Just cold votin'Well, you finally found a dead voter besides the one James O’Keefe found, who wasn’t actually dead. But sad face, that is because your candidate for Pinal County, Arizona, supervisor, was voting for his dead girlfriend for five years. Oops.

John Enright, a Republican running for Supervisor of Pinal County, Arizona, ended his campaign on Thursday morning after allegations that his former companion — who has been deceased for five years — has been voting by absentee ballot since her death.

The Pinal Country Recorder’s Office received an anonymous letter several weeks ago claiming that someone had been filling out and mailing absentee ballots addressed to Sheila Nassar, who lived with Enright until she passed away in 2007.

Enright describes Nassar as his high school sweetheart, and “former life companion.”

Pinal County Recorder Laura Dean Lytle told The Arizona Republic that the curious case “is an absolute act of fraudulent voting.”

It’s cool, though. Dude was a Republican, so we’re pretty sure it is allowed.


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  • Yeah! Let's purge Republicans from the voting rolls!

    • kittensdontlie

      Why bother when they purge themselves so effortlessly?!

  • nounverb911

    Is Breitbart still voting?

  • metamarcisf

    Pretty clever of the GOP to expose one of their own as an excuse to limit the right to vote.

  • Voter ID!!!
    oh wait


      • Where have I heard that before?

        • Blueb4sinrise

          shhh, he's on a roll.

        • Quiet, you! She's not on this thread yet.


    • Fare la Volpe

      What better party for bloodsuckers and cannibals?

      • Someone's in a mood today, fersure.

    • Angry_Marmot

      Snowball! Nooo…!

    • Antispandex

      Kill the brain, you have to kill the brain! Sure it's a tough shot, but try, damn it!….with votes, of course.

  • Oh. Dear. That's going to leave a mark.

    And of course raise the question how O'Keefe missed this in his exahustive investigations.

    • YouBetcha

      You'd think that after a pimp costume and a houseboat full of dildos he would have made more progress.

  • bumfug

    Get out, Republicans, run for your lives! The voter fraud is coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!

    • Angry_Marmot

      Nailed it.

  • Hedley_Lamarr

    Life Companion? Sounds kinda homo.

    • Negropolis

      RINO? Hell, that would make him a commie lib.

  • RadioBowels

    Time for a baptism!

  • nounverb911

    "ballots addressed to Sheila Nassar"
    A republican dating a Muslin? Don't tell Michele Bachmannn.

    • mavenmaven

      She was posthumously baptized so its ok.

      • So, she's a Mormon now?

        • We are all Mormons now.

          • Fare la Volpe

            I for one welcome our tea-totaling, porn-addicted overlords.

          • I'm guessing you're responding to the "porn-addicted" part of that description.

          • Speak for yourself, John.

    • I think Michele views Sheila as the right kind of muslin. The dead kind.

  • Enright describes Nassar as his high school sweetheart, and “former life companion.”

    Couldn't make an honest woman of the tramp, Enright?

    • Ain't made an honest woman outa the one he's living with now, neither. Mebbe he just has a thang about honest wimmen.

    • RadioBowels

      "former life companion"

      He must believe in reincarnation too!

  • DaveJ

    In his (or her?) defense, all the votes were cast in favor of American candidates who were going to deport Mexicans who are (probably) voting illegally, so her single fraudulent vote prevented like 12,000 fraudulent votes, from Mexicans.

    • bikerlaureate

      If they just stopped those durn Messicans from walking around free like they (still) owned the place, those fraudulent votes never woulda happened.

  • kissawookiee

    If we find out that Sheriff Paul "Sweet" Babeu has been voting on behalf of his Mexican boyfriend all this time, I just may lose my faith in Arizona Republicans.

  • Antispandex

    They FINALLY find fraud, and the guy is one of them…that's gotta hurt! OR, they KNEW there was fraud because they were the ones doing the fraud…either way works for me.

  • Barb_

    Poor John Enright, he's two people short of a threesome.

  • sudsmckenzie

    Raising Arizona Voters.

    • It's a dry fraud.

      • Negropolis

        Comment of the Week. No, seriously.

    • GunToting[Redacted]


  • Texan_Bulldog

    Needs more ACORN!!!!1!!!!!111!!!

    Or something….Actually, as long as he is white and voting Republican on behalf of his dead girlfriend, I don't see a problem with this.

  • SorosBot

    And that one extra vote could easily destroy the will of the people, by changing the outcome of the election by about .0001%!

    • Fare la Volpe

      Margin of error of .000002

  • a_pink_poodle

    Doesn't count as fraud if it's a Republican doing it!

    • Antispandex

      "Right! See? That's what I was thinking. I perfectly honest mistake. Ok, I'll give you that, so, five mistakes, but still, nothing intentional here, an easy mistake to make".

      • Boojum

        She's dead? She was warm last night!

  • Baconzgood

    I see voters

    -the brat from that movie-

  • Billmatic

    Is this like how it's okay for Obama to assassinate american citizens because he's a Democrat?

  • Imagine that. And right after they found out, this mysterious Republican boyfriend-cum-candidate person *resigned* from the race. I has a huge SAD.

    • Boojum

      Republican-boyfriend-cum is a good description of all of their candidates.

      • Oh, ew, couldn't you leave the Republican off?

  • mavenmaven

    "Do as we say not as we do"…. GOP motto

  • Troubledog

    Is he also cashing her social security checks?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      That takes a lot of work. And really, wearing the wig and high heels is a drag.

      • Geminisunmars

        It's not as hard as all that. Ooops. I may have said too much.

        • bobbert

          Two words, twice: direct deposit, joint account.

          • Sadly, no. Somehow the SSA finds out & then removes any money paid for the first mo. in which the recipient was totally deceased. True (& embarrassing) story.

      • James Michael Curley

        But old lady seniors cut their hair short so it stays clean longer and wear flats so they don't fall as far.

  • bflrtsplk

    By definition, all Republicans are clinically dead from the neck up.

    • Geminisunmars

      I believe it is from the heart up.

  • To be fair, who else is going to vote Republican once the old white people are gone?

    • bikerlaureate

      Do you have any insight on, y'know, an estimated date for that blessed event?

  • Today is a good day for ACORN.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    ZOMBIE RIGHTS!!!!!!!

    • Angry_Marmot

      We prefer the term "differently able".

  • Schmannnity

    Most Republicans I know are dead inside anyway.

  • I can't wait for the Wall Street Journal's lead editorial: "Republican Voter Fraud Must Be Stopped At All Cost."

  • SorosBot

    "Enright describes Nassar as his high school sweetheart, and “former life companion.”"

    Wait, aren't good Republicans supposed to have traditional marriages instead of shacking up?

  • OneYieldRegular

    Is O'Keeffe in jail yet? Because this would have been a banner day in Cell Block 9.

  • coolhandnuke

    On the bright side, Enright is a lock for the Pinal County necrophiliac vote.

    • Negropolis

      Which, if I understand it correctly by witnessing Governor Brewer, is quite the voting bloc in a lot of Craziona.

  • Stop being so mean — she's not really dead if she's propped up in his rocking chair and he talks to her every day.

    • nounverb911

      Norman, Norman Bates is that you?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      But, just don't get angry with her and raise your voice. She'll fall apart.

    • bikerlaureate

      And she's spreading fewer lies than the average Republican.

  • Isn't this the plot from Edgar Allen Poe's story "The Tell Tale Vote?"

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I would have figured dead people would lean more toward Libertarian.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Lean, or fall?

  • John Enright (D)
    see how easy that was.

  • fartknocker

    I can't wait to here about how Secretary of State Ken Bennett, who was leading the dog sled of birther stupidity in AZ, will crack down and stop this constitutional crisis. Oh the shame to the GOP and its honest, compassionate conservatives. They should have a Prayer Day in Arizona and call Rick Perry to officiate so this sinner is cast away.

  • pinkocommi

    I would like to point out that most of the Republitard base is not many heartbeats away from being dead themselves.

  • coolhandnuke

    I'll bet Enright's "life companion" is–right now–easier on the eyes than Jan Brewer.

    • James Michael Curley

      When Brewer is five years on the slab she, too, will look better then she does now.

  • PuckStopsHere

    The votes were counted with a Diebold optical scan machine so it's all good.

  • coolhandnuke

    Keep fuckin' that dead citizen Enright.

  • chascates

    Tomorrow Texas will probably elect Ted Cruz as the GOP candidate for Senate. Get ready for another Michele Bachmann/Louis Gohmert clone gumming up the political process. On the plus side Rand Paul will now stand out as a statesman.

  • Steverino247

    Mother! Vote!

    Gonna need a new poling place as the Bates Motel just isn't what it used to be.

  • Buckminster

    There's just something so sweet about these guys having the Acme box blow up in their own faces. Heee heee heee!

  • Badonkadonkette

    Wow, so in all the years Repubelicans have been shrieking about voter fraud, there have been only two cases uncovered – Ann Coulter and this guy? And yet, their ability to withstand the cognitive dissonance that comes with openly embracing everything you claim to despise remains undiminished. Heck, I'm not even mad. That's amazing.

  • BlueStateLibel

    When Hell is full…the dead will walk the earth and vote Republican.

  • Arkoday

    How exactly can one tell, though, in AZ? I mean look at Brewer. She looks like she's been dead for 10 years or so and still gets votes.

  • not that Dewey

    "Nassar" sounds kinda muslin. I can't believe she was able to vote in AZ in the first place.

  • MinAgain

    I smell a Mayor Daley Lifetime Achievement Award in someone's future.

  • Guppy

    B-b-but every Republican knows that voter fraud only happens in person, never by absentee ballot! That's why there's no need for legal rigor there!

  • rickmaci

    I have long held a theory their whole "voter fraud" meme was nothing but a massive bit of projection by the Reptilians. Now we have proof. THEY think everyone else is cheating because THEY are the ones who have been doing that all along. Jeebuz chryst this does beat all.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Finally, Andrew Mc Carthy has intersected in a story with Andrew Mc Carthy, & it's not just snark.

  • CommieLibunatic

    Oh, for fuck's sake!

  • occams8ball

    I think republican's commitment to accountability and individual responsibility entitles them to a 10% "handicap" at least. except that they hate hate hate entitlements.

  • Dudleydidwrong

    Nothing wrong with the dead voting. The dead are people, too, my friends. I mean, Clarence Thomas can't be among the living, can he? He's like the late Miss Nassar–never speaks but always votes Republican.

  • owhatever

    He probably denies that it is her corpse in the rocking chair up in the attic.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Only Jeebus can vote after death, which is how the right wing preachers know whom and what their "flock" (can sheeples be a flock?) is to vote for.

    • Boojum


  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    I always figured you had to be brain-dead to vote Republican. It's nice to have some actual evidence.

  • ttommyunger

    Corpses are people, my friend.

  • Zoiks! Takes absentee ballots to a whole new level! Nice, Pinal Co.–thank Tripp that Bristol sold her lovely desert shithouse!

  • Negropolis


    So she isn't just dead but Musliny? Sound the conservative alarms. Oh, that's right, they are never, ever off.

  • Negropolis

    You see, Republicans just love America so much that…

  • Negropolis

    Yeah, but he's a Messican (Cuban), so he'll still get shit from even his own tea party. We can look forward to that, at least. Tell me he's not more of an airhead than Kay Bailey. Please.

  • lulzmonger


  • DahBoner

    Hopefully, this means Arizona will lose it's state charter, and we can sell it back to Mexico!

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