what is 'legal'?

Iowa Rep. Steve King: Why Is It Wrong To Dog-Fight If It Is Okay To Rape And Kidnap These Children?

You guys, we are not even kidding about this. Iowa Rep. Steve King, perhaps feeling a little heat since ThinkProgress pointed out that he actually and for real loves it when people murder puppies, has gone absolutely around the bend. And we mean MORE around the bend than Steve King usually assays.

In explaining himself, King argues that animals have more rights than fetuses, and suggests that
liberals have so devalued life, that a man can rape a young girl, kidnap her, force her to undergo an abortion across state lines, and then “drop her off at the swingset….and that’s not against the law in the United States of America.”


We think — and we’re just talkin’ out loud here, just spitballin’! — that if Steve King does not know it is against the laws of the United States of America for a man to impregnate a 13-year-old and take her across state lines and force her to have an abortion and then drop her back off at the swingset, perhaps Steve King has no business being employed in the body that makes the laws for the United States of America. Oh, who’re we kidding? Of course he should. Romney/King 2012, and cetera.


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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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    1. AbandonHope

      I am glad to say that we are actively avoiding driving through that state to attend a wedding in South Dakota. Have you ever seen aerial photos of Iowa? It's a perfect, unwavering grid of boredom. I mean, so perfect that from the right height the roads actually look like you're looking through a screen door. He's probably an advocate of dog fighting because it would break up the mind-numbing, soul-killing hell boredom that is Iowa.

    2. BaldarTFlagass

      I'll bet "driving fast with out-of-state plates" is probably one of those un-legal things. And if you aren't of lily-white dermis, fuggedaboudit.

    3. Sacanagem

      Not nearly as much as Rep. King would like.

      Iowa's 5th District keeps re-electing this twatwaffle, don't know why. If it's any consolation, they've also kept Tom Harkin in the Senate for decades.

        1. Designer_Rants

          I live in what is now his district. Vote Christie Vilsack! I've noticed on a recent road trip that there are far too many "Elect KING" signs, and a conspicuous absence of "Vote VILSACK" signs. I hope that's not foreshadowing, but I fear the worst. Fortunately, there's a lot more blahs and browns in his new district (he HATES that!), and there's more urban (for Iowa) areas. I hate to think that I might actually live where this guy represents me.

          1. emmelemm

            Urban… for Iowa.

            Excuse me while I laugh until I pass out.

            (Truly, I love you, Iowan Wonketters. I don't envy you, but I still love you. No disrespect.)

        1. sullivanst

          Plus there's that whole Federal jurisdiction when you cross state lines in the commission of a felony thing.

          Perhaps Steve King thinks it's only illegal if you can be executed for it, or something.

  1. Billmatic

    I dunno about you guys, but I always thought liberal was synonymous with child molester.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      "a man can rape a young girl, kidnap her, force her to undergo an abortion across state lines, and then “drop her off at the swingset…"

      Or as we call it, A Liberal's Tuesday Night.

  2. johnnyzhivago

    Well, let's not be TOO harsh. I agree he should not be a congressman, but perhaps House bathroom attendant would be a better fit?

    Then again, maybe something outdoors….

  3. ManchuCandidate

    The real shitty part is that he thinks the abortion and the taxpayer paid swingset are the worst part of this straw-'fetus story. Sounds like Steve needs to be registered.

    1. AbandonHope

      I know — it's like the abduction and child rape are bad, sure, but the forced abortion, man, that's the horrible part.

      Motherfucking scumbag.

  4. AbandonHope

    He's obviously covering in advance for the crimes that he and Romney have allegedly committed and are currently hiding.

  5. coolhandnuke

    Last time I checked Congressman, rape and kidnapping are against the law in the United States of America. Swingsets and abortion, however, are legal.

    1. kittensdontlie

      King was fishing for answers here. He thought maybe if you drop a kid off at a swingset, all the other stuff would be forgiven…he is definitely up to something and it's not good.

  6. Goonemeritus

    I’m passionately against organized fetus fighting as well as dog fighting so I believe I am consistent.

    1. Boojum

      OK. I said something, but I don't know what. I was intri*gued by the whole "fetus fighting" concept.

      Is the ring a bowl of amniotic fluid? Can you have like a fetus-octopus match? Or fetus-sea cucumber? I see a big future.

    2. Boojum

      OK, so this is a little excessive. I can't use a synonym for interested that contains a four letter string that resembles the name of a Palin spawn.

  7. spends2much

    I think Steve King got his definition of Liberal from Conservapedia.

    Also, Steve King is a psychopathic shithead- lethal combination.

  8. Jus_Wonderin

    Jesus Christ! If I were this man's parents and I were still living…I'd off myself. "Marge, please pull that cord there. No, that one over there. Ye…………………………………."

  9. Steverino247

    Does he want a list of the Federal or State criminal codes those acts violate? Or both?

    Too bad it's not a Federal offense to be stupid in public…

  10. FakaktaSouth

    13 year olds are impregnated and taken across state lines "more times than Steve King likes to think about." I mean, he likes to think about it SOMETIMES, but sometimes he likes to think about how much he hates gay people.

    1. bibliotequetress

      "I don't want to think about those girls crossing state lines so often, especially like in those tiny New England states where you cross a state line every 8 miles and then you get to Canada or out westerly. Oh, my brain hurts. My thinking thoughts get all confused by those state lines and they bounce around like air hockey pucks and then I forget to have fun thoughts about tween-raping and puppy killing. They cross state lines more than I like to think about."

  11. Baconzgood

    Ramping up the crazy? I wouldn't have played a retraction like that but hey, we all forgot about him liking cock fighting. *Shrugs shoulders* Can't argue with results.

  12. el_donaldo

    Thank you, Wonkette. I know far too much now about Steve King's fantasy life to sleep comfortably without medicating myself.

  13. memzilla

    Why does the Congressman from Iowa have the motto of the State of New Hampshire behind him? I guess his geographic knowledge is as good as his legislative knowledge.

  14. BaldarTFlagass

    "it is against the laws of the United States of America for a man to impregnate a 13-year-old and take her across state lines"

    Just ask Jerry Lee Lewis. Jail time certainly sent his career off the rails. Though I don't think he impregnated. But she was his cousin.

  15. CthuNHu

    …liberals have so devalued life, that a man can rape a young girl, kidnap her, force her to undergo an abortion across state lines, and then “drop her off at the swingset….and that’s not against the law in the United States of America.”

    This is good news for puppeteers.

    1. Boojum

      Wait, so the abortion starts in one State and ends in another or do they just lay her across the border?

      Man, law is complicated!

  16. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    In explaining himself, King argues that animals have more rights than fetuses, and suggests that
    liberals have so devalued life, that a man can rape a young girl, kidnap her, force her to undergo an abortion across state lines, and then “drop her off at the swingset….and that’s not against the law in the United States of America.

    I guess we now know how Steve King spends his afternoons.

      1. Jus_Wonderin

        That is certainly evident. AND, she has finely tuned the reception on the rabbit ears with bits of foil. Bravo!!

    1. BornInATrailer

      In his mind, taking her across state lines to buy a Plan B pill gave the story a whiff of unbelievability.

    2. mull_man

      No, it's just that the man's navigation skills are on par with his critical reasoning abilities. This is someone who can't find his ass with both hands; it would take him weeks to drive to Chicago.

  17. Jus_Wonderin

    King probably has an illustrated guide on how to do this; complete with other playground equipment you might drop the youngster off near.

    1. el_donaldo

      High school diploma. Now, I'm not one to insist that college is the only way to determine a person's worth, but perhaps King does negatively demonstrate the possible advantages of higher education?

  18. widestanceromance

    He sounds all too familiar with the laws regarding this behavior, and that comes as a surprise to no one here.

  19. StealthMuslin

    Okay fuck this, I want a search warrant for every place Steve King has ever been. I guarantee you he's got a trophy case full of old milk cartons somewhere.

  20. pdiddycornchips

    Steve King is wrong about one thing. Raping thirteen year olds is only legal if they're boys and you're a Catholic priest.

  21. coolhandnuke

    …King also claimed that he has broken up more dog fights than he started…
    He is quite the canine altruist. I bet he was caught pulling the wings off flies as a sadistic youth and would reply "but mom, I only pulled one of the wings off."

    1. AbandonHope

      "Hey, in my defense, I stopped a few more rapes than I committed, so in the end I come out ahead." — King, possibly

  22. actor212

    The absolutely astounding bit of all this to me is King is equating dog fighting with child raping, and ranking dog fighting as "better," when they're both hideous crimes.

    This is akin to saying that Jews who died in the gas chamber had it better than Jews who died in the ovens.

    I mean, really, words cannot express how much, with votes, I wish King would be anally raped by a biker gang and forced to abort his colon.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      "This is akin to saying that Jews who died in the gas chamber had it better than Jews who died in the ovens."

      And those who perished in the death vans at least got a ride in the country out of the deal.

    2. anniegetyerfun

      "I mean, really, words cannot express how much, with votes, I wish King would be anally raped by a biker gang and forced to abort his colon."

      Seriously, this was like a little poem to me.

    1. extreme_left

      We at 'Surprise' Limo service offer sparkly gaffer tape, scented blindfolds, 'his and hers' hot pokers, fully padded boot etc for the man who really wants a yes.

  23. elviouslyqueer

    Like I said yesterday, Steve King is waaaaaaaaay overdue for a thorough cockpunching.

    1. Baconzgood

      If I knew I'd be waiting in line for 25 hours I'd have brought a sleeping bag and some booze.

          1. BornInATrailer

            If this were an actual event, the line would make people think some genius bar got the iPhone 5 early.

  24. glamourdammerung

    I am thinking that the DoJ has an obligation to not only look into a guy claiming you can legally rape 13 year olds, but to publicly acknowledge they are doing so.

  25. MissTaken

    That's nice that the rapist man leaves the girl at the swingset. After my daily abortions I find a romp on the monkey bars to be invigorating.

      1. HistoriCat

        The lines are really long at the Abort-a-rama. Now, if they ever get the Abortionplex finished, we can really get to some abortin'!

    1. Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Well as they say, the key to good health for a young girl/woman is to wait at least 30 minutes after the abortion to hit the monkey bars. I read it in Steve King's crazy-as-fuck-all book on the subject.

    1. MosesInvests

      I say that he can fight the 50 or so pit bulls that I saw yesterday at the animal shelter. Pitties get dumped because they have a reputation for fighting-because of sociopathic SOBs like King. No snark here, just disgust.

  26. BornInATrailer

    Just give her an extra hard push on the swing set and you can skip that lengthy (and expensive) kidnapping/interstate travel/abortion aspect.

  27. coolhandnuke

    Moral of this story: If you see Rep. Steve King hanging around a swingset, release the fucking hounds on him.

  28. Sacanagem

    On behalf of my people I'd like to extend my deepest apologies. They keep re-electing this psychotic twatwaffle back into Congress. I have no idea why.

    His district (5th Western Iowa) is somewhat more conservative than the rest of the state, but not THAT much. Hell, we used to have honest-to-god socialist farming collectives and everything.

  29. Blueb4sinrise

    Requirements for Involuntary Hospitalization and Treatment.

    “(1) afflicted with a mental illness, “ consequently (2) to lack “sufficient judgment to make responsible decisions with respect to [the person’s] hospitalization or treatment,” and (3) to be likely, if allowed to remain at liberty, to inflict physical self-injury or injury to others, or to inflict emotional injury on the designated class of persons.


      1. LetUsBray

        Okay, now I know you're just BSing us.

        Brisdull knowing a word like 'insinuate'. Pffftt.

  30. CommieLibunatic

    I have no words for this. Well, I'll go with "Happy thoughts… happy thoughts… happy thoughts…"

  31. SorosBot

    No, crossing the moral line is when we elevate the "rights" of blastocysts over those of humans, like King wants us to do. Oh but then in his world if you have a vagina you're not a real human.

  32. Guppy

    Those of us "of a certain age" think the slogan "Romney/King" sounds a little too much like something else.

  33. SorosBot

    Notice that he has more of a problem with the imaginary crime against the fetus than the real one against the young woman in his hypothetical. Oh and how can he have a problem with forced abortion when he thinks forcing women not to have in abortion, which is morally the exact same fucking thing, is OK?

  34. rickmaci

    This does not surprise me one bit. My work puts me around conservatwits quite often. As near as I can tell, they are coming to believe that BHO will defeat Romoney. That has them in a state of near demonic agitation and causes them to amp up the volume of the crazy talk to off the dial levels. As November draws near, it will get worse.

    1. Dildeaux

      Right. This is how it works for wingnut reps.

      Say something competely outrageous.
      See immediate increase in your fundraising.

  35. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Just because this guy kidnapped a 13 year old, raped her, took her across state lines and forced her to get an abortion and got away with it doesn't make it legal. I think? But then I'm no lawyer.

    1. Boojum

      There is a certain autobiographical air to the detailed description, isn't there? Like he finishes, waits a few seconds, and says "Or so I've heard, from a friend."

  36. Ducksworthy

    Why do I sense that the floor of Steve King's office is sticky with the blood and entrails of the animals he has killed?

  37. ph7

    A man can rape a young girl, kidnap her, force her to undergo an abortion across state lines, and then “drop her off at the swingset….and that’s not against the law in the United States of America.

    Steve, just because the statute of limitations may have run on you doesn't make it legal.

  38. BaldarTFlagass

    OT – Great, a bomb threat at San Antonio International, whole place evacuated. I bet the freeway going by there is gonna be a nightmare, and here I head home in 10 minutes. Fuck.

    1. Naked_Bunny

      Just stay late. Browse the web. Then send your boss an email after hours as if you'd been working.

      Well, that's my plan, anyway.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        We think slightly differently, see. There are several bars en route and if the TransGuide says we're fucked, then Stonewerks here we come!!!

    1. NYNYNYjr

      What about…a former dog-fight dog, who performs abortions? Voiced by Gilbert Gottfried. I'll call it Poochy Howzer. Put it on ABC at 8pm.

  39. Naked_Bunny

    Rep. King appears to be sharing a bit of his personal life with us. Unfortunately, the only lesson he took away from the experience is, "If you don't get caught, it's legal."

  40. Antispandex

    You know what IS illegal in America? Kicking Steve King in the balls. What has become of this country?

  41. BaldarTFlagass

    I was gonna say "No wonder he went into politics, with his voluminous legal knowledge he'd have been a shitty lawyer," but I see on his Wikipedia page that he didn't even finish his college degree in wildlife management at Northwest Missouri State

  42. JustPixelz

    "…liberals have so devalued life…"

    I take this a little personally … because I have a life that I value.

    Abortion is the sad ending to a longer story about love, sex and fear, sometimes with ignorance mixed in to all three parts. It's sad even when the girl gets to play on the swing set afterward.

    if conservatives are serious about protecting the unborn, they need to do a lot more to protect the born. WIC, food stamps, education, economic security — the social safety net that they hate so much — needs to be strong or those little girls of King's crocodile tears will have no choice when they're pregnant.

  43. unclejeems

    Well, well, well. Looks like this lying sack of, er, honorable five-term United States representative from Iowa has a race on his hands this year. Iowa seems to have lost one district after the 2010 Census. And despite comments above, looks like its congressional districts are fairly split between Tea-tards and actual people, uh, Democrats, so rolling across Iowa might not be so boring after all.

    In 2010 Representative Douchebag, er, King won in a walk and outspent his opponent seven or eight to one http://www.opensecrets.org/races/summary.php?id=I… .

    This year, he has been redistricted. His opponent is Christine Vilsack, formerly Iowa's first lady. She's raised as much money as her dickish opponent http://www.opensecrets.org/races/summary.php?id=I… and we hope, can de-Congress the little creep. I'm sending her a few bucks just to say I did my part. Stay tuned.

  44. GeorgiaBurning

    Forget it, Iowa. Florida, Arizona and Texas have the crazy playoffs wrapped up, take your lovely parting gifts and go home.

  45. Chet Kincaid

    That video monologue is a masterpiece of some kind. It starts off silly, quickly becomes appalling, and ends with a flourish of creepy absurdity.

  46. Larry McAwful

    It's still legal to rape and murder kitten fetuses and abandon them in empty booths in Chick-fil-A, though, right?

  47. MumbletyAvian

    From the article:

    King also claimed that he has broken up more dog fights than he started

    "I have not yet begun to start more fights than I have ended."

    That sounds much more muddle-Americana, Rep King, go with this version.

  48. Chet Kincaid

    Can we still abuse that rapper "Pit Bull"? All his fucking commercial endorsements are annoying, especially that liquor spot where he makes girls spin around at high speed and turn into sluts.

    1. NYNYNYjr

      I despise people who I only know from commercials. Have I ever heard a Pit Bull song? No.

  49. Nesnora

    That's how I met my first boyfriend! And here I thought I was just turning lemons into lemonade…

  50. Callyson

    a man can rape a young girl, kidnap her, force her to undergo an abortion across state lines, and then “drop her off at the swingset….and that’s not against the law in the United States of America.”

    Why am I not surprised that a Republican is not familiar with the fact that rape is, in fact, against the law?


  51. Rotundo_

    Still hogshit upholstered in skin in a suit. I hope he's out of a job in January as well. he should be selling insurance to rubes.

  52. Gleem McShineys

    If only science could work out some way for laws to be recorded in some way, so people could later refer to them and know what was legal and what isn't, maybe some of these playground rapebortion horrors could be averted.

  53. HistoriCat

    I wonder if we could pool our money and hire Yolanda to come over from the Philippines and kick Steve King in the nuts. It would be honest money for her and deeply satisfying for us.

  54. Fraudulently_Joe

    In Steve King's defense, when he says "rape", what he really means is, "give a girl an HPV vaccination". And when he says "kidnap", he means "send her to public school".

    With that important context, suddenly Steve King don't seem so crazy after all, does he?

    …Does he? Uh, guys? Where'd everyone go?

  55. bibliotequetress

    What type of swingset? After the rape and the state lines and the abortions, what if you can only find a see-saw or jungle gym? Is it still legal then?

  56. doloras

    "…a man can rape a young girl, murder her, in 1990, and drop her body off at the swingset, and he gets his own wingnut teevee show."

  57. Misty Malarky

    So – It's either state line-crossing aborting, swingset defiling baby rape . . . or dog fights.

    Take you pick!

  58. MonkeyMotion

    If King was a 13-yr old girl, I'd love to see his claim put to the test — on him.

    You know, purely for academic purposes.

  59. MadBrahms

    I actually missed the last little bit, in which King "claimed that he has broken up more dog fights than he started and has instructed his staff 'to post three of those family dogs up on the Facebook page tonight so you can see what goes on in our house.'"

    I… I don't think you quite understand what a "dogfight" is, Steve, unless you really are letting your kids use the rec room for throat-ripping canine combat ala Amores Perros.

  60. swordfis

    Isn't this the place in the movie when the "normal" guy starts decompensating and rambling and you suddenly realize that the child-rapist-murderer is actually HIM – THE GUY [Iowa Congressman] LEADING THE INVESTIGATION!!???

  61. Warpde

    Can I take them across the border to Canada for the abortion?
    It's free here.
    Just asking.

    1. viennawoods13

      Depends where you are, if it's free or not. Seriously. I know someone who had that issue recently, was going to cost $600 locally, had to drive 3 hours to a free clinic.

  62. ttommyunger

    Steve, I know you wear little girl panties under that $1,200 suit. I'm OK with that, just don't speak so much, please?

  63. Willardbot9000_V2.5

    I'm guessing Steve King confessed to a crime in there…maybe the Iowa police should check their cold case files for a 13 year old girl who got raped by a wild-eyed psycho who forced himself on her after making her watch back alley dog fights. This demented fuck then drove her to Kansas during which he spouted insane bible-type references and forced her to get an abortion before depositing her back on the swingset thereafter. Because the demented sick fuck who committed that abomination all those years ago just totally confessed…

  64. Negropolis

    that a man can rape a young girl, kidnap her, force her to undergo an abortion across state lines, and then “drop her off at the swingset….

    Whereas a conservative would rape her, kidnap her, and then force her to bare the child across state lines and raise it as if nothing happened.

    Fuck you, Steve King. Fuck you with shriveled Iowa drought corn. Oh, and votes, mais oui.

  65. Cheburashka64

    You know what I would do if I thought it was legal to do that? I'd introduce the "Anti child raping, kidnapping, transporting across state lines to force to get an abortion, and then dropping off on a swingset bill" right away. I wouldn't use it to justify making other horrible things legal, because if I did that I wouldn't just be an unqualified moron with disturbingly realistic and detailed fantasies about 13 yr old girls and swingsets, I'd also be a dick.

  66. DahBoner

    that’s not against the law in the United States of America.

    Well, even if that were true, which it's not (dumbass)–as a lawmaker, who's fault is that, dumbass?

  67. Dildeaux

    How freaking difficult is it for media types to hound King demanding specific examples of said forced abortion? One example, please. Oh, right. There are none.

  68. Dildeaux

    Imagine how outlandish crap like Kings fantasies will bloom later this year…

    the gop take back the Senate
    they hold on to the House
    Obama wins the election, while losing the popular vote

    A recipie for utter chaos.

    1. DahBoner

      the gop take back the Senate

      They don't give a shit about Mitt, he's trash.

      The Senate is their prize, keep your eyes on the prize….

  69. DahBoner

    "He has long been dedicated to adding value as close to the corn stalk and bean stubble as possible, as many times as possible"


  70. redarmyzombie

    No snark here. This man reminds me of a certain relative I have who barbeques roadkill and has fantasies about cannibalism…

  71. AbandonHope

    Oh, crap. I knew that there would end up being Iowan Wonketteers. Okay, I apologize for comparing the aerial view of your state to looking at a screen door. Seriously, though, it startled me. It's like a road grid system designed by the Borg.

  72. Chichikovovich

    Ames is a university town, isn't it? Home of Iowa State? That can't be good for King, can it?

  73. Designer_Rants

    No apology necessary. I deserve it for living in (maybe-but-hopefully-not-next-year!) or around the district of a "representative" who makes Arizona's elected officials look like the adults in the room.

    And yeah, Iowa is FLAAAAT. The RAGBRAI-ers say it's not and get huffy about it, but it's pretty flat. I think if you grow up on the plains, you either make if your life's mission to get away from it, or you fall in love with it.

  74. sullivanst

    The part that amuses me most about the grid system is the way you have 330th St in the middle of absolutely nowhere, and then a couple of miles down the road it's 5th St and 330th St is five fields over. A couple more miles down the road, 5th St is now 150th St and the second 330th St is now 120th St.

    I thought grid systems were supposed to eliminate confusion?

  75. Designer_Rants

    He said other crazy shit today too, crazy enough for a whole separate Think Progress post. Does nobody love this crazy asshole? When is his family going to step in and commit him? How is it only Bachmann who made the Repigs criticize her rhetoric? Fuuuck.

    Edit: Had to come back and post someone's comment from the link:
    "I would like to see his Long-Form Sanity Certificate."

  76. sullivanst

    1-ell ran for President, Steve King might conceivably be aware enough of others' perceptions of him to realize how pointless that would be, or at least his advisers might.

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