JUDEO-PURITAN WORK ETHIC  4:10 pm July 31, 2012

Mitt Romney Did Not Say Any of the Things You Heard Him Say

by Kris E. Benson

romney gets his shoes shinedWho ELSE can Romney offend, now that he is done insulting England, praising socialism (seriously), scheduling a $50,000 per plate fundraiser on a national day of fasting set aside to commemorate Holocaust victims, making thinly veiled anti-Semitic comments praising Israel’s “business acumen,”and basically telling Palestinians that they suck for being poor?  A Palestinian official summed up our thoughts exactly when he said, “What is this man doing here? Yesterday, he destroyed negotiations by saying Jerusalem is the capital of Israel, and today he is saying Israeli culture is more advanced than Palestinian culture.” Indeed. What IS this man doing here, and would you like to exchange him for Rick Santorum or Michele Bachmann, because we can maybe work that out for you! Anyway, you are thinking that there is no one left that he can possibly insult, but you are WRONG, there is someone, and it is you and your intelligence.

Under fire from Palestinian leaders for recent comments suggesting that Israel’s economic success is borne out of its “culture,” Mitt Romney on Tuesday attempted to clarify his remarks, telling Fox News that he had not talked about “the Palestinian culture or the decisions made in their economy.”

“I’m not speaking about it, did not speak about the Palestinian culture,” Romney told Fox’s Carl Cameron, in an interview taped before the candidate’s departure from Poland. “That’s an interesting topic that perhaps could deserve scholarly analysis but I actually didn’t address that. I certainly don’t intend to address that during my campaign. Instead I will point out that the choices a society makes have a profound impact on the economy and the vitality of that society.”

Choices like…socialized medicine? Which he seemed pretty excited about when he was in Israel? Or choices like…letting gays in the military maybe, which, as it turns out, he is also super into (so long as Poland does it or he happens to be Governor of Massachusetts).

Then there’s the small matter of coming perilously close to invoking a “Culture of Poverty” argument, which wouldn’t bode well for his Southern chances, since he seems to be explaining that it’s the South’s own damn fault they aren’t as rich and awesome as every single blue state. Or at least, it wouldn’t bode well for his Southern chances if Barack Obama were a white man.

Hopefully he will continue this winning streak when he is back in the U.S. We can’t wait.

[CBS]

 
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{ 178 comments }

Barb_ July 31, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Baron Von Moneypants can just stay wherever he is now and I won't miss him one bit.

sewollef July 31, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Otherwise known as, "The Red Baron". Or Manfred [Mitt] Albrecht Freiherr von Rmoney

kittensdontlie July 31, 2012 at 10:13 pm

London's Sun tabloid went with the standard "Mitt the Twit", which has a certain understated legant succinctness befitting for his royalhindassyness.

miss_grundy July 31, 2012 at 10:37 pm

If you don't want to hurl, please do not look at a Daily Kos article in which Jed Lewison reports on how Mittens and Anne had it so hard in the early years of their marriage. Here are a few pearls:

They were not easy years. [...]

We were happy, studying hard. Neither one of us had a job, because Mitt had enough of an investment from stock that we could sell off a little at a time. [...]

Mitt and I walked to class together, shared housekeeping, had a lot of pasta and tuna fish and learned hard lessons. [...]

We were living on the edge, not entertaining. No, I did not work. Mitt thought it was important for me to stay home with the children, and I was delighted.

Right after Mitt graduated in 1975, we had our third boy and it was about the time Mitt’s first paycheck came along. So, we were married a long time before we had any income, about five years as struggling students.

If you would like to read the rest of the article and then punch a few holes in the wall, here's the link:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/07/31/1115399/

Hammiepants July 31, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Man, he is a walking, talking GaffeMatic 2012.

Jukesgrrl July 31, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Do we have any deets about his haircuts yet? How much does he pay for that lid?

Maman July 31, 2012 at 4:14 pm

A national day of fasting? Those schmucks aren't getting squat for the 50Gs. Why hadn't Romney thought of that before?

actor212 July 31, 2012 at 4:21 pm

He was going to retroactively feed them

By the way, don't those count as illegal foreign donations? I mean, you know, Israel is thought of as the 51st state, but I was not aware they had a star on the flag yet.

Callyson July 31, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Supposedly, they are checking for US Passports.

No word on whether the sketchy types who sell fake ID's in MacArthur Park got the guest list first…

anniegetyerfun July 31, 2012 at 4:43 pm

I think all of his patrons are American citizens living/visiting abroad.

sewollef July 31, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Believe it or believe it not, Mitten's 'friends' — all good upstanding Americans — flew out to Europe to attend.

Now there's some schmucks for you.

Maman July 31, 2012 at 4:55 pm

I think that the Baby Jesus sprays the money with "Let My People Pay" dust and all is right in the universe again.

rocktonsam July 31, 2012 at 10:38 pm

do moarmans fast?

ChillBill July 31, 2012 at 4:16 pm

But he stands by those comments, whatever the fuck did or did not mean to say.

Nostrildamus July 31, 2012 at 5:21 pm

He stands by his comments, but he wouldn't have used those words.

SorosBot July 31, 2012 at 4:18 pm

"Instead I will point out that the choices a society makes have a profound impact on the economy and the vitality of that society."

Choices like being occupied with every member of that society treated at virtual prisoners within their own land, while that land keeps getting stolen by a bunch of fundamentalist nuts who want your people exterminated?

Charlie_Foxtrot July 31, 2012 at 4:23 pm

When you describe the American middle class like that, it almost sounds like we're Palestinians.

actor212 July 31, 2012 at 4:25 pm

You need to comment more often

Charlie_Foxtrot July 31, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Very kind of you. I think what I REALLY need, though, is to bury my head in the sand, whimper, and ignore the news. This commenting system is at the ragged edge of my technical abilities, also.

emmelemm July 31, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Hey, you were able to get a little avatar, and fill in your little "motto / personal description" thing-y. That's pretty darn good.

Comment more.

An_Outhouse July 31, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Another glass half empty person …

coolhandnuke July 31, 2012 at 4:18 pm

A Brit, a Jew and a Pole walk into a bar, they turn to each other, laugh, and say together "Mitt Romney what a douchebag."

Fox n Fiends July 31, 2012 at 4:51 pm

and the Palestinian bartender says "Even I'll drink to that!!"

Nostrildamus July 31, 2012 at 5:22 pm

And they all ride off together, laughing, on a dancing horse.

DustBowlBlues July 31, 2012 at 5:35 pm

A gelding.

Nothingisamiss July 31, 2012 at 6:03 pm

ftw.

Beowoof July 31, 2012 at 4:18 pm

This man is a stud when it comes to being awkward.

Mumbletypeg July 31, 2012 at 4:27 pm

The "McLovin" of Mormons. Except instead of coming across "Superbad," just, super bad.

gullywompr July 31, 2012 at 4:46 pm

The Gerald Ford of our generation.

Billmatic July 31, 2012 at 4:18 pm

This has got to be the most hilarious foreign trip by a candidate for president in the history of the country. I mean, unless Rutherford B. Hayes told Bismarck that his hat looked stupid.

actor212 July 31, 2012 at 4:22 pm

All it was missing was Mitt ordering the lobster in a kosher restaurant

Billmatic July 31, 2012 at 4:45 pm

"No lobster eh? What about pork, you people eat pork right?"

Charlie_Foxtrot July 31, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Bismarck's hat really was stupid, though. http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSZMfNHKc

AbandonHope July 31, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Thank you, I came this close to spitting my soda all over my laptop.

actor212 July 31, 2012 at 4:18 pm

In fairness, he didn't talk about the Palestinian culture.

He merely pointed, winked, and mocked silently.

WhatTheHolyHeck July 31, 2012 at 4:33 pm

You talk about the Palestinian culture in quiet rooms.

Isyaignert July 31, 2012 at 6:38 pm

More evidence that he considers himself superior. He has no idea or compassion for what the Palestenians have been through. I loathe heartless stuffed shirts, especially when driven by religion.

Didja see where Harry Reid said a Bain investor told him that Rmoney hasn't paid taxes for ten years? That's why he won't show us anything.

Baconzgood July 31, 2012 at 4:19 pm

If I was some sort of computer nerd in my computer nerd lair and not the macho love stud that I am I'd write some sort of "error/reboot" computer message snark here. But alas I'm not computer smart.

emmelemm July 31, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Yes, your disco cheerleading outfit veritably screams "Macho love stud".

Baconzgood July 31, 2012 at 4:48 pm

I'm comfortable enough with my heterosexuality that I can get away with wearing that.

Fraudulently_Joe July 31, 2012 at 4:39 pm

I was tempted to make an Abort/Retry/Fail quip, but I think that might have been more appropriate for the Arizona story.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 31, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Mitt Romney has never said any of the things that you think he has said. He has always said the things that his campaign team says he says.

That is all.

Fraudulently_Joe July 31, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Anyone who quotes the things he said last week in a fashion that makes him look bad is lying.

Billmatic July 31, 2012 at 4:42 pm

I really can hear Lionel Hutz saying this. Or should I say Miguel Sanchez?

AbandonHope July 31, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Mitt Romney has always been at war with Eastasia Eurasia Eastasia.

bobbert July 31, 2012 at 6:36 pm

And when his campaign team changes what they say he said, he has always said that retroactively. Also. Too.

le petit mort July 31, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Next up for Abu Mitt – a leisurely stroll through Al Aqsa Mosque with his muddy shoes on, followed by finger painting on the Wailing Wall.

sewollef July 31, 2012 at 4:48 pm

And as an encore, perhaps a bake off at a little outdoor camp north of Munich….

Inappropriate?

LastGasp July 31, 2012 at 4:19 pm

"Seriously, some of my best friends are Jews — even if they are going to hell."
– Mitt Romney

Baconzgood July 31, 2012 at 4:21 pm

"Don't worry once they're dead I'm gonna Baptize them Morman for ya!"

Fraudulently_Joe July 31, 2012 at 4:41 pm

I believe you mean "retroactively convert".

AbandonHope July 31, 2012 at 6:35 pm

"Don't be silly, we need the Jews. To bring about Armageddon. After which they can all burn in the fiery lakes of Hell, evil Christ-killers that they are."

bobbert July 31, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Do the Mormons have an End-Time prophecy? I thought it was just that they "save" the US (i.e., convert it to a theocracy) and it just goes on in perfection forever, with the dead (men) turning into gods of an infinity of other planets.

Estproph July 31, 2012 at 4:19 pm

And now Romney has figured out how to be on both sides of the issues that he is on both sides of.

bobbert July 31, 2012 at 6:41 pm

All your issue are surrounded by us.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 31, 2012 at 4:21 pm

As much as I am looking forward to the debates between Barack Obama and Willard Romney, I would like to see the debates between Willard and Mitt Romney more.

emmelemm July 31, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Only if it devolves into some kind of Edward Norton hitting himself Fight Club-style spectacle.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 31, 2012 at 5:18 pm

I sort of assumed it would devolve into Willard and Mitt sending teams of lawyers against each other, in an attempt to outsource each other to China.

emmelemm July 31, 2012 at 5:27 pm

So more like Stephen Colbert and "You, sir, are a formidable opponent!"? Eh, sounds dull.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 31, 2012 at 5:49 pm

We are talking about Romney…., even in a schizophrenic debate with himself, you better up the caffeine.

Eve8Apples July 31, 2012 at 4:21 pm

There hasn't been an American foreign trip as successful as Romney's since National Lampoon's European Vacation.

GuyClinch July 31, 2012 at 4:32 pm

True, but Mr. Griswold conducted himself with far more intelligence, wit and dignity.

Chichikovovich July 31, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Ann's hoping that Mitt remembered to erase the tape.

Advn2rgirl July 31, 2012 at 8:28 pm

I just keep thinking of Evita's "Rainbow Tour:"
"You'd better get out the flags and fix a parade;
Some kind of coming home in triumph is required."

littlebigdaddy August 1, 2012 at 12:10 am

I'd like to see Mittens driving on the wrong side of the road in a stickshift (requiring all shifting to be done with the left hand) navigating a roundabout. I don't think Mitt would do any better than Griswold, and probably worse. BTW, I have always wondered if the name Griswold is some Harvard smarty-pants reference to the key right to privacy case.

Mittens Howell, III July 31, 2012 at 4:21 pm

More to follow, Mitt has a secret silo of gaffes in the Cayman Islands.

Graham Cracker July 31, 2012 at 5:39 pm

It's right next to his silo of money.

Jus_Wonderin July 31, 2012 at 4:22 pm

I really am pleased that Mitt Romney took this trip to highlight his understanding of Foreign Affairs.

fartknocker July 31, 2012 at 4:22 pm

If he was to win the election, it's scary to think who this guy would pick as the Secretary of State.

Jus_Wonderin July 31, 2012 at 4:24 pm

He'd probably want to make sure she could type, though.

BaldarTFlagass July 31, 2012 at 4:25 pm

General Boykin?

SayItWithWookies July 31, 2012 at 4:44 pm

I'm not sure whether John Bolton or John Sununu would be more offensive to foreigners — but either of them could be just as bitchy and petty on purpose as Mitt is in a completely offhand way.

Jukesgrrl July 31, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Bolton was my first thought. All he has to do is up a kajillionaire donor to sponsor him and he's in.

phlox✔ July 31, 2012 at 6:12 pm

I'm holding out for Michael Bolton. Or Kid Rock.

sewollef July 31, 2012 at 4:50 pm

And they could dressage to the left or right.

Chichikovovich July 31, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Before I make a conjecture I need to clarify one thing. Is there a law that says the Secretary of State can't be at the same time the Israeli Prime Minister?

bobbert July 31, 2012 at 6:43 pm

It's more of a guideline.

Isyaignert July 31, 2012 at 6:51 pm

John Bolton.

VA_Dreaming July 31, 2012 at 4:22 pm

This is what happens when you spend your time kissing somebody's ass, instead of actually learning about their culture and situations. Romney may well be as self satisfied and arrogant as Sarah Palin.

miss_grundy July 31, 2012 at 10:53 pm

He's the male version of Sarah Palin, no, really…..

Maman July 31, 2012 at 4:23 pm

I appreciate the sheer balls of denying things that Romney has said that people have heard and in some cases recorded. He is the perfect candidate for Bizarro Amerika – just not this one.

bumfug July 31, 2012 at 4:24 pm

People in the Middle East don't understand that it's OK, in a day or two he'll say the exact opposite of what pissed them off.

BloviateMe July 31, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Romney: "I'm going to make it my personal crusade to straighten out this Palistinean situation."

sewollef July 31, 2012 at 4:52 pm

I saw what you did there, Saladin.

PuckStopsHere July 31, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Who 'ya gonna believe? Me, or your lying eyes?

Hedley_Lamarr July 31, 2012 at 4:27 pm

I know four years olds that dissemble better than this guy.

EleanorG July 31, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Romney campaign theme song: "It Wasn't Me!"

actor212 July 31, 2012 at 4:40 pm
StarsUponThars July 31, 2012 at 4:28 pm

"Ich bin ein Polack." — Mitt Romney

ph7 July 31, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Romney promises a Warsaw airlift on Day 1 of his Presidency.

BaldarTFlagass July 31, 2012 at 4:28 pm

I hope he pays a visit to Mexico next. I'm sure he won't piss anyone off there.

Generation[redacted] July 31, 2012 at 4:35 pm

"Liberals look at drug lords and say no one should live like this. I look at drug lords and say everyone should live like this."

viennawoods13 July 31, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Hey, time for a family reunion! You know, to celebrate his special understanding of the ties between Mormon fundamentalists and the Mexican people.

Caelan Aegana July 31, 2012 at 5:49 pm

"You people clearly all eat the bottoms of the muffins."

Isyaignert July 31, 2012 at 6:53 pm

It's the Motherland; what could go wrong?

DahBoner July 31, 2012 at 9:22 pm

TAKE NORTH AMERICA BACK FROM MEXICO. CANADA, ALSO

YasserArraFeck July 31, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Anyone but that Lyin' African. Save us, Mitt!!!

Goonemeritus July 31, 2012 at 4:30 pm

I consider his trip a success because England has not re-burned my home town to the ground. I mean how pissed can they have been, they have been known to sail up a river and burn a town just for fun.

Jus_Wonderin July 31, 2012 at 4:36 pm

I half expected him to say something about their teeth.

emmelemm July 31, 2012 at 4:38 pm

"Look what socialized dental care gets ya!"

sewollef July 31, 2012 at 4:54 pm

On behalf of my people, please accept our humble apologies. A bit late I know, but back then we had some, er, anger issues with colonies.

Goonemeritus July 31, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Think nothing of it how could we stay mad at you guys. On that note however could you tell that Jeremy Clarkson chap to ease up on the fat American jokes, we have feelings too you know.

rickmaci July 31, 2012 at 4:33 pm

You laugh but look what he did with this trip. He released all the pressure from the "disclosure the tax returns" balloon. Nobody in the press at home is saying boo about the tax returns anymore because it's so much fun to take shots at Twitt's faux paux of the day. A total smoke screen put up by the Gaffmaster.

Geminisunmars July 31, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Well, that does give me some reason to look forward to his return to our fair country that I didn't think about before.

Limeylizzie July 31, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Except that Harry 'He's Our Mormon' Reid just came out and said that some Bain investor just told him that Mitt hasn't paid any taxes for 10 years….

rickmaci July 31, 2012 at 5:09 pm

I am still convinced Twitt is less concerned about the fall out from not paying the IRS and more worried about his returns showing way more income than he has been reporting for calculating the amount of his tithe to Salt Lake City. After all, according to Twitt, stiffing the IRS is the national pastime but shorting on the tithe, man that's cheating Elohim.

Katydid July 31, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Because God wouldn't have access to his 1040s otherwise? i wish I had the balls to do reigion like the fundies, I swear.

IonaTrailer July 31, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Especially when his returns will reveal contributions to fetus killing organizations.

bobbert July 31, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Yup. A well-timed jab.

Isyaignert July 31, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Hi Lizzie! You beat me to it. Wow, oh wow, oh wow!

Hey Rmoney – Show us your worth certificate – the long form!

ph7 July 31, 2012 at 4:33 pm

I will point out that the choices a society makes have a profound impact on the economy and the vitality of that society.

Now that's been cleared up, let's get back to extending those Bush tax cuts.

Generation[redacted] July 31, 2012 at 4:34 pm

"I didn't say anything about Palestinian culture. How could I? As far as I'm concerned, it doesn't exist. All I said is Israel is prosperous because Jews are good with money. Now kiss my ass, shove it, and God Bless America."

YasserArraFeck July 31, 2012 at 4:34 pm

I'm surprised Der GaffeMeister didn't praise the Israelis for their work ethic, and how the work makes them free….

HogeyeGrex July 31, 2012 at 4:51 pm

I figured he'd wait until Poland for that one.

YasserArraFeck July 31, 2012 at 4:55 pm

The truly great gaffes transcend borders, languages and cultures. A "gaffe for all seasons", as it were.

IonaTrailer July 31, 2012 at 6:46 pm

My dad went to Poland and all I got was this lampshade.

BloviateMe July 31, 2012 at 4:34 pm

"If I was so ignorant and uncaring of the Palistinean situation, would I be wearing my smiling Muhammed T-shirt? Huh, smart guys?"

Typodong3 July 31, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Before returning to the United States, Mitt Romney made an unscheduled stop to North Korea, where he told them to "eat something, you're skin and bones", and suggested they may have left the water running. He then stopped off in India, where he told them he loved Pakistani dishes, and suggested they "turn on the lights." Finally he went home and everyone in the entire world hated him.

anniegetyerfun July 31, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Yesterday, he destroyed negotiations by saying Jerusalem is the capital of Israel, and today he is saying Israeli culture is more advanced than Palestinian culture.

Well, not to defend Rmoney, but I don't think any of those issues were really going well before he arrived. I mean, it's not like Israel was in the midst of allowing Jerusalem to be the capitol of a unified Palestine when Rmoney showed up and busted up the meeting or anything.

neiltheblaze July 31, 2012 at 4:38 pm

A clear case of mass aural hallucination. And it keeps happening! Weird, huh?

YasserArraFeck July 31, 2012 at 4:42 pm

the wind howling through his skull can play tricks on you….

spends2much July 31, 2012 at 4:38 pm

So Mittens wants to be both the First Mormon President and the First Insult Comic President? I'm sure I'd prefer the foreign policy of Mr Don Rickles.

Jus_Wonderin July 31, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Or Henny Youngman "Take my wives — please…..pa da dump!"

Veritas78 July 31, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Plus King of the Jews. For real, this time.

Callyson July 31, 2012 at 4:39 pm

scheduling a $50,000 per plate fundraiser on a national day of fasting set aside to commemorate Holocaust victims

Wait–this really happened? Capital WTF? Even for Mittens, capital WTF?

Jukesgrrl July 31, 2012 at 4:59 pm

That literally took my breath away. That's not even a spit-your-coffee-on-the-keyboard gaffe, that's a fall-back-in-your-chair-with-your-mouth-open gaffe.

Caelan Aegana July 31, 2012 at 5:55 pm

But think about all the money they would have otherwise wasted on actually having food.

Katydid July 31, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Look, Ramadan lasts for another two weeks…the Twit still has time to insult the Saudis, if he puts his mind to it.

DahBoner July 31, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Don't be upset. He served Kosher Pork Chops at the dinner…

RadioBowels July 31, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Imagine what he didn't say in quiet rooms.

Callyson July 31, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Maybe, per the poll at the right hand side, Mittens should hire that new CEO Marissa Mayer to return Mittens to prominence.

No, definitely not…

elviouslyqueer July 31, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Quoth Stu Stevens: "I think people understand that big elections are about big things. And I think that one thing we've learned about this race is only that which is important matters," he said. "This is not a race that has been affected by small things at all. I think it means absolutely nothing to the people at home because it has no relevance to their life. It doesn't matter."

Translation: Fuck these foreign assholes. USA! USA! USA!

bobbert July 31, 2012 at 6:48 pm

"I think people understand that big elections are about big things. And I think that one thing we've learned about this race is only that which is important matters," he said. "And what is important is that the President is a black man."

subsum July 31, 2012 at 4:45 pm

If he told Fox News he did not say what he actually said then that's what it is. Remember that Fox News is this awesome machine that has the unique ability to trransform reality into whatever fantasy you want it to be.

johnnyzhivago July 31, 2012 at 4:46 pm

"I'm really impressed with the Polish Navy's new glass bottomed aircraft carrier! It lets them see the Polish Navy's old aircraft carrier."

chascates July 31, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Billy Carter goes abroad.

Rotundo_ July 31, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Billy at least had the excuse of being perpetually shitfaced to fall back on. Mitt's strongest brew is grape juice. What is Mittens excuse?

HogeyeGrex July 31, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Y'know, I'm really happy that the Republican candidate is the biggest nitwit of an incompetent, detached from reality empty suit gasbag as may have ever graced a Presidential ticket. It does disturb me, though, that the race is somehow close. Mind boggling, even.

Isyaignert July 31, 2012 at 7:43 pm

Just wait until the debates when Mitt debates Mitt and Obama, and when the tax returns come out and show he hasn't paid anything for ten years!

mrblifil July 31, 2012 at 4:52 pm

He was probably thinking about Ron Jeremy's cock and said all that fucked up shit because he was distracted.

Fox n Fiends July 31, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Joe Biden should be charging that guy royalties for stealing his act.

Geminisunmars July 31, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Well, you must admit that he releases his gaffes at a nice steady pace. He has that going for him.

Jukesgrrl July 31, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Mitt's trip was a success for me because he cleared up an important point. By making success and failure dependent on "the choices a society makes," he's certainly let me off the hook for everything about my life that sucks. What's a grrl to do when she lives in Arizona? I may as well go back to bed.

emmelemm July 31, 2012 at 4:57 pm

First of all, don't get pregnant.

bobbert July 31, 2012 at 6:50 pm

That is, don't menstruate.

emmelemm July 31, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Touché!

SayItWithWookies July 31, 2012 at 4:57 pm

"As you come here and you see the GDP per capita for instance in Israel, which is about $21,000, and you compare that with the GDP per capita just across the areas managed by the Palestinian Authority, which is more like $10,000 per capita, you notice a dramatic, stark difference in economic vitality," he said. "And that is also between other countries that are near or next to each other."

So when Mitt said that he wasn't talking about the superiority of Israeli culture to Palestinian culture — notwithstanding that he got their GDPs completely wrong, or that Israeli and Palestinian cultures have much more in common than they have differences — he was just saying Israeli culture is innately superior in some way not meant to compare it to the one he was comparing it to?

You know — I at least thought he was smart in some way, not just a rich entitled asshole. If he won the election, he might just make Dubya look like not quite the worst president ever.

TribecaMike July 31, 2012 at 4:59 pm

I heard nothing! Nothing!

Quite literally.

spudgun July 31, 2012 at 5:00 pm

"…scholarly analysis…" Mittens wouldn't know scholarly analysis if it bit him in the ass. And I have YET to read anything analyzing why the HELL (besides fundraising) he's going global and acting like he's already mothereffin' president?!?!? I don't recall any other presidential candidate having done what he's doing.

I hate this man. Never met him, but I hate him.

viennawoods13 July 31, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Well, to be fair, Obama did a European tour- more successfully- in the summer of 2008.

spudgun July 31, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Well, then, derpity-derp to me! ;-)

(I still hate him, though…)

viennawoods13 July 31, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Totally justified. He is a consummate asshole.

Isyaignert July 31, 2012 at 8:23 pm

I hate him too. Rmoney is no Obama – people actually trust, admire and love that guy. Rmoney is a jerk-off and it shows.

BTW, I gave my BFF a spud gun and a potato for her birthday. She loved it.

Isyaignert July 31, 2012 at 8:20 pm

I was in Munich when Obama gave his speech in Berlin. I brought along an extra Obama button and gave it to the front desk clerk the the next morning. She was thrilled!!

Jukesgrrl August 1, 2012 at 1:35 am

I went to London the day after Bill Clinton was elected. When I checked into the hotel, I still had a Clinton for President pin on my coat. The Jamaican porter who took my bags to the room told me how happy he was about the election and how much he hated Maggie Thatcher. I took the pin off and gave it to him. He wouldn't take any other tip.

Butch_Wagstaff July 31, 2012 at 8:31 pm

That's okay, even the people who've met him don't actually like him: http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/the-man-withou

qwerty42 July 31, 2012 at 5:04 pm


Then there’s the small matter of coming perilously close to invoking a “Culture of Poverty” argument, which wouldn’t bode well for his Southern chances, since he seems to be explaining that it’s the South’s own damn fault they aren’t as rich and awesome as every single blue state. …

Oh, wouldn't that play well down in Dixie. OTOH, he has opened the door to this very thing …

PubOption July 31, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Add a codeword or two, and it will be seen as a rant against the blahs.

deanbooth July 31, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Reminds me of a child story. When my son was about 5 years old, I came into a room, unnoticed, where he was looking out the window. "Damn!" he said. I said, "Little Dean!" His response: "I was thinking of the river dam." Romney should be as quick.

Nostrildamus July 31, 2012 at 5:25 pm

The WP story pic, he's trying reach higher on the wall than anyone else can. Take that, ya' mid-East midgets!

Jerri July 31, 2012 at 5:30 pm

An idiot abroad.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 31, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Gaza: Behind a blockade that won't even let them import cement.
Israel: Billions in US aid.

That's one hell of a cultural difference, no question.

Isyaignert July 31, 2012 at 8:28 pm

Damn skippy it's a difference. Well said!!

Rmoney thinks if you're poor or oppressed, it's because you are not worthy. He's rich because God wants him to be. If you're not rich, it's because you suck and God hates you. Willard and Ayn Rmoney think they're American royalty.

Fuk them and the prancing sissy horse they rode in on.

TribecaMike July 31, 2012 at 5:39 pm

"…which wouldn’t bode well for his Southern chances, since he seems to be explaining that it’s the South’s own damn fault they aren’t as rich and awesome as every single blue state."

There you go assuming that all southerners are intellectually capable of grasping high fallutin' concepts. They're not all William Faulkner, ya know.

johnnymeatworth July 31, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Is he Neil Hamburger in disguise, maybe?

barto July 31, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Are there any countrieshe's flying over? Maybe he can insult them, too.

OneYieldRegular July 31, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Wait, you mean he's coming here, to the United States, and not flying directly to MittRomneyLand? What did we do to deserve this?

DustBowlBlues July 31, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Do any of these douches realize there are, or were 'till they were all killed or fled, Palestinian Christians?

DustBowlBlues July 31, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Wasn't it our dear wonkette who pointed out the q and a that Grover N. did, saying they didn't need a president, just an R congress and a puppet to sign the laws? As a way to dismiss how–christ, I'm going to have to use Thesaurus to find synonyms for stupid for this guy, just like I did Bush– this guy is a nincompoop.

Antispandex July 31, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Stop putting words in his mouth! There isn't much room there anyway, what with that foot in there and all.

DustBowlBlues July 31, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Really, I'm surprised he didn't explain that holding a $50,000 fundraising dinner was in no way being disrespectful of the Day of Fasting for Holocaust victims. He'd already honored them by personally being dunked when they were baptized into Mormons.

Whiners that they are (it's cultural–ask Rmoney), the Jews would probably fail to thank him.

Slim_Pickins July 31, 2012 at 7:58 pm

"Humour" the Brits, check
Piss off both the Israelis and Palestinians, check
Kowtow to the Poles, check.

Greatest victory tour, ever!

Butch_Wagstaff July 31, 2012 at 8:34 pm

Romney:
"I've never said what I've actually said including what I've just said."

DahBoner July 31, 2012 at 9:15 pm

"Culture of Poverty" is what a Rich man pretends to be when the Tax man comes a knockin'…

Porter Melmoth July 31, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Hey, if you had ancestors who were among the first Mormons baptized in the Ribble River of the UK's Lancashire in 1831 and emigrated to the US shortly thereafter, when Deseret was a mere pre-twinkling of the eye, and yo daddy was born in the eminent Mexican enclave of exiled polygamists, and you are firmly convinced that yes, indeed, you CAN take your accumulated with you to the awaiting universe of planets ye shall be Lord over, you'd make some throw-away, piss-ant comments to the sorry-ass peasants who are doomed to be deprived of Willardian enlightenment in the hereafter, too.

Besides, the peasants that await on said planets are gonna need all the hard cash they can scrabble from the feudalism to come. Willard shall provide. Up to a point.

littlebigdaddy August 1, 2012 at 12:14 am

When he goes overseas does he have to wear one of those cheap black suits with a plastic name tag saying "Elder Rmoney"? Cuz I was on a plane today coming back from Europe and there were shitloads of em.

ttommyunger August 1, 2012 at 8:01 am

"Just 'cause I said it, don't mean I meant it….." – Adele.

mosjef August 1, 2012 at 8:48 pm

I think he would be taken more seriously if he would give up that habit of wearing his underpants on his head.

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