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Actor 212, probablyHave you been so, so angry that the Wonkette Drinky Thing and Meetup World Tour has not yet made its way to you? WE KNOW! JESUS! Well, with the coming conventions, we’re pleased to announce a lineup of tour dates for you Right Coasters.

We will start with a party at the Republican National Convention in Tampa, so sometime between like Aug. 27 and Aug. 29. We don’t know the date yet. Whichever night is neither the keynote, nor Michele Bachmann’s veep acceptance speech. It will probably be in a titty bar, knowing us. Please don’t bring your guns into town.

Then, it’s your turn, Atlanta! Be ready Sat., Sept. 1! At a place to be determined!

From there, we will grace with our presence Charlotte, North Carolina, and the DNC. We have to check with our aunt first before we get a date for this one. “What are your plans in Charlotte?” she emailed us. “I’m a member of the DNC so have a vote, for what it’s worth.” “Wait wait wait, let me guess,” we emailed back. “RANDALL TERRY???” We guess she didn’t think that was funny, because she never wrote back again, but we for one found it FUCKING HILARIOUS.

From there, we will hit DC — let’s call that “September 8” — and then Philly (Sept. 11, Never Forget) and NYC (Sept. 13). Are you happy now, Actor 212? ARE YOU???

By all means, donate your sad little muneez below. (And by the bye, did you know that if you click through on our Amazon linky to the right, any shit you buy gives us a sweet little cut? Well, now you do.)

As to those of you who donated to our Beer Fund, expect your NPR totes and kitten with a whip stickers in August. We just have to, like, print them first.

Keep calm and carry on.





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