SAD THAT GORE VIDAL MISSED THIS  2:44 pm August 1, 2012

A Children’s Treasury of America’s Pilgrimage to Chick-Fil-A

by Jim Newell

Not enough sauce!It is here, finally: Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day, the brainchild of weekend cable television host Mike Huckabee and people who read his Facebook diaries. According to most reports, we’re seeing long fast food drive-thru lines across the nation, as Real Americans everywhere (but mostly in Real America) are rushing out of their homes to stick it to the queers and eat chicken sandwiches. Never before has the Obamacare individual mandate seemed so necessary. Let’s take a tour of some photos on the Twitter, of fast food lines.

Here’s RedState champion Erick Erickson spying on Chick-fil-A lines from the next parking lot over. Eating somewhere else, are we?

The line on Eastern Road in Warrington is tremendously long, as consumers choose not to park in the many available parking spaces and actually have to walk a few feet to get their chicken.

This Twitter person suspects that these chicken lines are not of normal length. No, these look to be “Mike Huckabee Diabetes Internet Party” lines.

Good heavens, they had to open a second line at the Fayetteville mall.

What the local news “encountered” doesn’t seem all that interesting, does it? You’re supposed to take photos of the LINE, local news. Drive-thru windows have been around for decades.

Here’s our favorite Tennessee GOP, showing the line at a location right next to the “WE BUY GOLD” shop. See, you sell your gold, then you get in the car and drive next door to get your chicken.

Do you have fascinating photos of “let’s eat fast food because we hate gay people” day to share, Wonketteers? Tips@wonkette.com, please.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 420 comments }

Maman August 1, 2012 at 2:46 pm

i hate people.

ChillBill August 1, 2012 at 3:05 pm

I like my dogs better that 95% of the people I know.

vulpes82 August 1, 2012 at 3:49 pm

That there is just plain sense.

kittensdontlie August 1, 2012 at 3:07 pm

I imagine every ChickFilA employee who is being overworked today is thinking the same thing…

AbandonHope August 1, 2012 at 3:24 pm

No shit, it's not like they're getting paid any more as a result of this. But wait, I thought hard work was the sole determiner of wealth!

vulpes82 August 1, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Especially the gay ones.

Geminisunmars August 1, 2012 at 5:07 pm

They are supplying the secret sauce.

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Oh, girl.

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Joan Rivers???? Is that you?

Barb_ August 1, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Love this tweet:
Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day was such a success, they're thinking of announcing they also hate Irish people.

prommie August 1, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Its the fucking Albanians that are the worst!

Crank_Tango August 1, 2012 at 2:56 pm

you're driving like a one-armed Albanian with crabs!

Isyaignert August 1, 2012 at 3:01 pm

You made me spew my tea. L to the O to the L!

prommie August 1, 2012 at 3:04 pm

In Albania, it is normal to love dog in this way.

CarnyTrash August 1, 2012 at 3:08 pm

I thought it was the miserable fat Belgian bastards.

SmutBoffin August 1, 2012 at 3:23 pm

HERCULE LIBEL

Limeylizzie August 1, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Tintin libel..oh wait Spielberg got there first.

Angry_Marmot August 1, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Them and their pink eyes…

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Maybe they should start a little smaller: the Jews.

Self-Uploader August 1, 2012 at 3:04 pm

No, they're fundies. They LOVE the Jews. The Jews are needed to bring on the apocalypse.

Limeylizzie August 1, 2012 at 3:40 pm

I had a Jew ,once, do that to me.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 1, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Belgians. Fucking Belgians.

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Miserable fat Belgian bastards…

CarnyTrash August 1, 2012 at 3:28 pm

I can think of nothing more derogatory than "Belgian".

Terry August 1, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Aw, I hope they give the Irish a break. How about hating on the Scots or the Welsh for a while? Oh, I hear the Isle of Man is full of real annoying people. Hate the Manx for a few weeks.

BaldarTFlagass August 1, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Talk about different, fuckers ain't got no tails!!

IonaTrailer August 1, 2012 at 3:28 pm

I'm still laughing about "Ich bin ein Polack" from yesterday.

larrykat August 1, 2012 at 4:12 pm

I've never trusted those lazy Micks.

Redgyal August 1, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Don't worry this is just the warm for when they decided to ban the blahs from eating there. Imagine the lines at the drive through then.

tessiee August 1, 2012 at 10:46 pm

I really wish they would pull that shit in South Boston.

ChillBill August 1, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Lindsay loves that special sauce, doesn't he?

GhostBuggy August 1, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Loves it all over everything, just like those Santorum boys! Or is it "on the Santorum boys"?

Not_So_Much August 1, 2012 at 4:27 pm

I was more wondering who's kids does he have pictures of, and why?

Veritas78 August 1, 2012 at 5:00 pm

They came with the frames.

rocktonsam August 1, 2012 at 11:12 pm

lindsay doesn't drink from styrafoam cups or eat that shit

vasty_derp August 1, 2012 at 11:34 pm

He's posing. He's good at posing.

iburl August 2, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Posing as a straight.

Billmatic August 1, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Pretty sure I've read several sources stating that Chick-Fil-A sales are up across the board since the Facebook Crusade.

Liberals, the lesson is never try.

Crank_Tango August 1, 2012 at 2:57 pm

They've got the guns, but we can convince them to sit in their cars for an hour on their lunchbreak waiting to get diabetes. Long game.

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Which raises the question: how many of those assholes got fired for long lunch?

Generation[redacted] August 1, 2012 at 3:03 pm

I'm sure the boss is in the car in front of them.

Callyson August 1, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Oh, how I hope the answer is AOTK…

Billmatic August 1, 2012 at 3:12 pm

You have a good point, and I was thinking. Maybe instead of not trying we should maybe change our approach.

Instead of boycotting Chick-Fil-A, lets all go at once and be gay all over the damn place, honey.

LGBT groups will now meet exclusively at Chick-Fil-A.

If you're gay and you're looking for a place to meet the person you met on OK Cupid, why, I think Chick-Fil-A would be perfect.

And so on.

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 3:21 pm

I just had an even BETTER idea than that!

We ought to form a group and go around to major corporations using boycotts as a marketing tool!

For instance: Coke. We go into corporate HQ in Atlanta and tell them "Look at what we did for Chick-fil-A. For a million bucks, we can create the same sympathy for you guys."

Here's the genius: we come up with a menu of liberal causes that they can choose from, if they feel uneasy about cutting into their sales in the homosexual community: the environment, gun control…hell, we can have them take a stance FOR shark finning!

Once we get the machine moving and raising hell, the numbnuts on the right will be pouring money into Coke's coffers. Why, we can even ask for a split on the sales premium!

And then we turn half over to a progressive SOOPERPAC and split the rest amongst ourselves!

Billmatic August 1, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Will the liberal menace ever be stopped???

AbandonHope August 1, 2012 at 3:29 pm

I love this idea. It's basically a gay sit-in.

Chet Kincaid August 1, 2012 at 3:33 pm

This would be even more effective if I kept all the money!

paulabflat August 1, 2012 at 4:05 pm

i like the way you think.

tessiee August 1, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Uh, yeah, split the profits amongst ourselves.
That's the ticket.
*tents fingertips and smiles to self*

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 4:14 pm

This Friday, a kiss-in is planned at CFA. Details all over teh InterNetz. Take your homo hunny to CFA and do some lovin'. I'm not wild about the idea. Why give them our money? But you can certainly participate, if you want.

BerkeleyBear August 1, 2012 at 4:53 pm

So many of their outlets are in malls and airports – no need to pay there.

starfanglednut August 1, 2012 at 6:46 pm

If there was one near me, I'd go glitter the fuck out of it.

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 8:37 pm

I would go with you and carry your glitter.

IonaTrailer August 1, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Bukowski said that. "Don't try"

Limeylizzie August 1, 2012 at 3:40 pm

But their stock has plunged.

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Not correct. Their brand rating has dropped by about 40 per cent, and this is especially noticeable in the Northeastern part of the nation where they have minimal brand presence and were looking to expand. It will take a little more time, but they're on the losing side of history. Today, a NH owner of a CFA franchise announced that he was breaking with corporate policy to sponsor the Pride festival in his town and posted signs asking people not to boycott his business because he has gay employees, family, frieds, and customers. I call that progress.

Billmatic August 1, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Then maybe we can turn our attention to important things like our reliance on Chinese slave made entertainment devices.

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 5:02 pm

It's never-ending, innit? The fight for progress. I envisioned such a different world when I was a sprout. We should have accepted Mao's offer of friendship back when it was made, in the 1940s. We chose the Peanut, instead. But we can still insist on working towards a better world.

fuflans August 1, 2012 at 4:18 pm

meh. they're losing the war and they know it.

Oblios_Cap August 1, 2012 at 2:49 pm

who cares?

Redgyal August 1, 2012 at 6:46 pm

This is how I feel. And I would have said it before you had I been on the Wonkette during working hours.

Gratuitous World August 1, 2012 at 2:50 pm

isn't everyday "i hate gay people Day" in these places?

AbandonHope August 1, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Yes, but today they're celebrating it by the communal breaking of bread…ed chicken.

finallyhappy August 1, 2012 at 3:49 pm

esp. because the people who eat there are routinely fat – really fat- and ugly- so they hate the gays for being thin and fabulous

Willardbot9000_V2.5 August 2, 2012 at 12:25 am

They alternate those days with "I hate the Browns" and the old-timey favorite of wingnuts nationwide: "I hate Obama (but really all black people too)" days. I figure since most intollerant asshole wingnuts aren't what you'd call sophisticated they probably cannot hold the hatred for all those groups at once and must regiment like those little M-F pill dispensers the "young" teabaggers have.

SorosBot August 1, 2012 at 2:50 pm

And every one of those lines is in some nasty empty suburban or rural mall; no reports of crowds at any Chik-Fil-A in actual Real America, our cities.

Jukesgrrl August 1, 2012 at 4:19 pm

We get those lines in Arizona every time a fast food chain announces free super-sizing.
'Cause the diabetes and high blood pressure are free, too. Yay!!

Generation[redacted] August 1, 2012 at 2:51 pm

We cannot out-eat them. They can withstand levels of sodium and saturated fat that is beyond our understanding.

ph7 August 1, 2012 at 2:58 pm

NEWSFLASH: GOP PROPOSES PROPORTIONAL VOTING BY WEIGHT, CLAIMS CLEAR PATH TO ROMNEY VICTORY

Nostrildamus August 1, 2012 at 3:30 pm

One fry, one vote!

tessiee August 1, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Bill co-sponsored by Chris Christie.

ALIVE! August 1, 2012 at 3:00 pm

We were suckers for making that the contest. Should've gone with 'climb a flight of stairs' instead….

paulabflat August 1, 2012 at 4:06 pm

i laughed right out loud!!

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 3:06 pm

He's right: we can't use conventional weapons against them.

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 4:09 pm

So, YOU didn't get the memo about the secret plot either. I guess it really was a secret.

prommie August 1, 2012 at 2:51 pm

I hope they choke on their hate-chicken!

ph7 August 1, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Does Lindsey Graham choking on someone else's chicken count?

Biff August 1, 2012 at 7:56 pm

Uhh..

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Dude, he said "ON."

Biff August 1, 2012 at 9:49 pm

I just wanted to insert the visual.

tessiee August 1, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Did…
you… um, just wish them to choke on cock?

Goonemeritus August 1, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Never bet against hate.

ph7 August 1, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Especially deep-fried hate.

Arkoday August 1, 2012 at 2:51 pm

I call BS on the drive through pics. Where are the beat-up campers, the truck-nutz, the old vans with "Free Kandie" scrawled on the sides?

AbandonHope August 1, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Snark aside, the scariest hate is the hate that flies under the radar… like every single person pictured in those drive-through lines.

Jukesgrrl August 1, 2012 at 4:21 pm

I agree. Especially because these very people are always pontificating about the love of Jesus.

Antispandex August 1, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Most of this, tragically, is probably taking place in states where so many chicken rapes go unreported.

Trinket August 1, 2012 at 2:51 pm

I didn't know you could get ham biscuits at Chick-fil-A.

Dumbedup August 1, 2012 at 2:53 pm

The photos remind me of the sad sameness of every commercial strip in every white exurb hell in America. That these people are filling their guts with tortured chicken meat in order to spite gay people is just….something else.

Jukesgrrl August 1, 2012 at 4:25 pm

… to spite gay people while maintaining that their Deliverance hunting camp is straight.

hunnybee August 1, 2012 at 5:37 pm

it's so them don't you think?

Jus_Wonderin August 1, 2012 at 2:53 pm

I could see things getting out of hand if they run out of Waffle Fries.

fartknocker August 1, 2012 at 2:53 pm

It's still a shitty little chicken sandwich with a fucking pickle on it. If I go out for chicken, I rather eat at the locally owned restaurants that doesn't give a shit about sexuality.

Jukesgrrl August 1, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Weren't they all demolished to make room for the new Walmart?

Allmighty_Manos August 1, 2012 at 2:53 pm

So what's the queerest fast food place? Let's say Roy Rogers (didn't the kids in that Vouge movie like to steal food from there?)

SorosBot August 1, 2012 at 3:17 pm

I don't think Roy Rogers has existed except on highway rest stops since the late 80s.

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 3:24 pm

I think it was incorporated into a bunch of Dunkin Donuts around here.

Terry August 1, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Not sure why my reply to you was deleted as soon as I posted it. I think *someone" doesn't like Roy's as much as I do.

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Did you name his horse? That's a-deletin'

Terry August 1, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Why yes I did. Fun trivia. Dale Evans' horse was named Buttermilk.

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 3:34 pm

See those first four letters? Who has a child named something similar to that who might be a tad 'tarded?

I meant the kid, but of course, Mom probably is too

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Well, I mean, you'd have to rate Stuckey's pretty high on that list, but it all depends on what the purpose of that list is.

TIDED: And of course, Bob's Big Boy.

EatFrankRich August 1, 2012 at 4:03 pm

I am partial to the fabulous gay Denny's in Scottsdale but for all over gay it may be Taco Cabana. Doesn't using the word Cabana make you gayer?

Jukesgrrl August 1, 2012 at 4:32 pm

There's a gay Denny's in Scottsdale? Which one? I want to check it out on my next trip to that mall where they have Crate & Barrel, West Elm, Pottery Barn and Williams Sonoma side-by-side (known in my abode as House Porn Heaven).

EatFrankRich August 1, 2012 at 4:43 pm

It is on Camelback Road but not the one next to your house porn outlet center. http://www.yelp.com/biz/dennys-phoenix-2

Jukesgrrl August 1, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Thanks.Yes, my house porn place is in boring North Scottsdale, so I figured it wasn't that one.

johnnymeatworth August 1, 2012 at 2:53 pm

On the plus side, this would be a great test for drone robot strikes in heavily populated areas.

ColHeightsChic August 1, 2012 at 3:17 pm

I want to hit "like" at least twice. but the stoooopid computer won't let me.

AbandonHope August 1, 2012 at 3:28 pm

With votes, of course.

Callyson August 1, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Meanwhile, I'm having *decent* and *healthy* food for lunch. It's great to be a liberal progressive…

Isyaignert August 1, 2012 at 3:34 pm

I'm having a pretty liberal lunch of salad greens tossed with leftover sauteeded green beans, red peppers and onion, with a scoop of cottage cheese for protein and a sprinkling of goldfish crackers for carbs and crunch. I might have a slice of cocoa apple cake too.

finallyhappy August 1, 2012 at 3:52 pm

I had a greek yogurt and some fruit- and this is not a euphemism

Hammiepants August 1, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Isn't eating this artery clogging crap part of daily life for Teabilly fucksticks? This is just an excuse to go three times a week to CFA as opposed to two, with the added incentive that you're doing it for Jesus, as god hates fags. Or something.

Jukesgrrl August 1, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Yes and yes. On that third day they would normally be going to Taco Bell but they're forgoing their giant chalupa for Christ.

SmutBoffin August 1, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Let's have a moment of silence for all those brave chickens who died defending OUR FREEDOM to be intolerant assholes in the laziest way possible.

WE SALUTE YOO CHICINS GOD BLESS THE USA NOW I WILL SING THE SONG BY CHICIN LEE GREENWOOD TO CARRY YOUR SOULS TO CHICIN JESUS

GOD BLESS THA CHICIN USA…

tessiee August 1, 2012 at 10:53 pm

"Let's have a moment of silence for all those brave chickens who died"

*solemnly pours Pepsi onto ground*

ProgressiveInga August 1, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Our troops can get gay-married now. Why does Chick-Fil-A hate America?

Jukesgrrl August 1, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Did you read the great story about the Air Force Tech Sergeant's wedding that appeared recently in Slate? It will wash away all your disgust about these CFA idiots because the children of these gentlemen are the real future of America. It's a rather long article, but it's heartwarming in a genuine way.
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/the_wedding/20

Zombie_Reagan August 1, 2012 at 2:55 pm

LOL, Lindsay Graham with Chic-fil-A?

My irony meter can't handle this….

Generation[redacted] August 1, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders – The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" – but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go against a fat Southern redneck when deep fried food is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha…

[stops suddenly, clutches chest, smile frozen on face and falls to the ground dead]

GhostBuggy August 1, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Do we know for sure this just isn't an average day in Fast Food 'Merica?

bobbert August 1, 2012 at 3:01 pm

A couple of those pictures only look a little more crowded than the average lunchtime at an In-n-Out.

IonaTrailer August 1, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Where they actually have GOOD food.

Jukesgrrl August 1, 2012 at 4:46 pm

They have Bible verses on the cups there but so far I've never heard of In-n-Out donating to any organizations that would interfere with equality for all Americans.

HistoriCat August 1, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Maybe a slightly above-average day .. but yeah. You can go by the CFA on a week day at lunch time and see backed up drive-through lanes regardless of protests or other "special" days.

DahBoner August 1, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Most dumb Americans can't even make a cup of coffee, much less cook a meal.

They eat garbage everyday…

Goonemeritus August 1, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Maybe we liberals are missing the big picture, if we could agree on who we hate as a movement we could inspire people to follow. Just spit balling here but we could have massive rallies and maybe even “spontaneous” night marches where we broke the odd window.

Tangled sin tax August 1, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Krystall persuasion

Crank_Tango August 1, 2012 at 3:02 pm

You know who else…no wait, I see what you did there.

AbandonHope August 1, 2012 at 3:03 pm

I wonder what an appropriate analogy to their biggest hate group would be… rainbow sheets and a burning "Coexist" sign?

IncenseDebate August 1, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Liberals suck at hate but they're really good at hackysack.

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Hey, let's all discuss this down at the local beer hall…

Chet Kincaid August 1, 2012 at 3:36 pm

You've never heard of the 1%?

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Miserable fat Belgian bastards?

BaldarTFlagass August 1, 2012 at 2:56 pm

In honor of this day, I'm going to go out and shoot a cow.

FakaktaSouth August 1, 2012 at 2:56 pm

My five year old came up to me today and said, "Meaghan says there's something special going on at Chic-a-lay today, can we go?" And I said "no, honey, Meaghan is a fucking moron and you are not to play with the little bigot ever again." And even my FIVE year old understood.

prommie August 1, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Nice little lesson there, I love those parenting moments, like when I got arrested while I was with my son last weekend. Speaking of which, did you listen to Street Hassle?

FakaktaSouth August 1, 2012 at 3:03 pm

How else are they going to learn how to fight the man? I didn't get thru it because of said 5yo and her 2 older henchmen and then I forgot. Hang on.

prommie August 1, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Yep, it was a great lesson in my DARE resistance education program, fucking pigs trying to teach kids to narc on their parents. And when they get to like 12 or so, kids start finding every fucking thing you hide, so you have to quash that shit. Who knows what they're likely to find in the nightstand?

PsycWench August 1, 2012 at 3:52 pm

I actually refused to let my daughter participate in DARE because I objected to spending all that instructional time in a program that has never been shown to be effective. The school let her volunteer in the school library instead. I didn't realize this secondary gain of which you speak.

BaldarTFlagass August 1, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Crooked cop I once knew told me that DARE stood for "Drugs Are Really Excellent."

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Yes, trust me on this, not only will they *find* that shit, but they'll *use* it and, if they have a trace of that good ol' American entrepreneurial spirit, they'll fuckin' *sell* it to all their little classmates, and you'll be fielding calls for a month of Sundays from irate parents as to the exact contents of your nightstand.

Isyaignert August 1, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Now there's a great cocktail story! Do tell…

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 4:20 pm

OK, so, is there any point asking just WHY you were arrested? And hoping that everything's fine, whatever it was?

You really are nuts, prommie. I like that about you.

Fuckin' nutbag.

prommie August 1, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Forgive just a bit of exxageration, I was merely detained and issued a warning, for operating an un-titled and un-registered watercraft.

HistoriCat August 1, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Bad boys, bad boys whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you.

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Phew! OK. Glad to hear that TPTB haven't locked up your (secretly)Commie ass.

prommie August 1, 2012 at 5:11 pm

You do not, as they say, know the half of it.

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 5:26 pm

I R all earz.

Goonemeritus August 1, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Teach them young it is never too early to shun bigots.

AbandonHope August 1, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Your five-year-old sounds utterly adorable. My five-year-old always talks about going to "Old McDonald's".

starfanglednut August 1, 2012 at 6:54 pm

That's cute.

PsycWench August 1, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Before this protest became so widespread, I (unknowingly) asked my 14-year-old daughter if she wanted to go to CFA. When she was finished telling me why not, I felt a little ashamed.
Of course this is from a founding member of the "Peace Out Cheese Doodles Obama Lovers Club".

prommie August 1, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Kids can be such annoying moral prigs. Mine keeps lecturing me about smoking.

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 3:42 pm

I know what you mean. Mine keeps hiding her stash.

BaldarTFlagass August 1, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Jeez, life is so full of little ironies. When you're a kid you're having to hide your stash from your parents, and when you're a parent you're having to hide your stash from your kids.

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Jesus! It's enough to drive a person to smoke!

The younger kid thought it was ever so cute to dump our ciggies in the terlet.

Jukesgrrl August 1, 2012 at 4:50 pm

The Peace Out Cheese Doodles Obama Lovers Club? Give that girl a big kiss from me.

hunnybee August 1, 2012 at 5:48 pm

and from me too! love that child!!!♥♥♥

fartknocker August 1, 2012 at 3:08 pm

You made me smile. I love smart women who conjugate a coherent sentence using the phrase "fucking moron."

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 3:09 pm

I would have gone one better:

"Honey, you don't want to eat that Chick-fil-A. They use puppies in their sandwiches."

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 1, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Mom of the century. Seriously, well done. And all I've done all week was accidentally teach a three year old to say "what the fuck?"

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Bristol Palin? Is that you?

Mittens Howell, III August 1, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Jesus is watching.

GhostBuggy August 1, 2012 at 4:20 pm

What a perv.

finallyhappy August 1, 2012 at 3:53 pm

shit- beat me to it!!!

hunnybee August 1, 2012 at 5:50 pm

heehee…not bad. not bad at all.

Mittens Howell, III August 1, 2012 at 3:36 pm

You are my parenting hero!

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Have I, like, seriously loved on you lately? Because if not, you know, just SMOOOCH!!

That is all.

poorgradstudent August 1, 2012 at 2:56 pm

I'll have to retaliate by finding a picture of a hot homophobe (yes, they exist!) to fap to.

AbandonHope August 1, 2012 at 2:58 pm

I'm sure that by "homophobe" you actually mean "self-loathing homosexual," given that the two are almost invariably one and the same.

Isyaignert August 1, 2012 at 3:19 pm

You are correct as a couple of independent scientific studies recently revealed. The more homophobic one is the more likely they're ghey and repressing it by being homophobic.

Franknflower August 1, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Classic Jungian shadow. The more you repress, the more it comes out in your subconsious shadow. Imagine the Jungian sex dungeon that must exist in there.

Jukesgrrl August 1, 2012 at 4:52 pm

What's that say about Representatives Kelly and King? Whew! On second thought, the possibilities are too disgusting to think about.

prommie August 1, 2012 at 2:59 pm

YAY! Bate Rape for the WIN! Thats the perfect counter-protest.

poorgradstudent August 1, 2012 at 4:21 pm

And the Wonkette commenters give me another phrase to add to my lexicon.

Exhausted66 August 1, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Janine Turner?

poorgradstudent August 1, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Wrong gender for me, but lesbians are welcome to it.

Jus_Wonderin August 1, 2012 at 2:56 pm

I am certain Jesus is sooooo happy today.

ChillBill August 1, 2012 at 2:57 pm

"Thank you for making me even richer, suckers!"

–Dan Cathy

Arkoday August 1, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Thay are branching off to Canada, opening "Dick-Fill, Eh?" franchises.

AbandonHope August 1, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Congratulations, conservitwats, you've managed to… eat deep-fried chicken. Please, do this weekly, or even daily. The sooner y'all shuffle off this mortal coil due to coronary artery disease, the better.

But, in other news… of course this looks like a giant success, versus a boycott. There are no made-for-television long lines in a boycott. Plus, a lot of the folks boycotting weren't planning to eat at Jack-Chick-Fil-A anyway. So let's find a food joint — a relatively good national food joint — that explicitly supports equal rights for all, and then have everybody go eat there to support them on a specific day. I would bet money that the lines you'd see there would double or triple these.

ChernobylSoup August 1, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Not sure about fast food joints, but I say we all go to Macys, Target, Walmart, and Best Buy the day after Thanksgiving to show support for marriage equality.

AbandonHope August 1, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Target, certainly. Macy's, okay, except as a Chicagoan I'm still annoyed they absorbed Marshall Fields. Walmart… can't forgive their anti-union stances. And Best Buy is where electronics go to die when they've been bad.

GhostBuggy August 1, 2012 at 4:24 pm

It will never work. Don't you know that when liberals boycott/show support for something, it's an attack on our freedoms?

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 4:41 pm

I think Popeye's — or is it KFC — is doing some kinda "We love everybody" promo, but I don't have details. JoeMyGod or some other queer blogger should probly have the info.

hunnybee August 1, 2012 at 5:54 pm

prolly Popeyes….i like their peach tea.

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 6:05 pm

I've never eaten there, so I must, if it's them. I'll go find out.

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Turns out it's Col. Sanders after all. I like that they flat-out said, we love gay people, tho.

swordfis August 1, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Seriously, this is a brilliant idea. If chains, etc. got the idea that they would be CELEBRATED by acting ethically, that would be a real incentive. We really should organize "thank you"days for places like Target.

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Colonel Sanders has just announced that they love teh Ghey, so if you and anyone you know want to do something about it, you know where to go.

tessiee August 2, 2012 at 12:55 am

"Jack-Chick-Fil-A"

Winner, winner, chicken din–
Uh, I mean that was pretty damn awesome right there.

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 2:58 pm

In honor of Chick-fil-A day, I had a bacon cheeseburger for lunch.

And two gay beers.

Baconzgood August 1, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Did someone say bacon?

GhostBuggy August 1, 2012 at 4:40 pm

I had a turkey sandwich. Not sure where that puts me, politically.

Carabella1 August 1, 2012 at 5:39 pm

I had one of those commie-pinko-socialist-athiest-gay-loving salmon avocado salads with macadamia oil and coconut vinegar. Then I worked out while watching MSNBC.

GhostBuggy August 2, 2012 at 10:21 am

You monster!

BaldarTFlagass August 1, 2012 at 2:58 pm

I bet that the handicapped spots in parking lot are all taken by the Scooter users.

HistoriCat August 1, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Real Merkans don't get out of their vehicles – that's why Jesus invented the DriveThru!

Generation[redacted] August 1, 2012 at 2:58 pm

My favorite is the drive-thru lines. These fucktards are so lazy they can't even get out of their cars to eat chikin fer freedum!

Graham Cracker August 1, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Nothing says freedum like wasting precious oil products, polluting the environment and eating greasy, over-salted chicken pieces (with a pickle, of course).

tessiee August 2, 2012 at 12:57 am

Never mind that the drive-thru probably took about ten times as long as parking and going in, but is somehow supposed to be more "convenient".

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 1, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Mmmmm mmmmmm. Nothin hits the spot like a deep fried hunk o hate! Yee haw!

But seriously, I hope you all choke and die on your diabetus/coronary value meals with a side of cellulite. I would then offer to skullf*ck all these haters in hell, but I'm not into fatties.

BaldarTFlagass August 1, 2012 at 2:59 pm

That pic of Lindsay up top should be in the dictionary next to the definition of "self-hate."

Jus_Wonderin August 1, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Auto-Fil-A-cio

Boojum August 1, 2012 at 4:19 pm

I wish I could hate myself.

Graham Cracker August 1, 2012 at 4:11 pm

I hate myself

Jukesgrrl August 1, 2012 at 4:58 pm

I see what you did there.

veritass August 1, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Your Chick-Fil-A "Appreciation Day" lasts 1 day. My boycott lasts forever.

AbandonHope August 1, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Forever is way too long for the American attention span. Gotta pursue the next news story, you know!

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 3:00 pm

TBogg said it best: Bunch of people eating at Chick-fil-A today probably won't make up for a bunch of people not eating at Chick-fil-A forever.

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Wow, talk about fortuitous timing with veritass…

hunnybee August 1, 2012 at 5:55 pm

thanks Antor212. like the sentiment.

Blueb4sinrise August 1, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Eat the gay away at Chick-fil-A

[hasn't someone already said that?]

BornInATrailer August 1, 2012 at 3:08 pm

I hope so because that's fantastic.

Blueb4sinrise August 1, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Aww shucks.

kittensdontlie August 1, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Plot Twist: What if scientists discovered that the hormones they put in chickenfeed turns the chicken-eaters gay….Sweet–if not a somewhat greasy–Revenge!!

Boojum August 1, 2012 at 4:22 pm

I read, on the Internet, that the chicken feed for Chik-Fil-A chickens contains hormones that turn you gay if you eat the chickens!

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 4:52 pm

There are people all over Asia, Africa, and South America who believe that. Not CFA, specifically, but that the hormones in Amercan chickens suppress testosterone production in men (turn them gay, or turn them into women).

Chet Kincaid August 1, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Change that to "Eat Out The Gay" and we've got a campaign!

paulabflat August 1, 2012 at 4:09 pm

not that i can see, and you were just in time because, well, it really NEEDed sayin'.

Crank_Tango August 1, 2012 at 3:00 pm

And to think, I went to the gym and ate healthy food all day. No wait, that was yesterday.

TootsStansbury August 1, 2012 at 3:00 pm

So this eat-in is in support of a bigoted business owner expressing their religious freedom by discriminating against people the religion tells them are bad. Okay. Eat your chicken hearts out, bigots.

Schmannnity August 1, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Shouldn't Lindsey Graham be eating at one of Maurice's Flying Pig Barbecue with the confederate flag gift shop?

Jus_Wonderin August 1, 2012 at 3:09 pm

That always Thursdays. When he gets his pork pulled.

succalina August 1, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Ahh, you must be from SC, too! I got out 30 years ago…..

MumbletyAvian August 1, 2012 at 3:01 pm

If only Mike Huckabee would put down his Chik fix sandwich, and stop texting Pete Nehr about the ups and downs of weight loss, long enough to reward us with a pic testifying how well the fast food industry has piqued his physique and fleshed out his moralizing opportunities. Hey don't let Nehr have all the fun, Huck! Show us your flabs!

ph7 August 1, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Thank god these people will have Obamacare to roto-rooter their arteries later.

Jukesgrrl August 1, 2012 at 5:01 pm

And they'll still be against it, even as they're using it, something the baggers on Social Security have raised to an art form.

mookwrthwilson August 1, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Of course Lindsay (spelling it wrong on purpose) got the nuggets…he loves nuggets…big juicy nuggets…

Left_Leftie August 1, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Gives new meaning to Choke the Chicken.

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 3:04 pm

EAT MOR COK

BZ1 August 1, 2012 at 3:05 pm

indigestion to all!

tessiee August 2, 2012 at 12:57 am

Miniature American flags for some!

PsycWench August 1, 2012 at 3:05 pm

I can't control what everyone else does. I'm not throwing my money at them.

anniegetyerfun August 1, 2012 at 3:06 pm

No snark, the pic of Lindsey Graham with a Chik-Fil-A bag makes me deeply sad.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 1, 2012 at 3:16 pm

I'm torn between feeling pity for him and wanting to kick him in his big gay face. Oh who am I kidding? I'm not torn. Not at all.

anniegetyerfun August 1, 2012 at 3:20 pm

I can only imagine how much he must hate himself. It doesn't mean that I don't want to slap him with a pair of leather gloves.

vulpes82 August 1, 2012 at 3:55 pm

He'd probably like that, though. At least if your name is Randy and you're a Corbin Fisher model.

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Hon, kicking his face won't do shit. Aim for the nuts.

horsedreamer_1 August 1, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Wither ham in Linds's diet?

dcjdjay August 1, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Lindsay Girleen can't wait to bite into some hot cock for the Lord.

rickmaci August 1, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Salmonella don't fail me now!

ProgressiveInga August 1, 2012 at 3:08 pm

August 1, 2012: Bigots show up to appreciate homophobia & the Affordable Care Act brings new preventive services to 47 million women.

I think we win this round.

YouBetcha August 1, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Ok, now Lindsey Graham is just fucking with us. One hand on the Chick-Fil-A cup, one hand on his big gay dick.

badseeds August 1, 2012 at 3:09 pm

NH sucks for a lot of reasons, but the fact that there aren't any of these scumbag franchises here ain't one of 'em.

anniegetyerfun August 1, 2012 at 3:26 pm

99 problems, but fried chicken sandwiches ain't one?

imissopus August 1, 2012 at 3:36 pm
IonaTrailer August 1, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Awww, that's so sweet!

badseeds August 1, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Hmm. Well, Nashua's mostly Massachusetts anyway. Also, good for that dude.

KeepFnThatChicken August 1, 2012 at 3:09 pm

THE CHICKEN IS CHOKIN'!

johnnyzhivago August 1, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Ham Biscuit Libel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Baconzgood August 1, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Uh…Eric….THAT'S A FUCKING PARKING LOT!!!!!!

BaldarTFlagass August 1, 2012 at 3:10 pm

A couple thousand well-placed tornados, sinkholes, locust swarms, lightning strikes, and hurricanes would send a nice message right about now, Lord.

Buzz Feedback August 1, 2012 at 3:10 pm

This is natural selection at work.

ProgressiveInga August 1, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Yeah, but these idiots don't believe in that evolution nonsense. God created grease, dammit! Eat moar fried grease!

Isyaignert August 1, 2012 at 3:10 pm

I got to meet progressive radio star Sam Seder a couple of weeks ago near Seattle at AM1090's annual Forum. I told him that I'll never again look at a picture of or hear the name Lindsay Graham without hearing a closet door slam. That was a sound effect he used on his radio show whenever his name would come up in the news.

What I want to know is, why is the Republican party so full of self-loathing, closeted phonies like Lindsay Graham who are working for and encouragring hatred toward themselves? It defies logic.

Jus_Wonderin August 1, 2012 at 3:16 pm

"…why is the Republican party so full of self-loathing, closeted phonies like Lindsay Graham who are working for and encouragring hatred toward themselves? It defies logic."

Because it requires logic?

Isyaignert August 1, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Bingo!

horsedreamer_1 August 1, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Money.

OhDeerMee123 August 1, 2012 at 3:10 pm

They were just jealous because Islam has their Mecca pilgrimage.

mavenmaven August 1, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Chick-Fil-A For Christ!

ChillBill August 1, 2012 at 3:11 pm

The lines the the bathroom will be twice as long.

Ducksworthy August 1, 2012 at 3:11 pm

The botulism in the cole slaw was a nice touch. Counting down to explosive diarrhea 5,4,3,2…..Oh shit!

Estproph August 1, 2012 at 3:12 pm

So, it won't be long before the standard excuses start coming in, mainly: "these people were just coming out because they were told to support Chick Fil A. They don't really hate gays."

Yes, yest they do.

30% of the country may very well be deluded, but they're not innocent in their delusion. We share the country with scumbucket assholes, low bullies, racists, child molesters and wifebeaters. The right wing daily shows us that they are the most foul filth that humanity has ever created. We really should quit excusing them.

ph7 August 1, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Mom: I waited in line for three hours today to buy a fried chicken sandwich, to teach those homos a thing or two about Christian values.

Gay son: You sure showed them, Mom.

Neoyorquino August 1, 2012 at 3:12 pm

That's right, cram that hot meat down your throats! Finish off with a high fructose corn syrup bukkake.

AbandonHope August 1, 2012 at 3:13 pm

I really, really, really want the Westboro Baptist Church to publicly endorse this Chick-Tract-Fil-A Appreciation Day. Would take the wind out of their sails* quickly.

*asses

Gratuitous World August 1, 2012 at 3:13 pm

will any of these kindred spirits be fucking in the bathrooms?
Mile Wide Club!

bobbert August 1, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Sadly, this may be lost in the stream of comments.

Chet Kincaid August 1, 2012 at 3:13 pm

"Lindsey!! How could you?!" — Ham Biscuits

bibliotequetress August 1, 2012 at 10:58 pm

yes, applause

BlueStateLibel August 1, 2012 at 3:14 pm

I'm gonna make a "statement" against those guys by clogging my arteries and dying decades younger than I should have – Red State logic.

Jukesgrrl August 1, 2012 at 5:03 pm

A personal version of taking democracy to a country by bombing it to smithereens.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 1, 2012 at 3:14 pm

They should have hired some cattle wranglers to handle those lines. There's gonna be a stampede during the dinner rush.

CapnFatowls August 1, 2012 at 3:14 pm

"Chick-Fil-A Day" is proving so successful that other fast food companies are instigating rallies around Conservative causes:

August 10th: Keep the illegals out! Eat authentic American Mexican at Taco Bell! Run for the border . . . before they do.

August 21st: Long John Silvers announces new Blubber Balls,™ made from real whale! Show those environmentalists that there's no saving the planet from our hunger!

September 5th: Ronald McDonald joins forces with fellow children's entertainer/Christian martyr Ronald William Brown for a day of divine comedy, puppetry, and witness. Don't forget to order the kiddie meal!

bobbert August 1, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Kiddie meal ftw.

CapnFatowls August 1, 2012 at 11:47 pm

The credit must be shared, comrade.

RadioBowels August 1, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Indeed, this is the worst marketing scam evah. A sick, sad nexus of capitalism, hate and right wing propaganda. I am utterly disgusted and ashamed of America today.

IonaTrailer August 1, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Topped only by having McDonald's as the official food* of the Olympics.

(Hairiball cat choke noise)

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Oh, god. The third is the BEST!

Please tell me you have a real-life gig writing for TDS, or something.

Isyaignert August 1, 2012 at 3:16 pm

I hear there's going to be a counter-protest where the gheys will line up in front of the Chicken-Ass stores and kiss! Take that you h8rs.

Not sure when it's happening but me likey!!! Love conquers hate eventually.

RadioBowels August 1, 2012 at 3:16 pm

NO ONIONS! NO GAYS!

keinsignal August 1, 2012 at 3:16 pm

So this is what it's come to. The last bold stand of these patriotic Christians… Burning a gallon of gas waiting in line for a fried-chicken sandwich, just to prove to God and everybody how piously concerned they are with whom other people fuck.

paulabflat August 1, 2012 at 4:21 pm

because, face it, nobody wants to fuck them. not twice at least. and not for fun, either time.

Franknflower August 1, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Nothing says USA like the fatties lined up in their cars to buy processed chicken bits.

Jus_Wonderin August 1, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Hey Religious Freaks, how about rallying your troops to do something that is fucking good. Water for the homeless? Fans for the poor? Food for children in need?

No, all of your fuckin' institutions can ONLY motivate you through hate.

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 3:19 pm

I thought this was all part of the plan: Boycott Chik-Fil-A, make it look like a gay thing, fundie nutbags rush there and eat themselves to plaque blowouts, everybody wins. No?

widestanceromance August 1, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Tomorrow is National Patriot Infarction Day.

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Don't they farct enough as it is?

widestanceromance August 1, 2012 at 5:19 pm

The problem is that they keep surviving, so no.

prommie August 1, 2012 at 3:19 pm

I'm gonna make braised pork belly tonight, maybe in chinese plum sauce or a curry. because I hate my job.

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 4:54 pm

With a whole star anise, maybe? Is that the "five-flower" pork belly?

Tell me more about this delicious food, prommie.

prommie August 2, 2012 at 12:36 am

Pork belly from the asian market, oh I can't begin to explain. Five spice, but with chipotle added? A long braise, but dry, so it also crisps the outside? there is a strange place where a southwestern chili accent can combine with umami, some miso paste, some sweet, some tequila even?

MittBorg August 2, 2012 at 2:30 am

Dang, I missed a possibly wonderful almost realtime conversation about food and cooking. You're a creative cook! Ever use gula jawa in your cooking? It's the dark palm sugar from Indonesia/Malaysia, with a deep almost coffee note in the sweetness. Very good with a sweet/spicy pork dish to bring out dark notes.

I make a nice babi kecap, which is pork in the sweet Indonesian soy sauce, very dark and heavy. I got too lazy to post the recipe tonight, which I was going to do, but I promise it'll be there by tomorrow. Mirin is good if you need a *light* sweet note. I don't remember if I've ever cooked with tequila. You're giving me some ideas.

redarmyzombie August 3, 2012 at 3:40 am

I'm quite fond of Babby myself.

Oh, wait, you meant…oh, nevermind, that sounds good too!

IncenseDebate August 1, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Grease is the word.

SmutBoffin August 1, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Hi, would it be against the commenting rules to hope that American Cyanide Wholesalers, Inc. supports "traditional marriage" as well (and that they have a drive-through, too)?

RadioBowels August 1, 2012 at 3:21 pm

I wouldn't take a shit at Chik-Fil-A.

bibliotequetress August 1, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Like how you write that. Implies you have some internal projectile-shitting mechanism. Always wondered what purpose chaps served.

Blunderthing August 1, 2012 at 3:22 pm

I'm not surprised at the lines. If you can combine gluttony with racism it's a red letter day for some. If they provided a free rope for lynching, it would be perfect. I'm actually more surprised that the lines are not longer. Fucking idiots.

anniegetyerfun August 1, 2012 at 3:23 pm

There aren't any Chick-Fil-A's in Washington that I know of, but if there were, I'd go make out with a woman in front of one.

Boojum August 1, 2012 at 4:27 pm

I would go watch.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 1, 2012 at 3:24 pm

I heard that factory farm chickens are full of estrogen and eating them makes men gay. At least that's what I heard.

SmutBoffin August 1, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Well, I see a number of data points in this post indicating the affirmative…

anniegetyerfun August 1, 2012 at 3:26 pm

I heard that, too. Here. But I heard it, and the rumor has never been confirmed or denied.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 1, 2012 at 3:31 pm

At the very least it gives men boobs.

IonaTrailer August 1, 2012 at 3:43 pm

moobs

AbandonHope August 1, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Man, I just read that too, and I was sure to re-tweet it.

paulabflat August 1, 2012 at 4:23 pm

it does have that ring of truthiness about it.

it SOUNDs true.

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 4:36 pm

DON'T tell them that shit. We want them to eat that crap, it's gonna pop their arteries.

SayItWithWookies August 1, 2012 at 3:24 pm

"Deep-fried hate now, deep-fried hate tomorrah, and deep-fried hate forevah!"

widestanceromance August 1, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Now, wouldn't this be a great day for a nationwide tainted chicken outbreak?

Violent, crampy, sweating, hold-onto-that-towel-bar-for-dear-life ass-blast of truly and ironically biblical proportions for the lot.

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 3:26 pm

So basically, a normal day after eating Chick-fil-A

Clancy_Pants August 1, 2012 at 3:26 pm
IonaTrailer August 1, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Sweet

HobbesEvilTwin August 1, 2012 at 3:27 pm

keep fuckin' that chick-fil-a

Local_Mojo August 1, 2012 at 3:27 pm

This meaningless gesture ranks with voting for Bristol Pallin on that dancing show. Boy, is this rubbing the liberals' noses in it.

Then, we remember that their PR guy died of a heart attack at 60. Loved him some sugary, greasy chicken parts.

elviouslyqueer August 1, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Dear wingtards:

So you went to Chick-Fil-A today to proclaim that you were morally better and upstanding than them-there faggits. But really, all you did was eat a chicken sandwich, some waffle fries, and perhaps a refreshing soda. You must be so proud.

Tell you what. How's about setting aside the same amount of money you spent on your deep-fat-fried fiesta and put it in the collection plate of your local church on Sunday. You know, the day Chick-Fil-A isn't open because it wants you to share with them the joy of praising Invisible Skydaddy and Squalling Babby Jeebus? Or even better, set aside some money for a homeless shelter, a food bank, or some other needy charity. Like Invisible Skydaddy and Squalling Babby Jeebus would want you to do.

Oh, what's that you say? You don't go to church regularly, and when you do, your presence is enough, and you don't need to give them or any other stinking charity any more of your hard-earned dinero? Yep, I thought as much.

Just a little food for thought, to go along with your delicious chicken combo meal.

Regards,

EQ

Guppy August 1, 2012 at 4:26 pm

"How's about setting aside the same amount of money you spent on your deep-fat-fried fiesta and put it in the collection plate of your local church on Sunday."

Depends on the church in question. Don't forget Mittens gave more money to his particular church than he gave to Uncle Sam, and you know that money got spent on Prop 8 campaigns.

anniegetyerfun August 1, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Eh, the haters can have their day in the sun. They're on the wrong side of history, and 20 years from now, our kids will read about these stunts with the same disgust that we read about Orval Faubus.

AbandonHope August 1, 2012 at 3:58 pm

I wish I could have that kind of certainty, because on the other hand I can also see The Handmaid's Tale becoming a prophecy.

anniegetyerfun August 1, 2012 at 4:14 pm

I refuse to believe that life could ever be as boring as Margaret Atwood envisions.That's right, I said it.

Jerri August 1, 2012 at 4:28 pm

And a hearty upfist to you for doing so.

Generation[redacted] August 1, 2012 at 7:32 pm

I can imagine that picture of the long line of cars in a history book.

An_Outhouse August 1, 2012 at 3:29 pm

This is awesome. Since I never even heard of Chik-whatever ( or how to pronounce it ) before this brouhaha, I think the rest of 2012 should be Chik-whatever Day. The fatties will be keeling over all over the place and the places I frequent will have even fewer assholes at them.

Chet Kincaid August 1, 2012 at 3:30 pm

The founder has his values, but Chic-Fil-A restaurants do not discriminate! The Gay water fountains in the restaurants work just as well as the Christian ones!!

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 1, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Why is the E. Coli O157H7 never around when you need it???!

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 3:37 pm

It's Chick-fil-A. How could you tell?

Baconzgood August 1, 2012 at 3:33 pm

What does that make me? I had chicken tandori from the Libyan place.

ph7 August 1, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Little boy: "Hey Jesus! Haven't seen you for 2,000 years. What brings you out?"

Jesus: "Just taking my Escalade to the drive-thru, and getting some chicken, 'cause of the gays."

Little boy: "Okay Jesus. You sticking around?"

Jesus: "No, gotta run. Maybe I'll check in again 2,000 year from now."

Misty Malarky August 1, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Chick-Fil-A's Polynesian Suace makes an effective AND tasty anal lube – so I hear.

OneYieldRegular August 1, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Where is Dan Savage when we need him to come up with a new definition of "Chick-Fil-A"?

Boojum August 1, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Trademark. Prolly a bad idea.

LetUsBray August 1, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Funny you should ask; check the end of the current column:
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid

JustPixelz August 1, 2012 at 3:37 pm

I wonder what other businesses will try the same thing. They have to balance the loss of LGBT business against gains from the Xtians.

Wal-mart has nothing to lose, of course.

Islam doesn't exactly cater to non-heterosexuals, so their businesses (Halal foods, hijab shops, etc) will rake in customers.

Planned Parenthood should do well because (except for the health screening the GO-Pee'ers ignore), they obviously have a heterosexual clientele.

Mittens Howell, III August 1, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Totally digging 'Self-Hating Closeted Homosexuals Get To Eat Chicken' day!

Isyaignert August 1, 2012 at 3:46 pm

So true! The more homophobic one is the more likely they are ghey or at least to be aroused by homosexual porn; ergo, there are far more ghey people than are being counted if you include all of the ghey h8rs who are actually ghey.

DerrickWildcat August 1, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Jesus died for your chicken sandwiches.

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 4:40 pm

They sure as fuck would kill him in a second if he tried to get between them and their chicken sammidges.

Mittens Howell, III August 1, 2012 at 11:38 pm

Word, Bird.

Mittens Howell, III August 1, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Lindsay Graham doesn't look gay at all in that photo.

Eve8Apples August 1, 2012 at 3:40 pm

The more cholesterol and saturated fat those hate mongers eat, the sooner they die of heart disease and diabetes complications. It is like purging the human gene pool of the stupid people. Everyday, we should encourage them to consume french fries, fried chicken and anus burgers and for good measure, smoke a couple packs of cigarettes everyday if you hate the gays.

Generation[redacted] August 1, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Sadly they reproduce repeatedly between the time they eat the sandwich and the cholesterol takes effect.

IonaTrailer August 1, 2012 at 3:42 pm

White sheets all around

imissopus August 1, 2012 at 3:43 pm

WE'RE HERE! WE HATE QUEERS! GIVE US A SAMMICH!

rickmaci August 1, 2012 at 3:46 pm

CluckingA if Lindsay does have that "finish taking the goddamn picture and get this piece of greasy shit off my desk" fake grin going, doesn't he?.

HistoriCat August 1, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I don't know about other areas but the Chickfilas around here have been giving free ice cream cones as a replacement for the toys which would be in the kid's meals if the Muppets hadn't pulled out. Wonder if they've managed to recoup that yet.

Generation[redacted] August 1, 2012 at 4:03 pm

I heard they recalled the muppet toys because they were dangerously gay.

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 4:16 pm

That's about the, ha, size of it.

barto August 1, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Good old Lindsey. He's not gay, nosireebob! nicely placed photo of someone's child in the background, just in case…

Boojum August 1, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Someone's child whose last picture was on a milk carton, you mean!

Fraudulently_Joe August 1, 2012 at 4:07 pm

I decided that in dishonor of National Eat-Fast-Food-To-Show-We-Hate-the-Gays Day, I'm going to make a dinner that consists entirely of innuendo.

So, I will be making Polish sausage and also fish tacos, with a lightly tossed salad on the side. Dessert will consist of a bananas that have been wriggled around in hot fudge.

Misty Malarky August 1, 2012 at 4:11 pm

I wonder how many closeted Chick-Fil-A employess are spitting (or worse) on the Jesus Sammiches today…

glamourdammerung August 1, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Chick Fillet serves gays? Or do they really buy Ms. Lindsey's "confirmed bachelor" story?

glamourdammerung August 1, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Also, of all the days to forget to pray for a salmonella outbreak in a fast food chain.

fuflans August 1, 2012 at 4:25 pm

the only normal sized person in any of those photos is miss lindsey.

and he's not normal.

Guppy August 1, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Meh, I'm not going to get too bent out-of-shape over one day of really good sales. The question is whether or not they can make bank the other 365 days this year.

It's too bad that the Cathy family hates capitalism and Jesus and doesn't let their company be publicly traded, or else we'd be able to follow the quarterly earnings reports all by ourselves.

DahBoner August 1, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Diabetes Nation!!!!

WE ARE THE CHUBBIES WE ARE THE CHUBBIES

Dr. Nick Riviera August 1, 2012 at 4:33 pm

A couple of points: 1.) I personally know someone who signed up for this on FB but is not going because we are currently out of the country. Christians lie sometimes. 2.) Most chick fil a's are in the more conservative parts of the country. We only got one in Chicago a year or so ago. and 3.) like someone said, how do you show people *not* going somewhere?

finette_ August 1, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Wonketeers, please come and assault my local paper's online poll on the issue. This is my fondest wish. (Actually, as of right now everyone who's bothered to respond is anti-CFA, and those are all locals. Or, ahem, people who live here for now.)

Dr. Nick Riviera August 1, 2012 at 4:36 pm

As someone currently on a diet, I wish i could cloak my desire to eat fast food in a bow of bigotry.

Fraudulently_Joe August 1, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Either way, it's less gross than making the conscious decision to eat for reasons of hatred!

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Dude, I'm SO not gonna argue with that.

Gleem McShineys August 1, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Man look at these lines! My two-minutes hate is TAKING FOREVER!

Angry_Marmot August 1, 2012 at 5:08 pm

How come a "fucking moron" is acceptable in this country but "moron fucking" is right out?

Carabella1 August 1, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Isn't this how Chick-Fil-A always looks at lunchtime? They just don't get the obesity-junk food connection. This was just another excuse to stuff their faces and pretend to feel good about themselves.

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 6:04 pm

Now, was it Barry Lyndon or Tom Jones that had the Most Erotic Eating Scene Ever?

Generation[redacted] August 1, 2012 at 7:48 pm

George Castanza on Seinfeld.

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Ah don't know nuthin' about birthin' no TV babbyz, dude, you know that.

What is Seinfeld and who is George Castanza?

viennawoods13 August 1, 2012 at 9:59 pm
MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Yes, indeedy, that's just as I remember it. Delightful, warn't it?

viennawoods13 August 1, 2012 at 11:36 pm

What did we do before Youtube?

Redgyal August 1, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Peanut butter sandwich. That's all I am saying.

starfanglednut August 1, 2012 at 6:52 pm

I'll bet you do. Poof! You're a steak!

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Hey, who you callin' a poof?

Waitaminnit. My legs. Where are they? MY ARMS? OH NOES!!! AIEEEEEE!!!

Butch_Wagstaff August 1, 2012 at 7:28 pm

As a gaysexual, I fill like they really stuck it to me by eating shitty food.

JCE1985 August 1, 2012 at 8:06 pm

I love how wingnuts, racists, bigots, religious zealots and their apologists will come out in droves in support of something that they claim to be attacked (fried food because gheys?), and yet, here we are with the realization that the nefarious christian underbelly of corporate America still runs unabated. Opposed, but unabated.

In-and-Out Burger, Domino's, etc.

Check it: http://guydads.blogspot.com/2008/12/anti-gay-comp

fishwharf August 1, 2012 at 9:16 pm

This is pure marketing genius. I hope they're giving Mike Huckabee a taste.

tessiee August 1, 2012 at 10:56 pm

I sez'ed it before and I'll sez'ed it again: We should all walk into Chick-Fil-A dressed in black leather bondage gear and french-kiss each other.

Also, we should do something to protest their being homophobic assholes.

tessiee August 1, 2012 at 10:56 pm

Lowell Turpin is so supportive of Chick-Fil-A that he went there twice today.

bibliotequetress August 1, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Good lord, we could end the obesity epidemic in the US by announcing Bally's Gym is banning Muslims and Bob's Organic Tofu Hut pays women employees in Pampers and Chick tracts.

rocktonsam August 1, 2012 at 11:19 pm

did they run out of catsup/ ketchup?

ttommyunger August 1, 2012 at 11:39 pm

Saw a clip of this Jeff Sessions "sound-alike" today. Good thing his daddy set him up selling cardboard in a stale bun. Guess what I'm trying to say is; he doesn't sound or look too bright.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 August 2, 2012 at 12:29 am

So basically "Chick Fil-A" day is just telling overweight, Type II diabetes suffering, fat, grease encrusted, scooter-jockeying and pasty bible humpers to load up on near-chicken, greasy, fat and diabetes causing fried food? How much did Dan Cathy pay Fuckabee for this? I'll wager given his position as a moral man…probably a million dollars, a dollup of coke and a rentboy to snort it off (or as it's also referred to the Lindsay Graham special).

Willardbot9000_V2.5 August 2, 2012 at 12:33 am

Chick-Fil-A is a disgusting restraunt (we don't have them in Ore-gon…eat it, bible nuts!) that serves fried chicken (that's been GMO'ed to already have lard in it) heart attack specials and they're acting like someone had to ORDER Teabaggers to go there and stuff their fat faces? It's like someone pretending they have to order neo-Nazis to go hate Jews. Could you all imagine the response if say, Trader Joe's CEO was a bigot and Fuckster ordered the scooter brigades to buy from them? That place would be a fucking ghost town.

DesertTed August 2, 2012 at 3:13 am

It's the only time Conservatives will admit they put cock in their mouths.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 2, 2012 at 8:09 am

And when this one-day fundie pig-out-for-hate is over with, they'll go back to business as usual — with fewer sales than they used to have. These ignorant goobers aren't going to make up for the loss of business.

XtfrM August 2, 2012 at 8:14 am

That is a pretty photo of Lindsay. I would totally have a mint julip with him and maybe even stay over.

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Hey man, sometimes capitalism works the way its supposed to.

actor212 August 1, 2012 at 3:39 pm

I get a finder's fee.

prommie August 1, 2012 at 4:30 pm

So many victims; when are they gonna stop that guy? He killed subtlety.

Limeylizzie August 1, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Tintin was on television when I was a kid and it was fantastic, they announced it in this very cool voice 'Herges Adventures of TinTin”. I hate Spielberg's films, yes , even Schindler's List was awful and mawkish, there are far more evocative Holocaust films than that.

Limeylizzie August 1, 2012 at 4:42 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=se6vdhR1W3o They played these in the UK for years, I loved them.

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Thanks for the subversive info, undercover Operative Bear!

prommie August 1, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Those Tintin cartoons were on television here for a short time when I was very young, 6 or 7 I think, and at an odd time, early in the morning, before school, on weekdays. I loved them!

glasspusher August 1, 2012 at 8:31 pm

Are there any out here near sf?

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 8:37 pm

Don't know yet. Lemme know what you find out.

glasspusher August 1, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Not worth it. Ate there a couple of times when I lived in Florida. Let's organize a Wonkette SF brunch!

glasspusher August 1, 2012 at 9:54 pm

We've got your skinny girls…

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 9:53 pm

I've never eaten there.

But I'm afraid expeditions outside my house are no longer possible for me, or at least not until my gimpy leg is a bit stronger. (Which I guess it never will be, since I never exercise it.)

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 9:54 pm

You only do this to torment me, don't you?

glasspusher August 1, 2012 at 9:58 pm

OK, fine, no need to be subtle, we'll bring the brunch to you.Gotta exercise, my friend. I have a back injury from a couple of years ago and with a little pharmaceutical help, I'm still riding my bike and my legs are better than ever. The back it seems will not recover completely, but I try not to let it slow down the rest of me too much.It sucks getting old…

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 10:03 pm

HAHAHA, yeah, right, climbing up my bazillion stairs. There's a *reason* we don't entertain, yaknow.

Yeah, I know. Even the surgeon tells me that. I just got so used to being in pain that the muscles are tight and the gait is bad. But TOMORROW! Tomorrow I'm right on it.

No shit, it sucks. I used to hike ten miles every weekend. I was supposed to be in training last year for Kilimanjaro, but for some reason no one can figure out ended up having more knee surgery instead. Anyway. Enough kvetching. Enjoy rounding up a brunch crowd, and PLEEZ take more pitchers.

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Round ones, short ones

glasspusher August 1, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Hey, FWIW, I live near the top of a 800 foot high hill in Oakland, and last year, back be damned, I decided I would ride up it every day. Your stairs are not a problem.The lesson here is- my back felt better after a while of exercising every day, rather than 3 long rides 3 times a week. YMMV, but you should consider that. Hasn't made things go away completely, but it does mitigate it.Even helped my cranky left knee as well. Use it or lose it! Do not go gentle into that good night, etc…

viennawoods13 August 2, 2012 at 8:59 am

I hear you. I have hiked most of the Bruce Trail here in Ontario since 1999; two winters ago I did something to my already bad knee whilst snow shoeing, and despite some pain I went on a 36 k weekend hike a year ago April. That was a mistake. I have not been able to hike since, I don't know if I will ever be able to hike again. I'm trying to do my exercises regularly, but this just all sucks :(

glasspusher August 1, 2012 at 10:10 pm

No, the correct response is……Here at The Western World

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 10:26 pm

That's very sweet, yaknow? I want to thank you for being so encouraging. I really am touched. It has been a long, hard, and very depressing journey.

And of course, you're right. (Hugs gp) And just because you've been so nice, and decent, and encouraging, even when I've been cranky and bitter, here's an extra hug and tomorrow I really WILL start. exercising. If your ears burn, it'll be because I'm cursing you at the top of my lungs, you've been warned.

glasspusher August 1, 2012 at 10:35 pm

No problem, my friend! Any nuggets of wisdom I can pass on to my fellow aging humans as to what has helped me as I age, I'm happy to do so. Likewise, feel free to share anything I might have missed…I tell people, I'd rather be angry than depressed!One must imagine Sisyphus happy!

MittBorg August 1, 2012 at 10:42 pm

I'm trying to discourage the habit of anger. It's another attached monster that I hope to drop off before it's time to take the long nap. But you have a point. Depression, I find, is anger turned inward. Is it better to turn it outward? I imagine anger can be a very useful motivator. Perhaps I'll let it motivate me to exercise tomorrow.

Sisyphus must fend for himself, I fear. I'm busy being furious at the idiot Republicans and need to simmer down before bedtime.

glasspusher August 1, 2012 at 10:54 pm

My mom always told me as a kid, “channel your anger”. Maybe anger is a bad word for what I mean to describe- motivation? Drive? Not giving up? Just because you're not happy doesn't mean you can't do something about it. I suppose that depression can come from feeling powerless and angry- your “anger turned inward”? Maybe. I sometimes feel a bit angry, but rarely powerless.

Biff August 1, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Love you, darlin'

MosesInvests August 2, 2012 at 1:11 am

Knock twice, rap with your cane….

glasspusher August 2, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Good to see someone's with the program.

glasspusher August 2, 2012 at 12:38 pm

That song is a bitch to play on my guitar. C sharp minor 11, oof.

MittBorg August 3, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Wow. I remember those long hikes so fondly. We did an equivalent 22-mile hike around Aran Island some years ago. The last good, long hike before the death of the Knee. These days, I just wish my surgeon would stop LOLing when I ask him what he thinks about my recovery. BUT. BUT. To glasspusher's credit, I DID actually exercise yesterday. I've resigned myself to knowing that I will never again feel that sweet delicious exhaustion of a long and sturdy hike. (Hugs you) Don't despair, love. The world is still beautiful.

MittBorg August 3, 2012 at 1:35 pm

No, babby would work FINE with this recipe, too. If you can get it. (looks around furtively)

viennawoods13 August 3, 2012 at 11:01 pm

Thank you, hon. (hugs back). I was chatting last month with a guy who had a similar injury to mine, and it healed, but took 2 1/2 years. He can now go into Mountain Equipment Coop and not cry with frustration, so I'm hoping. I'm about halfway there, so I'll keep doing my exercises and keeping my fingers crossed. My sister really had our hearts set on completing the trail, but it looks like it's going to take us longer than planned. It really is beautiful

MittBorg August 4, 2012 at 1:36 am

It is. Very beautiful. I was going to hike Kilimanjaro this year, but after the most recent surgery (last winter), it's going to take me even longer. But I'll definitely vicariously enjoy your hike if you get to do it before I get to do mine, so let me know when it happens!

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