Save the ChildrenDumb California hippies are at it again, trying to nationalize your muneez from your hardworking hands and use it for cosmetic surgery for lowlifes! First they took all the tax dollars in the world and gave it to (former) gang members, just so (former) gang members could their gang tattoos removed and get jerbs. And now they are trying to take your money to give to ho’s to remove their pimps’ names from their bodies from when they were child prostitutes! Have we no concern left for the pimps’ inalienable right to the pursuit of property? CONSTITUTION!!1! Ron Paul! END TEH FED!

From the LA Times:

A man’s name is scrawled across Krystal Lopez’s neck in black lettering like that of a centuries-old manuscript.

It is a bitter souvenir for the 18-year-old Pasadena resident, who has worked hard to sever ties with the former pimp who inspired it and the lifestyle it represents. She has started laser treatments to have the tattoo removed at Los Angeles-based Homeboy Industries, a nonprofit supporting ex-gang members that provides the service for free.

Lopez doesn’t fit the Homeboy profile, though. She has never been in a gang, and as a result, she and others like her are deep in the queue.

“There are girls I know who have three different people on them,” Lopez said. “There is a huge waiting list for [removal services]. The priority is always the gang members.”

But isn’t the priority always the gang members?!

Anyway, some hippie Dem is starting legislation to help prostitutes get their pimps’ brands removed from their flesh, and someone, somewhere, is doubtless pissed off about it. Our money’s on “American Thinker.”


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  • Barb_

    The picture of that prostitot is disturbing to me. Those boots make her legs look short.

  • Stupid pimps. Everyone knows that a woman's body is communal property.

    • CommieLibunatic

      Dude, that is like SO Communist!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    It's probably a lot cheaper to get the nipple and clit rings removed.

  • "A man’s name is scrawled across Krystal Lopez’s neck in black lettering like that of a centuries-old manuscript."

    The K-Lo we know has a "REAGAN" tramp stamp in Comic Sans lettering.

    • jakegittes

      But the tramp stamp has sadly been stretched out due to the ravages of time and a bad diet. It now reads, R E A G A N.

  • IncenseDebate

    Travis Bickel approves.

  • Billmatic

    That picture is of an actual human child, isn't it.

    • Antispandex

      NO! Because that would be kiddy porn, and then BAM!…no more Wonkette. I even heard they are going after those toddler beauty pagents and stuff. Ok, not really, relax! Even IF they did, there would still be disgusting stuff to watch on the Tee Vee…we'll always have the Palins.

    • LastGasp

      My god I think it is. She was probably a contestant in "Little Miss High-Class Hooker," or perhaps "Toddlers And Tiaras."

      • Billmatic

        I bet her mom is standing in the back, wearing the exact same thing coupled with makeup so thick it's like icing on a cake.

        "I got that at Wal-Mart, ain't it the cutest?"

        • Texan_Bulldog

          Mom is also probably about 300 lbs. Apparently, there's something about those pageants that make the moms eat everything in sight.

    • Advn2rgirl

      "Toddlers and Tiaras," baby. I saw it on Tosh.0. She's supposed to be Julia Roberts' Pretty Woman. Her mother intentionally dressed her three year old as a whore.

      • Billmatic

        Daniel Tosh! I thought we were boycotting his chicken sandwiches — or something?

      • CivicHoliday

        I can't WAIT for the T&T Wasilla edition. I can guarantee that as soon as Guido knocks Bristol up with a little girl, she'll have that baby in a sequin tube top and high heels waving the American flag up on stage.

  • Baconzgood

    Hmmmm. How about arresting all the pimps?

    • HistoriCat

      You can't arrest the job creators!

    • MissTaken

      What?? Pimps are the Private Equity arm of the Pimps Up, Hoes Down business.

  • Antispandex

    Pimpin' already aint easy…or so I'm told.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I've got a "W" tattooed on each of my ass cheeks. It was done so that when I bend over, it says "WoW" and when I stand on my head, it says MoM, but I only stand on my head on Mother's Day and her birthday. I wonder if I could get this removed for free. Or why I would want to.

    • Do you often moon your mom upside down?

      • BaldarTFlagass

        As stated, only twice a year. It's hell being an only child.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      More curious about who gets the "WoW" display.

      • Probly the office. I've always wanted to come home and say, "I wowed them at the office again today, honey."

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Guess you'll just have to make the Texas Wonkette meetup (if there ever is one) and find out for yourself!

    • SorosBot

      Man, I've known people who were way too into World of Warcraft but that's really going far.

    • Add an upside-down "A" and hang out upside down, outside MOMA.
      If you did it on Mother's Day, people could have their photos taken with their moms.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Shoot, they'd probably want to put me on permanent display.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Sorry, but we're talking Museum of Modern Art.

    • fartknocker

      I read on Rick Perry's Facebook page that at the top of his ass cheeks, he tattooed the letter D on the left cheek and the letters L-D-O on his right cheek, so when he slightly leans forward to take money from all the lobbyists, it spells DILDO.

  • fartknocker

    I anticipate the GOP response will be grow your hair longer and wear turtlenecks – you sluts.

    • Caelan Aegana

      Wearing a turtleneck gives my DDs the appearance of GGGs. There's that double-standard thing the wingtards love so much…

      • Boojum


  • LastGasp

    Ranchers brand their cattle, and pimps tattoo their names on the hos who are their rightful property. There's a difference?

    • rickmaci

      It's easier to get the hoes to stay put in the "pasture".

  • Oh come on! This is like signing a cast! It'll wear off!

  • Baconzgood

    Is that a photograph of Bristol as a youngling?

  • ProgressiveInga

    Hookers are people, my friend.

    • vasty_derp

      They're the people responsible for Love Canal, right?

    • So they're corporations?

  • pinkocommi

    Surprising that Republitards haven't defended pimps as "job creators" and laws against pimping as "job-killing, anti-business government regulations."

    • Mitt should probably just go with the "KB."

      • Jus_Wonderin

        Lower case. Font size 6.

  • Callyson

    I didn't know Chick – fil – A was also in the tattoo business.

  • MissTaken

    You know the pimp hand is strong when the tattoo is long.

  • coolhandnuke

    They can have my "Huggy Bear" when they remove it from my cold wet butt cheeks.

    • OT but related to Huggy Bear: I saw David Soul on TV last night (Inspector Lewis on PBS). He looks like hell. Or maybe William Shatner, if Shat was a wrinkled up, wet raincoat.

      • viennawoods13

        We saw him on Poirot a while back. Did not recognize him until the credits rolled at the end!

        • He IS a better actor, though, than I ever suspected watching Starsky and Hutch.He had to die a grisly death on Inspector Lewis and he did it masterfully.

      • coolhandnuke

        Does bring to mind "Alias Smith and Jones."

  • With the proper inducement I could find a way to get her right to the front of that line.

  • Goonemeritus

    I’m kind of old fashion doesn’t anyone go for the woodpecker smoking a cigar tattoo anymore?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      You mean the Thrush Mufflers logo? I think they did away with the cigar many years ago…

      • Goonemeritus

        Nope Mr. Horsepower logo from Clay Smith Cams.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Hmm. Tattoos on unwilling victims. You know who else… ?

    No. Not today.

    • littlebigdaddy

      Puerto Rican boys in West Side Story?

  • edgydrifter

    The GOP alternative is to cover up the old tattoo with a fresh one that says "Jesus," unless the pimp's name was also Jesus, in which case too bad, slut.

    • YasserArraFeck

      Then you alter it to "Jeebus" so there'll be no mistake.
      Or, if the hooker is Irish, "Jayzus"

    • mavenmaven

      It is the Valley are talking about, so you got a 50% chance of that being the actual tat…

  • Goonemeritus

    If they named it the Mary Magdalene act the right wouldn’t be able to vote against it. You’re welcome.

    • vasty_derp

      Isn't she Lilly Ledbetter's cousin? Prolly tryin' to start some ho union. Burn her!

    • YouBetcha


  • RadioBowels

    Great. Socialist, unionized prostitutes. I'm sure they didn't "do it" on their own.

  • Billmatic

    I bet I could write the column for the American Stinker

    Overstated, panic inducing opening paragraph/headline "STATE OF CALIFORNIA PAYS WHORES TO FIX MISTAKES"
    Paragraph 1: They made a choice to be a whore and have to be personally responsible for their degenerate acts.
    Paragraph 2: Compare removal of tattoos to abortion.
    Paragraph 3: Anyone who gets a tattoo is irresponsible and companies want responsible people, that's why the best companies do credit checks.
    Paragraph 4: Overstate the tax burden.
    Conclusion: Liberals are bankrupting our country to correct other people's mistakes and compensate for white guilt. Also, this is exactly like abortion.

  • Winona Forever.

    Whispered Johnny Depp.

    • Rosie_Scenario

      Depp had the tatoo altered to "Wino Forever" or so I read, after he and Ryder split.

  • mavenmaven

    I imagine we'll see a lot of pictures like the one above during the Tampa convention.

  • Well if they're extending this removal service to prostitutes, then how about to Anaheim cops with their badge numbers tattooed on their wrist? Talk about bad decisions.

  • SorosBot

    But it was already hard out here for a pimp.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    The GOP will propose an abstinence-only program: prostitutes should show more intitiative, and work for themselves. This, plus stopping and frisking and checking the ID of anybody who looks like is "reasonably suspected" of being a pimp, should solve the problem.

    After being tried for a decade or two in Texas and Arizona, and failing miserably, these proposals will be advanced by the GOP as a national solution to the problem.

  • Normal creeping Socialism. Sure, it might make you feel all warm and fuzzy, but has anyone but the Heritage Foundation thought about what this is doing to the Pimp's property rights?

    • Abernathy

      "has anyone but the Heritage Foundation thought about what this is doing to the Pimp's property rights?"

      I'm sure Cato is on it.

  • StealthMuslin

    Yo! This is such a un-consitushual SLAP against the rightful copyright and trademark owners/pimps/Job-Creators that I hardly know what Chief Justice Scalia is gonna say! Don't these people realize that a 'ho is legally only 3/5ths of a Real Housewife of DC?

    • OzoneTom

      One-fifth for each of the "three different people on them"?

      Now, I'm going to go crack a fifth myself…

  • Blueb4sinrise

    This is good news for Meghan McCain!

    • rickmaci

      Oh come on. That is just so f'ing cute; Ivy League coed with toe tat !!!!

  • Yesterday it was child eating puppeteers and now this. Maybe the government should issue a restraining order against all US adults.

  • ElPinche

    I'd hit it

    • ElPinche

      …………er…I mean I'd spank her because she's dressed like that. "Go to time out!! I told you not to dress like a streetwalker!! "

    • We can all be relieved that you didn't say "I'd eat it."

  • calliecallie

    That little girl's picture is going to be out there on the interweb forever. I wonder how her future employer will feel about it? Jesus, these people.

    • Boojum

      After the first 300 lbs., she won't be recognizable.

    • NellCote71

      Where is Child Protective Services when you need them?

  • chascates

    Unfortunately I'm the 'King of Skin Tags', from the typical small ones in my armpits to one on my left crotch that may soon need an alternation in my pants to have room to breathe. Any chance Californistan would remove them for me? I'm still hoping to make it to Oakland to attend Oaksterdam University and get a job with a real future.

  • BZ1

    Here's a clued out response on the LA Times blog comments: "State and Federally funded tatoo removal? You can emotionally justify just about anything, but there are priorities far above this. wear a patch."

  • littlebigdaddy

    What about trailer park meth-head neck tatoos? Will this bill cover them?

  • ttommyunger

    Little-known factoid: I have the nick-name "TINY" tattooed on my dick. When I think about certain Wonketeers, it spells out "Ticonderoga and New York Railroad", so I've got that going for me, which is nice.

    • Boojum

      Gives new meaning to "pulling a train".

      • ttommyunger

        I've been pulling it for years, and it keeps coming. ;)

  • elgin_pelican

    Is this about the NBA putting ads on uniforms? Headline not clear, need moar sub-heads.

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