ALSO SHE CALLS HIM A DICK  11:24 am August 2, 2012

Sarah Palin Is So Mad At Dick Cheney, You Guys

by Rebecca Schoenkopf


It is fair to say that Sarah Palin got her feewees just the littlest bit hurted by Dick Cheney’s declaration that, let’s see, what did he say … oh yes, she was a stupid moron who should have never been born, let alone attempted to fill his shoes in the highest and most powerful office in the land, the vice presidency. Or something close to that anyway. Anyway, the only person who could disagree with Cheney’s statement is Palin herself, considering it is a Science Fact.

But do watch and listen (yes, you have to take it off “mute”) to how actually upset Palin is here, her words coming in even sharper staccato machine gun bursts than usual as it seems like she is trying not to cry. And that first sentence, about Cheney never misfiring … first we had John McCain reminding the country that Dick Cheney loves to torture people. Is Sarah Palin reminding the country that Dick Cheney once shot an old man in the face? We are going to go with “fuck yeah!”

[Mediaite]

 

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{ 210 comments }

nounverb911 August 2, 2012 at 11:26 am

At least she didn't call him a war criminal, yet.

prommie August 2, 2012 at 11:38 am

Yeah, but McCain went out of his way to do just that, his response was "he and I have had our disagreements, I didn't think we should be torturing people, and he did."

freakishlywrong August 2, 2012 at 11:46 am

Continuing to pretend as though either of these assholes is relevant and constantly "interviewing" them as though they have anything to contribute is fucking torture.

An_Outhouse August 2, 2012 at 12:53 pm

she still has a contract at Faux so someone has to draw the short straw each week.

Biff August 2, 2012 at 1:14 pm

And every time she opens her yap, all of us lose.

Lascauxcaveman August 2, 2012 at 12:01 pm

At least she didn't call him a war criminal, yet.

She's still sore she never got her chance to be one herself. You just know she was slavering for some Ahmed-kebab.

Barb_ August 2, 2012 at 11:27 am

Thank God the only Palin anyone can vote for this season is on Dancing With the Stars.

nounverb911 August 2, 2012 at 11:33 am

How do we vote her off in the first round?

JadedDissonance August 2, 2012 at 11:35 am

It's a pretty banal show, or so I'm told. If we had an election around whoever can create the least interesting sentences, I think we know who would win (psst: it's queen of the run-on!).

OhDeerMee123 August 2, 2012 at 3:13 pm

There's a Palin on that show again? I can't stand the thought of watching it. You can't spell banal without "anal", and a Palin on that show will triple the scatology.

JadedDissonance August 2, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Let's hope they contain the hookworm outbreak this time. Difficult to dance in spandex with those suckers.

Baconzgood August 2, 2012 at 11:27 am

Sarah, I wouldn't get in fight with Dick. He goes for the eyes and groin first.

BaldarTFlagass August 2, 2012 at 11:31 am

You better stay away from him
He'll rip your lungs out, Jim!

actor212 August 2, 2012 at 11:33 am

LUCAN LIBEL!

tessiee August 2, 2012 at 12:26 pm

I'd like to meet his tailor.

GhostBuggy August 2, 2012 at 12:41 pm

I'd say his hair was perfect, if he had any.

prommie August 2, 2012 at 11:37 am

My Daddy actually truly taught me that, he said don't kick, knee, or punch people in the balls either, he said grab em, hard, and then put their eye out, or rip open their mouth or a nostril. Dad was a big proponent of mayhem.

rmjagg August 2, 2012 at 11:43 am

he sounds lovely …..

prommie August 2, 2012 at 11:45 am

It works.

cheetojeebus August 2, 2012 at 11:47 am

Daddies right. One of the most brutal descriptions of mayhem is in "Among theThugs" by Bill Buford. An account of a football hooligan sucking the eye out of a victim and biting it off truly horrifies.

prommie August 2, 2012 at 12:00 pm

He was also adamant about avoiding, never starting, and even running from, any fight. The mayhem was strictly for when forced. He said, people die accidentally in stupid bar fights all the time, so if someone forces you, disable them quick.

PhilippePetain August 2, 2012 at 1:07 pm

That book is pretty amazing.

PhilippePetain August 2, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Are you my brother?

ManchuCandidate August 2, 2012 at 11:27 am

People who are stupid and have really thin skin shouldn't live in a world full of misaimed buckshot.

tessiee August 2, 2012 at 12:27 pm

People who are stupid and have really thin skin shouldn't live.

One_who_wanders August 2, 2012 at 11:27 am

It is nice to see the GOP adopt that old Democratic standby; the Circular firing squad!

Larry McAwful August 2, 2012 at 11:41 am

We Democrats stole the GOP's subpar health care plan, so I'm pleased to see the GOP taking one of our crappy ideas for themselves, too.

CivicHoliday August 2, 2012 at 11:28 am

JELLO WRESTLING MATCH is scheduled for next weekend. Make sure to blind yourself well in advance.

Jus_Wonderin August 2, 2012 at 11:35 am

Ah, this works well. We have shish kabob on Sundays.

Mittens Howell, III August 2, 2012 at 11:49 am

Noooooooooooooooo!!

tessiee August 2, 2012 at 12:28 pm

It will be the most popular video on youtube the weekend after next.

tihond August 2, 2012 at 11:29 am

Who will win: Mama Grizzly vs. Voldemort?

boobookitteh August 2, 2012 at 11:29 am

So is this the actual moment that the Republic Party starts eating itself?

TheMightyHaltor August 2, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Yeah, but it'll take centuries to get through Chris Christie alone.

Texan_Bulldog August 2, 2012 at 11:29 am

Awww….someone got butthurt (and it wasn't even Todd's fault this time).

OhDeerMee123 August 2, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Evidently. And evidently.

actor212 August 2, 2012 at 11:30 am

Fuck, man, I'm running out of popcorn and the couch needs a good vacuuming. Can SOMEone put a stop to these Republican civil wars, at least for a moment?

paulabflat August 2, 2012 at 11:50 am

might i suggest a good rooting dog by your side on that there couch?

nothing gets by the one we have. hell. the other day she shat forest green. twice. the crayola wrapper came out almost good as new, too.

BaldarTFlagass August 2, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Best I ever saw was a friend's dog passing a shoestring he ate.

widestanceromance August 2, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Cat/tinsel after the holidays. Festive!

paulabflat August 2, 2012 at 12:24 pm

which should teach us all to keep the camera gassed up.

paulabflat August 2, 2012 at 2:18 pm

that's the spirit!

Chet Kincaid_ August 2, 2012 at 1:52 pm

I must have missed the explanation of that particular breed during the last Westminster show.

paulabflat August 2, 2012 at 2:17 pm

low to the ground, burrowing type, best exemplified by your basic dachshund, your jack russells. the kind that eats first and leaves you to ask the questions later, like "ethel? did you feed the dog what looks like it could be a manilla folder containing something that was probably top secret?"

the kind of dog that will proudly cough up a whole chipmunk. in front of guests. her contribution to the buffet.

if blind gluttony ain't a breed standard at westminster, it should be. some dogs shine at it.

actor212 August 2, 2012 at 3:45 pm

I used to live in an apartment which had a rodent difficulty (to be polite), and one day I was presented with half a mouse on my pillow.

But thanks for the offer.

JadedDissonance August 2, 2012 at 11:30 am

I have yet to hear of a dick that never misfires.

Fraudulently_Joe August 2, 2012 at 11:51 am

"It happens to all guys…"

OhDeerMee123 August 2, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Todd never misfires…….but sometimes he gives someone else a shot. Otherwise, how do you explain why Piper doesn't have his slack-jawed yokelness?

freakishlywrong August 2, 2012 at 11:30 am

It's like a horror movie. The movement Conservative: Teabilly vs WarCrimer

tessiee August 2, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Cheney [snarling]: That pisspot white trash cum dumpster is gonna be sorry she ever started with ME! I'll RUIN her stretchmarked ass!
*throws crumpled up paper into wastebasket*
*slams out of office*

Designer_Rants August 2, 2012 at 8:35 pm

I hate that he has a heart now and can actually storm out of a room. He should be confined to a Hoveround® Power Chair like his minions.

PuckStopsHere August 2, 2012 at 11:30 am

Fast Times at Wasilla High: "If you ask me, HE'S the one being immature."

JadedDissonance August 2, 2012 at 11:31 am

I LOVE My 86% approval rating up there in Alaska! And then I quit.

NorthStarSpanx August 3, 2012 at 3:11 pm

$740 million of State dollars going to every man, woman and child in Alaska in the form of an 'energy rebate' sure buys a lot of popularity, and the RNC's attention.

Lynne August 2, 2012 at 11:31 am

Did she get her panties in a twist? Knickers in a knot? Uh…ya think?

ManchuCandidate August 2, 2012 at 11:35 am

They aren't her panties, they're the RNC's.

Goonemeritus August 2, 2012 at 11:32 am

Anyone who could diagram that sentence deserves to be farting through silk.

cheetojeebus August 2, 2012 at 11:48 am

FTW

viennawoods13 August 2, 2012 at 11:32 am

I still think she's expecting to be magically handed the nomination.

Larry McAwful August 2, 2012 at 11:43 am

Seconded! Can we get a floor vote, please?!

Mittens Howell, III August 2, 2012 at 11:32 am

Poor diddums. Attacked by the Lamestream GOP that spawned her.

bikerlaureate August 2, 2012 at 12:18 pm

We should run ads with a few short, nutty quotes from her, and an ending tagline that says something like "the Republicans tried to put this person a heartbeat away from the Oval Office."

Baconzgood August 2, 2012 at 11:32 am

Butt hurt much Sarah?

GemlikeFlame August 2, 2012 at 5:33 pm

And for once, Uncle Dick was telling an objective truth.

BaldarTFlagass August 2, 2012 at 11:32 am

She really doesn't know who she's fucking with here, does she?

ManchuCandidate August 2, 2012 at 11:36 am

It's like you think she doesn't read newspapers, watch TV news or browse on the 'tubes about events or people unless it is about herself.

rmjagg August 2, 2012 at 11:47 am

she's like the girlfriend who gets ditched and threatens to tell the wife – she's in that kind of space …

prommie August 2, 2012 at 11:51 am

She seems not to have a realistic awareness of her own abilities. Kinda like one of those little pussy Yorkie dogs barking at a pit bull.

BaldarTFlagass August 2, 2012 at 11:58 am

My roommate's Jack Russell terrier had balls like bell clappers and got out of the yard and went across the street and fucked with the neighbor's big-ass hunting cur dogs. Notice I said "had."

bikerlaureate August 2, 2012 at 12:13 pm

What she's fucking with, to be precise.

Hammiepants August 2, 2012 at 11:33 am

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah – never get into a pissing match with a notorious skunk. Especially one that shoots acid from it's eyeballs.

Mittens Howell, III August 2, 2012 at 11:34 am

She wrote 'Fuck Dick' on her palm before the interview.

chicken_thief August 2, 2012 at 11:57 am

But when he wasn't available she fucked Glenn Rice instead.

CthuNHu August 2, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Oookay, let's try that again like you're not bringing a scrunchie to a gunfight.

"Your response to Dick Cheney?"

"Greta, I just don't think anyone cares what Dick Cheney thinks about anything."

There ya go.

tessiee August 2, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Although she *did* get it confused with her "Things to do Today" list that was written on the other palm.

iburl August 2, 2012 at 11:34 am

Douche provides dressing for her own word salad.

Not_So_Much August 2, 2012 at 11:34 am

Silly Snowbilly, tears just make him stronger.

eggsacklywright August 2, 2012 at 11:34 am

What a crouton.

SorosBot August 2, 2012 at 11:34 am

Turn off mute to hear Palin's voice? Sorry, but I'd rather stick a hole in my eardrum than hear that.

kittensdontlie August 2, 2012 at 12:03 pm

My video wouldn't play but I can imagine the conversation to be "squawk squawk squickity squawk…dumb dumb dummity dumb…diddily diddily diddily squat….(and the droning on continues after you fall asleep….

Charlie_Foxtrot August 2, 2012 at 2:07 pm

No way I would un-mute this. I watched some of it silent. The background was disorienting. I haven't seen anything like those wiggly red lines since I was in college. Where's the turkey grinder??

prommie August 2, 2012 at 11:34 am

Hey, look, its camel-face, reporting on what cunt-face has to say about fuckface.

ManchuCandidate August 2, 2012 at 11:38 am

You take that back. Camels are more attractive than Greta. Smell better, too.

prommie August 2, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Camels are also much more dignified, and they are too smart to fall for Scientology, too.

Biff August 2, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Also, such lovely toes.

rmjagg August 2, 2012 at 11:50 am

camel face is a high ranking scientologist , worthy of respect … ahahahahahaha … ( really , she is …. )

PhilippePetain August 2, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Oooooh…. man, what if she was able to get Lou Sarah involved. THAT would be a fitting end.

HistoriCat August 2, 2012 at 2:01 pm

When money-sucking schemes collide!

Nibbler of Niblonia August 2, 2012 at 11:35 am

I wanna fill that neck-dimple between her collarbones with a healthy load of my dick cheney misfire

Allmighty_Manos August 2, 2012 at 11:36 am

Seriously, at what point does she go away. Does she even have a job?

Tundra Grifter August 2, 2012 at 11:47 am

The FoxPAC is the only "news" network that interviews its own employees and fails to disclose that.

I missed the part where Greta pointed out her husband used to work for Duh Gov'.

freakishlywrong August 2, 2012 at 11:50 am

No, but Greta and Sean do, and until they go, she has a platform to just mean-girl snipe away.

Chet Kincaid_ August 2, 2012 at 1:57 pm

You're lookin' at it.

Mittens Howell, III August 2, 2012 at 11:36 am

Has Dick-fil-A appreciation day been called off then?

NellCote71 August 2, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Yeah, it's been called off. It was the same day as his daughter's wedding.

Estproph August 2, 2012 at 11:38 am

The enemy of my enemy is apparently still my enemy.

tessiee August 2, 2012 at 12:35 pm

I obscenity in the obscenity of your obscenity.

DerrickWildcat August 2, 2012 at 11:38 am

China is gonna land a Man on the Moon? That's pretty cool.

JustPixelz August 2, 2012 at 11:38 am

All that waterboarding and now we learn the real torture is have Cheney call you a mistake. But let's be sure. I'll call Sarah Palin™ a mistake 180 times to see if she cracks.

(shouts the magic words)

Did it work? No? I'll keep trying, for as long as it takes.

BaldarTFlagass August 2, 2012 at 11:40 am

She's really not worth that much effort.

JustPixelz August 2, 2012 at 12:13 pm

I only put as much effort into it as she put into anything she's ever done.

tessiee August 2, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Be careful not to look in a mirror, or you might summon her, like Beetlejuice.

NorthStarSpanx August 3, 2012 at 3:15 pm

I think you mean Candyman (1992)

timbo71351 August 2, 2012 at 11:40 am

Annoying dumb thin-skinned woman is an annoying dumb thin-skinned woman. The only good thing that would come out of Mittens being elected president is that Fox News wouldn't renew her contract and she might have to get a real job.

BaldarTFlagass August 2, 2012 at 11:47 am

Maybe she could go on unemployment, or get some kind of Social Security disability stipend.

chicken_thief August 2, 2012 at 12:01 pm

What's the retirement benefits for Alaska governors who quit?

tessiee August 2, 2012 at 12:37 pm

More in one year than I've made in the last five years, I'm certain of that.
Also, now I haz a sad.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 2, 2012 at 11:40 am

She's upset because in Alaska, she has to hunt lawyers from a helicopter. It's those darned socialist regulations, taking away her freedumbs again.

DerrickWildcat August 2, 2012 at 11:41 am

That Palin is like the Female Anne Coulter.

Tundra Grifter August 2, 2012 at 11:48 am

That's a cold shot right there!

freakishlywrong August 2, 2012 at 11:43 am

They're never going away, are they?

WhatTheHeck August 2, 2012 at 11:58 am

Like herpes.

tessiee August 2, 2012 at 12:38 pm

"You have that shit forever. it's like luggage." — Eddie Murphy

elviouslyqueer August 2, 2012 at 11:43 am

Thunderdome with chainsaws or GTFO.

MumbletyAvian August 2, 2012 at 11:44 am

Unable to watch. Shrill harpy ups the shrill factor. If anyone can put an arctic freeze over the national populace in fuckin' August, its her White Witch caricature. All the icy posturing and none of the Turkish delight. Cheney'd get turned to stone with one withering glance if she had even that shred of remaining credibility that didn't get mired in her instability.

freakishlywrong August 2, 2012 at 11:54 am

Jesus, me neither, Mumblety, I can't stand hearing Sir Laffs Gaffs Alot anymore either. It's going to be an excruciating three months.

MumbletyAvian August 2, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Oh I meant I can't work youtubez from teh workplace — but indeed, otherwise maybe I'd have watched. On a dare.

qwerty42 August 2, 2012 at 11:46 am

I tend to forget her stream-consciousness, word salad commentary. But she did seem irritated.

NorthStarSpanx August 3, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Evidently, she also too got stuck on the word of the day too, that Bristol's PR Group BSMP, LLC must have Google'd.

Larry McAwful August 2, 2012 at 11:46 am

Seriously, I think something's changed with Sarah. I can't tell what it is, though. She looks kinda stoned in this video, and she definitely looks trashier. How does she do it?

rickmaci August 2, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Bad wig, shitty make up, Wal-Mart wardrobe. She's reverted to her snowbilly true self.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 2, 2012 at 6:01 pm

I guess Fucks Gnus (hey, it's bestiality day!) doesn't have the wardrobe and makeup budget that the GOP had. It takes a lot of dough to make a MILF out trailer trash.

Antispandex August 2, 2012 at 11:47 am

I saw "Sarah Palin" and "Dick" in the header, (I never notice when it says Cheney for some reason), and I just had to check out the story, but I just don't know if I have the courage to press the button and listen to the shrill momma moose whine about…well, anything. What to do, what to do?

Billmatic August 2, 2012 at 11:47 am

Sounds hot.

ElPinche August 2, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Trashy slutty shrilly GILFs are nice but they're nicer with man-burritos in their mouths.

Billmatic August 2, 2012 at 12:14 pm

At this point, I'd make out with an orangutan if it was willing.

HistoriCat August 2, 2012 at 2:05 pm

If you can afford some Skittles, I might know of a willing walrus.

Mahousu August 2, 2012 at 11:49 am

It's a close call, but perhaps we would have been better off if Palin had been VP under Bush instead of Cheney. Yes, the country still would have done random, stupid, counterproductive things, but it would have been less competent at it.

Admittedly, this is one of those "would you rather freeze to death or burn to death" questions.

pdiddycornchips August 2, 2012 at 11:57 am

Is it even possible to be less competent?

Wadisay August 2, 2012 at 11:50 am

I take it the Word of the Day on Palin's improve-your-vocabulary desk calendar was "that".

NorthStarSpanx August 3, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Something had to move her from "there."

Mittens Howell, III August 2, 2012 at 11:52 am

Handy tip for watching Sarah Palin videos: stop when you feel a part of your soul being sucked through the screen.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 2, 2012 at 5:56 pm

That feeling? It's actually your lunch being sent back up your throat.
I made it to 42 seconds.

Geminisunmars August 2, 2012 at 11:53 am

Sarah is a self-avowed ball.

IncenseDebate August 2, 2012 at 11:53 am

No powers of the undead for you now Sarah!

Fraudulently_Joe August 2, 2012 at 11:53 am

Say what you will about Dick Cheney, but at least he served out his entire term in office.

So Sarah Palin wins that round.

RadioBowels August 2, 2012 at 11:54 am

Hmm, It's hard to think of a potential VPOTUS who would be worse than Darth Cheney innit?

Hunkered Down in Brooklyn August 2, 2012 at 11:55 am

Evidently.

WhatTheHeck August 2, 2012 at 11:55 am

Fun with Dick and Lou Sarah.

BaldarTFlagass August 2, 2012 at 11:56 am

As much as I hate Dick Cheney (with votes), I really love that he pissed in her cornflakes.

ElPinche August 2, 2012 at 11:56 am

Play the theme song to the movie Halloween ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3om1qTBihVI ) while watching this Palin video. It's hilarious in a horrible horrible way.

BTW: Gotta love Greta's little "Cheney hates women" stab at the end.

Limeylizzie August 2, 2012 at 11:57 am

Alaskunt seems to think that if you become a complete physical caricature of yourself that that is going to make you prettier, sexier, more appealing, so she now has massive and hideous hair extensions and much too much make-up on. That would be like me stuffing my bra and talking like Dick Van Dyke in "Mary Poppins".

prommie August 2, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Lewis Black made a funny last week during one of his rants, about how its so unnecessary for Katie Perry to put fireworks on her tits, because WE ARE ALREADY LOOKING.

tessiee August 2, 2012 at 1:01 pm

"Alaskunt seems to think that if you become a complete physical caricature of yourself that that is going to make you prettier, sexier, more appealing, so she now has massive and hideous hair extensions and much too much make-up on."

I'm unfamiliar with whatever species she belongs to, so I'm not sure whether that's a mating display or intended to scare away predators.

carlgt1 August 2, 2012 at 11:59 am

Cheney is a top dick of the world – but at least he knows what a Vice President does (and then some…)

Biff August 2, 2012 at 1:33 pm

I'm not sure. Every #2 job I've ever had, my directive was to make #1 look good.

Dudleydidwrong August 2, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Listening to Snowbilly is still like fingernails on a chalk board. The problem is that the chalk board has a more rational response to what is going on around it. Could we combine the two ideas in the video and send Palin to the Moon?

prommie August 2, 2012 at 12:04 pm

You know there is a coldness in the air, a chill. You can actually feel the evil as the crypts clank open and Cheney's army of the undead emerge to wreak his revenge on her.

tessiee August 2, 2012 at 1:02 pm

The sun turning dark and the skies raining blood was a good clue, too.

NellCote71 August 2, 2012 at 1:07 pm

And what rough beast, its hour come round at last . . .

James Michael Curley August 2, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Slouches toward Bethlehem to bring scorn.

chicken_thief August 2, 2012 at 12:07 pm

You expect me to watch 3:39 of Lou Sarah?! GTFO!

prommie August 2, 2012 at 12:09 pm

You know I just realized this, I get more fruede from Sarah Palin's schaden, than from anyone else's.

prommie August 2, 2012 at 12:10 pm

You know, I start too many posts with "you know," you know? Remember the time we couldn't remember remembering? 'Member?

DahBoner August 2, 2012 at 1:07 pm

You and me sitting around talking about Madonna. 'Member?

–FIREHOSE

ElPinche August 2, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Palin's run-on sentence structure is like Inception. It's a clause within a clause wrapped by another clause, and all those clauses are wrapped by outer-shell clause. She never ever closes the original point of a sentence. I'm trapped inside one her run-on sentences right now.

prommie August 3, 2012 at 8:37 am

I do that too, but, well, I use appropriate connectors so the whole thing makes sense and I do get to the point somewhere along the way, even if the wait can be longer than is probably worth it to most people, who are busier than ever these days as a result of economic conditions and the labor market giving employers the upper hand so people feel they have to work longer and longer hours just to keep their heads above water.

ColHeightsChic August 2, 2012 at 12:18 pm

My brain is going to explode from listening to that tirade. Have I really forgotten how overwhelmingly confusing and tiring it can be to try to make sense of the random string of words that come spewing out of that woman's mouth? I did love, however, the random "Dick Cheney hates women" assertion by Greta. I guess I must hate women too. Shit, I guess I must hate myself then.
Great, now i hate myself, and I haven't even had lunch yet.

thewarmingsun August 2, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Evidently, "evidently" is her new favorite word.

not that Dewey August 2, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Evidently. And Dick Cheney has been brainwashed by the Daily Kos/Media Matters/George Soros LSM, evidently.

James Michael Curley August 2, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Sarah sounds better and is more coherent with mute ON and turned up to 11.

prommie August 3, 2012 at 8:38 am

Its one more than 10, innit?

James Michael Curley August 3, 2012 at 12:12 pm

You know that her voice was the inspiration for “Mars Attacks.”

tessiee August 2, 2012 at 12:25 pm

"Is Sarah Palin reminding the country that Dick Cheney once shot an old man in the face? We are going to go with “fuck yeah!”"

And the inevitable follow up question: Can we somehow get Dick Cheney to shoot Sarah Pa…
[giant hook comes out of wings and yanks comment offstage]

Lazy Media August 2, 2012 at 12:27 pm

If being governor was so luxurious and awesome, why did she quit, again?

An_Outhouse August 2, 2012 at 1:57 pm

The country needed her – to arrive on a bus and sell a book – then fly to the next city and wait for the bus to arrive and do it again. Griftin' is hard work.

NorthStarSpanx August 3, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Evidently, there's also no glory in perhaps engaging your servant's heart as she's so blessed to representing the United States without the shackles of a title there.

rockyoumonkeys August 2, 2012 at 12:30 pm

I never actually watched Greta talk for any real length of time so I only just now noticed….when did she have a stroke?

Nostrildamus August 2, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Lock Palin, Cheney, Walnuts and W in a house with a case of mackerel and a half-a-roll of toilet paper. Release a quart of lice and a couple dozen tarantulas.
REALITY RATINGS GOLD !!!

tessiee August 2, 2012 at 1:04 pm

It's also the only way Sarah's ass has even a chance of equaling all the shit that comes out of her mouth.

BarackMyWorld August 2, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Logically speaking, you would think someone who has actually been VP would have a better grasp on what qualifies you for the job than someone who had to have the basic job responsibilities of the office explained to her after screwing it up when talking to school children, and maybe Palin should have just said "The former Vice President is entitled to his opinion, but I would not have accepted the nomination if I agreed with his view."

NorthStarSpanx August 3, 2012 at 3:41 pm

But "misfire" wouldn't make sense in that response, cause she was hell bent on making sure to put in that dig.

elviouslyqueer August 2, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Oh bless her heart, but Sarah's hair looks like it hasn't been touched by a gay man in a very, very, very long time.

NellCote71 August 2, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Do you really think any gay men are allowed to live in Wasilla?

paulabflat August 2, 2012 at 1:15 pm

now there aren't any poles anywhere near long enough and if there were, i doubt any of the gay mens would do her hair with it.

as if.

barto August 2, 2012 at 12:50 pm

I think she put him up to it just to get her stupid face back in the news (and she does appear exceptionally stupid, even for her, in this clip). She had to have rehearsed her response, not quite rambly jambly enough to be her usual schtick.

An_Outhouse August 2, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Angry screechy cunt is angry.

tessiee August 2, 2012 at 1:05 pm

And stupid.

owhatever August 2, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Sarah, please do what you do best. Quit and go away. But stop coming back. It's Willow's turn.

dcjdjay August 2, 2012 at 12:57 pm

The a-hole farts and the C-you-next-Tuesday queefs in response.

Stinks up the immediate surroundings, but the rest of the world really doesn't give a damn.

tessiee August 2, 2012 at 1:00 pm

At last, the great, world-ending Republican battle we've all been waiting for since 1980 or so:
*drumroll*
STUPID VS. EVIL!!!
I'm going to call it:
Krapperdammerung.

paulabflat August 2, 2012 at 1:17 pm

where's zappa when we need him?

for the soundtrack.

DahBoner August 2, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Now she's trying to put lipstick on a pig…

PhilippePetain August 2, 2012 at 1:04 pm

"Movin' and Shakin' and Watchin'!"

FUCK I HATE THIS WOMAN.

Isyaignert August 2, 2012 at 1:07 pm

The ONLY reason $arah Palin had any approval ratings in Alaska at the time of her selection as VP is because everyone had just gotten their socialist gummint checks for their share of the Alaskan oil, not because she's a Dudly Do-right fighting against corruption (ha!) – she's a twit and a twat.

widestanceromance August 2, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Hate to say it, but I thank Cheney for twisting her up good.

Curiously, his daughter, the one who can speak, extolled Palin just days ago.

thefrontpage August 2, 2012 at 1:26 pm

August 2, 2012

Sarah:

Please come home. All is forgiven.

Love,

Ellen, Rosie, Rachel, Anne, Meredith, and Margaret.

rickmaci August 2, 2012 at 1:31 pm

I WOULD NOT hit it. And that is saying something.

Biff August 2, 2012 at 1:38 pm

That cunt.

MiniMencken August 2, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Genius! Mooselini begins the response by opining that Cheney was only responding to descriptions of her in the "lamestream media" and doesn't really know the actual Wasilla Wunderkind. If only the lawyers for the Nazi officials at Nuremburg had thought of this argument, every one of their clients would have gotten off scot free.

NorthStarSpanx August 3, 2012 at 3:43 pm

If only she and Bristol and Todd had an outlet to counter all this lamestream make-stuff-up-istan crap to set the record straight all these years later. . .

meatlofer August 2, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Someday he'll get her heart,back!

Chet Kincaid_ August 2, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Jesus, all Greta needs is a pipe, and she's Popeye.

YouBetcha August 2, 2012 at 2:06 pm

The shrill whine the tortured syntax, the bad wig. Am I the only one turned on right now?

ttommyunger August 2, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Youbetcha!

wakamesalad August 2, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Um, what?

chascates August 2, 2012 at 3:16 pm

The newest Palin reality show: PAYBACK ARM WRASSLIN'!, in which an aggrieved Palin gets to arm wrestle their accusor BUT in fact using the combined arm power of the entire clan by a method yet to be determined.

AutomaticPilot August 2, 2012 at 3:58 pm

If for some reason you didn't get the video to play, here is a full transcript:
“I personally believe, that U.S. Americans, are unable to do so, because uh, some, people out there, in our nation don’t have maps. and uh…I believe that our education like such as in South Africa, and the Iraq, everywhere like such as…and, I believe they should uh, our education over here, in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa, and should help the Iraq and Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.”

ttommyunger August 2, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Them Palin girls sure get worked up talking about dick, don't they?

Huitzlapochtli August 2, 2012 at 5:57 pm
not that Dewey August 2, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Say again?

Huitzlapochtli August 3, 2012 at 12:40 am
not that Dewey August 3, 2012 at 12:50 am

So, you're saying that Benazir Bhutto is still dead?

Huitzlapochtli August 3, 2012 at 1:01 am
rocktonsam August 2, 2012 at 6:38 pm

that hair dooooooo makes $arah look like Cousin It. just saying

deanbooth August 2, 2012 at 7:13 pm

That Greta lady's mouth is upside down.

not that Dewey August 3, 2012 at 1:33 am

Fair? Who's the fuckin nihilist around here? Buncha fuckin crybabies.

Huitzlapochtli August 3, 2012 at 1:44 am

Too soon!!

paulabflat August 4, 2012 at 2:01 pm

hey! i hope it was the good half.

well. if you ever change your mind….

not that Dewey August 5, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Not soon enough.

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