their paychecks from garnishment?

  17. Joshua Norton

    Fox said all of Smith’s paycheck goes to child support every month.
    “Don’t you wish all men would do that?” Fox said.

    Definitely "Father of the Year" material. Obviously her life is going to be one long Frank Capra movie. As soon as her fiancé gets out of jail, that is.

  18. Terry

    He could use his mug shot in his campaign ads, just to show how tough he is. No pansy assed liberal or immigrant would pull one over on him.

  19. actor212

    Say, Editrix? How did you miss this gem on page 2?

    Fox said Smith would have to miss a Konawa Tea Party event scheduled for Tuesday night.

  20. Texan_Bulldog

    My last name is Fox and it is sometimes hard to combine that surname with a first name that does not make you sound like a stripper. But SunShine's parents appeared to be going full throttle that direction because….well, Oklahoma.

  21. tessiee

    "Fox said all of Smith’s paycheck goes to child support every month.
    “Don’t you wish all men would do that?” Fox said."

    No, I wish all men who have children would a) marry, and b) stay married to, the children's mothers, and be real, full-time partners in making a home and raising their children; instead of keeping their options open so that they can walk away whenever they decide they'd rather be doing something else.
    Failing that, I wish all men who have children would support them, instead of getting so far behind in their child support that making up the shortfall took up their entire paycheck.
    The only reason this guy isn't a deadbeat dad is because he *was* a deadbeat dad for so long that the court system had to take over his parental responsibilities for him.

  22. Biff

    I spent a day and night in OK one time. I was hauling a 14' wide load and couldn't move after dark, so I stopped in Boise City in the Panhandle for the night. Saw the prettiest girl I'd ever seen in my life at the Alsup's Market there. Turned out to be 16 with 3 kids already. Come to think of it, I believe her nametag said Sunshine…

  23. tessiee

    "Fox said all of Smith’s paycheck goes to child support every month.
    “Don’t you wish all men would do that?” Fox said."

    Ooh, BURN!!
    Take THAT, Joe Walsh!
    Haw!

  24. tessiee

    "he owes so much child support and his ex has a protective order out against him"

    I blame gay marriage.

  25. WordSaladNation

    Doug Peterson: How is it okay for you to bully Ben?
    Jonah Takalua: 'Cause he's a ranga.
    Doug Peterson: A what?
    Jonah Takalua: A ranga, sir. 'Cause he's got red hair. Orangutan, that's what we call him.
    Doug Peterson: And does that make it okay for him to be bullied, because he has red hair?
    Jonah Takalua: Well, people are racist to FOB's…
    Leon: To us.
    Jonah Takalua: …So, so we can be racist to rangas!

  26. pdiddycornchips

    Shout out to the Oklahoma Board of Elections for not understanding the meaning of words.

    "His campaign got off to a rocky start when Paddack challenged his candidacy, bringing up bad checks Smith was convicted of writing and claiming that constituted embezzlement, a charge that disqualifies someone from running for state office in Oklahoma.
    Smith was permitted to keep his name on the ballot by the election board, whose members voted that bad checks were not embezzlement."

    Read more: http://newsok.com/oklahoma-state-senate-candidate

  27. barto

    Certainly our Wonkette could have done us the courtesy of posting an image of one SunShine Fox, but no, instead our Wonkette is content to let the imagination run wild.

  28. ttommyunger

    Hmmmm, that face… I'm pretty sure I arrested some of his Missouri kin back in the 60's. Nothing serious, bad checks, DUI, Mockery, Gawkery, Mopery and Mule-Whipping in Public.

  29. fishwharf

    Fred can't wait to get out of jail so that he can exercise his second amendment rights with a couple of 100 round clips. I'll bet he has a list of people who really have it coming to them.

  30. HolyCow!!

    Obvious Islamic-socialist-liberal plants. They probably came from the same Kenyan lab where Obama was prototyped. It is scary though. If these new whiter models learn to hide there illegitimate babies and blackmail their way out of petty DUI charges, they will be virtually indistinguishable from real Republicans.

Comments are closed.