LET THEM EAT IT  11:10 am August 4, 2012

It Is Your Birthday, Barack Obama

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

And the cake was made of POO!
Hello, Barack Obama! It is your birthday! You are 51 years old. What things did not exist before you were born? ATM cards! Yeah, if you ran out of money over the weekend, you had to go to a grocery store, and the manager had to okay your writing a check! Remember that? So weird. What else did not exist when you were born? THE ROLLING STONES. THAT is how old you are! Anyway, the wags at the RNC sent you this delicious cake to enjoy at your hip-hop barbecue that doesn’t create jobs, but your people sent it back because apparently they have no sense of humor. They are probably all feminists.

What they should have done, probably, is just eaten the cake! And taken pictures of themselves enjoying the cake! And then sent the RNC the pictures with a really nice note thanking them for the delicious cake! That would have been such a BURN, like ‘you guys are so nice for sending us this delicious cake, it is good to have political opponents be such nice friends!’ Then the RNC would have shaken their fists to the heavens and shouted “FOILED AGAIN!”

Right, so like we said, you are 51. Lookin’ good, Mr. President. Lookin’ mighty good. Probably because Michelle only lets you eat cake made of BROCCOLI! Is that still a thing that people talk about? Apparently so, and it, unlike you, NEVER GETS OLD. So, broccoli cake it is then. Haw. Haw.

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 257 comments }

Barb_ August 4, 2012 at 11:12 am

We've decided to get a beautiful woman to jump out of a cake in honor of Barack's birthday. Luckily, Limey Lizzie doesn't mind getting frosting in her hair.

Limeylizzie August 4, 2012 at 11:51 am

My tits would get caught before my hair DID.

BarackMyWorld August 4, 2012 at 11:52 am

I'd like to see what you did there.

AlterNewt August 4, 2012 at 12:54 pm

I see what you did there ..with..the..liking ..to ..see..what…..never mind.

Extemporanus August 4, 2012 at 12:53 pm

I warned you a couple weeks ago about jumping out of birthday cakes, Lizzie.

You should stick to singing Strip-O-Grams…

CapnFatowls August 4, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Your knowledge of household accidents attributed to baked goods knows no bounds.

That's you, E-nus, putting the "tweet" in re-tweet.

rocktonsam August 4, 2012 at 3:53 pm

your what now?

Steverino247 August 4, 2012 at 12:16 pm

This hair you speak of. Is it near any places that need licking?

Boojum August 4, 2012 at 12:21 pm

That's not frosting.

James Michael Curley August 4, 2012 at 12:35 pm

No! Limey! Don't! Do! It!
President – Marilyn Monroe – Birthday – Dead 51 days later!

Biff August 4, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Fine, as long as it isn't that dreadful Jenna Jamison.

NellCote71 August 4, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Boobs caught.

Angry_Marmot August 4, 2012 at 2:29 pm

A few too many drinks in 'er, and you'll see cake jump out of a beautiful woman.

Steverino247 August 4, 2012 at 2:38 pm

And then there's the bulemic bachelor party where the cake comes out of the girl!

viennawoods13 August 4, 2012 at 11:16 am

You know, Mitt and his buddies really are acting like stupid teenagers. I am reminded of the bus driving around and around. Next, watch for 100's of pizzas being delivered to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

iburl August 4, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Flaming bag of dancing horse poop on the doorstep.

Biff August 4, 2012 at 2:03 pm

You're onto them, iburl.

HarryButtle August 4, 2012 at 1:11 pm

You just know there was Ex-Lax baked into that cake…

BerkeleyBear August 4, 2012 at 3:08 pm

They already did a variant of that – sending their leftover deep dish to Obama HQ.

Which is another reason to hate Mittiens – everyone knows leftover Chicago-style pizza is golden, you just don't fucking give it away.
http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/05/specia

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Total fucking brats. Not funny, not particularly clever, not remarkable in any way, just snotty.

Boojum August 5, 2012 at 9:11 am

Obviously, Mittens thought these up himself.

MittBorg August 5, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Words fail me, dear Boojum.

horsedreamer_1 August 5, 2012 at 2:08 pm

That Romney spox quoted in the update at TPM was two years ahead of me in college. Always nice to see mates from the ol' alma mater make bad.

Come here a minute August 4, 2012 at 11:20 am

Isn't that the "I'm about to kill Osama" laugh? Thanks GOP, for reminding President Obama what a bad-ass he is for his bird day.

soeoho August 4, 2012 at 12:09 pm

I'm a thinkin' that it's a Louis Armstrong impersonation. Damn good one at that.

DerrickWildcat August 4, 2012 at 11:22 am

Bush never had a Birthday when he was in office.

Mittens Howell, III August 4, 2012 at 11:36 am

No, but he did throw a nice little birthday party for McCain while Katrina was flattening New Orleans.

Boojum August 4, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Can't have a birf day with no BIRF CERIFITIFICAKE!!!1!1!1 n

le_derppage August 4, 2012 at 12:34 pm

True- he rarely was in office. Always seemed to be off clearing brush in Crawford or muttering about terrorists on golf courses…

Butch_Wagstaff August 4, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Or trying to figure out how doors worked.

bobbert August 4, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Fucking doors …..

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Bush wasn't born; he was excreted.

Jukesgrrl August 4, 2012 at 10:39 pm

By Cheney.

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Although his mother was often heard to say, "Let them eat cake".

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 2:32 pm

He never had a sober day either. There was nothing to celebrate.

Mittens Howell, III August 4, 2012 at 11:27 am

Looks like someone left the cake out in the rain.

weejee August 4, 2012 at 11:55 am

Macarthur Park? Mittens Howell you're on to something!!

That could be the perfect answer to Willard's problem in digging up a Veep. Not Chaney who is the undead or McWalnuts just doesn't know he is dead, but dig-up zombie Douglas "I shall Return" Macarthur.

Mittens/Macrthur 2012

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 2:34 pm

He'll bomb us all into peace and quiet. Well, relative quiet. I understand bombees tend to moan a lot.

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 1:16 pm

OH NOOOOOO!!!

rickmaci August 4, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Nah, it's just a GOTeaP cake, looks all square and patriotic on the outside but vile and rotten to the core on the inside.

IncenseDebate August 4, 2012 at 11:28 am

How olde is undead Cheney?

Mittens Howell, III August 4, 2012 at 11:45 am

472 in people years. 45 in vampire years.

Jukesgrrl August 4, 2012 at 10:43 pm

He's like Dorian Gray. What's deteriorating is the portrait of him that's in his man-sized safe. He will go on forever.

salt_bagel August 4, 2012 at 11:29 am

Gawd that's a terrible Blingee.

BarackMyWorld August 4, 2012 at 11:29 am

Didn't he just have a birthday last year? God, what a damn attention whore.

iburl August 4, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Every year, just like Karl Marx and Saul Alinsky, typical.

BarackMyWorld August 4, 2012 at 2:18 pm

That's how they do it Chicago-style.

NellCote71 August 4, 2012 at 2:26 pm

There he goes, politicizing the birthday process.

Butch_Wagstaff August 4, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Rev. Wright probably put him up to it.

deanbooth August 4, 2012 at 11:29 am

I wonder if it's a white sheet cake or a chocolate lier cake.

BarackMyWorld August 4, 2012 at 11:42 am

Half chocolate half white, for accuracy.

The chocolate side is always throwing the white side under the bus, though.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 4, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Stay frosty, my friends.

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Well, I guess that explains why the frosting is all lopsided and EW.

horsedreamer_1 August 5, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Marble cake libel!!!

Charlie_Foxtrot August 4, 2012 at 1:52 pm

They tried to maneuver Colin Powell into delivering fake yellow cake, but he didn't fall for that one again.

NellCote71 August 4, 2012 at 2:26 pm

V. Good.

Left_Leftie August 4, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Red Velvet or GTFO

VinnieSaltine August 4, 2012 at 9:42 pm

white sheets are for wearing & scaring.

Mittens Howell, III August 4, 2012 at 11:29 am

That cake was part of Romney's campaign, therefore: tax deduction.

Serolf_Divad August 4, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Wonder if a dancing horse was supposed to pop out of it?

Mittens Howell, III August 4, 2012 at 11:30 am

You can tell Obama didn't bake it, because it's a dumbass piece of shit GOP mess.

anniegetyerfun August 4, 2012 at 11:38 am

Seriously – they went to the trouble of getting his picture put on it, and then had a golden retriever apply the rest of the frosting?

Mittens Howell, III August 4, 2012 at 11:47 am

I just want to know what they fed the dog to get that stream of red diarreah around the edges. Chick-fil-A sauce?

johnnyzhivago August 4, 2012 at 11:31 am

Mitt is seriously regretting his promise to Ann that if he loses, he mucks Rafalca's stall for the next four years.

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 1:18 pm

After Rafalca's performance in the Olympics, I think he'll "die in his sleep" long before four years, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

BerkeleyBear August 4, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Insurance + tax writeoff of loss = Romney's idea of a gold medal performance.

johnnyzhivago August 4, 2012 at 11:32 am

Hey, on election night, when Mitt is declared the loser, do you think Ann and the sons will strap Mitt on the roof of the Escalade and drive home?

HistoriCat August 4, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Probably just toss him into the electronics recycling bin at the nearest Best Buy.

le_derppage August 4, 2012 at 12:37 pm

I sure hope those toxic metals do not end up in a land fill…

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 1:19 pm

They'll strap on *something*, all righty.

Jukesgrrl August 4, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Do you really think they have that much imagination? I see them more as having a glass of hot milk and then staying in bed the whole next day in separate (quiet) rooms. On the third day they buy another mansions and a couple more Cadillacs. On the fourth day they'll memorize the GOP strategy to blaming their vice presidential candidate for the loss.

horsedreamer_1 August 5, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Escalade? I would have taken one of those for Barry's wheels.

barto August 4, 2012 at 11:33 am

Goddamit, it's still a sad day when the prezdent is younger than me!
Ah, fuck it, happy b-day Mr Presidente.

James Michael Curley August 4, 2012 at 12:39 pm

And Remember – he will always be younger then you.

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 1:19 pm

But on this speshul day, all of us are younger than we'll ever be again.

bikerlaureate August 4, 2012 at 2:21 pm

If the Liebrual Press wasn't totally in the bag, that would've come out during the Vettening.

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 2:38 pm

I know! Remember when we were young and thought you had to be IMPOSSIBLY OLD to be President? Now it seems any young whippersnapper can do the job.

Sigh. Happy Birthday @BarackObama, you handsome devil, you.

SoBeach August 4, 2012 at 6:02 pm

…it's still a sad day when the prezdent is younger than me!

Well, he'll always be older than me. Ha ha! Of course, when he was elected President of the United States he was the age I am now.

Happy birthday, Mr. President. In 30 minutes I'll be chugging rum punches and grilling food while a couple dozen kids splash around in my pool and their parents raid my liquor cabinet. You'll be hanging out at a barbecue at your home in Chicago, infuriating wingnuts by having fun. Cheers.

Jukesgrrl August 4, 2012 at 10:53 pm

I knew I was in trouble when my doctor was younger than I am.

Schmannnity August 4, 2012 at 11:34 am

That's 102 in Kenyan years.

johnmburt August 4, 2012 at 11:35 am

Definitely should have eaten it. And he should have said, "Hell, no, I didn't bake it — and I don't make a habit of taking credit for what other people did!" And Fox News would have claimed he said "–unlike some people!"

bikerlaureate August 4, 2012 at 2:31 pm

The President merely helped keep the supply chain intact – despite obstruction and lies from the GOP at every possible turn.

Left_Leftie August 4, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Far too witty and ballsy. If Harry "I heard he didn't pay ANY taxes in 10 years" Reid had been in the room, maybe.

anniegetyerfun August 4, 2012 at 11:36 am

What's a "check"?

weejee August 4, 2012 at 11:57 am

It's a hockey thing you do when you think an opponent is bored.

anniegetyerfun August 4, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Well played.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 4, 2012 at 12:32 pm

It's kind of like a Slovak, but at a more northern latitude.

James Michael Curley August 4, 2012 at 12:41 pm

One of those people who live a little to the right of Austria – Home of Rafalca.

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 1:20 pm

What's a "paycheck"?

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 2:39 pm

THAT's more like it!

BarackMyWorld August 4, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Something banks used to take care of before they were put in charge of ruining the country.

doloras August 4, 2012 at 6:21 pm

According to George Orwell in Animal Farm, it's "a piece of paper with a promise to pay written on it". Weird, I know.

WABishop August 4, 2012 at 9:49 pm

She means "cheque".

Mittens Howell, III August 4, 2012 at 11:37 am

Pretty sure the Tea Party outsourced the spelling for that piece of shit cake. Morans.

viennawoods13 August 4, 2012 at 11:39 am

Plus the picture is off-centre. A grocery store cake decorator would have done a better job.

HistoriCat August 4, 2012 at 12:17 pm

You haven't spent much time on Cake Wrecks , have you?

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Im not sure I *should* thank you for implanting this forever in my mind.

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 6:19 pm

I'm surprised they didn't send President Obama this, and think they were being subtle:
http://theplug.net/30/cakewriting.htm

HistoriCat August 4, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Bwa ha ha!

viennawoods13 August 5, 2012 at 10:25 am

I went to a wedding yesterday, and am glad to report that the lovely cake had elegant ribbons made of icing. (I didn't check, but my friend did.)

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Be nice. It was probably some 8 year old kid who doesn't speak English, in a dark cake-decorating sweatshop in one of those loser countries.

anniegetyerfun August 4, 2012 at 11:40 am

Cake is probably poisoned, too, but 'Bamz should have taken a picture of himself pretending to enjoy the cake, at least. And maybe sent a thank you note to them made out of construction paper, with little cut-out hearts glued on, that says, "But I did make this. Thanks, fuckers!"

I honestly don't understand why Obama's campaign isn't constantly asking Wonketteers for advice.

HistoriCat August 4, 2012 at 12:18 pm

I blame the Secret Service – those guys are no fun at all.

NellCote71 August 4, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Except apparently when in Cartegna.

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 1:22 pm

"I honestly don't understand why Obama's campaign isn't constantly asking Wonketteers for advice."

NOW who's being naive?
This site is under constant surveillance by… some kinda secret muslin and/or Chicago political machine… stuff… people.
All of our good ideas are being noted for later use.

anniegetyerfun August 4, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Well, SOMEONE had better use them.

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 2:53 pm

They WILL. In our upcoming trials.

I'm pleading insanity.

WABishop August 4, 2012 at 9:53 pm

I'm on my knees begging for insanity.

LetUsBray August 4, 2012 at 1:51 pm

I'm reminded of the letter I received explaining in patient yet condescending terms how putting truck nutz on Air Force One would have fucked up its aerodynamics…*sniff*

freakishlywrong August 4, 2012 at 11:40 am

"I'm not sure about that cake. They don't look like you made them," Romney said to the woman sitting next to him. "No, no. They came from the local 7-eleven, bakery, or whatever."
Fucker.

BarackMyWorld August 4, 2012 at 11:46 am

Outsourcing!

BarackMyWorld August 4, 2012 at 11:40 am
Mittens Howell, III August 4, 2012 at 11:44 am

Obama's cake can beat up your cake.

emmelemm August 4, 2012 at 11:56 am

That's pretty cool.

Extemporanus August 4, 2012 at 1:10 pm
tessiee August 4, 2012 at 1:24 pm

WTF??? Zombie Obama rising from his sweet, sweet, pastry and butter cream grave???
*frightened*

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 2:55 pm

I love you, but that cake sucks hind end.

Extemporanus August 4, 2012 at 6:13 pm

I love you more, which is why I didn't leak pics of the cake's sucky hind end.

(Speaking of which: Got yer massage, and will kindly return the fervor at the ol' stinky pinky spot sooner or later. I'm too shy to show anyone but Mom my e-male…)

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 6:21 pm

No fair, man, I showed you mine.

And in case you didn't get it, it's blogname_oneword at the gee mailz.

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Nicely done, right down to the red-white-and-blue border.

Serolf_Divad August 4, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Wait, what kind of back-in-time black magic ju ju allowed you to link to a Geocities website?!

BarackMyWorld August 4, 2012 at 2:19 pm

The pic was from 2008 and they never deleted my account.

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Much. I still sure do love me my President, tho.

Mittens Howell, III August 4, 2012 at 11:43 am

This is just a diversion so Mitt wont have to talk about his unreleased tax returns. Put up or shut up, Romney!

Charlie_Foxtrot August 4, 2012 at 2:25 pm

I'm starting to feel sorry for Mitt. I'm astonished that even a wimp as inept as Romney fell into the trap sprung by Harry Reid. Harry Reid!! Mittens has been running against Reid all week. And getting his ass kicked.

"Idiot Mittens" is such a perfect image for him. Harry Reid keeps yanking his mitten, and Mittens keeps smacking himself in the face.

What a loser.

Wadisay August 4, 2012 at 11:48 am

Honestly, Presidential birthdays haven't been the same since Marilyn Monroe passed.

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 11:57 am

Which was 50 years ago tomorrow.
Coincidence???
*ominous music*

Wadisay August 4, 2012 at 11:59 am

I guess the RNC could send Jenna Jamison over to sing Happy Birthday.

Steverino247 August 4, 2012 at 12:33 pm

And with her experience, I'm sure she could sing from her diaphragm, too.

James Michael Curley August 4, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Not in several Red States where they are banned along with the birth control pills.

FlownOver August 4, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Catch a ping pong ball, win a prize.

Butch_Wagstaff August 4, 2012 at 7:21 pm

And if you catch all of them, you get a Cadillac!

aaarrrgh August 4, 2012 at 11:51 am

looks like mitten's campaign is picking up on their candidate's sense of humor.

next they'll tie obama to the roof of the escalade and drive him to canada and give him a haircut.

Buckminster August 4, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Mitt needs a vacation with lots of fresh air. Elsewhere? Well, not so much.

aaarrrgh August 4, 2012 at 11:53 am

i been away. are truck nutz still in fashion?

anniegetyerfun August 4, 2012 at 12:13 pm

The other day, I saw this massive black truck driving down the freeway, with a set of black Trucknutz dangling from the trailer hitch. And I was all, "Damn, those are some big black balls." And then I realized that the license plate was from British Columbia, and my will to live simply left me.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 4, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Black ones might very well have been worn in an ironic manner.

HistoriCat August 4, 2012 at 11:21 pm

"There is no such thing as ironic Trucknutz!"
- K. Layne

FlyOverGirl August 4, 2012 at 12:21 pm

We had a truck with nutz in the parking lot at my office a few weeks ago. Nebraska, but we're still the lower 48. :)

DerrickWildcat August 4, 2012 at 12:48 pm

I saw one last month on a pickup in Lincoln.

Spurning Beer August 4, 2012 at 5:32 pm

I saw one on a Lincoln in Puyallup.

C_R_Eature August 4, 2012 at 12:53 pm

I saw a set of blue TruckNutz on a F-250 going over the Chesapeake Bay Bridge. First sighting in a long time. It's really hard to stay in lane and laugh at the same time.

JustPixelz August 4, 2012 at 11:53 am

I'm sure the RNC didn't bake that either. If the cake was made from uninspected ingredients (caveat emptor!) paid for by some billionaire's tax credit and baked by a pregnant, uninsured single woman making less than minimum wage … well, then I'd believe it was made by the Republicans. Because that's their recipe.

Buckminster August 4, 2012 at 1:08 pm

And, it was made overseas from overseas ingrediments.

starfanglednut August 5, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Oh, SNAP!

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 11:55 am

*steps into spotlight wearing sparkle gown*
*sings*
"Happy Birthday… Mis-ter… President…"

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 3:05 pm

(Applauds wildly, leers like a misogynist, falls over own feet, faceplants on the ground)

That was very nice.

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 6:24 pm

I'm counting on the big pile of fainted guys to make a high enough barrier to slow Michelle down so I can escape before she catches up to me.

Fetus, don't fail me now!
*runs away*

JohnnyBrooklyn August 4, 2012 at 11:55 am

No, no, no!!! Did no one notice there are no typos on this cake?????

All will soon be lost – they'll be adding and subtracting at a 3rd grade level pretty soon.

Guppy August 4, 2012 at 11:57 am

RNC sent you this delicious cake

That white stuff ain't icing.

But seriously, would you eat anything sent to you by people who are fervently trying to repeal food safety regulations and inspections? "Pasteurization kills jobs!"

Hell, they're probably a bunch of "germ theory skeptics" who don't believe in hand-washing.

Buckminster August 4, 2012 at 1:08 pm

That gastronomical distress you are feeling is due to liberal gall.

Charlie_Foxtrot August 4, 2012 at 2:00 pm

I'm totally stealing "germ theory skeptic."

Limeylizzie August 4, 2012 at 11:57 am
Steverino247 August 4, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Good thing nobody's at work today… Umm, I'll be right back!

soeoho August 4, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Can't we all j-j-just send a P-P-Pie to Mr Romney? Vertical plane, horizontal trajectory will suffice. No special occasion necessary.

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Send him the pumpkin pies, since we obviously can't use them on Boehner.

StealthMuslin August 4, 2012 at 12:07 pm

When will Mitt Romney reveal his birthday?!?

gullywompr August 4, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a MITT 9000. I became operational at the M.I.T.T. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you. It's called "Daisy."

Buckminster August 4, 2012 at 1:07 pm

I don't think crustaceans have birthdays, just crab boils. Oops.

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Like this, only not as cool?
http://www.comedycentral.com/video-clips/z8adqh/f

Serolf_Divad August 4, 2012 at 1:48 pm

He's already told you people all you need to know.

DonnyKerabotsos August 4, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Did they send a side of cheesy grits?

le_derppage August 4, 2012 at 1:08 pm

You didn't think the cake gesture was sufficiently cheesy?

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 1:46 pm

I'm amazed they didn't send a watermelon.

HistoriCat August 4, 2012 at 11:24 pm

They couldn't find a fried chicken place that would deliver.

gullywompr August 4, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Wait, so the RNC is now confirming that Obama was in fact born? Trump is going to be pissed.

FlyOverGirl August 4, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Too bad we've already passed the date of Mittbot's algorithm reformulization. Obama could send him a virus or something to celebrate the special day.

Boojum August 4, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Let them eat cake.

Perfect idea, Mittens. No downside.

bfddad August 4, 2012 at 12:23 pm

So let me ask a question, is this like a national holiday in Kenya or what? That is where he was born, right? I am so confused.

Steverino247 August 4, 2012 at 12:30 pm

OK, Republicans! Next stunt: Call the White House operator at (202) 456-1212 and ask if their refrigerator is running.

C_R_Eature August 4, 2012 at 1:01 pm

They'll drive past the front gate and Reince Priebus will Moon the White House.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 4, 2012 at 12:37 pm

The cake is a lie.

iburl August 4, 2012 at 12:42 pm

GOP is not any better at making cakes than they are at governance.

pinkocommi August 4, 2012 at 12:50 pm

It is fitting that the Rethuglican "Let them eat cake" party sent Obama a cake for his birthday. For Rmoney's birthday if I send anything at all it will be a bag of poo.

Now close your eyes Mr. President and when you blow out your candles, for the sake of the rest of us 99 percenters, make a wish that you win the election.

Fraudulently_Joe August 4, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Wrong, GOP! "You didn't bake this" is actually a quote from YOUR candidate!

anniegetyerfun August 4, 2012 at 1:42 pm

How did I not hear this the first time around? Thank you, Wonket, for reminding me why Romney is such a phenomenal douchenozzle.

Serolf_Divad August 4, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Good catch!

Mojopo August 4, 2012 at 12:54 pm

They should have studded it with 51 firecrackers and enjoyed themselves!

C_R_Eature August 4, 2012 at 12:56 pm

When Barry's people sent this back, did they say "Sorry, it's just not the right height"?

That's a piss-poor cake, by the way. With that avalanche of foreign gambling money they're getting, you think they could afford to spend more than, what $15?

Buckminster August 4, 2012 at 1:05 pm

I'd like to give Mittens a cake pan, a bowl, a mixer and a recipe and see him put together a cake.

No, really. I would. It would be like watching the best episode ever of any Lucy show ever made. Can't you imagine the hilarity that would ensue?

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 1:48 pm

The best part would be when he lost the election and stuck his head in the oven.

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 3:19 pm

And that's when I would turn it on.

LetUsBray August 4, 2012 at 2:07 pm

I'm pretty sure Willard taking a turn in the kitchen would end up like this:
http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/10/109337/1839

Butch_Wagstaff August 4, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Don't forget to tell him that if he hears very loud beeping, it's the kitchen timer which means the cake it done.

Buckminster August 4, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Seriously, Happy Birthday, Mr. President.

Callyson August 4, 2012 at 1:07 pm

No snark–happy birthday, Mr President. I'll be giving my gift belatedly, in November…

Also: at the end of his second term he will only be 55? He could easily work for 20 more years, if he wants to. I wonder what he'll do–a foundation, like Bill Clinton did? Go back to teaching? Write more books? All of the above?

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Take a year off from working to punch each and every Republican in Congress in the face — hard — and tell them to kiss his black ass.

Callyson August 4, 2012 at 2:03 pm

And we have a winner!

aaarrrgh August 4, 2012 at 5:21 pm

how about a new trophy wife, lots of drugs, and a plantation in kenya?

probably not, huh?

Spurning Beer August 4, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Road tour with Mean Al Green.

neiltheblaze August 4, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Aw! What a nice gesture. A disgusting supermarket cake with a Red Dye #2 frosting border!

They should have sent it back to them mangled with a a frosting pentagram surrounding it. That would freak their shit.

Joshua Norton August 4, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Have to give the wingnutz credit. Once they latch on to a stupid idea they shamelessly ride it into the ground, regardless of the consequences. Like that tire gauge stunt that got them absolutely nowhere.

I've yet to see any business man come forward and claim that "yes, I did build all the roads and bridges that bring people to my store. I do pay for the entire police force that protects it."

Instead they keep repeating a juvenile meme like a 6th grader with a fart joke.

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Or a wonketteer with a fart joke.
Or a dick joke.
Or a buttsechs joke…

Jukesgrrl August 4, 2012 at 10:57 pm

All of them, Katie.

Mojopo August 4, 2012 at 2:02 pm

It's true. I bet they spent more time on this asshole cake than anything of consequence to benefit the American people.

Jukesgrrl August 4, 2012 at 10:58 pm

For sure they spent more time on it than they did on their jobs plan.

Callyson August 4, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Once they latch on to a stupid idea they shamelessly ride it into the ground, regardless of the consequences.

War in Iraq

Tax cuts for the wealthy

Fighting the gheyz and the wommenz

Yeah, you've got a point there…

Left_Leftie August 4, 2012 at 3:56 pm

They SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT, like the Libs did with healthcare and the gay agenda.

Extemporanus August 4, 2012 at 1:17 pm

I call dibs on the mole!

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Which is actually a cleverly placed chocolate chip.

BaldarTFlagass August 4, 2012 at 1:19 pm

You should eat the cake, let it cycle, and send it back after you eliminate it.

SheriffRoscoe August 4, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Wouldn't eating the cake he didn't bake have made Obama's point? Don't ask me, I suck at metaphors.

Charlie_Foxtrot August 4, 2012 at 2:36 pm

That seems to be their strategy, doesn't it? Just like the Jack the Fabricator ad — "Well, hell yeah, I depend on government money, you think I'm an idiot??" — to showcase a small businessman who doesn't depend on government money.

They are deeply confused, and seem unable to stop themselves from reinforcing the President's point.

NellCote71 August 4, 2012 at 2:44 pm

I'm running for president, for Pete's sake.

littlebigdaddy August 4, 2012 at 1:25 pm

So it's a national holiday in Kenya?

AnAmericanInTO August 4, 2012 at 1:26 pm

For a second there I thought I was on Cake Wrecks!

SayItWithWookies August 4, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I hope the White House sent it back with a note saying "Please send us some pictures of you eating it — it would be a pleasure to see Republicans finishing something they started. For a change."

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 1:40 pm

All kidding aside, President Obama looks pretty damn good for a man in his 50s.
You think Mitt or Boner or McConnell or Newt looked that good in their 50s? In their 30s? Ever??

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 6:39 pm

HAHAHAHA. No.

anniegetyerfun August 4, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Did they send little cross-shaped birthday candles to light afire on top as well?

cat48 August 4, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Thank God the president didn't eat the cake. I'm sure it was poisoned if it came from the GOP. The GOP just can't seem to find the right gimmick to make real mercans vote Rombot/gop. I'll crawl over glass to show several ID's to vote against the goopers. Maybe others feel the same way, looking at the Twit's recent polls!

rickmaci August 4, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Cake looks half baked, like all Retardlican ideas.

Callyson August 4, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Also, regarding that R – word birthday cake from the Reeps…

Of course Obama did not bake that cake: who bakes his or her own birthday cake FFS? Yawn…

C_R_Eature August 4, 2012 at 2:11 pm

I think it would be a fine idea it Wonkette gave the RNC a cake of our own.

BTW: Happy Birthday, Mr President!

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 6:38 pm

The only cake I'd give those bastards is a urinal cake.

C_R_Eature August 4, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Agreed, though I'm totally on board with Cutting this cake.

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Am I the only person who got the significance of psychotic asshole Niedermeyer putting a live round in his gun to shoot Flounder, whose real name was KENT [as in Kent State] Dorfman? Two writers as brilliant as Doug Kenney and Chris Miller never would have missed that — especially not in that time frame — would they have?

Also, now I want a train whistle for my car.

C_R_Eature August 4, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Well now, I think you just might be one of the few. I never picked up on "Kent" , even though I saw this first -run in the theater and numerous times since. Dorfman was always "Flounder" to me, though.
I do think you're right about the Kent State Reference. It was pretty obvious what Neidermeyer was ("Fragged" by his own troops in 'Nam) and Kent State was still a raw nerve right then.

I had "Friends" that painted Deathmobile on the side of their huge '70 Chrysler, with the dents and busted rear leaf springs and bolted a fiberglass toad lawn ornament to the hood, but it wasn't the same.

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Nice.

An_Outhouse August 4, 2012 at 2:25 pm

You didn't born yerself, ya know!

Wait, what?

bikerlaureate August 4, 2012 at 2:27 pm

It was a Devil's Food cake, right?

President Obama eats their milk-cake.
Eats it up.

Steverino247 August 4, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Too bad Obama can't bowl, isn't it?

Steverino247 August 4, 2012 at 2:40 pm

They should have put 57 candles on it since they keep harping on the 57 states when he meant primaries.

LetUsBray August 4, 2012 at 3:35 pm

It's about what you'd expect from people who think a bus driving in circles honking its horn is a thrilling policy manifesto.

Left_Leftie August 4, 2012 at 3:54 pm

I DO NOT understand Republican humor. How is "You din't bake this" a burn to the President? He didn't bake it. Who bakes their own birthday cake anyway?

finallyhappy August 4, 2012 at 5:27 pm

sadly, I have ordered my own birthday cake for my family to eat- and then I just stopped. However, I may stop by the White House tomorrow and sing Happy Birthday with a cupcake and candle(outside the fence) as I have to be a block away from there tomorrow

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Blow the man a kiss for me!

Misty Malarky August 4, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Happy birthday to you
You belong in the zoo
You look like a monkey
And smell like one, too
-RNC 08/04/12

Butch_Wagstaff August 4, 2012 at 7:59 pm

Don't give the RNC any ideas for next year's cake.

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 6:38 pm

This does not fall into the category of "cakes we like".

fishwharf August 4, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Barack Obama was only a few hours old when Marilyn Monroe died. There's got to be a cosmic a connection in there somewhere.

BZ1 August 4, 2012 at 7:48 pm

I take it the RNC also didn't bake a store-bought cake.

TribecaMike August 4, 2012 at 9:23 pm

They haven't had a profitable one since the shortage of that death penalty drug.

tessiee August 4, 2012 at 8:44 pm

What, no love for the sparkly pink cake that Mindy Meyer baked for the Prez?

ttommyunger August 4, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Sigh! I feel so old. This is the third President in a row that is younger than me; in fact, I was jumping out of airplanes with the 101st at about the same time Barry was jumping out of the school bus to attend his Madrasah.

TribecaMike August 4, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Ridunculous, isn't it?

ttommyunger August 4, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Allah be Praised!Sent from my iPhone

TribecaMike August 4, 2012 at 9:58 pm

I was going to add "when does it ever end?" until I realized the obvious.

Sent from my Windows XP.

WABishop August 4, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Indeed.

Sent from beyond the grave.

Negropolis August 5, 2012 at 12:41 am

Well, on the other end of things, this president is old enough to be my father, when most of them have been old enough to be my grandfather, so that's a bit different.

ttommyunger August 5, 2012 at 5:49 am

One could do a lot worse for a father, I'm guessing, as well.Sent from my iPhone

Negropolis August 5, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Yeah, no kidding. I mean, could you imagine Dick Nixon being your dad? **shudders** That said, I can say without any kind of irony that my dad is far cooler than the president as great of a guy as the president is.

ttommyunger August 5, 2012 at 9:07 pm

You and I have a lot to be thankful for.

BarackMyWorld August 4, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Now that I expect my novelty cakes to use 1080p resolution, but the screen capture they used for the cake image looks like it came off a VHS tape recorded off a set of rabbit-ear antennae.

TribecaMike August 5, 2012 at 12:01 am

I don't know what's worse, Ted Turner's colorized version or Mitch McConnell's neutered version.

BarackMyWorld August 6, 2012 at 1:21 am

edit: Should say "Now I don't expect…"

Negropolis August 5, 2012 at 12:30 am

Beyonce popping out a cake singing "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" or GTFO.

DahBoner August 5, 2012 at 9:09 am

They are probably all feminists.

THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!

slowhansolo August 5, 2012 at 10:52 am

"The cake is a lie."

horsedreamer_1 August 5, 2012 at 4:04 pm

As with any cake, this is also one we like.

PuglyDoRight August 5, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Well, while RMoney was having his yuks, I brought an awesome cake to a canvass with 15 other people and we went out and knocked doors in Ohio and found supporters who were willing to volunteer, just like all over the country. So the RMoney campaign can just eat a big bag of rat dicks. Or, as we say in Ohio, a big bag of Josh Mandel.

Caelan Aegana August 6, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Happy Mr. President You Didn't Birthday Bake This?

I'm a little unclear about what they're trying to say here. Barack certainly looks happy in that picture, but no one to the best of my knowledge Birthday Bakes (unless you are very sad and lonely) and also too apparently the Happy Mr. President Birthday Baking helped some Safeway decorator/edible silkscreen maker keep their job.

We should just give up now, they've clearly won.

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 6:32 pm

You *know* what he's getting for his *next* birfday, right? I mean, you KNOW the Republicans are S-L-O-W.

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 9:57 pm

It appears to be fairly easy to contract, judging from the mass outbreak among the teabaggage over the past six years or so.

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 10:19 pm

What. A. Beast. (skritches the furry paunch)

Negropolis August 5, 2012 at 12:24 am

Why does Obama hate American-made birthday cakes? Henghh?

horsedreamer_1 August 5, 2012 at 2:12 pm

A true Stalinist Nazi Indonesian Madraassa schooled Mau-Mau would have a Stoli-infused Schwarzwaldekirschtorte with calabash peanut sauce.

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