NOTHING TO FEAR BUT THIS GUY  11:29 am July 31, 2012

‘I Was In Fear,’ Yells Florida Man, Guns Blazing, After Shooting Person For Trying To Sell Him Frozen Steaks

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

You should see what he does to Census workersExcellent, now even the “neighborhood crazies” have learned the Get Out of Jail Free code word for Stand Your Ground: “I was in fear.” Unfortunately for “neighborhood crazy” Kenneth Roop, there was a witness who saw him gun down a door-to-door salesman who had knocked on the door, found no one home, and was walking back down the driveway when Roop pulled up, asked him what he was doing there (selling frozen seafood and steaks) and then shot him. Oh, and as the salesman lay dying, he shot him again, in the back of the head. Good job, FLORIDA.

Also, a nearby deputy came on the scene as Roop was reloading in his garage, and held him at gunpoint until he could be properly arrested for being an insane person and homicidal maniac. As she did, he explained, quite properly, that after all he had three no-trespassing signs, and he was “in fear.” (He was also doubtless “in fear” the time he pointed a gun at a woman who wanted to read his meter. Back then, the wisdom of a Florida jury found him not guilty.)

Explaining his actions to police after the shooting, Roop said he became “more than a little nervous” as Rainey walked down the driveway toward his truck and appeared to have something in his hand.

As Rainey drew within 4 feet, Roop grabbed his 9mm Glock from his pocket and fired once, striking Rainey in the shoulder, he told police. Rainey fell to the ground, screaming, ‘You shot me,’ in what Roop described as an “antagonistic” manner, according to the report.

How about Stand Your Ground. Does that apply, News Press?

Cape Police Chief Jay Murphy said it’s too early to say whether Roop was defending himself under the parameters of Florida’s justifiable use of force statute.

“Until all the facts are known, it would be premature to discuss how stand your ground law applies to this particular incident,” Murphy said in an emailed statement.

Indeedy! Hey remember during the Census, when the “fun” thing on the Right was to explain that you would shoot any gubmint who came to your door? Good times.

[WTSP/NewsPress, via RawStory]

 

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{ 267 comments }

Barb_ July 31, 2012 at 11:32 am

It shouldn't take a hurricane to encourage people to get the hell out of Florida.

SorosBot July 31, 2012 at 12:03 pm

But what if you want to go to Disneyworld?

Serolf_Divad July 31, 2012 at 12:13 pm

I hear there's on near Paris.

HistoriCat July 31, 2012 at 12:20 pm

You can get diplomatic immunity in that case but you need to stick to the main roads and avoid eye contact with the locals.

An_Outhouse July 31, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Fuck DisneyWorld. I don't know why any sane person would take their family into the state of Florida. You'll either get shot or catch a third world disease and probably both.

MNWICyborg July 31, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Plus, my mother-in-law lives there! *rimshot*

Chet Kincaid July 31, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Can you imagine all the dumbfucks standing outside their houses in the driving rain, waving their glocks and rifles at a hurricane?

Maman July 31, 2012 at 11:32 am

Oh hellz. That could be my next door neighbor. Steer clear of those people with the no-trespassing signs on a city street

HateMachine July 31, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Oh yeah, I've got a couple George Zimmerman wanna-bes on my street, one with the confederate flag the size of his front door, and the other with "Don't Tread On Me" signs and "No Trespassing" all over his property.

The former made the rather sensible decision to take his flag down (it can't be great for property values in a majority-black city), but he's still the guy who marched across the street and sharply questioned the Papa John's employee (the place is on our street, two doors down) about his suspicious behavior, namely pacing the sidewalk during his smoke break. I'm sure I don't need to tell you that the suspicious person was significantly browner than said neighbor.

Trannysurprise July 31, 2012 at 11:32 am

To be fair, the victim wasn't as white as Kenny and that IS the going standard these days.

mavenmaven July 31, 2012 at 11:33 am

News Flash: The sudden disappearance of large numbers of Jehovah's Witnesses has been traced to one man…

sullivanst July 31, 2012 at 11:37 am

So, he's not all bad then.

I know, I know, too soon.

HistoriCat July 31, 2012 at 12:22 pm

You know who else made large numbers of Jehovah's Witnesses disappear …

sullivanst July 31, 2012 at 12:23 pm

I heard they ran off with the gypsies, or something.

An_Outhouse July 31, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Jehovah?

Boojum July 31, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Jehovah's hit man?

James Michael Curley July 31, 2012 at 11:33 am

When I came to this post it said "No Comments" which pretty much is the way I feel.

Barb_ July 31, 2012 at 11:47 am

Yikes, looks like someone needs a toaster strudel and a few moments looking at kittens on the intertubes. I hope your day gets brighter.

James Michael Curley July 31, 2012 at 12:12 pm

How can I? I'm at work and the Women's Volley Ball is not on.

An_Outhouse July 31, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I watched thw womyn's volleyball last night. Apparently it was either cold there or they were all from conservative muslin countries.

MosesInvests July 31, 2012 at 11:33 am

So, if I live in Florida (never again!), I can "stand my ground" against Mormon missionaries and Jehovah's Witnesses?

Maman July 31, 2012 at 11:35 am

That is Elder Ross to you Moses.

sullivanst July 31, 2012 at 11:40 am

Sounds to me like the correct name is in fact "Target Practice"

Texan_Bulldog July 31, 2012 at 11:54 am

Surveyor marks libel!!1!!!!!!!!

Terry July 31, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Certainly. You are in fear…that they won't leave until you take some leaflets.

An_Outhouse July 31, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Those are some scary proselytizers.

rmjagg July 31, 2012 at 1:46 pm

they are trying to steal your soul , and if you don't let them , they will kill you and baptize you anyway …

grace_nearing July 31, 2012 at 11:52 pm

And dudes looking for driveway seal coat jobs.

BlueJoubert August 3, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Precisely. I am scared to death of those fucks. What a great idea. Only thing is, we would go to jail. This idiot will walk, just like the toothless guy who cooked dinner while his victim was laying on his porch, and Zimmerman, who stalked and assassinated an innocent young man.

freakishlywrong July 31, 2012 at 11:34 am

"Stand yer ground" will only be applicable if Rainey is blah.

Pragmatist2 July 31, 2012 at 11:35 am

Of source he was in fear. Gun owners live in fear. That's why they have guns. That's why we should call them pussies.

FNMA July 31, 2012 at 11:44 am

Had a gun-nut tell me that I should put a sign in front of my house saying that there are no guns in the house. He said I'd be dead in a day.
I told him, You know, they're doing some very good things with medication these days.

SorosBot July 31, 2012 at 11:56 am

Yet somehow, the vast majority of people, including those of us in the scary urban areas, manage to go around about our business every day without even coming close to being murdered, or even to worry about it.

I've lived in cities my entire life and know exactly one person who was murdered, or even the victim of an attempt – and he was a drug dealer, killed by other dealers. Which, along with crimes of passion, are the vast majority of murders in the US.

FNMA July 31, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Seriously, I have no idea how these people are able to get through the day without shooting somebody in a fit of paranoia…Wait a minute…

CommieLibunatic July 31, 2012 at 12:27 pm

How about a sign declaring that I don't have a gun, but I do have a sinister-looking crowbar?

Generation[redacted] July 31, 2012 at 1:03 pm

"I don't have a gun, but I have a state of the art alarm system that will take your picture. Also the doors are locked. My neighbor, however, has a collection of expensive guns just waiting to be burgled and pawned."

WABishop August 3, 2012 at 12:00 pm

"I don't have a gun but I have a cellphone. Oh, and a fucking library card."

prommie July 31, 2012 at 11:50 am

Thank you thank you thank you for this, the fundamental irony surrounding all of these gun-fetishists, they are fucking pussies, they love their guns exactly as much as they live in fear. The more of a walking bundle of cowardice and fear they are, the more they cling to their guns. The more they piss their pants whenever they see a black man, the more likely they are gonna carry and freak out in a pussy-fit and shoot someone some day. Yes, indeed, they should change the name to the "National I Need The Security of a Gun Because My Dick Is Tiny And I Am A Craven Quaking Pussy Association."

Fairtackle July 31, 2012 at 12:37 pm

"Craven Quaking Pussy Association"

Best band name ever.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 31, 2012 at 11:51 am

Ummm …. what do you mean, "we"?
This fuckwit had 14 guns … you go tell him.

Steverino247 July 31, 2012 at 11:52 am

Perfect comment. They are afraid.

actor212 July 31, 2012 at 11:59 am

Yea, just not to their faces.

I mean, I totally agree with your sentiment and your assessment (in many cases, like this one), it's just that when the jackass is pointing his weapon at me, I'm not about to start an argument. Been there, done that, have the soaked undies to show for it.

There are times I wish I could keep my mouth shut.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 31, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Hey, the man had a package, with some stiff meat. Of course he felt inferior.

Katydid July 31, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Had a nephew-in-law, a skinny little guy, who had a gun, a pit bull, and piranha. I don't know what the hell he was so afraid of.

actor212 July 31, 2012 at 12:09 pm

A burglar who would snorkel in through the pipes?

Boojum July 31, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Aquaman?

doloras July 31, 2012 at 5:58 pm

No-one's afraid of Aquaman except for his own side. He gets captured by supervillains so often they have a cell with his name on it.

MosesInvests July 31, 2012 at 12:24 pm

I don't want to be overly PC here, but can we stop referring to cowards as "pussies"? Some of the bravest people I know are possessors of that organ.

Pragmatist2 July 31, 2012 at 12:44 pm

It's true. It's true. But it's also true that all of the nicest people I know have a**holes.
Nonetheless, point taken.

SayItWithWookies July 31, 2012 at 2:34 pm

I use "sissies" now, for that very reason.

TheGyrus July 31, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Still sexist, as the word derives from "sister." Maybe "ninnies?"

sullivanst July 31, 2012 at 1:10 pm

It's not necessarily a reference to ladyparts, it turns out. Although most people nowadays think of it that way, so the etymology is likely irrelevant.

Boojum July 31, 2012 at 1:57 pm

I would think the name derives from 'fraidy cats, not lady parts. Maybe it was Cockney rhyming slang, with a twist.

Goonemeritus July 31, 2012 at 11:35 am

Funny he seems a little chubby to be a Vegan.

Crank_Tango July 31, 2012 at 11:35 am

Good job, asshole. All that practice at the range and you could only hit an unarmed man in the shoulder from 4 feet away?

Not_So_Much July 31, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Sounds like he did better with the second shot.

(and was reloading? was he going to shoot the meat too?)

Crank_Tango July 31, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Not sure why he would have needed to reload after only two shots–I think even the littlest 9mm glocks hold at least 10 shots.

CommieLibunatic July 31, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Maybe he was packing something like this. Overcompensating, etc.

Harrison Wintergreen July 31, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Shooting him in the back of the head when he was already on the ground was a neat touch — dead men don't file lawsuits.

Caelan Aegana July 31, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Don't worry, quite soon it will capsize* soon from the weight of all the obese diabetic scooter-riding old farts.

-
*Shamlessly stolen from an Onion headline.

hippie13 August 1, 2012 at 6:58 am

he was brandishing a clipboard after all

jodyleek July 31, 2012 at 11:36 am

Oh, Florida! When are you going to break off the continent and fall into the ocean?

nounverb911 July 31, 2012 at 11:39 am

Hopefully August during the republitard convention.

Texan_Bulldog July 31, 2012 at 11:56 am

FL: the Syphilis-riddled penis of America

JustPixelz July 31, 2012 at 11:56 am

Let's get Lorena Bobbit to cut it off.

CommieLibunatic July 31, 2012 at 12:30 pm

I'll be happy if it just sinks. A very real possibility, what with climate change and most of that shithole being just a few feet above sea level.

sewollef July 31, 2012 at 12:48 pm

A friend of mine doesn't like Florida. He blogged about it just after the fraudulent Bush election 'win' back in 2004:

And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice.

To that we can add Stand Your Ground.

emmelemm July 31, 2012 at 2:06 pm

I don't even like orange juice.

johnnyzhivago July 31, 2012 at 11:36 am

Standing his ground for the right to eat chicken!

It's in the Bill of Rights, sheeple!!!!!!!!!!!!!

actor212 July 31, 2012 at 11:39 am

EAT MOR COK

FNMA July 31, 2012 at 11:45 am

Leave Chic-Fil-A alone!

swordfis July 31, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Please! Hetero chicken.

deanbooth July 31, 2012 at 11:36 am

What are you gonna do, bleed on me?

[Added: Is this a new thing, or is it just that we've started to pay attention?]

glasspusher July 31, 2012 at 11:42 am

"I am invincible!"

sullivanst July 31, 2012 at 11:43 am

The Florida SYG law was signed into law by Jebbush, so it's newish, but not shiny new. Trayvon was really the point at which people started to pay full attention.

actor212 July 31, 2012 at 11:44 am

Yea. Dead kids have a way of bringing things to light

sullivanst July 31, 2012 at 11:53 am

Whereas noone seems to care about gangs blowing each other away and then successfully claiming SYG.

actor212 July 31, 2012 at 11:53 am

Them's just the nearers playing amongst theyseffs.

Crank_Tango July 31, 2012 at 11:59 am

Didn't that used to be GE's slogan in the 80's?

SorosBot July 31, 2012 at 11:43 am

The fact that the NRA has handed crazed killers an apparent get-out-of-jail-free card with Stand Your Ground has probably contributed just a bit.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 31, 2012 at 11:45 am

http://i.imgur.com/BP8Mj.jpg Tis but a scratch.

elviouslyqueer July 31, 2012 at 11:37 am

“Until all the facts are known, it would be premature to discuss how stand your ground law applies to this particular incident,” Murphy said in an emailed statement.

I'll take "What is 'It motherfucking DOESN'T apply here, you pea-brained dimwit'?" for $500, Alex.

pdiddycornchips July 31, 2012 at 11:52 am

You're obviously unaware of the Florida penal code. The guy said " you shot me" in an antagonistic manner for one and he was not white for two. He was walking back to his truck rather than crawling on the ground with his hands clasped together in prayer. That's the three strikes rule in Florida. Well, for non-whites who get shot by their betters at least.

rmjagg July 31, 2012 at 1:47 pm

to put it mildly …

Baconzgood July 31, 2012 at 11:37 am

"He was wearing his hoodie menacingly"

ttommyunger July 31, 2012 at 11:37 am

This surprising to me, since this chap looks so normal; for Florida.

Goonemeritus July 31, 2012 at 11:37 am

How long before Spanky claims this guy is a Democrat?

bflrtsplk July 31, 2012 at 11:43 am

Fox News this morning showed the guy`s photo. Underneath it said Roop (D-Fl). Just kidding, I hope.

actor212 July 31, 2012 at 11:37 am

Stand your ground beef?

nounverb911 July 31, 2012 at 11:38 am

Move along folks, nothing new to see here, just Florida acting normal.

elviouslyqueer July 31, 2012 at 11:38 am

Also, Meat is Murder, obvs.

Nothingisamiss July 31, 2012 at 1:48 pm

ftw.

Allmighty_Manos July 31, 2012 at 11:38 am

Hate to be grim and all, but in all seriousness how long will it be before a Obama volunteer gets shot?

Doktor Zoom July 31, 2012 at 11:48 am

DON'T GIVE THEM IDEAS!

pepperpat July 31, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Like they haven't thought of it by themselves already?

SoBeach July 31, 2012 at 11:52 am

I can tell you this: the volunteers in my little part of Florida are NOT thrilled with the idea of canvassing.

randcoolcatdaddy July 31, 2012 at 11:56 am

Or a Republican volunteer. Or a utility worker. Or a postman.

tessiee July 31, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Although at least the postman can whip out his Uzi and return fire.

Mapmonger July 31, 2012 at 11:38 am

What a load of fuckwits.

Nostrildamus July 31, 2012 at 12:17 pm

A perfect comment – for all occasions.

sullivanst July 31, 2012 at 11:39 am

Nobody could've predicted that giving the gun freaks free license to just cold shoot anyone in any situation and claim they were a-feared might lead to senseless bloodshed.

SexySmurf July 31, 2012 at 11:39 am

Rainey fell to the ground, screaming, ‘You shot me,’ in what Roop described as an “antagonistic” manner, according to the report.

Just because someone guns you down in a homicidal rage doesn't mean you have to be rude about it.

ChernobylSoup July 31, 2012 at 11:46 am

It's all there in Emily Post's Guide to Stand Your Ground

actor212 July 31, 2012 at 11:49 am

The proper phrasing is "Oh, dear! It appears that I have been shot by someone in your general direction! I do not wish to give offense, but do you have perhaps a bandage or an aspirin I might secure?"

Toujours la politesse! And all this must be said while your pinkies are up.

sullivanst July 31, 2012 at 11:57 am

"Actually, would you mind making that a Tylenol? I wouldn't want to bleed on your driveway any more than strictly necessary."

PsycWench July 31, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Also the use of "You" makes it appear accusatory. It would be best to use "I statements" as in "I have been shot, probably by the asshole with the gun".

Exhausted66 July 31, 2012 at 12:34 pm
tessiee July 31, 2012 at 6:53 pm

"Thank you, Sir! May I have another?"

Gleem McShineys July 31, 2012 at 1:37 pm

I believe Dick Cheney's victim set the bar pretty high for post-firearm etiquette.

starfanglednut July 31, 2012 at 2:00 pm

That's right. The frozen steak salesman should have apologized!

mbobier July 31, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Well, to be fair to the victim, if somebody had just shot me, I might be feeling a bit antagonistic, myself….

keinsignal July 31, 2012 at 1:26 pm

"What's the difference between "aggravated" assault and regular assault?"
"Dogg, that's cake. Regular assault is when you are assaulted and you're cool about it. But when you get aggravated assaulted you get super angry about it."
"I always get super angry when I get assaulted."
"Man why do you always gotta be a dick about it."

Chet Kincaid July 31, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Man, that line smacked my gob so hard, I exclaimed out loud in my office. (I guess I am lucky the Art Director next-door didn't shoot me.)

smashedinhat July 31, 2012 at 11:40 am

Cop would've shot him if he weren't a white oldster I bet!

johnnyzhivago July 31, 2012 at 11:40 am

Does "Stand Your Ground" apply on the telephone? Is there a way to shoot telemarketers???

actor212 July 31, 2012 at 11:41 am

I wanna have sex with this comment

viennawoods13 July 31, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Jesus. I get the Windows registry scammers phoning like every day. I have my response down to a fine art by now: "You people are fucking cocksuckers"

pepperpat July 31, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Do they ever reply, "If they're cocksuckers, why would I be fucking them?" Because I would totally say that.

glasspusher July 31, 2012 at 12:39 pm

I don't know if you're kidding about the Windows registry scammer thing or not. I know just enough about the windows registry to think you might be telling the truth.

viennawoods13 July 31, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Oh, it's real. A friend of mine actually got sucked in by them once! I only found out about that a couple of weeks ago, but I've been cussing them out for a year now.

glasspusher July 31, 2012 at 12:50 pm

So what do they do? Tell you you have to have it cleaned out or something? I would love to keep them on the line, I only use macs…

102415 July 31, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Some one tricked me into picking up the phone the other day with that bullshit and I chatted for awhile explaining that I didn't know how the computer worked and asked them how do you turn it on.

James Michael Curley July 31, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Try the, "I have a button on my phone that will electrocute you if I push it." Works for bored 8 year olds who just learned the 'Is your refrigerator running?" joke and telemarketers who are mentally the same age.

Mumbletypeg July 31, 2012 at 11:40 am

Why don't I get more frozen steak salesmen finding their way to my house? Instead I just get the usual Frozen Chosen, the Jehovahs witness sales reps, because such is my luck.

HistoriCat July 31, 2012 at 12:29 pm

If you lived in a more genteel neighborhood you would get Mormons instead of Jehovah's Witnesses.

SorosBot July 31, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Is that it? I thought I didn't get Mormons by virtue of living on the East Coast.

HistoriCat July 31, 2012 at 1:49 pm

I think they're slowly working their way back east.

sullivanst July 31, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Has to be said, I saw more of them in England than I have so far in New York.

glasspusher July 31, 2012 at 11:41 am

"I was afeared"

Monsieur_Grumpe July 31, 2012 at 11:41 am

This would not have been a problem if the salesman was armed.
*points finger to head and pulls an imaginary trigger*

SorosBot July 31, 2012 at 11:42 am

"he explained, quite properly, that after all he had three no-trespassing signs,"

Yeah um, as annoying as they may be, salesmen, along with proselytizers or canvassers, who come to your front door are not in fact trespassers.

actor212 July 31, 2012 at 11:58 am

Depends if you put up a "No Solicitation" sign, too.

anniegetyerfun July 31, 2012 at 1:44 pm

I have recently put up "No Solicitation" signs – this will justify my increased violent threats toward those pesky Girl Scouts.

starfanglednut July 31, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Those little gay abortionists!

anniegetyerfun July 31, 2012 at 2:38 pm

I support their gay abortions, but I hate crunchy cookies. An abomination!

edgydrifter July 31, 2012 at 11:42 am

He was aggressively bleeding on my driveway–HE HAD TO DIE!!

IncenseDebate July 31, 2012 at 11:42 am

He had ordered a pizza.

actor212 July 31, 2012 at 11:42 am

"I get my meat at the Food Lion" *BLAM*

Estproph July 31, 2012 at 11:42 am

"Yer Honner, he wuz in hiz house THINKIN' at me! I hadda stan' mah groun' in his bathroom an shoot him inna haid whiles he wuz busy, afore he dun got any odder idears!"

actor212 July 31, 2012 at 11:45 am

He was standing on the sidewalk, looking at my driveway.

The sidewalk across the street.

One block over.

sullivanst July 31, 2012 at 11:54 am

I could tell he was looking at my driveway because my sniper scope gives a super-clear visual.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 31, 2012 at 11:43 am

Tampa is going to be SO interesting this month.

randcoolcatdaddy July 31, 2012 at 11:57 am

"May you live in interesting times" is a curse not a blessing.

Generation[redacted] July 31, 2012 at 1:08 pm

"May your ground be always standing."

starfanglednut July 31, 2012 at 2:04 pm

*Runs out for popcorn.

MissTaken July 31, 2012 at 11:43 am

I totally understand. The idea that steaks and seafood can remain frozen in the Florida heat makes no sense. I'm scared of salmonella, too.

kittensdontlie July 31, 2012 at 12:03 pm

The meat was no doubt irradiated for preservation. i wouldn't tolerate it and I see others won't either.

DahBoner July 31, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Quantum Steak Mechanics: Spooky Action from a Jar…

Caelan Aegana July 31, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Refrigeration truck = spy operation headquarters. Obviously.

johnnyzhivago July 31, 2012 at 11:44 am

Someone should re-do this Norman Rockwell travelling salesman with a tactical ballistic vest, an M4A assault rifle and a Glock strapped to his leg: http://www.jumpingfrog.com/images/recur/norm1.jpg

tessiee July 31, 2012 at 7:02 pm

And by "someone", we mean "not John McNaughton".

Although, come to think of it, that doesn't rule out David Bugnon, who did the Breitbart in armor portrait. I'll bet he's got plenty of time on his hands these days.

JustPixelz July 31, 2012 at 11:44 am

I am in fear too.

SorosBot July 31, 2012 at 11:44 am

So does Colorado have a Stand Your Ground law? Because movie theater crowds can scare masked madmen.

bflrtsplk July 31, 2012 at 11:44 am

Are we supposed to be shocked? Surprised? At a loss?. I mean, Jesus. Fucking Jesus!

prommie July 31, 2012 at 11:44 am

Its the living under Kenyan socialist tyranny that unhinged him, and Obama pissing on the Constitution!

RadioBowels July 31, 2012 at 11:53 am

Anmd subjecting him to White Slavery.

prommie July 31, 2012 at 11:59 am

Unnecessarily shooting people in the defence of Liberty is no Vice!

prommie July 31, 2012 at 11:45 am

I would NOT want to be a GOTV walker in Florida!

actor212 July 31, 2012 at 11:52 am

Hey, that gives me the idea for an invention!

We could modify a walker-cane with twin 50cal for handles. This way, if an old person is accidentally wandering the neighborhood and happens upon a gun nut about to preserve his Ground, she can open fire first!

SoBeach July 31, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Well…when I've done it we only knocked on the doors of registered dems.

A few elections back I was walking around what is considered the worst neighborhood in the area, talking to people, seeing if they needed a ride to the polls, etc. From the moment I got out of my car I was watched like a hawk. I stuck out like a sore thumb, and everyone was suspicious. Before I could knock on my first door a couple of guys came off a front porch and asked me what I was doing. I told them and it was instantly cool. After that everybody was as nice as can be to me.

Now if I were to try the same thing in the neighborhood where I live I'm certain I'd get cussed out, have doors slammed in my face, and maybe even get a gun pointed at me. But that's because I live in a nice, safe, upscale neighborhood.

JustPixelz July 31, 2012 at 11:46 am

In fairness, the salesman was representing Surveyor's Mark Steak & Seafood. They really need to change that blazer design.

Goonemeritus July 31, 2012 at 11:46 am

About 1% of the populations anywhere are sociopaths, if you live in an area that even has modest population density you can probably toss a biscuit and hit the house of one. The thing that makes this worse in the States is to a man they are all gun owners.

weejee July 31, 2012 at 11:50 am

So in non-Queenly/Olympic English words, your tellin' us we need to be careful where we toss our cookies?

BarackMyWorld July 31, 2012 at 11:47 am

Someone set us up the bomb. All your steaks are belong to us.

actor212 July 31, 2012 at 11:47 am

This guy scares me, all the way from Florida. I should fly down and shoot him, just so I can be safe.

mavenmaven July 31, 2012 at 11:52 am

At this rate we may actually need a Wonkette Militia for defense.

actor212 July 31, 2012 at 11:57 am

In the spirit of liberalism, let's design the uniforms first, make them really FABBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBULOUS! then stock the armory.

This way, we can be certain our guns match our shoes.

GunToting[Redacted] July 31, 2012 at 1:42 pm

You can't go wrong with basic black.

starfanglednut July 31, 2012 at 2:09 pm
prommie July 31, 2012 at 11:58 am

Airfare is on me! I'm scared too!

BoatOfVelociraptors July 31, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Well, that's reasonable. It's called "Stand YOUR ground" as opposed to "Stand MY ground".

Veritas78 July 31, 2012 at 7:32 pm

No need to hassle with TSA about your guns—you can easily buy them all there within minutes of landing.

BaldarTFlagass July 31, 2012 at 11:47 am

I don't blame the guy, I hate that Omaha Steaks shit too.

actor212 July 31, 2012 at 11:48 am

I dunno. Their bacon-wrapped filet mignon is pretty tasty.

Mmmmm, bacon….

Exhausted66 July 31, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Obama Steaks?

HistoriCat July 31, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Omaha = Warren Buffet = Obama = Communism

Wake up sheeple!

Steverino247 July 31, 2012 at 11:48 am

Stand your sales territory!

StealthMuslin July 31, 2012 at 11:48 am

I am in fear of Florida. Can we nuke it now?

ph7 July 31, 2012 at 11:53 am

Let's nuke it 'til it's nothing but a flat expanse of sand.

ElPinche July 31, 2012 at 12:49 pm
Steverino247 July 31, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Not until we're in orbit, dear.

JustPixelz July 31, 2012 at 11:48 am

When "stand your ground" is outlawed, only outlaws will stand their ground.

mrpuma2u July 31, 2012 at 12:03 pm

That gets my vote for comment of the day. Well played.

FNMA July 31, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Well, in Florida, anyway, outlaws are standing their ground. A Florida newspaper, I think it was the Tampa paper, recently reviewed a bunch of cases in which Stand Your Ground had led to no charges being filed and found that something like 60 percent of the cases involved suspects with records for committing violent crimes or were drug dealers. One case involved a guy who shot his ex-wife's boyfriend, who was unarmed at the time. The guy got off.

Boojum July 31, 2012 at 6:07 pm

That would totally get me off, also too.

ManchuCandidate July 31, 2012 at 11:48 am

To be fair those Frozen Lobsters and Steaks would have killed the chicken hearted thug… with a heart attack.

MissTaken July 31, 2012 at 11:48 am

Rainey fell to the ground, screaming, ‘You shot me,’ in what Roop described as an “antagonistic” manner, according to the report.

If you get shot, don't shout "You shot me" like an antagonizing bastard. Instead, gleefully serenade your gunman with a lovely rendition of "America The Beautiful" to make your gunman feel warm and fuzzy inside.

The More You Know!

SorosBot July 31, 2012 at 11:51 am

Why would someone feel antagonistic towards a guy who just shot them for no reason anyway?

BoatOfVelociraptors July 31, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Seems proper, since the protagonist was speaking with bullets.

An_Outhouse July 31, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Damn right. Where did this salesman learn his manners? Not from my mother, I'm telling you.

Generation[redacted] July 31, 2012 at 1:09 pm

If you start singing the 1812 Overture, the shooter can play along.

Steverino247 July 31, 2012 at 11:50 am

Maybe Houston needs to make a video about what to do when visiting Florida.
http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/07

Callyson July 31, 2012 at 11:50 am

Gene Snyder, a former volunteer firefighter who lives across a canal from the shooting scene, said he witnessed part of the incident. He said his wife heard two gunshots, so he rushed to the house to help.
What happened next, he said, was horrifying.
“I went to bend over to help the guy on the ground, the victim, and out of the garage I heard something: ‘I’ll kill everybody or shoot everybody,’ Snyder said. "And he cocked his gun and thank God for the Collier County sheriff’s (deputy), she probably saved my life and everybody else’s life that was in the area,” Snyder said.

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

HistoriCat July 31, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Ah but if Mr. Snyder had been armed he could have shot the guy … after all, he feared for his life.

If I were in Florida, I think I would just have the music from The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly playing all the time. Just to set the mood.

nirrti_rachelle July 31, 2012 at 11:51 am

Seafood, steak, Skittles, and cans of tea are apparently considered deadly weapons in Florida. I know unhealthy food kills but are they taking SYG a bit too literally?

ChrisM2011 July 31, 2012 at 11:51 am

Florida is apparently our Germany when it comes to bat-shit crazy-weird.

annettaj July 31, 2012 at 11:51 am

Give Florida back to the gators. Then have them eat the buck naked crazies who straggle.

tessiee July 31, 2012 at 7:10 pm

"How about some crackers for an appetizer?"

"Southern man, gonna eat your head…"

–MST3K

Doktor Zoom July 31, 2012 at 11:52 am

On the lighter side, FSU's Drama Department says it has an innovative ending planned for its upcoming re-imagining of a classic Arthur Miller play, which for copyright purposes they are calling "Willie Loman Stands His Ground."

Dumbedup July 31, 2012 at 11:53 am

So, dude is reduced to selling frozen food door to door, certainly one of the harder gigs in the world, and small penis white guy, who's been itchin' to shoot someone since he bought the fucking thing, pulls out a gun and shoots the guy. Other guy says the sensible thing "you shot me, WTF?" whereupon dickless gets out and murders him by shooting him in the head. Jesus wept.

Beetagger July 31, 2012 at 11:53 am

To be fair, steaks scare me too.

An_Outhouse July 31, 2012 at 1:03 pm

I'm often afraid they may reanimate into a very large angry bovine.

Mumbletypeg July 31, 2012 at 11:54 am

Someone else here has said it better than me … but if our surplus of manufactured fear with a side helping of paranoia could be frozen, packaged and exported, the only thing left obstructing the potential boon to our GNP would be how to find a market outside the US with a greater appetite for fear and paranoia than ourselves.

IncenseDebate July 31, 2012 at 11:56 am

We lead the world in paranoia. USA! USA! Amercia!!

Goonemeritus July 31, 2012 at 12:14 pm

I disagree no one could have said that better, to me it is the smartest thing said by anyone about anything.

Mumbletypeg July 31, 2012 at 12:30 pm

You are gracious. It was inspired by a more succinct comment by one SayItWithWookie, sthg about commodification of Crazy, U.S.-grade… If I dig it up successfully from the intertubez netherworld I'll come back and link it~

starfanglednut July 31, 2012 at 2:12 pm

SIWW is a genius.

Mumbletypeg July 31, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Indeed. FYI his LostInTarnation work in progress, once stalled, now back in progress ~

RadioBowels July 31, 2012 at 11:54 am

Death of a Salesman always depressed me.

Generation[redacted] July 31, 2012 at 1:00 pm

I liked the bit about Simonizing, though. That was nice.

Texan_Bulldog July 31, 2012 at 11:57 am

FL is making TX look better and better every day.

MosesInvests July 31, 2012 at 12:17 pm

The only things I miss about Florida are my family, old friends and the beaches.

Local_Mojo July 31, 2012 at 11:58 am

Ah, a simple misunderstanding.

“The stand your ground is a good piece of legislation,” said Marion Hammer, the NRA's lobbyist. “It was designed to protect he rights of law abiding people to defend themselves when they are under attack or assault. That’s all it does.”

No harm intended. Rainey should just get up and Roop should shake his hand like a gentleman and they should go on about their business.

Steverino247 July 31, 2012 at 12:02 pm

True Story Time, kiddies.

Saturday evening my dinner is interrupted by a teenager vaulting my side gate and running along the side of the house. I go to the sliding door of my bedroom and see a frightened Hispanic male about 18. I ask if I can help him. He says he's afraid he's being followed and asks if he can hide in my backyard. I offer to call the police and tell him he really can't run through people's yards like this. He does not want the police called, probably because he's in a gang, but possibly because the police can be dicks, too. He finds his courage and leaves. On the way out, my neighbor addresses him in Spanish. The kid says he's OK and thanks him. My neighbor and I shrug our shoulders.

If this happened in Florida, the kid would be dead.

smitallica July 31, 2012 at 12:02 pm

So it's ok to shoot someone who walks up or down your driveway with "something in his hand"?

Mailmen, Mormons, and new neighbors bringing brownies, you've been fucking warned.

sullivanst July 31, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Girl Scouts too. The nuts are most a-feared that there's gayness baked into those cookies…

Generation[redacted] July 31, 2012 at 1:11 pm

"They were coming to abort my fetus!"

starfanglednut July 31, 2012 at 2:13 pm

We just gotta give those fetuses tiny little guns of their own.

sullivanst July 31, 2012 at 3:22 pm

I just had a vision of what a Robert Rodriguez remake of Alien would look like.

x111e7thst July 31, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Was the salesman in question walking while brown? Because that makes a difference.

DahBoner July 31, 2012 at 12:03 pm

So how come the Colorado shooter was charged with 24 counts of murder?

He only killed 12….

Tundra Grifter July 31, 2012 at 12:15 pm

I don't understand your "only."

I believe there were 12 counts of first-degree murder and 12 counts of murder under special circumstances (or similar language). They aren't throwing the book at him – they're throwing the library.

And well they should!

DahBoner July 31, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Special murders?

Kids these days have it easy!

Back in the day, you had to actually kill 24 White people….

Generation[redacted] July 31, 2012 at 12:59 pm

(fidgets nervously) So… did you pass your PhD exam?

starfanglednut July 31, 2012 at 2:24 pm

That guy annoys me profoundly. That phony bewildered expression on his face makes me wanna punch him.

Tundra Grifter July 31, 2012 at 12:07 pm

It wasn't that long ago in Florida when a Japanese exchange student was gunned down on Halloween.

Now that appears to just be routine.

MosesInvests July 31, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Not to give Florida any undeserved credit, but that incident was in Louisiana.

Tundra Grifter July 31, 2012 at 1:04 pm

MI:

Thank you. I was sure it was Florida. The young man's name was Yoshihiro Hattori – he deserves to be remembered.

Neoyorquino July 31, 2012 at 12:11 pm

He began bleeding all over my front lawn, in an antagonistic and threatening manner.

Serolf_Divad July 31, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Plus, that stuff is terrible for your lawn.

Serolf_Divad July 31, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Hey, come on now, people: what good's the right to bear arms if you don't get to go out and shoot random strangers from time to time?

Gleem McShineys July 31, 2012 at 1:49 pm

The Driveway of Liberty needs to be watered too.

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 31, 2012 at 12:14 pm

If only Rainey had been packing heat as well, this tragedy could have been avoided.

tessiee July 31, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Ironically, he had just switched to selilng steaks, and previously had been selling Cutco knives.

Guppy July 31, 2012 at 12:19 pm

I am in fear of the Republican National Convention in Tampa.

(with votes!)

Fraudulently_Joe July 31, 2012 at 12:24 pm

In fairness, though, if this door-to-door salesman had ALSO been armed, or at very least, sold Ginsu knives, he could have stood his ground against the ground-standing, the way our Founders, who were anarchists, envisioned.

Eve8Apples July 31, 2012 at 12:25 pm

The more I learn about Floridians, the more I become convinced too much sunshine and moderate temperatures rot the human brain.

emmelemm July 31, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Temperatures in Florida are *moderate*? Since when?

Caelan Aegana July 31, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Nah, it's just all the Syphilis.

Eve8Apples July 31, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Instead of People of Walmart, Wonkette needs to start a new website called, "People of Florida."

pepperpat July 31, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Fark's been there, done that with their "Florida" tag.

Dildeaux July 31, 2012 at 12:29 pm

I blame Obama.

pdiddycornchips July 31, 2012 at 12:36 pm

I lived in Florida in back in the 80's but I got sick of the senseless violence.

Sincerely,
Tony Montana

Guy Montag July 31, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Mr Roop apparantly misunderstood the door-to-door meat salesman when he asked 'steak or ground'?

Isyaignert July 31, 2012 at 12:51 pm

There's a reason that Florida looks like a dick.

mookwrthwilson July 31, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Get the needle.

Generation[redacted] July 31, 2012 at 12:57 pm

If only someone had a gun, this could have been avoided.

AlNewMan July 31, 2012 at 1:00 pm

someone has to counteract our geographic flacidity

ElPinche July 31, 2012 at 1:00 pm

If the salesman had a weaponized steak, this would have never happened.

chascates July 31, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Never mind the dog. Beware of the bat-shit crazy tri**er-happy homeowner.

finallyhappy July 31, 2012 at 1:34 pm

I had a meat salesman come to my door about a month agoand I explained I and my two next door neighbors wouldn't buy because we keep kosher(a fact). He said he never heard that before- i explained that we are all Jewish and observe certain rules that require our meat to be prepared(I didn't get into the slaughtering- too long a story) a certain way- and that only an observant Jewish person could do that. Now I realize I should have just shot him- or he should have shot me

anniegetyerfun July 31, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Well, this is certainly not the result of decades of Floridian inbreeding. I mean, based on the photo.

owhatever July 31, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Florida has a lot of sunshine. So does Arizona. Coincidence? I think not.

Gleem McShineys July 31, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Everyone knows "Guns Don't Kill People"

Meaning, don't blame firearms for their ability to easily be used by freakishly paranoid lunatics to murder innocent people.

Also, while we are averting blame, don't blame nonsensical fuckwit bumper-sticker slogans drilled into everyone's head for making it impossible to address cold-blooded murder with reason or logic.

TavariousChinaSmith July 31, 2012 at 2:04 pm

This is like that time Germany stood their ground to the Jews.

Fukui-sanYesOta July 31, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Some of them were holding dreidels in an antagonistic manner. Or diaries.

veence69 July 31, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Someday, a hurricane is going to finally finish the job. This f'er should be thrown in jail and forgotten.

groundhogger July 31, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Stand your ground round.

fuflans July 31, 2012 at 3:51 pm

dude. you got nothing i want to steal.

tessiee July 31, 2012 at 6:35 pm

And then he stole all his steaks and ate them.

hippie13 August 1, 2012 at 6:53 am

I wrote off Florida years ago as a choice for giving my tourist $ and time, I can barely visit family in NC without needing to shower ala silkwood, any suggestions for non crazy places to visit in the US?.

hippie13 August 1, 2012 at 6:57 am

another militant vegan goes over the edge

danielwalldammit August 8, 2012 at 3:56 am

Freezer burn, perhaps?

sullivanst July 31, 2012 at 12:06 pm

In Flah-di-dah, it's as likely the browns as the blahs.

viennawoods13 July 31, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Here's a great example of how to fuck them over.

glasspusher July 31, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Awesome. Yeah, if I get a scammer I try to spend as much time on the phone with them as possible, figuring I'm saving some poor schmuck from them, at least for a while. As a bonus, my family doesn't have to deal with me while I'm thus occupied.One time there was a “you've won a free trip to Las Vegas!” Nahh, not interested in Las Vegas. “OK, how about Florida? Nahh, lived there for 2 years, been there done that…

SayItWithWookies July 31, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Oh shucks — y'all are making me blush.

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