And then come the death panels!Did you know that Barack Obama hates the US military soooo much that he is trying to take away their voting rights? Mitt Romney said it, so it is a thing that could possibly have been true! (Haha, no it isn’t.) Yes, according to Old Mr. “You’ll Just Have to Trust Me,” the Barack Obama campaign is suing the state of Ohio to take away early voting for members of the military. Now, it gets a little complicated here, see if you can follow along: until last year, all Ohio voters could vote early. Then the GOP passed a bill taking away early voting for everyone but members of the military. Now the Democrats are suing to get early voting reinstated for everyone. We know that was really, REALLY complex, but were you able to follow it? You were? You didn’t read that and then have a stroke that made you differently abled, in your brain? Then you are a better man than Mitt Romney.

Here he is on Facebook, the preferred mode of talking at the more special members of one’s base.

President Obama’s lawsuit claiming it is unconstitutional for Ohio to allow servicemen and women extended early voting privileges during the state’s early voting period is an outrage. The brave men and women of our military make tremendous sacrifices to protect and defend our freedoms, and we should do everything we can to protect their fundamental right to vote. I stand with the fifteen military groups that are defending the rights of military voters, and if I’m entrusted to be the commander-in-chief, I’ll work to protect the voting rights of our military, not undermine them.

But guess where Mitt Romney picked up this creative take on Ohio’s early voting lawsuit? Would you believe … Ghost Andrew Breitbart?

I think it’s unconscionable that we as a nation wouldn’t make it as easy as possible for members of the military to vote. They arguably have more right to vote than the rest of us, since it is their service and sacrifice that ensures we have the right to vote in the first place.

If anyone proposes legislation to combat voter fraud, Democrats will loudly scream that the proposal could “disenfranchise” some voter, somewhere. We must ensure, they argue, that voting is easy and accessible to every single voter. Every voter, that is, except the men and women of our military.

Well, that is about what we would expect from Ghost Andrew Breitbart. But Mr. Romney should watch out. He is starting to get a Reputation.

[LGF/LGF too]

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  • "I invented 'Curiousity' and discoverd Mars" – M. Romney.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Mars Rover. Home schoolers think it's a dog that likes candy bars.

      • The Rover discovered a singles bar on Mars. Still hasn't found life, apparently.

        • Oblios_Cap

          A Mars Bar, as it were?

    • sewollef

      "… Unlike the current president, who wanted to scrap the space program and give it to Mexico." — Mitt Romney

    • RadioBowels

      Mars is the god of war, ergo Mitts is pro-military.

    • Not true. In fact Romney is RELATED to the Robotic Curiosity Rover.

      • So who'd he fuck to make the machine?

        • viennawoods13


  • Oblios_Cap

    They arguably have more right to vote than the rest of us


    • mookwrthwilson

      I think he's been watching Starship Troopers too much.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Service Brings Citizenship!

        It was on again this weekend.

        • Some network ran all four…yes, four…of them back to back recently. I stopped watching after I realized I wasn't going to see Jolene Blalock's tits

          • Oblios_Cap

            I feel your pain.

          • BORING CORRECTION: All three of the films. If memory serves, it was G4 network that ran them along with a discussion of the fourth film, which is in preproduction.

            I have to stop drinking on weekends and limit it to weeknights.

        • smitallica

          That movie baffles me.

          "Service brings citizenship! But not, apparently, tanks, artillery, or heavy weapons of any kind!"

          • That's the satire of the film (which on this point diverges wildly from the book by Heinlein): the society they're fighting for has completely collapsed, and humanity would probably be better off if the bugs won. In fact, the opening sequence of the film is ripped straight from Riefensthal to highlight the parallels between waning Nazi power and its rush to hyperpropagandize itself.

      • SorosBot

        And apparently doesn't get irony,

        • mookwrthwilson

          Neither does my wife. I was watching part of it this weekend on basic cable and she was like "this movie is terrible". I kept trying to explain that it was intentionally this way and that Verhoeven was making satire…she didn't get it…

      • GhostBuggy

        Would you like to know more?

        • Oblios_Cap

          They'll keep fighting..And they'll win!

    • Dr. Nick Riviera

      So Conservatives think only the military should vote, and women and gays shouldn't be allowed in the military…

      Makes sense.

      • larrykat

        I prefer the white male landowner cohort myself.

      • ChrisM2011

        If they knew how many African Americans serve, I'm sure they'd change their minds

    • thatsitfortheother1

      I'm a veteran, and I agree with you. Particularly as an all volunteer force.

      The baggers whining about losing their freedums to big government should think back about 35 years. To a time when the man came and got you when you were 18, and sent you humping an M-16 in the Central Highlands of Vietnam. Talk about invasive.

    • SorosBot

      Yeah, assholes, nobody has more or less a right to vote than anyone else; except for (sometimes former) convicted felons, which is a quite frankly disgusting feature of American democracy.

    • Guppy

      And what do we find in § 1.04 of the Ohio Constitution?

      (T)he military shall be in strict subordination to the civil power.

      Teabaggers like constitutions except when they're wiping their asses with one.

    • rickmaci

      From the mouth of a fucking draft dodger. At long last sir, have you no shame?

    • All animals are created equal, (but some are more equal than others).

    • eggsacklywright

      It is written in Mormonic magic scripture that Mittz is destined to be King of America.

    • Callyson

      The logic is truly frightening when you think about it. The people in the military fought for our rights, so they deserve them more than we do? They why the fuck should we have them risk their lives fighting for our rights if we're just going to abdicate them in the end?


      • Lascauxcaveman

        Not to mention the problem of leaving all our decisions in the hands of people not smart enough to avoid military service.

        No, I don't hate our troops; I just wonder about them sometimes. Do they even realize how they're being used?

        • twaingirl

          Some do but many who join the military do so because there is just no economic opportunities available to them (or, conversely, there may be but because of poor information and media manipulation, people just don't know. Apathy may play a part too).

    • Oblios_Cap

      The gunman suspected of shooting six people dead at a Sikh temple in Wisconsin on Sunday was a former US serviceman.

      The gunman, shot dead by police during the attack in a Milwaukee suburb, was Wade Michael Page, 40, police said.

      US officials said Page had been discharged from the military after being demoted.
      Page, a former psychological operations specialist and a Hawk Missile System repairman, was discharged after being reduced in rank from sergeant to specialist.

      He was reportedly disciplined in June 1998 for being drunk on duty, and discharged for "patterns of misconduct".

  • thatsitfortheother1

    Somebody needs to kill Andrew Breitbart again.

    • Biff

      I'm afraid if we invoke his name often enough, he will truly rise again and become Zombie Breitbart.

      • PsycWench

        Kind of like the Dark Lord but not powerful enough…maybe the Dark Lackey?

        • Goonemeritus

          I’m going with the dark stain on the bedding of democracy.

      • Kinda "Beetlejuicy" of him…

      • Guppy

        The None-Comprehending Eye of Breitbart?

    • Schmannnity

      Gotta get the Horcruxes.

      • I'm not familiar with that Pokemon.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          An airbender could prolly figure this out.

      • James Michael Curley

        Back in the day in Pittsburgh there was a one legged whore who needed a …

    • An_Outhouse

      I heard from a trust worthy source that Seal Team 6 is otherwise preoccupied at the moment. (Did you know there's Russians training in Colorado? shhhh… don't tell anyone).

    • GhostBuggy


  • ShreditorsDesk

    I love it when he lies about lying the best.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      He's acting like Richard Nixon never existed.

    • rickmaci

      Twitt is suck a cunning linguist he can manage lying out of both sides of his mouth simultaneously.

      • GhostBuggy

        We'll see soon if he's a master debater.

    • bikerlaureate

      You get to be delighted a lot, with this Simittlacrum.

  • freakishlywrong

    No matter how loud "Democrats scream", (to expand VOTING in a DEMOCRACY; I KNOW..), nothing can drown out the brass band that is the conservatives and their so-called media.

  • PsycWench

    You'd think dead people would be way past lying to advance a political cause.

    • Biff

      Being dead has in no way hindered Zombie Raygun and his agenda.

    • Wadisay

      Look, if you're already smoldering in hell like Breitbart, what's a few more lies?

  • Goonemeritus

    Considering the troops voted for Obama in bigger numbers than any other group except female Kenyan exchange students. I seriously doubt he would want to voter cage the troops.

  • not that Dewey

    Republicans disenfranchising voters = DEMOCRACY
    Democrats reenfranchising same voters = TRANNY!1!!

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Should we reenfranchise more than they disenfranchise, it will indeed be a trannysurprise.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "And we're going to up the ante on the Obama administration, who only want to disenfranchise the military, by disenfranchising blacks, browns, olds, youngs, students, and anyone else we think might possibly vote Democrat. Your move, Barry!"

    • Boojum

      And we are going to retroactively make all these things we already did into a response to this stuff you haven't actually done.

  • Birds and Cats arguably have more of right to vote than the rest of you.

    • Biff

      They were here first!

    • Mittens Howell, III

      Tweet early, and meow often.

  • What is Mitt Romney lying about today?



  • You know who else tried to make a career out of posting bullshit on Facebook?

    • not that Dewey
    • Weedlord Hitlerboner?

      • anniegetyerfun

        There will never be another made-up name in the world that can make me as happy as this one.

    • AddHomonym


    • hagajim

      I just wanna know why Mitt hasn't posted any sexy mirror self-shots…no I don't really.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      My ex-girlfriend?

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Bristol Palin? No wait, that was fvckbook.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Tila Tequila? Or was that MySpace?

  • Schmannnity

    It's simple to explain later. Mitt was taken out of context taking Brietbart out of context in an out of context Facebook statement. So there, haters.

    • RedneckMuslin

      Two lies make it right, right?

    • ShreditorsDesk


  • Oblios_Cap

    I stand with the fifteen military groups

    Jeez. How many groups do we need to have dedicated to killing folks that aren't us?

    • James Michael Curley

      I don't know what a 'military group' is; but according to some of the recent veterans I meet, their are as many localized 'gangs' on many bases as there are 'gangs' in prisons.

  • Who knew?

    The Republicans hate us for our freedoms!

    • thatsitfortheother1

      I did. Figured it out round about Watergate or so.

  • freakishlywrong

    You know, this asshole lies so much I'm starting to doubt he has a dancing horse in the Olympics. Wait..what?

  • SorosBot

    Gee, so the GOP wants to make it harder for people to vote, unless it's a group they think is more likely to vote for them; what a shocker.

    • PsycWench

      Oh, that can't be true. If it were true they would have put hurdles in the way of black people voting in Florida. And they would have demanded voter ID laws. And they would throw a fit every time a polling station in a city (say, Durham NC) stayed open late to compensate for malfunctioning equipment. See?

      • sewollef

        Hurdles wouldn't have stopped our dark-skinned brethren.

        Did you see the 100 metre Olympics event? Notice all those white guys? Neither did I.

    • BoroPrimorac

      That's why Rick Scott and the Florida GOP didn't fiddle with absentee ballots. Coincidentally there's a huge scandal in Miami right now which has to do with Republican politicians paying little old ladies to go around to nursing homes and falsify signatures on absentee ballots.

  • not that Dewey
    • He got that right. I'm in a daze.

  • Given the quantity and quality of his everyday lies, I find it unlikely that he would lie about something like taxes.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "…it is their service and sacrifice that ensures we have the right to vote in the first place. "

    How the fuck would you know, Mitt?

    • thatsitfortheother1

      He asked his sons?


    • Mittens Howell, III

      He knows all about service and sacrifice, that's what he was running away from when he went to France.

      • Oblios_Cap

        The local paper had a two-page story on Saturday about Moron missionaries and how this is the Moron Moment, because …Mitt. What a hunk of tripe. But not surprising, since the USA Today bought it a couple of years ago. At least we get good baseball box scores, because there damn sure isn't any real news in it.

  • BeefHardcake

    No, no, no, you have it all wrong. Mittbot 2.0 simply encountered an error in its English-language carbon-based lifeform interface translation program. This will be fixed in the next version of the operating system.

    • sewollef

      "This will be fixed in the next version of the operating system."

      That'll be the Business & Executive – 1% edition I'm guessing, right? The Home & Student edition [aka stripped down piece of shit] is for the rest of the us.

  • not that Dewey

    From Think Progress:

    Mitt Romney, by supporting the Ohio law that would do away with three days of early voting for all but those covered under the Uniformed and Overseas Citizens Absentee Voter Act (‘UOCAVA’), is supporting the restriction of voting rights for as many as 913,000 Ohio veterans.

    • Mittens Howell, III

      Hey, stop lying at Mitt with the truth!

    • Callyson

      I read that as "Uninformed and Overseas Citizens Absentee Voter Act." Perfect description of Romney voters…

      • not that Dewey

        His voters are absent and uninformed citizens. His money is overseas.

  • Mitt Romney is also lying about what happened on The Island!!

    • not that Dewey

      Does that mean they're all dead? Whew. What a relief.

  • kittensdontlie

    "It's not a lie, if you believe it"–George Costanza

  • mavenmaven

    Oh, but lying is built into Romney's robot program. Its that wingnut lying program, "lynuts".

    • Biff

      I'm usually pretty wary of clicking on any .exe extensions.

  • Cause nobody cares about the rights of the Military like a draft dodger, right?

  • sewollef

    Damn it, it's the exact opposite of the lawsuit. WTF? Does he think there's no way to check these things or does he believe the Kock Brothers will cover for him?

    • e_z

      "Does he think there's no way to check these things or does he believe the Kock Brothers will cover for him"

      Actually he doesn't give a fuck ether way.

  • They arguably have more right to vote than the rest of us, since it is their service and sacrifice that ensures we have the right to vote in the first place.

    No, I have more right to vote than anyone else because I said so.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Then you are a better man than Mitt Romney.

    Well, my dick's bigger.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I hear Willard's isn't that small for a rat.

  • Geminisunmars

    His lie du jour is all over the internet in the form of political ads: How he (singlehandedly) saved the Olympics. You know his campaign has been waiting until the middle of the current Olympics to place these ads, because jingoism and medals.

  • That can't be a real SNL clip. Too much actual eye contact between the actors; not enough staring at offscreen cue cards.

    • not that Dewey

      Also, not enough contrived dialog that no human would actually say.

    • JustPixelz

      you notice that too. it's like the skip rehearsal, skip reading the script, and can't remember the line long enough to look away from the card. they may as well move it to radio.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Sure, make sure they can still vote, but fuck any additional funding for PTSD and the Veteran's Administration in general.

    • James Michael Curley

      A republican congress, in 1996 the year of the Christmas closure, took the VA off the status of not being lumped into the budget process and only getting the budget increases most other agencies got. By many estimates this has resulted in the VA operating on 60% of what it would have been entitled to under the old system. It took the democratic congress and VA director Shinseki to get the VA out of the 'sequestered funding' category in 2010. However the current congress and the Paul Ryan budget still cuts the VA requested funding. Even a program higballed through congress in 2009 to rehabilitate Walter Reed has been cut again.

      If you had a leg blown off it takes six to nine months to get a prosthetic. Not 6 to 9 months after the incident but 6 to 9 months after there has been enough healing to be able to measure you for a prosthetic. Then you may spend weeks with it sitting by your bedside while you wait for a therapist to be available.

  • PuckStopsHere

    If Mitwit simply hired people to manufacture the outrage his campaign appears to require on a daily basis, the nation's unemployment problem would disappear overnight.

    • Rosie_Scenario

      But Mitt being Mitt, those jobs would be outsourced to China or India.

  • An_Outhouse

    I arguably have more right to vote than military members. After all I'm the one with the job who pays the taxes that supports them. They're practically my slaves.

  • Guppy

    I stand with the fifteen military groups

    These groups, are we talking more VFW or more along the lines of SCV?

  • this is what i was fighting about over at the economist all night and now i have a hangover.

    i fucking hate mitt romney.

  • gullywompr

    That's their eternal narrative – whenever Dems try to get something for a group of people, it means theat they are taking it away from everybody else. See: taxes, marriage, social programs, etc.

    PS, can we stop calling it "gay marriage", and just call it "marriage"?

  • mr bojangles

    asshole's lips are moving!!

  • Come here a minute

    Next Romney will propose that each servicemember receives TWO votes. Yeah, that's the ticket! (CEO's too, naturally, because they're bravely serving our country creating jobs)

    • rickmaci

      Also the sons of CEO's who dodge military service.

  • Incidentally, it would be much less of a blatant lie to argue that in opposing this challenge to Ohio's early voting elimination, Mitt Romney is saying that he doesn't think that our veterans should have access to early voting.

    Why do you hate our veterans, Mr. Romney?

  • fartknocker

    So Mitshit has adopted the same strategy as GWB2 in the 2000 elections. Apparently this goat fucker believes no one remembers how a court decided an election because of the numbnuts in Florida.

  • MonkeyMotion

    I hope Harry Reid is taking notes…

  • pinkocommi

    "Then you are a better man than Mitt Romney."

    I am a woman, but you are still right.

  • RadioBowels

    I also heard that the Mars Curiosity landing was a secret private sector project. And despite Obama gutting NASA, he is go to take full credit for the accomplishment.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Hey, Obama Campaign:

    This would be a decent issue to get mad over, I think? It's hard to say how many horrible lies Rmoney's campaign is going to try to get away with over the next few months (thousands), but a good, angry, WELL-WORDED strike back on this one would be good.

    Also, maybe a bit of condescension – go ahead and pretend to be understanding about how Romney doesn't understand complicated things like "laws".

    • RadioBowels

      Or "taxes".

      • anniegetyerfun

        I feel like the taxes thing is better handled by minions.

    • eggsacklywright

      So much material to use and so far the Dims are not taking much advantage.

    • Boojum

      Start a site, List them all. Plug hell out of it.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    If we're going to have a lying cunt for a President, can we at least have a clever one?

  • The essential English leadership secret does not depend on particular intelligence. Rather, it depends on a remarkably stupid thick-headedness. The English follow the principle that when one lies, one should lie big, and stick to it. They keep up their lies, even at the risk of looking ridiculous.

    Joseph Goebbels, 1941.
    Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

    Mitt Romney, 2012

  • So he takes information presented to him, this Mitt, and extracts a twisted-up backwards conclusional flop that would make Coach Karyoli blanche. Nothing Presidential about this drone-a-tron except the exceptional dimensions of his disingenuity.

    • not that Dewey

      the exceptional dimensions of his disingenuity

      NASA is working on that next. Just give them a day to rest.

  • rickmaci

    You just never know what nonsense will come out next from Twitt Romoney's clown car of a campaign.

  • smitallica

    Yes, we can see why Obama would want to prevent the military from voting, since there are so few blacks and HIspanics in the military.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I hate to lump groups of people together but I'll risk being called a bigot to point out that Mitt the Bishop is living up to my expectations that come from past dealings with other Mormons. Some people will use God to justify all kinds of sleaziness.

    • Harrison Wintergreen

      Anecdotal evidence: the meanest, angriest man I've ever known was an 'elder' in the LDS Church. In a way, he was sort of an anti-missionary: his message was "become a Mormon and you too can be a thoroughly unpleasant and miserable excuse for a human being."

  • TheGyrus

    Ohio: "Let's disenfranchise everyone except the troops."

    Obama: "You can't do that!"

    Romney: "Troop hater!"

  • I'm waiting for the "Only Republicans Can Vote" law being introduced….

    • Well, they arguably have more of a right to vote than any of us, since it is their servants and sanctimoniousness that ensures they have the first place in line to vote.

  • Frankly, at this point, Mitt Romney's managed to paint himself as less credible than "some guy who called called Harry Reid's office and told him a thing".

    Kinda impressive, in its own way.

  • James Michael Curley

    I wasn't finished ranting about For-Profit Colleges scamming veterans and now you want me to switch gears and rant about republicans denying voting rights to veterans and pumping them up with dioxin. I'm gonna get whiplash.

  • proudgrampa

    Liar, liar, pants on fire!!!

  • BlueStateLibel

    Has anyone in Mitt's family ever served in the U.S. military? Certainly not him, his father or his sons. On the other hand, Obama's daughters are eligible to join DAR:

    • Better question, has anyone in Mitt's family FOUGHT the US Military????

      Weren't there some skirmishes back in the day with Morman settlers??

    • An_Outhouse

      If the U.S. retroactively seized Mexico, then maybe someone in Mitt's family could have joined the U.S. military, retroactively. But otherwise, no, they were in Mexico.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    The real question should really be "what isn't Mitt Romney lying about today?" Probably a lot shorter answer…

  • BarackMyWorld

    At this point if Obama ordered Mexican food for dinner, Mitt would accuse him of being anti-American.

  • DahBoner

    How can you tell Mitt Rommey is lyin?

    On his control panel, LED #3 indicates power, which means the LIE YOUR ASS OFF TO GET ELECTED subroutine is executing once per second….

  • FIGHT!

  • viennawoods13

    Ok, I think understand their reasoning, stupid as it is. I teach, and when we have a student with learning disabilities, we have a report which outlines the things we can do to make that student better able to learn. One day I was called into a meeting with parents by a bright red principal, she was so upset, as the parents were giving her the gears about how unfair I was to their little darling. I went in and explained to them how I broke down assignments into small steps, etc, etc, all according to the kid's IEP, but then I made the cardinal error of saying that this was standard in all my assignments for the whole class, not just him. Well!! I had to have special, extra things for him,above and beyond what I was doing for the others, even if half of them had IEPs too. In other words, he was SO special, that if the others got the same, he deserved more. Either that or take away those accommodations for the others, to preserve his "advantage".
    So, you see, by wanting everyone to be able to vote early, Obama is taking away a privilege given to the military, and so they no longer are "special" At least, that's the only way the argument makes sense. Or maybe Rmoney is just stupid.

  • Shorter Article:
    Today's Furious Wingnut Outrage claims: Chicago-style New Black Panther Obama is using Chicago-style politics to kill the freedom of the military — Chicago-style.

  • BZ1

    Man, where's the Supreme Court when you need them?

  • MonkeyMotion

    Slightly OT: Still waiting for Rush to claim the Sikh temple shooter was actually a liberal looking to pin the blame on conservatives who, once again — like all flag-waving, bible-thumping, gun-toting, freedom-loving, Fox-watching Americans — are the real victims of this tragedy.

  • ttommyunger

    "WHAT IS MITT ROMNEY LYING ABOUT TODAY?" Clue: watch his lips; if they move, he is lying.

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