THURSDAY PUERTO RICO ROUNDUP  12:00 pm August 2, 2012

Powerful Gov’t Twitter Monster In Puerto Rico Always Shouting Racist Nonsense at Obama

by Jim Newell

Don't read the post, we just wanted to show shirtless rick santorum againIt’s time for your Thursday Puerto Rico Roundup! What’s going on in that little island that we own or whatever this week? Well, they’ve got a racist Twitter lady type situation going down. Watch out! And how about that, she’s in politics. Steel yourselves: “An adviser to Puerto Rico’s most powerful female lawmaker faced calls to resign on Wednesday after she sent a tweet to President Barack Obama urging him to buy the first lady a double-banana sundae and take her to Kenya.” What’s the problem? That sounds like a great anniversary trip itinerary.

Wait, she suggested a sundae from Burger King? Oh dear, perhaps she was addressing the President in bad faith:

Heidi Wys sent the tweet last week shortly after Obama tweeted that Michelle Obama’s birthday was coming up.

“Who cares?” Wys wrote in response. “Take her to Burger King, buy her a sundae with double banana, take her to your homeland, Kenya!”

Apparently she just tweets racist nonsense at the President on Twitter all the time, doesn’t care who sees it:

It is not the first time that Wys has sent tweets about Obama.

In response to a July 30 tweet by a Puerto Rico online newspaper, Wys urged reporters to follow an investigation to probe the authenticity of Obama’s birth certificate. [...]

“I fight Obama with all the strength in my heart and passion as a descendant of germans!!” she wrote on July 30.

On June 18, she sent another tweet to Obama in response to a general invitation to have dinner with the President.

“Wah! Wah! I feel like vomiting! Dinner with a guy borned in Kenya and claims he was borned in Hawaii!” she wrote, with some misspellings.

But! But! She can prove that she’s not racist. See, she’d been expecting some PC nanny baby uproar like this to emerge and took the necessary precaution as outlined in Section 13 of John Derbyshire’s “The Talk” — “gain an amulet against potentially career-destroying accusations of prejudice.” Does she have a black friend, then? Pfft, child’s play. She’s got the heavy-duty industrial amulet shit here:

Wys, who is white, also said in another tweet that she is not racist and that her favorite nieces are black, but added that she does not support Obama.

Cleared.

[WaPo]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 137 comments }

Maman August 2, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Ahhh Germans always fun about the racism

bikerlaureate August 2, 2012 at 12:09 pm

That tweet really made me wonder if she was attempting satire. My hopes are dashed yet again.

Terry August 2, 2012 at 12:24 pm

German. In Latin America. Not hard to put two and two together there.

Tundra Grifter August 2, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Terry:

Connect the dots…

Biff August 2, 2012 at 1:49 pm

We're talking Germans, not Indians.

LesBontemps August 2, 2012 at 3:55 pm

I shouldn't have larfed at that, but I did.

JadedDissonance August 2, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Insert story of amazing rum-soaked trip to Puerto Rico here:

.
Ok now that we got that out of the way, it's still not a state.

BaldarTFlagass August 2, 2012 at 12:10 pm

But it's obviously in the South.

BaldarTFlagass August 2, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Sounds like Puerto Rico is just about ready for state"hood."

weejee August 2, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Only 12% blahs, so obvs not state"hoodie"

Chet Kincaid_ August 2, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Well, 12% is only a point off the black population of the U.S. And if Puerto Ricans are self-reporting their "aspirational ethnicity" instead of revealing what's in their family trees, their Negro-ness (and Boricua-ness) is way under-counted. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boriqua

Trannysurprise August 2, 2012 at 12:07 pm

The Germans always make good stuff.

BaldarTFlagass August 2, 2012 at 12:08 pm

"Wys" sounds a lot more Dutch than German to me, lady. And you know what they say about Dutch racists with black nieces, right?

RedneckMuslin August 2, 2012 at 12:09 pm

"Der Fuhrer will not be pleased"?

bobbert August 2, 2012 at 1:58 pm

They have big shoes?

PubOption August 2, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Moluccan roll!

Negropolis August 3, 2012 at 3:35 am

Something something Geert Wilders for $200, Alex?

ManchuCandidate August 2, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Worst thing a Germanic Heidi ever did to US Amercia since the Heidi game.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heidi_Game

ChernobylSoup August 2, 2012 at 12:08 pm

I wasn't borned, so much as I fell out…

eggsacklywright August 2, 2012 at 12:24 pm

It's the Borned Ultimatum.

Chet Kincaid_ August 2, 2012 at 12:51 pm

I empty a bottle, and feel a bit free.

fuflans August 2, 2012 at 2:43 pm

We had a hedge back home in the suburbs over which I never could see

(what is with british hedges? clash and eddie izzard and monty python??)

Callyson August 2, 2012 at 12:09 pm

“I fight Obama with all the strength in my heart and passion as a descendant of germans!!” she wrote on July 30.

Um, I wonder if she's aware that the Germans *lost* both of the wars they started…

Tundra Grifter August 2, 2012 at 12:28 pm

The slogan of a re-united Germany? "Let's make in one of out three."

Chet Kincaid_ August 2, 2012 at 1:32 pm

"This Time With Money!"

bikerlaureate August 2, 2012 at 12:10 pm

"Double banana" is on her mind.
And Kenyan guys.

Tequila Mockingbird August 2, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Now, now, you libruls are getting all heated up over nothing.

'Bananas' are code for "uppity, arms-waving porch monkey." And "my favorite nieces are black" is just code for "Bring me some more iced tea, motherfucker."

(Source: Teabagger Dictionary, Caribbean ed.)

memzilla August 2, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Wys, who is white [and German] also said… she is not racist and that her favorite nieces are black…

This was my favorite plot-twist in Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS.

finallyhappy August 2, 2012 at 2:02 pm

I remember ads for that movie!

actor212 August 2, 2012 at 12:10 pm

“I fight Obama with all the strength in my heart and passion as a descendant of germans!!”

Say, you know who else was descended from Germans and had a touch of racism about him?

chicken_thief August 2, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Barack HermanGoering Obumgartner?

BaldarTFlagass August 2, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Dieter the dipshit nihilist with the nine-toed woman?

TootsStansbury August 2, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Dead Andy Breitfart?

actor212 August 2, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Oooh, so close.

No, the answer the judges were looking for was "Jackie Mason."

As a consolation prize, you all get a year's supply of Rice-A-Roni.

TootsStansbury August 2, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Yummy. I tried to edit this Breitfart isn't German Dang it. So here I sit, brokenhearted, because my post, turned out r3tarded.

eggsacklywright August 2, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Oh, dear, more Hitler-bashing. Tsk.

Chet Kincaid_ August 2, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Hasn't he suffered enough?!

ManchuCandidate August 2, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Also, who gives a fuck about YOUR GERMANIC Ancestry, bitch. You're in a fucking territory of US Amercia!! Be US Amercian!

Oh and remember 1917 or perhaps WW2? Back then US Amercia also hated folks with Germanic names and who liked Dachshunds.

finallyhappy August 2, 2012 at 2:04 pm

And speaking of weiner dogs- what the hell is that pizza commercial with the people holding a fish, a pizza and a dachshund over their heads and screaming "woo"? I am an oldz so a) I don't get it and b) wouldn't buy that pizza

Redgyal August 2, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Hey, my best friend is a weenie.

Barb_ August 2, 2012 at 12:10 pm

She needs to lay off el ron de murcielagos. It is making her Bacardi batshit crazy.

Tundra Grifter August 2, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Bacardi is transplanted Cuban rum. Ron del Barrilito is the real PR shit. I have a bottle I bought down in St. Thomas in '72. I'm saving it for my 65th birthday.

We drank the Mount Gay Sugar Cane at my "Pirate Looks at 40."

[Yes, I know hard liquor doesn't age in the bottle. It doesn't get any worse, either.]

Barb_ August 2, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Hey Tundra!
I went to Puerto Rico in 1982 and toured the rum factory. I remember really wanting to get to the end of the tour for the samples.

Tundra Grifter August 2, 2012 at 1:25 pm

When I worked as a deck hand on the Water Isle ferry, as we approached town I would tell the hotel guests "Hey – I'll show you the 'pot factory.'"

We'd come around the point and there, in the middle of Charlotte Amalie, was the rum distillery smokestack painted with "POTT."

Oblios_Cap August 2, 2012 at 12:10 pm

“I fight Obama with all the strength in my heart and passion as a descendant of germans!!”

Again with the Schwarz hate!

Gratuitous World August 2, 2012 at 12:10 pm

yes, but her other nieces worked for ACORN so they're dead to her.

actor212 August 2, 2012 at 12:11 pm

"And some of my favorite nieces are faggots," she added.

Mittens Howell, III August 2, 2012 at 12:31 pm

I take them to my favorite restaurant all the time, and feed them deep fried chicken samwiches with waffle fries.

OneYieldRegular August 2, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Bristol?

Goonemeritus August 2, 2012 at 12:11 pm

I have spent my entire life waiting for the overtly racist citizens of our country to die off. Now middle age I fear they will outlive me.

ChernobylSoup August 2, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Just this morning I saw a truck with two bumper stickers: a confederate flag and a "class of 2009."

ChernobylSoup August 2, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Just this morning I saw a truck with two bumper stickers: a confederate flag and a "class of 2009."

I wept.

Billmatic August 2, 2012 at 12:22 pm

You don't happen to live in Hays County, Texas do you?

James Michael Curley August 2, 2012 at 2:31 pm

My reaction when Ms Curley and James Michael Curley, Jr. were watching 'The Help" last night was; "I thought all these people would be dead by now."

Also, starting off the movie with Johnny Cash and June Carter singing "Jackson" was interesting, but they didn't record and release the song until 1966 or 1967 and I think it was supposed to be playing on the radio of that spectacular '61 Cadillac Convertible.

Exhausted66 August 2, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Puerto Rico,
You lovely island . . .
Island of tropical breezes.
Always the double bananas growing,
Always the racism ladies blowing . . .

Texan_Bulldog August 2, 2012 at 12:13 pm

…"that her favorite nieces are black." Ahh, the favorite 'get out of jail free' card for racists. What she didn't tell you is that she doesn't have any other nieces.

kittensdontlie August 2, 2012 at 12:27 pm

How do white people get black 'nieces'? Sounds like a Puerto Rico has a slave trade problem and dumass is involved.

Terry August 2, 2012 at 12:46 pm

She also didn't mention her feelings for the in-law that resulted in those nieces being bi-racial.

OhDeerMee123 August 2, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Exactly. And she probably thinks of them as her favorites because the others are Native American……and she really hates them. Probably gave them smallpox blankets for Christmas.

Jus_Wonderin August 2, 2012 at 12:13 pm

I bet a carefully placed whack from a 2 x 4 would quiet her down. If we could even suggest that action here…anymore.

actor212 August 2, 2012 at 12:17 pm

A 2×4 of votes, of course

Jus_Wonderin August 2, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Oh, yes, yes.

WhatTheHeck August 2, 2012 at 12:14 pm

I wanna be in Amerikkka
everything free in Amerikkka

FakaktaSouth August 2, 2012 at 12:14 pm

At this point I have stopped wishing for enlightenment and starting longing for some damned creativity out of these people. What is it about racists that makes them so singularly unfunny?

Jus_Wonderin August 2, 2012 at 12:16 pm

I believe the racism consumes them so there is not much wattage remaining for the creative.

FakaktaSouth August 2, 2012 at 12:22 pm

I think you must be right. Cause I have seem some HILARIOUSLY offensive shit here on the wonks; I guess you just can't actually have your heart in what you're saying.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 2, 2012 at 12:31 pm

I find actively hating people to be exhausting. I can't do it for long and i sure wouldnt have the energy to do other, actually constructive stuff at the same time. But then, I am pretty lazy.

finallyhappy August 2, 2012 at 2:05 pm

really? I would find hating groups of people exhausting but individuals? And as for groups- I hate Teabaggers.

swordfis August 2, 2012 at 3:10 pm

I made up a Mormon joke re: Romney's visit to Poland:
How many Mormons does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer: none- Mormons only screw in the dark.

freakishlywrong August 2, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Real, irrational, pure hatred just doesn't bring the giggles, y'know?

actor212 August 2, 2012 at 12:30 pm

The poles up their asses?

Biel_ze_Bubba August 2, 2012 at 6:21 pm

This conversation is hard to follow. How did we get back to Polack jokes?

Doktor Zoom August 2, 2012 at 12:15 pm

She really IS a blah person.

freakishlywrong August 2, 2012 at 12:16 pm

She's not racist guys! If she were, she would have suggested Popeyes.

SexySmurf August 2, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Her favorite movie is The Borned (White) Supremacy.

Oblios_Cap August 2, 2012 at 12:17 pm

O/T, but I see Wiilard's wife's horse finished fairly low.

Fire the Beast! To the Glue Pots!

actor212 August 2, 2012 at 12:20 pm

As I said earlier this week, "Outsource him to a French dinner plate!"

James Michael Curley August 2, 2012 at 2:51 pm

I was once going to go to Maranello to buy my Ferrari and get a free steak dinner at Cavallino, but it was right after Secretariat died and thought better of it. Also the drugs wore off.

Texan_Bulldog August 2, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Maybe the jockey (or whatever he's called) was told to throw it. The last thing Mittens needs is for all the news stations showing his wife and her horse getting a medal at the Olympics since swing voters in OH don't tend to own dressage horses.

actor212 August 2, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Y'know, I was wondering what I'd say if RAFLAC! actually won the gold.

I mean, it's Romney, but then again, it's an American horse. It's a little hard to be all sour grapes about this.

Texan_Bulldog August 2, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Not sour grapes–just cynical.

chicken_thief August 2, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Why throw it? It isn't like the Romney's HAD to enter the fucking thing in competition.

freakishlywrong August 2, 2012 at 12:29 pm

I don't know..The beasts tax write off was more than double what I make.

Oblios_Cap August 2, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Kos actually has a decent article about how Willard is being a shit by not supporting his wife's hobby. Even humorless fucks find acorns once in awhile.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 2, 2012 at 6:18 pm

But I thought he chose the music for the horse to prance and dance to.
Although maybe Anthrax wasn't the best choice.

SorosBot August 2, 2012 at 12:17 pm

It's nice to see the bigots collectively losing their shit.

freakishlywrong August 2, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Four More Years!

actor212 August 2, 2012 at 12:28 pm

OH! DO! NOT! WANT!

Tequila Mockingbird August 2, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Ten bucks says this bitch's living room sofa is covered in plastic.

BaldarTFlagass August 2, 2012 at 12:22 pm

What, for when the nieces come to visit? Probably has some "special" plates, flatware, and glasses, too, in that hard-to-reach cabinet above the fridge.

actor212 August 2, 2012 at 12:26 pm

It's Puerto Rico, so plastic wouldn't really work.

Wicker. Her couch is wicker.

James Michael Curley August 2, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Her drunken husband is named Plastic?

chicken_thief August 2, 2012 at 12:18 pm

What, no "I'm not racist. It's the people calling me racist that are the real racists"?

mrpuma2u August 2, 2012 at 12:18 pm

If she hates the blahs and coloreds, why she live in PR? Heidi, Orly Taitz is on hold, she wants to do lunch.

Terry August 2, 2012 at 12:46 pm

The same reason that people who had Mexicans move to Arizona.

Antispandex August 2, 2012 at 12:18 pm

"Apparently she just tweets racist nonsense at the President on Twitter all the time, doesn’t care who sees it:"

So, basically, Ann Coulter, but browner and bilingual.

freakishlywrong August 2, 2012 at 12:28 pm

So, Malkin then?

Chet Kincaid_ August 2, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Based on her tweets in English, I would hold off on the "bilingual" part.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 2, 2012 at 6:08 pm

She quit half-way through her ESL class.

Stevola August 3, 2012 at 1:28 am

Quitting halfway through qualifies her to be her party's VP candidate

Estproph August 2, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Jeez guys, it's not like she hates Obama for being Jewish, alright?

Wadisay August 2, 2012 at 12:19 pm

These tweets make a lot more sense in the original German.

Billmatic August 2, 2012 at 12:20 pm

I'm not racist, my favorite slaves are black.

elviouslyqueer August 2, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Um, Heidi? You do realize that you're working for and living around a whole lot of browns, right?

actor212 August 2, 2012 at 12:27 pm
elviouslyqueer August 2, 2012 at 12:40 pm

That's actually her boss, Rep. Gonzalez. I get the feeling that Heidi looks like an old, leathery version of Brigitte Nielsen.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 2, 2012 at 6:06 pm

What's with all the walruses today?

Terry August 2, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Two words: gated community.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 2, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Anything written in German, over the iron gate?

Fairtackle August 2, 2012 at 12:22 pm

"I don't think she is a very nice lady."

-Rep. Kelly Keisling

chicken_thief August 2, 2012 at 12:23 pm

"….and that her favorite nieces are black,…."

Well, they are 3/5th her favorite nieces….

MumbletyAvian August 2, 2012 at 12:24 pm

She gets this worked up over Michelle's birthday, a while off yet? I can't wait to see what she's got for when Bammerz himself turns 51 the day after tomorrow.

ETA: WaPo and Ms. Wys share the deserved honor of getting henpecked with snark darts. Michelle's birthday isnt' til January so that's hardly "coming up." Wys earns a big fat FAIL where she could've spanked the Prez twitty-style.. And WaPo — eh, typical-as-usual, not so surprised.

CrunchyKnee August 2, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Senora Oraly Taintz LIBELZ!!!!!111!

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 2, 2012 at 12:27 pm

As a descendant of other Germans, I think this lady is a blathering twat carbuncle.

Nostrildamus August 2, 2012 at 1:01 pm

The Wonkette English lesson continues…

Terry August 2, 2012 at 12:28 pm

"Wys is the main adviser to House of Representatives President Jenniffer Gonzalez and has earned $630,000 since 2008 for her services as an administrative consultant, according to records with the Comptroller's Office."

Clearly, Wys has some compromising photos of Gonzales.

Baconzgood August 2, 2012 at 12:28 pm

borned?

OneYieldRegular August 2, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Borned to be Wys.

kittensdontlie August 2, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Is the mention of Burger King rascist , or just their double-long banana sandaes??

I am just asking for a friend.

Arkoday August 2, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Why, I have friends who own black nieces. What's the big deal?

mavenmaven August 2, 2012 at 12:41 pm

"I was afraid and standing my ground" oops, no, "I have many black friends" that's the one.

OurHoboSenator August 2, 2012 at 12:42 pm

As the descendant of Germans, I will be voting for Obama with all the strength in my heart. Because I live in a state where I get to do that. Suck it, racist.

Lazy Media August 2, 2012 at 12:42 pm

What a stupid tweet. You can't even GET bananas on a BK sundae. You can, however, get bacon.

Arkoday August 2, 2012 at 12:43 pm

From Alaska, to Puerto Reeko, To Arizona – poor guy's surrounded by hateful bitches. Time to come out swinging.

Guppy August 2, 2012 at 12:47 pm

I fight Obama with all the strength in my heart and passion as a descendant of germans!!

Zero to Godwin in 0.8 seconds!

Southerners have historically been anxious about Puerto Rico becoming a state. I think they need worry no longer.

Chet Kincaid_ August 2, 2012 at 12:54 pm

“I fight Obama with all the strength in my heart and passion as a descendant of germans!!” she wrote on July 30.

Jesse Owens and Joe Louis are laughin'.

Biff August 2, 2012 at 1:53 pm

After seeing her picture, I do not want to play Heidi the salami with her.

GorzoTheMighty August 2, 2012 at 2:17 pm

I am with you on that. She looks like Chris Farley with a wig.

DahBoner August 2, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Never been to PR, but I'm guessing you won't see any BALD White people there.

Hint: Native Americans and most Africans don't carry the Male Pattern Baldness gene

fuflans August 2, 2012 at 2:46 pm

i don't really get the german connection, but good to know racism is ecumenical.

Nothingisamiss August 2, 2012 at 2:59 pm

If it isn't true, why hasn't Romney denied it?

Biel_ze_Bubba August 2, 2012 at 6:03 pm

"with all the strength in my heart and passion as a descendant of germans!!”

Wow … not even the usual code words here. I bet she has a stiletto in one of her clunky black shoes.

ttommyunger August 2, 2012 at 6:20 pm

'Tarded twat tweets trash.

Redgyal August 2, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Someone is overcompensating.

valmach August 2, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Why is this fat fugly still working

Negropolis August 3, 2012 at 3:39 am

She does realize that if she came to live on the mainland and some hillbilly heard her accent, she'd be nothing more than a "Messican", right?

redarmyzombie August 3, 2012 at 3:47 am

“I fight Obama with all the strength in my heart and passion as a descendant of germans!!”

Oh, for fucks sake…

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