WINGNUTS PROBABLY FURIOUS  3:54 pm July 30, 2012

Why Is California Trying To Make It Easier For Prostitutes To Break Away From Their Rightful Owners?

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Save the ChildrenDumb California hippies are at it again, trying to nationalize your muneez from your hardworking hands and use it for cosmetic surgery for lowlifes! First they took all the tax dollars in the world and gave it to (former) gang members, just so (former) gang members could their gang tattoos removed and get jerbs. And now they are trying to take your money to give to ho’s to remove their pimps’ names from their bodies from when they were child prostitutes! Have we no concern left for the pimps’ inalienable right to the pursuit of property? CONSTITUTION!!1! Ron Paul! END TEH FED!

From the LA Times:

A man’s name is scrawled across Krystal Lopez’s neck in black lettering like that of a centuries-old manuscript.

It is a bitter souvenir for the 18-year-old Pasadena resident, who has worked hard to sever ties with the former pimp who inspired it and the lifestyle it represents. She has started laser treatments to have the tattoo removed at Los Angeles-based Homeboy Industries, a nonprofit supporting ex-gang members that provides the service for free.

Lopez doesn’t fit the Homeboy profile, though. She has never been in a gang, and as a result, she and others like her are deep in the queue.

“There are girls I know who have three different people on them,” Lopez said. “There is a huge waiting list for [removal services]. The priority is always the gang members.”

But isn’t the priority always the gang members?!

Anyway, some hippie Dem is starting legislation to help prostitutes get their pimps’ brands removed from their flesh, and someone, somewhere, is doubtless pissed off about it. Our money’s on “American Thinker.”

[LAT]

 
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{ 98 comments }

Barb_ July 30, 2012 at 3:56 pm

The picture of that prostitot is disturbing to me. Those boots make her legs look short.

nounverb911 July 30, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Looks like one of those troll dolls from the 60's.

BaldarTFlagass July 30, 2012 at 4:06 pm

I think that photo was taken at the Lazy Acres Trailer Park Li'l Darlins Beauty Contest last month in the City of Industry.

ProgressiveInga July 30, 2012 at 4:06 pm

I think I saw her on Toddlers & Tiaras, honey boo-boo. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9nbhzKaqvA

viennawoods13 July 30, 2012 at 4:42 pm

I need brain bleach. No, soul bleach.

kittensdontlie July 30, 2012 at 4:08 pm

She's from the reality show 'Little People' and she's a real streetwalker, although last year she was still strolling….they grow up so fast.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 30, 2012 at 4:12 pm

I think it's the next Mrs. Gingrich.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 30, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Isn't that Bristol Palin's Kindergarten photo?

imissopus July 30, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Stupid pimps. Everyone knows that a woman's body is communal property.

CommieLibunatic July 30, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Dude, that is like SO Communist!

BaldarTFlagass July 30, 2012 at 3:58 pm

It's probably a lot cheaper to get the nipple and clit rings removed.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 30, 2012 at 4:16 pm

I, in fact, offer a free service.

ChillBill July 30, 2012 at 3:59 pm

"A man’s name is scrawled across Krystal Lopez’s neck in black lettering like that of a centuries-old manuscript."

The K-Lo we know has a "REAGAN" tramp stamp in Comic Sans lettering.

jakegittes July 30, 2012 at 10:10 pm

But the tramp stamp has sadly been stretched out due to the ravages of time and a bad diet. It now reads, R E A G A N.

IncenseDebate July 30, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Travis Bickel approves.

Billmatic July 30, 2012 at 4:00 pm

That picture is of an actual human child, isn't it.

Antispandex July 30, 2012 at 4:06 pm

NO! Because that would be kiddy porn, and then BAM!…no more Wonkette. I even heard they are going after those toddler beauty pagents and stuff. Ok, not really, relax! Even IF they did, there would still be disgusting stuff to watch on the Tee Vee…we'll always have the Palins.

LastGasp July 30, 2012 at 4:06 pm

My god I think it is. She was probably a contestant in "Little Miss High-Class Hooker," or perhaps "Toddlers And Tiaras."

Billmatic July 30, 2012 at 4:14 pm

I bet her mom is standing in the back, wearing the exact same thing coupled with makeup so thick it's like icing on a cake.

"I got that at Wal-Mart, ain't it the cutest?"

Texan_Bulldog July 30, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Mom is also probably about 300 lbs. Apparently, there's something about those pageants that make the moms eat everything in sight.

Advn2rgirl July 30, 2012 at 4:28 pm

"Toddlers and Tiaras," baby. I saw it on Tosh.0. She's supposed to be Julia Roberts' Pretty Woman. Her mother intentionally dressed her three year old as a whore.

Billmatic July 30, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Daniel Tosh! I thought we were boycotting his chicken sandwiches — or something?

CivicHoliday July 30, 2012 at 6:03 pm

I can't WAIT for the T&T Wasilla edition. I can guarantee that as soon as Guido knocks Bristol up with a little girl, she'll have that baby in a sequin tube top and high heels waving the American flag up on stage.

Baconzgood July 30, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Hmmmm. How about arresting all the pimps?

HistoriCat July 30, 2012 at 4:18 pm

You can't arrest the job creators!

MissTaken July 30, 2012 at 4:26 pm

What?? Pimps are the Private Equity arm of the Pimps Up, Hoes Down business.

Antispandex July 30, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Pimpin' already aint easy…or so I'm told.

BaldarTFlagass July 30, 2012 at 4:01 pm

I've got a "W" tattooed on each of my ass cheeks. It was done so that when I bend over, it says "WoW" and when I stand on my head, it says MoM, but I only stand on my head on Mother's Day and her birthday. I wonder if I could get this removed for free. Or why I would want to.

actor212 July 30, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Do you often moon your mom upside down?

BaldarTFlagass July 30, 2012 at 4:04 pm

As stated, only twice a year. It's hell being an only child.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 30, 2012 at 4:13 pm

More curious about who gets the "WoW" display.

MittBorg July 30, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Probly the office. I've always wanted to come home and say, "I wowed them at the office again today, honey."

BaldarTFlagass July 30, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Guess you'll just have to make the Texas Wonkette meetup (if there ever is one) and find out for yourself!

SorosBot July 30, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Man, I've known people who were way too into World of Warcraft but that's really going far.

mwittier July 30, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Add an upside-down "A" and hang out upside down, outside MOMA.
If you did it on Mother's Day, people could have their photos taken with their moms.
Multi-tasking!

BaldarTFlagass July 30, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Shoot, they'd probably want to put me on permanent display.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 30, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Sorry, but we're talking Museum of Modern Art.

fartknocker July 30, 2012 at 4:30 pm

I read on Rick Perry's Facebook page that at the top of his ass cheeks, he tattooed the letter D on the left cheek and the letters L-D-O on his right cheek, so when he slightly leans forward to take money from all the lobbyists, it spells DILDO.

fartknocker July 30, 2012 at 4:02 pm

I anticipate the GOP response will be grow your hair longer and wear turtlenecks – you sluts.

Caelan Aegana July 30, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Wearing a turtleneck gives my DDs the appearance of GGGs. There's that double-standard thing the wingtards love so much…

Boojum July 31, 2012 at 6:29 am

Feature!

LastGasp July 30, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Ranchers brand their cattle, and pimps tattoo their names on the hos who are their rightful property. There's a difference?

rickmaci July 30, 2012 at 4:52 pm

It's easier to get the hoes to stay put in the "pasture".

actor212 July 30, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Oh come on! This is like signing a cast! It'll wear off!

Baconzgood July 30, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Is that a photograph of Bristol as a youngling?

ProgressiveInga July 30, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Hookers are people, my friend.

vasty_derp July 30, 2012 at 4:13 pm

They're the people responsible for Love Canal, right?

mwittier July 30, 2012 at 4:16 pm

So they're corporations?

pinkocommi July 30, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Surprising that Republitards haven't defended pimps as "job creators" and laws against pimping as "job-killing, anti-business government regulations."

SayItWithWookies July 30, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Mitt should probably just go with the "KB."

Jus_Wonderin July 30, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Lower case. Font size 6.

Callyson July 30, 2012 at 4:05 pm

I didn't know Chick – fil – A was also in the tattoo business.

MissTaken July 30, 2012 at 4:05 pm

You know the pimp hand is strong when the tattoo is long.

coolhandnuke July 30, 2012 at 4:05 pm

They can have my "Huggy Bear" when they remove it from my cold wet butt cheeks.

Jukesgrrl July 30, 2012 at 4:15 pm

OT but related to Huggy Bear: I saw David Soul on TV last night (Inspector Lewis on PBS). He looks like hell. Or maybe William Shatner, if Shat was a wrinkled up, wet raincoat.

viennawoods13 July 30, 2012 at 4:45 pm

We saw him on Poirot a while back. Did not recognize him until the credits rolled at the end!

Jukesgrrl July 30, 2012 at 6:18 pm

He IS a better actor, though, than I ever suspected watching Starsky and Hutch.He had to die a grisly death on Inspector Lewis and he did it masterfully.

coolhandnuke July 30, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Does bring to mind "Alias Smith and Jones."

mrblifil July 30, 2012 at 4:06 pm

With the proper inducement I could find a way to get her right to the front of that line.

Goonemeritus July 30, 2012 at 4:08 pm

I’m kind of old fashion doesn’t anyone go for the woodpecker smoking a cigar tattoo anymore?

BaldarTFlagass July 30, 2012 at 4:13 pm

You mean the Thrush Mufflers logo? I think they did away with the cigar many years ago…

Goonemeritus July 30, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Nope Mr. Horsepower logo from Clay Smith Cams.

BaldarTFlagass July 30, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Hmm. Tattoos on unwilling victims. You know who else… ?

No. Not today.

littlebigdaddy July 30, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Puerto Rican boys in West Side Story?

edgydrifter July 30, 2012 at 4:09 pm

The GOP alternative is to cover up the old tattoo with a fresh one that says "Jesus," unless the pimp's name was also Jesus, in which case too bad, slut.

YasserArraFeck July 30, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Then you alter it to "Jeebus" so there'll be no mistake.
Or, if the hooker is Irish, "Jayzus"

mavenmaven July 30, 2012 at 4:13 pm

It is the Valley are talking about, so you got a 50% chance of that being the actual tat…

Goonemeritus July 30, 2012 at 4:11 pm

If they named it the Mary Magdalene act the right wouldn’t be able to vote against it. You’re welcome.

vasty_derp July 30, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Isn't she Lilly Ledbetter's cousin? Prolly tryin' to start some ho union. Burn her!

YouBetcha July 30, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Brilliant.

RadioBowels July 30, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Great. Socialist, unionized prostitutes. I'm sure they didn't "do it" on their own.

Billmatic July 30, 2012 at 4:11 pm

I bet I could write the column for the American Stinker

Overstated, panic inducing opening paragraph/headline "STATE OF CALIFORNIA PAYS WHORES TO FIX MISTAKES"
Paragraph 1: They made a choice to be a whore and have to be personally responsible for their degenerate acts.
Paragraph 2: Compare removal of tattoos to abortion.
Paragraph 3: Anyone who gets a tattoo is irresponsible and companies want responsible people, that's why the best companies do credit checks.
Paragraph 4: Overstate the tax burden.
Conclusion: Liberals are bankrupting our country to correct other people's mistakes and compensate for white guilt. Also, this is exactly like abortion.

mwittier July 30, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Winona Forever.

Whispered Johnny Depp.

Rosie_Scenario July 30, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Depp had the tatoo altered to "Wino Forever" or so I read, after he and Ryder split.

mavenmaven July 30, 2012 at 4:14 pm

I imagine we'll see a lot of pictures like the one above during the Tampa convention.

SayItWithWookies July 30, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Well if they're extending this removal service to prostitutes, then how about to Anaheim cops with their badge numbers tattooed on their wrist? Talk about bad decisions.

SorosBot July 30, 2012 at 4:16 pm

But it was already hard out here for a pimp.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 30, 2012 at 4:17 pm

The GOP will propose an abstinence-only program: prostitutes should show more intitiative, and work for themselves. This, plus stopping and frisking and checking the ID of anybody who looks like is "reasonably suspected" of being a pimp, should solve the problem.

After being tried for a decade or two in Texas and Arizona, and failing miserably, these proposals will be advanced by the GOP as a national solution to the problem.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 30, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Normal creeping Socialism. Sure, it might make you feel all warm and fuzzy, but has anyone but the Heritage Foundation thought about what this is doing to the Pimp's property rights?

Abernathy July 30, 2012 at 4:35 pm

"has anyone but the Heritage Foundation thought about what this is doing to the Pimp's property rights?"

I'm sure Cato is on it.

StealthMuslin July 30, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Yo! This is such a un-consitushual SLAP against the rightful copyright and trademark owners/pimps/Job-Creators that I hardly know what Chief Justice Scalia is gonna say! Don't these people realize that a 'ho is legally only 3/5ths of a Real Housewife of DC?

OzoneTom July 30, 2012 at 4:38 pm

One-fifth for each of the "three different people on them"?

Now, I'm going to go crack a fifth myself…

Blueb4sinrise July 30, 2012 at 4:22 pm

This is good news for Meghan McCain!
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_NUZ_fM-TQKQ/Set1QvrU8HI

rickmaci July 30, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Oh come on. That is just so f'ing cute; Ivy League coed with toe tat !!!!

swordfis July 30, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Yesterday it was child eating puppeteers and now this. Maybe the government should issue a restraining order against all US adults.

ElPinche July 30, 2012 at 5:03 pm

I'd hit it

ElPinche July 30, 2012 at 5:03 pm

…………er…I mean I'd spank her because she's dressed like that. "Go to time out!! I told you not to dress like a streetwalker!! "

deanbooth July 30, 2012 at 5:13 pm

We can all be relieved that you didn't say "I'd eat it."

calliecallie July 30, 2012 at 5:07 pm

That little girl's picture is going to be out there on the interweb forever. I wonder how her future employer will feel about it? Jesus, these people.

Boojum July 31, 2012 at 6:35 am

After the first 300 lbs., she won't be recognizable.

NellCote71 July 31, 2012 at 6:43 am

Where is Child Protective Services when you need them?

chascates July 30, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Unfortunately I'm the 'King of Skin Tags', from the typical small ones in my armpits to one on my left crotch that may soon need an alternation in my pants to have room to breathe. Any chance Californistan would remove them for me? I'm still hoping to make it to Oakland to attend Oaksterdam University and get a job with a real future.

BZ1 July 30, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Here's a clued out response on the LA Times blog comments: "State and Federally funded tatoo removal? You can emotionally justify just about anything, but there are priorities far above this. wear a patch."

littlebigdaddy July 30, 2012 at 7:20 pm

What about trailer park meth-head neck tatoos? Will this bill cover them?

ttommyunger July 30, 2012 at 11:10 pm

Little-known factoid: I have the nick-name "TINY" tattooed on my dick. When I think about certain Wonketeers, it spells out "Ticonderoga and New York Railroad", so I've got that going for me, which is nice.

Boojum July 31, 2012 at 6:36 am

Gives new meaning to "pulling a train".

ttommyunger July 31, 2012 at 8:21 am

I've been pulling it for years, and it keeps coming. ;)

elgin_pelican July 31, 2012 at 9:18 am

Is this about the NBA putting ads on uniforms? Headline not clear, need moar sub-heads.

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