Drat, the bell! Did no one think of securing the bells? Hells bells, drat drat drat bollocks, splat. Here is Tiddlywinks McNinnypants, the UK’s “Secretary of State for Culture, Olympics, Media and Sport,” trying to ring a bell, like all British people are required to do during their lunch breaks, and whoops, there goes the bell, breaking apart, flying into a lady, who is now dead. No, she is fine. She has flown off with her umbrella to defeat the Dragons of the North. Where is a glib American management consultant to bring some bloody order to this pippy helltown?

What music do all you Wonketteers want to see at the Londontowne Open-inge Ceremoneye tonight? Let’s have a dance party, right here, on the Internet.


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