BUT WHAT ABOUT CHICK-FIL-A?  4:45 pm August 1, 2012

Bolivia Expels Coca-Cola Because of the Apocalypse

by Jim Newell

the War SodaSometimes your Wonkette gets so carried away lamenting the ills of American politics that we ignore the bigger picture: The Mayan Apocalypse is coming at the end of the year, and then we won’t have to worry about any of this. Has our government made preparations for the country’s afterlife? It’s time they got a jump on that, like Bolivia has. Bolivia’s foreign minister, Ken Layne David Choquehuanca — he’s all about the Mayan Apocalypse. In his view it won’t be so much an apocalypse-apocalypse, just an apocalypse of U.S. capitalists meddling in their business. And so he’s announced that in the New Times, Bolivians will no longer be allowed to drink Coca-Cola. They will drink this peach thing or another “fizzy” drink instead.

Via HuffPo:

In what is being called a “symbolic rejection of US capitalism,” Bolivia has announced that it will be marking the end of the Mayan calendar with the expulsion of the Coca-Cola Company from the country.

“December 21 of 2012 will be the end of egoism and division. December 21 should be the end of Coca-Cola,” Bolivian foreign minister David Choquehuanca said earlier this month, according to Russian news agency, RT.

This is a significant move for Bolivia — who will join Myanmar, North Korea and Cuba as the only countries in the world that are coke-free, Yahoo! News notes.

Unlike the doomsayers who have predicted the apocalypse to occur on Dec. 21, Choquehuanca said he is optimistic that the end of the Mayan calendar will usher in a new and more progressive era — one that will see “the end of hatred and the beginning of love.”

“The planets will align for the first time in 26,000 years and this is the end of capitalism and the beginning of communitarianism,” he said, adding that the people of Bolivia should opt to drink Mocochinchi — a local peach-flavored drink — as an alternative to Coke products, Russian newspaper Pravda reports.

Well, that’s one very longwinded way of saying that you’re trying to protect domestic industry:

What the minister failed to mention, however, is the Bolivian government’s other drink of choice — a fizzy energy drink called “Coca-Colla” — was given the stamp of approval by Bolivian president Evo Morales.

All hail the coming post-capitalist two-l’d soda pop knockoff era!

[HuffPo via Felix Salmon]

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 158 comments }

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Mocochinchi is also drunk by the local shamans when doing spirit walks.

nounverb911 August 1, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Is it sold at Charbux?

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 5:15 pm

And coffee houses all over Amsterdam

BoatOfVelociraptors August 1, 2012 at 5:20 pm

I think Ayahuasca would be better suited for that task.

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 5:28 pm

You can't fool me, I saw "Altered States".

horsedreamer_1 August 1, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Smirnoff Ice, meanwhile, is consumed by bros when doing elephant walks.

nounverb911 August 1, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Good for Bolivia, I gave up on Coke after they bought the Atlanta Olympics.

Negropolis August 2, 2012 at 1:14 am

I just wish the Republicans would give up Koch, already.

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 4:47 pm

All hail the coming post-capitalist two-l’d soda pop knockoff era!

Dollctor Pepper.

Pllepsi (which probably gives you uncontrollable shakes)

Slleven Up

Geminisunmars August 1, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Don't forget Mr. Pllibb and Mountain Dewll.

HempDogbane August 1, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Short supplies of Mountain Dewll caused the collapse of the Mayan Empire.

Steverino247 August 1, 2012 at 6:59 pm

No, that was the Appalachian Empire…

Biel_ze_Bubba August 1, 2012 at 10:18 pm

So long as I can get Sam Adams Boston Alle, I see no problem.

Billmatic August 1, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Sundquist

GhostBuggy August 1, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Poopsi.

Billmatic August 1, 2012 at 5:15 pm

(this is made with lingonberries and lutefisk and only avaliable in northern sweden)

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Gllögg?

emmelemm August 1, 2012 at 5:38 pm

I love this comment a lot.

larrykat August 1, 2012 at 5:14 pm

8-Up.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 1, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Mario just used shrooms to get his 1-up.

vodkamuppet August 1, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Im a Faygllo man myself.

Antispandex August 1, 2012 at 4:48 pm

If Che would only have thought of this, he might still be alive.

Steverino247 August 1, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Know this. You're going to execute a viable business plan.

Baconzgood August 1, 2012 at 4:52 pm

I just have to say that Bolivia will NEVER be coke free.

PubOption August 1, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Snort.

starfanglednut August 1, 2012 at 6:04 pm

Chop chop.

WhatTheHeck August 1, 2012 at 6:59 pm

this comment wins it by a nose

RadioBowels August 1, 2012 at 4:52 pm

I bet they won't be giving up Classic Coke anytime soon.

RadioBowels August 1, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Any word on if they are going to allow Chik-Fil-A to open there?

CapnFatowls August 1, 2012 at 4:56 pm

DAMN YOUR ITCHY TRIGGER FINGER!!!

CapnFatowls August 1, 2012 at 5:19 pm

You know what, I just spied the tip-top of the post. Newell had us both dead to rights.

RadioBowels August 1, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Whoops, who reads those inane superlines anyhow?

Billmatic August 1, 2012 at 4:59 pm

No, they have Choq-Fol-E which also hates the gays.

Chet Kincaid August 1, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Los Pollos Hermanos.

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Oh, the Kochs?

(thus neatly tying back to the thread)

TheJasonAlexanderFanClub August 1, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Probably not, just look at their secondary rainbow flag: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flag_of_Bolivia

ManchuCandidate August 1, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Damn Dr Pepper fanatics have to ruin everything.

edgydrifter August 1, 2012 at 4:54 pm

If you reach for a can of Coke to perk yourself up, you aren't Bolivian.

Jus_Wonderin August 1, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Caffiene headache in….3…2…1….

coolhandnuke August 1, 2012 at 4:55 pm

First they expelled Mr. Pibb, then Zima. What's next Bolivia–Lone Star Beer?

CapnFatowls August 1, 2012 at 4:55 pm

However, sales of Chick-Fil-A in Bolivia will continue unabated.

EDIT: Since Radio is cleverer than me by two minutes, here's a "wacky definition" update, so you don't have to read this comment and think, "Fuck that poser."

unabated: Having performed mutual masturbation.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

. . .

You still thought, "Fuck that poser," didn't you?

MumbletyAvian August 1, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Well folks here's your poster boy for caffeine cutback advocacy if ever I saw one.

CapnFatowls August 1, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Perish the thought; I never drink caffeine! I get all of my soft drink refreshment from that Bolivian original, Sllice.

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Now with more Peruvian Marching Powder

RadioBowels August 1, 2012 at 5:40 pm

♫ ♬ Celebate good times, come on.♫ ♬

shelwood46 August 1, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Cool — just like Mitt.

Native_of_SL_UT August 1, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Fair's fair. I will now boycott Bolivian coke.

chascates August 1, 2012 at 4:57 pm

As long as it has actual cocaine in it I don't care what it tastes or looks like. One liter, please.

MumbletyInFlight August 1, 2012 at 4:57 pm

or another “fizzy” drink

I will hold off further opinion til I see what commenter Mr. Fizzy has to say about this.

He has been kvetching about his pee score not rising quickly enough so he better hurry the fuck up.

Extemporanus August 1, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Heydare, Peg! How's your Cute Avatar Theory playing out?

(Mr. Fizzy: Regularly leaving lazy comments that are just unattributed re-tweets is apparently a winning strategy now for some inexplicable reason — you should try that and see if you garner a similar response.)

MumbletyAvian August 1, 2012 at 7:07 pm

There *is* a special person in my avi! may she rest in peace when not stirring up trouble in the hereafter. And another 'person' named within my profile blurblet, he whose vestigial nomenclature's echoing around these corridors outpaces his ability to manifest his hornbeaked, winged presence here. Our friend is sober one [1] year today August FIRST!!1!, and as I attempted earlier to incorporate his handle into mine, the avian-that-shan't-be-spoken triggered a spamfilter, thus rendering me frozen-out of here for a few sobriety-inducing moments. Which was educational, for now I've experienced how he feels in *more* ways that one!
Humbly,
Mumbletysomething

Charlie_Foxtrot August 1, 2012 at 7:26 pm

Happy Happy Happy One-Year Birthday to your friend! That is tremendous.

The Un-Sober may not realize how on-topic a one-year sobriety birthday is. In my first year sober I was a one-man market segment for Dr. Pepper. And I ate about 3 gallons of ice cream a day.

MumbletyAvian August 1, 2012 at 7:34 pm

What you just said. Much the case, as described to me by numerous family and friends demonstrating thus the power of restraint, and discipline — enviable qualities these days. The extra calories and carbs can be exercised away. The damage done by habitual, unmitigated drinking — not so readily.

RadioBowels August 1, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Keep coming back C_F.

Huitzapochtli August 2, 2012 at 1:09 am

Thanks for coming, Charlie. There's Chexmix over there by the hi-fi and agua gaseosa in the cooler. Here, have a party favor! *phweeee!* What? No, no ice cream and none of that abominable Dr. Pepper swill either. Don't want us all to lose our girlish figures now, do we?

Extemporanus August 1, 2012 at 8:45 pm

She's a corker of an angel, I've little doubt — thanks for sharing. (Even if you only did so to test our recent hypothesis that one could emotionally manipulate others into more frequently fisting them solely by having a cute, rather than obtuse, avatar. *wink wink*)

Regarding you honorific nom de guere, I noticed the mid-day change and briefly wondered What Up, Yo? I'm glad you made it out the other side, though saddened that a certain word did not. I remember one year ago today quite well, as we had a back-and-worth before he officially got back on the nest, and I shared words of drunken encouragement in the days that immediately followed. I hope that he continues to fly right — this joint clearly wasn't helping in that regard. (I trust that our friend Radio knows better when and how to take a little break now and then, as well…)

RadioBowels August 1, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Eyes here my friend. Clean and sober. And taking frequent walks down the Layne. There is a place, other than here, where the avian soars.
I hope you see that feathered friend.
Radiosomething

Huitzapochtli August 2, 2012 at 1:05 am

Did I ever tell you about a guy named Buda?

MittBorg August 3, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Forgive me, y'all, for being so slow. I'm only now beginning to understand the degree of manipulativeness behind the cutesy. Upfists all around.

MittBorg August 3, 2012 at 12:46 pm

You're kidding! So we're now dealing in "s/hez Who Must Not Be Named" and stuff?

CapnFatowls August 1, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Hell, sometimes even the attributed re-tweet gets the copious thumbs (and Irish) up.

Extemporanus August 2, 2012 at 1:14 pm

They're magically fistlicious!

(The best part? The attributed original wasn't even original, either!)

By the by, I've been meaning to sincerely thank you for days now for the words you shared with Pris on the pink page — I agree across the board. So, um…thank you.

(I do need to talk to him about the "negotiation" comment — we've always been super cool with each other, so I'm not sure where that's coming from. Just need to need find a time & place for a discreet tête-à-tête…)

Oh yeah, also, too: Happy belated Birfday, big boy!

MittBorg August 3, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Harmony times I gotta tellz ya it's (blogname one_word) at the gee mail?

CapnFatowls August 4, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Lately Ive been daydreaming about attending a Battle of the Bands. I get to hear many great acts, but hell if it ain't the Who cover band that gets the highest score on the applause-o-meter. The result makes me wish we'd just thrust our hands back in our pockets. I wonder what that means?

I was going to ask how you knew I was big, until I remembered my screen name. I kinda imply ample magnitude, don't I? Well, remember: it's all about the girth, not the length, Stilts.

And you and Pris are good peeps; you'll hash it out over a couple of snifters of Cutty Snark, no doubt.

Thanks for the birthday wishes. My dream was realized by a celebratory pie fight (a la the rejected Dr. Strangelove ending). It's a waste of food, but a hilarious one, and rinsing off never tasted so good.

Huitzapochtli August 2, 2012 at 12:54 am

Surely you didn't think I'd miss tonight, did you?

Extemporanus August 2, 2012 at 3:01 am

Happy Quitday, quitter.

not that Dewey August 2, 2012 at 8:30 am

Looks like it was a swell party.

Extemporanus August 2, 2012 at 1:15 pm

The swelling, for the most part, has gone down.

MittBorg August 3, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Hey! Lemme see those fleas on your neck.

MittBorg August 3, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Happy anniversary, dear fiend.

docterry6973 August 2, 2012 at 8:42 am

I am writing this to see my pee score.

docterry6973 August 2, 2012 at 8:43 am

95. That's, like, a record score, right?

Dudleydidwrong August 1, 2012 at 4:59 pm

"I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to hold it in my arms
And keep it company
(That's the song I hear…)
I'd like to see the world for once
All standing hand in hand
And hear them echo through the hills
For peace throughout the land
(CHORUS)
Mocochinchi, it's the real th…."

"Christ! Who wrote these damn lyrics?"

fuflans August 1, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Elevator! Going up!
In the gleaming corridors of the 51st floor
The money can be made if you really want some more
Executive decision-a clinical precision
Jumping from the windows-filled with indecision

I get good advice from the advertising world
Treat me nice says the party girl
Koke adds life where there isn't any
So freeze, man, freeze

It's the pause that refreshes in the corridors of power
When top men need a top up long before the happy hour
Your snakeskin suit and your alligator boot
You won't need a launderette, you can send them to the vet!

MilwaukeeKent August 1, 2012 at 9:25 pm

"I'd like to teach the world to sing
And tell it jokes and stuff
Then tie its hands
Behind its back
And drag it through the rough."

ThankYouJeebus August 1, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid just jumped off a cliff.

(40-year-old Pop Culture References for $200, Alex.)

BarackMyWorld August 1, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Someone had to do it.

deanbooth August 1, 2012 at 7:15 pm

I was in Memphis when the movie came out. Apparently, Butch and SK yelled "shiiiiiiiit" as they jumped off the cliff, and there were stirrings in the Memphis government to ban the movie or any movie that used words "referring to excrement." There was much debate about what word they were actually yelling.

MadBrahms August 1, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Let's see, Bolivia, Mayans, "end of egoism and division", "beginning of love"… someone just got high and read a copy of The Celestine Prophecies before a press conference, I think.

SayItWithWookies August 1, 2012 at 5:03 pm

I'm sticking with the Ayahuasca, thank you very much.

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Dammit! THAT was the one I was trying to remember! Also known as yagé.

It's legal in the Santo Daime church, which almost makes me want to attend services again.

Angry_Marmot August 1, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Stay away from the reptiles and the insects if they try to speak to you. The jaguars usually know what they're talking about, but the tapirs just want to borrow money.

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 5:20 pm

That GEICO gecko is pretty creepy

BoatOfVelociraptors August 1, 2012 at 5:26 pm

You beat me to the DMT joke. I guess all will be well in 18 hours though.

Ducksworthy August 1, 2012 at 5:04 pm

In other Latin American news, the crypto-Facist Opus Dei in the Vatican (where they have been preserving Mussolini living testicles since 1944) has sanctioned the Peruvian national catholic university, forbidding it to call itself Catholic on account of teaching.

PubOption August 1, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Has the university been allowing those socialist nuns to teach?

johnnyzhivago August 1, 2012 at 5:05 pm

This sounds like a good reason to invade Bolivia.

mavenmaven August 1, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Next thing you know they'll ban dog fighting.

Chet Kincaid August 1, 2012 at 5:09 pm

The Foreign Minister's last name is pronounced "choke-a-yankee." Or choke-a-honkie." Depends on your region, really.

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 5:14 pm

*striking Bolivia off the bucket list*

Negropolis August 2, 2012 at 1:24 am

Did you hear? Their Minister of Culture is named Hangedanegro.

Come here a minute August 1, 2012 at 5:12 pm

No Coke? Big fucking deal, it's not like it's the end of the world.

IndianaKevin August 2, 2012 at 8:26 am

Or IS it? (Zoom in on my eyes as I cock one eyebrow and stare directly into camera. Fade to black. Roll credits. Reach for a cool, refreshing Mocochinchi.)

KeepFnThatChicken August 1, 2012 at 5:14 pm

The planets will align for the first time in 26,000 years and this is the end of capitalism and the beginning of communitarianism

As an amateur astronomer, and knowing where the planets will be on 12/21, I'd say Bolivia needs more science than the United States.

Steverino247 August 1, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Well, at least we have another reason why all the telescopes are in Chile, eh?

KeepFnThatChicken August 2, 2012 at 10:49 pm

I want to visit the Atacama desert, big time. Apparently you can rent a scope if you visit some certain observatory. *swooooon*

Tequila Mockingbird August 1, 2012 at 5:16 pm

*scratches head*

In 2009, I spent six weeks backpacking La Ruta Maya (Mayan Route) of Central America, from San Cristobal de las Casas to Tulum, hitting up half a dozen ancient ruins sites along the way. I asked every one of my tour guides "What will happen on December 21, 2012?" and every one of them said "Absolutely nothing."

Also, Coca Cola got its name from cocaine, and the world's entire cocaine crop comes from… yeah, I haz a confused.

bobbert August 1, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Well, the replacement is still named Coca Colla, and that rhymes with Coca Polla, which would be an excellent name for a fizzy drink.

weejee August 1, 2012 at 5:16 pm

/ Steve King in a fit of imperialistic pique tears-off his wristwatch, throws it to the dirt, and drives over it with a Quad John Deere.

/ Steve starts to cry when he finds out that Bulova watches are not made in Bolivia.

larrykat August 1, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Wouldn't you like to be a Leper too?

OneYieldRegular August 1, 2012 at 5:17 pm

I eagerly await Michele Bachmann's call to arms about how this will open up the Bolivian soft drink market to Mecca-Cola.

Mittens Howell, III August 1, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Send the Fundies down to guzzle Bolivia's Coca Cola supply!

They're probably thirsty after today's Totally Not-Gay Fried Chicken Orgy For Jeesus.

Guppy August 1, 2012 at 5:18 pm

The planets will align for the first time in 26,000 years

How's that space program coming along?

Blueb4sinrise August 1, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Alcalde Miguel Bloomberquez

Estproph August 1, 2012 at 5:20 pm

No Coke, Pepsi.

Am I really the first person to think of this?

WhatTheHeck August 1, 2012 at 7:05 pm

This tells me you’re at least 40 years old.

MosesInvests August 1, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Cheeborger, cheeborger!

anniegetyerfun August 1, 2012 at 5:22 pm

I've had Coca Cola before. They really won't be missing much.

Comrade Wingtardd August 1, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Doesn't Bolivia know the Cola Wars ended in the 80's? They're like those island-trapped Japanese soldiers who still thought WW2 was going on when they were rescued forty years later …

Steverino247 August 1, 2012 at 7:08 pm
Woodshedding August 1, 2012 at 5:24 pm

This is excellent news and I'm sorry to hear this forum is brainwashed
enough to make fun of it.

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Yes, because we should only make fun of things from the right wing, and be completely serious, people, about bullshit from the left.

Accurate enough for ya?

Chet Kincaid August 1, 2012 at 5:28 pm

I'm sure the deafening tide of derision from the Wonkette comment section will lead them to reverse their policy. We suck.

extreme_left August 1, 2012 at 7:02 pm

fuck you

Steverino247 August 1, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Dude, if you can't take a joke, leave now or be expelled from Bolivia.

swordfis August 1, 2012 at 8:00 pm

I think the accurate term is "Coke-washed." And you'll have to pry my diet Coke from my cold, twitchy hands.

Negropolis August 2, 2012 at 1:27 am

Oh, fuck you, too, my friend.

Monsieur_Grumpe August 1, 2012 at 5:27 pm

I've expelled Coke from my nose while reading Wonkette. It is painful.

bobbert August 1, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Win.

LetUsBray August 1, 2012 at 5:31 pm

The Ken Layne reference needz moar misanthropic despair.

Beowoof August 1, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Don't you know this is the reason we spend more on defense than the next 12 countries combined. Now get the Marines ready to go in and defend the free market from the socialists.

Steverino247 August 1, 2012 at 7:10 pm
HateMachine August 1, 2012 at 5:46 pm

I can't believe I keep forgetting that Cuba has no Coca-Cola. The fuck do they put all the rum in?

doloras August 1, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Their mouths.

HateMachine August 1, 2012 at 7:09 pm

That'll get the job done, generally.

Still, it is beyond weird that you can't get a drink (cuba libre) in the nation it is named for. Nothing beats real life and history for weird, I guess.

IndianaKevin August 2, 2012 at 8:28 am

Cuba libre, hold the Coke, please.

TavariousChinaSmith August 2, 2012 at 2:32 pm
CthuNHu August 1, 2012 at 5:49 pm

President Morales referred all questions to the lovely and intelligent Bolivian Senator from La Paz, Michelle Bachmann.

HistoriCat August 1, 2012 at 5:52 pm

If anyone wants to discuss this in more detail, come over to Wonkkette.com

Rotundo_ August 1, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Mountain Dew and Dr. Pepper are still allowed for humanitarian purposes (breakfasts for fat American touristas).

SoBeach August 1, 2012 at 6:03 pm

They like their Coke in Bolivia. Wonder if this will last.

(BTW That picture you see next to my posts? I took that in Bolivia. Yay me.)

SoBeach August 1, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Coca tea and coca sodas are legal and ubiquitous in Bolivia. Do they really need neutered Coca-Cola?

Lazy Media August 1, 2012 at 6:07 pm

The end of the Mayan calendar is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius?

Goddam hippies.

horsedreamer_1 August 1, 2012 at 6:15 pm

How can Bolivia be against high sugar drinks when their capital is called "Sweetwater"?

DahBoner August 1, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Inca Cola?

extreme_left August 1, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Llama juice?

BZ1 August 1, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Cola-Coka, Cookie-Cola, Coca-Coca will all make their appearance soon

Arkoday August 1, 2012 at 6:44 pm

So. Ken Layne replaced by a David Choke-a-hunk-a. Why am I not surprised.

AddHomonym August 1, 2012 at 6:55 pm

I could go for a nice tall glass of that choqlitwonka right about now.

WhatTheHeck August 1, 2012 at 7:08 pm

The Bolivian foreign minister got tired of sniffing coke and having the bubbles get up his nose.

Neoyorquino August 1, 2012 at 8:49 pm

One 'l', two 'l's… whatever. As long as it mixes with rum.

MilwaukeeKent August 1, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Coca-Cloaca…

tessiee August 1, 2012 at 10:24 pm

Any other old farts who remember that this was a National Lampoon story ("Che Guevara's Bolivian Diaries") way back when?

Biel_ze_Bubba August 1, 2012 at 10:25 pm

A "New" Coke? Didn't they already try that?

occams8ball August 1, 2012 at 11:03 pm

communitarianism???? I am an instant convert!

ttommyunger August 1, 2012 at 11:49 pm

Just in case some of you haven't already OD'd on depressing news, google "killer coke".

Negropolis August 2, 2012 at 12:33 am

In retaliation, Hillary Clinton has banned in the American afterlife whatever the fuck Bolivia is famous for like….Lake Titicaca or some shit.

Negropolis August 2, 2012 at 1:20 am

Yes, yes. But when will the Republicans give up Kock, is the real question.

dopper0189 August 2, 2012 at 7:12 am

No offense but Bolivia is hardly Coke free they are a major supplier of it.

Oh my bad, didn't realize you meant Coca-Cola!

BornInATrailer August 2, 2012 at 10:12 am

What, no Popsi?

Charlie_Foxtrot August 1, 2012 at 10:41 pm

If I had known I was going to stay sober this long I'd have been working a stronger program.

RadioBowels August 2, 2012 at 1:00 am

We have to give Owls a cyber chip. I would definitely go to his celebration speaker meeting.

Huitzapochtli August 2, 2012 at 1:03 am

You can give it to me now, amigo.

RadioBowels August 2, 2012 at 1:59 am

{{And the obligatory abrazo.}}

Extemporanus August 2, 2012 at 3:03 am
MittBorg August 3, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Can I at least offer a hug?

Extemporanus August 2, 2012 at 3:02 am

Today, we are all on the wagon.

Extemporanus August 2, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Haha, right after I hit submit on my last reply to rebirthday boy, my apartment's main fuse blew! Had to wait until this morning to replace it. This can only mean one thing: The Mayan Apocalypse is nigh.

I's had my ayes on you, and eye've found your recent stabilized readings to be totally rad. It's nice to know that there's at least one other person who remembers Ken's koan — birdbrain pinned it on me, and I never got around to plucking him for it:

"I hate to seem like a drama queen with these Exto-labeled 'long walks' away…"

Walk out with yer cock out, my brother…

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: