Stocks Rally Due To Romney Win 100 Days In Future, CNBC Declares With Straight Face

The stock market. What is it? It is a collection, or "cooperative," of people who throw bits of paper in the air and scream their faces off. If you are rich, it gives you muneez. If you are poor, it gives your boss muneez. When the stock market goes down , that is because everyone hates the president, but when it goes up , that is because everyone hates the president. If anything, it just makes too much sense! Let us ask CNBC to explain why a stock market surge is due to investors betting on a Romney win, despite the fact that Mitt Romney is not, in fact, actually winning. 

One analysis concludes that last week's sharp three-day market surge can only mean that Wall Street is banking on a victory from Republican Mitt Romney.

That's the logical interpretation one can draw from a rally amid conditions that otherwise would demand a selloff, Morgan Stanley chief U.S. equity strategist Adam S. Parker said in an analysis that asserts there is no other reason now to like stocks than a Romney win.

The conclusion Parker draws is that investors are betting that Romney will unseat President Obama and bring a more business-friendly environment to the White House. [...]

The conclusion, though, isnot completely supported, either by past or present conditions.

Historically, moves higher in the market usually mean the incumbent president is likely to win, while sell-offs simply indicate the challenger is favored, according to research from S&P/Capital IQ.

Oh, so this Morgan Stanley fellow is spouting totally unsupported bullshit, as is made clear in ... let's see, both hands ... the 10th paragraph of this story, "Wall Street Already Betting On Who Wins In November"? Cool, CNBC. Good job, you guys. Keepin' it real.

[ CNBC ]