sad that gore vidal missed this

A Children’s Treasury of America’s Pilgrimage to Chick-Fil-A

Not enough sauce!It is here, finally: Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day, the brainchild of weekend cable television host Mike Huckabee and people who read his Facebook diaries. According to most reports, we’re seeing long fast food drive-thru lines across the nation, as Real Americans everywhere (but mostly in Real America) are rushing out of their homes to stick it to the queers and eat chicken sandwiches. Never before has the Obamacare individual mandate seemed so necessary. Let’s take a tour of some photos on the Twitter, of fast food lines.

Here’s RedState champion Erick Erickson spying on Chick-fil-A lines from the next parking lot over. Eating somewhere else, are we?

The line on Eastern Road in Warrington is tremendously long, as consumers choose not to park in the many available parking spaces and actually have to walk a few feet to get their chicken.

This Twitter person suspects that these chicken lines are not of normal length. No, these look to be “Mike Huckabee Diabetes Internet Party” lines.

Good heavens, they had to open a second line at the Fayetteville mall.

What the local news “encountered” doesn’t seem all that interesting, does it? You’re supposed to take photos of the LINE, local news. Drive-thru windows have been around for decades.

Here’s our favorite Tennessee GOP, showing the line at a location right next to the “WE BUY GOLD” shop. See, you sell your gold, then you get in the car and drive next door to get your chicken.

Do you have fascinating photos of “let’s eat fast food because we hate gay people” day to share, Wonketteers? Tips@wonkette.com, please.

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About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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420 comments

    1. kittensdontlie

      I imagine every ChickFilA employee who is being overworked today is thinking the same thing…

      1. AbandonHope

        No shit, it's not like they're getting paid any more as a result of this. But wait, I thought hard work was the sole determiner of wealth!

  1. Barb_

    Love this tweet:
    Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day was such a success, they're thinking of announcing they also hate Irish people.

          1. Limeylizzie

            Tintin was on television when I was a kid and it was fantastic, they announced it in this very cool voice 'Herges Adventures of TinTin”. I hate Spielberg's films, yes , even Schindler's List was awful and mawkish, there are far more evocative Holocaust films than that.

          2. prommie

            Those Tintin cartoons were on television here for a short time when I was very young, 6 or 7 I think, and at an odd time, early in the morning, before school, on weekdays. I loved them!

    1. Terry

      Aw, I hope they give the Irish a break. How about hating on the Scots or the Welsh for a while? Oh, I hear the Isle of Man is full of real annoying people. Hate the Manx for a few weeks.

    2. Redgyal

      Don't worry this is just the warm for when they decided to ban the blahs from eating there. Imagine the lines at the drive through then.

    1. GhostBuggy

      Loves it all over everything, just like those Santorum boys! Or is it "on the Santorum boys"?

  2. Billmatic

    Pretty sure I've read several sources stating that Chick-Fil-A sales are up across the board since the Facebook Crusade.

    Liberals, the lesson is never try.

    1. Crank_Tango

      They've got the guns, but we can convince them to sit in their cars for an hour on their lunchbreak waiting to get diabetes. Long game.

      1. Billmatic

        You have a good point, and I was thinking. Maybe instead of not trying we should maybe change our approach.

        Instead of boycotting Chick-Fil-A, lets all go at once and be gay all over the damn place, honey.

        LGBT groups will now meet exclusively at Chick-Fil-A.

        If you're gay and you're looking for a place to meet the person you met on OK Cupid, why, I think Chick-Fil-A would be perfect.

        And so on.

        1. actor212

          I just had an even BETTER idea than that!

          We ought to form a group and go around to major corporations using boycotts as a marketing tool!

          For instance: Coke. We go into corporate HQ in Atlanta and tell them "Look at what we did for Chick-fil-A. For a million bucks, we can create the same sympathy for you guys."

          Here's the genius: we come up with a menu of liberal causes that they can choose from, if they feel uneasy about cutting into their sales in the homosexual community: the environment, gun control…hell, we can have them take a stance FOR shark finning!

          Once we get the machine moving and raising hell, the numbnuts on the right will be pouring money into Coke's coffers. Why, we can even ask for a split on the sales premium!

          And then we turn half over to a progressive SOOPERPAC and split the rest amongst ourselves!

          1. tessiee

            Uh, yeah, split the profits amongst ourselves.
            That's the ticket.
            *tents fingertips and smiles to self*

        2. MittBorg

          This Friday, a kiss-in is planned at CFA. Details all over teh InterNetz. Take your homo hunny to CFA and do some lovin'. I'm not wild about the idea. Why give them our money? But you can certainly participate, if you want.

          1. glasspusher

            Not worth it. Ate there a couple of times when I lived in Florida. Let's organize a Wonkette SF brunch!

          2. MittBorg

            I've never eaten there.

            But I'm afraid expeditions outside my house are no longer possible for me, or at least not until my gimpy leg is a bit stronger. (Which I guess it never will be, since I never exercise it.)

          3. glasspusher

            OK, fine, no need to be subtle, we'll bring the brunch to you.Gotta exercise, my friend. I have a back injury from a couple of years ago and with a little pharmaceutical help, I'm still riding my bike and my legs are better than ever. The back it seems will not recover completely, but I try not to let it slow down the rest of me too much.It sucks getting old…

          4. MittBorg

            HAHAHA, yeah, right, climbing up my bazillion stairs. There's a *reason* we don't entertain, yaknow.

            Yeah, I know. Even the surgeon tells me that. I just got so used to being in pain that the muscles are tight and the gait is bad. But TOMORROW! Tomorrow I'm right on it.

            No shit, it sucks. I used to hike ten miles every weekend. I was supposed to be in training last year for Kilimanjaro, but for some reason no one can figure out ended up having more knee surgery instead. Anyway. Enough kvetching. Enjoy rounding up a brunch crowd, and PLEEZ take more pitchers.

          5. glasspusher

            Hey, FWIW, I live near the top of a 800 foot high hill in Oakland, and last year, back be damned, I decided I would ride up it every day. Your stairs are not a problem.The lesson here is- my back felt better after a while of exercising every day, rather than 3 long rides 3 times a week. YMMV, but you should consider that. Hasn't made things go away completely, but it does mitigate it.Even helped my cranky left knee as well. Use it or lose it! Do not go gentle into that good night, etc…

          6. MittBorg

            That's very sweet, yaknow? I want to thank you for being so encouraging. I really am touched. It has been a long, hard, and very depressing journey.

            And of course, you're right. (Hugs gp) And just because you've been so nice, and decent, and encouraging, even when I've been cranky and bitter, here's an extra hug and tomorrow I really WILL start. exercising. If your ears burn, it'll be because I'm cursing you at the top of my lungs, you've been warned.

          7. glasspusher

            No problem, my friend! Any nuggets of wisdom I can pass on to my fellow aging humans as to what has helped me as I age, I'm happy to do so. Likewise, feel free to share anything I might have missed…I tell people, I'd rather be angry than depressed!One must imagine Sisyphus happy!

          8. MittBorg

            I'm trying to discourage the habit of anger. It's another attached monster that I hope to drop off before it's time to take the long nap. But you have a point. Depression, I find, is anger turned inward. Is it better to turn it outward? I imagine anger can be a very useful motivator. Perhaps I'll let it motivate me to exercise tomorrow.

            Sisyphus must fend for himself, I fear. I'm busy being furious at the idiot Republicans and need to simmer down before bedtime.

          9. glasspusher

            My mom always told me as a kid, “channel your anger”. Maybe anger is a bad word for what I mean to describe- motivation? Drive? Not giving up? Just because you're not happy doesn't mean you can't do something about it. I suppose that depression can come from feeling powerless and angry- your “anger turned inward”? Maybe. I sometimes feel a bit angry, but rarely powerless.

          10. viennawoods13

            I hear you. I have hiked most of the Bruce Trail here in Ontario since 1999; two winters ago I did something to my already bad knee whilst snow shoeing, and despite some pain I went on a 36 k weekend hike a year ago April. That was a mistake. I have not been able to hike since, I don't know if I will ever be able to hike again. I'm trying to do my exercises regularly, but this just all sucks :(

          11. MittBorg

            Wow. I remember those long hikes so fondly. We did an equivalent 22-mile hike around Aran Island some years ago. The last good, long hike before the death of the Knee. These days, I just wish my surgeon would stop LOLing when I ask him what he thinks about my recovery. BUT. BUT. To glasspusher's credit, I DID actually exercise yesterday. I've resigned myself to knowing that I will never again feel that sweet delicious exhaustion of a long and sturdy hike. (Hugs you) Don't despair, love. The world is still beautiful.

          12. viennawoods13

            Thank you, hon. (hugs back). I was chatting last month with a guy who had a similar injury to mine, and it healed, but took 2 1/2 years. He can now go into Mountain Equipment Coop and not cry with frustration, so I'm hoping. I'm about halfway there, so I'll keep doing my exercises and keeping my fingers crossed. My sister really had our hearts set on completing the trail, but it looks like it's going to take us longer than planned. It really is beautiful

          13. MittBorg

            It is. Very beautiful. I was going to hike Kilimanjaro this year, but after the most recent surgery (last winter), it's going to take me even longer. But I'll definitely vicariously enjoy your hike if you get to do it before I get to do mine, so let me know when it happens!

    2. MittBorg

      Not correct. Their brand rating has dropped by about 40 per cent, and this is especially noticeable in the Northeastern part of the nation where they have minimal brand presence and were looking to expand. It will take a little more time, but they're on the losing side of history. Today, a NH owner of a CFA franchise announced that he was breaking with corporate policy to sponsor the Pride festival in his town and posted signs asking people not to boycott his business because he has gay employees, family, frieds, and customers. I call that progress.

      1. Billmatic

        Then maybe we can turn our attention to important things like our reliance on Chinese slave made entertainment devices.

        1. MittBorg

          It's never-ending, innit? The fight for progress. I envisioned such a different world when I was a sprout. We should have accepted Mao's offer of friendship back when it was made, in the 1940s. We chose the Peanut, instead. But we can still insist on working towards a better world.

    1. Redgyal

      This is how I feel. And I would have said it before you had I been on the Wonkette during working hours.

    1. finallyhappy

      esp. because the people who eat there are routinely fat – really fat- and ugly- so they hate the gays for being thin and fabulous

    2. Willardbot9000_V2.5

      They alternate those days with "I hate the Browns" and the old-timey favorite of wingnuts nationwide: "I hate Obama (but really all black people too)" days. I figure since most intollerant asshole wingnuts aren't what you'd call sophisticated they probably cannot hold the hatred for all those groups at once and must regiment like those little M-F pill dispensers the "young" teabaggers have.

  3. SorosBot

    And every one of those lines is in some nasty empty suburban or rural mall; no reports of crowds at any Chik-Fil-A in actual Real America, our cities.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      We get those lines in Arizona every time a fast food chain announces free super-sizing.
      'Cause the diabetes and high blood pressure are free, too. Yay!!

  4. Generation[redacted]

    We cannot out-eat them. They can withstand levels of sodium and saturated fat that is beyond our understanding.

    1. ALIVE!

      We were suckers for making that the contest. Should've gone with 'climb a flight of stairs' instead….

  5. Arkoday

    I call BS on the drive through pics. Where are the beat-up campers, the truck-nutz, the old vans with "Free Kandie" scrawled on the sides?

    1. AbandonHope

      Snark aside, the scariest hate is the hate that flies under the radar… like every single person pictured in those drive-through lines.

  6. Antispandex

    Most of this, tragically, is probably taking place in states where so many chicken rapes go unreported.

  7. Dumbedup

    The photos remind me of the sad sameness of every commercial strip in every white exurb hell in America. That these people are filling their guts with tortured chicken meat in order to spite gay people is just….something else.

  8. fartknocker

    It's still a shitty little chicken sandwich with a fucking pickle on it. If I go out for chicken, I rather eat at the locally owned restaurants that doesn't give a shit about sexuality.

  9. Allmighty_Manos

    So what's the queerest fast food place? Let's say Roy Rogers (didn't the kids in that Vouge movie like to steal food from there?)

    1. Terry

      Not sure why my reply to you was deleted as soon as I posted it. I think *someone" doesn't like Roy's as much as I do.

          1. actor212

            See those first four letters? Who has a child named something similar to that who might be a tad 'tarded?

            I meant the kid, but of course, Mom probably is too

    2. actor212

      Well, I mean, you'd have to rate Stuckey's pretty high on that list, but it all depends on what the purpose of that list is.

      TIDED: And of course, Bob's Big Boy.

    3. EatFrankRich

      I am partial to the fabulous gay Denny's in Scottsdale but for all over gay it may be Taco Cabana. Doesn't using the word Cabana make you gayer?

      1. Jukesgrrl

        There's a gay Denny's in Scottsdale? Which one? I want to check it out on my next trip to that mall where they have Crate & Barrel, West Elm, Pottery Barn and Williams Sonoma side-by-side (known in my abode as House Porn Heaven).

  10. johnnymeatworth

    On the plus side, this would be a great test for drone robot strikes in heavily populated areas.

  11. Callyson

    Meanwhile, I'm having *decent* and *healthy* food for lunch. It's great to be a liberal progressive…

    1. Isyaignert

      I'm having a pretty liberal lunch of salad greens tossed with leftover sauteeded green beans, red peppers and onion, with a scoop of cottage cheese for protein and a sprinkling of goldfish crackers for carbs and crunch. I might have a slice of cocoa apple cake too.

  12. Hammiepants

    Isn't eating this artery clogging crap part of daily life for Teabilly fucksticks? This is just an excuse to go three times a week to CFA as opposed to two, with the added incentive that you're doing it for Jesus, as god hates fags. Or something.

  13. SmutBoffin

    Let's have a moment of silence for all those brave chickens who died defending OUR FREEDOM to be intolerant assholes in the laziest way possible.

    WE SALUTE YOO CHICINS GOD BLESS THE USA NOW I WILL SING THE SONG BY CHICIN LEE GREENWOOD TO CARRY YOUR SOULS TO CHICIN JESUS

    GOD BLESS THA CHICIN USA…

    1. tessiee

      "Let's have a moment of silence for all those brave chickens who died"

      *solemnly pours Pepsi onto ground*

  14. Generation[redacted]

    Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders – The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" – but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go against a fat Southern redneck when deep fried food is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha…

    [stops suddenly, clutches chest, smile frozen on face and falls to the ground dead]

    1. bobbert

      A couple of those pictures only look a little more crowded than the average lunchtime at an In-n-Out.

        1. Jukesgrrl

          They have Bible verses on the cups there but so far I've never heard of In-n-Out donating to any organizations that would interfere with equality for all Americans.

    2. HistoriCat

      Maybe a slightly above-average day .. but yeah. You can go by the CFA on a week day at lunch time and see backed up drive-through lanes regardless of protests or other "special" days.

    3. DahBoner

      Most dumb Americans can't even make a cup of coffee, much less cook a meal.

      They eat garbage everyday…

  15. Goonemeritus

    Maybe we liberals are missing the big picture, if we could agree on who we hate as a movement we could inspire people to follow. Just spit balling here but we could have massive rallies and maybe even “spontaneous” night marches where we broke the odd window.

    1. AbandonHope

      I wonder what an appropriate analogy to their biggest hate group would be… rainbow sheets and a burning "Coexist" sign?

  16. FakaktaSouth

    My five year old came up to me today and said, "Meaghan says there's something special going on at Chic-a-lay today, can we go?" And I said "no, honey, Meaghan is a fucking moron and you are not to play with the little bigot ever again." And even my FIVE year old understood.

    1. prommie

      Nice little lesson there, I love those parenting moments, like when I got arrested while I was with my son last weekend. Speaking of which, did you listen to Street Hassle?

      1. FakaktaSouth

        How else are they going to learn how to fight the man? I didn't get thru it because of said 5yo and her 2 older henchmen and then I forgot. Hang on.

        1. prommie

          Yep, it was a great lesson in my DARE resistance education program, fucking pigs trying to teach kids to narc on their parents. And when they get to like 12 or so, kids start finding every fucking thing you hide, so you have to quash that shit. Who knows what they're likely to find in the nightstand?

          1. PsycWench

            I actually refused to let my daughter participate in DARE because I objected to spending all that instructional time in a program that has never been shown to be effective. The school let her volunteer in the school library instead. I didn't realize this secondary gain of which you speak.

          2. MittBorg

            Yes, trust me on this, not only will they *find* that shit, but they'll *use* it and, if they have a trace of that good ol' American entrepreneurial spirit, they'll fuckin' *sell* it to all their little classmates, and you'll be fielding calls for a month of Sundays from irate parents as to the exact contents of your nightstand.

      2. MittBorg

        OK, so, is there any point asking just WHY you were arrested? And hoping that everything's fine, whatever it was?

        You really are nuts, prommie. I like that about you.

        Fuckin' nutbag.

        1. prommie

          Forgive just a bit of exxageration, I was merely detained and issued a warning, for operating an un-titled and un-registered watercraft.

    2. AbandonHope

      Your five-year-old sounds utterly adorable. My five-year-old always talks about going to "Old McDonald's".

    3. PsycWench

      Before this protest became so widespread, I (unknowingly) asked my 14-year-old daughter if she wanted to go to CFA. When she was finished telling me why not, I felt a little ashamed.
      Of course this is from a founding member of the "Peace Out Cheese Doodles Obama Lovers Club".

          1. BaldarTFlagass

            Jeez, life is so full of little ironies. When you're a kid you're having to hide your stash from your parents, and when you're a parent you're having to hide your stash from your kids.

    4. fartknocker

      You made me smile. I love smart women who conjugate a coherent sentence using the phrase "fucking moron."

    5. BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Mom of the century. Seriously, well done. And all I've done all week was accidentally teach a three year old to say "what the fuck?"

  17. poorgradstudent

    I'll have to retaliate by finding a picture of a hot homophobe (yes, they exist!) to fap to.

    1. AbandonHope

      I'm sure that by "homophobe" you actually mean "self-loathing homosexual," given that the two are almost invariably one and the same.

      1. Isyaignert

        You are correct as a couple of independent scientific studies recently revealed. The more homophobic one is the more likely they're ghey and repressing it by being homophobic.

      2. Franknflower

        Classic Jungian shadow. The more you repress, the more it comes out in your subconsious shadow. Imagine the Jungian sex dungeon that must exist in there.

  18. AbandonHope

    Congratulations, conservitwats, you've managed to… eat deep-fried chicken. Please, do this weekly, or even daily. The sooner y'all shuffle off this mortal coil due to coronary artery disease, the better.

    But, in other news… of course this looks like a giant success, versus a boycott. There are no made-for-television long lines in a boycott. Plus, a lot of the folks boycotting weren't planning to eat at Jack-Chick-Fil-A anyway. So let's find a food joint — a relatively good national food joint — that explicitly supports equal rights for all, and then have everybody go eat there to support them on a specific day. I would bet money that the lines you'd see there would double or triple these.

    1. ChernobylSoup

      Not sure about fast food joints, but I say we all go to Macys, Target, Walmart, and Best Buy the day after Thanksgiving to show support for marriage equality.

      1. AbandonHope

        Target, certainly. Macy's, okay, except as a Chicagoan I'm still annoyed they absorbed Marshall Fields. Walmart… can't forgive their anti-union stances. And Best Buy is where electronics go to die when they've been bad.

    2. GhostBuggy

      It will never work. Don't you know that when liberals boycott/show support for something, it's an attack on our freedoms?

    3. MittBorg

      I think Popeye's — or is it KFC — is doing some kinda "We love everybody" promo, but I don't have details. JoeMyGod or some other queer blogger should probly have the info.

    4. swordfis

      Seriously, this is a brilliant idea. If chains, etc. got the idea that they would be CELEBRATED by acting ethically, that would be a real incentive. We really should organize "thank you"days for places like Target.

    5. tessiee

      "Jack-Chick-Fil-A"

      Winner, winner, chicken din–
      Uh, I mean that was pretty damn awesome right there.

      1. Carabella1

        I had one of those commie-pinko-socialist-athiest-gay-loving salmon avocado salads with macadamia oil and coconut vinegar. Then I worked out while watching MSNBC.

  19. BaldarTFlagass

    I bet that the handicapped spots in parking lot are all taken by the Scooter users.

    1. HistoriCat

      Real Merkans don't get out of their vehicles – that's why Jesus invented the DriveThru!

  20. Generation[redacted]

    My favorite is the drive-thru lines. These fucktards are so lazy they can't even get out of their cars to eat chikin fer freedum!

    1. Graham Cracker

      Nothing says freedum like wasting precious oil products, polluting the environment and eating greasy, over-salted chicken pieces (with a pickle, of course).

    2. tessiee

      Never mind that the drive-thru probably took about ten times as long as parking and going in, but is somehow supposed to be more "convenient".

  21. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Mmmmm mmmmmm. Nothin hits the spot like a deep fried hunk o hate! Yee haw!

    But seriously, I hope you all choke and die on your diabetus/coronary value meals with a side of cellulite. I would then offer to skullf*ck all these haters in hell, but I'm not into fatties.

  22. BaldarTFlagass

    That pic of Lindsay up top should be in the dictionary next to the definition of "self-hate."

    1. AbandonHope

      Forever is way too long for the American attention span. Gotta pursue the next news story, you know!

  23. actor212

    TBogg said it best: Bunch of people eating at Chick-fil-A today probably won't make up for a bunch of people not eating at Chick-fil-A forever.

    1. kittensdontlie

      Plot Twist: What if scientists discovered that the hormones they put in chickenfeed turns the chicken-eaters gay….Sweet–if not a somewhat greasy–Revenge!!

      1. Boojum

        I read, on the Internet, that the chicken feed for Chik-Fil-A chickens contains hormones that turn you gay if you eat the chickens!

        1. MittBorg

          There are people all over Asia, Africa, and South America who believe that. Not CFA, specifically, but that the hormones in Amercan chickens suppress testosterone production in men (turn them gay, or turn them into women).

  24. Crank_Tango

    And to think, I went to the gym and ate healthy food all day. No wait, that was yesterday.

  25. TootsStansbury

    So this eat-in is in support of a bigoted business owner expressing their religious freedom by discriminating against people the religion tells them are bad. Okay. Eat your chicken hearts out, bigots.

  26. Schmannnity

    Shouldn't Lindsey Graham be eating at one of Maurice's Flying Pig Barbecue with the confederate flag gift shop?

  27. MumbletyAvian

    If only Mike Huckabee would put down his Chik fix sandwich, and stop texting Pete Nehr about the ups and downs of weight loss, long enough to reward us with a pic testifying how well the fast food industry has piqued his physique and fleshed out his moralizing opportunities. Hey don't let Nehr have all the fun, Huck! Show us your flabs!

  28. mookwrthwilson

    Of course Lindsay (spelling it wrong on purpose) got the nuggets…he loves nuggets…big juicy nuggets…

    1. BigSkullF*ckingDog

      I'm torn between feeling pity for him and wanting to kick him in his big gay face. Oh who am I kidding? I'm not torn. Not at all.

      1. anniegetyerfun

        I can only imagine how much he must hate himself. It doesn't mean that I don't want to slap him with a pair of leather gloves.

        1. vulpes82

          He'd probably like that, though. At least if your name is Randy and you're a Corbin Fisher model.

  29. ProgressiveInga

    August 1, 2012: Bigots show up to appreciate homophobia & the Affordable Care Act brings new preventive services to 47 million women.

    I think we win this round.

  30. YouBetcha

    Ok, now Lindsey Graham is just fucking with us. One hand on the Chick-Fil-A cup, one hand on his big gay dick.

  31. badseeds

    NH sucks for a lot of reasons, but the fact that there aren't any of these scumbag franchises here ain't one of 'em.

  32. BaldarTFlagass

    A couple thousand well-placed tornados, sinkholes, locust swarms, lightning strikes, and hurricanes would send a nice message right about now, Lord.

    1. ProgressiveInga

      Yeah, but these idiots don't believe in that evolution nonsense. God created grease, dammit! Eat moar fried grease!

  33. Isyaignert

    I got to meet progressive radio star Sam Seder a couple of weeks ago near Seattle at AM1090's annual Forum. I told him that I'll never again look at a picture of or hear the name Lindsay Graham without hearing a closet door slam. That was a sound effect he used on his radio show whenever his name would come up in the news.

    What I want to know is, why is the Republican party so full of self-loathing, closeted phonies like Lindsay Graham who are working for and encouragring hatred toward themselves? It defies logic.

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      "…why is the Republican party so full of self-loathing, closeted phonies like Lindsay Graham who are working for and encouragring hatred toward themselves? It defies logic."

      Because it requires logic?

  34. Ducksworthy

    The botulism in the cole slaw was a nice touch. Counting down to explosive diarrhea 5,4,3,2…..Oh shit!

  35. Estproph

    So, it won't be long before the standard excuses start coming in, mainly: "these people were just coming out because they were told to support Chick Fil A. They don't really hate gays."

    Yes, yest they do.

    30% of the country may very well be deluded, but they're not innocent in their delusion. We share the country with scumbucket assholes, low bullies, racists, child molesters and wifebeaters. The right wing daily shows us that they are the most foul filth that humanity has ever created. We really should quit excusing them.

  36. ph7

    Mom: I waited in line for three hours today to buy a fried chicken sandwich, to teach those homos a thing or two about Christian values.

    Gay son: You sure showed them, Mom.

  37. Neoyorquino

    That's right, cram that hot meat down your throats! Finish off with a high fructose corn syrup bukkake.

  38. AbandonHope

    I really, really, really want the Westboro Baptist Church to publicly endorse this Chick-Tract-Fil-A Appreciation Day. Would take the wind out of their sails* quickly.

    *asses

  39. BlueStateLibel

    I'm gonna make a "statement" against those guys by clogging my arteries and dying decades younger than I should have – Red State logic.

  40. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    They should have hired some cattle wranglers to handle those lines. There's gonna be a stampede during the dinner rush.

  41. CapnFatowls

    "Chick-Fil-A Day" is proving so successful that other fast food companies are instigating rallies around Conservative causes:

    August 10th: Keep the illegals out! Eat authentic American Mexican at Taco Bell! Run for the border . . . before they do.

    August 21st: Long John Silvers announces new Blubber Balls,™ made from real whale! Show those environmentalists that there's no saving the planet from our hunger!

    September 5th: Ronald McDonald joins forces with fellow children's entertainer/Christian martyr Ronald William Brown for a day of divine comedy, puppetry, and witness. Don't forget to order the kiddie meal!

    1. RadioBowels

      Indeed, this is the worst marketing scam evah. A sick, sad nexus of capitalism, hate and right wing propaganda. I am utterly disgusted and ashamed of America today.

    2. IonaTrailer

      Topped only by having McDonald's as the official food* of the Olympics.

      (Hairiball cat choke noise)

  42. Isyaignert

    I hear there's going to be a counter-protest where the gheys will line up in front of the Chicken-Ass stores and kiss! Take that you h8rs.

    Not sure when it's happening but me likey!!! Love conquers hate eventually.

  43. keinsignal

    So this is what it's come to. The last bold stand of these patriotic Christians… Burning a gallon of gas waiting in line for a fried-chicken sandwich, just to prove to God and everybody how piously concerned they are with whom other people fuck.

    1. paulabflat

      because, face it, nobody wants to fuck them. not twice at least. and not for fun, either time.

  44. Franknflower

    Nothing says USA like the fatties lined up in their cars to buy processed chicken bits.

  45. Jus_Wonderin

    Hey Religious Freaks, how about rallying your troops to do something that is fucking good. Water for the homeless? Fans for the poor? Food for children in need?

    No, all of your fuckin' institutions can ONLY motivate you through hate.

  46. MittBorg

    I thought this was all part of the plan: Boycott Chik-Fil-A, make it look like a gay thing, fundie nutbags rush there and eat themselves to plaque blowouts, everybody wins. No?

  47. prommie

    I'm gonna make braised pork belly tonight, maybe in chinese plum sauce or a curry. because I hate my job.

      1. prommie

        Pork belly from the asian market, oh I can't begin to explain. Five spice, but with chipotle added? A long braise, but dry, so it also crisps the outside? there is a strange place where a southwestern chili accent can combine with umami, some miso paste, some sweet, some tequila even?

        1. MittBorg

          Dang, I missed a possibly wonderful almost realtime conversation about food and cooking. You're a creative cook! Ever use gula jawa in your cooking? It's the dark palm sugar from Indonesia/Malaysia, with a deep almost coffee note in the sweetness. Very good with a sweet/spicy pork dish to bring out dark notes.

          I make a nice babi kecap, which is pork in the sweet Indonesian soy sauce, very dark and heavy. I got too lazy to post the recipe tonight, which I was going to do, but I promise it'll be there by tomorrow. Mirin is good if you need a *light* sweet note. I don't remember if I've ever cooked with tequila. You're giving me some ideas.

          1. redarmyzombie

            I'm quite fond of Babby myself.

            Oh, wait, you meant…oh, nevermind, that sounds good too!

  48. SmutBoffin

    Hi, would it be against the commenting rules to hope that American Cyanide Wholesalers, Inc. supports "traditional marriage" as well (and that they have a drive-through, too)?

    1. bibliotequetress

      Like how you write that. Implies you have some internal projectile-shitting mechanism. Always wondered what purpose chaps served.

  49. Blunderthing

    I'm not surprised at the lines. If you can combine gluttony with racism it's a red letter day for some. If they provided a free rope for lynching, it would be perfect. I'm actually more surprised that the lines are not longer. Fucking idiots.

  50. anniegetyerfun

    There aren't any Chick-Fil-A's in Washington that I know of, but if there were, I'd go make out with a woman in front of one.

  51. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I heard that factory farm chickens are full of estrogen and eating them makes men gay. At least that's what I heard.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      I heard that, too. Here. But I heard it, and the rumor has never been confirmed or denied.

  52. widestanceromance

    Now, wouldn't this be a great day for a nationwide tainted chicken outbreak?

    Violent, crampy, sweating, hold-onto-that-towel-bar-for-dear-life ass-blast of truly and ironically biblical proportions for the lot.

  53. Local_Mojo

    This meaningless gesture ranks with voting for Bristol Pallin on that dancing show. Boy, is this rubbing the liberals' noses in it.

    Then, we remember that their PR guy died of a heart attack at 60. Loved him some sugary, greasy chicken parts.

  54. elviouslyqueer

    Dear wingtards:

    So you went to Chick-Fil-A today to proclaim that you were morally better and upstanding than them-there faggits. But really, all you did was eat a chicken sandwich, some waffle fries, and perhaps a refreshing soda. You must be so proud.

    Tell you what. How's about setting aside the same amount of money you spent on your deep-fat-fried fiesta and put it in the collection plate of your local church on Sunday. You know, the day Chick-Fil-A isn't open because it wants you to share with them the joy of praising Invisible Skydaddy and Squalling Babby Jeebus? Or even better, set aside some money for a homeless shelter, a food bank, or some other needy charity. Like Invisible Skydaddy and Squalling Babby Jeebus would want you to do.

    Oh, what's that you say? You don't go to church regularly, and when you do, your presence is enough, and you don't need to give them or any other stinking charity any more of your hard-earned dinero? Yep, I thought as much.

    Just a little food for thought, to go along with your delicious chicken combo meal.

    Regards,

    EQ

    1. Guppy

      "How's about setting aside the same amount of money you spent on your deep-fat-fried fiesta and put it in the collection plate of your local church on Sunday."

      Depends on the church in question. Don't forget Mittens gave more money to his particular church than he gave to Uncle Sam, and you know that money got spent on Prop 8 campaigns.

  55. anniegetyerfun

    Eh, the haters can have their day in the sun. They're on the wrong side of history, and 20 years from now, our kids will read about these stunts with the same disgust that we read about Orval Faubus.

    1. AbandonHope

      I wish I could have that kind of certainty, because on the other hand I can also see The Handmaid's Tale becoming a prophecy.

      1. anniegetyerfun

        I refuse to believe that life could ever be as boring as Margaret Atwood envisions.That's right, I said it.

  56. An_Outhouse

    This is awesome. Since I never even heard of Chik-whatever ( or how to pronounce it ) before this brouhaha, I think the rest of 2012 should be Chik-whatever Day. The fatties will be keeling over all over the place and the places I frequent will have even fewer assholes at them.

  57. Chet Kincaid

    The founder has his values, but Chic-Fil-A restaurants do not discriminate! The Gay water fountains in the restaurants work just as well as the Christian ones!!

  58. ph7

    Little boy: "Hey Jesus! Haven't seen you for 2,000 years. What brings you out?"

    Jesus: "Just taking my Escalade to the drive-thru, and getting some chicken, 'cause of the gays."

    Little boy: "Okay Jesus. You sticking around?"

    Jesus: "No, gotta run. Maybe I'll check in again 2,000 year from now."

  59. Misty Malarky

    Chick-Fil-A's Polynesian Suace makes an effective AND tasty anal lube – so I hear.

  60. OneYieldRegular

    Where is Dan Savage when we need him to come up with a new definition of "Chick-Fil-A"?

  61. JustPixelz

    I wonder what other businesses will try the same thing. They have to balance the loss of LGBT business against gains from the Xtians.

    Wal-mart has nothing to lose, of course.

    Islam doesn't exactly cater to non-heterosexuals, so their businesses (Halal foods, hijab shops, etc) will rake in customers.

    Planned Parenthood should do well because (except for the health screening the GO-Pee'ers ignore), they obviously have a heterosexual clientele.

    1. Isyaignert

      So true! The more homophobic one is the more likely they are ghey or at least to be aroused by homosexual porn; ergo, there are far more ghey people than are being counted if you include all of the ghey h8rs who are actually ghey.

  62. Eve8Apples

    The more cholesterol and saturated fat those hate mongers eat, the sooner they die of heart disease and diabetes complications. It is like purging the human gene pool of the stupid people. Everyday, we should encourage them to consume french fries, fried chicken and anus burgers and for good measure, smoke a couple packs of cigarettes everyday if you hate the gays.

    1. Generation[redacted]

      Sadly they reproduce repeatedly between the time they eat the sandwich and the cholesterol takes effect.

  63. rickmaci

    CluckingA if Lindsay does have that "finish taking the goddamn picture and get this piece of greasy shit off my desk" fake grin going, doesn't he?.

  64. HistoriCat

    I don't know about other areas but the Chickfilas around here have been giving free ice cream cones as a replacement for the toys which would be in the kid's meals if the Muppets hadn't pulled out. Wonder if they've managed to recoup that yet.

  65. barto

    Good old Lindsey. He's not gay, nosireebob! nicely placed photo of someone's child in the background, just in case…

  66. Fraudulently_Joe

    I decided that in dishonor of National Eat-Fast-Food-To-Show-We-Hate-the-Gays Day, I'm going to make a dinner that consists entirely of innuendo.

    So, I will be making Polish sausage and also fish tacos, with a lightly tossed salad on the side. Dessert will consist of a bananas that have been wriggled around in hot fudge.

  67. Misty Malarky

    I wonder how many closeted Chick-Fil-A employess are spitting (or worse) on the Jesus Sammiches today…

  68. glamourdammerung

    Chick Fillet serves gays? Or do they really buy Ms. Lindsey's "confirmed bachelor" story?

  69. glamourdammerung

    Also, of all the days to forget to pray for a salmonella outbreak in a fast food chain.

  70. Guppy

    Meh, I'm not going to get too bent out-of-shape over one day of really good sales. The question is whether or not they can make bank the other 365 days this year.

    It's too bad that the Cathy family hates capitalism and Jesus and doesn't let their company be publicly traded, or else we'd be able to follow the quarterly earnings reports all by ourselves.

  71. Dr. Nick Riviera

    A couple of points: 1.) I personally know someone who signed up for this on FB but is not going because we are currently out of the country. Christians lie sometimes. 2.) Most chick fil a's are in the more conservative parts of the country. We only got one in Chicago a year or so ago. and 3.) like someone said, how do you show people *not* going somewhere?

  72. finette_

    Wonketeers, please come and assault my local paper's online poll on the issue. This is my fondest wish. (Actually, as of right now everyone who's bothered to respond is anti-CFA, and those are all locals. Or, ahem, people who live here for now.)

  73. Dr. Nick Riviera

    As someone currently on a diet, I wish i could cloak my desire to eat fast food in a bow of bigotry.

  74. Angry_Marmot

    How come a "fucking moron" is acceptable in this country but "moron fucking" is right out?

  75. Carabella1

    Isn't this how Chick-Fil-A always looks at lunchtime? They just don't get the obesity-junk food connection. This was just another excuse to stuff their faces and pretend to feel good about themselves.

  76. JCE1985

    I love how wingnuts, racists, bigots, religious zealots and their apologists will come out in droves in support of something that they claim to be attacked (fried food because gheys?), and yet, here we are with the realization that the nefarious christian underbelly of corporate America still runs unabated. Opposed, but unabated.

    In-and-Out Burger, Domino's, etc.

    Check it: http://guydads.blogspot.com/2008/12/anti-gay-comp

  77. tessiee

    I sez'ed it before and I'll sez'ed it again: We should all walk into Chick-Fil-A dressed in black leather bondage gear and french-kiss each other.

    Also, we should do something to protest their being homophobic assholes.

  78. bibliotequetress

    Good lord, we could end the obesity epidemic in the US by announcing Bally's Gym is banning Muslims and Bob's Organic Tofu Hut pays women employees in Pampers and Chick tracts.

  79. ttommyunger

    Saw a clip of this Jeff Sessions "sound-alike" today. Good thing his daddy set him up selling cardboard in a stale bun. Guess what I'm trying to say is; he doesn't sound or look too bright.

  80. Willardbot9000_V2.5

    So basically "Chick Fil-A" day is just telling overweight, Type II diabetes suffering, fat, grease encrusted, scooter-jockeying and pasty bible humpers to load up on near-chicken, greasy, fat and diabetes causing fried food? How much did Dan Cathy pay Fuckabee for this? I'll wager given his position as a moral man…probably a million dollars, a dollup of coke and a rentboy to snort it off (or as it's also referred to the Lindsay Graham special).

  81. Willardbot9000_V2.5

    Chick-Fil-A is a disgusting restraunt (we don't have them in Ore-gon…eat it, bible nuts!) that serves fried chicken (that's been GMO'ed to already have lard in it) heart attack specials and they're acting like someone had to ORDER Teabaggers to go there and stuff their fat faces? It's like someone pretending they have to order neo-Nazis to go hate Jews. Could you all imagine the response if say, Trader Joe's CEO was a bigot and Fuckster ordered the scooter brigades to buy from them? That place would be a fucking ghost town.

  82. Biel_ze_Bubba

    And when this one-day fundie pig-out-for-hate is over with, they'll go back to business as usual — with fewer sales than they used to have. These ignorant goobers aren't going to make up for the loss of business.

  83. XtfrM

    That is a pretty photo of Lindsay. I would totally have a mint julip with him and maybe even stay over.

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