THE PARTY OF IDEAS  11:11 am August 6, 2012

What ‘Dramatic’ Something Will Mitt Romney Use To Save The Economy? Tax? Cuts?

by Jim Newell

New fashions from the Romney RecoveryMitt Romney will fix the economy. Okay. How. Well, now, let’s just hold on a minute and take things one step at a time. The first step is to say that he “can absolutely make the case that now is the time for something dramatic.” Once he has furthered the case that he can absolutely make the case for something, then we’ll move on to step two: he will make the case that he can make the case that he will make the case for something. Now hold your horses, this won’t happen overnight. When it does happen, he will make the case that a case will be made for something. And then the case will be made for more tax cuts, which will spur further pushes for tax cuts and the profits for the small business jobs and such and money.

Mitt Romney said yesterday that he opposes further fiscal spending or monetary stimulus, which we had some indication he might say since that is his well-known position. What he will do, however, is save the economy by doing something.

Mitt Romney is calling for “something dramatic” to help the economy recover, but he’s not saying exactly what.

The Republican presidential candidate says he opposes another federal stimulus package and new government programs. He also says that if the Federal Reserve were to undertake another “massive” program of buying government bonds and mortgage-backed securities, with the goal of driving long-term interest rates even lower, it wouldn’t help the recovery.

“I can absolutely make the case that now is the time for something dramatic and it is not the time to grow government. It’s the time to create the incentives and the opportunities for entrepreneurs and businesses big and small to hire more people and that’s going to happen,” Romney said an interview aired Sunday on CNN’s “State of the Union.”

A senior source familiar with Romney’s thinking who does not exist and requested anonymity for fear of endangering his nothing tells Wonkette that Romney’s weighing the following dramatic ideas for economy-saving.

  • Defund NPR

A handsome list of policy proposals. But the crux of all of Romney’s budgetary and macroeconomic plans, of course, is his plan for 20 percent marginal tax rate cuts across the board while maintaining revenue-neutrality by closing upper-income loopholes and deductions. As has been obvious from the instant he announced this at one desperate point or another during his primary campaign, and as confirmed more sciencey-like last week by the Tax Policy Center, he would only be able to maintain revenue-neutrality for such sweeping rate cuts by going after the biggest middle-class deductions. Shorter version: His plan would raise taxes on all but the very rich. Shorterer version: The thing, the fucking thing. And it would have a dramatic effect on the economy.

[Yahoo/AP]

 
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{ 205 comments }

nounverb911 August 6, 2012 at 11:12 am

The Mormon church finally audits Mitt and collects it's full tithe?

mlle_derp August 6, 2012 at 11:47 am

Maybe the IRS will get its tithe?

Boojum August 6, 2012 at 12:27 pm

It is very simple. He will cut taxes, as indicated. Legislation to close loopholes will stall in Congress. Deficits will soar, putting more money into the economy, mostly in the hands of the rich. Deficit spending will spur growth, in the least efficient, most unfair way possible. However, Romney and the Richies will get credit for a deficit backed recovery while they take ownership of the rest of our stuff.

Generation[redacted] August 6, 2012 at 12:44 pm

And crowds will chant USA USA USA and talk about how much better America is now.

freakishlywrong August 6, 2012 at 11:13 am

Lying is dramatic.

Lascauxcaveman August 6, 2012 at 11:43 am

I dunno, he makes it seem pretty boring.

mlle_derp August 6, 2012 at 11:48 am

Yeah- 'Romney' & 'dramatic' aren't words that comfortably fit in the same thought pattern.

bikerlaureate August 6, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Yessss. He's so proficient at it that the impact is lost.

Then again, he is proficient at something, so we got that going for us, which is nice.

actor212 August 6, 2012 at 11:50 am

Needs moar gopher

Oblios_Cap August 6, 2012 at 11:14 am

Mitt Romney is calling for “something dramatic” to help the economy recover, but he’s not saying exactly what.

I'm betting that it's losing the election.

pinkocommi August 6, 2012 at 11:44 am

Let's hope his loss is not dramatic. A blowout by Obama would do nicely.

Puffperney August 6, 2012 at 11:45 am

Hope you win that bet!

PsycWench August 6, 2012 at 12:18 pm

I plan to help him in that regard.

PsycWench August 6, 2012 at 12:23 pm

May "something dramatic" be to 2012 what "maverick" was to 2008.

deanbooth August 6, 2012 at 11:16 am

Excuse me for being childish.

weejee August 6, 2012 at 11:20 am

Is that a dill d'oh that Mittens is holding?

Baconzgood August 6, 2012 at 11:42 am

We don't tolerate childishness here. And we don't accept cheap photo shopped photographs to make mittens the butt of a joke….Tee-hee…I just typed "butt"

SorosBot August 6, 2012 at 11:16 am

Remember how John McCain had his secret plan to get bin Laden, which he wouldn't share with anyone but totally would work? To bad we didn't elect him since Osama is still alive and well today.

nounverb911 August 6, 2012 at 11:17 am

His secret plan was to lose and let Barry do it.

BaldarTFlagass August 6, 2012 at 11:22 am

This plan worked well for Nixon/Vietnam/1968 election.

SorosBot August 6, 2012 at 11:24 am

His secret plan involved secret messages to South Vietnam to undermine LBJ's peace negotiations; a plan which worked well for Reagan too when he undermined Carter's attempts to get the hostages home from Iran.

Ducksworthy August 6, 2012 at 11:43 am

So, you're suggesting that treason is a tried and tested GOP campaign strategy?

Lascauxcaveman August 6, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Treason: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

James Michael Curley August 6, 2012 at 1:03 pm

It is well accepted that the conduit was Siro Agnew to Anaa Chenault to Nguyen Van Thieu and I have, since that story surfaced in the late 80's suspected that Agnew was thrown under the bus in the hopes that the story would not surface. When Big Mihn was attempting his comeback in 1971-1972 he knew too much and despite being in exile knew too many people from the Diem-Nixon click. Graft by a former Mayor in Baltimore, County Executive and Vice President, even in 1973, was not an especially alarming charge while the earliest of the Watergate Stories were brewing. On the other hand, treason was.

ChillBill August 6, 2012 at 11:31 am

Walnuts' plan was to kamikaze himself into Bin Laden's mansion.

Generation[redacted] August 6, 2012 at 11:37 am

See if I'd known that, I would have voted for him.

Wait, what, Sarah who?

fuflans August 6, 2012 at 11:52 am

i think the difference here is that jammakin didn't have a plan. i think romney actually has a plan. he just doesn't dare tell the american public what it is.

(this is not snark, sorry).

SorosBot August 6, 2012 at 11:57 am

I think Romney does have a plan, but it's to use the economy as an excuse to push through a bunch of right-priorities like cutting taxes for the rich while slashing government benefits for the rest of us which actually hurt the economy and will plunge the US back into full recession; just like in the UK, Spain, etc.

fuflans August 6, 2012 at 12:02 pm

yup that's exactly what i was suggesting (in my snarkless way). i think they're gunning for the big entitlement programs – and dare not say it out loud.

and npr of course.

Gratuitous World August 6, 2012 at 11:16 am

dramatic?

Let Detroit Go Bankrupt?

Ducksworthy August 6, 2012 at 11:44 am

Yeah. Its not too late you know. I'm sure his pals at Bain would help out.

mlle_derp August 6, 2012 at 11:51 am

Along with all the other cities where he doesn't own a home.

smashedinhat August 6, 2012 at 11:16 am

Who's on second? No, who's on first! Yadayada.

hagajim August 6, 2012 at 11:17 am

Dramatic…what's dramatic about giving jerb creatorz more of their monies while making sure those of us who buy stuff have less?

ChillBill August 6, 2012 at 11:17 am

"I am pro-choice. My opponent is multiple-choice."

– Ted Kennedy in 1994 debating Mitt Romney

actor212 August 6, 2012 at 11:18 am

Or "fill in the blank," like a Mad Lib.

We can call them MittLibs™

MumbletyPesade August 6, 2012 at 11:17 am

I'm still waiting for him to finish making-the-case etc. ad infinitum to his handlers as to who his running mate shall be.

ETA: Dewey beat me to it. The belatedly sought Wonkville headline indicates Rafalca's handlers have taken over where Mitt's left off.

mlle_derp August 6, 2012 at 11:57 am

If I'm not mistaken, Beth Myers, the woman who's supposed to be in charge of the veep selection, is another part owner of Rafalca. I believe she was one of the 3 women who gave the horse a standing ovation while the rest of the audience rolled their eyes & cursed rich Americans with too much money & too much time on their hands.

She's like Ann's sister wife.

James Michael Curley August 6, 2012 at 1:06 pm

So with Rafalca's growing stature as stud the handlers will do to him the same thing they have been doing to Mitt.

Oblios_Cap August 6, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Rafalca is 15-year old mare with "a milk chocolate coat, raven tail and white socks above three of her hooves

No stud work for her!

rmontcal23 August 6, 2012 at 11:17 am

Oh gawd – those jeans! Eye bleach, plz!

lobsterboy22 August 6, 2012 at 11:23 am

It's called a tumblehome. Maybe he thinks it's attractive?

Wadisay August 6, 2012 at 11:51 am

What makes them awful is the Mormon hijaab underneath.

IonaTrailer August 6, 2012 at 1:02 pm

His testicles have atrophied from grandpa jean abuse.

BaldarTFlagass August 6, 2012 at 11:17 am

Looks good to me, sign me up!

actor212 August 6, 2012 at 11:17 am

He is personally going to purchase the state of Ohio and outsource it to China.

nounverb911 August 6, 2012 at 11:19 am

I'd be okay with that if he relocates Boehner too, also.

actor212 August 6, 2012 at 11:21 am

He does, roughly every twenty minutes or so. His orifices don't stretch so good anymore.

Preferred Customer August 6, 2012 at 11:40 am

And by "personally" you mean "take out a loan backed by the State of Ohio to pay for his acquisition of the State of Ohio." He will personally receive a small, large management fee for thinking of this idea, in perpetuity.

sewollef August 6, 2012 at 12:33 pm

"He is personally going to purchase the state of Ohio"

Hmm…. I didn't know about this. Are there any other states up for sale? There's a couple I might be interested in….

BaldarTFlagass August 6, 2012 at 11:18 am

"Mitt Romney is calling for “something dramatic” to help the economy recover, but he’s not saying exactly what."

Bring back Feudalism?

lurker_above August 6, 2012 at 11:53 am

Come and see the violence inherent in the system.

MosesInvests August 6, 2012 at 12:09 pm

" "Ow d'you know 'e's the king?"
" 'E 'asn't got sh*t all over 'im."

BaldarTFlagass August 6, 2012 at 11:19 am

You know who else did something dramatic to bring his country back to economic viability?

nounverb911 August 6, 2012 at 11:21 am

Herbert Hoover?

actor212 August 6, 2012 at 11:23 am

Count Rupert Mountjoy of Fenwick?

metamarcisf August 6, 2012 at 11:24 am

Charlie Sheen?

Oblios_Cap August 6, 2012 at 11:27 am

Zaphod Beeblebrox?

TootsStansbury August 6, 2012 at 11:26 am

Pinochet?

Ducksworthy August 6, 2012 at 11:46 am

I think you've guessed it. Kill the unions and loot the social security trust fund. That's a proven winner.

mlle_derp August 6, 2012 at 11:59 am

Somewhere Milton Friedman's ghost is smirking…

sewollef August 6, 2012 at 11:27 am

Augusto Pinochet?

RadioBowels August 6, 2012 at 11:27 am

Ho Chi Minh?

ChillBill August 6, 2012 at 11:29 am

Borat?

Preferred Customer August 6, 2012 at 11:41 am

Barack Obama?

Baconzgood August 6, 2012 at 11:44 am

FDR?

Geminisunmars August 6, 2012 at 11:45 am

Dillinger?

SorosBot August 6, 2012 at 11:46 am

Baron Harkonnen?

Generation[redacted] August 6, 2012 at 12:47 pm

I'll vote for whoever can keep the spice flowing.

anniegetyerfun August 6, 2012 at 11:46 am

Deng Xiaoping?

calliecallie August 6, 2012 at 11:47 am

Hitler?

actor212 August 6, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Who?

Generation[redacted] August 6, 2012 at 12:47 pm

No, not Hitler.

Fraudulently_Joe August 6, 2012 at 11:48 am

John McCain?

not that Dewey August 6, 2012 at 11:51 am

Richard Dreyfuss?

Wadisay August 6, 2012 at 11:53 am

Kenny Chesney?

mwittier August 6, 2012 at 11:54 am

Jed Clampett?

janicket August 6, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Ethelred the Unready?

Generation[redacted] August 6, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Rufus T Firefly?

Goonemeritus August 6, 2012 at 11:19 am

He will take the Jack Boot of Government regulation of the neck of our entrepreneurial banking industry. I just know given a free hand there are plenty of new derivatives to be bundled and swapped.

actor212 August 6, 2012 at 11:28 am

Personally, I'm waiting for the hooker-based CMOs before I commit back to that market.

LetUsBray August 6, 2012 at 11:20 am

Hey, his plan isn't just to defund NPR. He's going to get rid of Planned Parenthood, too. Then on to step 3: Profit!

Geminisunmars August 6, 2012 at 11:47 am

Getting rid of Head Start will start the ball rolling.

Pragmatist2 August 6, 2012 at 11:57 am

South Park."Underpants Business" episode: http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/151040/the-

SorosBot August 6, 2012 at 11:20 am

Is "something dramatic" another war? Iran's still pissing us off, what with their continued instance on existing.

freakishlywrong August 6, 2012 at 11:34 am

"Sheldon Adelson on the bat phone, sir"

Chow Yun Flat August 6, 2012 at 11:21 am

A senior source familiar with Romney’s thinking…

As if Romney and thinking had anything to do with each other.

sewollef August 6, 2012 at 11:28 am

Damn it, beat me too it. I was going to comment 'Romney' and 'thinking' are mutually exclusive.

Biff August 6, 2012 at 11:33 am

Oxymormon.

e_z August 6, 2012 at 11:21 am

He will propose that his tax rate be dropped to zero-retroactively. No harm, no foul!

Ducksworthy August 6, 2012 at 11:48 am

The operative word there is "his". Actually, "his" tax rate has been zero or less since about 1980.

actor212 August 6, 2012 at 12:04 pm

And suddenly, he'll miraculously release his tax returns

Geminisunmars August 6, 2012 at 11:48 am

He does like to live in the past, doesn't he.

e_z August 7, 2012 at 9:55 pm

(pats self on back as he accepts his Wonkette Predictive Ability Award)
http://crooksandliars.com/jon-perr/romney-propose

freakishlywrong August 6, 2012 at 11:21 am

Jesus these people.."blahblahjawbcreatorsincentiveblahopportunityblah" all it means is "we're going right back to the Bush years, tax cuts for the wealthiest, and poors, don't die where we have to step over you".

RadioBowels August 6, 2012 at 11:29 am

Beat me to it freak: incentives for job creators, blah, blah, blah.

Preferred Customer August 6, 2012 at 11:21 am

My neighbor just replaced his "I REALLY miss Reagan" bumper sticker with a Romney-Believe in America bumper sticker.

Perhaps he will use his tax cut to finally fix his broken shutters, which have been annoying the crap out of me for two years now.

Oblios_Cap August 6, 2012 at 11:29 am

Well, he damn sure ain't paying some union goon to do it properly. So, even if he does try to fix them, they'll still be annoying the crap outta you.

Biff August 6, 2012 at 11:35 am

So it's true about jerb-creators holding back on hiring until the Blah Man is out of the White House, then?

BaldarTFlagass August 6, 2012 at 11:30 am

Maybe he can buy a set of tires and get that IROC Z off the cinder blocks, too…

actor212 August 6, 2012 at 11:40 am

Walk around your place naked. He'll get them fixed in a jiffy.

Or, if you are actually teh sexay and shy, hire a homeless guy to do it for you.

Doktor Zoom August 6, 2012 at 11:21 am

The economy will be saved by Marco Rubio's bill to eliminate income taxes on Olympics prizes of gold-medal winners.

proudgrampa August 6, 2012 at 11:51 am

By golly, we are SAVED. By a revenue-neutral solution, fersure.

Generation[redacted] August 6, 2012 at 12:50 pm

It will be revenue neutral when he applies an equal tax hike to food stamp recipients.

Pragmatist2 August 6, 2012 at 11:22 am

Fairy Dust. I'm going with Fairy Dust.

nonbeliever7 August 6, 2012 at 11:29 am

Snort or smoke?

weejee August 6, 2012 at 11:22 am

Too bad NASA didn't send Mittens with Curiosity as a chaperon. Maybe they were concerned the Martians would sue.

Biff August 6, 2012 at 11:36 am

Space Mormons, very good!

Ducksworthy August 6, 2012 at 11:52 am

Umm. Actually "space Mormons" would be redundant. Please See: Plan 10 from Outer Space wherein "A woman accidentally discovers the Plaque of Kolob which leads her to discover an insidous alien plot for world domination documented by a disreputable early Mormon prophet. "

SorosBot August 6, 2012 at 11:55 am

Plus, wasn't Space Mormons basically the original Battlestar Gallactica?

viennawoods13 August 6, 2012 at 12:54 pm

They all came from Planet Kobol, so yeah.

Biff August 6, 2012 at 12:24 pm

No doubt about it, I need to get out more! Nearest theater is 70 miles away, not enough bandwidth to download movies, etc.

SorosBot August 6, 2012 at 11:44 am

But if he went to Mars, Mitt would totally blow up the Earth for blocking his view of Venus.

SexySmurf August 6, 2012 at 11:22 am

Mitt is such a drama queen!

OkieDokieDog August 6, 2012 at 11:22 am

Don't forget he'll also defund the favorite tv network of Lawrence Welk viewers and those abortion mills. That should add a couple of dollar bills to the War Kitty pot.

EatsBabyDingos August 6, 2012 at 11:23 am

I repeat myself when under stress.

MosesInvests August 6, 2012 at 11:42 am

The more I look at it, the more I like it.

Lascauxcaveman August 6, 2012 at 12:21 pm

no matter how I take it apart

no matter how I break it down

Mitt remains consistent.

Oblios_Cap August 6, 2012 at 11:24 am

Mitt Romney said yesterday that he opposes further fiscal spending or monetary stimulus, which we had some indication he might say since that is his well-known position. What he will do, however, is save the economy by doing something.

Let's see – Discretionary income and real wages going are down, businesses are sitting on cash instead of investing (hardly a new thing), and no increase in government spending is what will grow our economy? I know classical economics is bullshit (it's all in the assumptions), but unless the economy magically grows some 4th leg, that's a recipe for disaster.

I'm trying, but I can only seem to manage growing a third leg these days.

CapnFatowls August 6, 2012 at 11:25 am

HOLY CRAP, MITT'S GOING GOTH!!!

mrblifil August 6, 2012 at 11:26 am

This is more suspenseful than the lead up to the moment when a tranny finally agrees to pull down her thong. Only not really.

actor212 August 6, 2012 at 11:26 am

Release his emo single, "It Sucks To Be Rich, You People"?

bikerlaureate August 6, 2012 at 4:31 pm

It's Hard Out There For A Pomp.

bflrtsplk August 6, 2012 at 11:27 am

He will ask us all to drive to Canada with the dog tied to the roof of the RV because … terrorism, I mean, jerbs.

Dr. Nick Riviera August 6, 2012 at 11:27 am

I'm sure he has his plan locked up safe with the last 10 years of tax returns and his understanding of the middle class.

Graham Cracker August 6, 2012 at 1:31 pm

And he has forgotten the combination.

rickmaci August 6, 2012 at 11:28 am

Tricky Mitty.

His head is as devoid of content as the crotch in his mom jeans.

Gleem McShineys August 6, 2012 at 6:04 pm

Lots of magicians use "magic" to make things disappear. Therefore, you see, his magic underwear is just working as it should.

OkieDokieDog August 6, 2012 at 11:29 am

Looking at that photo – Mittens should stuff a sock or cucumber or something in there to try and get the coveted Ladies Love Hot Hung Dudes vote.

Chet Kincaid_ August 6, 2012 at 11:29 am

"Which one of you wags attached Mittron 2000's CPU to WifeBot 9900's locomotion unit again this morning?! We don't have time for these hijinx!"

owhatever August 6, 2012 at 11:30 am

The first dramatic thing is to name his dancing horse to be Secretary of the Treasury.

Biff August 6, 2012 at 11:39 am

Secretariat of the Treasury?

actor212 August 6, 2012 at 11:48 am

A full horse would beat the horse's ass we have now.

vulpes82 August 6, 2012 at 12:38 pm

CALIGULA LIBEL!

sewollef August 6, 2012 at 11:30 am

Come on….! Who the hell wears a business shirt and tie tucked in to jeans. Jeans. And what is he doing exactly, dancing? Is he doing the 'boogie-woogie'?

My eyes hurt looking at that picture.

MosesInvests August 6, 2012 at 11:43 am

People, people. That's a Photoshop.

Gleem McShineys August 6, 2012 at 6:05 pm

No way! Mitt's OS can't run Photoshop.

anniegetyerfun August 6, 2012 at 11:49 am

I hate to be the one to say this, but it's just an excellent Photoshop. But you knew that, right?

SorosBot August 6, 2012 at 11:58 am

Considering that every time that image is shown here, someone people always think it's real, even though it's been pointed out that it's a photoshop many, many, many times, apparently not.

widestanceromance August 6, 2012 at 12:09 pm

What makes it so believable is that no one would really be surprised (horrified, yes/surprised, no) by Willard's total lack of human genitalia, not someone's photoshop prowess.

Gleem McShineys August 6, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Look if Arpaio can still more or less legitimately raise the question about Obama's birth certificate, can't everyone more or less legitimately say this is an accurate portrayal of Mitt's dingus region?

sewollef August 6, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Damn. To be honest, as someone who works with Photoshop day in and day out, [I'm a designer for an ad agency], I just had not considered it to be fake.

Really, the reason I gave that no consideration, was probably because it IS something Romney would do and/or wear. He's such a prick in almost every other aspect of his life, I took it at face value.

I feel used now.

Chet Kincaid_ August 6, 2012 at 12:31 pm
Ducksworthy August 6, 2012 at 11:33 am

Note to Mitt: Advocate a nuclear attack on Iran. That would be truly dramatic.

BaldarTFlagass August 6, 2012 at 11:45 am

Nuclear war won't do shit for the unemployment numbers. We need a good quagmire-inducing ground war over there.

not that Dewey August 6, 2012 at 11:33 am

"You didn't make the case for that."

Baconzgood August 6, 2012 at 11:33 am

Sooooooo to fix what the Laffer Curve caused we must impliment more Laffer Curve policies? Good luck with that one.

Blueb4sinrise August 6, 2012 at 11:36 am

Dramatic?
Dog on a Hot Car Roof ?

BaldarTFlagass August 6, 2012 at 11:43 am

"What's that smell in this room? Didn't you notice it, Mitt? Didn't you notice a powerful and obnoxious odor of mendacity in this room?"

actor212 August 6, 2012 at 11:45 am

The love story of MaggiePooch and Prick.

TootsStansbury August 6, 2012 at 11:37 am

What if this asshole gets elected? I can't figure these repubs out. It's like they're an unholy mix of fascism, objetivism, authoritarianism and just plain meanness. And real murka just eats it up. It's like half the country has list their minds.

SorosBot August 6, 2012 at 11:43 am

Remember 2001-2008? It'll be a lot like that, only most of the Republican legislators are now totally insane.

Ducksworthy August 6, 2012 at 11:57 am

I blame it on the Neo-Christians.

freakishlywrong August 6, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Oklahoma is on on fire. The crops are dead. It hasn't rained all summer and it's been a million degrees. They elected Inhoffe.

TootsStansbury August 6, 2012 at 12:12 pm

I hope the next Wonkit post is the funniez :-(

viennawoods13 August 6, 2012 at 12:57 pm

It sure is! Tundra Barbie on hooker heels!

Callyson August 6, 2012 at 11:41 am

Mitt Romney is calling for “something dramatic” to help the economy recover, but he’s not saying exactly what.

Please, please let us have just one moderator who asks "Governor Romney, why should the American people vote for someone who won't tell us what he would do if elected president?"

FFS…

Oblios_Cap August 6, 2012 at 11:42 am

Maybe he's planning to pimp out Rafalca to help balance the budget. But only to the best horses; you people can leave the workhorses in the barn.

barto August 6, 2012 at 11:42 am

Repeal Obaromneycare! That's the ticket. And make sure teh gaze can't get hitched!

mlle_derp August 6, 2012 at 11:45 am

Of course he can save the economy. He wears magick underpants…

Fraudulently_Joe August 6, 2012 at 11:46 am

He will dramatically tell you what his plan is after you elect him President.

No word yet on whether he plans to include elements of John McCain's secret plans in his own. Let's assume 'yes'.

Biff August 6, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Come ON, it wouldn't be a sekrit if he told us!

HistoriCat August 6, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Like McCain, he has to keep the plan secret – if he talks about it, it might be stolen. You know how those people are.

(Come here a minute beat me to it [p. 2])

pinkocommi August 6, 2012 at 11:46 am

"Mitt Romney is calling for 'something dramatic' to help the economy recover"

Options:
1. You are now allowed to sell your own organs!
2. Magic underwear and posthumous baptisms for everyone!
3. Everyone gets their own Swiss bank account containing 30 hobo beans!

This is a fun game.

actor212 August 6, 2012 at 12:06 pm

2. Magic underwear and posthumous baptisms for everyone!

*GASP*

And then he'll tithe us all retroactively!

Come here a minute August 6, 2012 at 11:47 am

Do you expect him to reveal his secret plan, only to have Obama steal it? Nice try!

mwittier August 6, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Wasn't aware there was a talent portion to the presimadential race.

Okay, twirl the fake white rifle (that he has a constitutional right to), heel, toe, heel, kick, toss the fake white rifle waaaaay up in the air, shimmy, JAZZ HANDS, CATCH!

DRAMA!

iburl August 6, 2012 at 12:06 pm

You don't learn to twirl a rifle when you are bicycling around France instead of getting drafted.

mwittier August 6, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Sadly, Mitt never got the hang of mime. So it was this, or the Scarlett O'hara monologue on roller skates.

sewollef August 6, 2012 at 12:23 pm

mwittier:

You've done this before haven't you?

mwittier August 6, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Nahhh: I'm just a good describer. I always opted for jazz flute in my pageants.

Biff August 6, 2012 at 12:30 pm

$arah? Izzat you?

BlueStateLibel August 6, 2012 at 12:00 pm

This sounds like one of those teevee infomercials. Where do I send my $19.99 plus shipping to get the big secret?

TootsStansbury August 6, 2012 at 12:03 pm

So now he's a severely dramatic conservative?

iburl August 6, 2012 at 12:05 pm

"Something Dramatic…?"

Forced haircuts for long-haired sissy men?

MissTaken August 6, 2012 at 12:05 pm

"Secret, secret, I've got a secret"

– Mr Mittboto

SorosBot August 6, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Now you're the one sticking songs in my head!

PubOption August 6, 2012 at 12:08 pm

I'm reminded of Sir Humphrey discussing politicians logic, in an episode of 'Yes, Prime Minister'. "We must do something. This is something, therefore we must do this".

Chet Kincaid_ August 6, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Meanwhile, deliciously, Harry Reid refuses to reverse himself, apologize or back down on his "you didn't pay that" charges, and Nancy "Brass Knuckles" Pelosi has his back: http://2012.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/08/harry-r

freakishlywrong August 6, 2012 at 12:17 pm

It's great, isn't it? All the hand wringing and calls for "civility". The wingnuts have been impossibly ugly for years and when a soft spoken, powerful Democrat plays hard ball they cry like the 10 year olds they are.

CheeseBro69 August 6, 2012 at 12:12 pm

All we need to do is ban abortion and presto!
4.5% unemployment and handjibbers for everybody!

OneDollarJuana August 6, 2012 at 12:16 pm

I say we feed the unemployed to the poor factory-farm pigs that are having to eat higher-priced corn because of the drought. Lowers the unemployment rate, good for farmers, good for pork-lovers. Win Win Win!

mavenmaven August 6, 2012 at 12:16 pm

It doesn't matter what plans he has, apparently the business world (and the NYT) have become Romney's collaborator so that they can make some more profits: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/06/business/fear-o

not that Dewey August 6, 2012 at 12:26 pm
randcoolcatdaddy August 6, 2012 at 12:22 pm

"Mitt Romney is calling for “something dramatic” to help the economy recover, but he’s not saying exactly what."

A payday loan at 1,200% interest from his Swiss bank account for every working American, perhaps?

johnnymeatworth August 6, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Look at his crotch, he's like a Ken doll down there.

freakishlywrong August 6, 2012 at 12:27 pm

He's like a Ken doll all over. Especially in the eyes and facial expression..

Gleem McShineys August 6, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Crotch? Hell, his "dramatic something" also seem to be missing a few bits as well.

thefrontpage August 6, 2012 at 12:26 pm

The Washington Herald-Courier-Journal has obtained exclusive, inside campaign documents from Romney campaign officials, and, according to the documents and those officials, the main weapon that the Romney campaign plans to use to improve the economy is an elaborate, highly-detailed, multi-layered plan to focus on firing every Republican official, worker, administrator, manager, director, commander and any other top-level Republican official in all sectors of the federal government, including the executive, legislative and judicial branches. Those who cannot be fired–those who were elected to offices–will be asked to leave or face severe reprimands. The general thinking is that by clearing out the Republicans, the government can go back to working on actual progressive, forward-thinking, helpful, intelligent and productive legislation, bills, issues and programs that will actually help people, help the economy, help business, and help the country. This is known as the Romney Plan to Improve the Country, or RPIC.

janicket August 6, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Isn't it obvious? He's going to announce tax breaks for the importation of dressage horses! Just think of all the jobs that will create: Manure muckers, grain and hay producers, top hat makers, saddlers, farriers, grooms, riding-ring rakers, barn aisle sweepers, crouching human mounting blocks…. Why, the possibilities are endless!

DahBoner August 6, 2012 at 12:36 pm

I've got $10 on "Kill the Niggers", Bob…

Designer_Rants August 6, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Mitt Romney believes in an America where millions of Americans can believe in an America that millions of Americans can believe in.

BarackMyWorld August 6, 2012 at 12:40 pm

I have a dramatic plan too, but it involves voting for the other guy.

lochnessmonster August 6, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Okay I grew up when we had unisex boutiques but do the Romney's really have to share jeans with Ann? I think he could buy a few pairs of his own having the kind of cash they have.

mlle_derp August 6, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Losing the election would helpd fix the economy, but wouldn't be all that dramatic.

But if HE DROPPED OUT OF THE ELECTION???

HistoriCat August 6, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Drop out, hell – he's going to endorse Obama days before the election. Now that would be dramatic!

IonaTrailer August 6, 2012 at 1:09 pm

“But surely you agree that truth can be created by the repetition of a lie.” http://pichaus.com/created-repetition-lie-truth-@

BZ1 August 6, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Those are "Mom" pants, aren't they??

walterhwhite August 6, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Why is he wearing Mom jeans?

Gleem McShineys August 6, 2012 at 6:25 pm

To emphasize just how much he will NOT be like his Dad, who released his tax returns?

KotBR August 6, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Everyone knows that specifics are for pussies.

Isyaignert August 6, 2012 at 4:58 pm

I got an envelope from Mittens today along with a picture of him and Ayn, a letter saying how bad Obama and the Liberals are and how awesome the Republican party is, and a postage-paid return envelope in which to send my check.

I'm going to send their envelope back alright, but with a one pound piece of steel in it.

TribecaMike August 6, 2012 at 9:31 pm

With apologies to Patsy Cline

I go out walkin'
In my mom jeans
Just to pick up
horny Methodists
I go out walkin'
In my mom jeans
Thinking of you

kateinmt August 6, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Mittens apparently thinks men wearing MomJeans™ is something dramatic enough to change the economy.

ttommyunger August 7, 2012 at 8:17 pm

"WHAT ‘DRAMATIC’ SOMETHING WILL MITT ROMNEY USE TO SAVE THE ECONOMY? TAX? CUTS?" Oh, I don't know….Getting his ass handed to him in November?

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