GOD IS IN HIS HEAVEN  3:51 pm August 6, 2012

How Many Stupid, Stupid Lawmakers Do We Have in Congress, Imperiling Very Existence of Life on Earth?

by Kris E. Benson

sad polar bearExactly how many stupid, stupid people do we have in Congress these days, toiling away in the world’s most deliberative lawmaking body, making decisions that will probably imperil the very survival of the human race? And of these stupid, stupid people, how many are willing to talk to reporters and make good and sure that there is a RECORD of their stupidity for posterity? Turns out, quite a few!

Republican lawmakers say this year’s harsh weather that has produced devastating wildfires and the most widespread drought in 50 years has not changed their minds on climate change.

With more than a month left, the summer of 2012 is on pace to be one of the three hottest since 1950, according to an analysis by WeatherBank and AccuWeather. In June, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration announced the preceding 12 months in the continental U.S. had been the warmest since record keeping began. Many Republicans on Capitol Hill point out that weather is inherently cyclical.

“I think the science suggests you have to have long-term trends, not one-year droughts,” said Rep. Tim Huelskamp (R-Kan.), noting his district saw worse conditions in the 1950s and 1980s and “variability in the drought is not unusual.”

Don’t ever say that the GOP is anti-science because Representative Tim Huelskamp (R-Koch), used the word science in a sentence, so there! Anyway, why worry about any of this when it’s up to God?

In a floor speech last Monday, Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-Okla.) said, “Look at the patterns. It gets cold, it gets warmer, it gets colder, gets warmer. God is still up there, and I think it’ll continue in the future.”

See that? It’s because of God, who is still “up there,” causing all these droughts and wildfires and whatnot.

While polls indicate that most people believe that the Earth is warming as a result of human activity, Republicans say they are not being pressed on the matter back home.

“I’ve heard a lot about the drought,” said Rep. Tim Griffin (R-Ark.), “but I have not heard one thing connecting this to climate change.”

To be fair, it’s hard to hear information connecting droughts to climate change when you have no interest in listening, or alternatively, when Bernie Sanders is the one talking about it, RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE. It’s probably fine though! Turns out that the earth will probably only warm by about six, maybe eleven degrees within the next 50 years, that’s all, causing a “mass extinction of almost all life and probably reduce humanity to a few struggling groups of embattled survivors clinging to life near the poles.” No biggie. But then we’ll see who is right, and who is dead, and then all get together over the smoldering ruins of our civilization, look back at this, and laugh!

[The Hill]

 

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{ 161 comments }

nounverb911 August 6, 2012 at 3:53 pm

All of them, Katie.

randcoolcatdaddy August 6, 2012 at 3:54 pm

“I’ve heard a lot about the drought,” said Rep. Tim Griffin (R-Ark.), “but I have not heard one thing connecting this to climate change.”

It's hard to hear anything with your head stuck up your arse for two decades.

Antispandex August 6, 2012 at 4:04 pm

It gets hot, it gets cold, who can figure it out?

RadioBowels August 6, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Two decades?
I clearly remember the prediction of greenhouse gases in the early 1970's. Oh yeah, science can't predict anything.

CommieLibunatic August 6, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Oil company dicks in your ears can make you a bit deaf, too.

nounverb911 August 6, 2012 at 3:55 pm

The good news is, Oklahoma's burning and it's all Inhofe's fault.

Come here a minute August 6, 2012 at 4:03 pm

I blame Cheerios.

Not_So_Much August 6, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Does that mean that God, like the rest of us, fucking despises Inhofe?

OkieDokieDog August 6, 2012 at 4:20 pm

I also blame Gov Mary Fallin. She's not praying hard enough for rain.

Callyson August 6, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Exactly how many stupid, stupid people do we have in Congress these days

I'd say AOTK, except some of them are in state legislatures, governor's mansions, and black robes.

Mittens Howell, III August 6, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Is that polar bear gay? That bear looks gay. Get me to a Chik-fil-A, pronto!

zippy_w_pinhead August 6, 2012 at 5:21 pm

the rainbow ice flow gave it away, didn't it?

weejee August 6, 2012 at 3:56 pm

May the Flying Spaghetti Monster poop Ragù™ all-over the poopyheads of these Republican poopyheads.

YasserArraFeck August 6, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Congress – the longest continuous fart* ever recorded.

*Fart n. a noisy stream of hot air, laced with bullshit

nounverb911 August 6, 2012 at 3:59 pm

When does it spontaneously combust?

YasserArraFeck August 6, 2012 at 3:59 pm

not soon enough

Baconzgood August 6, 2012 at 3:56 pm

These people would be lighting a cigar on the cinders of your burnt down house if there was a buck in it for them. Makes me sick.

(this comment is 100% snark free)

coolhandnuke August 6, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Don't these republican lawmakers know that "Waterworld" is a documentary?

emmelemm August 6, 2012 at 3:59 pm

At the end, when you see that big ship is the Exxon Valdez, I LOL'ed.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 6, 2012 at 4:01 pm

I'm hoping for a Mad Max kind of ending.

Generation[redacted] August 6, 2012 at 4:37 pm

I dunno. Dennis Hopper saying, "Ain't we a pair, Raggedy Man" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

metamarcisf August 6, 2012 at 4:13 pm

"Flintstones" is the only documentary they are interested in.

JustPixelz August 6, 2012 at 4:31 pm

They seem to know "Who's Nailin' Paylin?" is a documentary. Maybe that's why they like her so much — she comes across as very "likeable" in that film.

Angry_Marmot August 6, 2012 at 4:44 pm

They cleaned her up for the film version.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 6, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Fuck me.

Nostrildamus August 6, 2012 at 4:37 pm

They're on it.

Angry_Marmot August 6, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Boy, context really is everything, isn't it?

SorosBot August 6, 2012 at 3:57 pm

I just the wildfires could target only the houses of moron global warming denialists.

MissTaken August 6, 2012 at 4:00 pm

That's the nice thing of tornadoes and hurricanes, they tend to smack those who don't believe in them.

Oh, it's moran you moran.

SorosBot August 6, 2012 at 4:06 pm

How could I not be aware of all internet traditions.

YouBetcha August 6, 2012 at 3:57 pm

These dumb fucks from states with 4.618% literacy need to sit their asses down and let actual scientists do the talking. Don't be acting like you know shit about climate science, hillbilly clown.

IonaTrailer August 6, 2012 at 4:02 pm

JED CLAMPETT LIBEL!

OkieDokieDog August 6, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Jim Jebus Inhofe don't need no stinkin' science! God killed them dinosaurs for him to get money from oil companies!!11!!! Okie's lub their Big Oil Call Girl!

tessiee August 6, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Science? Science explains things better than the bibble, therefore science is eeeevulz and must be abolished, because we can't take the competition freedumbz.

Callyson August 6, 2012 at 3:57 pm

It’s because of God, who is still “up there,” causing all these droughts and wildfires and whatnot.

Yeah, if you atheists would just simmer down, we'd cool off in no time…

Mittens Howell, III August 6, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Hey God, how come WE all have to get burned by THEIR stupid?

veritass August 6, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Yea, but have these fancy pants "scientists" considered THE SUN? Or the fact that water EVAPORATES? Or SEASONS? Or how BIG the Earth is? Have they even thought about SNOW? What about HAIL, those are giant balls of ICE.

I rest my case.

mlle_derp August 6, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Is that a suitcase you're resting? Moving inland to avoid the floods, huh?

MissTaken August 6, 2012 at 3:59 pm

God is still up there, and I think it’ll continue in the future

Sorry, God ain't 'up there'. But now a nuclear-powered all-terrain vehicle with lasers sure as hell is.

CrunchyKnee August 6, 2012 at 4:04 pm

I wonder why no one in the "lib'ral" media mentioned that if the rocket had malfunctioned in earth's atmosphere the entire southern hemisphere would have been blanketed in nook-a-lur radiation?

JustPixelz August 6, 2012 at 4:09 pm

I think he was talking about the people living on the 12th floor.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 August 7, 2012 at 3:32 pm

What he's referring to of course are big money donors, that's all the Gawd these assholes know.

pinkocommi August 6, 2012 at 3:59 pm

“I’ve heard a lot about the drought,” said Rep. Tim Griffin (R-Ark.), “but I have not heard one thing connecting this to climate change.”

Rep. Griffin's hearing would be greatly improved if he removed his fingers from his ears and stopped repeating "nah-nah-nah-nah-I-can't-hear-you-nah-nah-nah-nah."

BaldarTFlagass August 6, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Well, his constituents are all from Arkansas, so there's that to take into consideration.

tessiee August 6, 2012 at 6:58 pm

"stopped repeating "nah-nah-nah-nah-I-can't-hear-you-nah-nah-nah-nah.""

Although with those half a dozen oil company CEO dicks in his mouth, it *does* sound awfully mumbly.

nounverb911 August 6, 2012 at 4:01 pm

"summer of 2012 is on pace to be one of the three hottest since 1950,"
Except in Seattle.

emmelemm August 6, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Hey! It was feckin' hot yesterday!

Pithaughn August 6, 2012 at 4:17 pm

It was hot at Jazz Alley though, smoking hot.

Come here a minute August 6, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Mass extinction is always good for lolz.

CheeseBro69 August 6, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Is this the point where we just give up, accept the end of the world and in engage in massive amounts of unprotected sex whilst high on every drug imaginable?

pinkocommi August 6, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Cool. I'm down. And I'm hot for a pregnant lady :)

actor212 August 6, 2012 at 4:09 pm

I find your thoughts very interesting and would like to research them further. Is there perhaps an email list I can join or URL I might obtain?

Fred_Wertham_Jr August 6, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Did I start early?

glasspusher August 6, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Starting early is OK. Finishing early is considered bad form.

Barrelhse August 6, 2012 at 4:50 pm

AGAIN??!

pinkocommi August 6, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Weather gets cold. Weather gets warm. You can't explain it.

Goonemeritus August 6, 2012 at 4:02 pm

“Turns out that the earth will probably only warm by about six, maybe eleven degrees within the next 50 years”

Suddenly my decision to eat a lot of red meat and drink intemperately seems totally rational.

YasserArraFeck August 6, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Sen. Inhofe, why don't you shove your pattern "up there", where the sun don't shine?

Antispandex August 6, 2012 at 4:02 pm

"How Many Stupid, Stupid Lawmakers Do We Have in Congress, Imperiling Very Existence of Life on Earth?"

I can never remember the answer to this one! How, many Tea Party / Republicans are there again? Then you add the pandering Democrats, factor in the election year, carry the one…

emmelemm August 6, 2012 at 4:02 pm

I believe that answer is 535.

Antispandex August 6, 2012 at 4:06 pm

THANK YOU! Guhh, I hate math.

MinAgain August 6, 2012 at 4:02 pm

I think it's about time that Mother Earth voted a few of these bozos off the island.

anniegetyerfun August 6, 2012 at 4:03 pm

It’s probably fine though! Turns out that the earth will probably only warm by about six, maybe eleven degrees within the next 50 years, that’s all, causing a “mass extinction of almost all life and probably reduce humanity to a few struggling groups of embattled survivors clinging to life near the poles.”

So… should I be buying guns?

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 6, 2012 at 4:07 pm

And maybe a nice compound in Alaska somewheres.

GunToting[Redacted] August 6, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Make sure said place is on pontoons and you have a plane to get there, because the thawing "permafrost" is causing things like buildings and the roads to sink into the ground.

hagajim August 6, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Guns and water and fire extinguishers?

LesBontemps August 6, 2012 at 4:35 pm

I'm gonna buy a meth lab in Wasilla. 'Cause that's an investment that pays dividends now, too.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 August 7, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Especially now that Bristol is back in Wasilla…there'll be a shitload of new business from her and Guido.

CrunchyKnee August 6, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Yep, invisible sky daddy cares for all of us. Well, not atheists, teh gehys, the browns or the "other." Yep, invisible sky daddy cares for Oklahoma and Texass dwellers, ah reckon.

hagajim August 6, 2012 at 4:20 pm

If he only cares for them – he's kind of screwing the pooch isn't he?

Willardbot9000_V2.5 August 7, 2012 at 3:36 pm

true…I mean according to these idiots evolution cannot be possible because we're all created in God's image yet we have to pray to Jeebus or we're not God's children. Now try and unravel THAT kind of circular logic and you might be able to explain how they hate non-whites and non-Christians so much….

slithytoves August 6, 2012 at 4:03 pm

I'd like to see these asswipes enjoy the summer's heat and be going through menopause at the same time. Bet they'd rally to save the planet then.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 6, 2012 at 4:03 pm

I am comforted by the fact that the people in Arizona and Texas will die before me. Sorry new Mexico! Sucks to be you.

not that Dewey August 6, 2012 at 4:13 pm

We'll take one for the team.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 6, 2012 at 4:15 pm

That's the spirit!

HistoriCat August 6, 2012 at 4:37 pm

You're saying that now but wait until we all show up to crash at your place on our way further north.

spends2much August 6, 2012 at 4:03 pm

We are dealing here with idiots who don't "believe" in evolution because they've never seen a monkey give birth to a human. If palm trees spontaneously sprout on the Tundra Grifter's front lawn, they'd still chalk it up to "God's will". You can't cure this kind of stupid. But you can vote it the fuck out of office!!!!

IonaTrailer August 6, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Keep swimming polar bears…

actor212 August 6, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Hm, I wonder…what if we moved all those polar bears down to the synchronized swimming pool in London. Two problems, one solution.

Billmatic August 6, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Honestly there's really nothing we can do about it.

actor212 August 6, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Boy, give them credit for bloody-minded consistency…while they burn in the very fires they've created.

fartknocker August 6, 2012 at 4:05 pm

I find this discussion amusing. Down the road from the Senate Rotunda, the Department of Defense has a whole group of scientists who are figuring out how climate change will impact military operations. Imhofe, for all his bravado and bullshit, is nothing more than a fluffer for API and the American Coal Council.

JustPixelz August 6, 2012 at 4:06 pm

…noting his district saw worse conditions in the 1950s and 1980s and “variability in the drought is not unusual.”

Thank God he won't be asking for any disaster relief funds. (Really, thank God for being up there, creating those not unusual droughts.)

SayItWithWookies August 6, 2012 at 4:06 pm

When even the head of a Koch-funded study to refute climate change concedes that it's happening and that human activity is the cause, you know just how poisonous these so-called "facts" can be to a good ideology. It's no wonder our lawmakers want to stay as far away from them as possible.

MumbletyPesade August 6, 2012 at 4:20 pm

"Waiter — there's some facts floating around in my bowl of vichyssoise vicissitudes!"

SayItWithWookies August 6, 2012 at 4:24 pm

"What are they doing in there?"

"Looks like the backstroke."

actor212 August 6, 2012 at 4:06 pm

With more than a month left, the summer of 2012 is on pace to be one of the three hottest since 1950, according to an analysis by WeatherBank and AccuWeather. In June, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration announced the preceding 12 months in the continental U.S. had been the warmest since record keeping began. Many Republicans on Capitol Hill point out that weather is inherently cyclical.

Just once, I want a reporter to challenge climate pronouncements made based on the weather by saying something like "You haven't had a heart attack today, yet you still take your Lipitor daily."

Trannysurprise August 6, 2012 at 4:06 pm

When these fucktard red southern/heartland states turn into deserts I hope they don't think they are moving to where us blue people live.

slithytoves August 6, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Amen Brother/Sister.

emmelemm August 6, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Unfortunately, they have most of the guns, so they'll be taking over our lush forest paradises. Assholes.

GunToting[Redacted] August 6, 2012 at 4:23 pm

S'ok, as all of our "lush forest paradises" are burning down.

emmelemm August 6, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Not our perpetually saturated Northwest forest paradises. (Yet. Give it 50 years.)

actor212 August 6, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Ah, let 'em bring their guns and shit. We laugh at them. We have cab drivers.

Jus_Wonderin August 6, 2012 at 4:14 pm

I plan to retire on my (louisiana) farm in Mad Max style. Do we "need another hero"?

Edit: I see I was not the first to say this but I still plan to retire in this style.

Eve8Apples August 6, 2012 at 5:16 pm

We have to start a marketing strategy to discourage them — government sponsored, FEMA, librule, re-edumacation, Moozlin camps required of all new citizens in blue states, or everyone in a blue states must get gay married, or banning NASCAR, guns and crappy, cheap beer in all blue states.

PubOption August 6, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Coming soon Pabst Red (State) Ribbon.

mavenmaven August 6, 2012 at 4:08 pm

I'm sure Romney and friends have already bought the prime polar real estate, and are circulating these denial stories in order to really drive up their value when the rest of the earth is uninhabitable.

GunToting[Redacted] August 6, 2012 at 4:24 pm

I'm sure you snark, but many folks are excited about the thawing Arctic Oceans, which will open up drilling and mining, as well as provide shorter shipping routes, reducing their costs.

Angry_Marmot August 6, 2012 at 4:55 pm

And when they do, they'll find Dick Cheney has become a wendigo and is waiting for them…

Jus_Wonderin August 6, 2012 at 4:10 pm

HANG IN THERE BABY!

DahBoner August 6, 2012 at 5:17 pm

We're all kittens hanging on by two claws…

outragedcitizen August 6, 2012 at 4:10 pm

From what I've seen of the human race lately, extinction maybe isn't such a bad thing.

BaldarTFlagass August 6, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Well, there certainly would be a great collective sigh of relief from the rest of the living beings on earth. Except maybe dogs and cats; who's going to open the cans?

actor212 August 6, 2012 at 4:30 pm

That's why I got me a polydactyl. He's working on it. I told him he could be king of cats if he figures that out.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 6, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Cats that can open cans can also wield knives.

tessiee August 6, 2012 at 9:08 pm

"That's why I got me a polydactyl."

What, those caveman birds?

Eve8Apples August 6, 2012 at 5:18 pm

I'm starting to think that I won't mind death so much as long as I get to live long enough to watch the stupid, climate change deniers die a slow, painful death before I do.

widestanceromance August 6, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Two humans and two quarters don't add up to a dollar.

actor212 August 6, 2012 at 4:12 pm

“I think the science suggests you have to have long-term trends, not one-year droughts,” said Rep. Tim Huelskamp (R-Kan)

Psst, dude, it's been two years in your own district. I'm sure the farmers who actually plant shit would tell you that.

DahBoner August 6, 2012 at 5:15 pm

No, he's talking 4B years, including the ones too inhospitable for non-bacterial life…

Joshua Norton August 6, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Republicans are white trash immorality on a grand scale. People who are ridiculous and yet dangerous, laughable but cunning, and really, really stupid.

not that Dewey August 6, 2012 at 4:14 pm

a few struggling groups of embattled survivors clinging to life near the poles —
LET'S GO!

BaldarTFlagass August 6, 2012 at 4:20 pm

What, Poland is exempt from climate change?

not that Dewey August 6, 2012 at 4:47 pm

They would have made some ice to replace the melting Arctic region, but they forgot the recipe.

TribecaMike August 6, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Sometimes an oil derrick is just a phallic symbol.

Esteev August 6, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Can I vote for the polar bear?

Fraudulently_Joe August 6, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Honestly, we should be glad they don't believe that global warming is caused by man's activities, because if they did, they'd almost certainly blame it on the gays.

widestanceromance August 6, 2012 at 5:26 pm

See also, "atheist powers.'

ChillBill August 6, 2012 at 4:17 pm

To fight the global warming agenda, wingnuts will burn down the Weather Channel headquarters.

RadioBowels August 6, 2012 at 4:17 pm

HELLO, it's the atheists fault.

OneYieldRegular August 6, 2012 at 4:18 pm

By "up there" Jim Inhofe means the penthouse offices of Exxon-Mobil headquarters.

hagajim August 6, 2012 at 4:19 pm

I fucking knew that Zeus was going to get around to hurling his lightling bolts and that damn Apollo is flying to close to the planet as well. Where's a good soaking courtesy of Poseidon when you need it.

RadioBowels August 6, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Glad to see Mitt's going to be wearing more flip-flops.

mlle_derp August 6, 2012 at 4:37 pm

That list seems awfully short…

HateMachine August 6, 2012 at 4:23 pm

If there's any good news, it's likely that everything I've read recently indicates that China's leadership realizes their country is poisoning the entire planet, so to the extent that they can stop burning a hojillion tons of coal per hour without their society completely collapsing, they will probably try to get their green on. And they don't have all this pesky "voting" slowing their national decision-making down.

Don't expect much, though, because there is almost no possible way they can kick their coal habit. Oh, damn, that wasn't very good news after all.

Blueb4sinrise August 6, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither ……….uhhhhhhhhhh……..
Oops, they're gone.

GortRay August 6, 2012 at 4:25 pm

When the earth becomes a giant cesspool of seething hellishness the god-fearin' church-goin' repugs will be raptured to the cool cool meth lab of heaven, so they don't give a shit.
I loathe and detest them with every cell of my body.

mlle_derp August 6, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Wow- a lot of this country's looking pretty thirsty:
http://www.wunderground.com/maps/us/Humidity.html

TribecaMike August 6, 2012 at 4:37 pm

On the bright side, at least many southern states have turned blue.

mlle_derp August 6, 2012 at 4:39 pm

I always wanted to live in a blue state, & finally I do…

natoslug August 6, 2012 at 6:29 pm

My apologies to N. California — I've had my dehumidifier cranked up all day to try to get this room down to 60% r.h.. I didn't realize what I was doing to the rest of you.

viennawoods13 August 6, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Great, I am right on the line where pale blue turns to pale green. Not a surprise if you see my lawn, though.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 6, 2012 at 4:33 pm

I'm thinking if this all works out just right the Puget Sound should end up looking something like Greece or Southern Italy does now. That's not so bad. Sucks for the rest of you in the giant desert!

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 6, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Come on. If climate change, etc. were real, why would NASA be spending all this money to fake a landing on Mars to distract us all from God's truth?

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 6, 2012 at 4:35 pm

You guys can stop worrying. The zombie apocalypse is going to happen way before we need to worry about any of this global warming nonsense.

TribecaMike August 6, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Republicans are the zombie apocalypse.

mlle_derp August 6, 2012 at 4:41 pm

I blame the cereal killers with their blowtorches.

pdiddycornchips August 6, 2012 at 4:41 pm

You know who else lives up north and has vast experience clinging to poles?

TribecaMike August 6, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Flick after a triple dog dare? http://www.pointimaging.com/wp-content/uploads/20

Barrelhse August 6, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Quinn?

Angry_Marmot August 6, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Canadian strippers, eh?

tessiee August 6, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Jenna Jameson?

horsedreamer_1 August 7, 2012 at 12:33 am

Molotov?

Nostrildamus August 6, 2012 at 4:41 pm

I think the problem is too much burning breakfast cereal.

Barrelhse August 6, 2012 at 4:43 pm

If Inhofe and his supporters are among the first to go then I'm fine with the whole thing.

KeepFnThatChicken August 6, 2012 at 4:46 pm

When we said we were trying to protect the earth, we were lying. We admit it now.

We're trying to protect everyone, you assholes.

TribecaMike August 6, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Frickin' bible nuts don't even know their own manual:

If anyone speaks in a tongue, two — or at the most three — should speak, one at a time, and someone must interpret.
But if there is no one to interpret, let each of them keep silent in church and speak to himself and to God. (1 Corinthians 14:27-28)

In other words, shut the frick up.

Eve8Apples August 6, 2012 at 5:07 pm

I just want those inbred idiots living in the Redneck Riviera to drown first so I get the pleasure of watching them die as a result of their own stupidity.

DahBoner August 6, 2012 at 5:13 pm

God is still up there…

Please tell me this cretin isn't a GYNO…

bravo_sierra August 6, 2012 at 5:26 pm

The Pacific Northwest seems to be one of the few places in the country that isn't starting to resemble a circle of hell, climatically speaking. Almost as if forcing loggers to stop chopping down all the forests a few decades ago saved not just the spotted owls but ourselves.

tessiee August 6, 2012 at 9:11 pm

"The Pacific Northwest seems to be one of the few places in the country that isn't starting to resemble a circle of hell, climatically speaking."

And politically speaking.

CivicHoliday August 6, 2012 at 6:02 pm

I used to honestly think that the big fat "I told you so" would be worth it in the end, when the Republican climate-change deniers lost their constituencies to crippling drought and coastal flooding, and the only one left to vote them into office were roaches and deer ticks. Alas I think that even then they will continue to deny the science, so at this point I'm just hoping that Curiosity finds evidence of intelligent microbial life on Mars and some of it will hitch a ride on an asteroid to come back here and become our benevolent overlords.

TootsStansbury August 6, 2012 at 6:56 pm

The roaches and deer ticks are smarter than the people who vote for these fuckheads.

BZ1 August 6, 2012 at 6:55 pm

The GOP is trying to embrace science? sort of?

tessiee August 6, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Red states requesting Federal aid in
5…
4…
3…

C_R_Eature August 6, 2012 at 7:16 pm

"We could have saved the Earth but we were too damned cheap."
-Kurt Vonnegut

Baba_NinjaCat12 August 6, 2012 at 7:25 pm

That's great news for my investment of building a resort hotel by the Arctic Ocean coast. In 20 years, the area will become a pleasant and balmy tropical climate while the mid-latitude and down to the equator will become a hellish desert wasteland. Keep up the ignorant work, stupid legislatures. Plus, I will even start a tour of the underwater city of New York.

TribecaMike August 6, 2012 at 11:30 pm

You just know the MTA will charge $45 to go from Bay Ridge to 14th Street on the submersible subway and say it's a good thing for the straphangers.

tessiee August 6, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Also, Al Gore is fat and lives in a house.

lulzmonger August 7, 2012 at 8:16 am

Shorter Inhofe: I say millions in Exxon perks, you say 30 pieces of silver … spends just as good either way, suckers.

Anyone got any good cactus recipes? AFAF.

ttommyunger August 7, 2012 at 8:00 pm

And yet we keep sending them back to D.C.

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