IOKIYAR  5:13 pm July 30, 2012

Good Job, Republicans, You Finally Found A Dead Voter!

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Just cold votin'Well, you finally found a dead voter besides the one James O’Keefe found, who wasn’t actually dead. But sad face, that is because your candidate for Pinal County, Arizona, supervisor, was voting for his dead girlfriend for five years. Oops.

John Enright, a Republican running for Supervisor of Pinal County, Arizona, ended his campaign on Thursday morning after allegations that his former companion — who has been deceased for five years — has been voting by absentee ballot since her death.

The Pinal Country Recorder’s Office received an anonymous letter several weeks ago claiming that someone had been filling out and mailing absentee ballots addressed to Sheila Nassar, who lived with Enright until she passed away in 2007.

Enright describes Nassar as his high school sweetheart, and “former life companion.”

Pinal County Recorder Laura Dean Lytle told The Arizona Republic that the curious case “is an absolute act of fraudulent voting.”

It’s cool, though. Dude was a Republican, so we’re pretty sure it is allowed.

[NationalMemo]

 
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{ 113 comments }

Maman July 30, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Yeah! Let's purge Republicans from the voting rolls!

kittensdontlie July 30, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Why bother when they purge themselves so effortlessly?!

nounverb911 July 30, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Is Breitbart still voting?

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 30, 2012 at 5:25 pm

I thought only humans had the right to vote.

Doktor Zoom July 30, 2012 at 5:34 pm

So now he's one step closer than he had been?

metamarcisf July 30, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Pretty clever of the GOP to expose one of their own as an excuse to limit the right to vote.

Gratuitous World July 30, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Voter ID!!!
oh wait

actor212 July 30, 2012 at 5:18 pm

WHAR DEF CERFICKICKACK????

MittBorg July 30, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Where have I heard that before?

Blueb4sinrise July 30, 2012 at 5:26 pm

shhh, he's on a roll.

actor212 July 30, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Quiet, you! She's not on this thread yet.

Hammiepants July 30, 2012 at 5:17 pm

OMG BART THE DEAD HAVE RISEN AND THEY'RE VOTING REPUBLICAN!!!

Fare la Volpe July 30, 2012 at 5:22 pm

What better party for bloodsuckers and cannibals?

MittBorg July 30, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Someone's in a mood today, fersure.

Angry_Marmot July 30, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Snowball! Nooo…!

Antispandex July 30, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Kill the brain, you have to kill the brain! Sure it's a tough shot, but try, damn it!….with votes, of course.

actor212 July 30, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Oh. Dear. That's going to leave a mark.

And of course raise the question how O'Keefe missed this in his exahustive investigations.

YouBetcha July 30, 2012 at 5:35 pm

You'd think that after a pimp costume and a houseboat full of dildos he would have made more progress.

bumfug July 30, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Get out, Republicans, run for your lives! The voter fraud is coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!

Angry_Marmot July 30, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Nailed it.

Hedley_Lamarr July 30, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Life Companion? Sounds kinda homo.
RINO!

Negropolis July 31, 2012 at 1:49 am

RINO? Hell, that would make him a commie lib.

RadioBowels July 30, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Time for a baptism!

nounverb911 July 30, 2012 at 5:18 pm

"ballots addressed to Sheila Nassar"
A republican dating a Muslin? Don't tell Michele Bachmannn.

mavenmaven July 30, 2012 at 5:20 pm

She was posthumously baptized so its ok.

MittBorg July 30, 2012 at 5:24 pm

So, she's a Mormon now?

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 30, 2012 at 5:26 pm

We are all Mormons now.

Fare la Volpe July 30, 2012 at 5:28 pm

I for one welcome our tea-totaling, porn-addicted overlords.

MittBorg July 30, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Speak for yourself, John.

Maman July 30, 2012 at 5:51 pm

I think Michele views Sheila as the right kind of muslin. The dead kind.

actor212 July 30, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Enright describes Nassar as his high school sweetheart, and “former life companion.”

Couldn't make an honest woman of the tramp, Enright?

MittBorg July 30, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Ain't made an honest woman outa the one he's living with now, neither. Mebbe he just has a thang about honest wimmen.

RadioBowels July 30, 2012 at 5:29 pm

"former life companion"

He must believe in reincarnation too!

DaveJ July 30, 2012 at 5:19 pm

In his (or her?) defense, all the votes were cast in favor of American candidates who were going to deport Mexicans who are (probably) voting illegally, so her single fraudulent vote prevented like 12,000 fraudulent votes, from Mexicans.

bikerlaureate July 30, 2012 at 7:56 pm

If they just stopped those durn Messicans from walking around free like they (still) owned the place, those fraudulent votes never woulda happened.

kissawookiee July 30, 2012 at 5:19 pm

If we find out that Sheriff Paul "Sweet" Babeu has been voting on behalf of his Mexican boyfriend all this time, I just may lose my faith in Arizona Republicans.

Antispandex July 30, 2012 at 5:19 pm

They FINALLY find fraud, and the guy is one of them…that's gotta hurt! OR, they KNEW there was fraud because they were the ones doing the fraud…either way works for me.

Barb_ July 30, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Poor John Enright, he's two people short of a threesome.

sudsmckenzie July 30, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Raising Arizona Voters.

actor212 July 30, 2012 at 5:25 pm

It's a dry fraud.

Negropolis July 31, 2012 at 1:51 am

Comment of the Week. No, seriously.

GunToting[Redacted] July 30, 2012 at 5:34 pm

"YOU NEVER LEAVE A VOTE BEHIND!!!"

Texan_Bulldog July 30, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Needs more ACORN!!!!1!!!!!111!!!

Or something….Actually, as long as he is white and voting Republican on behalf of his dead girlfriend, I don't see a problem with this.

SorosBot July 30, 2012 at 5:20 pm

And that one extra vote could easily destroy the will of the people, by changing the outcome of the election by about .0001%!

Fare la Volpe July 30, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Margin of error of .000002

a_pink_poodle July 30, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Doesn't count as fraud if it's a Republican doing it!

Antispandex July 30, 2012 at 5:49 pm

"Right! See? That's what I was thinking. I perfectly honest mistake. Ok, I'll give you that, so, five mistakes, but still, nothing intentional here, an easy mistake to make".

Boojum July 30, 2012 at 11:26 pm

She's dead? She was warm last night!

Baconzgood July 30, 2012 at 5:20 pm

I see voters

-the brat from that movie-

Billmatic July 30, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Is this like how it's okay for Obama to assassinate american citizens because he's a Democrat?

MittBorg July 30, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Imagine that. And right after they found out, this mysterious Republican boyfriend-cum-candidate person *resigned* from the race. I has a huge SAD.

Boojum July 30, 2012 at 11:27 pm

Republican-boyfriend-cum is a good description of all of their candidates.

MittBorg July 30, 2012 at 11:35 pm

Oh, ew, couldn't you leave the Republican off?

mavenmaven July 30, 2012 at 5:23 pm

"Do as we say not as we do"…. GOP motto

Troubledog July 30, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Is he also cashing her social security checks?

Jus_Wonderin July 30, 2012 at 5:34 pm

That takes a lot of work. And really, wearing the wig and high heels is a drag.

Geminisunmars July 30, 2012 at 5:43 pm

It's not as hard as all that. Ooops. I may have said too much.

bobbert July 30, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Two words, twice: direct deposit, joint account.

M. Bouffant July 31, 2012 at 12:03 am

Sadly, no. Somehow the SSA finds out & then removes any money paid for the first mo. in which the recipient was totally deceased. True (& embarrassing) story.

James Michael Curley July 30, 2012 at 5:47 pm

But old lady seniors cut their hair short so it stays clean longer and wear flats so they don't fall as far.

bflrtsplk July 30, 2012 at 5:24 pm

By definition, all Republicans are clinically dead from the neck up.

Geminisunmars July 30, 2012 at 5:44 pm

I believe it is from the heart up.

ChillBill July 30, 2012 at 5:25 pm

To be fair, who else is going to vote Republican once the old white people are gone?

bikerlaureate July 30, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Do you have any insight on, y'know, an estimated date for that blessed event?

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 30, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Today is a good day for ACORN.

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 30, 2012 at 5:27 pm

ZOMBIE RIGHTS!!!!!!!

Angry_Marmot July 30, 2012 at 5:46 pm

We prefer the term "differently able".

Schmannnity July 30, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Most Republicans I know are dead inside anyway.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 30, 2012 at 5:29 pm

I can't wait for the Wall Street Journal's lead editorial: "Republican Voter Fraud Must Be Stopped At All Cost."

SorosBot July 30, 2012 at 5:30 pm

"Enright describes Nassar as his high school sweetheart, and “former life companion.”"

Wait, aren't good Republicans supposed to have traditional marriages instead of shacking up?

OneYieldRegular July 30, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Is O'Keeffe in jail yet? Because this would have been a banner day in Cell Block 9.

coolhandnuke July 30, 2012 at 5:31 pm

On the bright side, Enright is a lock for the Pinal County necrophiliac vote.

Negropolis July 31, 2012 at 1:54 am

Which, if I understand it correctly by witnessing Governor Brewer, is quite the voting bloc in a lot of Craziona.

SayItWithWookies July 30, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Stop being so mean — she's not really dead if she's propped up in his rocking chair and he talks to her every day.

nounverb911 July 30, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Norman, Norman Bates is that you?

Jus_Wonderin July 30, 2012 at 5:46 pm

But, just don't get angry with her and raise your voice. She'll fall apart.

bikerlaureate July 30, 2012 at 8:02 pm

And she's spreading fewer lies than the average Republican.

ManchuCandidate July 30, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Isn't this the plot from Edgar Allen Poe's story "The Tell Tale Vote?"

Monsieur_Grumpe July 30, 2012 at 5:36 pm

I would have figured dead people would lean more toward Libertarian.

Jus_Wonderin July 30, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Lean, or fall?

DerrickWildcat July 30, 2012 at 5:36 pm

John Enright (D)
see how easy that was.

fartknocker July 30, 2012 at 5:40 pm

I can't wait to here about how Secretary of State Ken Bennett, who was leading the dog sled of birther stupidity in AZ, will crack down and stop this constitutional crisis. Oh the shame to the GOP and its honest, compassionate conservatives. They should have a Prayer Day in Arizona and call Rick Perry to officiate so this sinner is cast away.

pinkocommi July 30, 2012 at 5:44 pm

I would like to point out that most of the Republitard base is not many heartbeats away from being dead themselves.

coolhandnuke July 30, 2012 at 5:44 pm

I'll bet Enright's "life companion" is–right now–easier on the eyes than Jan Brewer.

James Michael Curley July 30, 2012 at 5:49 pm

When Brewer is five years on the slab she, too, will look better then she does now.

PuckStopsHere July 30, 2012 at 5:48 pm

The votes were counted with a Diebold optical scan machine so it's all good.

coolhandnuke July 30, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Keep fuckin' that dead citizen Enright.

chascates July 30, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Tomorrow Texas will probably elect Ted Cruz as the GOP candidate for Senate. Get ready for another Michele Bachmann/Louis Gohmert clone gumming up the political process. On the plus side Rand Paul will now stand out as a statesman.

Steverino247 July 30, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Mother! Vote!

Gonna need a new poling place as the Bates Motel just isn't what it used to be.

Buckminster July 30, 2012 at 6:14 pm

There's just something so sweet about these guys having the Acme box blow up in their own faces. Heee heee heee!

Badonkadonkette July 30, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Wow, so in all the years Repubelicans have been shrieking about voter fraud, there have been only two cases uncovered – Ann Coulter and this guy? And yet, their ability to withstand the cognitive dissonance that comes with openly embracing everything you claim to despise remains undiminished. Heck, I'm not even mad. That's amazing.

BlueStateLibel July 30, 2012 at 6:26 pm

When Hell is full…the dead will walk the earth and vote Republican.

Arkoday July 30, 2012 at 6:26 pm

How exactly can one tell, though, in AZ? I mean look at Brewer. She looks like she's been dead for 10 years or so and still gets votes.

not that Dewey July 30, 2012 at 6:30 pm

"Nassar" sounds kinda muslin. I can't believe she was able to vote in AZ in the first place.

MinAgain July 30, 2012 at 6:36 pm

I smell a Mayor Daley Lifetime Achievement Award in someone's future.

Guppy July 30, 2012 at 6:40 pm

B-b-but every Republican knows that voter fraud only happens in person, never by absentee ballot! That's why there's no need for legal rigor there!

rickmaci July 30, 2012 at 6:56 pm

I have long held a theory their whole "voter fraud" meme was nothing but a massive bit of projection by the Reptilians. Now we have proof. THEY think everyone else is cheating because THEY are the ones who have been doing that all along. Jeebuz chryst this does beat all.

horsedreamer_1 July 30, 2012 at 7:43 pm

Finally, Andrew Mc Carthy has intersected in a story with Andrew Mc Carthy, & it's not just snark.

CommieLibunatic July 30, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Oh, for fuck's sake!

occams8ball July 30, 2012 at 9:21 pm

I think republican's commitment to accountability and individual responsibility entitles them to a 10% "handicap" at least. except that they hate hate hate entitlements.

Dudleydidwrong July 30, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Nothing wrong with the dead voting. The dead are people, too, my friends. I mean, Clarence Thomas can't be among the living, can he? He's like the late Miss Nassar–never speaks but always votes Republican.

owhatever July 30, 2012 at 9:55 pm

He probably denies that it is her corpse in the rocking chair up in the attic.

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Only Jeebus can vote after death, which is how the right wing preachers know whom and what their "flock" (can sheeples be a flock?) is to vote for.

Boojum July 30, 2012 at 11:31 pm

Fluck?

Biel_ze_Bubba July 30, 2012 at 10:21 pm

I always figured you had to be brain-dead to vote Republican. It's nice to have some actual evidence.

ttommyunger July 30, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Corpses are people, my friend.

smokefilledroomba July 30, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Zoiks! Takes absentee ballots to a whole new level! Nice, Pinal Co.–thank Tripp that Bristol sold her lovely desert shithouse!

Negropolis July 31, 2012 at 1:43 am

Nassar?

So she isn't just dead but Musliny? Sound the conservative alarms. Oh, that's right, they are never, ever off.

Negropolis July 31, 2012 at 1:49 am

You see, Republicans just love America so much that…

Negropolis July 31, 2012 at 1:56 am

Yeah, but he's a Messican (Cuban), so he'll still get shit from even his own tea party. We can look forward to that, at least. Tell me he's not more of an airhead than Kay Bailey. Please.

lulzmonger July 31, 2012 at 3:36 am

POSTHUMOUS SUFFRAGE LIBEL!

DahBoner July 31, 2012 at 8:35 am

Hopefully, this means Arizona will lose it's state charter, and we can sell it back to Mexico!

MittBorg July 30, 2012 at 5:33 pm

I'm guessing you're responding to the "porn-addicted" part of that description.

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