MIDDLE EAST MITTENS  1:11 pm July 30, 2012

Mitt Romney’s Slaphappy Israel Party: A Roundup

by Jim Newell

Hello Mr. Friend WallMitt Romney had mondo problems winning over the British on the first leg of his diplomatic photo-op vacation, so you know what? Screw the “Special Relationship.” Israel is now more special-er to the United States Empire than England ever was, harumph, so that’s where Mitt Romney spent his last couple of days before jetting off to Poland. Oh, he saw the Western Wall, and some Israeli leaders, and stuff, and oh man, it’s so much better than… it’s just that England… grrr… England is stupid. What did Mitt Romney love the most about Israel?

  • Was Mittens able to get Palestinian leaders to instantly call him a racist? Point: pointed.

    GDANSK, Poland – A top Palestinian aide accused Mitt Romney today of making a “racist statement” when comparing the economic vitality of the Israelis and the Palestinians, but the Romney campaign said his remarks were “grossly mischaracterized.”

    Romney’s statement, the Palestinian said, appeared to credit Israel’s higher income to cultural differences.

    “It is a racist statement and this man doesn’t realize that the Palestinian economy cannot reach its potential because there is an Israeli occupation,” Saeb Erekat, a senior aide to Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas, told the Associated Press. [...]

    The Romney campaign said the candidate’s remarks were “grossly mischaracterized,” pointing to previous statements by the presumptive nominee in which he has discussed nearby nations with vastly different economies. The campaign also circulated a transcript of Romney’s remarks at the private fundraiser, a move they usually reserve for public events only.

  • And why not just give Israel the green light to obliterate the Islamic Republic of Iran whenever it feels like, while on a candidate tour? “The governor” has no objections.

    “If Israel has to take action on its own,” Mr. Senor said in a briefing before the speech, “the governor would respect that decision.”

  • Romney really loves Israel’s socialized health care system. We have to figure out a solution to our health care costs, just like Israel did! (BUT IT MUST NOT BEAR ANY RESEMBLANCE TO ISRAEL’S SUCCESSFUL SYSTEM):

    “When our health care costs are completely out of control. Do you realize what health care spending is as a percentage of the GDP in Israel? 8 percent. You spend 8 percent of GDP on health care. And you’re a pretty healthy nation,” Romney told donors at a fundraiser at the King David Hotel in Jerusalem, speaking of a health care system that is compulsory for Israelis and funded by the government. “We spend 18 percent of our GDP on health care. 10 percentage points more. That gap, that 10 percent cost, let me compare that with the size of our military. Our military budget is 4 percent. Our gap with Israel is 10 points of GDP. We have to find ways, not just to provide health care to more people, but to find ways to finally manage our health care costs.”

Now Romney is in Poland. Will he take it over? If not, the American people will judge him as too weak to be president.

[ABC News, NYT, Buzzfeed]

 

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{ 190 comments }

nounverb911 July 30, 2012 at 1:14 pm

And yet no one asked Mitt about Mormon baptizing Holocaust victims.

vasty_derp July 30, 2012 at 1:20 pm

My understanding is that he was completely isolated from anyone who might ask an inconvenient question, much less an embarrassing one.

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Who cares, if he's willing to bomb Iran?

IncenseDebate July 30, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Finally, someone remembered Poland.

nounverb911 July 30, 2012 at 1:22 pm

It's somewhere in Maine where all the spring water comes from?

MittBorg July 30, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Also cement.

GunToting[Redacted] July 30, 2012 at 3:09 pm

I thought that was Portand (which, strangely enough, it also in Maine).

sullivanst July 30, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Dorset libel!

MittBorg July 30, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Hey, *I* thought it was funny!

Maman July 30, 2012 at 1:24 pm

And Mittens will be there to make sure that the Poles know he will protect them from the Soviets.

chicken_thief July 30, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Where all the girls supporting sick mothers and paying for their college tuition learn to dance, amirite?

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Does he know the Lech Walensa (sp?–gimme a break–it's Polish) led Solidarity, a LABOR union to overthrow the Soviets?

sullivanst July 30, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Wałęsa, apparently. I never knew where that 'n' sound came from, either.

MittBorg July 30, 2012 at 3:29 pm

When Solidarnosc was in the process of freeing the country, American newsreaders confronted with that unfamiliar character transformed it into an 'n.'

sullivanst July 30, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Apparently also BBC newsreaders. Also too, whoever wrote wikipedia's page for IPA for Polish. (Actually, the BBC newsreaders went a little overboard and turned that W into a "b" sound instead of a "v", if I recall my late 80s newscasts correctly)

miss_grundy July 30, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Who cares? Walesa is supporting Romney, which makes him a rat bastard in my book. How can anyone who led a labor union support Romney. Lech Walesa is a screwed up idiot bastard!

doloras July 30, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Ronald Reagan led a labor union.

M. Bouffant July 30, 2012 at 10:52 pm

Naw, it's a "guild."

glasspusher July 30, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Kielbasi and vodka FTW

Limeylizzie July 30, 2012 at 1:14 pm

A schande for the goyim.

Chichikovovich July 30, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Romney's a goyim who always remembers to pack a few extra clean schandes when he travels.

You never know when you'll use up more than you expect.

bumfug July 30, 2012 at 1:15 pm

I liked the part where he went to the Western Wall and kept asking where the whales were.

nounverb911 July 30, 2012 at 1:16 pm

New Jersey?

Chichikovovich July 30, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Can't blame him. He was so proud of having finally met their Prince.

GeorgiaBurning July 30, 2012 at 1:31 pm

He didn't mention that his wife's family was from Wales? Well, part of the software patch worked.

Antispandex July 30, 2012 at 1:45 pm

And did they try to photoshop out his yarmulke? Because, Mormen aren't supposed to pray with their heads covered…I wonder if he was faking it? Also, too, don't start with the jokes about Ann faking it, OK? This is a serious discussion!

Tengu July 30, 2012 at 1:15 pm

"I see nothing wrong with those remarks." – Reggie White

coolhandnuke July 30, 2012 at 1:16 pm

"Tear down that wall Mr. Netanyahu."
–Mitt Romney

BaldarTFlagass July 30, 2012 at 1:16 pm

I like that picture of Mitt secretly converting the Wailing Wall to Mormonism.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 July 31, 2012 at 2:31 am

I thought he baptized it before heading out that way so he wouldn't be touching a gentile's holy wall with his delicate and pasty Mormon hands.

rmjagg July 31, 2012 at 11:11 pm

if he had tried to do that , the wailing wall would have fallen on him , squashing him like a bug , like the British did ….

Jus_Wonderin July 30, 2012 at 1:17 pm

I bet he kicks off his Poland press conference with a Polish joke.

Isyaignert July 30, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Count on it!

OurDailyBread July 30, 2012 at 4:48 pm

I'm going lay 10K on him saying something about how pro-business the National Socialists were.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 30, 2012 at 1:17 pm

So, was Mitt's prayer that he shoved in the Western Wall for his horse to win a gold medal? Or just for tax cuts for those making over $1,000,000?

Willardbot9000_V2.5 July 31, 2012 at 2:33 am

Both…and he also asked for carried interest to be tax free and for the corporate tax to suddenly become 0. It was at this point Mittens (by his definition as the other wishes were economic policies that benefit himself at most people's expenses like any good Republican crafts policies) he asked to own his very own slave. Mormon god heard after demanding he baptize Simon Weisenthal and bequeathed unto him the biggest quisling on Earth Sean Hannity…and lo Mittens was but saddened in his robot heart for God didn't take into account that while Hannity is slavishly devoted to the GOP, he's also pasty, soft and a moron who can't even clip a lawn. Mittens now wishes he'd beg god for a slave brown….

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 30, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Well, after embarrassing himself in England and Israel, Mitt Romney is looking forward to Poland. He has a great joke to tell the polls about the Polish terrorist who was sent ot blow up a car.

Mumbletypeg July 30, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I am actually cringing — re: this man I don't give a damn about, mind you — at the possiblity of Mitt attempting humor while there… then say, something in his wiring misfires and he blurts utmost nonsense-salad out. If so, may it be through his nose so I can at least laugh and not cry.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 30, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Well, Mitt has been programmed with the latest humor software that allows him to be nearly as funny as your normal FOX News show.

Isyaignert July 30, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Is this the same Polish terrorist who burned his lips trying to blow up a car?

I'm Polish and have heard them all!

sullivanst July 30, 2012 at 3:20 pm

In England, that's an Irish joke, made "funnier" by the actual existence (during my childhood) of actual Irish terrorists, very few of whom had burnt lips.

Isyaignert July 30, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Thankfully those days are history.

Goonemeritus July 30, 2012 at 1:19 pm

I don’t suppose Mitt has gotten around to posthumously baptizing John Paul II yet.

MittBorg July 30, 2012 at 2:50 pm

He will, Goon. He will.

PubOption July 30, 2012 at 4:57 pm

If the Catholics make JP II a saint, will that put him off limits to the Mormons?

Mittens Howell, III July 30, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Romney installs glory hole in wailing wall, offers 'diplomatic briefing' to Netanyahu.

MittBorg July 30, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Not "pants-and-briefsing"?

nounverb911 July 30, 2012 at 1:19 pm

So when Israel attacks Iran, who will Mittens blame for the doubling? tripling? of the price of oil it will cause.

qwerty42 July 30, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Is the Mittster authorizing a war against Iran? This will have all our allies on board. From Balloon Juice:


Now, here is the thing. This basically moves the goalposts significantly. It moves the issue from preventing the acquisition of nuclear weapons to the existence of a nuclear program at all. This isn’t actually current USG policy. And what’s more, it is a goal that is virtually impossible to get support for internationally since under international law, Iran has an absolute right to peaceful nuclear energy, and that includes enrichment activities consistent with that.

The issue with Iran is that the UN Security Council has asked Iran to stop enrichment until a proper transparency regime can be establish, not as a permanent constraint. There is a difference between trying to ensure that Iran does not use legitimate nuclear activities as a cover for weapons development versus the notion that any Iranian nuclear activity is, in itself, unacceptable. The Senor position, if truly accepted by Romney, is a huge gift for Iran since it means that the Iranians can be confident that a Romney administration, now out of step with international law, would be unable to tighten the screws with more sanctions.

MittBorg July 30, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Thank you. I really should make a habit of reading Balloon Juice.

chicken_thief July 30, 2012 at 1:35 pm

The Kenyan Usurper in the WH, of course.

sullivanst July 30, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Is this one of those rhetorical questions?

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Same as ever: overregulation (even though there wd. be none under this dipshit and the dipshit Rs in congress) and America's pussiness about drilling in Anwar, Yellowstone and fracing (another spelling challenge for moi) under Manhattan.

Isyaignert July 30, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Duh, Obama, of course!

BaldarTFlagass July 30, 2012 at 1:19 pm

"Romney’s statement appeared to credit Israel’s higher income to cultural differences."

Well, cultural differences maybe, or maybe the fact that Israel is one of the largest recipients of US foreign aid when compared to how much Palestine gets?

sullivanst July 30, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Well, Israel's occupation of the Palestinian territories has become ingrained into their culture.

MiniMencken July 30, 2012 at 1:57 pm

No, it's them yehudis just got a knack for piling up the long green. Kinda like the colored and dancing.

MittBorg July 30, 2012 at 2:53 pm

That's what Mittens was trying to say.

doloras July 30, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Some Yehudis are also good at entertainment, like Yehudi Menuhin.

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2012 at 2:20 pm

No one ever mentions that Israel gets more American "aid" money than any other country. My view of Israel is that, if we say "jump" there should be only one answer from them and it sure as hell isn't "no."

MittBorg July 30, 2012 at 2:54 pm

They think we should be grateful that when we say "Jump," they fire at our feet and miss.

gullywompr July 30, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Mitt, quick, what's the difference between GDP and government spending?

Yeah, I thought so….

sullivanst July 30, 2012 at 1:48 pm

One's useful for making things look smaller when you want to diminish them, the other's useful for making things look bigger when you want to emphasize them, and neither is sufficiently familiar to most Americans for them to notice the obscene deception you just attempted.

ThundercatHo July 30, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Where's the video of him smacking his forehead against the wall repeatedly?

widestanceromance July 30, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Prolly with the video of Ann wearing a glory hole sheet and Willard wearing a smile-like formation.

randcoolcatdaddy July 30, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Poland? Does he have investments there or something?

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2012 at 2:22 pm

No, but evidently, they have enough rich bankers there to give him a fundraiser. Like the assholes responsible for LIBOR rigging in London.

boobookitteh July 30, 2012 at 1:20 pm

His advisors just announced his first activity in Poland will be to visit the factory that makes screen doors for submarines.

metamarcisf July 30, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Welcome to Warsaw, the City of Handjobs

sewollef July 30, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Now he's left Israel, he's probably going to visit the Treblinka death camp to put his foot in his mouth. That'd make a trifecta of shit-storms in one visit to Europe.

Fabulous.

chicken_thief July 30, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Really? ***adding "Warsaw" to list of must visit****

Designer_Rants July 30, 2012 at 1:22 pm

A Palestinian equals 3/5ths of an Israeli.

Dr_Zoidberg July 30, 2012 at 1:24 pm

What if I use the metric system?

nounverb911 July 30, 2012 at 1:28 pm

54%, (I tithed ten percent to the Mormons).

Designer_Rants July 30, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Yes, but 54% of what? If you use Standard Israelis, that comes to about 90 lbs. If you use Americanized Israelis, it comes to about 400 pounds, plus or minus a Chick-fil-A sammich.

Spurning Beer July 30, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Healthcare shmelthcare. Do they have Chick-Fil-A places here?

bureaucrap July 30, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Hey Mitt, no reason to wait until you're president to start WW III! Why not just fly to Tehran right now and give a solid kidney punch to Ahmedinijad? that'll show him who's boss!

chicken_thief July 30, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Ahmedinijad is a little bitty fucker. Mittens could pin him down and cut his faggy hair.

doloras July 30, 2012 at 7:34 pm

He already knows who's boss. Ayatollah Khamanei.

SexySmurf July 30, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Looking at that picture I can't tell, which one is the crumbling chunk of rock with zero personality and which one is the Western Wall?

ChillBill July 30, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Mitt is Wall-E.

miss_grundy July 30, 2012 at 2:30 pm

No, Wall-E is a sweetheart. Mitt is a rat bastard son of a trollop and a pimp.

kittensdontlie July 30, 2012 at 2:14 pm

The tell is that The Wall is warm from the touch and wet with tears of humanity…not so for the Mittless.

MacRaith July 30, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Bah. If you're going to let a little thing like an Israeli occupation disrupt your economy, you just aren't hard-working enough.

Of course, it would be terribly wrong for the Palestinians to work hard to end that occupation. Musn't get uppity.

chicken_thief July 30, 2012 at 1:39 pm

That Israel is high on the list of US largess prolly has nothing to do with it either. Also. Too.

Goonemeritus July 30, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Snark aside the whole Palestinian Israel prosperity comparison is a standard right wing meme. So this was less a mistake and more a shout out to the more racist components of his Party.

Chet Kincaid July 30, 2012 at 2:04 pm

"And what's with those Native Americans?! Reservations are full of suicide and alcoholism, while adjacent America is the greatest country in the world! They just don't have the same cultural values we have!"

Spurning Beer July 30, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Oh, Bibi, I've got some good news about those missing tribes of yours.

Mumbletypeg July 30, 2012 at 1:44 pm

I read this initially as "got some good jokes" about… yeah, Mitts, NO.

qwerty42 July 30, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Time is running out! Can the Mittster get the Poles and the USSR to go to war? (Actually, it has run out since the USSR hasn't been around since 1991, but, heck, details, details!)

Dr_Zoidberg July 30, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Look at that picture of Mittens at the Western Wall….does he ever not look smug?

Boojum July 30, 2012 at 2:32 pm

He's thinking how much he could sell it for.

Hammiepants July 30, 2012 at 1:24 pm

I hope he makes a joke about Poland's cavalry during WW2 and works in Rafalca somehow, thereby dissing Poles, his old lady, and horses.

Mittens Howell, III July 30, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Mitt's campaign is inspired by the Polish Cavalry.

Gratuitous World July 30, 2012 at 1:25 pm

his experience as a private equity firm CEO has prepared him well.

Dr_Zoidberg July 30, 2012 at 1:26 pm

"And you’re a pretty healthy nation,” Mittens said, then went on to suggest that the Jews would be great at all kind of building projects, like pyramids.

chicken_thief July 30, 2012 at 1:41 pm

"pretty healthy". Like they don't surpass the USA in all metrics.

MiniMencken July 30, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Healthy, you say? You should be so healthy, Mitteleh! Do you know what the doctor told us just yesterday?

Chet Kincaid July 30, 2012 at 2:05 pm

My God, why did he even go there (healthcare)??

sullivanst July 30, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Unforced errors are his specialty.

Actually, no, they're more of a minor. His major is of course blatant lies.

miss_grundy July 30, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Because he is an ARSEHOLE!!!!!! Most civilized countries have better health care systems than we do, yet this bonehead will turn around and make disparaging remarks about companies that he has helped make millions, if not, billions of $$$. I'm sure quite a lot of health care companies were able to make money off his vulture capitalist company!

MittBorg July 30, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Can't help himself. I'm beginning to think (1) Shelly Adelson *really* hates Mitt (didn't tell him he was flying into, and scheduling a DINNER on, Tisha B'av); and (2) Mitt REALLY doesn't want to win this thing. He just basically handed Barack a big stick to beat him with.

MittBorg July 30, 2012 at 3:00 pm

At least he didn't blarbgarbl on about how Jerusalem was like a Mecca for the Jews and congratulate them on their crusade against disease.

edgydrifter July 30, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Weird underclothes, dietary restrictions, a "cultural" aptitude for amassing wealth–Romney must feel right at home. Maybe he'll decide to run for President of Isreal.

Veritas78 July 30, 2012 at 8:10 pm

It did seem like he was running to be King of the Jews.

Not_So_Much July 30, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Stand by for Mitt's collection of 50's era Polack jokes in 3…2…

SorosBot July 30, 2012 at 1:26 pm

But have Mitt and Bibi become good friends again, like they used to be in Mitt's imagination?

MittBorg July 30, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Do you get the feeling that both Bibi and Shelly were hoping a different candidate would win, and they both don't like Mitty very much? I mean, how fucking rude is that for Bibi to totally diss Mittens and act like he barely remembers him?

sewollef July 30, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Anne Frank watch out…. Mittens is heading in your direction — again.

MittBorg July 30, 2012 at 3:04 pm

That's OK — they're co-religionists. (Now.)

Angry_Marmot July 30, 2012 at 4:12 pm

"A leveraged buyout means this jam factory will run more efficiently, and help the economy, too."

BaldarTFlagass July 30, 2012 at 1:28 pm

"Romney’s statement, the Palestinian said, appeared to credit Israel’s higher income to cultural differences."

Yo, Palestinian dude, it wasn't cultural differences he was crediting. Check out your skin tone against that of Bibi.

doloras July 30, 2012 at 7:41 pm

Even in Israel, white Euro-Jews discriminate against teh brown and black Jews.

FakaktaSouth July 30, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Why didn't he tell them all about the jobs they were killing by saving all those people? Why didn't he try to help these Jews die faster? Doesn't he want them all to die so he can save their souls?

I HATE this guy.

PuckStopsHere July 30, 2012 at 2:01 pm

He is not substantial enough to hate, sweetheart. BTW, I was going to tell Mrs. Puck about the Fuck, Marry, or Kill thing, but I'm worried that she might decide that that's the kind of Trifecta she'd like to hit, so, you know…

BoatOfVelociraptors July 30, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Well, you have to understand the uncertainties that the Job Creators face. In the US, you have to think about a 3% adjustment of the tax rate for the second and third quarter million dollars you pay yourself.

Palestinian Job Creators only have to worry about men with Uzis showing up, shooting people, taking property, that sort of thing.

Hera Sent Me July 30, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Memo to Mitt Romney:

Regardless of what you've been told –

The fly isn't Poland's national bird.

Polish submarines don't have screen doors.

Poles do not put their initials on their shirt sleeves so they can have monogrammed handkerchiefs.

A Polish firing squad does not form a circle around its target.

The most successful Polish kamakaze pilot did not fly thirty missions.

TavariousChinaSmith July 30, 2012 at 3:14 pm

And the long hard thing a Polish bride gets on her wedding night is not a new last name. Ok, that one might be true.

eggsacklywright July 30, 2012 at 1:30 pm

So Romney's a bishop in the Moron Church of Plates. Guess that makes him a bishop-prick.

widestanceromance July 30, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Let's see Mr. Strong on Strength take his Mock Bus Tour for a spin around the disputed Gaza. I bet he'd get a real warm reception from the less-well-off-so-obviously-inferior Palestinians as he taunts them with the honking and jeering.

NorthStarSpanx July 30, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Mitt is grossly characterized.

BaldarTFlagass July 30, 2012 at 1:34 pm

And embarassingly interpreted.

arihaya July 30, 2012 at 4:23 pm

"Mitt is gross"

fixed for ya

Chichikovovich July 30, 2012 at 1:31 pm

[From earlier thread, but now on-topic]
In the movie "Breaker Morant" there's a terrific moment when an eager-beaver ass-kissing young King-and-Country aide is discussing the delicate situation in South Africa with Lord Kitchener. Kitchener is describing how the Germans are just dying to have an excuse to enter the conflict, ostensibly to protect the Boers from English mistreatment. Kitcher then says that of course, the Germans have no concern at all for the welfare of the Boers, they are just interested in the gold and diamonds of South Africa.

The aide says keenly: "They lack our altruism, sir!"

Kitcher looks at the eager-beaver aide in disbelief that anyone could be so naive, then satisfied that the aide was not being a smartass, says dryly, with a still vaguely disbelieving air: "Yes. Quite".

I imagine the 40 wealthy donors all had that Kitchener look on their faces when eager-beaver Romney came out with those pearls of analysis.

miss_grundy July 30, 2012 at 2:41 pm

No, they probably ate that shit up with a shovel. Because the doofus now wants to get the U.S. involved in a war with Iran to help the Israelis. Of course, you won't see Mitt's sons joining the fight 'cause they are too busy making money at their vulture capitalist firm. But they will push all the poors, blue-collar and lower-middles to join up, don't cha know.

coolhandnuke July 30, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Mitt's speech to the Polish Business Association: "As a job creator and successful leader of many corporations, I stand before you today to commend Poland and its' creativity in the pursuit of new and innovative products, like the inflatable dart board, helicopter ejector seats and solar powered flashlights.

bobbert July 30, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Remarkably enough, at least the last two things exist.

coolhandnuke July 30, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Nice catch, you spotted my macguffin.

Boojum July 30, 2012 at 2:36 pm

And don't forget dehydrated water!

Isyaignert July 30, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Just add water and presto – water!!

miss_grundy July 30, 2012 at 2:41 pm

What? No car elevators??????

Billmatic July 30, 2012 at 1:31 pm

I love that Mitt is doing this to show off his credibility in the department of international relations and he's instead demonstrating without a doubt that he has none.

BaldarTFlagass July 30, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Did he distribute copies of The Watchtower to the attendees? Oh, sorry, wrong magazine/wrong cult.

ManchuCandidate July 30, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Rmoney is the new Polish joke.

He really is about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

johnnyzhivago July 30, 2012 at 1:32 pm

If Israel is superior to Palestine because of it's higher incomes, then I guess Saudi trump the Jews?

And New York culture is superior to Arkansas culture.

Romney is truly a twit.

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2012 at 2:27 pm

"And New York culture is superior to Arkansas culture" not to mention Utah.

DahBoner July 30, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Yo!–Saudi Royal Family

SayItWithWookies July 30, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Mitt's strategy for dealing with the constant litany of stupid, selfish, offensive and narrow-minded bullshit that he keeps saying — cut off the press from finding out about them and there'll be less bad publicity. Hell, it was either that or alter his behavior and maybe try being smarter and more considerate — and if that was the solution it would be like admitting he wasn't one of the Elect, so that was clearly the wrong choice.

chicken_thief July 30, 2012 at 1:50 pm

As long as he can keep lying about what Obummer sez, and attacking those phony quotes, he'll have plenty to stump on and rally the base. To the extent that Mittens is capable of "rallying" anyone.

IncenseDebate July 30, 2012 at 1:34 pm

When is Mitt visiting his ancestral homeland Mexico?

HistoriCat July 30, 2012 at 2:08 pm

We only talk about that in quiet rooms.

miss_grundy July 30, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Why? He needs to go and visit his daddy's ancestral home and see what kind of welcome he gets from the nom-Mormons. That would be a hoot!

MittBorg July 30, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Mitt needs his own Cone of Silence.

Monsieur_Grumpe July 30, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Jeez, who elected him president?

Seriously, Mitt needs to shut up. The situation in the Middle East is hotter than a three pecker billy goat and we don’t need some self-elected pseudo-diplomat in training to screw things up worse

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Yes, but the worse it gets, the higher oil prices go, which they can blame on Obama. See? Karl Rove is behind this whole fucked up trip.

finallyhappy July 30, 2012 at 4:31 pm

what is a three pecker billy goat- what does that mean?

Monsieur_Grumpe July 30, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Colloquialisms often don't make sense. For example, when things went wrong my Uncle Dester used to say “The cat's in the applesuace again!”. Uncle Dester was kind of slow.

The 3 pecker Billy Goat is not a common phrase but you can google it. The insinuation is that the more penises (peckers) one has the hornier (hotter) one gets.

johnnyzhivago July 30, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Romney actually does make GW Bush look like Winston Churchill…

Antispandex July 30, 2012 at 1:36 pm

You have to understand, when you are pandering, it is hard to pander to more than one group at a time. I'm sure if Mitt wanted to be around the Palestinians, he would have pandered to them too. Now, it's on to Poland to meet with more of his kind of people (meaning, whoever is in front of him at the time).

iburl July 30, 2012 at 1:37 pm

I wonder how many holocaust victims he converted to mormonism when he was Ameri-praying on that wall?

iburl July 30, 2012 at 1:38 pm

What's the over-under on him calling the Poles "Pollocks"?

chascates July 30, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Did he figure out which is the lox and which is the bagels?

johnnyzhivago July 30, 2012 at 1:39 pm

OT, but just to show people that some Christians are not raving lunatics hoping for the end times, my church the PCUSA has just called for a boycott of Israeli goods made in settlements in the occupied lands:
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=4700342796

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2012 at 2:31 pm

I'm jealous. The UMs didn't do that at Gen. Conf, as far as I know.

ps PCUSA? Would that be the real Presbyterian church?

johnnyzhivago July 30, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Yes, PCUSA is the real one! :)

sullivanst July 30, 2012 at 1:39 pm

And the preemption of final status talks (didn't he whine loudly about that when Obama didn't do it but Mitt said he did?) doesn't even get a mention…

bikerlaureate July 30, 2012 at 1:47 pm

It warms my heart to see any foreign official refer to Rmoney as "this man".

chicken_thief July 30, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Mitt is thanking all the gods that if Israel takes his words to heart and starts WWIII, he will be so old he won't have to actively avoid the draft this time.

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Because he's way too old to ride a bike around Bordeaux and try to talk them into converting to an anti-wine religion–strike that–cult, even if he slept in a castle like the old days.

Terry July 30, 2012 at 1:55 pm

"“We spend 18 percent of our GDP on health care. 10 percentage points more. That gap, that 10 percent cost, let me compare that with the size of our military. Our military budget is 4 percent. "

Mitt is playing with the numbers here. Overall DoD spending has been increasing. You want GDP to rise over time, but presenting the DoD budget as a percentage of it is disingenuous. I do agree with him, though, that our health care spending should be more in line with Israel's. Let's put in single payer, socialized medicine immediately.

sullivanst July 30, 2012 at 2:14 pm

He's also quoting a Federal budget line as a percentage GDP, not of, say, total Federal expenditures, and excluding state-level Guard expenditures. Then he compounds the deceit by comparing it against total healthcare expenditures, only about half of which are government expenditures, but that half does include state-level Medicaid, S-CHIP and other expenditures so still wouldn't be apples-to-apples.

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2012 at 2:35 pm

As a wise man once said, he just states facts he pulls out of his magic underwear.

BlueStateLibel July 30, 2012 at 1:56 pm

And the Mitt Rmoney comedy tour rolls on…

PuckStopsHere July 30, 2012 at 2:04 pm

It is apparent to me, based on Mr. Romney's comments regarding Israel's health care system, that the United States is not spending NEARLY enough on defense. Spending less on war than on keeping our people healthy is madness. And Socialist, too. Or Marxist. I keep forgetting. Could somebody help me out on that?

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Facist Zulu Muslim anti-colonial communist.

You're welcome.

MiniMencken July 30, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Did you hear the one about the Polish candidate?

Franknflower July 30, 2012 at 2:10 pm

I saw him stick a wish note in the Wall's crack. Wonder what he asked for?

RadioBowels July 30, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Please Moroni, don't make me show my tax records and, make me President.

mr bojangles July 30, 2012 at 2:24 pm

'you jews are the right height' mitt proclaimed.

barto July 30, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Is the Pope Polish? Maybe Rmoney can mormon-stype-baptize him as a sort of act of good faith.

under_score July 30, 2012 at 2:38 pm

I did not know, but should have realized, that GDP per capita is a measure of cultural worthiness. So when is Rmoney visiting Qatar?

shiningmathpath July 30, 2012 at 2:57 pm

"Netanyahu embraced Romney as no Israeli prime minister has ever before embraced a candidate running against an incumbent U.S. president." (Barak Ravid, Haaretz)

"Be Gentile with me, Bibi …"

rickmaci July 30, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Some foreign policy genius this Twitt guy is. He has threatened war with China and Iran and blasted Russia, calling that nation America’s “number one geopolitical foe,” and a danger to Czechoslovakia, a country that no longer exists. Then he went to Europe and so far has managed to piss all over the two week party being thrown by our long time allies in the UK and throw gasoline on the fire between Israel and Palestine. Given a bit more time he could start WWIII, with everybody against us. What a maroon.

James Michael Curley July 30, 2012 at 3:14 pm

I have seen the picture above in several venues today. It's the only one I have seen and the question is yarmulke?

arihaya July 30, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Mittens held his fundraiser in King David Hotel where dozens of Brits were killed by radical Jewish bombers.

He REALLY hate them Brits for calling him Mitt the Twit, apparently

BZ1 July 30, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Now off to Poland, and who else had an urge to go there?

Robman2 July 30, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Solidarnosc back at ya Mitt.

DahBoner July 30, 2012 at 4:09 pm

This is like saying American Indians haven't reached their full potential building shopping malls, creating air pollution and poisoning the water table with fracking chemicals, because….values of White People.

MRjonz July 30, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Mitt’s in Poland now, meeting with Prime Minister Donald Tusk. My guess is they will not talk about the CIA Black Site near village of Stare Kiejkuty.

arihaya July 30, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Mitt is going to Poland because if he go to Germany instead, he cannot stop mentioning the war.

Veritas78 July 30, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Soon to be diagnosed as Mittourette's Syndrome.

rocktonsam July 30, 2012 at 4:37 pm

as long as he is in the neighborhood, Mittard should stop in Russia to see Putin and fix things there too.

Veritas78 July 30, 2012 at 8:46 pm

If this is what he says in public, just imagine what he says in "quiet rooms."

ttommyunger July 30, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Mittens was overheard snarking to Ann about how:"These poor fuckers can't even afford propellers for their Beanies.".

lulzmonger July 31, 2012 at 4:26 am

The joke's on Romney: touching Teh Big Wailer makes you instantly Jewish, no backsies.

x111e7thst July 31, 2012 at 1:15 pm

World tour over Mitt-man can go back to his more usual pastime of saying stupid, annoying things to his fellow Americans.

MittBorg July 30, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Tommy?

sullivanst July 30, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Dorsey libel!

MittBorg July 30, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Can't get nuthin' past you, huh?

MittBorg July 30, 2012 at 4:24 pm

I was in this country by the late '80s, and no longer listening to Auntie Beeb.

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