LEAVE MITT ALOOOOONE!  9:43 am July 27, 2012

American Person Travels To London For Olympic Games, Doesn’t Embarrass Entire Nation

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Oopsie.Now that poor Mitt Romney has been called out for his “rude and graceless” remarks by none other than Carl Lewis — perhaps the greatest Olympian, who said of him in disgust, “some Americans just shouldn’t leave the country” — maybe his very bad news cycle is almost over. Has he said anything else awful? Well, this, which was a wee bit blorgh:

Asked whether he felt “partly English” [...], a chuckling Mr Romney replied: “Well, I’m married to a girl from Wales, and I’m a guy from Great Britain. So I feel like this is home too, I guess.”

But he hasn’t hocked a loogie on the Queen or taken a poo in the bidet, to our knowledge, so he’s ahead of the game, for him. But is there someone else, another American, who maybe is in London now not being “graceless and rude,” and embarrassing all of US America? Oh, hai Michelle Obama! Thank you for going to Englande for us!

For her whole (short) speech, including Michelle Obama talking touchingly about her father, go here. Unless you hate nice things.

[Telegraph]

 
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{ 312 comments }

ChernobylSoup July 27, 2012 at 9:45 am

It's almost as if Michelle Obama is successful at what she does and Mitt Romney is not successful at what he does.

/continuing last night's discussion

Doktor Zoom July 27, 2012 at 11:04 am

Just remember that a certain percentage of Americans live in an alternate reality where, at a memorial ceremony marking the 10th anniversary of 9/11, the First Lady of the US leaned over to the President and snarled "All this for a damn flag," to his appreciative nod.

JustPixelz July 27, 2012 at 11:19 am

If had gotten on the Olympic Team I could have met Michelle! Wait! I'll get on the 2016 team. Gotta go teach my horse to dance. Also gotta get a horse.

actor212 July 27, 2012 at 9:45 am

I’m a guy from Great Britain.

Wait. He's NOT AMERCIAN?????

WHAR BIRF CERFICKICKACK????????

mookwrthwilson July 27, 2012 at 10:13 am

I thought he was from Mexico…or alternatively was built on Kolob.

BonoboReview July 27, 2012 at 11:38 am

I think he goes to Kolob after he shuffles off this mortal coil. Or else he gets a different planet to rule over as a god. Come to think of it, if the guy really believed this crap it kind of baffles me why he is running for president when he could be a GOD.

Geminisunmars July 27, 2012 at 11:51 am

He gets an upgrade on his planet if he becomes a Preznident.

ibwilliamsi July 27, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Better write into our wills that we don't want Mitt to proxy baptize us after death, or we could end up on Kolob with him. The only thing worse that Mitt Romney being President would be spending eternity with Mitt Romney on his private planet.

vtxmcrider July 27, 2012 at 11:52 pm

The only hobbies on Mitt's planet will be extortion (banking) and dressage.

Not_So_Much July 27, 2012 at 10:17 am

It's not like he's claiming one of those grody other European countries that have citizens with more than just pasty or off-white skin tones.

sewollef July 27, 2012 at 10:38 am

"Asked whether he felt “partly English” [...], a chuckling Mr Romney replied: “Well, I’m married to a girl from Wales"

Wales being a different country to England, Romney couldn't be more wrong then. Again and again and again.

What a fucking embarrassment that man is…. or as former Olympian Carl Lewis said in The Guardian today, " Really, some Americans shouldn't leave the country".

So, so true.

sullivanst July 27, 2012 at 10:43 am

Well, he's totally lost the Welsh vote, that's for sure.

ibwilliamsi July 27, 2012 at 1:31 pm

If he doesn't leave the country, that means he has to stay here. I can't go with Carl on this one.

Tundra Grifter July 27, 2012 at 10:51 am

Wouldn't that be "bloke?"

Your move, Limey Lizzie…

ChillBill July 27, 2012 at 9:47 am

Most embarrassing moment for Americans since the crew of Jersey Shore moved to Italy.

Terry July 27, 2012 at 10:13 am

The Jersey Shore cast could have been moved to a warehouse in Indianapolis and told they were in Italy and they wouldn't know the difference.

Tundra Grifter July 27, 2012 at 10:51 am

Just as long as there was a nearby Olive Garden.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 27, 2012 at 11:20 am

Is there a beach in Indianaopolis? Also, do they have low-rent meat-market bars to hang out in? (Biker bars don't count … although sending the Situation into a particularly rough one might be entertaining.)

tessiee July 27, 2012 at 12:33 pm

It would be a re-enactment of a Lenny Bruce bit if the Situation went into a sandwich shop and tried to order a sub from Wayne Lee Ray behind the counter, and after several explanations, Wayne Lee Ray would say, in tones of amazed discovery, "OH! You want a GUINEA SANDWICH!!"

actor212 July 27, 2012 at 10:14 am

I'd wager this is even more embarassing. Cugines have been going back to the homeland for decades.

Typodong3 July 27, 2012 at 10:39 am

Following his comments about the UK not being ready for the Olympics, and spending some time in the backside of 10 downing street, Mittens proceeded to comment on the terrible food in London, the lack of basic dental care, the oppressively rainy weather, and the funny way the brits talk.

actor212 July 27, 2012 at 10:42 am

And nationalized health care. Can't forget that signature issue.

sewollef July 27, 2012 at 10:55 am

That's the third rail of European politics. Completely untouchable.

Doesn't stop conservative douchebags like Thatcher and Cameron wanting to tinker with it though.

Tundra Grifter July 27, 2012 at 10:53 am

"Great Britian?," continued Mr. Romney. "So far I'd say 'Pretty Good' Britian."

anniegetyerfun July 27, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Oh, well played, old chap.

AutomaticPilot July 27, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Maybe even more embarrassing… to my knowledge, no cast member of Jersey Shore is running for preznint.

Limeylizzie July 27, 2012 at 9:47 am

Tell that man that there is no such country as ''Great Britain", it's either "Great Britain and Northern Ireland" or it's England, Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland, the constituent parts of the United Kingdom.

actor212 July 27, 2012 at 9:49 am

Mitt Romney, like his money, is not bound by puny concepts like borders or nations.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 27, 2012 at 9:51 am

Even the Sex Pistols, with all of their reverence for the queen, bothered to keep their Anarchy in the U.K.

mrblifil July 27, 2012 at 10:01 am

Has Mitt met with the Queen yet? Someone should let him know that their figurehead is not what she seems.

JustPixelz July 27, 2012 at 11:21 am

Yes, I think he already met Senator Graham.

tessiee July 27, 2012 at 12:36 pm

That's fitting, since Mitt ain't no human being.

viennawoods13 July 27, 2012 at 9:52 am

Yeah, he's from Great Britain but she's from Wales? He really has no fucking clue.

Lazy Media July 27, 2012 at 10:09 am

Somebody obviously media-trained him not to say "England," because Brits HATE it when you refer to the UK as England. Your family's from England, Mitt, get over it.

UW8316154 July 27, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Almost like saying Obama wasn't born in the United States because Hawaii isn't part of America.

ChillBill July 27, 2012 at 9:52 am

Clueless Willard also said "Nation of Great Britain." But you know, "57 STATES!!1!!! CORPSE-MAN, CORPSE-MAN!!11!!1"

Biff July 27, 2012 at 9:56 am

I have a birth certificate discount card from Tire Kingdom; we want our country back!

actor212 July 27, 2012 at 10:00 am

You can't be British. You'd spell it "tyre".

Like "pyjamas."

Why can't those damn English learn English, dammit????

sewollef July 27, 2012 at 10:40 am

Oi….! I heard that.

actor212 July 27, 2012 at 10:43 am

Good!

Because I'd hate to have to repeat it slower and louder…

prommie July 27, 2012 at 10:06 am

He's such a fucking cunt.

Limeylizzie July 27, 2012 at 10:13 am

He is that, btw, MrLL is doing wonderfully well, all medication appears to be working , spent yesterday on the beach in Venice, missing the insane storn in NYC.

actor212 July 27, 2012 at 10:14 am

Meh! It blew over quickly.

prommie July 27, 2012 at 10:40 am

The pics of NY look like Ghostbusters, I was looking for the pillsbury doughboy climbing somewhere there. Glad to hear Mr.LL is well!

Biel_ze_Bubba July 27, 2012 at 11:26 am

First time I've seen residents standing on the sidewalks on Riverside Drive, just watching the sky going all apocalyptic. It was impressive.

UW8316154 July 27, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Are you referrring to a Venetian beach, or Venice Beach?

Limeylizzie July 27, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Venice Beach, CA

Terry July 27, 2012 at 10:18 am

Fun fact. The term United Kingdom does NOT include the Isle of Man or the Channel Islands as they have their own legislatures, money, etc.

While we're at it, here's a helpful hint. Do not tell someone from Northern Ireland that they're British. Politically, they are but culturally they're Irish. A certain part of the population is still a little touchy about that.

sewollef July 27, 2012 at 10:46 am

Technically, or constitutionally, Northern Ireland is not part of the 'United Kingdom'. The sovereign states are referred to as: the 'United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

Great Britain being constitutionally separate from Northern Ireland…. despite all the fucking bloodshed, bombings and killings over the last 35 years.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 27, 2012 at 11:28 am

I'd like to start referring to "The United States of America, and Texas", to avoid embarassment when overseas.

anniegetyerfun July 27, 2012 at 1:31 pm

I am going to have to start doing that.

vtxmcrider July 27, 2012 at 11:57 pm

Why not just honor tradition and refer to the United States of America and the Confederate States of America?

sullivanst July 27, 2012 at 11:41 am

Technically, or constitutionally, Northern Ireland is not part of the 'United Kingdom'.

You've parsed your "and" wrong. It's not (The United Kingdom of Great Britain) and Northern Ireland. It's The United Kingdom of (Great Britain and Northern Ireland).

NI is part of the UK, it is not part of GB.

prommie July 27, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Fucking lawyers. There is an NJ Supreme Court case which held that "and" means the same thing as "or."

sewollef July 27, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Gah… You're right, I confused UK with GB when reading and then…. oh fuck it I screwed up.

Nostrildamus July 27, 2012 at 12:42 pm

I do find the nationality terminology for that area of the world confusing, and make mistakes using it. But if I was a serious candidate for POTUS, visiting there, trying to up my international cred, I'd be damn sure to learn it!!! Mitt's a twit.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 28, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Mitt doesn't need to know stuff … he has people for that.

ibwilliamsi July 27, 2012 at 1:31 pm

You'd think he'd know about Northern Ireland, considering that he has a buttload of cash stashed there.

Lazy Media July 27, 2012 at 9:48 am

OH, SURE, MOOCHELLE NOBAMA, NOW YOU WANT US TO SIT DOWN AND WATCH THE OLYMPICS ON TEEVEE INSTEAD OF GETTING UP AND MOVING? HYPOCRITE MUCH?

chicken_thief July 27, 2012 at 10:36 am

History's greatest monster. Fer sher.

ChillBill July 27, 2012 at 9:48 am

"I’m a guy from Great Britain."

Mitt: just because everybody calls you a "wanker," doesn't mean you are a Brit.

Generation[redacted] July 27, 2012 at 9:52 am

"My nickname in my home of Britain is wanker, which translates to really great guy. This is what the head of MI6 called me when we were talking out of the backside of 10 Downing Street."

vulpes82 July 27, 2012 at 10:18 am

Haha, "backside."

eggsacklywright July 27, 2012 at 10:14 am

And someone should tell Mittz that when the locals call him Guv'nor, it's only a figure of speech.

Pat_Pending July 27, 2012 at 1:58 pm

he doesn't qualify as a wanker; he's more of a tosser.

memzilla July 27, 2012 at 9:49 am

If Mitt's miffed at the Olympics, I guess it means they thwarted the Bain Capital takeover and/or horse dressage bribery attempt. Damn those freedom-hating Brits!

viennawoods13 July 27, 2012 at 9:49 am

Dear Mitt-
Your family left GB in the 1800's. Get over it. You're American now. (and then there's that whole Mexican interlude).
In other words, you are confusing ethnic heritage with nationality. There's a difference. Dumbass.

Terry July 27, 2012 at 10:20 am

Good point. Mitt is more Mexican and polygamist by heritage than he is English or Anglo-Saxon.

Guppy July 27, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Sheesh, I've got some Scot-Irish great-great grandparents that make me more British than him…

Butch_Wagstaff July 27, 2012 at 4:35 pm

You must be one of my many, many cousins?

anniegetyerfun July 27, 2012 at 1:34 pm

I would like the wingnuts to go furious with this one (they likely won't, of course) because Obama has never identified as a Kenyan, despite having a parent from Kenya, whereas Mitt is perfectly happy to refer to his wife as "from Wales" even though it was her, what, grandparents that left Wales?

My grandparents left Europe, too, but you don't hear my husband saying that he married a "girl from Poland/the Ukraine."

savethispatient July 27, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I think he's using St Patrick's Day logic. You meet a lot of "Irish" on St Patrick's Day, who have remarkably lost their accent.

johnnyzhivago July 27, 2012 at 9:49 am

Look, Mitt will do better in Israel!

"That Wailing Wall was just the right height!"

OneYieldRegular July 27, 2012 at 10:23 am

"Hello, and thanks for that warm shalom. It's great to be here in the Holy Land, where we're united, we Americans and you Israelis, through our common interests and through our faith. I'm just admiring this beautiful Dome of the Rock here, we know about that back home, as a matter of fact I'm going to encourage my church to see about trying to buy it. Anyway, uh, like I said, it's great to be here, great country 'n' all, even if you're not hosting the Olympics this year. So, you know, thanks for the welcome. Ich bin ein Jerusalemer."

Geminisunmars July 27, 2012 at 12:07 pm

You got his cadence down perfectly OYR. I can just about hear his voice. Don't forget ""Morning, messpuucah," Romney told a group in Tel Aviv. "I got started this morning right with some cheesy matzoh brei."

tessiee July 27, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Given his propensity for misstatements, I would expect something more like, "Good mishugenah, momzerim. Hope you're all enjoying your dreck".

anniegetyerfun July 27, 2012 at 1:35 pm

That would take a lot of chootz-paw.

RadioBowels July 27, 2012 at 10:53 am

His hair gel will be like velcro for the obligatory yarmulke.

redarmyzombie July 27, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Oh god, I don't even like Israel, and already I can feel my skin crawl.

The man's going to go there and make a holocaust joke, I know it…

vtxmcrider July 28, 2012 at 12:03 am

"I am surprised that the Whaling Wall is nowhere near the coast. It must have gotten its name during that Noah's Ark episode."

KeepFnThatOwl July 27, 2012 at 9:50 am

Mitt knows blorgh people.

CivilMcMannerly July 27, 2012 at 9:50 am

"I’m a guy from Great Britain"

Mitt Romney… From Great Britain? Or the Greatest Britain?

chicken_thief July 27, 2012 at 10:38 am

Mitt is severely British.

SorosBot July 27, 2012 at 9:50 am

But I thought Michelle couldn't understand our special relationship with England due to our Anglo-Saxon heritage?

vulpes82 July 27, 2012 at 10:22 am

Thanks to the legacy of slavery, Michelle is probably more Anglo-Saxon than Romney (though he is of course much, much, much, much, much, much, much, muuuuuuch whiter).

LesBontemps July 27, 2012 at 10:38 am

Due to the Anglo sexin'.

anniegetyerfun July 27, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Anglo Sexin': Not as good as it sounds. And it doesn't sound that good.

ChuckieJesus July 27, 2012 at 9:51 am

Gringo tourists got no reason to live.

smitallica July 27, 2012 at 9:52 am

I would like to see the cavalcade of rightwing pants-shittery that would erupt if Obama ever said anything even remotely in the vicinity of implying he was from another country.

Doktor Zoom July 27, 2012 at 10:30 am

Oh, I dunno; apart from a few idiots tut-tutting when he quaffed a Guinness, there wasn't too much fuss over his visit to the home of his Irish ancestors.

OK, and the inevitable "must be one of those Black Irish" jokes

tessiee July 27, 2012 at 12:43 pm

At the last Highland Games I attended, the winner of the caber toss was a very large African-American gentleman in a kilt.

Also, you never saw so many snow-white legs with bright orange leg hair in your life.

anniegetyerfun July 27, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Well, that started out as one of my greatest sexual fantasies and then died a hairy-legged death.

anniegetyerfun July 27, 2012 at 1:37 pm

My CEO at the time was genuinely disgusted and confused by Obama's trip to Ireland.

"It doesn't make any sense!" he puffed over a business dinner. "He CAN'T be from Ireland."

God, I don't miss that fucking company at all.

HistoriCat July 27, 2012 at 10:32 am

It's OK – the right-wingers will say it for him.

KeepFnThatOwl July 27, 2012 at 9:52 am

Also, from a friend who's a British ex-pat: The Welsh are considered the white trash of the UK.

Lazy Media July 27, 2012 at 9:59 am

Hey! Nice double racism there.

LesBontemps July 27, 2012 at 10:02 am

Yeah, Wales is pretty much the West Virginia of Britain.

actor212 July 27, 2012 at 10:04 am

As opposed to Scousers? Or people from way up north?

vulpes82 July 27, 2012 at 10:19 am

I thought that was Essex girls?

Terry July 27, 2012 at 10:24 am

…and the Irish are the last stone age culture in Europe.

What are old expressions?

The English are self-made and worship their creator.

The Scots hold onto their children and anything else they can get their hands on.

The Irish don't know what they want, but will die fighting for it.

The Welsh pray on their knees on Sunday and on their neighbors the rest of the week.

I think there are a couple more, but I'm blanking on them.

Dashboard Buddha July 27, 2012 at 1:07 pm

The sun never sets on the British Empire…because God doesn't trust the Brits.

Vecchiojohn July 27, 2012 at 10:26 am

Many of my ancestors were Welsh, Mr. Owl, and I resent this remark. And here I was just about to invite you over to my trailer for a possum fry and a little hand-fishin.

KeepFnThatOwl July 27, 2012 at 10:31 am

Speaking as a blastocyst originating around Forrest City, Arkansas, I have a little latitude here. Only a ginger can call another ginger "Ginger".

widestanceromance July 27, 2012 at 10:32 am

Also too here with Welsh ancestors, so Mr. Owl would not be served the cakes we like in our abandoned car home.

KeepFnThatOwl July 27, 2012 at 10:38 am

Hey, my best friend is a Welsh-hating Cornishman.

widestanceromance July 27, 2012 at 10:53 am

Well, then, you may have some ceder cheese if you don't mind a little coal dust on it.

sullivanst July 27, 2012 at 11:15 am

That doesn't much compute, given the Cornish are really more closely related to the Welsh than to the rest of the English.

Although, I suppose very few of the petty intranational resentments of Britain much compute.

eggsacklywright July 27, 2012 at 10:46 am

What? No periwinkle caravans?

widestanceromance July 27, 2012 at 10:51 am

Thank you. I tried working 'caravan' in there, but was in a rush to submit (old habits die hard, heh, heh).

tessiee July 27, 2012 at 12:44 pm

"Mr. Owl would not be served the cakes we like in our abandoned car home."

Just as well, they probably have a dangerous amount of coal dust in them.

*reads rest of thread*
Oh, DAMN it!

widestanceromance July 27, 2012 at 1:49 pm

There, there. It happens to everyone sooner or later.

ChillBill July 27, 2012 at 10:38 am

Who do you think would win the Sheep-Shagging Olympics: Wales or Alabama?

tessiee July 27, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Australia ??? libel?

proudgrampa July 27, 2012 at 11:12 am

Some of my best friends are Welsh.

JohnyEdge July 27, 2012 at 11:44 am

Some of my best friends welsh.

elviouslyqueer July 27, 2012 at 9:52 am

Asked whether he felt “partly English” [...], a chuckling Mr Romney replied: “Well, I’m married to a girl from Wales, and I’m a guy from Great Britain. So I feel like this is home too, I guess.”

Um, Mitt? Evidently there's a bit of the brown in your British heritage. Sí, si puede, also, motherfucker.

actor212 July 27, 2012 at 10:00 am

He might be from South Britain

LesBontemps July 27, 2012 at 10:10 am

Baja Britain.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 27, 2012 at 10:21 am

Mitt the Mexican Mormon!

chicken_thief July 27, 2012 at 10:43 am

ANCHOR BABY MUCH, MITTENS?!!!!

coolhandnuke July 27, 2012 at 9:52 am

The Olympics have yet to start and Mitt has already captured two medals–Gold in the 20 Meter Belly Flop and Gold in the 100 Meter Backstoke.

Lazy Media July 27, 2012 at 9:52 am

I can't WAIT for him to joshingly tell the Israelis that he feels a connection to them because "You people really like money, too, right? Hahaha."

mavenmaven July 27, 2012 at 10:48 am

And I own Global-Tech, which outsources ovens, I remember something about you folks and ovens *romney wierd laugh*

Guppy July 27, 2012 at 12:06 pm

His ancestors came over on the boat from Israel.

Dr. Nick Riviera July 27, 2012 at 9:53 am

Chuck Todd says this is all the GB media's fault! *harumpph*

eggsacklywright July 27, 2012 at 10:18 am

What a fucking corporate media weasel.

GunToting[Redacted] July 27, 2012 at 10:38 am

Ah, I was wondering what Fuck Toad thought about this.

No, wait… I WASN'T wondering what this idiot tool and his beard thought about this.

docterry6973 July 27, 2012 at 11:43 am

Todd can't grasp that some journalists don't spend their day kissing butts and regurgitating campaign spin.

anniegetyerfun July 27, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Brian Williams, a well-known communist, is to blame for any of Mitt's Olympics-related gaffes.

TootsStansbury July 27, 2012 at 9:53 am

I think it's high time that citizens greet the Mittbot with tossed rotten tomatoes and other harmless icky missiles.

tessiee July 27, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Or, if he visits inflicts himself upon Ireland, rotten potatoes.

tessiee July 27, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Now I'm picturing three generations of Irish guys throwing potatoes at Mitt.
*thick Irish accent*
"Call that a throw, do ya, Da?"
"Now look here, me Son: when yer throwin' yer potato, do like this [demonstrates], because ya don't want to be after strainin' yer shoulder muscles before ya even run out of ammo."

sullivanst July 27, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Sounds like the kid is no "stylish bowler"

anniegetyerfun July 27, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Incidentally, "icky missile" is how a Mormon man must refer to his penis.

widestanceromance July 27, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck. But, are they allowed to refer to it at all? Only to a doctor if unavoidable?

TootsStansbury July 27, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Haha Ew. Well we could throw dicks instead of rotten food.

ChernobylSoup July 27, 2012 at 9:54 am

We might as well set Michelle's travel itinerary to follow Mitt's by 48 hours, otherwise we might see NATO disband, Israel collapse from within, and Poland try to build their own missile shield out of tinker toys.

OurDailyBread July 27, 2012 at 10:45 am

Promise?

Guppy July 27, 2012 at 12:07 pm

And this is a bad thing?

DerrickWildcat July 27, 2012 at 9:55 am

"Pierogis and Kielbasa are some of my favorite peasant food. We feed it to our Horses all the time."

actor212 July 27, 2012 at 9:56 am

"Not pierogies or kielbasa. The peasants that eat those."

Veritas78 July 27, 2012 at 9:29 pm

"Hey, your ancestors never whined about a minimum wage, did they? And here you are, so it all turned out well! Say, I'm a serfer, too! What's Polack for "gnarly", eh?

vtxmcrider July 28, 2012 at 12:11 am

"Mr. President, your kielbasa is just the right size."

Generation[redacted] July 27, 2012 at 9:55 am

Sigh. I just got back from reading the comments on Fox New's coverage of this. The story is "Romney trades volleys with Brits over Olympic preparations." Of course the story is buried under the major stories of UN arms treaty, UN corruption, UN conspiring with North Korea, the Dream Act being exploited by illegals, and nepotism in the Justice Department.

And the comments, these folks need to get out of their small town and see what the world is really like.

elviouslyqueer July 27, 2012 at 10:00 am

And the comments, these folks need to get out of their small town single-wides and see what the world is really like.

FTFY

HistoriCat July 27, 2012 at 10:35 am

That's not true – Cletus turned in that old trailer for a double-wide five years ago.

GunToting[Redacted] July 27, 2012 at 10:41 am

It constantly amuses me how much hatred there is for Europe. Every conservative I know seems to think that all the folks over there are miserable, dirty, and hungry, and live in collapsed brick buildings in sepia-toned dusty streets. It's as if they saw photos of the bombed out cities from WWII and just figured that the Europeans were not clever enough to rebuild.

anniegetyerfun July 27, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Except they DO have some grudging admiration for Germany, I've noticed. You know, back when the Germans weren't taking shit from ANYONE.

AbandonHope July 27, 2012 at 10:50 am

No, they really don't. We need to build barricades around those towns, and preferably cut off Internet service as well.

Goonemeritus July 27, 2012 at 9:56 am

When will Michelle Obama stop undermining the Republican candidate by not being totally graceless? America has a proud tradition to uphold, if you aren’t going to at least throw up on an important dignitary I say stay home.

sudsmckenzie July 27, 2012 at 9:56 am

Hey, you know who Else had an awkward Olympic experience?

ManchuCandidate July 27, 2012 at 10:02 am

Jesse Owens! He ruined Hitler's party.

actor212 July 27, 2012 at 10:03 am

The guy who designed the London logo?

sudsmckenzie July 27, 2012 at 10:17 am

To be honest, we All wondered what Lisa Simpson going down on someone would look like.

Dashboard Buddha July 27, 2012 at 10:39 am

Sadly, and I only know this because a friend of mine did one of those surprise website tricks on me, there is quite a bit of cartoon porn for the simpsons, family guy, etc. (the family guy stuff is particularly disturbing…you'd think they'd run out of disgusting ideas after all of this time.)

SorosBot July 27, 2012 at 10:45 am

But the Family Guy porn must at least be funnier than the actual show.

sudsmckenzie July 27, 2012 at 10:51 am

You got rick rolled by lisa simp, gahh I really didnt think I would need to source this http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/artblog/20

tessiee July 27, 2012 at 12:53 pm

"we All wondered what Lisa Simpson going down on someone would look like."

She's a vegan; she's got to get protein from somewhere.

Thurman Munster IV July 27, 2012 at 10:04 am

Zeus?

ChernobylSoup July 27, 2012 at 10:16 am

Tonya Harding?

An_Outhouse July 27, 2012 at 10:34 am

The victims of the Munich massacre in 1972?

Geminisunmars July 27, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Too soon.

HistoriCat July 27, 2012 at 10:37 am
RadioBowels July 27, 2012 at 10:56 am

I absolutely love those guys. One of my favorite moments in all of sports history.

actor212 July 27, 2012 at 10:57 am

I was going to say Smith and Carlos, but that was hardly awkward for them. But you're right: the team had lots o splainin'

LesBontemps July 27, 2012 at 10:44 am

Salt Lake City?

SorosBot July 27, 2012 at 10:46 am

The Doctor? Fear Her is quite possibly the worst episode of the revived series.

redarmyzombie July 27, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Figures. It was written by the same guy who made Bonekickers.

eggsacklywright July 27, 2012 at 10:49 am

Rafalca, in So You Think You Can Prance.

sudsmckenzie July 27, 2012 at 11:19 am

I just laughed out loud

eggsacklywright July 27, 2012 at 11:27 am

Thank you, fellow Scottish person. As the Frenchies say, it is my raisin debt.

sudsmckenzie July 27, 2012 at 12:01 pm

today, I am Scottish

widestanceromance July 27, 2012 at 10:57 am

Many young Greek boys?

RadioBowels July 27, 2012 at 11:03 am
mookwrthwilson July 27, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Dora Ratjen, the man Hitler made compete as a woman?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dora_Ratjen

mwittier July 27, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Johnny Weir?

MonkeyMotion July 27, 2012 at 9:57 am

Maybe Mitt should just sing 'em 'God Bless America', you know, in that wonderful voice of his!

Tundra Grifter July 27, 2012 at 11:05 am

Just wait until he hears "God Save the Queen" and blurts out "Hey – they stole our tune!"

tessiee July 27, 2012 at 12:55 pm

That old fart in the van by the river could back him up on keyboards.

MonkeyMotion July 27, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Excellent suggestion!

Though, do ya think there'll be sufficient security to hold back the throngs of cheering Brit's?

mrblifil July 27, 2012 at 9:58 am

Merrie Olde Englande. Of course ye olde usage for "merry" meant "up for a damn good rogering at a moment's notice." Seeing Michele in London on an actual mission of patriotism (will she go see the dressage horses compete, unlike Mitt? AMERICA FUCK YEAH!) makes me merry indeed.

ChernobylSoup July 27, 2012 at 10:04 am

Oh god, I hope Michelle attends the dressage competition. A perfectly timed "bless your heart" to Ann Romney when Rafalca loses would be priceless.

smashedinhat July 27, 2012 at 9:59 am

What's Johny Rottens take on this anyway? I for one am dying to know.

Thurman Munster IV July 27, 2012 at 10:05 am

God save the Mitt. He's just a piece of shit.

Oblios_Cap July 27, 2012 at 10:08 am

It's better to burn out
than be a Romney.

prommie July 27, 2012 at 10:08 am

I saw him back in spring of 2002, he kept asking the crowd "why aren't you all in eye-rock?"

smashedinhat July 27, 2012 at 10:19 am

Was that before or after he turned his back, bent over and spread his butt cheeks?

prommie July 27, 2012 at 10:44 am

He didn't do that, but he kept pulling up his shirt and playing with his nipples, while the crowd spat on him. It was for realz!

smashedinhat July 27, 2012 at 11:05 am

A great loss for the viewing public. Filthy Lucre indeed.

Doktor Zoom July 27, 2012 at 10:33 am

No future
No future
Noooooo future for you!

helefink July 27, 2012 at 11:03 am

I saw him on Venice Beach drinking mint juleps in spring of 2012. He was loudly complaining about "all these Fuh~~~cking Cuh~~~nts."

chascates July 27, 2012 at 10:02 am

Mitt would be most at home in the House of Lords.

Biff July 27, 2012 at 10:10 am

I read the news today, oh boy…

CthuNHu July 27, 2012 at 4:31 pm
Dildeaux July 27, 2012 at 10:03 am

In Israel:
"Those are some hats ya got there. I prefer my Stetson."

In Poland:
"The lights are a bit dim for a photo op. How many of you people does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

Biel_ze_Bubba July 27, 2012 at 11:41 am

“I like those fancy hats you got. Really sprung for the big bucks, huh?”

Geminisunmars July 27, 2012 at 12:14 pm

"Say, where did you get those beanie things?"

sbj1964 July 27, 2012 at 10:05 am

The only reason the Brit's are stoked about the Olympics at home is now they don't have to worry about NOT setting off the Medal detectors at an airport.

johnnyzhivago July 27, 2012 at 10:05 am

Mitt does it again!

Tells Queen "I like the size of your Corgis – you can probably fit four of them on the roofrack of your Land Rover!"

johnnyzhivago July 27, 2012 at 10:06 am

"I don't know any Pollacks but my father used to hire them to clean his gutters"

sullivanst July 27, 2012 at 10:36 am

"Then I fired them. Good times!"

Oblios_Cap July 27, 2012 at 10:07 am

Has Wioilard made any comments about the UK food or the weather yet? Because that would be comedy gold.

johnnyzhivago July 27, 2012 at 10:07 am

"If Poland wasn't separated from Europe by the Baltic Sea, Hitler would have over run the place"

prommie July 27, 2012 at 10:07 am

He meant "I'm White, I'm White," when he said that, didn't he?

Baconzgood July 27, 2012 at 10:09 am

Jeese that trip was about as bad as what that dude did in An American Werewolf in London.

Puffperney July 27, 2012 at 10:12 am

Thanks for the link to Michele speaking about her father. I'm guessing that clip will never appear on FOX.

smashedinhat July 27, 2012 at 10:12 am

Mittens should talk to Conrad Black on how to stare down a life time of shame.

viennawoods13 July 27, 2012 at 10:20 am

I think that a room with those two in it would explode from the concentration of sense of entitlement within.
Fuck I hate Conrad Black. I'm still pissed that we let him back into Canada.

smashedinhat July 27, 2012 at 10:40 am

Try posting a realistic (negative) comment about him at The National Post. Hilarity will ensue.

viennawoods13 July 27, 2012 at 10:43 am

I hate that fucking paper, but it is delivered free to our school and the only thing to read at the staff room at lunch. Unless I remember to bring my New Yorker along.

actor212 July 27, 2012 at 10:12 am

Mitt arrives in Israel on Saturday.

"Say! Where is everyone? I was supposed to have a massive throng of Jews waiting at the airport! It's a bright sunny day, what happened?"

KeepFnThatOwl July 27, 2012 at 10:14 am

Okay, I'm done with Barry.

Michelle / Biden '012!!!

Mumbletypeg July 27, 2012 at 10:15 am

maybe his very bad news cycle is almost over.

Mercy. I'm suffering from Rmoney fatigue — and it's not yet August.

KeepFnThatOwl July 27, 2012 at 10:34 am

Forest / trees. We're only hearing about Santorum in a makeshift Chick-Fil-A commercial, so count your blessings.

fartknocker July 27, 2012 at 10:16 am

Mitt would be a smart man if he watched this video several times to learn about sincerity and empathy.

Puffperney July 27, 2012 at 10:19 am

The bad news… You either have sincerity and empathy or you don't. Studying it won't do it.

ManchuCandidate July 27, 2012 at 10:16 am

W is Cardinal Mazarin compared to R-Money.

vulpes82 July 27, 2012 at 10:21 am

Jenna and Barb are no Mancini sisters, though.

Dr. Nick Riviera July 27, 2012 at 10:17 am

Did someone already get this one: Romney promises to return the bust of Churchill to Oval Office
http://maddowblog.msnbc.com/_news/2012/07/27/1299

Fairly certain it belongs to the British…I'm not sure it's proper manners to announce you are reborrowing someething that doesn't belong to you

BoatOfVelociraptors July 27, 2012 at 10:24 am

You wouldn't understand, its an Anglo-Saxon thang.

johnnyzhivago July 27, 2012 at 10:47 am

Indian Givers!

Limeylizzie July 27, 2012 at 11:36 am

It does and it was given to GWB for the length of his time in office, Barry put one of Lincoln up instead.

Geminisunmars July 27, 2012 at 12:30 pm

OFFS.*

*oh for fucks sake

Wadisay July 27, 2012 at 10:18 am

Great Britan??!! They're exceptional, too??

TribecaMike July 27, 2012 at 10:32 am

They invented the concept.

actor212 July 27, 2012 at 10:53 am

For a small island, yes.

TribecaMike July 27, 2012 at 10:19 am

Given the Mormons' Bizarro World version of history, shouldn't Israel be coming to America to visit Romney?

BZ1 July 27, 2012 at 10:19 am

"I’m a guy from Great Britain"- let's see the Birf Cert!!

TribecaMike July 27, 2012 at 10:23 am

And his green card.

GhostBuggy July 27, 2012 at 10:19 am

Yes, yes, but how many times did Michelle say "I" or "we" in her speech in England? Please report the important details, Wonkette!

arihaya July 27, 2012 at 10:19 am

Well, I’m married to a girl from Wales

TRAITOR !!

actor212 July 27, 2012 at 10:30 am

Right. You marry English or Scots. You fuck Welsh girls.

sullivanst July 27, 2012 at 10:53 am

Piece of advice: do not marry a Scot and then fuck a Welsh girl. Very risky.

actor212 July 27, 2012 at 11:00 am

How'd he die?

Hit by a flying caber.

eggsacklywright July 27, 2012 at 11:05 am

I picked a bad week to stop tossing.

sullivanst July 27, 2012 at 11:08 am

Where is he now?

That haggis you're eating? Yeah, there.

weejee July 27, 2012 at 10:22 am

I’m a guy from Great Britain

When did the UK conquer Mexico? Must been in the late 60s or early 70s, bits of that are a little foggy.

arihaya July 27, 2012 at 10:23 am

also BBC has a nice story about how Romney family migrated to USA,
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-18422949

apparently some crazy Mormon missionaries (redundant) told his great-great-great grandparents that Jesus once visited America, and will be back there soon, so to see Jesus they migrated to Utah. Weird? Yes.

chascates July 27, 2012 at 10:26 am

Has anyone figured out how the Native Americans ended up getting screwed so badly if Jesus came here? Seems as though He through them under the Conestoga wagon for the European usurpers.

HistoriCat July 27, 2012 at 11:02 am

Considering that the Jews are Yahweh's chosen people – and how screwed they were – it almost seems plausible that Jesus had a connection to the Native Americans.

ph7 July 27, 2012 at 10:23 am

Well, I'm married to a girl from Wales

I can't wait to see how this limerick ends.

sullivanst July 27, 2012 at 10:47 am

Who tries to be charming but fails

TootsStansbury July 27, 2012 at 11:12 am

An election at stake
She says "let them eat cake!"
While a poor humble serf does her nails

Geminisunmars July 27, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Group Win!

UW8316154 July 27, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Wild applause!!!

TootsStansbury July 27, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Blush. I was going to say something about strapping doggerel to the roof of the car.

chascates July 27, 2012 at 10:24 am

Will he offer a photo op by attending a Mormon temple service?

Sir_Fartz_Alot July 27, 2012 at 10:25 am

Mitt is showing symptoms of (dressage) hoof in mouth disease

Clancy_Pants July 27, 2012 at 10:26 am

He's from Great Britain but she's from Wales? That Harvard degree really was worthless wasn't it?

widestanceromance July 27, 2012 at 10:36 am

Both of them, Clancy.

Clancy_Pants July 27, 2012 at 10:42 am

I know! But law school? Does that count for anything?

widestanceromance July 27, 2012 at 11:02 am

Harvard even gives degrees to the blahs now, so clearly not. Willard does not want to highlight that he has 2 degrees from an institution like that.

eggsacklywright July 27, 2012 at 10:27 am

Hey, wait a minute. If Mittz is really a white guy, why doesn't he play golf? Does not compute.

rocktonsam July 27, 2012 at 10:40 am

$Mittens$ has friends that own golf courses, close enough.

ShuCityRefugee July 27, 2012 at 10:27 am

Where are all the liberal birthers, ready to seize on Governor Romney's remarks as "proof" that he was not born in the U.S. of A.? I think it's time to start trolling right-wing sites with 144-character posts about the "guy from England" and "the girl from Wales."

An_Outhouse July 27, 2012 at 10:29 am

“some Americans just shouldn’t leave the country”

and some should just stay away and not return. (we're looking at you, Mitt)

sudsmckenzie July 27, 2012 at 10:29 am

Wow, Michelle, I could hear Benincasa going "arse over tit" from my house.

Dashboard Buddha July 27, 2012 at 10:31 am

"Unless you hate nice things."

Well, it's not that the wingnuts don't like nice things…they just don't like nice things that are black.

proudgrampa July 27, 2012 at 11:30 am

Mitt is why we can't have nice things.

Dashboard Buddha July 27, 2012 at 10:32 am

"Well, I’m married to a girl from Wales"

Torchwood Singles Online?

HistoriCat July 27, 2012 at 11:05 am

I think I have the start of a theory on Mitt's origins …

Dashboard Buddha July 27, 2012 at 11:31 am

He was once a charismatic robot from Antares and Torchwood decided that such advanced technology was too good to destroy so they installed a Monty Python Twit Subroutine that allowed the robot to wander about?—

HistoriCat July 27, 2012 at 12:35 pm

You ARE good!

prommie July 27, 2012 at 10:33 am

Barack shoulda just stone cold showed up, so everyone could get a direct side-by-side comparison. Barack should hold campaign events directly across the street from every Romney event, just to stick it up his patrician twit ass.

LesBontemps July 27, 2012 at 10:36 am

Sell the naming rights — that's the American thing to do.

HistoriCat July 27, 2012 at 10:44 am

Damn it – I yield the point to the primate.

actor212 July 27, 2012 at 10:50 am

What would we rename Great Britain…or whatever…then?

United Monarchy of Rupert Murdoch? Beatleville?

HistoriCat July 27, 2012 at 10:55 am

East America.

sudsmckenzie July 27, 2012 at 11:05 am

North Seamus?

LIT_Fag July 27, 2012 at 11:32 am

Reagan Economic Zone

sewollef July 27, 2012 at 12:37 pm

East New York.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 28, 2012 at 3:30 pm

"Old New York" would go over well.

rocktonsam July 27, 2012 at 10:37 am

"so I feel like this is home too, i guess"

how many homes do you need, you elitist prick?

Guppy July 27, 2012 at 12:12 pm

More importantly, how many homes does his money need?

Mahousu July 27, 2012 at 10:48 am

The next time Mitt goes on a trip, he should take Zwinky with him. And let her do all the talking.

a_pink_poodle July 27, 2012 at 10:49 am

Romney is a secret loyalist who wants to sell us back to the British after we kicked their asses in WW2 at Wounded Knee!

On another note, this is amazing, I had hoped he would say more cute things! The circus is in town indeed!

ElPinche July 27, 2012 at 10:50 am

Romney needs to go home now. I suggest a nice slow yacht sail through the Bermuda triangle.

usuhname July 27, 2012 at 10:52 am

Wait, how can he be British and also be Mr Roboto AT THE SAME TIME?
Not for the first time – does not compute, does not compute at all.

Mojopo July 27, 2012 at 10:57 am

A friend mentioned that the Beeb let the c-word slip, in reference to David Hunt. Gotta love it.

Edit: I edited this stupid thing 3 times. Need moar coffee.

TribecaMike July 27, 2012 at 11:17 am

I need more scones meself.

macv507 July 27, 2012 at 11:05 am

Mitt butler served him Freedom Muffins with his eggs benedict this morning.

viennawoods13 July 27, 2012 at 11:28 am

And why are those eggs named after someone who betrayed the Americans to the British?? Hmmm???

Tundra Grifter July 27, 2012 at 11:07 am

So far, things are OK in the U.K.

For Mr. Obama.

proudgrampa July 27, 2012 at 11:29 am

Yeah, too bad the Brits can't vote for him!

Self-Uploader July 27, 2012 at 11:10 am

Doesn't take a crystal ball to see how Michelle's trip is going to play in certain circles:

Shame on her for politicizing the Olympics…
oh and talking about herself, like she's so much better than the rest of us…

ttommyunger July 27, 2012 at 11:15 am

When asked why she didn't have a horse like Ann, Michelle smiled slyly and said "I've got Barry, I don't need a horse."

Steverino247 July 27, 2012 at 11:23 am

Wait until Mitt gets to Israel and they figure out Mormons believe they're the missing tribe. Ought to be fun!

deanbooth July 27, 2012 at 11:31 am

"I’m a guy from Great Britain."

In that sense, we're all guys from Africa (maybe even Kenya).

Guppy July 27, 2012 at 12:10 pm

I still say he's catering to his GOP base. Being booed by European socialists should give him almost as much (unpaved) street cred as being booed by the NAACP.

Guppy July 27, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Can we send him to go insult the Canadians next?

monsieurleghorn July 27, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Mittens is from a part of the country where Latin types, such as myself, get told to speak 'murrcan, by sallow persons such as himself. Now he says he's British and his wife is Welsh. Can we get him to self-deport?

Nostrildamus July 27, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Mitt/Michele 2012 !!!

randcoolcatdaddy July 27, 2012 at 12:43 pm

I'm expecting remarks from Mittens on how the double-decker buses would be triple decker if they were run by private enterprise….

Nostrildamus July 27, 2012 at 12:44 pm

I can hardly wait for the results of Rafalca's Olympic drug test.

DahBoner July 27, 2012 at 12:46 pm

He meant Wales, Utah…

eaglewon July 27, 2012 at 1:03 pm

But wasn't Mitt's campaign trying to claim he was Mexican?

TribecaMike July 27, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Why was she speaking in front of not one but two Liberian flags?
http://www.mapsofworld.com/images/world-countries

Aw, who cares? She's hot!

ibwilliamsi July 27, 2012 at 1:32 pm

See, if the First Lady's father had a million dollar dressage horse I'm sure he would have been just fine.

KotBR July 27, 2012 at 1:49 pm

I'd make some 'Romney's too dumb' to be President crack here, but I lived through Reagan and W. so, apparently he's just about right for two terms.

Pat_Pending July 27, 2012 at 1:58 pm

SOD OFF MITTENS YOU FUCKING CUNT

PuglyDoRight July 27, 2012 at 4:07 pm

"I'm from Great Britain"??? Ex-cuuuuuse me, Mittens, but your ancestors were more recently living in Mexico.

docterry6973 July 27, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Couric destroys Palin and Williams dismantles Romney. Liberal media bias, I say! Asking them softball questions that any teenager could handle is so unfair!

dandalion July 28, 2012 at 10:24 pm

Why does Mitt remind me of Dan Quayle? The guy must like the taste of his toes because he seems to be always sucking on them.

On another note… of all the first ladies I would enjoy meeting Michelle.

Dashboard Buddha July 27, 2012 at 10:50 am

Well, the family has a dog, and brothers and sisters, and a baby, and a crippled neighbor…so, shock funny, yeah.

actor212 July 27, 2012 at 10:56 am

I'm sorry, I disbelieve this story, based on the mascots

I think they rolled it out, and when it got hammered, walked it back.

sudsmckenzie July 27, 2012 at 11:10 am

I think they would be better suited at Penn State.

KeepFnThatOwl July 27, 2012 at 11:36 am

I grew up Christian, but now get angry when I see churches. Tribalism is tribal.

prommie July 27, 2012 at 12:09 pm

He was skinny again, and despite all reputation, that band was tight.

tessiee July 27, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Does it have to do with a certain governor Christie disputing a diner menu that said that he could have bacon OR ham with his eggs?

WABishop July 27, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Today, we are all Scottish. Because if it's not Scottish it's crap.

sullivanst July 27, 2012 at 1:48 pm

I had a fairly long discussion of all this with my tutor at college, after he was trying to get me money from some scholarship fund. Turned out I wasn't eligible… conversation started something like:

"Where was your mother born?"
"Belfast"
"Oh. Does she have an excuse for that?"
"Errr, does 'that's where her parents were from' count?"
"No, that's a shame."
"Why?"
"Well, there's this endowment, but it's only for people whose parents were both born in Great Britain."

prommie July 27, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Yer funny!

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