work it

Florida Legislator Has Hot New Body, Doesn’t Care Who Knows It

Sexxay ... AND healthyIf there’s one thing people hate about the lamestream media, it’s all the bad news. There’s so much good in the world, but the New York reporter elite just want to bring us down! That’s why when you hear “Florida” in the news, you assume the story’s going to be about gun-toting maniacs shooting unarmed victims, and when you hear “shirtless pics of Republican legislator surface on Internet,” you assume they were sent to non-wife ladies he met on the Craigslist casual encounters section. Well, turn that frown upside down! Those pictures you might have seen of Peter Nehr, a member of the Florida legislature, are nothing to be ashamed of, says Peter Nehr, but are a document of his new healthy lifestyle. Are you inspired by the majesty of of his abs? You should be!

When Nehr’s pectorals started “going viral,” he released the following statement, which is long but which we are going to blockquote in its entirety anyway because it is perfect in every way:

To all those interested in my pictures that were posted on the blogs:

I have been a diabetic for many years and like many diabetics have had problems with my weight and my blood sugar control.

The attached pictures are all originals with no photo shopping which include a before picture and after picture of my face and also a before and after picture of my body.

I went from 210 pounds to 160 pounds and from a 38 inch waistline to a 30 inch waistline. I also went from taking over a 110 units of insulin per day taking 5 shots to almost no daily insulin shots. My blood sugar went from highs of over 300 to currently from 100 to 140. This was done by proper and moderate exercise and being very careful regarding not only what I eat, but how much I eat.

I also receive Acupuncture treatments to improve my overall health. I have also been featured in an e book called “Fit over 40″ due to weight loss and have made key note speeches at FSU Medical School and other venues to audiences interested in Diabetes and Health.

I use every opportunity I can to show other Diabetics that it is possible to control and possibly reverse the effects of this terrible disease. There are over 2 million diabetics in Florida alone and if my before and after pictures can give some of them the hope of a better life even with diabetes then I am happy to have helped.

I have even included a picture that is only a week old (the one at the beach with a white shirt on) to show everyone that I am still in great shape and that it is possible not only to get into shape but stay that way long term.

I have sent these pictures to many of my friends that have been following my health and diabetes progress and they have shared them with others as well. It appears that someone who has a problem with my politics is trying to use them in a way to hurt my campaign. I am proud of what I have done to improve my health and will discuss this with anyone who wants to know how to do what I did.

If you have any further questions please do not hesitate to contact me by e mail or my cell.

We love every word of this, from opening old-manisms like “the blogs” and “photo shopped,” to the idea that someone might expect photo shopped pictures of a middle-aged state legislator to exist, to the conclusion where he basically encourages you to call or e-mail him if you want to talk more about living with diabetes, or about his dietary changes, his workout regimen, or his muscled torso. The human body is not a shameful thing, and Peter Nehr will not be shamed by his! We are going to avoid reading anything about Nehr’s political beliefs so that we can denote him Wonkette’s #1 Florida Legislator with a clear conscience.

The only bad thing about this whole affair is that the article about it informs us that “selfies” is “what the kids call taking pictures of yourself with your cell phone,” which, gross, what’s wrong with you, kids of today. Here, let’s get that bad taste out of our mouth by enjoying some more shirtless Peter Nehr action.

WORK IT

[WTSP]

About the author

Josh was born and raised in Buffalo, New York, leaving him with a love of chicken wings and a tendency to say “pop”. He taught ancient Greek and Roman history to undergraduates before fleeing from academia in terror; worked for a failed San Francisco dot-com that neglected to supply him with stock options or an Aeron chair; lived in Berlin, where he mostly ate Indian and Ethiopian food; finished in third place on his sole Jeopardy! appearance (the correct answer was “Golda Meir”); and was named 2007 Blogger of the Year by The Week, for obvious reasons. Josh is the creator/editor of COMICS CURMUDGEON (which you should read) and does geeky editing and writing about geeky things such as "the Java programming industry for JavaWorld." He lives in Baltimore with his wife Amber and his cat Hoagie.

View all articles by Josh Fruhlinger
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165 comments

        1. Chet Kincaid

          You can be sure that "Tarpon" High School's rivals in the conference have gotten very creative with their amusing couplets shouted in unison from the stands.

          1. vtxmcrider

            We have standards nonetheless. Would you like to see Chris Christie and the buttsecks in the same sentence?

          2. MittBorg

            Ohjezus you really know how to hurt a person.

            That's DAMN fuckin' cold, dude. DAMN fuckin' cold. (Fills up the vape and lights it)

    1. bobbert

      He must have got the tat after he lost the weight, so diabeetus control + midlife crisis all at once?

      1. James Michael Curley

        I often wonder what the typical, elaborate, multi-colored tramp stamp is going to look like 30 years and 175 pounds from now.

    1. MadBrahms

      Why is it that every time I read the usage examples on urbandictionary I want to move to a shack with no phone or road access? The entry for "selfies" is especially harrowing in terms of the current state of Our Youth.

      1. MittBorg

        I b'leev you have actually convinced me NOT to seek the meaning of this term. I b'leev I may have reached my ook limit for the week.

  1. Barb_

    And he likes for women who sunbathe in a bikini to send pictures back after they take the bikini off. It has nothing to do with smut. He was once diabetic and wants to show that, without that bikini, the lean white meat is the best part.

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      Barb, it could be that he wants to check others for the onset of skin cancers. That, or for ticks.

  2. anniegetyerfun

    As a fellow diabetic, I am very impressed by this guy's achievements. That's all.

    ETA: OK, that's totally not all, but I am trying to be nice today.

    1. Terry

      Yep, changing your lifestyle to the point where you've largely off insulin is a huge achievement.

      1. anniegetyerfun

        I actually did that myself, but then once I got pregnant, my stupid pancreas went on the fritz again. Hopefully once I pop this creature out, I can go back to insulin-free life. I HATE insulin.

        I never managed to get abs like this dude, though. I don't even hope for shit like that.

        1. Terry

          My father keeps his sugar at or below 100 and doesn't need a needle at all. To do this, though, he eats like a monk. Only sugar is when a granddaughter hands him something. Granddaughters are always exceptions to any rules.

          1. Terry

            A self admitted loving hard ass as a father, an absolute sweetheart of a grandfather. His justification for taking the girls someplace awesome, but off the schedule "But they enjoyed it!". lol

          2. James Michael Curley

            When you are a grandparent yourself you'll realize "off the schedule" is "quickly before I die."

          3. MittBorg

            That's wonderful. They'll have such rich memories of him to cherish. It's great to see your parents mellow into that stage of their lives.

          4. viennawoods13

            Gore Vidal: "Never have children, only grandchildren".
            Quote from a novel; not based on personal experience.

          1. anniegetyerfun

            Eh, well, I've had real diabeetuss since I was 17. It just gets a little more fucked up while knocked up, is all. Stupid fetuses and all their hormone-bringing presence.

  3. actor212

    It appears that someone who has a problem with my politics is trying to use them in a way to hurt my campaign.

    Oh yes! Because if we learned anything from the Weiner affair, it's always someone else's fault for Tweeting your naked picture from your account

  4. phlox✔

    When a mid-life crisis and health improvement collide!
    Bet he bought a new Miata as well.

          1. FakaktaSouth

            You need to mind those scarves and convertibles. Ask Isadora Duncan, that shit ain't for play.

            And STOP THAT.

  5. Baconzgood

    "If you have any further questions OR ARE A RENT BOY please do not hesitate to contact me by e mail or my cell."

    FIXED

    1. MittBorg

      That's *just* what I was thinkin', Bacon. How transparent can the little whore be, he's sending out these shots just *begging* for some hot man-on-man.

      1. HistoriCat

        What – a guy can't be proud of how he looks? Especially if he's transformed himself from the pudgy state? Fine – see if I send you guys pics once I've got myself in shape.

        1. MittBorg

          I refuse to believe you are anyone/thing but a rather plump, pampered, gray-mackerel-tabby with a very fluffy tail and an enormous belly for teh skritchies.

    1. freakishlywrong

      I'm a straight girlie and I just went full gay looking at that. Oh shit, now that's funny!

  6. mwittier

    I WAS AFRAID FOR MY LIFE!

    Wait, wrong Floridan excuse.
    He's got a little Leona Helmsley business going on in the face. And the bosom.
    Well, and the tattoo.

  7. Goonemeritus

    Good for him, now that he is healthy maybe his next area of self-improvement should be a period of introspection about the direction of his Political Party.

  8. elviouslyqueer

    You May Also Like…

    Scary Puppetteer: Tampa Bay puppetteer arrested for wanting to eat, rape, kidnap kids *Warning: Sexually explicit, graphic content and police report*

    Well, fuck. There goes the rest of my afternoon.

  9. Come here a minute

    The lovefest here is sickening. This man is saying that one should place limits on one's consumption — this is un-American! Stand up and be a patriot, by consuming mass quantities of fast food and insulin. Anus burgers forever!

  10. SorosBot

    Maybe some other Republican legislators could use this sort of explanation – "I hired those hookers to make me wear diapers so they could check on the health of my bowel movements!"

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      "I accepted that gazzillion bucks bribe to test my ability to carry large amounts of weight. Wouldn't the American public want a legislator that is fit?"

          1. viennawoods13

            Don't we all? Last night he was prancing in dressage costume with tight pants. mmmmm

  11. FakaktaSouth

    He is standing JUST like a beauty contestant in the bathing suit competition. I appreciate all the calls for dicks or getting the fuck out, but I do not think I want to see his penis. I would like to see him in a bikini and sash. That would make my day.

    1. prommie

      I don't want to see his penis, either, I am just saying dude should have the courage of his convictions. Faint heart never won fair maid and all that.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        I appreciate that you think you have to qualify your stance on looking at his junk. People just throw that "HEY LOOK AT MY DONG" nonsense out there any old time these days. Keep it special y'all, like for special occasions, birthdays and such.

          1. FakaktaSouth

            Hey, I TOLD you it was okay! I like to print em all out and line em up side by side for comparisons, and you're way at the front. Proceed.

        1. MittBorg

          Just not Mother's Day or Father's Day, please. The old folks get most uncommonly discomfited by the sight of y'all's dangly bits. You'd think they'd be used to it, seeing as how … but I digress.

  12. bureaucrap

    ummm…. barbed wire tat on left means he's a bottom. totally incompetent hair implants means he's a queeny bottom. I'm sure his boyfriend is very proud of him.

  13. Antispandex

    So, the waxing and the spray tan are just to inspire us too? That is so ….what is the word I'm looking for here?

  14. Comrade Wingtardd

    "… and like many diabetics have had problems with my weight and my blood sugar control. "

    No, it should read "I like many people who have problems with obesity, have diabetes"

  15. OhDeerMee123

    I wonder if he used to work out with Charlie Crist back in the day? Just two, muscled, sweaty hetero guys.

  16. MumbletyAvian

    Speaking of Florida. Their Education Secretary has resigned barely one year after ditching his job as Virginia's Ed Sec'.
    I'm aware Mr. Robinson has made his share of strides in leadership among school-improvement endeavors; but accountability, morale-restoring among teachers, and viable assessment imperatives are not among those accomplishments~

    1. Advn2rgirl

      He taught fifth grade for one year and apparently was an adjunct for two years but his big thing is getting public money to private and charter schools. Why am I not surprised?

  17. ElPinche

    Does a date with papa smurf come with a paper bag? There's not enough acupuncture needles on Earth for that god forsaken face.

  18. WhatTheHolyHeck

    Really. I think the guy's on the level about this. Tone-deaf, but honest.

    OH MY GOD WONKETTE I HAVE LOST MY SNARK

  19. EBGrey

    His ability to personally monitor his blood sugar level, his accupuncture treatments, his consultations with his doctors, and his access to a fitness center, these are all reasons why he and his fellow Republicans think expanding health care to millions of Americans under "Obamacare" is a terrible idea.

  20. Biel_ze_Bubba

    "Before" pic and "After" pic – OK.
    "Before" pic and 498 "After" pics in a variety of cheesy poses – not quite OK.

    Does this musclebound doofus think people can't tell the difference?

    1. BlueJoubert

      I'm just going to trust you on that one. But aren't a lot of portraits done with the subject standing?

    2. BlueJoubert

      OH WAIT! Washington had a portrait done of himself with his arms up holding a camera? Now I will have to look it up.

  21. MittBorg

    Has *anybody* bothered to count his fingers and toes? Because that is one mighty strange and boiled-looking person in them pix, and my money's on illegal alien.

  22. DahBoner

    This is the only thing I've heard a Republican say that makes a lick of sense.

    Hence, he will lose in the next primary.

    REPUBLICANS CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH

  23. widestanceromance

    His entire body is that of physical dissonance, like Jan Brewer's face. One part is indeed old, another no longer young, and the rest looking like it belongs to his grandson. The overall effect is terrifying.

    In a word, he is Frankenstud.

  24. unclejeems

    Hell, I know 60-year-olds who look better than that. (Shyly glances at own image in the mirror.)

  25. ttommyunger

    Hmmmm. Not at all gay, but I'm betting he'd hold one between his teeth 'till the swelling went down.

  26. BlueJoubert

    How can it possibly be that all repucklicans seem to have gone to the bathroom when the use of apostrophe's was taught in school? At first I thought he said he liked diabetics.

    And seriously, a tribal armband tattoo? You gotta be kidding me. If he got it in 1982 that's one thing, but it's probably a new thang. AND WHAT'S UP WITH HIS HAT?????

Comments are closed.