harry of the mighty balls

Richard Cohen is a man who writes for the Washington Post. His job, from his past body of work, seems to be to express concern about things, but mainly things that make no sense to be concerned about. You sound smarter that way. Today, Richard Cohen is concerned that Harry Reid has forever taken politics into the gutter by not being Richard Cohen.

Reid is where he loves to be: the center of controversy. He has accused Mitt Romney of paying no taxes for 10 years. Romney denies the accusation and challenged Reid to put up or shut up. In an apparent response, Reid repeated the charges on the Senate floor. Countless aides have echoed their boss. They and he attribute their information to a source they will not name.

Whether such a source exists, really, is beside the point. It could be that someone did indeed tell Reid that Romney paid no taxes for 10 years. Journalists get that sort of tip all the time, and their responsibility is (1) to check it out and (2) identify the source. Reid has not done the latter and apparently has not done the former, either. The truth is that Reid doesn’t really care if the charge is true or not. He would prefer the former, but he’ll settle for the latter.

HAHAHAHA, no, you dumb. Reporters just write down things people say, then get quotes from other people in response to whatever was said. You don’t identify anyone,  you just give them adjectives like “senior” or “inside” or “throbbing.”

Eventually, other reporters give out Pinocchios or Pants on Fireses or something else that reduces all of politics to things you said when you were six, but then everyone on Twitter hates them because they did it wrong and like three months too late.

No, seriously, though, Harry Reid should elevate his discourse to match Mitt Romney, and hold press conferences and fundraisers with his sources for crazy, irresponsible shit. That is a much better way of dealing with things, and at the very least will get you the respect normally afforded Jennifer Rubin, who is currently telling her Hungry Man meal how Mitt Romney will one day warm it and make it yummy.


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  • Come here a minute

    Mr. Deepington J. Throat would like to concur with Richard Cohen.

    • Boojum

      Yes, I'm sure that the States passing laws protecting confidentiality of sources had this in mind, when they did the opposite of what Cohen said. Also too, the reporters who go to jail to protect sources.

  • badseeds

    Also Harry Reid is not funny. And Richard Cohen knows funny.

  • Wow, when did Senator Reid get a promotion to journalist?

    I'm betting he vetted that shit more than Richard Cohen's vetted anything in his entire life.

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      I'm thinking politician to journalist is more of a sideways career move…

      • Catcher v. pitcher, so to speak.

  • zippy_w_pinhead

    poor little villager haz teh sads…

  • DrunkIrishman

    Fortunately, Mr. Romney can end this debate rather easily. I'm sure, since he has nothing to hide, he'll do just that – for Romney is an honorable man.

    • They are all honorable men.

      • Even the chicks.

        • zippy_w_pinhead

          ESPECIALLY the chicks…

          • horsedreamer_1

            Now you have me fantasizing a Mormon ladies drag troupe, the Crossdressing Lady Saints, the Drag Kings.

            I'd live on their celestial endowment.

          • zippy_w_pinhead

            those drag kings are indeed well endowed…

          • Boojum

            Mormon lumberjacks, as it were.

    • i kinda see romney as more of a lepidus:

      This is a slight unmeritable man,Meet to be sent on errands

      especially since that's what he was doing today.

      • Chichikovovich

        Though the JC comparison has this going for it: We come to Wonkette not to praise Romney, but to bury him.

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Yes….it's funny how inexplicably dumb the Romney countercharge is "put up or shut up"….uh, Romneybot…that's your job. So according to Richard Cohen and every other drooling moron hoping for Wallstreet to literally become president it's up to Reid to PRODUCE his source but not Mittens to produce his tax records proving Reid is wrong. Which is even funnier because onstensibly these people are journalists and should know damn well the burden of proof is on Mittens here, not Reid since Reid doesn't have RMoney's tax records. Personally I think Reid should do something hilarious like produce his own tax records and talk down to RMoney "there, there was that so HARD Rombot?"…either way liberals better keep up on this until fuck face does it.

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Yes…not a complete bullshitter who would demand the most illogical end to this entire dispute…I know Richard Cohen is a full of shit moran…but even he should point out how stupid it is to demand the other guy to prove you didn't pay your taxes rather than providing proof that you did pay your taxes which is what you contend. This whole episode is just another reminder of WHY Mitt Rombot is not fit to be President…shit even after releasing his BC multiple times Hopey went and grabbed the long-form to shut wingnuts up…that's how you prove someone wrong…you don't demand they produce proof like Reid has your taxes you stupid hairgel-brained Moroni-Bot.

  • They and he attribute their information to a source they will not name.


    • mrpuma2u

      The Ministry of Magic can neither confirm nor deny but owl traffic is WAY up.

  • Angry_Marmot

    Maybe of the Post was doing its job, Reid wouldn't have to.

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      Glenn Kessler will have to give you four Pinocchios for that comment

    • What? Work?

    • finallyhappy

      The Post keeps letting people who actually work go- so you have the Cohen, Krautie, Rubin- people who write "opinions" rarely based on anything except their own exalted ideas of their own opinions

    • Boojum

      I thought Maybe was with the Times.

      • Angry_Marmot

        I see what you did there. Ffolkes replied before I caught my typo.

    • Negropolis

      Damn, is Angry Marmot gonna have to cut a bitch?

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Hah..if you asked Richard Cohen to do any actual work aside from sit around and tell everyone how funny he is his heart would explode from the perceived exertion of it all. I mean, after Romney said "put up or shut up" I thought no one but Hannity would try to argue the Mittbot actually did the right thing…but this is ridiculous. The guy doesn't even follow logic…maybe it should be explained to him like this: Richard, if you purchase some Cialis and I tell the cashier you didn't actually buy that then the best way to end the dispute is to produce your receipt. You don't demand I prove you DIDN'T buy it and think that's the way to settle it so you can try and save face by not everyone knowing you buy artificial boner pills…it doesn't work like that in a court of law or anywhere…that's what is meant by the saying "burden of proof", moran it's to counter claims with factual evidence, not more claims…

  • viennawoods13

    Here's my question for Mitt Rmoney: You knew since, like, 2002 that you wanted to run for Prez. You knew that Presidential candidates release their tax returns for a bunch of years, because YOUR DAD STARTED IT. You are obscenely wealthy, and can afford to pay taxes and still keep all your houses and the fucking dancing horses. So why the hell didn't you decide to start paying taxes like you should , since that was the price of becoming president, which you appear to want to be? Instead of being such a fucking douche about it?

    • Geminisunmars

      Well, you know, retroactively Mitt is unstarting what his pa started. Since he is his son, he is entitled to do that.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Um, do keep up. The whole point of being filthy rich is to never have to "pay" a "price" for anything, or be held "accountable" for any of your "actions."

      Those are things for "you people" to worry about.

    • Rosie_Scenario

      And apparently, Mittens would rather pay accounting firms large sums of money to avoid paying taxes to the U.S. Patriotism at its finest.

      • GunToting[Redacted]

        He's a Jobs Creator!

        • horsedreamer_1

          His retainer covered several hours of cocaine & oral in the Champagne Room at Score's.

    • PhilippePetain

      He's running to make being a douche acceptable.

    • Negropolis

      'Cause like most people of a certain station, he's a fuckin' cheapskate. As you rightfully pointed out, this is quite literally the cost of running for the presidency if you are well-off, and he wasn't even willing to pay the pennys to avoid this kind of controversy. This man is horrible judgement as if that wasn't already obvious.

  • Would someone explain to Mittens that Harry Reid is neither a journalist nor is this a court of law. Innocent until proven guilty doesn't apply in politics. And Mitt uses that to his advantage all the time.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Well, it's completely different when something is totes true, like when someone says Obama isn't American or is a Muslin or a commie or is going to pry your guns from your fingers before they're cold and stiff.

  • Dicky Cohen a career as a humorless concern troll, concern trolling.

    • And fucking other journalmalists wives….

      it does kind of raise the question: Peter Jennings or albino troll? M, K, or F?

      • Callyson

        You'd think a woman who was able to get with Peter Jennings would at least have better taste when it came to cheating on him. Yuck!

  • RadioBowels

    Yes, when I think of integrity, I think of journalists. And when I think of journalists, I think of Richard Cohen….and Howie Kurtz.

    • Texan_Bulldog

      And everyone at Fox.

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      When I think about you I touch myself

  • Schmannnity

    Reid: Journalist comments on unsubstatiated rumor, pushing story into next news cycle. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    So Harry has to do more due diligence than a political pundit?

    • LesBontemps

      If that bar were any lower you'd need a deep-sea research vessel to find it.

  • Callyson

    Romney denies the accusation and challenged Reid to put up or shut up.

    You know, the person who is in the best position to take Mittens' advice is the person who actually has the tax returns. Just sayin'…

  • noodlesalad

    Reid doesn't care about the truth, but Romney does? Oh, Richard Cohen, you loveable rapscallion. An unnamed source has just reported that you are the darling saint of equivocators and quislings everywhere.

  • SorosBot

    He's angry that Reid doesn't want to kill more brown people, or pass the Kids Get Off Richard Cohen's Lawn Act.

  • spends2much

    Could somebody lock Richard Cohen, Tom Freidman, and David Brooks in a room, so they could… fuck it, just lock them in and throw away the key.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      "Three go in…None come out!"

    • Rotundo_

      I don't think I could be as cruel as to do that, but putting them in exile with nothing a pallet of cheese doodles, beer and kosher beef jerky on some godforsaken island with nothing but a shitty AM radio ala Gilligan's Isle makes me feel all warm and squidgy inside…

  • Callyson

    Oh, and the poll on the right hand side of the WaPo article:

    Does Mitt Romney's refusal to release more of his tax returns make you more or less likely to vote for him?

    Less likely has 65%. Yes!

    • Geminisunmars

      How does one answer that if before you learned about his taxes there was no way in hell you would vote for him to begin with?

  • coolhandnuke

    Isn't a Dick Cohen a question, or statement, which is used in right wing propaganda to provoke the "great doubt", and test a wingtards progress in ignorance.

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      What is the sound of one villager fapping?

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Yes. In a new book on Right Wing Propoganda Logic, they use the Vonnegut notation.

      The symbol for Cohen is the panty.

  • Doesn't the fact that Harry Reid said it, and that it could conceivably be true, mean that it's at least "Mostly True" by fact-checking standards? And doesn't that mean that Richard Cohen deserves All of the Pinocchios for complaining about it?

    Yes. yes it does.

    EDIT: Unless… did I forget about some sort of "Democrat exception"? Dammit, I did.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    Poor Richard Cohen …. he just doesn't understand that the journalistic standards of politicians aren't what they were during the Nixon administration…

  • widestanceromance

    I love it when Reid is driving and Willard gets ridden on top.*

    *I'll be in my vomitorium for the rest of the day.

  • b[redact]opple

    That was awesome. Who are you?

  • hagajim

    How would Richard Cohen know what a journalist does? He's sure never been one.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Since when is it a journalist's job to identify their source?

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      since Howie Kurtz said it was

      • horsedreamer_1

        Robert Novak Libel!!!

    • Negropolis

      Better question is when in the world did Harry Reid become a journalist?

  • Also, Hi, Jesse Taylor!

    • And happy birthday, too.


  • BerkeleyBear

    Columnist who pulls quotes out of ass (then calls them "anecdotes" if challenged) at paper that set standard for not revealing sources thinks a senator has to give up his source? Is the entire media this myopic, self-centered and hypocritical, or is this just a Fox/WaPO/WSJ thing?

    Shit I've seen more than a few people claim to know exactly who tipped off Reid. You'd think someone would follow up on one of them instead of waiting to hear what Mittens might have bought at the the grocery store. Just for shits and giggles.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Is the entire media this myopic, self-centered and hypocritical, or is this just a Fox/WaPO/WSJ thing?


    • Beowoof

      That would mean someone would have to do some work. Journalist don't do that anymore, they play nice with assholes so they can have access, and yet they get told to kiss ass.

  • Geminisunmars

    Okay. Ima gonna admit it. Ima the source. I meant to call in the tip to Wonkette, but got Reid's phone by mistake.

    • HistoriCat

      Rebecca is going to be soooo pissed at you!

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Poor Dickie. Harry has all the insiders aflutter with indignation. How DARE Harry just make shit up–that's their jobs.

  • Baconzgood

    (1) to check it out and (2) identify the source.


  • Pragmatist2

    A little honesty: I couldn't give a flying fajita if Reid is lying or not and I would be proud to say so on national television. This is payback for Swift Boats and Birthers. Make up some stuff and let them prove it isn't true. It is way past time Democrats hit back in kind on this. The only way it will stop is if the wing nuts realize in their lizard brains that they get no net good out of it. And while we are at it, when Obama wins let's close some naval bases in South Carolina and that FBI facility and those prisons in West Virginia.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Yes – as I've said before, I feel like there was a better way to do this, but Dems playing dirty, finally? It feels good.

    • Boojum

      Fuckin' A. What's best is making up shit that they could disprove, by being honest and forthcoming, and then watching them squirm like slugs taking a salt bath.

      Edit: That is, could disprove if it was untrue.

    • If Reid can (finally!) grow a pair…

    • Negropolis

      Yes, yes, and yes. If only for the satisfaction of payback, I fully support Reid on this. And, if the pain is enough to make the right self-reflective about their doing this for years, that's all the better, but I ain't counting on it.

    • Chichikovovich

      Damned straight! And while we're at it, wouldn't all that Federal aerospace and medical research money make more sense directed toward a place like Boston/Cambridge Mass.? (Harvard/MIT not to mention dozens of other colleges and universities; Medical Cluster with Harvard Med School/Mass. General/Brigham + Womens Hospital…) Rather than, say, Huntsville Alabama?

  • JustPixelz

    After being asked a couple million Fux News questions that start with "How do you respond to people who say … ", I'm only surprised it took Reid this long to learn how the game is now played.

    • Difference is the Republicans say things that are delusional and can't EVER be disproved to everyone's satisfaction no matter what the evidence. Kerry gets medals for bravery, but so what because a couple of guys who were there are now saying it didn't happen that way. Obama finally shows his long form birth certificate, but so what because the nutters insist it's "obviously" a forgery.

      In this case, however, it's pretty easy to get at the truth. Did he or didn't he? All Romney has to do is release his taxes to shut Reid up.

  • HogeyeGrex

    Just one more fine instance of our Liberal Media at work.

  • MissTaken

    If only there was a way that Romney could show the public that he either did or did not pay taxes those 10 years. If only.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Alas, we appear to be at an impasse! How, but oh how could Romney prove Harry's accusations wrong?

    • Gleem McShineys

      He could ask Richard Cohen to tut tut the rumors! That would surely do the trick.


    • kittensdontlie

      If only pigs could fly…

    • Negropolis

      Show us the long-form tax filing!

  • LesBontemps

    I just lost 40 IQ points reading a Richard Cohen column. How is this man still typing?

    • Someone hasn't bitten all his fingers off yet?

      • shelwood46

        Cohen once wrote a column where he, in all seriousness, said that if he developed arthritis in his hands he would prefer to die, because he couldn't type anymore. Like, seriously, said he'd commit suicide. So, come on, osteoarthritis, do your stuff.

      • Boojum

        You mean he hasn't bitten his own fingers off?

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      the other 9999 monkeys are picking up his slack

    • Angry_Marmot

      An ironclad contract and compromising photographs.

    • A strange thing happens when he corresponds with David Brooks. I think it's how they rejuvenate.

    • Rotundo_

      My theory is that they have a little yard set up and have phrases laid out in a grid on it. They remove Richard's diaper and when he excretes on a phrase, an intern writes it down. When they want a longer column they feed him extra metamucil. Not unlike Chicken or Cow Bingo! but much less fun to call out the winners.

  • pinkocommi

    You know what OTHER accusations Mittens has denied?

    • LesBontemps


    • anniegetyerfun

      Not the one about running a child sex ring, that's for sure. I read about it on the interwebz, and he's never denied it in public.

  • SexySmurf

    Hey Dickie, Harry Reid doesn't come down to where you work and slap your cock out of your mouth.

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      but he sure wishes he did

  • Which is more important to democracy: Romney divulging his taxes or his bundlers, or Harry Reid divulging the name of the little voice in his head that says Romney is not paying taxes? I'm betting on the first two.

  • I've got a solution. We get Romney and Reid to reach into their magic underwear and pull out their penises. Whoever has the shorter penis has to reveal what the other wants. This is how we always handled things in middle school.

  • HogeyeGrex

    Yes, Mr. Cohen. Politics has just now descended into the gutter. After decades of Swift Boats and Birth Certificates and McCain's black baby and Willie Horton and the smearing of Max fucking Cleland and, and, and…

    Fuck, you're stupid.

    Frankly, I find it refreshing to hear someone on our side once again say "I don't want to call him a pigfucker. I just want to hear him deny it."

  • Look, it's pretty simple. Harry Reid's source is the Romney accountant, the Angel Moroni, who disclosed to him where to find Mitt Romney's Long-Form tax returns. Unfortunately, these tax returns were written in the language of Angels, and are decipherable only with the aid of special pair of spectacles solely possessed by the Senate Majority Leader.

    • kittensdontlie

      What a fanciful tale you have told! You have a future in a modern rewrite of the mormon bible.

  • Richard Cohen is a dope. Of course reporters check out the information they receive, and they identifiy the source, but they do not publish the identity of the source, if the source doesn't want to be named. As he should well know, reporters have been put under the jail for months on end for refusing to name their sources.

    The way the game works is that "respectable" reporters at "respectable" news organizations tell their "respectable" editors who their confidential sources are, so that the "respectable" authority figures in the organization can feel safe about running the information. But they do not feel they have an obligation to publish/broadcast the name of a confidential source — it would actually be unethical to do so.

    Cohen may think the journalists he knows are more "respectable" than Harry Reid, but that's seriously debatable; by journalistic standards, Reid's refusal to name his source is perfectly sound.

  • I'll officially get annoyed with Harry Reid if he keeps repeating this assertion about Mitt's taxes long after Mitt has produced tangible evidence to the contrary. Does that sound fuckin' fair, Donald Trump and Joe Arpaio and Michele Bachmann and Ted Nugent and all you other whiny little birthers out there?

    • Chichikovovich

      I'll get annoyed with Reid if he doesn't keep repeating the assertion after Mitt has produced conclusive evidence to the contrary. I want Reid to then ask for a "long-form" tax return, and to claim that his investigative team has discovered the tax returns produced were not just forgeries but obvious and careless ones, etc.

  • zippy_w_pinhead

    The cult of false equivalence strikes again…

  • JohnyEdge

    I always thought Richard Cohen was just a pompous turd, but now that I know he had an affair with Peter Jennings' wife, I may need to reconsider.

    He may be an immoral pompous turd, which is at least something.

  • Richard Cohen hasn't paid his taxes in 250 years.

    • Indeed. He would have been part of the Boston Tea Party, but that would have meant giving up his nightly games of whist with the British generals.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Barry dropped down 10 years of taxes, and both birth certificates as a part of his vetting.
    Romney was born in Mexico, hasn't shown his birth certificate because he was born in Mexico, and only part of one year of tax returns.

    Let the vett-off begin!

    • TribecaMike

      The right would accept Mitt being born in Mexico a lot more than if he was from El Centro, CA.

    • spends2much

      And the Wingnuts are losing their shit over Obama's college grades . Man, I hope Trump comes to the rescue on that one. It's SO critical that we all have this information…

  • barto

    That Harry Reid just wallows in controversy, don't he? Like when he, uh, zzzzzzzzzz.

  • Nostrildamus

    Journalists get that sort of tip all the time …

    Cohen just wants you to think that people call him sometimes.

    • Boojum

      This is not the kind of tip Richard Cohen swallows.

  • mavenmaven

    "In real life, a senator from Nevada is a jerk. His name is Harry Reid…The soaring rhetoric that Obama used in his first campaign has come to ground in the mud of Harry Reid’s latter-day McCarthyism."

    McCarthyism? Accusing Romney of not paying taxes is like a communist witch hunt? And don't those right wingers love McCarthy? I'm confused.

  • lobsterboy22

    Is Harry the Majority Reporter Leader, too? In both the former and the latter?

  • Isner_Mahut

    Jesse Taylor?? Pandas of the world unite!

  • OneYieldRegular

    Republican behavior towards Barack Obama over the last four years completely invalidates their right to be indignant now about unfounded allegations. Not one of the leaders of the GOP courageously stepped up and said "Stop this disrespectful nonsense." Now they're all frothing at the mouth because the tables have made a slight turn.

    • lobsterboy22

      At the mouth's not the only place they're frothing. Just ask you-know-who.

  • Beowoof

    A journalist who knows very little about journalism. Just the guy republicans want writing about Washington.

  • horsedreamer_1

    I'll name the source: the Mormon Church. There are still Dems among the LDS (Reid, those tree hugging Udalls), but more, there are actuaries who are pissed Romney isn't tithing against his real income. Between those two strata of Saints, prolly the money handlers, though, somebody snitched out Willard.

    Now, I want to see Mitt taken before Congress, where he can do his best Tron. FIF!!!!1!!!!

  • TribecaMike

    Cohen sounds like one of those types who uses obscure crossword puzzle words like "alit" in daily conversation. Or am I thinking of George F. Will? Never could tell them apart.

    Bring back Jack Anderson!

  • Gorillionaire

    I have a dear friend who is a photo journalist who has won awards and been everywhere in terrifying situations to bring us news about our world that is informative and illuminating. She was laid off four years ago and hasn't had a news gig since. Meanwhile, Richard Cohen probably gets a six figure salary to poop his pants for the WaPo.

    • TribecaMike

      A friend of a friend did great work for several years for the NY Times' Metro section until the great Times employee purges of a few years ago. She gets regular gigs for internet news sites now, but among other unhappy things says that it just isn't the same as working in a large badly lit room with vets who still reeked of printers ink and newsprint. Having worked meself as a paste-up mechanical artist for years until computers arrived on the scene — and then with those damn computers until so many newspapers and magazines either became outsourced or simply vanished — I know exactly how she, and if I may your friend, feels.

  • DahBoner

    check it out

    He can't. Romney won't let him.


  • MrsConclusion

    Mitt Romney telling Reid to put up or shut up about Romney's not disclosing things is a Monty Python sketch on Bizarro world. Also too, Reince Priebus ™ calling Reid "a dirty liar" in defense of Romney, Suzerain Of Untruth and King of All Liars, is to laff.

    I've been begging (on Facebook) for the Dems to bait Romney and goad him into putting all eight feet in his mouth. I hope Reid keeps it up. Even though this is still spring training.

  • Romney can't put this issue behind himself fast enough. I mean apparently he really can't, whatever is in those returns or non-returns is more damaging than all the damage that's being done by the question hanging out there day after day. That's really saying something. 1/6th the man his father was.

  • Negropolis

    Reid is where he loves to be: the center of controversy.

    Really? For real? You mean right off the bat, Dick says something that has no basis in truth? I mean, right at the beginning?

    Where was the media when people were making baseless allegations about the president's birthplace? How long did they let that shit go on before they called bullshit? That's right; it went on for years before they squashed that shit. Harry Reid finally turns the tables on the Republicans with baseless speculation and all of a sudden he's the Worst Person in the World.

    Our media has not serious, and this is yet another stark example of their double-standards. They don't care. The mainstream media can kiss my ass; I'm tired of this.

    • TribecaMike

      The press — television, radio, internet, what have you– is bought and sold for by a few megacorporations. I'm still waiting for any of them to cover that story. AJ Liebling was writing about it in the early fifties. His collection of New Yorker pieces, "The Press," is more relevant now than ever, and I highly recommend ordering it from your library. Content aside, no reporter ever wrote as well as Liebling.

  • crybabyboehner

    He better be careful or Harry Reid will DEMAND AN APOLOGY!

  • Misty Malarky

    I think Mittens was the source. He really doesn't want to be president after all.

    Besides, it's hard work.

  • Buzz Feedback

    "Jennifer Rubin, who is currently telling her Hungry Man meal how Mitt Romney will one day warm it and make it yummy."

    All the desperation of JRube distilled into one sentence. Well done!

  • ttommyunger


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