DON'T FORGET POLAND  12:45 pm July 31, 2012

Success! Romney (Barely) Ends Foreign Trip Without Savage Brawl Between Campaign And Press

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Here is a Romney press secretary telling the shouty press corps assembled at the Polish Tomb of the Unknown to “shove it” and “kiss [his] ass” and “show some respect.” THEY ARE AT A HOLY SITE! (Actually, reporters, dude’s kind of got a point about that one.) They’re so cute, though! GOVERNOR ROMNEY! WHAT ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU ARE A DUMB IDIOT? GOVERNOR ROMNEY! WHY DO YOU SAY SUCH STUPID THINGS ALL THE TIME, WITH YOUR MOUTH? Even Greta Van Susteren has been a-bitchin’ and a-whinin’ about the lack of press access to Romney on his awesome world tour, kvetching that the press were being penned up like a “modified petting zoo.”

It has not been a great trip for Mitt Romney, we think? Since he started an international incident with our closest ally, and explained that Mississippi is poorer than New York because they are cultureless swine (that is what he said, right?), it has become one dumb fucking thing out of his mouth after another! Perhaps traveling press secretary Rick Gorka has had rather a rough few days of it! Eh, fuck ‘im.

But other than that, Romney camp, how was the play?

[CNN]

 
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{ 158 comments }

Barb_ July 31, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Who do those people think they are? You don't just ask questions of and about Mitt Romney.

Not_So_Much July 31, 2012 at 12:49 pm

'You people' have all the answers you're going to get about Sir Mittens of Romneyshire.

ms_mcgee August 1, 2012 at 1:58 am

Just answer yes to something, then answer no to it 45 minutes later. Done and done.

Terry July 31, 2012 at 12:50 pm

"Kiss my ass! This is a Holy site!"

That classy and respectful comment is worry of being embroidered on a pillow.

noodlesalad July 31, 2012 at 12:51 pm

I think that's what the Lord said to Moses at the burning bush. "Take off those fucking sandals and show a little goddamn respect. I am who I fucking am."

MosesInvests July 31, 2012 at 12:56 pm

ZOMG, that was funny, my friend!

Chet Kincaid July 31, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Tony Supremo.

noodlesalad July 31, 2012 at 1:23 pm

The old testament makes more sense when you think of Yahweh as a Mafioso don. You fuck with my people, you get fucked with. That's a fucking promise.

BerkeleyBear July 31, 2012 at 4:36 pm

And saying it like that makes pretty clear why the OT punisher God was preferred by most rulers who converted to Christianity. None of this "meek shall inherit the Earth" shit for them!

kittensdontlie July 31, 2012 at 12:52 pm

I would like to order two of those pillows for my sweet dear auntie.

Serolf_Divad July 31, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Funny thing: my ass is a hole-ey site, too.

Crank_Tango July 31, 2012 at 12:57 pm

I liked it better when Whitney said it.

Terry July 31, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Thank you all for ignoring my spelling there. It must have been the six bourbons I had for lunch.

Chet Kincaid July 31, 2012 at 1:19 pm

The Official Butt-Sticker for the next Wonkette meet-up!

prommie July 31, 2012 at 1:39 pm

A beautiful ass is a holy sight, and should be kissed with reverence and appreciation.

Chet Kincaid July 31, 2012 at 1:47 pm

The Ark Of The Fundament is the holiest of relics in the buttocks worship cult.

prommie July 31, 2012 at 1:49 pm

The cult of Venus Calypygos!

Chet Kincaid July 31, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Ah, the serenity and harmony of Assical Sculpture!

Angry_Marmot July 31, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Sacral dimples FTW.

annettaj July 31, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Nobody knocked up a waitress. Ran over small children. Played drunken strip poker that ended up on YOUTUBE or insulted two countries and cussed out people in a designated
holy site. Romney Win!!!!

Tundra Grifter July 31, 2012 at 12:53 pm

It will be another few months before we can confirm what you wrote about the waitress.

MosesInvests July 31, 2012 at 1:04 pm

But I thought the pregnancy starts two weeks *before* she gets knocked up!

noodlesalad July 31, 2012 at 12:50 pm

I think this Romney trip caused the earth to collectively tighten its sphincter.

"Surely, the Americans can't be doing THIS again, can they? Don't they have any sort of memory at all?"

Isyaignert July 31, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Americans have very short, selective memories and are becoming dumber than litter box thanks to Fux News and the Orwellian news media. The smart people have been locked in a room with the fumducks for far too long.

Thank gawd for Wonkette and The Daily Show for sharing the important truths with a healthy dose of humor. Carry on!!

annettaj July 31, 2012 at 1:02 pm

I can't speak for all the Americans who have amnesia. But I know my ass is a bit tighter after Mitt's foreign fallacy–errr policy tour.

BlackRhino July 31, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Mitt to his aides; “That was successful, let’s go home”

anniegetyerfun July 31, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Maybe Mormons have a different concept of "holy" than I do?

ph7 July 31, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Holy as in buried in a hole, I guess.

Geminisunmars July 31, 2012 at 12:51 pm

"THEY ARE AT A HOLY SITE! (Actually, reporters, dude’s kind of got a point about that one.)"

Actually, dude doesn't really have a point. They had already exited the Holy Shit (whoops, the Holy Site), were 100 feet beyond it and in a public square, and had had no access to quiet rooms where they might ask the *candidate* some questions in non-shouty ways.

swordfis July 31, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Is there any possibility that Mitt Romney is really Sasha Baron Cohen?

Designer_Rants July 31, 2012 at 1:11 pm

"How was your 'foreign policy' trip?"
"Very Nye-isss"

Chet Kincaid July 31, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Applying "same room" test….

SmutBoffin July 31, 2012 at 12:52 pm

"The kielbasa are just the right height, my friends."

Gleem McShineys July 31, 2012 at 1:02 pm

K-I-E-L-B-A-S-A, you know, to rupture intestines…?

Wadisay July 31, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Guide: Governor Romney, this is the Tomb of the Unknown Polish Soldier.
Romney: I don't know any Polish soldiers, ah-heh-heh. But seriously folks, I've been here all week, you're a great crowd. Kiss my ass! G'nite, y'all, g'nite!

Tundra Grifter July 31, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Remember in '08 when Sen. McCain just pretty much packed it in and began tossing reporters off the bus?

Good times!

SexySmurf July 31, 2012 at 12:52 pm

I wonder if Mittbot told anyone to "bite his shiny, metal ass?"

Isyaignert July 31, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Haha! My son has a t-shirt that says that. I think it's funny, but he's not allowed to wear it around his bible-thumpin' grandma.

Texan_Bulldog July 31, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Chill, Rick. It's not like they asked Mitt where his fucking tax returns were or about all his shady money planted in other countries or how many wives his grandpappy had.

Maman July 31, 2012 at 12:56 pm

This is the perfect location for asking how many holocaust victims he baptized though.

FakaktaSouth July 31, 2012 at 12:53 pm

If the press is a "modified petting zoo," Greta's butchered up plastic donkey face fits right on in. Heehaw heehaw.

Chet Kincaid July 31, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Greta Van Suturin'.

ChernobylSoup July 31, 2012 at 12:55 pm

"All the world's a quiet room."

Gleem McShineys July 31, 2012 at 12:56 pm

THAT TEARS IT! ITS THE QUIET ROOM FOR YOU!

Maman July 31, 2012 at 12:56 pm

I have been waiting for some commentary about how the Poles are smarter than previously reported… or some such nonsense.

SorosBot July 31, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Well how dare those reporters try asking questions of Romney, don't they know he is a superior human being by virtue of his being a billionaire, which he achieved all by himself.

SorosBot July 31, 2012 at 12:57 pm

He's already answered enough questions for you people.

cheetojeebus July 31, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Today, we are all store bought cookies.

Tundra Grifter July 31, 2012 at 1:24 pm

If I could give that comment two thumbs up I would !

cheetojeebus July 31, 2012 at 2:01 pm

ah shucks. thank ya.

NellCote71 July 31, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Me, too!

Steverino247 July 31, 2012 at 12:58 pm

The First Rule of Romney Club is "Nobody talks about Romney Club!"

Serolf_Divad July 31, 2012 at 12:58 pm

In the future the Polish tomb of the Unknown Soldier will be revered as a holy site, because it marks the exact spot that Mitt Romney's campaign jumped the shark and ascended into a divine parody of awfulness.

BerkeleyBear July 31, 2012 at 12:59 pm

You watch – they'll spin this as showing he's just like normal Americans – ignorant as fuck about the rest of the world and proud of it.

Crank_Tango July 31, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Is this that press vetting that everyone is so excited about these days?

Designer_Rants July 31, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Was Ghost Andrew Breitbart in Poland? If so, it was a Pettening (Polish Vettening).

Blueb4sinrise July 31, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Ya know, yesterday when I went looking for Lech and his Rmoney cheerleading, I wondered about the rumor that Lech was going to visit OWS, but then canceled, Teh Google search came up with a few sites claiming that it was Breitbart that had convinced Lech that OWS was a bunch of Nazi Commies.

Designer_Rants July 31, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Gotta admit, I didn't know who this Lech fella was until my Googling just now, despite having heard at least 2 stories about him on NPR over the last 24 hours. Sounds like he endorsed Mittens yesterday, then his Union Thug coalition came right back and said, 'Hah! No. We don't like him.' The Solidarity is awesome.

BerkeleyBear July 31, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Lech would be a right wing hack in America, worshipping the cult of St. Ronnie. But through a quirk of fate, the capitalists were on the side of the unions against the totalitarian supposed leftists (who were really kleptocrats), so people on the left tend to assume he was one of them.

kittensdontlie July 31, 2012 at 1:01 pm

His foreign affair junket was like a trip down memory lane….Who can forget, "I am Williard…who are you people?! And , "The Great and Powerful Wizard Williard has done spoken….

Patrick Chester July 31, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Was I the only one waiting for Romney to tell a Pollock joke?

Isyaignert July 31, 2012 at 1:16 pm

No, I was betting money on it. When I made the same comment on the Fluffington Post some fidiot asked me, "What's a Pollock?"

MosesInvests July 31, 2012 at 1:19 pm

It's a kind of fish, no?

Isyaignert July 31, 2012 at 4:02 pm

You're right – I should have spelled it "Polak" LOL!! In defense of my fidootness, I will confess to being half Polish.

About 10 years ago, I hosted a family reunion for about 50 people from that side of the family. As a takeaway, I put together a booklet with the Polish flag, history, maps, famous Pols, and a bunch of Polish jokes. I intentionally bound it on the right side instead of the left as another joke.

After receiving a copy, a cousin called me aside to confidentially point out that I had made a terrible mistake in the booklet; she didn't get the joke.What a Polak!!

NellCote71 July 31, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Jackson Hole?

tihond July 31, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Meanwhile, Romney asks to see the screen doors on the Polish submarines.

Designer_Rants July 31, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Greta should use her powers as a Level X Thetan to erase Romney's Engrams, so he isn't such a fucking idiot.

Chet Kincaid July 31, 2012 at 1:33 pm

The only non-idiots in Scientology are the handful at the top of the pyramid.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 31, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Only those who have advanced all the way through the program, spending half a million dollars and decades of their lives, have earned the right to be let in on the joke.

doloras July 31, 2012 at 6:27 pm

I heartily disagree. David Miscavige is a shrieking idiot who has let his BFF Tom Cruise destroy any PR his so-called "Church" ever had.

Designer_Rants July 31, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Here's what Google served up when I searched for Miscavige. http://goo.gl/XVmjz

coolhandnuke July 31, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Rick Gorka 1992 valedictorian of the Dick Cheney Charm and Finishing School for Press Secretaries.

Goonemeritus July 31, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Everyone is trying to say Mitt is ill prepared to keep us out of trouble on the world stage because of his lack of diplomatic credentials. While it is true that CEO’s in general are among the least diplomatic people on the planet you need to accept that no presidency is run by just one man. After all shouldn’t we take comfort in the team Romney has surrounded himself with? Long term men of vision such as his press secretary and John Bolton.

Katydid July 31, 2012 at 1:16 pm

John Bolton is a horrible, horrible, man, and I can't believe anybody can stand him…is there anybody on the left as reprehensible as Bolton? Serious question.

Goonemeritus July 31, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Yes but not in a position of authority, every group has its numskulls the left is better about cutting them loose when they become unhinged.

Angry_Marmot July 31, 2012 at 3:53 pm

There are 107 horrible, horrible people on the American left: three of them work at a Trotskyite bookstore in Chicago, four of them insist on wearing Tibetan hats and dancing at every event, two more are film students, and the remaining 98 are paid right-wing provocateurs. Fairly easy to identify and keep them away from the mikes and the cameras.

Being a horrible, horrible person on the right just makes you a careerist.

Chow Yun Flat July 31, 2012 at 1:07 pm

The press is in a modified petting zoo. They should be in a hunting preserve.

not that Dewey July 31, 2012 at 1:55 pm

"The Fourth and Most Dangerous Game Estate"

qwerty42 July 31, 2012 at 1:07 pm

A "great success"? What color is the sky in his world?

Gleem McShineys July 31, 2012 at 3:46 pm

To be fair, it's hard to see it through the Seamus runoff.

deanbooth July 31, 2012 at 4:33 pm

You're just envious.

ElPinche July 31, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Where can one buy a "Romney's Kiss My Ass World Tour 2012" t-shirt?

Tundra Grifter July 31, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Cafe Press?

After reading the above comment, I would amend that to "(r)Money's Big Time Kiss My Ass World Tour 2012" with "London / Israel / Poland " listed like the rock bands do.

ElPinche July 31, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Ha! I wished I had the time, I'd really draft one up . Stupid work!

Tundra Grifter July 31, 2012 at 3:28 pm

There's always the classic "My Presidential Candidate Went on an International Tour to Prove He Could Be a World Leader and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt."

NellCote71 July 31, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Cool. I want one.

Tundra Grifter July 31, 2012 at 7:56 pm

Your move, Rebecca. Looks like a Wonkette fundraiser to me.

Or, at least, a funraiser.

SorosBot July 31, 2012 at 1:10 pm

You'd think the GOP would have learned not to nominate anyone who can't even handle the simplest media questions after their last VP pick, but no.

Tundra Grifter July 31, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Wait until (r)Money's first debate with President Obama. After rolling over his opponents in the primaries, and months of softball infomercials with the FoxPAC, (r)Money won't know what hit him.

Mittens Howell, III July 31, 2012 at 3:38 pm

hahaha … you said 'GOP' and then you said 'learned'.

NellCote71 July 31, 2012 at 6:47 pm

No wonder they defend the second amendment. They need those guns to keep shooting themselves in the foot.

viennawoods13 July 31, 2012 at 1:12 pm

CJ never talked to the press like that.

Chet Kincaid July 31, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Christ Jesus?

Advn2rgirl July 31, 2012 at 4:00 pm

She would sing "The Jackal" to them.

viennawoods13 July 31, 2012 at 4:13 pm

With interpretive dance!

Spurning Beer July 31, 2012 at 1:12 pm

2008: Barack eloquently addresses throngs in Berlin.

2012: Mitt dodges reporters in Poland and Israel.

Nostrildamus July 31, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Gotcha. Those German thongs are a menace, man. Especially on the beach.

Tundra Grifter July 31, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Reminded me of Sheer InSannity being chased through the snows of New Hampshire by Ron Paul's fans.

NellCote71 July 31, 2012 at 6:49 pm

I was remembering the same epiphanic moment in Berlin. I was so young and innocent four years ago.

ChillBill July 31, 2012 at 1:13 pm

"MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!"

ph7 July 31, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Lincoln advisor Stuart Stevens on trip to Ford's Theater: "I think it was a great success"

chascates July 31, 2012 at 1:15 pm

See? There's just something about the 'Holy Land' that makes people want to kill!

Baconzgood July 31, 2012 at 1:15 pm

GODDAMN IT MUTHER FUCKN COCK SUCKER!!!!!!!!! SHOW SOME RESPECT YOU BITCH CUNTS!! THERE'S SOME HOLY SHIT ABOUT!

ElPinche July 31, 2012 at 1:50 pm

..HERE LET ME PULL DOWN MY COCKFUCKIN MAGIC BRIEFS SO YOU CAN SUCK MY KOKNOB AND LICK MY HOLY HOLE, YOU FUCKIN SHIT EATING FURRINERS. HEY SHOW SOME RESPECT!

prommie July 31, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Dad?

emmelemm July 31, 2012 at 2:28 pm

I always laugh when someone posts that. I'm not sure why.

/hasn't gotten old yet

BoatOfVelociraptors July 31, 2012 at 2:33 pm

True story: My dad once panned a movie because "I didn't like the language and shit."

Then there was one of those *blink* *blink* moments when your 11 year old ass starts to consider the genetic implications of such self unawareness in your heritage.

CountryClubJihadi July 31, 2012 at 1:15 pm

"KEEP CALM AND KISS MY ASS"

Billmatic July 31, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Man, I was really looking forward to a barrage of all the Polak jokes Mittens knows. I'm pretty disappointed.

Gleem McShineys July 31, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Yes, that sure is quite the holy site.

Walter can explain all about holiness:

Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't handle money, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit *don't fucking roll*!

Shomer shabbos!

Tundra Grifter July 31, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Elizabeth Berkley just had a baby!

Which gives me the hook to point out the remarkably similarity between the very boring "R" logo of the (r)Money campaign, and the never boring Showgirl's movie poster with Ms. Berkley's leg.

prommie July 31, 2012 at 1:32 pm

That movie got a bad rap, I tells ya. It was unfairly maligned.

Chet Kincaid July 31, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Pretentious twaddle!

prommie July 31, 2012 at 1:43 pm

De gustibus non disputandem, dude!

SmutBoffin July 31, 2012 at 2:06 pm

WHAT MAJIK HOBBIT LANGUAGE IS THIS

SorosBot July 31, 2012 at 1:39 pm

A bad rap? How has a beloved movie with the reputation of a camp cult classic been maligned? Indeed, I'd say the problem with that movie is that it's overrated, as it's really not all that good despite its reputation.

Limeylizzie July 31, 2012 at 1:18 pm

OK I am scared that this man will be President, not the aide, Mittens Romney. Someone hold me and comfort me.

Goonemeritus July 31, 2012 at 1:24 pm

There will plenty of time for that when we are all a few tents away from each other in the Romneyville tent encampments.

prommie July 31, 2012 at 1:44 pm

I think I can get away with that; when are you back in the East?

Limeylizzie July 31, 2012 at 5:38 pm

No clue, my darling, probably September.

NellCote71 July 31, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Really too soon. Poor guy is probably still on the sidewalk.

Tundra Grifter July 31, 2012 at 7:52 pm

NC71:

Thank you! You are correct and I was absolutely wrong.

NellCote71 July 31, 2012 at 9:41 pm

TG: you're a class act.

Tundra Grifter August 1, 2012 at 12:17 pm

NC71:

You give me far too much credit. At this point in my life, I'm just trying to be a better person than I've been.

James Michael Curley July 31, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Want to know whether or not presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney is naming Governor Christie his vice presidential candidate?

There’s an app for that — Mitt VP.

prommie July 31, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Oh, please say it IS so! The ruination of TWO careers, plus, too, Christie has never been vetted, and his history of prosecutorial extortion, pre-indictment plea deals and no-bid contracts to cronies, this will be something extra fun if he becomes VP candidate, I think.

James Michael Curley July 31, 2012 at 3:15 pm

El Purko named Bruce Harris as Legal Director of the Turnpike Authority @ $165,000 and Phillip Kwon as Deputy Director of PA @ $215,000; both after being turned down as Supreme Court Judges over the alleged boondoggle that El Purko would not accept a request to name a democrat before naming more republicans. But speaking with a couple of Assembly Members at meetings during the process, and ones whom I find to be fairly straight forward, there was a lot in the backgrounds of these two that raised doubts. Now they are appointed to $380K worth of tax payer dollars and no oversight in the process.

An_Outhouse July 31, 2012 at 1:49 pm

android or iOS?

BoatOfVelociraptors July 31, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Windows Phone.

James Michael Curley July 31, 2012 at 2:58 pm

GORT 2.0

ph7 July 31, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Mind your fucking manners!

Callyson July 31, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Yeah, no asking Mittens any questions about his gaffes in a foreign land. Save that unpleasantness for a quiet room somewhere.

Tundra Grifter July 31, 2012 at 1:26 pm

I don't understand why The Press would bother to ask (r)Money any questions. Within about 24 hours he'll have all different answers.

randcoolcatdaddy July 31, 2012 at 1:27 pm

"Yes, Mr. Burns, very successful. Shall I kiss your ass again, Mr. Burns?"

prommie July 31, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Camel-toe is common, you can see that anywhere, but Greta is the only woman on earth with camel-face. I would not pet her, if she were in the petting zoo, no I would not. I would not pet her with my cock, I would not pet her with a rock. I would not pet her here or there, I would not pet here anywhere!

James Michael Curley July 31, 2012 at 1:34 pm

EGGSelent! Mr. Green. You hammed that up nicely.

Chet Kincaid July 31, 2012 at 1:37 pm

But let us not forget, Van Suturin' saved the life of Original Wonkette Editrix Ana Nicole "Sweet Cheeks" Cox on a speeding train! http://www.usnews.com/news/blogs/washington-whisp

Lazy Media July 31, 2012 at 1:30 pm

On the one hand, Romney's prissy-assed, closeted press aide is, well, what I just said. On the other hand, anyone who thinks "What about your gaffes?" is a legitimate question needs a good, hard cockpunch.

Mittens Howell, III July 31, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Mr Romney, when will you release your giraffes?

NellCote71 July 31, 2012 at 6:53 pm

"You people" have seen all of his giraffes that he is legally obliged to display.

Guppy July 31, 2012 at 1:38 pm

The Rahm Emanuel/Joe Biden School of Public Decorum.

Tundra Grifter August 1, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Guppy:

I can't agree with you on that one. Joe Biden is genuine. Not perfect, but at his core a really good guy who wouldn't try to hurt anyone else. Particularly in light of what he's been through in his life, I can't see him just being a jerk.

Sometimes Mr. Biden is too out there – but never out of malice. And he's a heck of a lot smarter than many people credit. I am really looking forward to the Vice Presidential candidate debate. It's going to be Lloyd Bentson vs. Dan Quayle all over again. Can't wait…

barto July 31, 2012 at 1:41 pm

I think Greta meant to say "heavy petting zoo", at least in her case.

Terry July 31, 2012 at 1:44 pm

If Romney's staffer had been culturally sensitive, he'd have said "Pocałuj mnie w dupę".

An_Outhouse July 31, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Fucking CNN thinks the world revolves around them. Romney gave an interview while in Poland, to Faux Noose. Wait your turn, CNN, multi tasking is slated for Romney 2.3

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 31, 2012 at 1:46 pm

This will all be taken care of when Romney names his horse as his vice presidential nominee, and allows him to field all the questions.

Chet Kincaid July 31, 2012 at 1:57 pm

You never go Full Caligula.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 31, 2012 at 2:39 pm

He's running for president for pete's sake!

smashedinhat July 31, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Mittens/Palin would be a gruesome twosome. Just throw in some brownshirts and you're good to go!

mavenmaven July 31, 2012 at 1:59 pm

"Have respect, its a very holy site, the Polish Unknown Soldier has just become a retroactive Mormon"

owhatever July 31, 2012 at 2:01 pm

The candidate will refuse to answer any more questions, ever, about anything, except those pre-screened from Sean Hannity. "Governor, why are you so awesome?"

Imperial statements will be issued when he deems them appropriate.

HistoriCat July 31, 2012 at 2:18 pm

the press were being penned up like a “modified petting zoo.”

That's odd – the media never made a big deal about the "free speech zones" far away from GWB. It's all part of the same amendment, so what's the big deal?

lochnessmonster July 31, 2012 at 2:25 pm

How about Mitt Romney holds a press conference and no one shows up?

Arkoday July 31, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Politics today… We've progressed from "read my hips" ™ to "kiss my ass".

Gleem McShineys July 31, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Mitt's trip was a success!

And most androids consider Chuck E. Cheese a "modified petting zoo."

DahBoner July 31, 2012 at 4:39 pm

But I thought everywhere in Poland was a Hole-y Sight?

//puts away screen door on submarine joke

mr bojangles July 31, 2012 at 6:05 pm

hey mitt!!! do you fuck goats?!?!!?

ttommyunger August 1, 2012 at 7:49 am

Admit it; you'd be more than a little testy too if you had to sell Mittens to the unwashed masses.

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