Does your family throw great interventions? Catered, maybe, with a really soothing jazz band noodling in the background to provide that little oomph? Don’t worry, it comes with practice. Soon you’ll have it down to the point where you no longer even need to assign roles like “stop and get the deli platter,” and “don’t forget a nice malbec, maybe.” And what is true for you is true for the GOP (haha, no it isn’t), as they are getting so much practice in with their interventions that soon they’ll be really tops at it too! For now, though, they are still at the stage where they just walk around screaming “INTERVENTION!” at each other and then punching themselves with tire irons, like the Fawcett/O’Neals. But they’ll be Downey Juniors and Sheens in no time, maybe. We can only hope.
A losing campaign is an orphan or something, and all the GOP is swearing to Maury that the baby ain’t theirs. And so you have Dick Cheney sneering at John McCain’s Sarah Palin pick — from four years ago — and John McCain smiling that smile where he tries not to murder you while reminding the world that Dick Cheney is a torturer, and everybody leaking to Howard Kurtz that they’ve “interventioned” Mitt Romney, for being so bad at running for president.
When Mitt Romney declared, during a Republican primary debate in Tampa, that he would pressure illegal immigrants to “self-deport” back to their home countries, John McCain was downright disturbed. Worried that his former rival was grievously wounding himself with Hispanic voters, the Arizona senator staged an intervention. He and fellow senator Lindsey Graham placed a joint call to Romney in January, urging him to tone down his rhetoric. Romney listened politely, sources say, and did not use the phrase again.
The rest of that story is about how everyone hates John McCain.
But let’s watch John McCain call Dick Cheney a torturer, at about 3:30 in:
We got a fin says it’s McCain who ends up throwing the chair that breaks Geraldo’s nose.