WINGNUTS COME OUT TO PLAAAY  2:18 pm August 4, 2012

Wingnuts Fail To Freak Out Over Gabby Douglas’s Mother Giving The Black Power Salute

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Fight the power Wingnuts, are you guys okay? Free Republic? Free Beacon? Daily Caller? Anybody home? Should we alert the Med-Alert people that your lifelines have run out of batteries, and you have fallen and you can’t get up? Because World’s Awesomest Gymnast Gabby Douglas has a mom, and she did the Black Power salute, and you have yet to freak the fuck out about it.

The closest thing we could find, in fact, is this Debbie Schlussel column tut-tutting about black women being racist for not liking Douglas’s hair. (Everybody knows that only black people can be racist.) Where’s the outrage? Where’s the treatise on Reverse Racism and the New Black Panther Party and Eric Holder and flerba merba yglerba DEEEEERRRRRRPPPP?

Yeah, that's it

You guys are getting soft. Pfft. Here, have a little hit of Pure, Uncut, Mexico City-Style Rage. Doesn’t that feel so good, wingnuts? Don’t you want more? No, put away your wallets. The first one’s free.

[ReddingNewsReview]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 286 comments }

memzilla August 4, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Arrid Extra Dry deodorant teevee commercial offer in 5… 4… 3…

anniegetyerfun August 4, 2012 at 3:35 pm
starfanglednut August 5, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Omg. I'm so old I actually remember that ad.

Barb_ August 4, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Did anyone notice on NBC after Gabby was awarded her gold medal a commercial of a monkey, doing gymnastics played?

eaglewon August 4, 2012 at 2:58 pm

commercial spots are bought way in advance, and punched into the computer to run at a certain time. I'm not getting your point here.

BerkeleyBear August 4, 2012 at 3:33 pm

That's not entirely true – this games has shown a tight group at NBC adjusting ad plays based on results (including same day re-cuts of ads about swimming times down to the hundredths of seconds). There's a definite level of near real time manipulation of the advertising message.

Still, I don't think the juxtaposition Barb noticed is meant to mean anything – NBC has been running that capuchin on rings (which isn't even a woman's event) for the whole length of the games in its bid to desperately sell a stupid show about an animal hospital staffed with B-list actors and a bunch of cute animals.

Barb_ August 4, 2012 at 4:54 pm

You aren't getting my point because I didn't make one.

It doesn't matter how long ago the commercial was made. Someone came up with the idea to put the little primate on the gymnastics rings in the commercial to air during the Olympics. The Olympic games are when all the lovely people of the world get together with their happy multicolored faces. Some of the lovely brown people are referred to as "monkeys", like several of the anti-Obama cartoons that creepy people send to each other.

We had a local ad here in New Mexico where the mascot of the University of New Mexico was in his costume, Lobo Louie, (a large wolf) in the kitchen and a lovely woman walks out of his bedroom in the morning, wearing her skimpy P.J.'s and he offers her a hot dog on a stick with his tongue hanging out. The first time I saw the ad I thought, "That didn't look good." I feel the same about the primate ad. Was it meant to be racist? Probably not. To me, it just didn't look good. Someone didn't think that all the way through.

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 10:40 pm

"Lobo Louie, (a large wolf) in the kitchen and a lovely woman walks out of his bedroom in the morning, wearing her skimpy P.J.'s and he offers her a hot dog on a stick with his tongue hanging out."

Tex Avery libel?

anniegetyerfun August 4, 2012 at 3:36 pm

The ad was for a show about animals.

If you want to see a "liberal" make a terrible case for why it was racist, here's a great example.
http://www.xojane.com/issues/nbc-runs-racist-ad-a

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 4, 2012 at 4:43 pm

The Tea Party bought advertising?

shelwood46 August 5, 2012 at 1:49 am

NBC has officially apologized, so you weren't the only one.

sati_demise August 4, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Love.

.

CrunchyKnee August 4, 2012 at 2:23 pm

All the wingnutz are in a post-chickin' fest diabeetus coma right now.

memzilla August 4, 2012 at 2:25 pm

A better case for the aerial spraying all of the Confederate States of America with High Fructose Corn Syrup could not be made.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard August 4, 2012 at 2:31 pm

I'm Ayn Rand Paul Tard, and I approve this message!

ibwilliamsi August 4, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Being new to the Heart of Dixie, I can tell you that it's not so much the corn syrup as it is the corn oil that they deep fry EVERYTHING in.

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 2:28 pm

That deserves more upfists than the universe can possibly contain.

Guppy August 4, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Black power salute fists?

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Absolutely.

boobookitteh August 4, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Endocrine libel!

(The medical/science nerds will think that's funny.)

C_R_Eature August 4, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Q: How do you make a Hormone?

A: Pick her up in a Gland Rover.

boobookitteh August 4, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Laughing my pancreas off.

C_R_Eature August 4, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Alimentary, my dear Watson.

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 3:57 pm

That's NOT funny. (folds arms, gives boobookitteh the hairy eyeball, taps toes)

boobookitteh August 4, 2012 at 4:04 pm

You're right. It's not funny. It's hilarious.

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 4:07 pm

TEN points to boobookitteh! That was fast and good.

Ears and tail to boobookitteh as well. Return them when you're done.

sati_demise August 4, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Love this mother

.
the end

C_R_Eature August 4, 2012 at 2:27 pm

I'm sure there is a Freakout in the pipeline, but Free Republic's too busy getting ready to freak out about Iranian Muslim Jihadi Monkeys from Space attacking US America.

This is why we need Missile Defense. Monkeys from Space!

EDIT: Both Gabby and her Mom are awesome and the Wingnuts had just better keep their dammed mouths shut for once. At least in public, anyway.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard August 4, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Anchor baby monkey libelz!

C_R_Eature August 4, 2012 at 2:34 pm

What's Michelle Malkin got to do with this?

Steverino247 August 4, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Well, to be honest, all that stuff about men in space was really a cover for developing the technology necessary to deliver nuclear weapons and spy on the Soviets. We got a lot of cool stuff out of it for civilian use, but that's no different than any other military research we've undertaken (automatic transmissions came from tank development, for example). There really is a need to be concerned when places like Iran and North Korea can do shit like launch monkeys and recover them. This launch has nothing to do with Iran's stated purpose for developing nuclear technology for power because their oil is running out in 50 years. It means they are trying to develop a launch vehicle for nukes and everybody who has nukes knows that.

C_R_Eature August 4, 2012 at 3:18 pm

That's pretty true, in that rocketry has always been a dual-use technology and most of it – and the scientists- we appropriated from the Nazi V-program (Werner Von Braun, anyone?). That said, a robust, successful space program, manned or otherwise, is an effective boost to a countries' morale and national pride. That's what I think the Iranians short term goals are.
No doubt they have an eye on heavy lift rocket tech for weapons purposes.But to have an effective nuclear missile requires nuclear warhead miniaturization, something highly technical and apparently a very closely guarded secret among the current nuclear powers. That's why we won't be seeing a North Korean nuclear ICBM any time soon, in spite of what Gingrich says.

Steverino247 August 4, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Snark off:

If they orbit the monkey, they can nuke anybody on the planet. Nukes are a 1940's technology. Little Boy weighed 9,700 pounds and was 28 inches across by 120 inches long. No heavy lift needed for that. Rockets to put that payload anywhere on the planet are a 1960's technology. Eventually, even pygmies in Africa could have nukes and the means to deliver them. This was part of the argument against building them in the first place–we proved it could be done.

Snark back on:

Besides, the Greeks are bankrupt, so why aren't the Persians happy?

C_R_Eature August 4, 2012 at 7:07 pm

On the Beach by Nevil Shute. Eventually, even tiny countries had atomic weapons so of course they were used. Then everyone used them.
This would be a great topic for Danger Room but I think we're getting too far in the weeds for Wonkette though this really is fun. Thanks!

I think the Persians should have taken all that Uranium Enrichment, bunker building and rocketry development money, put it all together, buy Athens and a great big wooden horse. I think you know what would happen next.

redarmyzombie August 6, 2012 at 5:11 pm

To be fair, they already sent Omid in orbit around the world once before, which means they already possess that capability in the first place.

Tangled sin tax August 5, 2012 at 12:42 am

Once the rockets go up
Who cares where they come down?
That's not my department
Said Werner Von Braun

C_R_Eature August 5, 2012 at 6:23 am

That's perfect.

MittBorg August 5, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Tom Lehrer. Lerve that man.

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 10:44 pm

"(automatic transmissions came from tank development, for example)"

One reason why I love it here is that I learn so much, no snark.
Did you know that Hedy Lamarr (the beautiful actress) developed cell phone technology during WWII as a way to send messages safe from spying?
http://www.astr.ua.edu/4000WS/didyouknow.1.html

MittBorg August 5, 2012 at 1:26 pm

No, I did not. Thanks!

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 4:05 pm

They're too busy threatening the lives of others right now to bother with little Gabby.

C_R_Eature August 4, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Ah, thanks. The Stars are properly aligned, Wingnuts are behaving with violent irrationality and the world is back on it's course. AM radio is a helluva drug.

Judging from his self portrait-with-sidearm, he's still sleeping off his factory fried chicken coma today.

Judging from his Facebook Quotes, he's about to have a visit from the SS. I don't mean the Schutzstaffel either. Luckily for him.

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 4:29 pm

I'm sorry, I hope I didn't ruin your morning, CRE. After all the wonderful gifts you gave me last night.

The jerk didn't even have the guts to post under his own real name (Carmine Marcello). He used the name of a dead man, one Kevin Kordes. I hope the decedent's estate sues his ass off.

C_R_Eature August 4, 2012 at 4:40 pm

No worries, I'm getting so used to this sort of behavior I just shake my head. It's no longer morning here, anyway, I'm at Zulu – 5, (EDT).
Most of the worst actors are blowhards and paranoid cowards, anyway. Why else would they feel the need to surround themselves with weapons to keep the scary dark monsters away?
I wonder what it was that set him off, though. Dollars to donuts it was some outrageous falsehood on RW propaganda media. It's likely he's saturated with it.
Hope your doing better, anyway.

Callyson August 4, 2012 at 6:58 pm

I've got no comment beyond quoting the link:

He works at Lowe Boats
2900 Industrial Drive
Lebanon, Missouri 65536
(417) 532-9101
Facebook fan page here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Lowe-Boats/2103477
Note: Please do not harass his employer. It’s probably not their fault they have a gun-crazy _____________ (you fill in the blank) working for them. Feel free to let them know who they’ve hired though.

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 7:22 pm

For reasons I don't quite understand, I can't access that FB page, even though I'm logged into FB right now. I have no doubt the Secret Service will be talking to this eejit soon, though.

Butch_Wagstaff August 4, 2012 at 8:34 pm

Same problem here.
If I found out someone like this was one of my coworkers, I would break out in a cold sweat everyday that I showed up for work. Or quit.
Probably just quit.

C_R_Eature August 4, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Page is probably either locked out or overwhelmed with traffic, now. I'm real sure it won't be up again – if this guy knows what's good for him.

Unfortunate, because I could craft a response photo to him, looking down the barrel of Goatse instead of a Gun. That would be appropriate.

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Isn't it just too, too precious that our amiable Editrix is so filled with care and concern for the Cheeto-stained and diabeetus-coma'ed?

Boojum August 5, 2012 at 8:49 am

Our Editrix is a superlative metaphor among superlative metaphors. She is Beauty, wrapped in Revolution, inside a Giggle.

:::swoon:::

MittBorg August 5, 2012 at 1:15 pm

She's hot stuff all right, ya horndog, but I was referring to the flensing knife of her wonky wit in filleting the RWNJs as she does so well.

Beowoof August 4, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Has John Carlos weighed in on this?

TribecaMike August 4, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Beats me, but Wendy Carlos is taking it in her stride.

bobbert August 5, 2012 at 12:27 am

Carlos/Moog 2012!

smashedinhat August 4, 2012 at 2:30 pm

I'm sorry. This was not placed on a tee-shirt so I cannot opine.

BarackMyWorld August 4, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Trying to figure out the real-life Calvinball that is wingnut logic probably isn't th best of that gorgeous head of yours I can think of, Rebecca.

(Damn, I'm being kind of a horndog today.)

Biff August 4, 2012 at 2:57 pm

(Damn, I'm being kind of a horndog today.)

In other words, Saturday.
Testify!

BarackMyWorld August 4, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Amiright thisguyknowwhatimtalkingabout!

NellCote71 August 4, 2012 at 2:34 pm

But to the point: how does this affect Sarah Palin?

Spurning Beer August 4, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Sarah is a lifelong supporter of Black Powder.

BarackMyWorld August 4, 2012 at 3:43 pm

What's funniest to me about this recurring question…you just KNOW she doesn't know the difference between "affect" and "effect."

Butch_Wagstaff August 4, 2012 at 8:45 pm

"I'll tell ya Greta how I feel about this and how it effects me. It effects me because didn't Obama do that fisting thing right after he took the Oath? I think he did because I've not heard anyone say he didn't, y'know? It was totally disrespectful to our Troops, Real Americans, Todd and my family. And now the mother of one of Olympimatic athletes does it? Is this what's become of the country our Founding Fathers floundered?"

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 11:14 pm

OK, now you're scaring me.

Boojum August 4, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Sarah has a life long acquaintanceship with Black Fisting.

SexySmurf August 4, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Let me try: "Negress tries to punch God; Obama says nothing because he wants to take our guns away."

Biff August 4, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Nailed it!

MissNancyPriss August 4, 2012 at 4:57 pm

stuck the landing

ChernobylSoup August 4, 2012 at 4:58 pm

You've obviously spent too much time behind the lines.

Get Smurf two subsidized housings, three socialized medicines, and 50ccs of gay marriage STAT.

Chet Kincaid_ August 4, 2012 at 11:54 pm

Your arms too short to box with God!

Chet Kincaid_ August 5, 2012 at 12:02 am

It would be very cool if Gabby did say to one of the NBC floor correspondents, in her bubbly voice, "My goal is to achieve so much air on my release skills that I could punch Jesus on the way down!"

LetUsBray August 4, 2012 at 2:39 pm

So now it's news when Teabaggistanis aren't self-righteously butthurt.

smashedinhat August 4, 2012 at 2:39 pm

What is la toya jacksons tee-shirt design on this?

bumfug August 4, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Too bad nobody there would do a terrorist fist-bump with her so they could really lose their minds.

SayItWithWookies August 4, 2012 at 2:50 pm

They're so focused on being outraged by imaginary stuff that something real doesn't even register.

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 4:31 pm

^^ THIS. ^^

Serolf_Divad August 4, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Just as, every time a black person raps knuckles with another black person, it's a "terrorist fist bump," every time a black person raises a fist in the air it's a "black power salute."

finallyhappy August 4, 2012 at 7:25 pm

I use the fist bump with small children so I am not touching their hands(germ- laden!!). Little kids seem to want to high five me at the museum- I fist bump but I am white so I guess it is ok.

weejee August 4, 2012 at 2:51 pm
MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Pretty manly, weej.

BarackMyWorld August 4, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Nuthin' wrong with a little bump and grind…

Steverino247 August 4, 2012 at 2:53 pm

I'll take the blond and you take the one with the sweater.

C_R_Eature August 4, 2012 at 2:58 pm

I'll take the blond and you take the one with the sweater Turban.

Steverino247 August 4, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Now listen very carefully…

C_R_Eature August 4, 2012 at 3:38 pm

It's Fronnnn Ken STEEN!

MosesInvests August 5, 2012 at 9:34 am

A rrrriot iss a terrible ting…UND…it's about time ve had vun! To ze castle!

johnnyzhivago August 4, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Is that a black power salute, or a Heil Hitler directed at Uberfuhrer Nobama????

Biff August 4, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Who's the token white chick in the picture?

ChernobylSoup August 4, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Bussed her in from Westchester. Court order.

Joshua Norton August 4, 2012 at 2:56 pm

THREAD NEEDZ MOAR TEBOW AND JEEBUS!!11!!!

Spurning Beer August 4, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Up Against the Waldorf, My Friend.

eaglewon August 4, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Gabby's cousin.

Biff August 4, 2012 at 3:12 pm

That's kinda how my family tree looks, too.

DCBloom August 4, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Yeah, mine too. All we need is an Australian aborigine and we just about got all our bases covered

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 4:42 pm

That is wonderful! Dinner with the extended family must be like a UN meeting. :)

Chet Kincaid_ August 4, 2012 at 11:58 pm

It's Shawn Johnson, American gymnastic medalist from the 2008 Olympics, dumb-dumbs. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2183256/G
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shawn_johnson

DonnyKerabotsos August 4, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Be patient. I'm sure we are just hours away from an exclusive Jerome Corsi expose' about socialist euro-elitist, NWO loving, NATO worshiping, Olympic judges declaring her the winner because it's a certain Kenyan's usurper's birthday (according to his forged birth certificate).

What other reason could there be?

Oh yeah. And she's awesome. So there's that.

MumbletyPesade August 4, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Power salutes — rather generic seeming, easily loaded with multiple associations. Anyway, Ann Romney and her horse are standing by to claim they thought of it first.

Blueb4sinrise August 4, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Horse Power!

MumbletyPesade August 4, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Riders, too. All that's left is the trainer for full triangulated poseur confluence.

RadioBowels August 4, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Blah Power!

MumbletyPesade August 4, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Blahk Beauty, notably, is Santorum's favorite documentary on the equestrian arts.

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 11:21 pm

I woulda guessed The Black Stallion , but whatevs.

SayItWithWookies August 4, 2012 at 4:27 pm

I thought when the horse had two hooves in the air, it was hoping its rider would die in battle. And yet miraculously, no Romney in living memory has ever been harmed in war.

MumbletyPesade August 4, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Well that explains why the local living monuments to history's equine heroes aren't saluting their illustrious forebear when provided the opportunity — if they did, their seated passengers would get the wrong idea.

SayItWithWookies August 4, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Aww — and you met some of them last night. Hope you had a wonderful birthday, my love.

MumbletyPesade August 4, 2012 at 9:57 pm

; )
I did, and still am! in spite of NBC-selected event coverage being boring as beans.

Butch_Wagstaff August 4, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Heh. I used to live a just off of Stuart Circle which is a block away from this. I always found Stuart's monument to be very cartoonish compared to Mr. Robert E. Lee's.

MumbletyPesade August 4, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Ha, I lived around there too, late 1990s. One could see St. Bob's head, barely among the treetops, from the apartment's conveniently flat roof (accessible via fire escape stair-ladder, of course)

SayItWithWookies August 4, 2012 at 11:26 pm

A friend of mine had an apartment on the north side of the Lee monument, i.e. facing the back end of the horse. We used to refer to his address as "Traveller's Asshole, VA."

Wadisay August 4, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Gabby's mom is intimidating white voters!!!

Mittens Howell, III August 4, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Gabby's 'The Glory Belongs To God' talk threw them.

Cognitive dissonance. It's a bitch.

Negropolis August 4, 2012 at 11:25 pm

And then they were thrown by the fact that's she's been raised by the whitest family in the state of Iowa for the past two years during her training.

Designer_Rants August 4, 2012 at 11:29 pm

And they surely forced her to gay marry since it's legal in Iowa.

Joshua Norton August 4, 2012 at 3:11 pm

They used up all their pout-rage over Broadway paying tribute to Gore Vidal. They haven't had time to digest their breakfast bile yet.

Give them a chance to take it all in and decide how this is the worst thing since 9/11…

humanmanc August 4, 2012 at 3:22 pm

I'm Barack Obama and I endorse this Black Power Salute because its the same one we use in Kenya whenever a white person is beheaded.
Brought to you by sum mightily richer than shazit white guyz that have a colored guy for a friend.

Guppy August 4, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Not sure if snark or troll…

humanmanc August 4, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Snark snark snark…this is a humor induced site my friend. Thanks for policing the intertubes however.

RadioBowels August 4, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Maybe they are still "vetting" Jenna Jameson?

SayItWithWookies August 4, 2012 at 4:28 pm

So that's what they call it. Oh wait — it's not really a double entendre if it's literally true, is it? Nevermind.

Boojum August 4, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Years ago, that would have been the job to have. Now, it'd be more like an archaeological dig.

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 11:23 pm

With a fisting gesture…? …oh, I get it.

Left_Leftie August 4, 2012 at 3:31 pm

They're too busy talking about her hair.

Oh, Serena just took gold in tennis. Black Womenz be DOMINATING!!!!

Michelle Obama 2016!

Fred_Wertham_Jr August 4, 2012 at 3:53 pm

"Michelle Obama 2016!"

That would be a fine rumor to start. A surefire head-exploder.

SayItWithWookies August 4, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Obama-Clinton 2016. Actually Hillary would probably eat her own heart out before becoming anybody's VP. Nevertheless, it wold add to the shock value.

Negropolis August 4, 2012 at 11:27 pm

I still think if Obama offered her the spot in the next few months, she'd take it. But that window is closing quickly.

MissNancyPriss August 4, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Sasha/Malia 2052!

bobbert August 4, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Serena needs to move up to a higher league.

Left_Leftie August 5, 2012 at 4:14 pm

FOX found a way to complain about the Olympics without appearing racist: No one is chanting USA
http://gawker.com/5931933/fox-news-wonders-why-do

gullywompr August 4, 2012 at 3:36 pm

The wingnutz silence is easy to explain – since England insulted Romney, they're refusing to watch.

Biff August 4, 2012 at 4:32 pm

The fact that it was the right wingnutz who first insulted him notwithstanding…

AutomaticPilot August 4, 2012 at 7:49 pm

I know, can you BELIEVE Great Britain has not yet apologized to Romney??

BarackMyWorld August 4, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Good thing nobody ever gave that salute on the podium while getting a medal. Then you'd really see people lose their shit. (Especially if it was held in a non-white place like Mexico City.)

Monsieur_Grumpe August 4, 2012 at 3:52 pm

I suppose the American flag she's clutching ing her other hand is confusing them.

Ooh let me try.
Well, there goes the watermelon sponsorship.

Guppy August 4, 2012 at 4:13 pm

There's gold fringe on it, therefore she's an admiralty court and doesn't count.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 4, 2012 at 10:15 pm

I just assumed she got out her lighter and burned it the moment after the photo was taken.

Lynne August 4, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Gabby Douglas is the most awesome example of black power that I have seen in a very long time. Go, Gabby!

le_derppage August 4, 2012 at 4:02 pm

OT, but Jessica Ennis is fucking amazing!

Negropolis August 4, 2012 at 11:28 pm

I know, right? She beat all of those Amazons.

le_derppage August 4, 2012 at 11:55 pm

The bronze & silver medalists towered over her on the podium. I can see how being smaller could be helpful in some of those events, but watching her throw that javelin that far just fucked up my notions of possibility & impossibility.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 4, 2012 at 4:03 pm

During Serena William's medal ceremony the US American flag fell off and flew away during the Star Spangled Banner! I think we all know what that means!!!

Biff August 4, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Why does Serena Williams England hate America?

NellCote71 August 6, 2012 at 1:43 am

Because Romney?

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 4, 2012 at 10:18 pm

God has caste his judgment on this whore and homo loving country?

HarryButtle August 4, 2012 at 4:07 pm

"Where’s the treatise on Reverse Racism and the New Black Panther Party and Eric Holder…"

What's speed skating got to do with this? Isn't this the Summer Games? Oh, wait, you said Eric HOLDER. Nevermind.

finallyhappy August 4, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Holder – the guy with the huge thighs- not that I was looking

johnnyzhivago August 4, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Actually FOX is freaking out – notz enufz starz n' stripes on them there uniforms!!!!!

boobookitteh August 4, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Them there uniforms that was made in China?

Also, too, isn't it technically against the Flag code to wear the flag as clothes?

Oh, yes. It totally is. http://www.usflag.org/uscode36.html

Why does Fox news hate the American Flag?

Misty Malarky August 4, 2012 at 4:29 pm

The horizonal stripes make their chicken diabetes bloated bodies look fat.

And the stars make it look 'faggy'.

GregComlish August 4, 2012 at 4:30 pm

The black power salute has lost its ability to shock in the wake of the Barack Hussein Hussein Obama Hussein "Fuck the Police" terrorist fist jab

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 4, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Don't worry. FOX News will be using this photo after the election with the caption "Black Power Protester Suppresses White Vote."

DerrickWildcat August 4, 2012 at 5:03 pm

I am outraged.

Biff August 4, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Calm the fuck down…

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 11:28 pm

Won't SOMEONE think of the childrzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Negropolis August 4, 2012 at 11:29 pm

I am outraged at your outrage!

SayItWithWookies August 5, 2012 at 12:48 am

This is getting completely out of hand.

Negropolis August 5, 2012 at 1:07 am

How dare you, sir! I challenge you to a duel! Snark at dawn, twenty paces.

SayItWithWookies August 5, 2012 at 1:27 am

As long as performance-enhancing drugs are allowed — specifically mimosas and weed.

shelwood46 August 5, 2012 at 2:25 am

I believe the approved duel weapon in America is now the chicken sandwich.

Come here a minute August 4, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Gets elected to the House of Representatives from Arizona, gets shot in the head, and then goes on to win Olympic gold — what an incredible woman! Gabby, we salute you!

ChernobylSoup August 4, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Satan would like a word with you. Something about a job opportunity.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 4, 2012 at 7:44 pm

More like an internship.

Negropolis August 4, 2012 at 11:29 pm

What, too soon?

SayItWithWookies August 5, 2012 at 1:58 am

Wait — she's, like, 14 and married to an astronaut? What's going on here? Could she be some sort of Muslim? Why isn't the State Department investigating this? I'm not accusing, I'm just asking the questions.

Negropolis August 5, 2012 at 4:30 am

Either a Muslim or a Texas Mormon.

sati_demise August 5, 2012 at 8:00 pm

that was so bad but I laughed anyway. you from Floriduh, amirite?

johnnyzhivago August 4, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Thanks to Chascates' link in Wonkville, I've fixed up and corrected the article on "25 things about America if everyone was a conservative tea partier":
http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com

chascates August 4, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Masterfully done, sir!

C_R_Eature August 4, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Magnificent! Thank you for reading Wonkville.

#7: "Mutants for Nukes"!

BlueStateLibel August 4, 2012 at 8:18 pm

Very nicely done!

sewollef August 5, 2012 at 8:42 am

13) English would be the national language, just like Jesus used.

Sir, you have taught me something here. I never knew Jesus spoke the Queen's English, I always thought he was of a darker complexion who therefore spoke one of those lesser languages, from one of our former colonies.

I'm so glad to be straightened out on that one.

C_R_Eature August 5, 2012 at 10:53 am

It's not widely publicized, but He did speak with a Cockney accent.

Matthew 5:9 : "Blimey! Blessed are da peacemakers:
fer they shall be called da children ov God. Nuff said, yeah?"

AlterNewt August 4, 2012 at 5:41 pm

…And what's with Gabby and her family being all, y'know…attractive?

I think they're up to somthin'. That's what I think.

buffalogal August 4, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Yes, "I don't like her hair," is far worse than anything that Klan could have dished out.

anniegetyerfun August 5, 2012 at 2:52 am

Oh, I see you beat me to this by eight hours. The gall of that fucking Schlussseelllslslslldldk woman, I swear.

mavenmaven August 4, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Don't worry, we will hear it all the moment she says she supports Obama (or says anything).

fishwharf August 4, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Fear not. Rush will have talking points for the wing nuts come Monday.

Misty Malarky August 4, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Yeah – but can she out dance Rafalca?

HistoriCat August 4, 2012 at 11:54 pm

Helloooo! She's black – of course she can dance!

ibwilliamsi August 4, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Honestly, they are all so sick and feeble they didn't even make the connection to 1968. You KNOW they can't keep a thought in their head that wasn't planted there by Fox News beyond the time that it takes them to crap it back out again.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 August 4, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Oh don't worry…they have the national review, john birch society, the Koch brothers, Faux Nuuz to make that connection for them. They are not referred to as authoritarians for nothing after all…

Angry_Marmot August 4, 2012 at 6:42 pm

It's not as if they gained wisdom after being mocked for the "terrorist fist bump"; they simply learned to panic over something else.

ChernobylSoup August 4, 2012 at 7:06 pm

OT, but @neiltyson and @marscuriosity are carrying on a cool conversation on twitter right now.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 4, 2012 at 8:34 pm

The NBC jab was hilarious.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 4, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Is he cheering for the Mars Curiosity probe to stick its landing?

ChernobylSoup August 5, 2012 at 12:24 am

He actually did do just that.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 5, 2012 at 7:50 am

Not the first time Tyson's been a step ahead of me…

C_R_Eature August 5, 2012 at 8:01 am

"Dear @MarsCuriosity, What are your instructions if a Martian crawls onto your back and rides you like a Rodeo Bull?"

Those NASA people really plan for everything, don't they?

Schmegeg August 4, 2012 at 7:13 pm

What kind of chicken sandwiches does Gabby like?

Carabella1 August 4, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Gabby looks like the child I would have had with the black guy I was so crazy about years ago. No, really. True story. She's adorable.

Chet Kincaid_ August 5, 2012 at 12:12 am

I've joined the Nation of Islam.

VinnyThePooh August 4, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Glenn Beck will tell his loyal listeners to sell their gold to devalue her medals.

TribecaMike August 4, 2012 at 7:51 pm

Bit o' trivia: Notice how in the photo from the 1968 Mexico City Olympics the Americans, Tommie Smith and John Carlos, are raising different arms? That's because they were so nervous or busy before coming out to receive their medals that they forgot to bring their gloves. The bronze winner, Aussie Peter Norman lend them his, and for this gesture of solidarity he was ostracized by his nation's athletic establishment until his dying day. The three became fast friends and Smith and Carlos were pallbearers at Norman's funeral in 2006. They were not only superb athletes but class acts all the way.

Good on ya, Pete, wherever you are!

LagunaB August 4, 2012 at 8:19 pm

Fair dinkum.

LagunaB August 4, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Fair Dickum.

LagunaB August 4, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Mike – Sorry about the double post. Apparently my I-Phone account for posting is being blocked. But it shows up on my main computer. Maybe this will go through.

Fair dinkum.

TribecaMike August 4, 2012 at 9:20 pm

I thought it was aptly hilarious, and still do!

BZ1 August 4, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Congrats Gabby, ya did good.

Sharkey August 4, 2012 at 8:18 pm

This is the top story on Sideboob right now.

imissopus August 4, 2012 at 8:43 pm

I read somewhere that Gabby's dad is serving in Afghanistan right now with the Air Force. So maybe that will keep the nuts from coming out of the woodwork. Or else they will bitch at her mother for defaming FREEDOM while Gabby's dad is in uniform defending it. Could go either way. I'm going to start my Saturday night drinking now.

TribecaMike August 4, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Cheers

not that Dewey August 4, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Well, I read on the Breitbart sites that Gabby praised God for her victory, and the Breitbunatics were all like "AHA CHOKE ON THAT, LIEBRULS" as though anybody would actually object to Gabby's faith, or indeed even notice.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 4, 2012 at 8:45 pm

I'm thinking that the overwhelming proof of the existence of Serena Williams, Gabby, and the Obamas, all at once, may have finally knocked the fuckers out of their Faux-News induced alternative universe.

TribecaMike August 4, 2012 at 9:01 pm

There was a collective cracker pants crap when African-American Lauren Perdue appeared on the US women's swimming team. Good times, unless you happened to be working at a dry cleaning joint.

As for Ms. Williams, don't get me started. I'm a fan of the old skool serve and volley who has no interest in our era's obsession with bam bam bam. The same goes for baseball and its obsession with homers. Feckin' kids with their aluminium bats and loud rock & roll, get off my astroturfed™ lawn!

Biel_ze_Bubba August 4, 2012 at 11:03 pm

The only way Williams gets into a sustained volley is if she's going easy on her opponent. I guess she was just in a hurry today.

Negropolis August 4, 2012 at 11:33 pm

"In my day…"

TribecaMike August 5, 2012 at 12:40 am

Why, in my day roosters were as tall as skyscrapers and crinoline was never confused with taffeta. That is until Rupert Murdoch came on the scene and convinced millions to believe otherwise.

C_R_Eature August 5, 2012 at 10:59 am

In My Day, we didn't have fellatio. We had to do everything by hand.

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 11:43 pm

"Feckin' kids with their aluminium bats"

the guy who played Paulie Walnuts on "The Sopranos" used to be a real leg-breaker for the mob before he became an actor. His preferred weapon of choice was golf clubs, because wooden baseball bats broke too easily. Of course, aluminum bats wouldn't break, but then ya got no respect for tradition.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 4, 2012 at 11:55 pm

"Hey Paulie — watch this swing!"

viennawoods13 August 5, 2012 at 10:15 am

My son plays in a league which only permits wooden bats. (Of course, he went out and bought himself a Louisville Slugger) Dammit, they just sound right.

C_R_Eature August 5, 2012 at 10:58 am

You know who else got very upset when a Black Person won Gold at the Olympics?

NellCote71 August 6, 2012 at 1:36 am

Finally. An appropriate use of that particular meme.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 August 4, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Rebecca…just give 'em time, this all must filter through the dogshit repository of wingnut facts. If Obama comments on, or congratulates Gabby Douglass whatsoever, then it's on sort of like how wingnuts 'allegedly' weren't going to get involved in the Zimmerman-Martin affair (pure revision, those fuck faces were in full blown racism mode) until Obama said the 'vicious' "we will take this seriously" line and apologized to Trayvon's parents. Just you wait, they are baiting the outrage trap and waiting for Bamz to single out Gabby and then "OMG he's black and saying something nice to a black woman, racism, racism!" "Gabby's mom evoked black power!" Derp, Derp, "thems is worse than abortions and 9/11s" will begin. Beck: "see, I told you he's racist!" and others will chime in. This entire non-controversy I'm thinking is predicated upon what Bamz McHopey does as always, hence the term reactionary…

TribecaMike August 4, 2012 at 9:37 pm

The Large Hadron Collider has disproved the existence of the Zimmerman-Martin particle, excepting for the crackpot dissent of physicist-Scientologist-Stabschef SA Viktor Rove, brother of Karl and first cousin of those microscopic worms that live in one's eyebrows.

ttommyunger August 4, 2012 at 9:39 pm

They're just waiting for the "go-ahead" from Generalissimo Limbaugh. He usually takes weekend off with his rentboys to "recharge".

TribecaMike August 4, 2012 at 9:50 pm

According to rightwing lore, Lush Rimbaugh was born in a log cabana and made his name as a tail splinter. The entire nation was highly amused when he was assassinated at Ford's Theater by a Libertarian vegan. (Source: Conservapedia)

littlebigdaddy August 4, 2012 at 10:14 pm

It's a Reverend Wright moment. I demand to see Obama's long form birth certificate. Too, also.

barto August 4, 2012 at 10:34 pm

Uhoh. The blahs are being racist against themselves now. Give 'em and inch…

barto August 4, 2012 at 10:36 pm

I was actually living in Mexico when that happened (and of course the student massacre that preceded the Olys). It was complete BULLSHIT that they pulled their medals. Go Gabbys Mom!

TribecaMike August 4, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Meanwhile, Wolf Blitzer and Oprah Winfrey are facing stiff competition from Deepak Chopra in the one meter narcissist sprint. My money's on the veteran Arianna Huffington regaining her title, and the NY Times' Bill Keller pulling off an upset for the bronze, that is if he doesn't drunkenly pull off Tina Brown's camisole first, then all bets are off.

Negropolis August 4, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Let me offer my well-placed "Fuck 'em". Gabby and her family are proud Americans and can display that pride however the hell they want.

Sorry, wingnuts. Your president is still black, and he's still going to be black when he is re-elected in November against that human-like robot foisted upon you by your monied establishment. Go take out your rage on somebody else.

fartknocker August 5, 2012 at 6:52 am

Thank you. And tonight, I am going to sit in front of my tee vee and watch these young women compete one more time in London. This nonsense is utter bullshit.

C_R_Eature August 5, 2012 at 7:46 am

Vigorously Thumbed Up.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 4, 2012 at 11:25 pm

The 'baggers are topping up their outrage tanks for the moment they find out about the coke-fueled orgy between the USA "Dream Team" and the Dutch field hockey team.

le_derppage August 4, 2012 at 11:36 pm

Orange knee socks are known to be a powerful aphrodisiac.

TribecaMike August 4, 2012 at 11:41 pm

I'm Dutch on my momma's side, and nobody in my family is a gazillioneth a % as tanned as they are. They must be ringers. Very hot ringers, but their lack of beer bellies makes them suspect.

RadioBowels August 4, 2012 at 11:53 pm

It's like that night in the Olympic Village in '36 when Jesse Owens and Leni Riefenstahl hooked up. Needless to say, the "community organizers" were not happy.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 5, 2012 at 12:12 am

You know how it is … she never thought the film would get out.

sudsmckenzie August 5, 2012 at 1:06 am

My Olympic Dream is to watch them all run down the field and whack Bob Costas in the nutz.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 5, 2012 at 5:46 am

Ow. Any ball that's in line for whacking by these women is in for a world of pain.

C_R_Eature August 5, 2012 at 7:32 am

That comment made my entire Olympics experience great. Thank you.

ElPinche August 5, 2012 at 1:24 am

Why am I thinking "Human Centipede" when I see the Dutch field hockey team.?? ..i blame the jagermeister

HistoriCat August 5, 2012 at 12:06 am

Maybe they didn't catch the black power salute buried in among the 2000 hours of coverage about Michael Phelps at the 2012 Michael Phelps Games. I'm sure I've seen them talk about him drying his hair and his ass-wiping technique.

Also, I saw Jessica Ennis after she won the heptathalon. I hereby declare a moratorium on jokes about British teeth – her smile is fantastic and she is faptastic.

RadioBowels August 5, 2012 at 12:22 am

I'm with you on the Phelps hype, worst of all is the infernal shots of his mother in the stands. Arghh.

But yeah on Jessica Ennis.

anniegetyerfun August 5, 2012 at 2:45 am

That's why this headline made me choke on my dinner.

DHarcavy August 5, 2012 at 12:40 am

I suspect the wingnuts haven't said anything because she gave all the credit for her performance to Jesus. So precious!

Designer_Rants August 5, 2012 at 12:50 am

I'm watching Ken Burns' "The War" right now. Even in a time of coming together in our nation, where all citizens who weren't fighting overseas were working their asses off in factories toward a single cause; there was extreme and widespread racial hate. When the shipyards in Mobile tried to integrate, there was a knock-down drag-out in the parking lot where women even got in and bloodied. The integration didn't happen.

When some Japanese-American got out of his internment camp to be sent to the front line, he found himself on a bus in the south where all the "coloreds" had to sit in the back and the whites sat in the front — he didn't know where he fit in.

But reconcile that with the fact we now have a black president.

Even though it feels sometimes this country is a cauldron of bubbling nationalism, racism, jingoism, (and whatever hateful ism) ready to boil over, I still think these assholes are a dying breed. I think each generation leaves more hate and ignorance behind. And "Greatest Generation" my ass.

TribecaMike August 5, 2012 at 1:01 am

Every time someone calls into question the idea of "the greatest generation" Tom Brokaw and his publisher lose one day of their hackish lives. Kinda like Zuzu's petals, if Zuzu hadn't dropped acid in the sixties while reading Thomas Pynchon.

Pap Finn August 5, 2012 at 1:16 am

Yeah, but look, Old Glory's in her *left* hand – the Unclean Hand, according to Islamic custom. Ergo, she's a radical Muslim black lady Terror Symp who hates our freedoms, QED.

TribecaMike August 5, 2012 at 1:21 am

"The Unclean Hand" is also Callista's nickname for Newt, but enough about pillow talk.

Pap Finn August 5, 2012 at 1:31 am

I heard that The Smothering Meatmallow is her pet name for Newt's scr – oh, God, never mind.

anniegetyerfun August 5, 2012 at 2:34 am

Debbie Schlusselmuncher's column is really worth a read, though. Something about Black people being more racist than the Klan could have ever hoped to be.

danielwalldammit August 5, 2012 at 4:26 am

Heh, …they didn't recognize it.

neiltheblaze August 5, 2012 at 7:25 am

Maybe they're afraid she'll beat them up.

Lynne August 5, 2012 at 11:15 am

You know, as I think of this, when I was sitting in front of the television cheering for all our U.S. Olympic athletes, every time anyone got the gold, while I was yelling like crazy, I did two very obvious black power salutes (one with each fist) and I never realized how wonderfully radical I was…me bein' white an' all.

Blueb4sinrise August 5, 2012 at 11:52 am

Tucson Lunatic to plead 'Guilty' [warning-large photo ]
http://azstarnet.com/news/local/crime/in-abrupt-t

Tucson Wanker apologizes.
http://azstarnet.com/news/local/chick-fil-a-video

PuglyDoRight August 5, 2012 at 5:14 pm

She has every right to give a power salute…it's my understanding that Gabby's dad was watching from Afghanistan, where he's currently serving.

So they can all suck it as far as I'm concerned.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 6, 2012 at 3:35 am

Re the shootings in Wisconsin, the howling freeper nutbags have already arranged the not-facts rattling around in their hollow, tinfoil-covered heads:

"You know damn well that some media folks know the perp’s name though already. They don’t want his name released where the new media [i.e., wingnuts Googling one another's blogs] can do any digging on him. Everything and anything linking him to the left or away from the right will be erased off the Internet by tonight. Something stinks for sure."

Sheer genius: all the facts that we're going to learn about this teabagger-wingnut-skinhead nutcase have already been pre-denied — and the absence of proof that the guy was a commie ACORN operative on the Obama payroll is proof that it used to exist. Seems they've discovered that that Romney-retroactive shit is some powerful juju.

Oh, and anything that Obama says (it don't actually matter what he says) is already pre-condemned as politically motivated, obviously, Q.E.D.

dopper0189 August 6, 2012 at 6:16 am

You guys are all idiots! That is clearly a long distance terrorist fist bump, not a black power salute, what hell is your ghetto IQ. GEEEEEZZZZZZZZ

boobookitteh August 4, 2012 at 3:09 pm

I can't stomach anymore puns.

RadioBowels August 4, 2012 at 3:14 pm

That joke took some guts.

C_R_Eature August 4, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Agreed. this kidneying around has got to stop.

rickmaci August 4, 2012 at 3:36 pm

They are getting hard to swallow.

boobookitteh August 4, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Now urine trouble!

C_R_Eature August 4, 2012 at 3:29 pm

I can be such a Dopamine.

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 4:55 pm

(Hugs the CRE_ature in a cephalopod hug) I'm doing a great deal better, and it's largely thanks to you. I can still hear each of those pieces. Just amazing. Everybody should be so lucky as to be gifted with a CRE_ature of rare musical taste for a friend.

I have decided, in the interest of my continued sanity and wellbeing, to stop reading about war and torture for a while. It's been two years now, and just about all I've read is accounts of conflict and the darkest descriptions of our inhumanity. I am putting those books aside this very day and reading about photography and film instead. Just got a new camera and it's time to take it out somewhere and take pretty pitchers instead of reading about Tuol Sleng.

Geminisunmars August 4, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Good idea, MB. I think I'll just spend more time hanging with the dogs and maybe drawing and maybe sending you stalking emails. That is, when I'm not shlepping the ole man to the docs.

C_R_Eature August 4, 2012 at 5:20 pm

It's my honor to do these things and I am very glad to hear that you are better.

Putting down The Horror for now is a wise choice. I can't watch disturbing movies or read disturbing books anymore either and I've really had to cut down on my Media intake. These are not good days for a News Junkie. At least, for one who has any hope for the future at all. Real Life is sufficiently furnished with terrible things that I don't want to go looking for more.

Have fun and gook luck with your photo hobby. I hope you'll be posting pretty pictures, soon.

As your Electronic Cephalopod, I advise you to read this book when you get the time. It won't take long and you will laugh. Quite a lot, if you have the same kind of humor that I have. Trivia fact: My very first Avatar on IntenseDebate was a character from this.

Lastly, Jimmy Cliff is back! Touring, with a new album.

Enjoy.

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 11:04 pm

If you're on facebook, you might enjoy Fans of Photography and/or Earthschool Harmony — both have beautiful and unusual nature photos.

HistoriCat August 4, 2012 at 11:41 pm

I admire your dedication to a theme but mixing things up is a good strategy – especially when you have a focus on the worst acts of humanity. You have to mix some toe-tapping musical in with your Ingmar Bergman is what I'm saying.

le_derppage August 5, 2012 at 12:21 am

This is an incredibly kewl web site of panoramic photos of World Heritage sites.

The link below takes you to Angkor, but you can navigate to other parts of the world if you like. The nifty part is that if you click on the photos & drag your mouse around, you get a 360-degree panorama of the site photographed: http://bit.ly/RnFOFB

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 5:15 pm

That sounds utterly thrilling, darls! I haven't been stalked via email in ages. Let's withdraw into the quiet room of our minds, and chat as good friends will.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 4, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Agreed. Perhaps we should rest upon this stool.

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Thank you, my dear.

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Rest assured, he's not even in your state. But, yeah, one just gets the chills from reading shit like this. Of course, thank TPTB, the last bazillion murders in this area have almost ALWAYS been attributable to (1) domestic violence; (2) insanity; and (3) gangs. Not to discount the murders of Moscone and Milk, but not much liberal-killin' has gone on in these parts since then.

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Ooooo. Also, too O_o.

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 10:45 pm

*waves hand*

Ooh! Ooh!
Ann Romney would enter the giant wooden horse in the Olympics, and lose like hell; and then Mitt would buy a bunch of companies and put a bunch of Americans out of work.
*proud*

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Thanks, sweetie! (Hugs the tessiee) What a lovely gift to get.

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 11:50 pm

I know, sweetie. I'm trying to cram 20 years of reading into five, I suppose.

MittBorg August 5, 2012 at 12:11 am

Who, the token white chick? OK.

Biff August 5, 2012 at 12:35 pm

I haven't watched any of the Games this year, and haven't really watched girls gymnastics since I was a teenager myself, so I forgive myself for being ignorant on the stars of the sport.

Chet Kincaid_ August 5, 2012 at 12:17 am

I regret using that kind of language, and I apologize in advance for doing so again in the future.

Negropolis August 5, 2012 at 4:32 am

Judging by all of the mass shootings, I think it's still assault rifles.

C_R_Eature August 5, 2012 at 6:18 am

Now that's the kind of thinking that makes America great!

MittBorg August 5, 2012 at 1:25 pm

And you *should* be.

MumbletyPesade August 5, 2012 at 6:55 am

Touchéighhh.

C_R_Eature August 5, 2012 at 7:44 am

We don't do that here at Wonkette. The Approved Duel Method here is hurling TruckNutz at 6 paces, after drinking a fifth of Wild Turkey.
Closest miss wins (as measured to the center of body by Your Second). Last one to fall over wins bonus round. Vomiting on yourself, or bystanders, is an immediate forfeit.

Negropolis August 5, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Gawd. And then there is another mass shooting, today. It doesn't even make it worth it to snark about them, anymore. :(

thatsitfortheother1 August 5, 2012 at 11:38 am

Ima busta capillary in yo ass.

thatsitfortheother1 August 5, 2012 at 11:51 am

I guess you can't say capillary here. Not if you mention busting it, at any rate. Inyoass, as it were.

thatsitfortheother1 August 5, 2012 at 11:58 am

Very humerus.

starfanglednut August 5, 2012 at 4:28 pm

*puts email stalking of Z on to do list.

MittBorg August 5, 2012 at 4:36 pm

(Hugs you) Oh, sweetie, you can stalk me any time, you know that.

ETA: Off to do some much-needed shopping, so please wait for at least 2 hrs before beginning Teh Stalkment. (mwah)

NellCote71 August 6, 2012 at 1:33 am

So you apologize if we were offended or will be offended in the future?

Chet Kincaid_ August 6, 2012 at 2:32 am

And I retroactively offend you.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 6, 2012 at 3:04 am

You're doing it wrong: You want to retroactively apologize in advance.

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