Don't read the post, we just wanted to show shirtless rick santorum againIt’s time for your Thursday Puerto Rico Roundup! What’s going on in that little island that we own or whatever this week? Well, they’ve got a racist Twitter lady type situation going down. Watch out! And how about that, she’s in politics. Steel yourselves: “An adviser to Puerto Rico’s most powerful female lawmaker faced calls to resign on Wednesday after she sent a tweet to President Barack Obama urging him to buy the first lady a double-banana sundae and take her to Kenya.” What’s the problem? That sounds like a great anniversary trip itinerary.

Wait, she suggested a sundae from Burger King? Oh dear, perhaps she was addressing the President in bad faith:

Heidi Wys sent the tweet last week shortly after Obama tweeted that Michelle Obama’s birthday was coming up.

“Who cares?” Wys wrote in response. “Take her to Burger King, buy her a sundae with double banana, take her to your homeland, Kenya!”

Apparently she just tweets racist nonsense at the President on Twitter all the time, doesn’t care who sees it:

It is not the first time that Wys has sent tweets about Obama.

In response to a July 30 tweet by a Puerto Rico online newspaper, Wys urged reporters to follow an investigation to probe the authenticity of Obama’s birth certificate. […]

“I fight Obama with all the strength in my heart and passion as a descendant of germans!!” she wrote on July 30.

On June 18, she sent another tweet to Obama in response to a general invitation to have dinner with the President.

“Wah! Wah! I feel like vomiting! Dinner with a guy borned in Kenya and claims he was borned in Hawaii!” she wrote, with some misspellings.

But! But! She can prove that she’s not racist. See, she’d been expecting some PC nanny baby uproar like this to emerge and took the necessary precaution as outlined in Section 13 of John Derbyshire’s “The Talk” — “gain an amulet against potentially career-destroying accusations of prejudice.” Does she have a black friend, then? Pfft, child’s play. She’s got the heavy-duty industrial amulet shit here:

Wys, who is white, also said in another tweet that she is not racist and that her favorite nieces are black, but added that she does not support Obama.



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  • Ahhh Germans always fun about the racism

    • bikerlaureate

      That tweet really made me wonder if she was attempting satire. My hopes are dashed yet again.

    • Terry

      German. In Latin America. Not hard to put two and two together there.

      • Tundra Grifter


        Connect the dots…

        • Biff

          We're talking Germans, not Indians.

          • LesBontemps

            I shouldn't have larfed at that, but I did.

  • JadedDissonance

    Insert story of amazing rum-soaked trip to Puerto Rico here:

    Ok now that we got that out of the way, it's still not a state.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      But it's obviously in the South.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Sounds like Puerto Rico is just about ready for state"hood."

    • Only 12% blahs, so obvs not state"hoodie"

      • Well, 12% is only a point off the black population of the U.S. And if Puerto Ricans are self-reporting their "aspirational ethnicity" instead of revealing what's in their family trees, their Negro-ness (and Boricua-ness) is way under-counted.

  • Trannysurprise

    The Germans always make good stuff.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Wys" sounds a lot more Dutch than German to me, lady. And you know what they say about Dutch racists with black nieces, right?

    • RedneckMuslin

      "Der Fuhrer will not be pleased"?

    • bobbert

      They have big shoes?

    • PubOption

      Moluccan roll!

    • Negropolis

      Something something Geert Wilders for $200, Alex?

  • Worst thing a Germanic Heidi ever did to US Amercia since the Heidi game.

  • ChernobylSoup

    I wasn't borned, so much as I fell out…

    • eggsacklywright

      It's the Borned Ultimatum.

    • I empty a bottle, and feel a bit free.

    • We had a hedge back home in the suburbs over which I never could see

      (what is with british hedges? clash and eddie izzard and monty python??)

  • Callyson

    “I fight Obama with all the strength in my heart and passion as a descendant of germans!!” she wrote on July 30.

    Um, I wonder if she's aware that the Germans *lost* both of the wars they started…

    • Tundra Grifter

      The slogan of a re-united Germany? "Let's make in one of out three."

  • bikerlaureate

    "Double banana" is on her mind.
    And Kenyan guys.

  • Tequila Mockingbird

    Now, now, you libruls are getting all heated up over nothing.

    'Bananas' are code for "uppity, arms-waving porch monkey." And "my favorite nieces are black" is just code for "Bring me some more iced tea, motherfucker."

    (Source: Teabagger Dictionary, Caribbean ed.)

  • memzilla

    Wys, who is white [and German] also said… she is not racist and that her favorite nieces are black…

    This was my favorite plot-twist in Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS.

    • finallyhappy

      I remember ads for that movie!

  • “I fight Obama with all the strength in my heart and passion as a descendant of germans!!”

    Say, you know who else was descended from Germans and had a touch of racism about him?

    • chicken_thief

      Barack HermanGoering Obumgartner?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Dieter the dipshit nihilist with the nine-toed woman?

    • TootsStansbury

      Dead Andy Breitfart?

      • Oooh, so close.

        No, the answer the judges were looking for was "Jackie Mason."

        As a consolation prize, you all get a year's supply of Rice-A-Roni.

        • TootsStansbury

          Yummy. I tried to edit this Breitfart isn't German Dang it. So here I sit, brokenhearted, because my post, turned out r3tarded.

    • eggsacklywright

      Oh, dear, more Hitler-bashing. Tsk.

  • Also, who gives a fuck about YOUR GERMANIC Ancestry, bitch. You're in a fucking territory of US Amercia!! Be US Amercian!

    Oh and remember 1917 or perhaps WW2? Back then US Amercia also hated folks with Germanic names and who liked Dachshunds.

    • finallyhappy

      And speaking of weiner dogs- what the hell is that pizza commercial with the people holding a fish, a pizza and a dachshund over their heads and screaming "woo"? I am an oldz so a) I don't get it and b) wouldn't buy that pizza

    • Redgyal

      Hey, my best friend is a weenie.

  • Barb_

    She needs to lay off el ron de murcielagos. It is making her Bacardi batshit crazy.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Bacardi is transplanted Cuban rum. Ron del Barrilito is the real PR shit. I have a bottle I bought down in St. Thomas in '72. I'm saving it for my 65th birthday.

      We drank the Mount Gay Sugar Cane at my "Pirate Looks at 40."

      [Yes, I know hard liquor doesn't age in the bottle. It doesn't get any worse, either.]

      • Barb_

        Hey Tundra!
        I went to Puerto Rico in 1982 and toured the rum factory. I remember really wanting to get to the end of the tour for the samples.

        • Tundra Grifter

          When I worked as a deck hand on the Water Isle ferry, as we approached town I would tell the hotel guests "Hey – I'll show you the 'pot factory.'"

          We'd come around the point and there, in the middle of Charlotte Amalie, was the rum distillery smokestack painted with "POTT."

  • Oblios_Cap

    “I fight Obama with all the strength in my heart and passion as a descendant of germans!!”

    Again with the Schwarz hate!

  • yes, but her other nieces worked for ACORN so they're dead to her.

  • "And some of my favorite nieces are faggots," she added.

    • Mittens Howell, III

      I take them to my favorite restaurant all the time, and feed them deep fried chicken samwiches with waffle fries.

    • OneYieldRegular


  • Goonemeritus

    I have spent my entire life waiting for the overtly racist citizens of our country to die off. Now middle age I fear they will outlive me.

    • ChernobylSoup

      Just this morning I saw a truck with two bumper stickers: a confederate flag and a "class of 2009."

    • ChernobylSoup

      Just this morning I saw a truck with two bumper stickers: a confederate flag and a "class of 2009."

      I wept.

      • Billmatic

        You don't happen to live in Hays County, Texas do you?

    • James Michael Curley

      My reaction when Ms Curley and James Michael Curley, Jr. were watching 'The Help" last night was; "I thought all these people would be dead by now."

      Also, starting off the movie with Johnny Cash and June Carter singing "Jackson" was interesting, but they didn't record and release the song until 1966 or 1967 and I think it was supposed to be playing on the radio of that spectacular '61 Cadillac Convertible.

  • Exhausted66

    Puerto Rico,
    You lovely island . . .
    Island of tropical breezes.
    Always the double bananas growing,
    Always the racism ladies blowing . . .

  • Texan_Bulldog

    …"that her favorite nieces are black." Ahh, the favorite 'get out of jail free' card for racists. What she didn't tell you is that she doesn't have any other nieces.

    • kittensdontlie

      How do white people get black 'nieces'? Sounds like a Puerto Rico has a slave trade problem and dumass is involved.

    • Terry

      She also didn't mention her feelings for the in-law that resulted in those nieces being bi-racial.

      • OhDeerMee123

        Exactly. And she probably thinks of them as her favorites because the others are Native American……and she really hates them. Probably gave them smallpox blankets for Christmas.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I bet a carefully placed whack from a 2 x 4 would quiet her down. If we could even suggest that action here…anymore.

    • A 2×4 of votes, of course

      • Jus_Wonderin

        Oh, yes, yes.

  • WhatTheHeck

    I wanna be in Amerikkka
    everything free in Amerikkka

  • FakaktaSouth

    At this point I have stopped wishing for enlightenment and starting longing for some damned creativity out of these people. What is it about racists that makes them so singularly unfunny?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I believe the racism consumes them so there is not much wattage remaining for the creative.

      • FakaktaSouth

        I think you must be right. Cause I have seem some HILARIOUSLY offensive shit here on the wonks; I guess you just can't actually have your heart in what you're saying.

        • BigSkullF*ckingDog

          I find actively hating people to be exhausting. I can't do it for long and i sure wouldnt have the energy to do other, actually constructive stuff at the same time. But then, I am pretty lazy.

          • finallyhappy

            really? I would find hating groups of people exhausting but individuals? And as for groups- I hate Teabaggers.

        • I made up a Mormon joke re: Romney's visit to Poland:
          How many Mormons does it take to screw in a light bulb?
          Answer: none- Mormons only screw in the dark.

    • freakishlywrong

      Real, irrational, pure hatred just doesn't bring the giggles, y'know?

    • The poles up their asses?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        This conversation is hard to follow. How did we get back to Polack jokes?

  • She really IS a blah person.

  • freakishlywrong

    She's not racist guys! If she were, she would have suggested Popeyes.

  • SexySmurf

    Her favorite movie is The Borned (White) Supremacy.

  • Oblios_Cap

    O/T, but I see Wiilard's wife's horse finished fairly low.

    Fire the Beast! To the Glue Pots!

    • As I said earlier this week, "Outsource him to a French dinner plate!"

      • James Michael Curley

        I was once going to go to Maranello to buy my Ferrari and get a free steak dinner at Cavallino, but it was right after Secretariat died and thought better of it. Also the drugs wore off.

    • Texan_Bulldog

      Maybe the jockey (or whatever he's called) was told to throw it. The last thing Mittens needs is for all the news stations showing his wife and her horse getting a medal at the Olympics since swing voters in OH don't tend to own dressage horses.

      • Y'know, I was wondering what I'd say if RAFLAC! actually won the gold.

        I mean, it's Romney, but then again, it's an American horse. It's a little hard to be all sour grapes about this.

        • Texan_Bulldog

          Not sour grapes–just cynical.

      • chicken_thief

        Why throw it? It isn't like the Romney's HAD to enter the fucking thing in competition.

    • freakishlywrong

      I don't know..The beasts tax write off was more than double what I make.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Kos actually has a decent article about how Willard is being a shit by not supporting his wife's hobby. Even humorless fucks find acorns once in awhile.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          But I thought he chose the music for the horse to prance and dance to.
          Although maybe Anthrax wasn't the best choice.

  • SorosBot

    It's nice to see the bigots collectively losing their shit.

    • freakishlywrong

      Four More Years!

    • OH! DO! NOT! WANT!

  • Tequila Mockingbird

    Ten bucks says this bitch's living room sofa is covered in plastic.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      What, for when the nieces come to visit? Probably has some "special" plates, flatware, and glasses, too, in that hard-to-reach cabinet above the fridge.

    • It's Puerto Rico, so plastic wouldn't really work.

      Wicker. Her couch is wicker.

    • James Michael Curley

      Her drunken husband is named Plastic?

  • chicken_thief

    What, no "I'm not racist. It's the people calling me racist that are the real racists"?

  • mrpuma2u

    If she hates the blahs and coloreds, why she live in PR? Heidi, Orly Taitz is on hold, she wants to do lunch.

    • Terry

      The same reason that people who had Mexicans move to Arizona.

  • Antispandex

    "Apparently she just tweets racist nonsense at the President on Twitter all the time, doesn’t care who sees it:"

    So, basically, Ann Coulter, but browner and bilingual.

    • freakishlywrong

      So, Malkin then?

    • Based on her tweets in English, I would hold off on the "bilingual" part.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        She quit half-way through her ESL class.

        • Stevola

          Quitting halfway through qualifies her to be her party's VP candidate

  • Estproph

    Jeez guys, it's not like she hates Obama for being Jewish, alright?

  • Wadisay

    These tweets make a lot more sense in the original German.

  • Billmatic

    I'm not racist, my favorite slaves are black.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Um, Heidi? You do realize that you're working for and living around a whole lot of browns, right?

      • elviouslyqueer

        That's actually her boss, Rep. Gonzalez. I get the feeling that Heidi looks like an old, leathery version of Brigitte Nielsen.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          What's with all the walruses today?

    • Terry

      Two words: gated community.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Anything written in German, over the iron gate?

  • Fairtackle

    "I don't think she is a very nice lady."

    -Rep. Kelly Keisling

  • chicken_thief

    "….and that her favorite nieces are black,…."

    Well, they are 3/5th her favorite nieces….

  • She gets this worked up over Michelle's birthday, a while off yet? I can't wait to see what she's got for when Bammerz himself turns 51 the day after tomorrow.

    ETA: WaPo and Ms. Wys share the deserved honor of getting henpecked with snark darts. Michelle's birthday isnt' til January so that's hardly "coming up." Wys earns a big fat FAIL where she could've spanked the Prez twitty-style.. And WaPo — eh, typical-as-usual, not so surprised.

  • CrunchyKnee

    Senora Oraly Taintz LIBELZ!!!!!111!

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    As a descendant of other Germans, I think this lady is a blathering twat carbuncle.

    • Nostrildamus

      The Wonkette English lesson continues…

  • Terry

    "Wys is the main adviser to House of Representatives President Jenniffer Gonzalez and has earned $630,000 since 2008 for her services as an administrative consultant, according to records with the Comptroller's Office."

    Clearly, Wys has some compromising photos of Gonzales.

  • Baconzgood


    • OneYieldRegular

      Borned to be Wys.

  • kittensdontlie

    Is the mention of Burger King rascist , or just their double-long banana sandaes??

    I am just asking for a friend.

  • Arkoday

    Why, I have friends who own black nieces. What's the big deal?

  • mavenmaven

    "I was afraid and standing my ground" oops, no, "I have many black friends" that's the one.

  • OurHoboSenator

    As the descendant of Germans, I will be voting for Obama with all the strength in my heart. Because I live in a state where I get to do that. Suck it, racist.

  • Lazy Media

    What a stupid tweet. You can't even GET bananas on a BK sundae. You can, however, get bacon.

  • Arkoday

    From Alaska, to Puerto Reeko, To Arizona – poor guy's surrounded by hateful bitches. Time to come out swinging.

  • Guppy

    I fight Obama with all the strength in my heart and passion as a descendant of germans!!

    Zero to Godwin in 0.8 seconds!

    Southerners have historically been anxious about Puerto Rico becoming a state. I think they need worry no longer.

  • “I fight Obama with all the strength in my heart and passion as a descendant of germans!!” she wrote on July 30.

    Jesse Owens and Joe Louis are laughin'.

  • Biff

    After seeing her picture, I do not want to play Heidi the salami with her.

    • GorzoTheMighty

      I am with you on that. She looks like Chris Farley with a wig.

  • DahBoner

    Never been to PR, but I'm guessing you won't see any BALD White people there.

    Hint: Native Americans and most Africans don't carry the Male Pattern Baldness gene

  • i don't really get the german connection, but good to know racism is ecumenical.

  • Nothingisamiss

    If it isn't true, why hasn't Romney denied it?

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    "with all the strength in my heart and passion as a descendant of germans!!”

    Wow … not even the usual code words here. I bet she has a stiletto in one of her clunky black shoes.

  • ttommyunger

    'Tarded twat tweets trash.

  • Redgyal

    Someone is overcompensating.

  • valmach

    Why is this fat fugly still working

  • Negropolis

    She does realize that if she came to live on the mainland and some hillbilly heard her accent, she'd be nothing more than a "Messican", right?

  • redarmyzombie

    “I fight Obama with all the strength in my heart and passion as a descendant of germans!!”

    Oh, for fucks sake…

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