sleeps with the fishes

Daily Caller: Barack Obama Such A Loser He Only Killed Bin Laden Once

Dude, this photo is so obviously a fake!OH NOEZ Barack H. Christ has not killed Osama Bin Laden dead often enough for the pleasant fellows of the Daily Caller, as their screaming headlines insist he let OBL go three times (before killing him). Let us hear their evidence, which is contradicted by every other instance of deep-dive reporting on the subject, and by somewhat more respected sources, such as anyone in the world who isn’t the Daily Caller!

Here’s Tucker Carlson’s organ, spewing forth.

At the urging of Valerie Jarrett, President Barack Obama canceled the operation to kill Osama bin Laden on three separate occasions before finally approving the May 2, 2011 Navy SEAL mission, according to an explosive new book scheduled for release August 21. The Daily Caller has seen a portion of the chapter in which the stunning revelation appears.

In ”Leading From Behind: The Reluctant President and the Advisors Who Decide for Him,“ Richard Miniter writes that Obama canceled the “kill” mission in January 2011, again in February, and a third time in March. Obama’s close adviser Valerie Jarrett persuaded him to hold off each time, according to the book.

So … no, according to every other news source on the planet. But in any case, Barack Obama takes his orders from ladies.


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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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      1. tessiee

        yes, if she's white. If she's blah and a stay at home mom, then she's a lazy welfare queen with six cadillacs.

    1. DaveJ

      We're talking about Lindsay Graham, so you can just say "porn stash," and everything else is well understood and assumed.

    2. Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Lindsey does often sport a stick-on porn 'stache while going icognito to the DC gay bars…and he wears see-through mesh according to my source (shhh…it's Rob Halford but don't tell anyone), also.

  1. metamarcisf

    Looks like Jarrett was right. This is the stupidest post on the Daily Caller since this morning's porn hack.

  2. MittsHairHelmet

    I hope to god this is the last time I ever have to read the phrase "Tucker Carlson's organ"

    1. elviouslyqueer

      Or the words "explosive" and "release." Unless, of course, they're followed by "in Tucker Carlson's pants that was caused by a particularly virulent strain of dysentery."

    2. CivicHoliday

      The line should read "Tucker Carlson's SHRIVELED organ". That is the only accurate reporting of said events. And instead of "spewing forth" it should read "pussy dribbles"

    3. Willardbot9000_V2.5

      haha…that's what every woman on Earth collectively said…yeah, Fucker isn't too popular with the ladies in spite of his bowties over hot pink satin shirts.

    1. miss_grundy

      He still killed the arsehole more than W ever did– and he did it without wearing a flight suit and showing off his manly parts!

  3. bureaucrap

    BHO is clearly a coward; that's why he let OBL run around freely for seven years.

    Oh, wait…

  4. Barb_

    As a woman, I can attest to the urge to kill once a month and then changing my mind. It usually lasts about five days.

    1. actor212

      And his tub. bin Laden was on the scrub brush battleship and Bush flew the bar of Irish Spring that killed him

      Pew! PewPew! Kprrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroom!

    2. BaldarTFlagass

      Well, all the Number Two and Number Three Al Qaeda guys he killed over the years certainly must have added up to more than just the one Number One.

  5. actor212

    So basically, even allowing for Miniter's fevered faptasy…Obama played it cautiously rather than tip bin Laden's hand that he was onto him.

    And this is a bad thing…how? At least he didn't try baptizing him in absentia.

    1. tessiee

      "At least he didn't try baptizing him in absentia."

      Well, he's still dead, so it's not too late.

  6. ChernobylSoup

    This is exactly how the swift boat thing started with Kerry. Everyone was all "nonsense, nobody will pay any attention to these hacks." Next thing you know, the response to Hurricane Katrina was being managed by George W Bush.

          1. Jus_Wonderin

            So true. When you have worked on one of their games, about 6 months in, you are dieing to see any kind of color.

      1. Baconzgood

        The worst part is that I can't even blame my kids for knowing them. They're into Godzilla and not comic books.

    1. GeorgiaBurning

      OTOH, this is serious business, with Spidey and Cap in the same room as the DC folks. But why did WW take off the bracelets?

        1. GeorgiaBurning

          I'd like to see her use the truth lasso there. Maybe she's saving that gadget for October.

    1. widestanceromance

      And bathing him, too, no doubt. His favorite part is after a vigorous toweling, Mom powders his boy things so he can face the day with confidence.

      1. tessiee

        They might be seated at the same table in Hell, if for no other reason than because it would make both of them miserable.

  7. coolhandnuke

    What a fucking procrastinator-in-chief, taking a whole month to take on a huge under-taking that could destroy his shot at re-election. Contrast that to The Decider who spent seven fucking fucked-up years deciding what the fuck to do.

    1. Abernathy

      But if you average out those seven years with the two seconds it took him to decide to make war with every country whose name he couldn't pronounce, he's looking pretty decisive.

  8. BloviateMe

    Listening to women? WTF?

    Barry, NEVER trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die. Christamighty.

  9. mrpuma2u

    Oh yeah, I have seen a forthcoming book where they say the staff of the Daily Caller are a bunch of former welfare recipient recovering drug addicts. Or something.

    That's their big source? A forthcoming book they've seen? Ugh.

  10. Billmatic

    "Leading from Behind" is actually intended to be an innuendo that suggests Barry is a homosexual.

    1. chicken_thief

      Without the sexual innuendo, wouldn't the title be a more apt fit for Dick Cheney?

  11. Designer_Rants

    Oh YEAH?? Wait til I write MY book, called ”Leading From Goon Town: The Candidate with a Raging Hard-On to Avenge His Daddy's "Brainwashed" Comment From 40 Years Ago, and His Douchey Fuck-Ups of a Campaign Team"

  12. sudsmckenzie

    We all know the best way to deal with Middle Eastern countries is to simply barge in, go a-ridin' into town, a-whompin' and a-whumpin' every livin' thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course.

      1. sudsmckenzie

        Naw, we rape the shit out of them at the Seal Team 6 dance later on.

        (and ty HC, for the setup)

    1. Dudleydidwrong

      That's what Little Tucker wants. Somebody invite him to the Number Six dance so he can get the shit raped out of him.

  13. WIDTAP

    Remind me again, how many al Qaeda attacks were successfully launched on US homeland between January and May, 2011? So the impact of waiting for a good shot was what?

  14. FakaktaSouth

    Hillary looks hot! I have GOT to get me a Wonder Woman costume – and a lasso of truth and some pewpewpew defending wrist-a-cuff things and a black guy to kill people with.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Make sure to also get a couple of black backup singer chicks to sing "Wondah Womaaaaaaan" in the background when you commence to kicking ass. Mmm. Linda Carter.

      1. tessiee

        All superheroes have to have their own backup band to follow them around playing their theme song.

  15. johnnyzhivago

    What a wimp! I heard the reasons he postponed the one of the attacks were that a new episode of "Deadliest Catch" was on that night. Then the next attack was postponed so that SEAL Team Six could attend mandatory gender neutral toilet sensitivity training

  16. tquinn554

    President Obama’s greatest success was actually his greatest failure,” Miniter told The Daily Caller Friday.

    But of course! Well, let's hope for more spectacular failures in Term 2!

  17. prommie

    Gee, don't I remember that Obama said something about prior opportunities he did not feel were assured enough of success to approve? Like, right that day, when he announced it all and stuff?

    1. prommie

      Here is what he said:

      last August, after years of painstaking work by our intelligence community, I was briefed on a possible lead to bin Laden. It was far from certain, and it took many months to run this thread to ground. I met repeatedly with my national security team as we developed more information about the possibility that we had located bin Laden hiding within a compound deep inside of Pakistan. And finally, last week, I determined that we had enough intelligence to take action, and authorized an operation to get Osama bin Laden and bring him to justice.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        It wasn't REALLY THAT "deep" in Pakistan though was it? I mean, really? Just sort of out there in the Pakistani open, no?

        1. Doktor Zoom

          Cheeze, they didn't even have to use "bunker-buster" nukes. Guess it wasn't really a very difficult operation then. Anybody could have done it, really, so why make such a big deal out of it?

  18. SorosBot

    Well of course that image is a fake; I mean Superman, the Flash and Wonder Woman all live in a completely different universe than Captain America and Spider-Man.

    1. Generation[redacted]

      Yeah but as you can see in the picture, the cross-publisher multiverse allows them to get together for their weekly Call of Duty games.

    2. GeorgiaBurning

      That was the first thing I thought, also why Martian Manhunter is there. Are terrorists an interplanetary threat?

  19. Biel_ze_Bubba

    So Bamz should have just blown the shit out of any building where OBL might possibly be, as soon as he was suspected of being there? I'm sure the Pakistanis would not have minded, so long as we got him eventually.

    And of course, the Daily Caller retards posting this nonsense would be howlling that the bits and pieces splattered around the landscape weren't positively identified as bits and pieces of OBL.

    1. An_Outhouse

      Those bombs are just sitting there gathering dust and those buildings don't blow themselves up.

  20. giorgianni

    OMG! He is a socialist muzlim, AND a pussy?!?!

    Mittens would have retroactively called the kill order BEFORE Obama (my bad, OSAMA) was born!

  21. RadioBowels

    Yes, the concept of 'leading from behind' is so weak. Obama invented it. Just look at the whole of military history where all them generals were at the front of the charge.

  22. Exhausted66

    George W. Bush never let him go before not killing him for 8 years. Because W was a leader.

  23. valthemus

    Are they really gonna try to swift boat the Bin Laden take down? Obviously everyone at the Daily Caller is an al-Qaeda loyalist and a terrorist and should be shipped to Gitmo right away! NOW! DO IT NOW!!!

  24. HistoriCat

    OK, I'm not an uber-comics nerd but even I know that SpiderMan is Marvel and most of those other guys are DC. Never cross the streams people!

  25. rickmaci

    Osama is dead, GM and the banks are not and the Republicons couldn't take care of any of it. End of argument.

  26. IonaTrailer

    Fuck you Tucker Carlson. Not only does Barry have bigger cojones than you do … …goddamit, where IS Seal Team Six? Call them in right now.

  27. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You see, you made your first mistake in believing that something like reporting goes into the Daily Carlson. In fact, every night, they just feed old issues of the Weekly Standard and National Review to Tucker Carlson. In the morning, what ever passes through him is the randomly put together and published.

  28. DaSandman

    Meanwhile over at The Temple, Mittens is allowed by Mama Ann to practice his ruthless kung fu on 5th graders and cripples.

  29. Dudleydidwrong

    Better name for the publication: "Daily Flusher" as that's all that it produces. Tucker, go play in the sandbox and leave the adults alone.

  30. SayItWithWookies

    Richard Miniter — editor for Pajamas Media, worked at the Washington Times and editor of a book titled Jack Bauer for President — that Richard Miniter? It's amazing how easy it is to do investigative reporting when you start with your conclusions and then just go find facts that fit.

    1. Blueb4sinrise

      Ah, so that's who was the troll from the other day. ………..Jack Bauer, who's dad was killed either by MI6 or the British NHS

    2. bobbert

      It's amazing how easy it is to do investigative reporting when you start with your conclusions and then just go find invent facts that fit.

  31. Antispandex

    G.W Bush does not kill and/or capture Bin Laden (doesn't even spend that much time thinking about him, really). Hero.

    Barak Obama has it made a top priority to find and capture or kill him. Stupid liberal blah.

    It makes perfect sense, if you don't think about it much.

  32. Fraudulently_Joe

    So, tl;dr, the new wingnut line of the week is that Obama wasn't reckless enough, and the possibility that he might have taken his time and made sure the op went off right on the first try simply proves that he's MORALLY WEAK.

    What a relief, because I was getting tired of hearing about his reckless experiments with the economy (by half-heartedly employing century-old economic principles) and the military (by allowing gay people to serve without lying about who they are and making themselves vulnerable to blackmail)

  33. mavenmaven

    I suppose it is no surprise that one of the blurbs in support of Minitier's book comes from World Net Daily.

  34. ElPinche

    Did Tucker, aka Limp Dick Man, really forget when the Bush's wined and dined the Bin Ladens and had financial connections before and after 9/11? Eh…who really cares what Tucker Nuts thinks. ?

    1. LetUsBray

      See, the fact that Nobama didn't lube the bust up with bacon fat and shove it up bin Laden's ass PROVES he's a sekrit Mooslim </next week's spin>

  35. Veritas78

    Why, Mittens has had Osama baptized five or six times already. Which is way more important in the grand scheme of things.

  36. chascates
    ‘I truly am not that concerned about him’, said President George W Bush on 13 March 2002, after being asked the million-dollar question ‘where is bin Laden?’ once too often. ‘Deep in my heart I know the man is on the run, if he’s alive at all’, said Bush, brushing bin Laden off as ‘a person who has now been marginalized’.

  37. LetUsBray

    So if I understand accurately, the substance, if it can be called that, of this leading doggy-style book's criticism is that the president listens to his advisors, and that's bad, yes?

    Is the problem that the advisors he's listening to aren't PNACy enough, or that he's listening to them while being all black an' stuff? (I know, I know, all of 'em, Katie…)

  38. Terry

    It's sort of like when one teenage girl gets straight A's or has a date with the hot guy in school. The other girls get jealous as hell and try to rip the successful girl to shreds. Comments about her clothes, habits, whatever, doesn't have to be true, as long as its announced to the group with the sound of authority and a curled lip.

  39. Willardbot9000_V2.5

    Next thing you know they'll say Romney secretly killed OBL alongside his closest best buddy in the world Bibi Netanyahu ("we talk in shorthand" Romney….question, is "fuck you" a form of short-hand?). I can't wait for those Rove ads to begin running…watch, they'll do it.

  40. hallmark1

    Good morning:

    Is this really who we want leading America through some of the most dangerous times in world history? I think not!

    Article on the same issue called ""The reluctant leader" starring your President, Barack Obama" at The Political Commentator here:

    Mike Haltman

    The Political Commentator

    Twitter: @ThePoliticalCom

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Yeah, we'd be much better off electing another clueless millionaire doofus.
      Flog your blog elsewhere, clown.

  41. An_Outhouse

    Richard Miniter is a no name welfare wingnut who blogs at Pajama Media – like that's any surprise. Is this a printed book or one of those 'ebook' things?

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