But what if he actually is a demon?

Guy Who Thinks Small Business Loans Aren’t ‘Government Help’ Also Can’t Tell Cusses From Threats


So it turns out that the business owner in that dumb Romney ad about the fake “You didn’t build that” line, and who it turns out actually did rely on government loans and contracts for some of his business, now haz a sad because some people have been calling and emailing his business to say mean things about him. Jack Gilchrist, owner of a metal fabrication company in Hudson, New Hampshire, appeared in the ad, above, whining about being “demonized” by the President for being successful, which of course rather badly misses the point.

Gilchrist is a self-made man whose wholly self-built business merely happened to receive over $1 million in loans from state and federal government programs, and continues to rely on defense contracts for about 10% of its business. But, you see, that is absolutely NOT hypocrisy, because he is just looking out for himself:

“I’m not going to turn a blind eye because the money came from the government. As far as I’m concerned, I’m getting some of my tax money back. I’m not stupid, I’m not going to say ‘no.’ Shame on me if I didn’t use what’s available.”

A crazy person might even come to the ridiculous conclusion that Gilchrist was successful because our system works pretty much like that socialist Obama described it, some kind of wacky cooperation between the public and private sectors. And apparently a whole bunch of crazy people did come to that conclusion, because after the news of Mr. Gilchrist’s dependence on corporate welfare broke, he began receiving “emails calling him a hypocritical laughingstock, a liar and worse.” He also said that he received “threatening” telephone calls, “including one from a Chicago area code” that worried him a great deal! He reported it to local police, who apparently decided that inflicting butthurt does not quite rise to the level of harassment:

“The Hudson Police Department made a notification to the United States Secret Service in Manchester, N.H., and they were made aware of it,” said Hudson Police Capt. Bill Avery. “Right now, there doesn’t seem to be any threats made, other than some vulgar language towards the owner of Gilchrist Metal.”

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(In an earlier discussion of the story, Gilchrist specified that he’d received about 600 emails, roughly half supporting him, and half mocking him, as well as two telephone calls; he admitted that although “there was no specific threat, to me, it’s harassment.”) Romney campaign spokesman Ryan Williams stopped just short of accusing the Obama campaign of orchestrating the unkind emails and phone calls to Gilchrist, but suggested that they constituted

“the same kind of Chicago-style politics that the Obama political machine has repeatedly used to push the President’s liberal agenda and intimidate anybody who disagrees with his failed policies”

Oh, those nasty Chicago-style politics, with the deep dish crust and the extra cheese! One wonders where anyone ever got the idea that non-politicians who spoke up in favor of particular policies are somehow fair game?

Mind you, Your Wonkette would never advocate calling people in the news and telling them that they are morons, because being a complete jerkface is just plain not a good thing to do. We would also like to emphasize that volunteering to play the martyr in an advertisement for a presidential campaign is a pretty public bit of speech, and that “receiving communication” is often the result of including a “Contact Us” button on one’s business website. (We have not seen any reports of people calling Mr. Gilchrist at home, which would definitely be sleazy.) Gosh, it sure would be nice if people would not be dicks to each other over politics. Civility, fuck yeah. One almost wonders if campaign ads based on wildly inflated claims about being “demonized” aren’t somehow part of the problem, maybe.

[Raw Story, WMUR-9 ]

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About the author

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom

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181 comments

  1. nounverb911

    I trust he's paying his fair share of taxes too, also. Or is he stashing it with Mitt's money in Swaziland?

    1. Tangled sin tax

      Hey, I been there! Kinda strange to sit talking with a Boer farmer with an R4 assault rifle leaned up against his cafe table while he's also feeling up the mixed-race gal on his lap.

    1. arihaya

      Sadly this is what most of Teabaggers think.

      Food stamp for Blah? WELFARE.

      Food stamp for white unemployed guy next door? He deserve it, it's his right.

      1. lefty74

        Joe the Plunger isn't blah and wants to be a job creator. But he never was and has yet to become a licensed plunger. Qualified to be a teabagger running for congress though. 'Murica!

      2. ChessieNefercat

        Food stamp for Blah? WELFARE. Food stamp for white unemployed guy next door? He deserve it, it's his right."

        Well, duh. Obumbles put the nice white guy out of work, duh! The blah guy didn't want to work anyway, right?

        (Trying to think like stupid people hurts my head,)

        1. Butch_Wagstaff

          I've known some racist whites who got the Food Stamps (back when they were actually paper) and you should have heard some of them say things like "If those damned n*****s got off welfare I could get more food stamps."

          1. doloras

            So, it's not that they really oppose Teh Soshulisms – they just want a kind of socialism which supports the white nation, not the negroid interlopers. A kind of "National Socialism", if you will.

            Hmmm. Say, you know who else wanted National Socialism?

          2. Boojum

            I know that one! Um…what was his name…that guy, with the mustache. Crazy eyes, like Bachman…

          3. viennawoods13

            I have to share how the Canadian PM, William Lyon Mackenzie King, described said eyes:
            "his eyes impressed me most of all. There was a liquid quality about them which indicate keen perception and profound sympathy"
            That always creeps my students out.

    1. Terry

      Well, at least he's a step up from Joe the Plumber. He got his name and occupation correct. Too bad he didn't listen to what Barry said himself.

      1. MittBorg

        They wouldn't be the lovable little scamps they are if they missed a single chance to wring the last drop of blood out of us poor stones, now, would they?

      1. MittBorg

        The power of Christ can't even compel the motherfucker to tell the truth. I'm not holding out a whole lot of hope for Christ here.

  2. Chow Yun Flat

    But, you see, that is absolutely NOT hypocrisy, because he is just looking out for himself language has lost all meaning and words are sounds that stand for anything you want them to.

    1. smokingood

      Quoting a conservative verbatim is a gross violation of their freedom of speech. I'm pretty sure it's worse than that time Franklin Delano Hitler flew those 747s into Pearl Harbor and sank the Maddox.

    1. bobbert

      Give a man a Jesus-fish bumper thingie, and he'll be batshit crazy for a day.

      Name a man after the Jesus-fish thingie, and he'll apparently dissolve his own brains in stupid, forever.

  3. SorosBot

    It's like when Craig T. Nelson said he never got any government help back when he was broke and living off food stamps.

      1. SorosBot

        It made me retroactively ashamed to have enjoyed Coach; but then so did watching that show again as an adult, I had bad taste and liked almost everything as a kid.

        1. anniegetyerfun

          Oh, but it was a good show. Some of the funniest people are total assholes, obviously.

    1. Butch_Wagstaff

      I always thought that what needed to be added to that line was "…or to be interesting to watch in anyway."

  4. gullywompr

    Any government help he got was already stolen from him, and he's not even getting it all back, so basicaly he's operating his business at a loss. Thanks Obama!

  5. Callyson

    Actually, we need somebody who does not deliberately misquote the President over and over and fucking over, in the hope that the Big Lie will make his sinking candidacy credible in some way…

    Asshole.

    (ETA: oh, and this guy in the ad is an asshole too…)

  6. coolhandnuke

    As the owner of a Fabricating Company, Gilchrist should have a much thicker, slimier, scalier skin when it comes to the truth.

  7. not that Dewey

    "Oh, help me, commie fascist US Secret Service! Those mean liberal people said that I rely on government services!"

  8. Schmannnity

    Jack Gilchrist, owner of a metal fabrication company in Hudson, New Hampshire.

    Live Free on Government Loans or Die!

  9. HalluxValgus

    Great, so this clown will undoubtedly be running for a house seat in 2014. "Jack The Metal Something Or Other."

  10. Exhausted66

    It still beats a call from Bain Capital saying you've been acquired and please pack up your personal belongings.

    1. zippy_w_pinhead

      no, no, no! stocks soared because Wall Street is excited about Romney's upcoming election win. I heard it on CNBC, it must be true…

  11. Gleem McShineys

    He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the butthurt ward. *That's* the *Chicago* way!

    1. BoroPrimorac

      I think I've seen that one. It's the one where the dickhead boss spends all day berating his employees, right?

  12. thefrontpage

    Here's some other businesses that have received SBA grants, and their respective owners, according to SBA Weekly:

    1. Death Hunt Ranch, Ted Nugent.

    2. Kill-First Martial Arts Training Centers, Chuck Norris.

    3. Sprinkled Pink Web Design Services, Mindy Meyer.

    4. Morons and Idiots, Inc., Ruch Limbaugh.

    5. The Council on Foreign Relations, G. Gordon Liddy, Chuck Colson.

    6. Satan's Demonic Civic Club, Dick Cheney.

    7. The George W. Bush Institute of Public Speaking, George W. Bush.

    8. The Alvin Greene Center for Political Discourse, Alvin Greene.

    9. Bathroom Stalls Manufacturing and Installations, Larry Craig.

    10. The Illuminati, Karl Rove.

  13. Antispandex

    "Shame on me if I didn’t use what’s available.”

    You know, I once heard a thief justify his actions the same way. Of course I don't know if he was being an honest thief or not. Just like I don't know if this guy is an honest hypocrite. It just isn't for me to judge.

    1. not that Dewey

      "Why did I apply for a government-backed small-business loan? Because that's where the money is."

  14. GhostBuggy

    “The Hudson Police Department made a notification to the United States Secret Service in Manchester, N.H., and they were made aware of it,”

    The Secret Service would be the ones to waste their time on this why exactly? Because it was a campaign commercial? What am I missing?

  15. barto

    Ah yes, victim #148,260.321 in the endless parade of right wing douches. But don't take that personally, Gilchrist (if that's your real name).

  16. SayItWithWookies

    In an earlier discussion of the story, Gilchrist specified that he’d received about 600 emails, roughly half supporting him, and half mocking him, as well as two telephone calls; he admitted that although “there was no specific threat, to me, it’s harassment.”

    The more I learn about tough, independent, rugged individualists, the more they look like coddled sissies whining in their playpens that someone else has one of their toys.

  17. Groupshrug

    “the same kind of Chicago-style politics that the Obama political machine has repeatedly used to push the President’s liberal agenda and intimidate anybody who disagrees with his failed policies"…

    That sounds like he's quoting from a pac supported political ad… "Chicago style politics", "Obama poitical machine" "President's liberal agenda" "failed policies", all cliched buzz word/phrases. Usually these ads mention Obamacare at least 3 times.

        1. weejee

          Agreed, but the Repuddlingtons can't get past chapter one of Lee Atwater's play book. Find an abstraction that in 1954 was the n-word and then play that dog whistle 24/7.

          1. horsedreamer_1

            Lee Atwater's deathbed conversion (cynical ploy to get into Heaven, when his deeds could only suggest Hell) retroactively burned his playbook.

            Plus, he loved the blues, which is black music, & no white racist (Eric Clapton) could like the blues. Ergo, not racist.

  18. bauserdotcom

    Joe the Plumber was cleverer. He was a PRETEND businessman, so he didn't have an actual business for the Chicago Style Politics to call him at!

  19. not that Dewey

    Is Jack Gilchrist any relation to Jim Gilchrist, of Minutemen fame? Because he's a sociopathic asshole, too.

  20. Joshua Norton

    As far as I’m concerned, I’m getting some of my tax money back. I’m not stupid, I’m not going to say ‘no.’ Shame on me if I didn’t use what’s available

    You know, he could just as easily have said, "I'm a Fox News educated moron" using far fewer words.

  21. SexySmurf

    He also said that he received “threatening” telephone calls, “including one from a Chicago area code”

    You humiliate yourself in a stupid TV commercial, we call to ask if you have Prince Albert in a can. It's the Chicago Way.

  22. mavenmaven

    If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen. Why are these Repubs always such wussies?

  23. b[redact]opple

    It seems to me that Romney goes out of his way to sound like a wheezy child-molester in the voice-over at the end. How many takes do you think that required?

  24. salt_bagel

    Back in my day, to get demonized you had to chant for a good 15 minutes before the portal would even open up. But, I suppose that's progress.

  25. fartknocker

    He should go back to work and finish the car elevator for Mittens new house and the horse elevator for the new addition on Rafalca's barn.

  26. rocktonsam

    so, he is a success, self made with government assistance and a failure?

    will beer help me to understand?

  27. DahBoner

    other than some vulgar language towards the owner of Gilchrist Metal

    Ever notice how these loud-mouth, ignorant bullies turn into pussies when someone says anything to them that they don't like?

    No offense to Pussy Riot

  28. upthruster

    "I’m not going to turn a blind eye because the money came from the government. As far as I’m concerned, I’m getting some of my tax money back."

    Really? Did you also get a degree….any F#*KIN' degree on Earth, through government subsidized colleges, or grant money, or millitary training or any other damn thing that gives you any pedigree over anyone else after it was funded by the feds. Yah, as long as you give up these credentials and start over completely from scratch…then I'll believe you built your own life.

  29. Guppy

    Shame on me if I didn’t use what’s available.

    Maybe if your loan pitch didn't make you seem as foolish as this commercial has, money would have been available from private lenders.

    I'd be curious to see if he was a net source or drain of federal tax money, but I'm not sure I'd trust his balance sheets.

  30. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    When will people learn that the only business that survives without government support is pimping? Why do you think Mitt Romney has sunk all of his money into his Mexican Child Prostitute business?

    1. Chet Kincaid_

      "Rafalca" isn't coming back. Approximately 30 Estonian schoolgirls will be transported back in the container. Then, "Rafalca" will magically appear in her regular stall at home, in that stable nobody is allowed to enter for the duration of the Olympics, after the container has been unloaded. They've got a whole system down. All of this is confirmed by half-truths widely circulated on the Internet.

    2. tessiee

      "When will people learn that the only business that survives without government support is pimping?"

      Tony Soprano: Sil, break it down for 'em. What two business have traditionally been recession-proof since time immemorial?
      Silvio Dante: Certain aspects of show business and our thing.

  31. Monsieur_Grumpe

    Well OK then. We will take the money back and Mr I Don't Need No Gubbermint Help can go on making Ayn Rand not roll over in her grave.

  32. Designer_Rants

    So why is this self-made mountain of a man calling the Big Gubmint Union Thug Cops to come over and give him a soothing pat on the head? I just assumed he was a One-Man Self-Contained Unit-of-Awesomeness.

  33. Fraudulently_Joe

    Gilchrist is a self-made man whose wholly self-built business merely happened to receive over $1 million in loans from state and federal government programs, and continues to rely on defense contracts for about 10% of its business. But, you see, that is absolutely NOT hypocrisy, because he is just looking out for himself:

    “I’m not going to turn a blind eye because the money came from the government. As far as I’m concerned, I’m getting some of my tax money back. I’m not stupid, I’m not going to say ‘no.’ Shame on me if I didn’t use what’s available.”

    If over $1 million dollars in loans counts as "getting some of your tax money back", then you started out so filthy rich that you wouldn't have needed those loans in the first place.

      1. Fraudulently_Joe

        I thought the point of calling it the "Death Tax" was to suggest that it's the person who dies, and not the person inheriting, who's actually the one paying it. In which case, that wasn't his tax money!

  34. BarryWDC

    Geez–I'm reminded of the town halls in 2009-2010, when all the Tea Bagger folks over 65 were telling all their Congress people to "keep your filthy government bureaucratic hands off my Medicare and Social Security." Gawd–what a country?

  35. kakotechnia

    I should probably figure out what Gilchrist makes, so that he can exercise his right to be free of my cooties-infested state government money.

  36. C_R_Eature

    Another self-made Galtian Superman, eh? Well, stay the hell off my Federal highway system, fucker!

    Also, quit whining and Man Up. It's not like Michelle Malkin is creeping around your house taking photos of your countertops, fer chrissake.

  37. JimmyPete

    This douche is "getting some of his money back" ok only take the some of his taxes that he has paid, hey send me the rest of your government loan and see how well you do. What a punk.

  38. MinAgain

    I wonder if he uses his metal fabrication equipment to make tin hats for all the conspiracy theorists?

  39. GeorgiaBurning

    How can it be "Chicago-style politics" without a city inspector and some thousands of dollars involved? Or am I too old-school?

  40. oedipusrexryan

    I'm so sick and tired of seeing wingnut references to "Chicago", and "Chicago-style". Why don't they just say what they mean? In other words, why don't they just say BLACKETY BLACK THUG BLACK?

    1. Chet Kincaid_

      There are also overtones of GRAFTITY-GRAFT BLAGO/CONVICTED, PINKIE-RING WEARING, PATRONAGE-PIMPING ALDERMAN GRAFT, CLOUT-HEAVY DEMOCRATIC MACHINE/UNION/MOB ARMY, and for the old-timers, BANGITY BANG AL CAPONE.

      1. Chet Kincaid_

        Also, JESSE JACKSON POVERTY-PIMPIN, EL RUKN/VICE LORD BLACKITY STREET GANG FEDERAL PROGRAM DEFRAUDIN, PRE-EMPTIVELY ASSASINATE-ABLE BLACK PANTHER "COMMUNITY ORGANIZIN", & BLACKITY TEENAGER YOUTUBE FLASHMOB BEATDOWNS. Just so you understand the full panoply and nuances.

  41. Chet Kincaid_

    Well, the phone calls should subside this weekend, because everyone in Chicago is chaperoning their kids to that popular children's festival, Lollapalooza.

      1. Chet Kincaid_

        Well, let's see how it works. What Daley was doing was definitely NOT working and could not continue. The kid from the Reader's input was kind of worthless — I already know I want my fucking potholes fixed, and they're not getting fixed now! We do have to try something different.

        1. le_derppage

          I hope it works out. Supposedly the model has succeeded elsewhere, and- as you say- something needs to change.

  42. BoroPrimorac

    I would love to have seen this dumb fuck grow his business without an electric grid or a telephone.

  43. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I will call this bitch. The motherfucking 206 area code should strike motherfucking fear in every motherfucking corner of this motherfucking country.

  44. tessiee

    "He also said that he received “threatening” telephone calls, “including one from a Chicago area code” that worried him a great deal!"

    Gilchrist, you dumbass, you're doin it rong!
    It's not "everybody in Chicago knows Obama personally"; it's "all blah people know each other".
    Dumbass.

  45. Dashboard Buddha

    "As far as I’m concerned, I’m getting some of my tax money back. I’m not stupid, "

    Yes, yes you are stupid. You'd be getting some of your tax money back if you were getting grants. But, you are getting loans that have to be paid back…with interest.

    How do you manage to stay rich?

  46. mrblifil

    Meh. Call me when his metal fabrication company creates a Perpetual Motion device. Because for now the fabrications all seem to be verbal, rendering him a perpetual moron.

  47. MackRJ

    If you appear in a national political ad for one of the presidential candidates, you cannot be surprised if you get the attention of at least a small and vocal portion of the electorate. It isn't like he's a guy that Mitt Romney mentioned in a speech who was suddenly inundated with hateful calls/emails. This is a guy who stars in a political attack ad that is willfully (on the part of the campaign but possibly not consciously on Jack Gilchrist's part, to give him a heroic level of benefit of the doubt) misrepresentative. I'm not saying people are justified in sending death threats, which so far no one has done.

    But 600 emails, half of them positive, half of them negative? That's the internet equivalent of not being noticed at all.

  48. Biel_ze_Bubba

    I'l believe he's a victim of "Chicago-style politics" when they find his body buried under a pile of neon-green relish.

  49. ttommyunger

    These assholes just can't seem to avoid trick-fucking themselves at every turn, hee, hee.

  50. carlgt1

    so basically, these teabagger assholes are still at the level of "keep your gubmint handz off my social security check!"

  51. dopper0189

    Don't call the cops that government, buy a bunch of handguns if you're scare. What a government leach!

Comments are closed.