What's sad is that we've never gotten to use this non-ironically America is… back?? If the standard is that job creation barely surpassed population growth for the last month on record, four years into the great Economic Unpleasantness, then you betcha. We’re rich again! Money! Pie! War! The economy added a smashing 163,000 nonfarm payroll jobs in July, while June’s figure was revised down to a mere 64,000. (And keep in mind that this is all seasonally adjusted, so no one actually has any goddamn clue how many jobs were created at any point.) The unemployment rate itself ticked up to 8.3%, as people returned to (or exited? keep reading!) the labor force to not find jobs. As we’ve seen throughout the last year or two, a major lag on job figures (besides “no aggregate demand whatsoever”) comes from the public sector, where everyone has been fired several times. But hey, maybe that’s the best thing that ever happened to them?

The first place we looked for sound economic interpretation was the Washington Post‘s Right Turn blog, where each and every day Jennifer Rubin transcribes spin from the Mitt Romney presidential campaign. We don’t argue with the fact that, despite this decent month, the economy is still pretty much stalled, but Rubin takes this a step further and contradicts herself and looks funny, within the first paragraph:

The jobs numbers today, to no one’s surprise, were once again lousy. The unemployment rate is up to 8.3 percent. We did add 163,000 jobs, which is better than in the past few months, but the labor pool once again shrank, this time by 150,000 people. June’s jobs number was revised downward from 80,000 to 64,000. We are going in the wrong direction.

What is with that labor force number, though? This is something that’s really odd today: A bunch of news reports, not just hilarious Jen Rubin, have been saying that the unemployment rate ticked up in spite of 163,000 news jobs because so many people exited the labor force, which seems to be the opposite of math.

CNN MONEY offers what we assume is the right explanation, that economic data is bullshit so who knows?

The government’s monthly jobs report comes from two separate surveys: one that looks at employer payrolls, and the other which questions households. Those two reports went in opposite directions in July, confusing the overall reading on the job market.

“There are two sides of this report, and unfortunately both sides are not telling us the same thing,” said Ellen Zentner, senior U.S. economist for Nomura. “This is a report showing the economy expanded at a greater pace in July than in June, but households are still telling us they’re in pain.”

[WP, CNN Money]

Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • MissTaken

    Translation: "I worked a job paying a living wage with health and retirement benefits until I was fired. Now I'm working at WalMart making minimum wage supplemented with food stamps. I have a job now, but make WAAAYYY less than before, so I'm in pain"

    And buttsechs.

  • Beowoof

    Well someone is going to be pissed at the job creators for creating jobs, while the black guy is president.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I'm doing my share. At the little antique 17-room tourist hotel I run, I usually report 1 full time employee and 4 part time employees in the summer, when the Labor Department asks for my hiring figures.

      In the run-up to the election, I'm up to 14,367 employees and a payroll of over $530 million.

      You're welcome, Mr. Obama.

      • Monsieur_Grumpe

        So you're hiring? Where do I send resume? Mine will be the one with crisp $5 bill stapled to it. Wink wink.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          You're hired! Just send me your name, your soc sec number, and credit card number for the deposit on your employee uniform, and report to work, um …let's see, is November good for you?

      • Oblios_Cap

        You appear to qualify as an on-going concern. I'm sure you provide health acre to all 14,367 of those employees.

        • Boojum

          Health acre is what the GOP provides: A killing field.

          • horsedreamer_1

            Given the Party's reputation for sexual depravity (Newt/Calista, Karl/Jeff, Larry/Hot Cop), I think we should refer to our Republicans by a new name: Khmer Spooge.

      • Boojum

        What part of the country? You never know when a hobo's gonna need a place to flop…

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Here. One of the few places in the country that is getting cooler, wetter summers with global climate change. People from all over the USA tell us how much they like our cool, wet days.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Well, the only solution is to cut their taxes, so they can stop creating jobs.

  • metamarcisf

    It's time that James O'Keefe launched a transvaginal probe into this incoherent jobs mess.

  • freakishlywrong

    "When you look at this final agreement that we came to with the White House, I got 98 percent of what I wanted. I'm pretty happy"

    John. A(is for asshole) Boner.

  • coolhandnuke

    On the bright side, John Rocker who had been jobless for over ten years got hired writing words and thoughts for a living.

    • Beowoof

      Can his fans read?

      • coolhandnuke

        No he can't.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    We can afford to invade Iran, now?

    OK, then, how about Syria? Can we do Syria? Huh? Huh? Can we do Syria pretty please? Can we?

    • MonkeyMotion

      Really, how can we afford NOT to?
      Cuz, like, freedom's not free.
      Or terrorists will take over the world.
      And the Bible says so, and…goddammit where's my flag?

      • It would be irresponsible not to invade!

      • Since when has been able to afford it been a factor in this country starting a war?

    • And you can have a war and YOU can have a war and YOU can have a WAR and EVERYONE can have a war!

  • But the Preznit's a Nearer!!!!

    As for Jen Jen. I hate Rubins loaded with way too much Sauerkraut.

    • James Michael Curley

      I agree and his nudes were way too fat.

  • SorosBot

    Obviously this means we need to cut rich peoples' taxes!

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    I hear that Chick-Fillet is hiring. But you need to be straight, Christian, non-Muslum, conservative, and have the proper mix of anti-depressants to smile when Sarah Palin enters your restaurant.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      And don't be pregnant.

    • elviouslyqueer
    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Never been happier to not qualify.

  • veritass

    I don't know about you, but I'm starting to feel the trickle down.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Here, let me just give this a couple of shakes.

    • anniegetyerfun

      I thought I was, too, but it turned out to be incontinence.

    • Gleem McShineys

      Take some Immodium and eat a little less Chick-Fil-A today. You'll be fine.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Today, we are all Zac Efron in The Paperboy.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Nobody wants the shitty jobs that are being created?

  • OneYieldRegular

    This news is like throwing a wet, 100% Peruvian vicuña wool blanket over my thrilled-to-death high of yesterday. I hope it doesn't mean I'll get less of a tax break for flying my horse around the world to participate in dressage events.

    • jodyleek

      You have a flying horse? Cool.

      • Nothingisamiss

        Finally! Obama got me a pony! And it flies!

  • elviouslyqueer

    Numbers. How do they work?

    • eggsacklywright

      Like the tides, man, like the tides.

  • Clearly the adding lots of jobs part is due to the impending Romney election, while the uptick in unemployment is because of President Obama's job-killing tax hikes. I don't see why this economics stuff is so hard, sheesh.

  • neiltheblaze

    We want more PIE!!!!

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Sorry, you people will have to settle for cake.
      —Ann Romney

    • HistoriCat

      Make the pie higher!

      • horsedreamer_1

        As that noted sage Ted Nugent begged, "Can you take me higher?"

  • Geminisunmars

    In other news: "Corporations continue to make record profits, and yet refuse to bring in new workers, because."

    • Boojum

      Because near.

      • emmelemm


    • …shut up, that's why, hippie!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I'm sure that the economy is going to do a flat-out Starsky and Hutch Gran Torino 180 the minute Mitt is sworn in, at least in Ms Rubin's columns.

    • The economy will stay the same, but the media will do a 180.

  • SexySmurf

    I think the best explanation is that Obama created a bunch of jobs, but he's keeping them all for himself. And sometimes, at night, after Michelle falls asleep, he rolls around in them naked.

    • kittensdontlie

      What did you people do with the money your parents gave you to go to mathematics school?! Yea, I spent mine on beer too.

  • Baconzgood

    Sooooooooo, what? The jobs go up or down?

    I haz teh confuzez.

    • Geminisunmars

      I thought you were used to up and down jobs.

  • LastGasp

    Money! Pie! War!
    You've just come up with Mitten's campaign slogan.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    There's a firm in Tucson looking for a CFO.

  • metamarcisf

    I'm voting for Romney because he promises to create 500,000,000 jobs a day.

    • emmelemm

      It's like that Staples "Easy" button. Just keep pressing it. Bam, more jobs!

    • JadedDissonance

      Tired of jobs jobs jobs. I just want money.

      • widestanceromance

        Are you Toni Basil?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    In other financial news, the federal pay freeze may go for the hat trick, no raise for third year in a row.

    • Well, you simply have to run for Congress and get a retroactive raise.

  • Goonemeritus

    Or as my boss would put it, “ I guess you have a job for at least one more month you miserable bald bastard”.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Is that you, Willis? Get your ass back in that laundry room and fold those damn towels!

  • How many of these jerbs didn't require you to wear a paper hat?

    • bflrtsplk

      None of `em Katie.

    • The ones that required a hair net

  • BarackMyWorld

    Do public sector lay-offs have any effect on the unemployment rate because they're not real jobs?

    • ChuckieJesus

      i'm currently drawing ui, so i'd say… yyyyyes? maybe? i don't know. it's weird being counted as anything, even a statistic, sometimes.

      • BarackMyWorld

        I don't know if the final exam at the Speaker Boener School of Economics is multiple choice.

    • shelwood46

      The only real job is running a company, preferably while owning it. I have no idea why we count these other things, whatever they are, since they are imaginary. As we all know, the only reason people other than job creators do things in America is because Obama is holding their wife hostage.

  • C_R_Eature

    They don't call Economics "The Dismal Science" for nothin', you know.

    Cheer up. Have another Cephalopod. One a whole lot smarter than Jennifer Rubin.

    • Those critters are freaks — the bit around 1:22 especially.

      Oh, and here's something I ran across last night — crittercam video of a cormorant diving 150 feet to the ocean floor and catching a fish.

      • C_R_Eature

        Just when I think I've seen the weirdest animal out there, something like this comes along!

        Cormorant-Cam! That is cool. You should visit Wonkville these days if you like that sort of thing.

    • emmelemm

      Damn. That's the coolest thing I've seen this week.

      All hail our new Octopus overlords.

      • C_R_Eature

        I, for one, welcome our new Head Foot Overlords.

        • emmelemm

          Fine, head foot, foot head,whatever. I'm not bowing down to no cuttlefish, though.

          Did you see this one? Came up as a "related video". It's long and starts slow but is AMAZING with all the transformations and the swimming.

          Also, most of the time, the octopus looks like it's thinking, "Quit following me around, fucker!"

          • C_R_Eature

            Wow, Cool! That poor mimic was being harassed be everyone that day.

            If Cephalopods lived as long as us, they'd be the ones with the advanced civilization and likely to be chasing us around for a photo.

          • emmelemm

            Also, too, I just noticed? remembered? (my mornings tend to be groggy) that I'm wearing a T-shirt with an octopus on it today!


          • C_R_Eature

            Hey, just saw this. A fine example of Synchronicity!

            The Suckers must have been aligned today.

      • Wadisay

        This is somewhat reminiscent of my own work situation. How come the cormorant doesn't explode when he comes back up to the surface?

    • I've seen some of those behaviors in the Caribbean, but the scorpionfish imitation…WTF???

      • C_R_Eature

        That's one of the weirdest things I've ever seen them do.
        It looks a lot like the whole species evolved to mimic those specific organisms, because they all do it the same way, apparently. I think that's pretty cool.

  • Callyson

    The irony is the Republicans nominated the least dogmatic, most charitable and most straight-arrow guy in the primary. They picked the guy who has plans for rescuing FDR and LBJ’s entitlement programs from bankruptcy. And yes, the guy who devised a health plan for his state.

    Well, Jennifer, it's hard to be dogmatic when you're a flip flopper. Without his taxes, we have no idea how charitable Mittens is (or isn't.) Straight arrow? See "flip flopper" above.

    And his plans for rescuing FDR/LBJ's plans amount to "we have to destroy them to save them."

    Now would be a good time for the Republicans in Congress to quit obsessing over the womenz and the gheyz and get on with that laser like focus on jobs finally…


  • MissTaken

    The economy can't be bothered with making jobs, or not making jobs, when 'teen' bride Courtney Something is filming her reality show. Economy is all aflutter over this news!

    • SorosBot

      A 17-year-old married to a 52-year old? Ugh; that sounds horrific. Though still not as horrible as Bristol's Life's a Tripp or (shudder) Honey Boo Boo.

      • MissTaken

        She looks 52 so it's okay.

        • kittensdontlie

          It's a pity. Trying to keep our economy afloat, has really aged her.

        • widestanceromance

          I'm 52 and staggering toward 53, and if I went out with her, I'd be accused of being a cougar-lover.*

          *and she a fag hag, but whatevs, you get the picture.

    • Guppy

      The economy needs more HuffPo sideboob.

      • James Michael Curley
        • SorosBot

          "Problem loading page" helps out?

          • Guppy

            Remove the ".http" from the beginning of the URL

          • James Michael Curley

            Gotta get a bigger monitor. Some of those round things are too small.

          • Guppy

            Not in those pictures they ain't!

        • Guppy

          I'll be in my bunk.

  • lochnessmonster

    A factory in my town has a help wanted sign out for 4 positions…has been there a week.

    • Allmighty_Manos

      Yeah, but you live in Malaysia.

    • shelwood46

      It takes more than a week to go through 2000 job applications.

  • Not_So_Much

    Hobo beans and whore pills for everybody!

  • RadioBowels

    Take the heavy boot off of America's job creators and let them breath!

  • PuckStopsHere

    Can't count Obama as employed. I saw on the internet yesterday that (Christ!) he's never had a real job in his life.

  • eggsacklywright

    I could use a job. It has been a while. Something involving tugboats or blow-dryers?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Being an employee in the public sector,I am well aware the of the great divide between me, a sucker at the public teat, and great Galtian everybody else, who apparently are known as "The Taxpayers".

    I'm not really sure why they take taxes out of my wages, though.

  • rickmaci

    Ann Romoney wants to know why YOU people won't just accept YOUR serf status as Jeebuz intended.

  • zappadoo76

    I will resolve contradeections. Is two classes. Vorking class and capitalist class. Capitalist class doing fine. Vorking class, not so much.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I'm sure the Republicans will consider this to be bad news so they can revel in the continuing failure of America (Obama).

  • BarackMyWorld

    At this point in St. Ronnie's First Term of Extreme Awesomeness, the unemployment rate was 7.5%, and somehow he still won 3 months later by 20%. Draw your own conclusions.

    • bobbert

      I conclude that Reagan was white.

  • ph7

    households are still telling us they’re in pain.

    Pain builds character. Not everyone gets a trophy. Sometimes you have to pummel the weirdo in your boarding school.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Households are definitly getting a haircut.

  • The economy is flip-flopping in support of Mitt Romney.

    • anniegetyerfun

      I'm up! I'm down! I stand by whatever it was that I said!

  • James Michael Curley
    • now THAT'S some job creation

    • horsedreamer_1

      You mean 'D', though?

      — Steve "The Drop" Doocy

  • BeefHardcake

    What's with all these folks getting jobs and stuff? Don't they know they should be ENJOYING their funemployment? (And all the lack-of-ability-to-pay-your-bills that comes with it?)

  • SoBeach

    Two headlines I've seen today side by side:

    Romney Calls Jobs Report 'Hammer Blow'
    Stocks Soar on Jobs Report

    Either Mitt's wrong or millions of global investors are wrong. Doesn't matter. Mitt says he's going to personally create 12 million jobs in his first four years. How even his own supporters keep from laughing at him is beyond me. I mean, if you're going to say something that asinine why not go with 50 million jobs? A bazillion? Shoot the moon, Mitt.

    • JustPixelz

      Bill Clinton presided over a 20 million job expansion. Saint Reagan managed only 16 million (loser, idiot, failure). So, based on the facts as we know them, blow jobs create jobs.

    • TootsStansbury

      I thought I was hearing things when I heard the 12,000,000 jobs thing this morning! People believe this crap! And total energy independence in eight years. This Mitt person is as magical as his underpants!

      • SoBeach

        As Mitt's chances grow dimmer and dimmer the promises are guaranteed to get more and more outlandish.

        By Halloween he'll be promising 0% unemployment, 50% raises for everyone, no rain on weekends, and an end to the designated hitter rule — all in his first week in office.

  • I got a job last night, but fell asleep halfway through. It's getting hard out there.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Was it still hard after you fell asleep?

  • JustPixelz

    For a recession lasting more than four years, see Dr Keynes.

  • bureaucrap

    As the bumper sticker says, "If you think the system is working, ask someone who isn't."

    Also, "Visualize Whirled Peas."

  • But what about HOUSING STARTZ??!!1!

  • So the private sector IS doing well?

    • BarackMyWorld

      Anyone else notice how when the Republicans reacted to "the private sector is doing fine" they said "the economy is NOT doing fine," as if the two things were the same?

    • The private sector is doing GREAT! I haven't had a negative pay raise in two or three years.

  • chascates

    We might as well race as fast to the bottom as we can. The sooner everyone feels pain the sooner there might be a chance for a real change for equitable employment. Or not.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    What about other depression?

  • proudgrampa

    So, my unemployment stopped this week. I am not even a part of the 8.3%, anymore.

    My congratulations to the 160k+ who found jobs last week. Hope you enjoy flipping burgers.

    We are not only freakin' doomed, we are fucked.

  • PinkoPopulist

    Like everything that has to do with this economy, economic "statistics" are nothing more than a steaming pile of horse manure.

  • DahBoner


  • thefrontpage

    Here's some recent job postings, if you're looking:

    –Mindy Meyer: Web Site Designer

    –Rush Limbaugh: Fact Checker.

    –Ann Coulter: Fact Checker.

    –Fox News: Fact Checker.

    –Bill O'Reilly: Make-Up Attendant, Staff Psychologist, Fact Checker.

    –Chick-fil-A: Hatemongers.

    –Ted Nugent: Medication Wrangler, Fact Checker, Psychologist.

    –Chuck Norris: Medication Wrangler, Fact Checker, Psychologist.

    –Michelle Malkin: Fluffer.

    –Mitt Romney: Fact Checkers, Medication Wrangers, Staff Psychologists.

    # # #

  • thefrontpage

    Here's two more recent job postings:

    Smith Point: Snobs, Snots and Bluebloods.

    Late Night Shots: Designated Drivers, Staff Psychologists, Mental Health Counselers.

  • coolhandnuke

    I confuzed. Govt say many homes underwater. Govt also too say we have worst drought since history.

    • HistoriCat

      Somebody needs to fix the damn leak!

  • BZ1

    Note the real losses are in government cutbacks as private industry is gamely hiring a few poors.

  • Gleem McShineys

    "contradicts herself"

    This is a spokesperson for Romney? Not for long, if she continues to out-contradict her boss! He's the last word in walking back what words he said last, and that is final! Almost always!

  • ttommyunger

    FACT: wifey has been a full-time Realtor in Atlanta for 33 years. For the last month or so she and her two assistants have been working their asses off putting contracts together. I can't remember when she was so overworked as she is today. Why am I sharing this? I honestly believe the real estate market is coming around and that says good things about the prospects for our Economy in general; much to the dismay of the R's, if true.

Previous articleBreaking News: A Liberal Acted Like A Total Jerk
Next articleYou Will Never Guess CNN’s Double-Secret Source About Romney’s Taxes