there's no sex in the champagne room

Win The Strip Club: How Mitt Romney Got Jenna Jameson’s Endorsement

scoopsNews. What is it? No one knows. Total mystery. I’m a wire service reporter. I should have a good definition of it, but I do not. What will people click on and read and “like” on YouFace? That’s easy – celebrity nakedness, superficial political stories, unexpected quotes. And if you can combine all three, the interwebs will reward you. Which is exactly what happened when I asked Jenna Jameson about politics last night.

This happened because my friend, the SF blogger Beth Spotswood, asked me to escort her to a strip club where she was going to get to meet Jenna Jameson. It would be in the VIP room with an open bar. “Don’t make me go to the Gold Club alone,” she said. I obliged because, GENTLEMAN.

She told me we might get to talk to her, so I thought – What Would Politico Do? How do I WIN THE STRIP CLUB? I figured it was a long shot but if she said she’s supporting Mittens, we might have something.

And what do you know! I asked her about the presidential campaign and she said:

“I’m very looking forward to a Republican being back in office,” she said. “When you’re rich, you want a Republican in office.”

BALLER.

So Beth and I write a five line story on her iPhone and send it to a desker at CBS SF. And we call it a night.

Cut to this morning and the story is EVERYWHERE.

CBS, ABC News, HuffPo, Comedy Central, The Atlantic, Yahoo News, Washington Post, Gawker, New York Magazine, New York Daily News, the list goes on.

Is it news? I have my doubts. Did thousands of people “like” and “tweet” and “share their inane/misogynistic comments”? They did!

Even Politico, also too.

About the author

Wonkette Jr., everybody! Hooray!

View all articles by Wonkette Jr.

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Barb_

    That's nice that she supports the Republicans. She should, however, spend more time supporting those mismatched boobies of hers.

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      in all fairness, the republicans have been supporting her for most of her career

      • hippie13

        She does look like half the state of utah…blond leather too long in the sun.

    • SorosBot

      And that mismatched face – she's now a walking warning on the dangers of too much plastic surgery.

      • Butch_Wagstaff

        I heard Beverly Johnson (first African-American model to appear on the cover of American Vogue) say in a recent interview that cosmetic surgery doesn't make you look younger, it's a "trade off" that just makes you look different. She wasn't opposed to cosmetic surgery, though.
        But I thought it was probably the most accurate summation of what cosmetic surgery really does to one's looks. It just makes someone look different. You can have the lines smoothed out, makeup tatted on, etc. but it's not really going to make you look younger.
        And IMO, I think it sometimes makes people look worse (Jenna, for example) and can make someone look older than they are (Courtney Stodden).
        And, yes, I'm ashamed that I know who Courtney Stodden is.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Boobies!

      (sorta)

      • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledmeltdown

        Goobies.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Gooby-dooby-doo! (makes motorboating sound)

          [/slinks off in shame]

    • Terry

      Jaysus, she's got bolted on melons and crooked to boot. Honestly, why do men find stuff like that attractive?

      • Dudleydidwrong

        I don't. Striking, maybe. But not attractive. No way.

      • BoroPrimorac

        I think they're a complete turn off.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          I wasn't against them until I saw a porno with some artificially enhanced bouncy-bouncy action (in slo-mo, no less). Ugh. Talk about things you can't un-see. The creases and crevices revealed where flesh and plastic were just not in synch… truly bizarre.

      • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledmeltdown

        I'm sure those tits are insured so they don't go Full Homer. yeah, I made that up. you heard it here first.

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      They look like they rumble. Boobies should be seen and not heard.

    • johnnymeatworth

      Turns out Ron Jeremy's left-handed….

    • Tundra Grifter

      That is not a Ruddnick Rack.

    • hippie13

      I did notice a tilt to starboard (the right) ironically.

    • harry_palmer

      The off-kilter balloons are how she supports herself, obvs.

    • JustPixelz

      By her "mismatched boobies", I assume you're referring to her Repubican admiration for Michele Bachmann and Steve King.

  • rickmaci

    Tits Romney. Let's see him baptize those.

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      if they float- she's a WITCH!

      • Negropolis

        Comment of the Week.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Don't they have to be dead first?

      • rickmaci

        I believe they are.

        • le_derppage

          Silicone never dies!

          • zippy_w_pinhead

            and rust never sleeps…

          • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

            True, the chances of there being anything organic involved seems quite remote.

      • Biff

        No, I believe they're incorporated.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Isn't that the name of one of his children?

  • miss_grundy

    Oooooooo, the rich white hootchie wants a Repub in office. Perhaps someone should take a pin to the balloons she has on her chest. Comemierda!

  • Dr. Nick Riviera

    "When you're rich you want a Republican in office"

    Jenna Jameson: American's most honest Republican

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledmeltdown

      The sentiment echoes in her ass canyon.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      A bumper sticker you can believe in.

    • Negropolis

      What she said is such a breath of fresh air. It really is that shallow for most of the 1%.

  • spends2much

    I wonder how this endorsement will "go down" at Mittens' headquarters?

    That was too easy; I am ashamed of my lack of effort…

    • Terry

      Mitt will be compelled to do some one on one counseling.

      • Callyson

        In a quiet room somewhere.

    • tessiee

      If only this had happened a week earlier, Mitt could've entered her… in the Olympics.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Water polo. Those things'll float.

        • horsedreamer_1

          Ooh, water sports. I love to go in the water. But, I can't, because of my hip.

  • C_R_Eature

    I'm disappointed that there was no, shall we say, quid pro quo involved in this endorsement. I was looking forward to the leaked action photos.

    "These dildos are just the right height!"

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      I dunno, did anyone check with Rafalca?

      • C_R_Eature

        He did seem off his game. You know what they say about athletes and sex?

        • zippy_w_pinhead

          gives a whole new meaning to hoof and mouth disease…

        • Biff

          Except he is a she.

          • zippy_w_pinhead

            like that ever stopped Jenna…

          • Lascauxcaveman

            [/heads for teh googles]

          • C_R_Eature

            Even Better!

            brb

          • Veritas78

            Hubba hubba!

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Sex Star Supports Ken Doll:

    Film at 11.

  • MinAgain

    Way to keep abreast of breaking political news, Wonkette, Jr.

    • Biff

      Two breasts. Two.

    • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

      Be ashamed of yourself, MinAgain!

      Someone spank Min with a copy of The Collected Works of Jonathan Swift. Unabridged!

  • zippy_w_pinhead

    ladies and gentlemen, the next Mrs Gingrich

    • tessiee

      Jenna Jameson's net worth is 30 million dollars.
      Newt Gingrich's net worth is 7 million dollars.
      Maybe she can hire him to do her yardwork.

      • emmelemm

        She can buy her own whore diamonds at Tiffany's.

        Diamonds are a girl's best friend ♫

      • NellCote71

        How, she whimpered. How is her net worth $30 million?

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Some whores are *very* well paid. Look at Tom Delay; Jack Abramoff…

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Now you know where the money shot really gets deposited.

        • bobbert

          Investments in Bain Capital retroactive IRA?

    • arihaya

      Too tanned for Gingrich.

      On the other hand, she might be Romney's secret celestial wife.

    • not that Dewey

      Callista has cancer?

    • anniegetyerfun

      Nah, too much soul.

  • sewollef

    Oh my god…. what the fuck is that image of? Jesus, I'm just about to have dinner and that 'thing' has made me throw up a little in my mouth.

    Not good with a 2008 Napa Valley Marsanne.

    Thanks a bunch Wonkette!

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      you must be one of them thar elitists

    • BarackMyWorld

      A friend of mine who is a DJ at a bar in Baltimore posted a pic of him and her together on Facebook last weekend when she was doing a public appearance.
      She looks even worse now.

  • le_derppage

    Jenna who?

  • mookwrthwilson

    Makes sense. Both got rich fucking people.

    • rickmaci

      ^Win.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Yeah, but Jamesons not a true Republican, as I'm pretty sure she never fucked the poor.

      • emmelemm

        Never fucked anyone just out of the goodness of her heart, either. Always a business transaction.

        • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

          True. Republicans, on the other hand, like fucking the poor whether it makes money for them or not.

        • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

          Although, that raises the question: do you have a good heart?

      • mookwrthwilson

        Men in porn don't make that much

        • Lascauxcaveman

          I'm pretty sure some of them are moneymen to any given production.

        • anniegetyerfun

          Gay for pay = $$.

  • StealthMuslin

    Mittens has found his Palin!

  • Slim_Pickins

    Talk about liquid assets. Well gelatinous, any way.

    • sewollef

      ugly and gelatinous.

      Yeuk.

  • ChernobylSoup

    Plastic on metal.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Undressage horse.

    • rickmaci

      I believe that is spelled with a "w" before the "h".

    • RadioBowels

      She's sure had plenty of Horsey Sauce though.

  • emmelemm

    It's like a praying mantis with grapefruits glued on the front.

    • C_R_Eature

      Silicone Valley!

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      I"m sorry. There was something above the grapefruits?

      • emmelemm

        Really? I mean, REALLY? Those things are… well… wonky!

        They look sad and mismatched and stretched – look at the right (our right, her left) one! It looks like it might explode.

        • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

          Well, compared to most blow up dolls I've seen, she looks almost real.

        • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

          Those globes that are still somehow attached by the smallest, angriest stretch of skin to her chest are real attractive.

    • edgydrifter

      Seriously. It's like she took a screen shot from "Species" into her surgeon's office and said "That–make me THAT."

    • Negropolis

      ROTFLMAO!

  • sewollef

    Jesus, everything on this woman is pumped up, except her painful-looking collarbones.

  • Callyson

    Purely a business decision, I'm sure. Everyone knows Republicans spend more on sex workers than Democrats do.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Some years ago both the Republican and Democratic conventions were in San Francisco. '84, if memory serves (sometimes it double-faults).

      When the Democrats came to town so did the hookers. No surprise there.

      Then came the Republicans, and the hookers returned. So did the S&M and golden shower and other kinky boys from LA and Vegas and assorted Western states.

    • fitley

      Three times as much according to a strip club owner in Florida. Was just in the news the other day.

  • le_derppage

    Is this news or just sloppy seconds?

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    She named her fake rack "Rafalca".

    • rickmaci

      Rackfalca.

    • Angry_Marmot

      Watch 'em dance!

      • janicket

        Dance? Those bloated balloons of silicon? They're probably harder than a plutocrat's heart.

  • barto

    I think she's just fishing for the VP slot, the little tramp.

    • HistoriCat

      Probably better qualified than Sarah Palin.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        And more interesting than Condoleeza. (Although I still like her boots.)

        • HistoriCat

          Colonel Qaddafi? We thought you were dead!

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    "Oh, I thought you said corn subsidies."

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      It's those sillicorn injectables that have her hootering for Mittens.

      • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

        Corn star produces cornography.

        (Me so corny.)

        • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

          Ya got the tassels spinning both directions, you have.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Me shuck you long time!

  • C_R_Eature

    "HI, I'm Jenna Jameson. I've worked with giant robotic penises before and I know that they can really get the job done. That's why I'm endorsing Mitt Romney."

    • rickmaci

      "I'm Mitt Romney and I approve those mammaries."

      • C_R_Eature

        This post wins the Solid Gold Mammalian Protuberances Reference award.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          "Aaand here comes the icepick in the forehead!"

  • Limeylizzie

    Mitt changes positions as often as she does, so perfect match.

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      and at this point she looks like she was drawn with an Etch-A-Sketch, so there is that..

      • Limeylizzie

        Also could be Rafalca's mother.

        • janicket

          Naw, Rafalca's a lot better bred. Doubtless dances better, too.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Win to the third degree.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      And when we get to see Willard's tax returns we'll find that his 'Hard Work' treasure chest it as phony as hers.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      And she is just as convincing acting human as he is.

    • arihaya

      And both of them did it for the right price.

  • http://grandpaboy.blogspot.com/ seppdecker

    Those have to be the most ludicrous chest-mounted implants since Dick Cheney's heart.

  • Come here a minute

    OT — but I just want to say that I refuse to let Carville & Matalin spoil my enjoyment of Maker's.

    • Angry_Marmot

      Or Jenna to spoil my enjoyment of Jameson's.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I'm a bourbon guy, and I just don't get the big deal bout that stuff. It's not that different from the cheaper hootch I guzzle regularly. In fact, it seems pretty similar.

      OTOH, I can really taste the differences between the various single malt scotches (I'm a scotch guy, too – current fave Aardbeg, FWIW) but Makers Mark doesn't do that much for me.

  • Gleem McShineys

    You get a Republican in office, you get a Republican in orifice FOR FREE!

  • edgydrifter

    For a great number of reasons, I would not hit that.

    • Angry_Marmot

      I, too, find this surprisingly difficult to fap to.

    • tessiee

      There's not enough Viagra in the world. Hell, there's not enough *penicillin* in the world.

    • janicket

      Yeh, hit it the wrong way and one of those globes might shatter.

  • rickmaci

    Her next movie. "Inaugural Ball."

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      featuring the hanging Chad

    • Negropolis

      "Tea Pee Party"

  • SorosBot

    So who gets the all-important Ron Jeremy endorsement?

  • Goonemeritus

    Since puberty I have regularly been in the presence of breasts both clothed and not clothed, those breasts look odd to me.

    • rickmaci

      The impact of gravity on silicone.

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

      If not odd, at least uneven.

    • Angry_Marmot

      I'm sure I must've seen some before puberty, but the memory is a little vague and I'm not sure if I left a tip.

  • Goonemeritus

    Typical Republican, I’ve got mine time to pull up the ladder.

    • bobbert

      Well, at least that's consistent. It's the "I don't got shit, so I don't want anybody else (except the already-rich) to have shit" that drive me bonkers.

    • rickmaci

      I think she got rich for being good at getting things up, and going down.

    • tessiee

      "I’ve got mine time to pull up the ladder"

      Perfect.

  • imobannon

    Mitt Romney said, "I can see Jenna's clitoris from my backyard." Sarah Palin plans to file a suit for "theft of intellectual property."

    • Negropolis

      My god, they need to elect this man! Someone has finally found the elusive clitoris!

    • Biff

      I took a woman to see Ron White last night. Glad it was her idea, far be it from me to suggest spending 1 1/2 hours listening to a misogynist on stage, but the one tidbit of useful information he dispensed was that the human eyeball is just as sensitive as the clitoris. I parlayed that into a very interesting evening.

      Sorry, BeccaLou…

      • Negropolis

        Misogynist? Really? I've watched a few of his specials, and outside of being a bit blue in his language, I've found him to be refreshingly progressive. I've heard him criticize machismo in his act as much as anything else. Perhaps you meant a little sexist? Even then, I'm not sure. Dude is like the anti good, ole boy; I love how he uses his accent to trick people before surprising them with his beliefs.

        • Biff

          You are correct, as always, but you must begin to realize I usually don't know what I'm talking about, and defend my right to my own ignorance.

  • wvfii

    when you're a "three-input" gal, you really want a Republican in office

  • chascates

    How many Whore Zircons does she rate?

    • Fare la Volpe

      Made of REAL Hooker Diamondelle.

    • tessiee

      Those aren't zircons, they're stimulated diamonds.

  • MissTaken

    Ah hell, several of my coworkers went to this last night and have the hangovers and left behind credit cards to prove it. Although none of them were smart enough to ask her political opinions. Then again, I doubt any of them were able to say more than just 'uh, hey, baby'

    • bobbert

      You certainly seem to have a rowdy office there, what with cabanas in Vegas and Thursday nites at the Gold Club. Also, careless with their credit cards.

      Ah, youth.

  • coolhandnuke

    How romantic. She made a necklace out of Grover Norquist's nuts.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Chick Fil – DD

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Cocaine makes everyone an asshole.

  • http://www.wonkette.com John Birf Society

    Who put fake boobs on that catcher's Mitt? Or is Mitt more of a pitcher?

  • Misty Malarky

    Chick-Fil-A would make a killing if all their little chickies had dirty pillows like that.

    • tessiee

      Pity the customer who thinks his chicken sandwich contains a plump, succulent breast, only to discover it's a cheap, nasty piece of plastic.

      Then again, it's chik-fil-a, so fuck 'em.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    Jenna has a credit card reader installed between her breasts. Just swipe your card for another five minutes @ $49.99 per minute.

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      Oh, THAT'S what it's for (quickly grabs a paper towel and bottle of 409)

  • johnnymeatworth

    This is probably why Mitt won't release his tax returns–he doesn't want the world to know he secretly co-produced Zombie Strippers….

    • emmelemm

      That might almost make me want to vote for him.

      /NO NOT REALLY

    • Biff

      Figures that he lied about not liking zombies, too.

  • coolhandnuke

    Just another Rmoney shot in her illustrious career.

  • Guppy

    She didn't build that rack, somebody else did!

    • Tundra Grifter

      We can be quite sure God didn't give it to her.

    • Negropolis

      I spoke too soon, up thread. THIS is the comment of the week.

  • zippy_w_pinhead

    I'm pretty sure that Jenna is what you'd get if the Tin Man, the Scarecrow and the Cowardly Lion had a three way and produced a love child…

    • tessiee

      and the Cowardly Lion

      *Cowardly Lion voice*
      "Put-it-in! Put-it-in!"

  • BarackMyWorld

    Republicans blame Obama for everything, so she probably blames him for that busted plastic surgery someone did to her.

    • tessiee

      "that busted plastic surgery someone did to her"

      No kidding. Girlfriend is verging dangerously close to Joan Rivers territory.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Your move, Katie Morgan.

    • Angry_Marmot

      Seeing as she and Asia Carerra are supposed to be brainboxes, I'm gonna lose all hope if they side with the party of Rand and Palin.

      • HogeyeGrex

        We can probably count on Sasha Grey, though.

  • DalePues

    It's not like that where I live. I have to come here to see it and read about it. You have to admit it's fun to watch!

  • Rotundo_

    I thought Mittens already had the silicon life form vote locked up. Oh, silicone, I see, silicon versus silicone….

    • DahBoner

      I can see Silicone Valley from my house!

  • mosjef

    I'm sure Jenna's political influence is like her boobs: falsely inflated.

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      it's the new bubble economy…

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    Is this whole thing some kind of sleazy viral PETA ad with the sexy sex worker pros?

    Well, we all know what U.S. state's citizens give Jenna the most money, right?

    It's Mitt Romney's Vatican City, the Beehive State(?), the great state of… UTAH!

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    That's a picture of a Barbie doll, isn't it?

    • tessiee

      No, that's the Walmart knockoff. The real Barbie has a more lifelike facial expression.

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog

        Barbie has symmetrical boobs.

    • Negropolis

      Nah. A Barbie doll actually has better proportions, curiously enough.

    • BarackMyWorld

      I think the above pic was a couple of surgeries ago, because now she's gone full-Barbie in the face too.
      Compare.

      • Negropolis

        I don't know; I was getting more of a gorilla vibe from that picture. lol I have the strangest urge to communicate with her in ASL, now.

  • C_R_Eature

    What a ghastly picture. That body has seem more hard road than Patton's 3rd army.

    • Angry_Marmot

      And taken more shots to the face.

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      More like the Pyrenees after Hannibal got done with them…

      • Angry_Marmot

        She's "been to see the elephant".

        • zippy_w_pinhead

          she was making mountains out of molehills…

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      That body + Patton's Army + hard road.

      Argh. I know I can do this, but it's just not coming. [pours another shot]

      • C_R_Eature

        This one's difficult because usually it's a Navy joke. 7th Fleet, down at the pier, etc.

        Keep at it. I have faith in you.

      • C_R_Eature

        "Argh. I know I can do this, but it's just not coming."

        That's exactly what she said to Patton's Army, struggling with that body to keep them hard on the road

        …sorry…

  • Biff

    Looks like she bought those off the rack.

  • glamourdammerung

    But everyone knew the Republicans were the party for whores for a while now.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      yes, but most of them are rent boys.

  • zippy_w_pinhead

    and in the event of a water landing…

  • HarryButtle

    Doesn't that cunt* remember that it was the Republicans who tried to shut down her strip club in Arizona? Classic case of she got hers so fuck everybody else. Incidentally, I think she DID fuck everybody else.

    *I don't normally use this word, but in this case, it seems awfully appropriate.

  • Fare la Volpe

    Why is that Oompa Loompa corpse in a straw hat trying to smuggle bowling balls under its skin?

    They make bags for those things, y'know.

    • HogeyeGrex

      I think she is the bags for those things.

      Igor! Help me with the bags…

      • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

        Certainly. You get the blonde and I'll take the one in the turban.

    • Negropolis

      You know what? Your a good egg, volpe, a very good egg.

  • Veritas78

    She may be unaware of Rmoney's vow to stamp out pornography if elected (thus assuring him a one-year presidency).

    Or, she may be fully aware of it.

    • tessiee

      "She may be unaware of Rmoney's vow to stamp out pornography if elected"

      I'd be amazed if she had more than a year to go until retirement, anyway.

      • shelwood46

        I became aware today, due to the cavalcade of coverage on this "story", that she has moved from acting to production.

        • Mojopo

          What kind of empty shell goes from sex worker to "person who instructs others how to take a cum shot to the eyeball"?

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            A Republican?

    • Zango Crudmonger

      But with Prohibition, she may be looking to cash in on her wharehouses of pron, vast tracts of pron even, as the price skyrockets. Truly, she is Romneyesque.

      • Veritas78

        I'm taking no chances—stockin' up now.

        See, that's the difference between Rs and Ds. They stock up on guns, and we stock up on porn.

        • arihaya

          No no no… the difference is that Dems knew where to find free porn, while Repubs are stuck with pay porn.

    • Negropolis

      If she's aware of anything beyond her immediate surroundings I'd be shocked.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    That reminds me, I need to head down to Safeway and get some melons.

  • C_R_Eature

    So this is where the United States' Strategic Reserve of Silicone is kept.

    • arihaya

      Yes it is called Fort Knock.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Looks like she could use a boost in infrastructure spending, if you know what I mean.

  • tessiee

    I've had a quibble with Ms. Jameson ever since I read her book, "How to Make Love Like a Porn Star" in which she recommends looking into the, er-uh, blow-ee's eyes when you're giving head.

    Now, you know me, guys; I'm all about the self-improvement — however, even one moment of thought would make it clear that that's impossible unless the guy's boner points straight down like Gonzo's nose.

    But because I am a fair-minded person, I will set aside my disapproval of her misguided blowing advice, and my concern for those who may be led astray by it, and judge her latest statement solely by its content. “When you’re rich, you want a Republican in office” is hardly an endorsement of Republicans; it's just an accurate observation that Republicans and their policies favor the rich.

    • pattycake

      1. if he's laying down, it's really pretty easy to look into his eyes once in a while.

      2. when I first read about this, I thought that it might be possible that this endorsement, given its source and that "When you're rich" quote, is a sort of false-flag anti-endorsement.

      • aklibtard

        It's sort of disturbing that you're talking about giving blow jobs when your profile picture is a six year old girl.

        • pattycake

          I do that to help people try to remember that any woman that you are having it off with was once a six year old girl. Unless, of course, she's five, which is even more disturbing.

    • Geminisunmars

      Well, it was simply a typo that was made when she was dicktating her book. What she really said was "keep your eyes on his thighs."

      And I like your interpretation of her statement.

    • Negropolis

      Different curvess for different perves. Our penises are like special snowflakes, unique in their own ways.

    • Biff

      Mine generally roll back into my head. Maybe that's why it's called head…

  • Misty Malarky

    Boobies!

    • Angry_Marmot

      That reminds me, anybody see the remake of Total Recall yet?

  • tessiee

    Also, she's at least 20 years past the point where the cherry-themed jewelry has crossed over from cutesie to downright pitiful.

    • janicket

      Maybe she figures the jewelry's asymmetry balances out the boobies.

  • tessiee

    Vapid whore is vapid.

  • http://citizenfuturist.wordpress.com/ gogogodzilla

    Oddly enough, I find this post surprisingly difficult to masturbate to.

    • Zango Crudmonger

      Yes, it seems to be cunterituitive to me as well.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    I just want to take a moment to thank this Wonkette Jr. for breaking the story. Not since Riley and Breibart has there been such a scoop.

    • Veritas78

      Two scoops!

  • tessiee

    You know who ELSE had giant fake ta-tas?

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Marcus?

      Saw that you commented about being kinda puzzled about the drive-through CFO rant. I have no answers except that it does seem weird. And a CFO in Tucson is maybe not quite up to a CFO in NY or Chi or Tokyo…..

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      You'll have to be more specific.
      (I live in California.)

      • Biff

        So, definitely AOTK…

    • RadioBowels

      Eva Braun?

    • C_R_Eature

      The Statue of Liberty?

    • littlebigdaddy

      Eva Peron?

    • CapnFatowls

      Titler?

    • Negropolis

      Lisa Ann?

    • not that Dewey

      Woody Allen, in Everything you Wanted to Know about Sex?

      • C_R_Eature

        It's not over. They usually travel in pairs.

  • Barrelhse

    "Two pickets to Tittsburgh!"

    • C_R_Eature

      "I'd like the change in Nipples and dimes, please!"

  • Tundra Grifter

    Bain Capital invested in a company named Lifelike. Which is much more than one can honestly say about Jenna Jameson.

  • RadioBowels

    MONEY SHOT!!1!

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Doesn't she know that Republicans only watch gay porn?

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    This makes perfect sense.
    1. Christian assholes take over Republican party.
    2. Outlaw porn.
    3. Porn black market develops at 10x the price.
    4. PROFIT!

  • tessiee

    Incomprehensible Jon McNaughton painting of Jenna in
    5…
    4…
    3…

    • RadioBowels

      Tits and GTFO.

  • rocktonsam

    JJ's boobs and cunt and cocksucking mouth are people too my friends, also

    • RadioBowels

      And don"t forget the buttsechs!

      • rocktonsam

        the real money maker

  • MonkeyMotion

    You know, with the Ted Nugent and Jenna Jameson endorsements, Mittens has the racist dumbfuck wanker vote pretty much locked up.

    And it ain't even October.

  • Beowoof

    Jenna is pretty good at taking it in the ass, so Rmoney would be a good choice for her.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      "If you like taking it in the ass, you want a Republican in the White House."

  • arihaya

    Finally some boobz

    if it was left to Rebbecca, the will never be any boobz

  • not that Dewey

    You guys are all perverts. That's just her distended small intestine.

    • LetUsBray

      Now, THIS is the wonderfully sick, twisted shit that makes wonkette my fave-rave web site!

  • not that Dewey

    Dirk Diggler 2016!

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    If she's so rich why's she still working the strip clubs? Methinks the lady doth shake her twat too much.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    She's only been in 115 movies so she can't be all that great.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledmeltdown

    So great to see Arizona in the news again..

  • fartknocker

    Someone over-torqued her bolt-on tits.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Don't listen to her. It's the silicon talking.

    • Guppy

      No, she has silicone in her. Silicon is what's inside Mittens.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        But she's still in her element.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    “When you’re rich, you want a Republican in office.”
    Slut.

  • MonkeyMotion

    Jenna's just impressed that Mitt's sucked more dick than she has.

  • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

    One famous twat endorses another.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    That's a real treat — I mean, what more would a half-plastic money-loving cocksucker like than an endorsement from a porn star?

  • CountryClubJihadi

    I wish her luck with her Jizz-Fil-A franchise.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Maybe I am just a weenie, but that thing is scary and there is no way I would fuck it!

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    How does she walk? Or even sit up?

  • Mojopo

    God, this takes me right back to the halcyon days of Caesar haircuts and penciled-in brows, when "Steal My Sunshine" was playing on every brand new iPod Shuffle.

    • tessiee

      OMG!! I can't believe you said that! I had totally forgotten about "Steal my Sunshine" until today, when I heard it on the car radio for the first time in… oh, gotta be ten years at least.

      • Mojopo

        Best part of that song is the bridge dubbed from "More More More" by The Andrea True Connection. Andrea, the porn star turned one hit wonder.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Fuck. I had totally erased that song from my memory. THANkS A LOt!

    • horsedreamer_1

      Since the iPod debuted in Nov 2001, I have to admit — LEN had more staying power than I thought. Since "Steal My Sunshine" was the hot summer jam of 99. (I heard it first in April that year, on the soundtrack to pre-Cruise Katie Holmes action comedy GO.

  • sudsmckenzie

    Who is she?, oh never mind, I'll just Google it.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Do so at your own risk: no SafeSearch setting will save you.

      • sudsmckenzie

        You're right, that was terrible. Now I must find out who that Ron Jeremy fellow is.

        • Negropolis

          Abandon hope all ye who enter here. I beg of you to reconsider such recklessness. That which is seen can not be unseen.

  • Steverino247

    What was that about Bob Dole conceding the "Bunny vote" to Jimmy Carter after his interview in Playboy?

  • fitley

    She's built like a monster truck. All the parts are way way way too big for the frame.

  • fitley

    What's the difference between Mitt Romeny and Jenna Jameson? One is a whore for money and the other one has sex in videos for money.

  • Negropolis

    How do I WIN THE STRIP CLUB?

    Why, you make it rain, mais oui! Because, again, GENTLEMAN.

    BTW, I'm glad to know that our press is some kid on an iphone at a strip club; that makes me feel very safe with our democracy. lol

  • Negropolis

    I think we found out where Saddam hid those Weapons of Mass Distraction. My god, can you imagine how long it must take her to get beyond the TSA at the airport with all of those detection wands and aggressive pat-downs and….? I think I just thought up her next movie. Someone open a window; it just got hot in here.

  • bobbert

    Jesus. She was never exactly "cute", but all the bodmods have left her looking like a parody of Mme Tussaud's. OTOH, she's evidently achieved financial security, so best of British luck to her.

  • Paddy_McStagger

    Watch for her upcoming campaign commercial on redtube.com

  • Fukui-sanYesOta

    Well, Jenna always seemed to enjoy getting assfucked.

    OT Olympics moment. Sir Steve Redgrave on the rowing: "I've heard some of the crowd booing the Australians. We're British; we don't do that, we cheer for everyone. We do cheer for the British a bit more"

    And then Britain win in the rowing. Hurrah!

    edit: and great bronze for the USA team too

    • Negropolis

      I forgot which track event it was, but I heard them booing someone else, today.

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    Most honest political endorsement ever. Give the girl some credit.

  • C_R_Eature

    Hey, I have a question:

    If she flattens those things on a newspaper comic, will they pick up the image?

    • not that Dewey

      "Bounces, molds, stretches, snaps & more!"

      • C_R_Eature

        Silly, they're Putty in her hands.

  • Lazy Media

    Poor Jenna Jameson used to be super pretty, before she got insecure about aging and let the plastic surgeons at her.

    • Tundra Grifter

      I checked Google Images and she's been all over the place. Yes, it does look like at one time she was pretty. Then she got her first boob job, then she had some face work, then she had the boobs removed, then replaced…

      She's been under the knife more than a pullet at Chick-fil-A.

  • ttommyunger

    I don't get it, why the picture of Joan Rivers?

  • DahBoner

    286 COMMENTS 3645 VIEWS

    Knock, knock!!!

  • aaarrrgh

    mitt and jenna. both plastic. both a little off.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Her tits look like they want to GTFO.

  • neiltheblaze

    Jenna and Dirty Harry on the same day! Mittmentum!!1!

  • C_R_Eature

    That has to be the worst case of Mumps I've ever seen.

    • emmelemm

      That made me laugh.

      • C_R_Eature

        Good!

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Would it have killed you to embed a video, dear Wonkette?

  • Isyaignert

    Here's Andy Borowitz's take on this endorsement: http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzrep

  • http://www.marionstein.net Self-Uploader

    Is it Dia de los Muertos, already? That la Catrina sure has some big chi-chis.

  • Tundra Grifter

    She'd better be wearing some lead shoes. She goes outside, she's heading for the sky faster than the house in "Up."

  • carlgt1

    maybe the Repugs can have her & Meg McCain go on a "Fake & Naturals" tour?

  • NYNYNYjr

    She's rich, but she's nasty and gross. Is that mysogenistic?

  • thefrontpage

    With one small comment, Jenna Jameson just completely lost all of her attractiveness, sexiness, attraction, allure and interest. First, her statement about Romney and Republicans is just plain stupid–that's right, stupid. Second, she's wrong–that's right, factually wrong. Third, she doesn't even know that morons, idiots, pruds, prigs and psycho Puritans and religious nuts in the Republican party would love to shut down every strip club, outlaw porn, outlaw exotic and naked dancing, outlaw everything and anything having to do with strip clubs and porn? She doesn't know that? She should, because it's true. What a moron and what an idiot. Of course, she should be supporting Barack Obama–as anyone with any sense and intelligence should be. Jenna–wake up and smell the greasepaint!

  • Tricky_Dick

    I thought it was, when your a hoe you vote republican.