where is your god now?

In Wake Of Temple Shooting, Pat Robertson Strikes Ecumenical Note: ‘It’s The Atheists’

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We never thought we would live to see the day when gross old perv Pat Robertson declared that whether worshiping at a Baptist church or a Sikh temple, all believers were worshiping God. The fuck you say! Luckily, Robertson immediately restored our faith in him by explaining all these horrible massacres are committed by (who else?) ATHEISTS.

Yes, as we all know, atheists are Satanists (?) who do all the church murders and arsons and whatnot, because that is just a Science Fact. The news that the nice fellow who shot up the Sikh temple in Wisconsin is a White Power aficionado, and that most of the white power groups consider themselves to be some bizarre form of Christian, surely broke too late for Robertson to have seen it. Otherwise, obviously, he would not have blamed atheists, but would have gone with the objectively true “let’s not rush to judgment” instead.

[TruthWinsOut]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

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  • nounverb911

    Robertson's still okay with burning Mosques though.

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    WWJBA: Who Would Jesus Blow Away?

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Oh my day is complete. I just needed hear what this crazy oldz suit has to say.

  • Baconzgood

    But I thought it was because God hates gay abortions.

    • bikerlaureate

      The atheist-satanists (heh) are instruments of God's judgement, even though they don't believe in (the right) God. Like hurricanes.

      • LesBontemps

        Fred Phelps, is that you?

        • bikerlaureate

          That's the unkindest thing anyone's said to me this afternoon.

          Don't take it out on me – the logic is as clear as the fuzz on your stupid simian face.

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    Better a pious pagan rather than an atheist!

    • ChernobylSoup

      Robertson's pulling for the Alawites (Alawis) in Syria because they're the god-craziest.

    • CommieLibunatic

      When was the last time you donated your precious type O blood for no other reason than it being the right thing to do, Patty mah boy?

  • DaSandman

    Why hasn't he been rendered into glue yet?

    • nounverb911

      Rafalca's on the list ahead of him.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      The rendering plant has standards.

    • widestanceromance

      Render unto Elmer that which is Elmer's.

    • Grokenstein

      Clearly, Satan still has much work for him to do.

  • metamarcisf

    See that hole right under Pat's nose? You put your weed in there.

    • LesBontemps

      Explains the holes in his head.

  • FNMA

    Pat Robertson? I thought he was dead.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Pretty fuckin' close.

  • 1stNewtontheMoon

    Onward Atheist Soldiers? Wait, that's not right.

    • sewollef

      Yes, it is. Praying to Jeebus in your foxhole, will still get you and your crew chewed up like chowder by a bunker buster.

      Shock and Awe, Newt…. Shock and Awe.

  • Baconzgood

    I liked the the douche bag setting his box of Buzz Bee on fire better.

  • Oblios_Cap

    His God sure is a dick.

    • CommieLibunatic

      Didn't he say so himself? Something about being a jealous and vengeful god?

  • One_who_wanders

    I have started and deleted this three times so far because of our guidelines – I am reduced to large bags of salted rat dicks for him.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I got deleted today, too. Mom would be so proud.

  • Goonemeritus

    As a devout Great Rudyist I feel totally affirmed, Suck it Deists.

    • montreal_bruin

      Would that be Rudy from "Fat Albert & the Cosby Kids?"

      • Goonemeritus

        No he is derived from a composite Jamaican Rude Boy or Rudie which became Rudy. Think the Desmond Deckker song 007.
        " 0-0-7
        At ocean eleven
        And now rudeboys have a go wail
        'Cause them out of jail
        Rudeboys cannot fail
        'Cause them must get bail

        Dem a loot, dem a shoot, dem a wail
        A Shanty Town
        Dem a loot, dem a shoot, dem a wail
        A Shanty Town
        Dem rude boys out on probation
        A Shanty Town
        Them a rude when them come up to town
        A Shanty Town

        • horsedreamer_1

          Sweet relief! I thought you meant you had deified Giu9ia11i.

          • Goonemeritus

            We know from the song that Rudeboys cannot fail, hence infallible. Obviously the same claim can’t be made for Giuliani after his 2008 primary.

        • montreal_bruin

          What was I thinking? Rudy Can't Fail, too, also. Carry on . . .

  • OkieDokieDog

    Fuck that ignorant fuckwad. People like him are the reason why I'm proud to be an atheist. And I'm not out killing people because of their religious beliefs.

    Satanists? Seriously, Pat? Are you stuck in some crappy 80's movie or what?

    • sewollef

      Exactly.

      I wear my 'A' with pride while riding the NY subway to work.

    • cromiller

      Maybe he just saw House of the Devil?

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    This makes me want to burn a bowl of All-Bran

    • kittensdontlie

      Damn those theists! How devious they are! If only we athiests had a god who could wreak havoc upon them and their children…(you know, floods and the usual garden-variety pestilence).

  • Come here a minute

    The murderer's defense will be "Chick-fil-A poisoning". Damn technicalities.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    Robertson is like one of those cloistered japanese soldiers who doesn't know the war is over. Only his jungle is the 700 club.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      There is one Japanese ritual I wish he would exercise on himself………………

      • widestanceromance

        I really think so.

        • emmelemm

          Not that one.

          • widestanceromance

            I didn't really think so.

      • http://wonkette.com Tangled sin tax

        Becoming a Master Baker?

    • Steverino247

      Hiroo Onoda libel!!!

  • SoBeach

    I've said it before and I'll say it again, never underestimate the power of a unifying scapegoat.

    If someone like Robertson can get the stupidest 5% of every religious faith all psychotically afraid of athiests think of the money he'll make. And he won't have to deal any wussified accusations of religious intolerance, either. It's perfectly okay.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I'm still trying to figure out how to have a couple of million people send me $1 each.

      • SoBeach

        Obviously you're missing the sociopathic grifter gene.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        You'd probably be better off taking a page out of Bernie Madoff's playbook.

      • Biff

        Do they still make matchbooks?
        1)Buy ad space, "for more info send $1 to Oblios-Cap @…"
        2)???
        3)Profit!

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    Pat Robertson is just jealous because the Westboro Baptist Church said something public about the mosque shooting before he did.

    • widestanceromance

      Who wouldn't be pissed if the WBC was driving Heckle Bus Tours in front of their house?

    • Pennywhistler

      Which mosque was that, now?

  • Oblios_Cap

    People that send that shitheel money deserve to lose it.

  • SoBeach

    I'd trust my kids, my atm card, and my girlfriend with my atheist friends long before I'd trust them with any of the fundies I know.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    My Jesus is armed to the teeth, Pat.

  • ThankYouJeebus

    I'm really missing Jerry Falwell today.

    • Baconzgood

      Yeah. They used to play off each other almost as good as Abbott and Costello.

      • Come here a minute

        But they're both the fat one.

    • widestanceromance

      When JF died, I remember hoping that it hurt like hell and he lost his faith an hour before it happened.

  • new_pic_for_NEWTer

    History makes a lot more sense now thanks to old fuckhead.
    All the evil in the world is just atheists doing false flag stuff to discredit religions as part of a millenia old long con.

  • SorosBot

    Yes, it's just horrible how us atheists keep forcing right-wing fundamentalist Christians to keep committing acts of domestic terrorism.

    • 1stNewtontheMoon

      Like force-feeding their borderline diabetic children fundy fried chicken like some pathetic foie gras farming coop? My head hurts.

    • PsycWench

      I can't figure out how I can hate that God I don't believe in, though.

      • anniegetyerfun

        It's harder to get Christians riled up if the most you can say is that atheists feel indifferent about God.

  • Local_Mojo

    I blame America's LIBERAL gun laws.

  • YasserArraFeck

    What the Jeebus Pixie fails to register is that if one doesn't believe in "God", it's unlikely that one believes in "Satan". But I suppose if you can accept a Socialist Fascist, an Atheistic Satanist isn't too convoluted a concept to get your small head around.

  • Billmatic

    Well at least he stopped blaming the gays.

  • YouBetcha

    Oh just fucking go meet your damn savior already, old man.

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    But who is protecting our God given Second Amendment rights? The Atheists, that's who!

    Can I get a amen!

    • Oblios_Cap

      amen

    • CommieLibunatic

      Our God-given right to wield the Devil's Invention.

      In other news, a recent high-resolution scan has found my brain to be implausibly full of fuck.

      • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

        How can it be the devil's invention, when along with high explosives, it is the best way to get rid of Muslims?

    • DahBoner

      A men? Is God gay or in the Navy???

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    All in favor of gluing a turban to Pat’s head, applying some Boehner Brand spray on tan and letting him loose on the Arkansas County Fair’s Bring Your Loaded Gun Day say aye.

    • Baconzgood

      Metaphorically, of course.

      • Monsieur_Grumpe

        He brings out the evil atheist in me. Sorry.

        • HistoriCat

          The devil made you do it.

    • ChernobylSoup

      Oddly enough, county fairs are some of the few venues in Arkansas where you can't bring firearms. I blame the atheist liberals.

    • CommieLibunatic

      Convert him with votes!

  • pdiddycornchips

    Pat Robertson gives me the creeps. Maybe it's the contrived inflection in the way he speaks or maybe it's the way he hunches his shoulders inward. I don't believe in the devil but if I did, I imagine he would look a lot like Pat Robertson.

  • edgydrifter

    If Robertson had replaced "atheists" with "Disney characters," it wouldn't be any more of a lie than it already is.

    • PubOption

      Pat's more likely to blame the teletubbies, especially the gay one.

  • Callyson

    What, no blame for the feminists and the gays? Robertson's getting soft in his old age.

  • widestanceromance

    I became an atheist specifically for these powers to impact innocent lives miles away from me. Once I realized being a ghey only enhanced my powers, I became even more powerful. You've all seen what we can do to tall buildings, although we did get assistance from some feminists for that parlor trick.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I once had a trick in my parlor.

      • widestanceromance

        Did you enjoy stimulating intercourse about the events of the day?

    • bikerlaureate

      Which of you called the Joos to get 'em to vacate the tall buildings before the boom-boom?
      (I read that on the internet)

      • widestanceromance

        We just said there was a sale at Filene's in midtown. [ducks]

        • sewollef

          Good job you didn't send them to Century 21…

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Our religious freedoms are being taken away by all these laws forcing us to coexist with foreign pagan religions.

    • bikerlaureate

      And nonreligions.

      This country was founded on religious freedom, so long as the citizens chose correctly.

  • JCE1985

    As an atheist, I am prone to mass murders because I lack morality because I'm not subject to the same evolutionary standards of altruism and group cooperation like the rest of humanity and I certainly hate the very thing I believe not to exist!

  • MissTaken

    I've never killed a person, I'm an atheist fail.

    • Baconzgood

      You need some kerosene and a box of Ohio Blue Tips. C'mon get on the ball here.

    • widestanceromance

      Please return your badge to the nearest Atheist Temple, Miss.

    • bikerlaureate

      Presumably the posting guidelines frown on suggesting a few "people" for you, but certainly we have faith in your ability to apply yourself to new challenges…

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I thought killing someone was part of the initiation into atheism, like a merit badge or something?

      • MissTaken

        Nope, the real test is given a scale of lame to super-rad, where do you place this:
        http://photoblog.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/08/06/131

        • Nostrildamus

          Orbitergasm !!

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          HEATHEN TEMPTRESS!

          No one takes a picture of Jesus' landing craft!

        • SorosBot

          Totally radtacular awesomesauce, dude.

        • Whatever

          Bitchen!!!!

      • danielwalldammit

        Just kittens.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I don't think that prohibits you from making a list, now does it MT?

    • http://www.toastcat.com Fred_Wertham_Jr

      My Atheist Dad killed a buncha Nazis back in the day. Does that count?

    • danielwalldammit

      May the IPU forgive you.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    What's Pat's answer to hating people not like us? Hating people not like us.

  • ph7

    A friend of mine got paired up with Pat Robertson's son on a foursome in Virginia Beach. Pat's son apparently plays a lot of golf because his Dad is rich, and he doesn't have to worry about working too hard, just sit on Boards and things. Anyway, my friend, who is pretty conservative himself, said Pat's son made extreme racist comments the whole round, focused particularly on blacks, and appeared not to be self-conscious about it any way – like that's just the way people talked.

    Not sure of the point, except to say I think he is his father's son.

    • SorosBot

      So does his father also enjoy sordid foursome orgies on Virginia beaches?

      • viennawoods13

        Just the thought of Pat Robertson in a foursome is enough to make me toss my cookies. ewwww. Come on girl, focus on George Clooney….oh, and it's a foursome, so I guess Ewan McGregor too!! And hmmm… does the fourth have to be female? Or can I add another guy?

        • HistoriCat

          I think you're supposed to volunteer to be the fourth in this scenario.

          • viennawoods13

            Well yes, but me + George + Ewan= 3. Pat Robertson is not invited.

        • TribecaMike

          Let's hope Kirk Cameron didn't read that. Just to be on the safe side, you might want to avoid answering the doorbell for a few weeks.

    • emmelemm

      Yeah, I got as far as "foursome" and I was imagining something different.

      • widestanceromance

        Yeah, same here. I almost punched the screen in my brief but intense rage.

      • SorosBot

        I'm still not sure what else "foursome" could possibly refer to – sort of like when the other day when Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones said, “I’ve been here 23 years. I’ve been here when it was glory hole days and I’ve been here when it wasn’t. And, so, having said that, I want me some glory hole. So I have that perspective.”
        http://sportsblogs.star-telegram.com/cowboys/2012

        • horsedreamer_1

          Charles Haley stories get me misty, too.

  • Misty Malarky

    Some solemn goombah on CNN yesterday was proclaiming it was "Too Soon" for any serious gun control discussion (i.e. talkinging trash about the rabid NRA gun nuts).

    So I'm expecting the NRA's solution is to arrange one of these massacres every couple of weeks so it will be perpetually "Too Soon" to discuss it.

    • slithytoves

      That was Don Lemon. I thought he was being a total ass – also said it was too soon to talk about whether it was a hate crime or racist, or terrorist, in which case, what the fuck was there to talk about after you reported it? He was trying to come across as being level-headed, I think, but just sounded like a weeny who didn't want anybody to get controversial. Honestly, we're not allowed to even mention gun control anymore.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    If all these Sikhs were packin' heat, this would have never happened.

    • emmelemm

      I'm sure they could fit guns into those turbans…

    • PubOption

      According to CBS news, one did try to take a kirpan to a gun fight.

  • coolhandnuke

    Oh National Weather Service people, please give the next massive hurricane that hits the Atlantic seaboard the name Robertson.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    this is what happens when you boycott god's own chicken franchise.

  • Misty Malarky

    "Reds or Yellows Blacks or Whites
    They are centered in His sites"

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ MumbletyPesade

    If you think Christian calling is to imitate Jesus, Pat, you're failing specTACularly. If it's to Play God by prematurely meting out the sentence before the freakin trial, you've merely joined the throng of haters your popularized God, rumor has it, despises.

    Thus coining a new phrase. No longer "nominal Christians" but nominal indignants. Your righteous indignation holds no water when your ranting resembles every other blame-monger in this secular world.

    • montreal_bruin

      Another Wonketteer came up with "Christains," which I've totally stolen.

  • PsycWench

    the Republican 11th commandment: There is no tragedy but that thou shalt blame it on atheists.

    • danielwalldammit

      Well times being what they are a concession has been made for blaming liberal Christians and/or New Agers from time to time.

  • Antispandex

    "the nice fellow who shot up the Sikh temple in Wisconsin is a White Power aficionado…"

    And no one knows him at Robertson's "church"? That is really hard to believe…but, I guess anything is possible…no, wait, that's not strictly true, there are somethings that aren't possible, but why quibble? Philosophy is unimportant here. What is important, is Pat and his money religion….and, apparently, Sikhs. For now.

  • Nostrildamus

    Pat needs to burn in a box of flaming Cheerios.

  • mavenmaven

    I'm sorry, but the way he's sitting and moving in that chair makes me think he's got a little something soiling his Depends.

  • Allmighty_Manos

    I blame Odin.

    • IceCreamEmpress

      Odin's eye is on the sparrow.

    • Negropolis

      I blame Canada, what with their Mounties and syrup and poutine and such.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Logic! How does it derp?

  • WIDTAP

    Fox Spews blames Obama for inciting white violence with his reverse racism is 3…2…1….

  • idrobny

    whyy is anyone listening to this old buzzard? he has been diagnosed with dementia by the publi years ago. my adice to pat? time to lay down & die. then you can be in heaven with all the boys. (notice, no women allowed in the deluxe boxes.)

  • a_pink_poodle

    FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Fraudulently_Joe

    Yeah, well, liberals noted the reports that it was a white guy, and jumped to the conclusion that it was some sort of right-wing, white supremacist acting out violence against Sikhs because they were brown.

    So, both sides do it!

  • Esteev

    What Pat is really mad about is that atheists don't give him $$$.

  • MinAgain

    Oops. I guess we shouldn't have blamed the Church for killing all those people during the Inquisition.

  • James Michael Curley

    There are stories coming out that this current tragedy at the Sikh Temple was done by a guy who was complaining about Muslims when he started firing. Have we reached the point where these people are so stupid they don't even know who they are hating?

    • widestanceromance

      As long as there is hate in your heart, you are among family in the church.

    • MinAgain

      Yes.

  • JustPixelz

    If only someone else in that Sikh temple had had a gun…. (sighs)

    </snark>I noticed this consistent meme in the news coverage that Sikhs are often confused with Muslims. As if, in some jingoistic way, that explains what happened or makes it understandable. And today a mosque is burned in Missouri.

    When the wingers rant about attacks on religious liberty over birth control, they should start by ranting about actual, physical attacks on religious liberty by the haters — some of whom, if you ask me, are inside that big tent they brag about. (I'm looking at you Michele.)

  • BaldarTFlagass

    So, it's the atheists, who don't believe in God, but they are also Satanists, which would lead one to assume that they believe in the Devil? Dis mofo's crazy.

  • TribecaMike

    I see CBN finally bought some software that masks Pat's drool. Unfortunately, even Industrial Light & Magic doesn't have the CGI technology to mask his repellent puss.

  • DahBoner

    Genesis 1:26. Let us make man in our image…

    Obviously, they were worshipping God's evil twin brother, "Cheney"…

    • Negropolis

      You do not even realize how controversial even within Christianity (particularly early Christianity) that particular verse is. lol

      • DahBoner

        Yes, some people believe you should only refer to The Big Dick as "Lord Darth Cheney", Master of the Dark Side, but that's too long for most…

  • arihaya

    American education system are so bankrupt, its wingnuts can not event differentiate between Muslims and Sikh

  • Barrelhse

    Pat, PLEASE rush to Judgement.

  • redarmyzombie

    Pat Robertson, you can go shove a Kirpan up your ass!

  • horsedreamer_1

    Considering Oak Creek is rather quickly becoming Milwaukee's East Los…, the amazing thing is the shooter managed to target people who aren't Mexican.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    The U.S. is no different than any other country in percentage of nutcases but the ready availability of ordnance sets it apart!!

    • horsedreamer_1

      If I could marry a gun, I would.

  • StealthMuslin

    Not enough bags of dicks in the world…..

  • ttommyunger

    Breitbart called, Pat. He's looking for a roomy.

  • danielwalldammit

    It's a story he will tell regardless of the facts. This event is little other than another scene in which he can make the characters of his grand narrative play their respective roles. Truth does not enter into it.