the man with the golden tongue

Mitt Romney Blames Great Recession On Losers Like You Who ‘Attacked Success’ (Video)

Mitt Romney, what caused the recession? Was it the banks? It was the banks, right? OF COURSE NOT, DON’T BE RIDICULOSE. No, it is losers who aren’t rich, attacking rich people with their class warfare for wondering why rich people pay taxes at half the rate everyone else does! You don’t even have to watch the video to hear the curl of his lip as he instructs you and your fellow plebeians. But you should watch the video, because it is funny. “When you attack success you have less of it,” he lectures, “and that’s what we’ve seen in our economy over the last few years.”

Shhhh, Mitt Romney. Just shhh. Try this: Don’t insult the middle class. Don’t insult our allies. Don’t insult ponchos. Don’t insult baked goods. Don’t insult your wife.

[CNN]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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290 comments

  1. nounverb911

    I guess the "American Borat"* is done dissing the Brits and returns his attention to dissing the poors.

    * I totally stole that from someone on Twitter. #RomneyShambles

    1. bumfug

      I saw it on Twitter too, from a guy who said that's what a lot of Brits are actually calling him.

    2. Mittens Howell, III

      Yeah, laugh it up, laughers, just wait till Romney makes sexy time with the Queen.

      1. tessiee

        Oh, great.
        Now I'm picturing Queenie in black leather, doing pony play with Mitzi.
        *scrub scrub scrub*

    3. Generation[redacted]

      You should follow this guy…

      RT @MlTTR0MNEY Although United States a glorious country, it have a problem, too: economic, social, and blacks. #americanBorat

    1. Typodong3

      Ahhh.. no. That would be the job creators, ie the rich and the banks (interchangable).

    2. actor212

      I'm more and more convinced that the only way we're going to get through to the 1% with respect to the gravity of the problem out in the real world is to resort to piracy.

      ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Take what ye can! Gi'e nothin' back!

      / semi-snark

      1. sullivanst

        Maximilien Robespierre, your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

      2. sullivanst

        Maximilien Robespierre. your ideas are intrіguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

  2. DrunkIrishman

    Look, Mitt Romney is not a success story. He was born to wealthy parents with a wealthy surname that afforded him the opportunity to get ahead in life. His close ties with the LDS Church allowed him to serve an LDS Mission in a posh chateau in France, which got him out of the Vietnam War – a war he had no problem protesting in favor of, by the way – and then was allowed some of the most expensive education this country has to offer.

    You want a true success story? Look at the man you're trying to defeat, Mr. Romney. He grew up in a working class home, with no father, a mother who was often not at home, and managed, through his own doing, to not only get into the biggest and best universities, but broke down a color barrier to attain the White House – all the while owning the name Barack Hussein Obama.

    If there is an American story, it's not that of some loser, preppy, snobby fucktard who was born into a rich family and got every break possible because of his name – who then turned that success into an opportunity to stomp on the throat of the average working person.

    The Great Depression and the Great Recession were caused by people like you – wealthy assholes who'll do anything and everything to get ahead, no matter how many faces they have to step on in the process.

    Your wealth is obscene. The fact you think you got there on your own is even more obscene. Just go the fuck away Mitt Romney. No one likes you.

    1. finallyhappy

      Your first two paragraphs should become a commercial- If I had money, I would pay to put it on TV/radio- But I am a "youpeople" instead of a Sheldon Adelson/Koch Brothers- so if you allow, I would like to copy your words and pass them around

      1. Boojum

        If you had money you would pay someone to write concern troll comments about class warfare Derp Derp.

    2. anniegetyerfun

      Don't you know? Obama is a complete socialist idiot who has been helped throughout life by being black (because people feel sorry for him) and some kind of massive liberal conspiracy that started with his birth in Kenya and ended with him getting a job as a professor of Constitutional law, despite having bad verb agreement in some of his writing.

      Duh.

          1. RadioBowels

            Rhythmic Jim Newell Nastics
            High Muff Diving
            Banhammer Throw
            Mutually Beneficial Rowing
            Two Man Luge
            Cross Dressaging

    3. mrblifil

      See Mittens? When you attack success you sometimes open the possibility of winning the internet. Just ask Drunk Irishman. And if you can't find him in particular, find any drunk Irishmen. They're all over London taking whatever menial labor is available. They're like the Mexicans of Great Britain in the United Kingdom.

        1. tessiee

          The kind that you see in those movies about The Sports Team that Started out Bad, but Then Got Good — where one person stands up and applauds, then another, then another, then another, until everyone is on their feet and cheering.

    4. coolhandnuke

      May I borrow your brilliant words to put on my annual Guy Fawkes Day party invitations?

    5. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Now why can't THIS end up in every inbox on the planet, as FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: RE: MITT ROMNEY?

    6. Sharkey

      Comment of the Day! Month! YEAR!

      Yeah that's it!

      P.S. Take out the "fucktard" and the last two sentences and you could be featured on Democracy Now!

    7. bobbert

      Those are some well crafted words that are there.

      Given Rmoney's privileged start in life, it would be far more remarkable if he were a financial failure. Doesn't stop him from being a moral failure, though.

    8. smokefilledroomba

      Every now and then it's a thing of beauty to read such a pure unabashed snarkless rant that mimics my thoughts/feelings exactly. I raise a glass to you, my friend!

  3. savethispatient

    It's okay Mitt, nobody's attacking you for being a successful presidential candidate. Or won't, soon enough.

  4. ProgressiveInga

    "Attacking success will not be successful. People want more success, they don't want less success". Or, in Charlie Sheen-ese, "Duh, Winning".

    1. Buckminster

      At least Sheen got a back-up gig, and I bet with a lot of clawbacks in the contract language. I don't think Romney could get a job at the supermarket as a bagger after November, not that he needs it. Prick.

  5. Generation[redacted]

    You shouldn't attack success. You should attack failure. Look at that failure over there! Attack him!

  6. Doktor Zoom

    I'm so terribly sorry–I'm pretty sure I said something about income inequality in the summer of 2008, and then Bear Stearns went belly up.

    My bad.

          1. Beowoof

            I invested in pork belly, cured it with maple and salt and then smoked it, it was awesome.

    1. tessiee

      Also, one time I made fun of Dumbass Bush, and the very next *day*, a schoolbus full of cute lil children went off a cliff.

  7. TavariousChinaSmith

    Not attacking the success so much as the unalloyed rapacity and greed.

    But then, I guess the Mittster feels that you can't achieve "success" (more money than a human could ever use in a lifetime) without stepping on a few heads.

  8. Fairtackle

    All right, it was me. I admit it. I caused the recession. I am bad, don't fuck with me.

    1. tessiee

      *raises hand timidly*
      I was the one who told Milli Vanilli that they should go into the music biz.
      Also, I invented Crocs.

  9. elfgoldsackring

    "Don't be one of those assholes attacking success! Work hard and become a successful asshole, then you can shit all over those other assholes! Successfully!

    1. TavariousChinaSmith

      Why don't people like me? Is it because they're jealous of my looks, my intellect, or my work ethic. Yes, it must be because of my work ethic.

  10. sullivanst

    WTF is he talking about?

    Can he cite examples of people "attacking success" in early 2006 when the housing market peaked and foreclosure rates started to pick up? Or in 2007 when the recession started? How about in March 2008 when Bear Stearns collapsed?

    Why is he so hell-bent on "punishing" work? (since apparently "asking something to be taxed" is equivalent to "punishing" it")

    1. anniegetyerfun

      Can he cite examples of ANYTHING? No. And no one in the press will ever ask him to.

      1. sullivanst

        You sound a lot like Laurence O'Donnell did last night. Or was it the night before? I think it was last night.

      1. va_real

        Romney strategy: awkwardly spew random Rovean talking points. Await negative reaction from Earthlings, then retract clumsily and offensively. Repeat ad nauseum.

  11. coolhandnuke

    Mitt: Your mother was a privileged hamster and your father smelled of Mormon elderberries. But they at least earned it.
    You, on the other hand, are an empty suited vessel and i fart in your general direction.

    1. Spurning Beer

      I wave my private parts at your auntie. I blow my nose at you, you tiny-brained wiper of other people's bottoms.

      That's how it's done, Mitt. Try that on Leader Millibrand.

  12. Callyson

    "Dividing America based on who has money and who hasn't, who is successful and who is less successful, that is not the American way"

    Yeah, I'll try that line next time I've got a student loan payment due…

    1. Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Really, Mittens? So the next time one of your super rich goon buddies bashes poor people for being poor are you going to give them the same speech? Yeah…thought so. Now back to the caviar and motor oil you pig…and be greatful faux nuuz exists so no one can take you apart with this stupid bullshit.

    2. NellCote71

      I have confuse. Are we "you people?" I am pretty sure Mrs. Romney divides America into two groups. (I refuse to watch the video. I had enough discomfort watching his comportment in England.)

    3. sullivanst

      Seems very much like Romney is dividing America into those who have quiet rooms to talk in, and those who should shut the fuck up.

      If you have kids, and fewer than four mansions, I think we all know you don't have a quiet room.

    1. CalamityJames

      Funny side note: Paris Hilton is more popular than our current Congress. I blame it on night vision.

  13. Callyson

    Oh, and Mittens? No one is asking for a "handout" from the rich: we are asking them to quit *taking* handouts in the form of tax subsidies and grossly underpaying the people who work for them.

    Asshole.

    1. savethispatient

      The Mayor of London is an elected official (and a fairly new invention), the Lord Mayor is a historic ceremonial role.
      To be honest, I had to check that on Wikipedia.

      1. doloras

        Boris is Mayor of Greater London, the Lord Mayor is only elected by the tiny historical inner city where no-one lives but banksters any more.

    2. tessiee

      "(I thought it was "Lord Mayor of London", or is that different?)"

      I think the Lord Mayor of London is the one who Puss in Boots went to visit.

  14. SorosBot

    Somehow I suspect Mitt's new "insult everybody" campaign strategy isn't going to win him many votes.

    1. bobbert

      Perhaps he's craftier than we realize — he was never going to get many British or Polish votes, and the only Israeli ones he cares about are already in AIPAC.

      This could just be getting it out of his system, you know?

  15. docterry6973

    See, it was people like us attacking the rich who caused the recession. They could have made America grow but no; our petty jealousy sapped their will to trickle money down in our general direction. I feel bad now. We eat sh!t. Really.

    1. Typodong3

      We may eat shit, but I refuse to sit here any longer with open mouth waiting for some of that trickle to get down here.

      1. docterry6973

        No, no. Wrong thinking. What we need to do to make America great is to learn to tug at our forelock and say 'Thankee, squire' to our betters. You know, Anglo-Saxon values.

        1. sullivanst

          Yeah, someone ought to explain to Romney that Dickens was exposing a horror not celebrating a virtue, and that the anglo saxons who stuck it out in the home country have moved on from that shit.

    2. tessiee

      "They could have made America grow but no; our petty jealousy sapped their will to trickle money down in our general direction."

      *presses back of hand to forehead*
      Oh, it's true! It's *all* true! We're SO LAME!!!
      *bites knuckle of index finger*

  16. BarackMyWorld

    “When you attack success you have less of it."

    NO MORE JOBS FOR YOU UNTIL YOU STOP HURTING THE ENTREPENUERS' FEELINGS!!!!

    1. SayItWithWookies

      Except that you clap as hard as you can but the guy telling you to clap is also smothering Tinkerbell between his hands as he encourages you, and then when Tinkerbell dies he says it's your fault.

  17. Callyson

    "People want more success, they don't want less success"

    Yes, that's true…I'd like to see the middle class enjoy more success in preserving their home values, retirement funds, and college savings from the crooks on Wall Street. I'd like to see the working class enjoy more success in accessing a college education without going into crippling debt due to never ending increases in tuition driven by horrendous budget cuts that are necessary because the rich have so successfully resisted paying their fair share in taxes. I'd like to see a lot more success, thanks.

    Wait, you were talking about something else?

    Fuck this, it just turned 5PM and I need a happy hour again…

    1. anniegetyerfun

      "People want more success, they don't want less success"

      That's… did he say that? Out loud? Did anyone sort of titter? Why does he sounds like a child when he talks?

      People want more chocolate, they don't want less chocolate. When you criticize chocolate, you will get less chocolate.

      1. va_real

        I didn't so much titter as snicker, but same kinda thing.

        Why does he sound like a child? Because most of the people who will vote for him like being treated like children?

  18. ChernobylSoup

    Mitt: I live a middle class life, getting by paycheck to paycheck, not putting much away for the future, but along with my wife providing a decent life for our son, and any foster kids we happen to take in. That means I am more successful than you. You will never understand why we hate you.

    Hint- it ain't jealousy.

      1. sullivanst

        you can never be tinny enough

        I propose a vat of molten tin and a Mitt-dip to test this theory…

    1. tessiee

      They also need to grind their heel into a poor person's windpipe every now and then — you know, just for shits and giggles.

  19. CountryClubJihadi

    How much did that pink zebra monstrosity cost?
    I can't take this much longer.

  20. mwittier

    Step1: Buy all the bootstraps.

    Step 2: Sell all the bootstraps to the poors and insist they pull themselves up by using them.

    Step 3: Tell the poors they are doing it wrong, and repossess all of the bootstraps.

    Step 4: Sell the slightly used bootstraps (not very used because the poors didn't try very hard because, lazy) to dirty foreigners.

    Step 5: PROFIT! RUN BAREFOOT ACROSS HOT COALS IN SUCCE$$!

  21. upthruster

    He just can't stop himself…because he's a robot really. Tonight on NBC's interview with Brian Williams he sat in London, one of the oldest and biggest cities in Europe and said as an insult and without hesitation that if we head down the path of taxing the wealthy more, than the US would become Europe.

    Oh, Mittens…we'll miss all this next year during Obama's second term.

    1. tessiee

      "Oh, Mittens…we'll miss all this next year during Obama's second term."

      *voice from back of crowd*
      I won't!

    2. tessiee

      "said as an insult and without hesitation that if we head down the path of taxing the wealthy more, than the US would become Europe."

      I suppose I should be appalled or something at how tone-deaf and insensitive this is, and what a terrible impression of America he's creating abroad — like we need it — but I'm sorry, this just flat out cracks me up.
      Mitt [clutching pearls]: "Why, without my billions, I'm YOU!"

  22. coolhandnuke

    Success: 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration.
    Romney: 99% privilege and 1% indignation.

    1. rickmaci

      I lived in Massachusetts when he was the runaway Governor. I knew from that time he was an asshole. I never realized back then, he is a stupid fucking asshole.

      1. bobbert

        There is a school of thought (hiding in a corner of my brain, mostly) that holds that Rmoney is not actually stupid, and even recognizes some basic principles of economics and the role of government in promoting the general welfare (even though he's made his fortune in the arcane, manipulative sector of the economy).

        But someone has convinced him that he cannot admit to any Keynesian or social-contract leanings or he will lose the tenuous* support he now gets from the "base". So he is reduced to firing off random verbal volleys that he really doesn't believe. I honestly cannot imagine what kind of toll it would take on my intellectual capability if I had to lie, in public, every day for months on end. I expect I would appear confused and at best marginally coherent. So maybe that's the deal with Mitt.

        Of course, there's another school of thought, hosted by the majority of my brain and the brains of tens of millions of others, that he's simply a sociopathic, entitled fuckwad.

        Decisions, decisions.

        * Because Mormon, doh.

        1. Dudleydidwrong

          Your first premise presents us with a beautiful example of polishing a turd.

          I firmly buy into your second premise.

        2. sullivanst

          Given the prodigious amount of lying strictly for personal gain involved in the first alternative, doesn't it imply the second?

    1. docterry6973

      Looks nice. If I trundle over to the dealer maybe they will let me look at one for a few minutes.

  23. RadioBowels

    Hey fucknuts, if you are so proud about your success, you shouldn't be so ashamed of your tax records.

    1. bobbert

      The tax records should be like Success Silver Stars, or the Successful Medal of Honor.

  24. CheeseBro69

    Let me get this straight, we're supposed to fellate Mittens 24/7 because he was born rich and handsome and somehow waltzed into being a multimillionaire by firing poors?

  25. pinkocommi

    “When you attack success you have less of it.” -Rmoney

    If you define "success" as being born to parents who are politically connected and elite multi-millionaires but being oblivious to the fact that your "success" has been handed to you then, I am ALL for attacking success so that we have less of it.

    Obama, who was born to a middle class family, elected to Editor of Harvard Law Review, wrote a well-written and moving autobiography that eventually became a best-seller and made him lots of money, worked as a community organizer before running for local political office, Senator, and eventually President without a family fortune to bankroll him. HE truly is a success. And isn't funnyhow much the Republitards attack him…. <<sigh>>

  26. Typodong3

    We arent attacking you because you are rich, Mittens. We are attacking you because you are a douchebag rich fuck who was born a rich fuck, gamed the system because you were born a rich fuck, and managed to fuck everyone else in your quest to become rich. Fuck.

    1. tessiee

      Also, fuck Mitt and the horse he rode in on, and the horse his wifelet rode in on, also too.

  27. MonkeyMotion

    The Obama re-election team should save million$$$ by simply running unedited tapes of Romney speaking, acting 'normal', etc. Mittens is a priceless, cringe-worthy, dumb-ass!

  28. Katydid

    Heh heh heh…Andrew Sullivan says Willard said he was in "the nation of Great Britain."

    Does the Mittster come from the nation of Utah or the nation of Michigan?

    1. bobbert

      Well, when discussing the UK, the notion of "nation" does get a little cloudy. But of all the possibilities, the "nation of Great Britain" will definitely piss off the largest number of people.

      1. sullivanst

        Probably the least accurate possible formulation.

        United Kingdom = United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland = Britain = England+Wales+Scotland+Northern Ireland = what Parliament has authority over.

        Great Britain = England+Wales+Scotland. There is no governmental unit with authority over all these places and no others.

        Calling any one of England, Wales, Scotland or Northern Ireland a nation wouldn't be completely wrong, but it certainly wouldn't be a full explanation of their status. The UK is really the country in the way it's normally understood.

        But, they do confuse things by identifying themselves in sporting events as "GBR", and their currency is listed as "GBP".

        Still, you'd have thought that if you were going on a foreign trip with the intention of proving that you'd still be OK on foreign policy despite having absolutely no experience whatsoever on that front, you might do a little thing called "research".

        1. bobbert

          I was using the term "nation" in the sense that I learned it in Poli Sci 101 a hundred years ago: a geographical area with a population sharing a common history and socio-cultural background. Differentiated from a "state", which is a political / governmental unit. In my way of looking at things, England, Scotland, Ireland, and maybe Wales are "nations". The UK is a state (as is the US).

          In any case, as you point out, Great Britain is neither.

          Also, I'm not certain, but I think the reason they use GBR may be because in the Olympics, athletes from Northern Ireland can choose to belong to either Team GBR or Team IRL. (In things like the World Cup, they dispense with the GB stuff, and field sides from England, Scotland, Wales, etc.)

          1. sullivanst

            Not sure about the Northern Ireland part… the British Olympic Association describes itself as “the National Olympic Commttee for Great Britain and Northern Ireland”. It seems more likely to be due to the fact they've been competing as GBR since the first modern olympics, which was, of course, prior to Irish independence (although back then they were “The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, but they weren't exactly known for giving a crap about the Irish).

    1. Dudleydidwrong

      That's because they know, deep down, that there is always the chance that the 99% will catch on to their little game of ripping off the people, buying the politicians, and whining like kids yanked from the candy store, and will rise up and rip out their fucking guts. It may be time…

      1. RadioBowels

        I said this two days ago:
        If it wasn't for religion relentless Right Wing propaganda the poor would murder the rich.

        Napolean Radio.

  29. starfanglednut

    Sigh…I've said this before on Wonkette, and now I have to say it again.
    I'm so so so so so so fucking sick of this republican contention that hard work is all that's required for success, and that opportunity in this society is equal for all.
    The guy washing dishes for minimum wage and no benefits 12 hours a day works harder than Mitt has ever worked in is pathetic, obscenely overprivileged life, and doesn't have a mansion with a car elevator and millions in offshore accounts to show for it. Willard probably couldn't do that guy's job for one day without flipping out. Never mind going home to his run down, insect ridden apartment in a dangerous neighborhood. And taking a second minimum wage job to get his kids cavities filled. And that dishwasher's kids don't have the opportunities that Mitt's brats have. So fuck Mitt Romney.

  30. mrblifil

    Did he just come from meeting Mick Jagger? "SUCCESS SUCCESS SUCCESS!!!" Go ahead Mittens. Pile it up, pile it high on a platter. Shadoobie.

    1. LetUsBray

      But when the shit hits the fan, he'll be sitting on the can. The gold-plated, bewilderingly high-tech can that cleans your bottom for you.

  31. Generation[redacted]

    You people are looking at this the wrong way. We can make any demands we want, and if they don't give in, we'll start criticizing other people's success, bringing the economy to its knees! They'll be powerless to stop us!

  32. GeorgiaBurning

    I can see why Romney is afraid of class warfare. Is there a deck of cards with his picture on it yet?

  33. RadioBowels

    Lost in the success of his banality, he references the twit that will give him teabagger and middle-class cred — Marco Polo Rubio.

  34. new_pic_for_NEWTer

    In a country well governed, poverty is something to be ashamed of. In a country badly governed, wealth is something to be ashamed of.
    Confucius

  35. Blueb4sinrise

    Danielle Blake ‏@DCPlod
    There we were thinking 'Anglo-Saxon' would be the worst part of Romney's trip to Britain. #RomneyShambles

    Michelle Matthews ‏@Tymlee
    Romney claims he was not in London this week, in fact hasn't been there since 1999 #RomneyShambles

    https://twitter.com/#!/search/%23romneyshambles

    Caroline Roche ‏@Caroline_Roche
    #RomneyShambles – this just in… @MittRomney has released his UK tax returns!

    Shockwave ‏@Shockwave
    Mitt Romney is a master of diplomacy, insulting Britain in a way that would even impress the French #RomneyShambles

    1. Callyson

      TheNewDeal ‏@TheNewDeal
      Look on the Bright Side Brits, You Only Have to Deal with Mitt for a Few Days. We're Stuck with Him Until November.

      Excuse me, I need some more drinks now…

  36. Willardbot9000_V2.5

    Mittens, your success shouldn't be celebrated, you should be hung upside down and shaken until every one of your ill-gotten corporate raider cash falls out to repay the people who's pensions you stole, the offices you plundered and the company shareholders you fleeced. You can have all the money you made turning around companies…all $50 of it.

  37. upthruster

    I think the Brits are pretty adept at protesting and smearing their wealthy over there. I'm sure they would approve of Americans ripping on the rich mannequin questioning their ability to host an Olympics for a while. Yes, Mitt…I think the attacks will be successful, even Rupert Murdoch has to resign this week.

    1. sati_demise

      Mittens is riding back on the top of the plane, tail tucked between his legs

      watch your head if he flies over!

  38. Beowoof

    No one is afraid of success, it is an issue when it is taken at the expense of people who work for a living. This fucker created nothing. He only manipulated the system for his own ends. Steve Jobs, Henry Ford, even Bill Gates were part of companies that created products that people wanted. All Mitt did was find companies that were doing well and with money from his dad and right wing pals bought those companies and then stripped out the good stuff and bankrupted the bad all at enormous profit for himself.

  39. MilwaukeeKent

    They've been trying like Hell to get under Obama's skin, since the day he took office, and make him angry so they can finally point and say "See? Angry Black Guy" to the one third of high-school-or-less whites who still support him. They really want to drive that wedge. Obama continues being Jackie Robinson running the bases despite the taunts from the bleachers.

    Romney is so thin-skinned on the topic of his wealth that you can practically see his internal organs. It takes nothing at all to set him off. Again, one-sixth the man his father was.

    1. Steverino247

      So then it's the consensus here that the best part of him ran down the crack of his momma's ass?

  40. SayItWithWookies

    I'm glad someone's finally saying we shouldn't be attacking success. Okay, it's a little funny that the person saying it got rich(er) by buying successful businesses, using them as collateral to fund the buyout, charging them huge consulting fees, looting their pension fund and advising them into bankruptcy. Because that sounds like my definition of attacking success.

    1. Sharkey

      It isn't success if it can be so easily brought down.

      Success needs to be clad in glass or gold. Then surrounded with titanium.

      When sensors detect an attack on you, you respond in kind my friend.

      Simply put, do not attack success, you pathetic muppet.

  41. randcoolcatdaddy

    Is Mitt doing this intentionally so he can stuff all the campaign donations in a Swiss bank account when he goes down in flames?

    1. LetUsBray

      This is starting to look like the "Springtime for Hitler" of presidential campaigns, isn't it?

  42. bobbert

    "The trip was meant to make him look presidential… it made him look like Mr. Bean. #Romneyshambles"

  43. One_Man_Band

    Good lord, what is this, the 4th post about Romney in one day? The man is so inherently unfunny, even Wonkette can't make him mildly amusing, no matter how stoopid his antics. Lord help me, its HOW LONG until the election?

  44. Self-Uploader

    I know blood is thicker than politics and all that, but at this point, seriously, can we seriously just stop talking to any relatives stupid enough to be considering voting for this clown because, seriously?

  45. new_pic_for_NEWTer

    In a country well governed, poverty is something to be ashamed of. In a country badly governed, wealth is something to be ashamed of.

  46. DustBowlBlues

    Just last night, I was thinking about how my working class parents did a good job, owning their own home and sending me to a state university. Not in a grand style, mind you, but without any loans, either.

    Until Mittbot corrected me about the two of those Fucking losers!!!!!

  47. Biel_ze_Bubba

    OT, but why the hell do we have to have Bristle, the Kardassians, and other "reality TV" harpies inflicted upon us, while the Aussies get this?

    (Patience may be needed; about a billion people are hitting that server right now.)

  48. doloras

    And if you think THIS is an insane embarrassment of a clusterfuck or a meltdown, imagine if it were Gingrich or Frothy Mess or Herman Cain over there right now.

  49. tessiee

    If there's any lesson that history has taught us, it's that, if everyone leaves them alone and asks for nothing, the rich and powerful can always be trusted to do the right thing of their own free will.

  50. tessiee

    "People want more success, they don't want less success"

    Really?
    Is it better to be healthy than to be sick?
    And is the sun, perchance, hot?
    Mitt's really just as sharp as a MARBLE, isn't he?

  51. tessiee

    “When you attack success you have less of it,” he lectures, “and that’s what we’ve seen in our economy over the last few years.”

    In other words, Romney and the rest of the 1% have been raping us since the first Reagan administration, but the REAL problem is that we stubbornly refuse to moan.

  52. tessiee

    Saying that the recession was caused by the victims calling attention to it is like saying that global warming is caused by thermometers.

  53. smokefilledroomba

    Do not attack success.
    Success may stick to certain types of skin.
    Caution: success may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
    Ingredients of success include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

    1. tessiee

      Do not apply success to abrasions or mucous membranes, or use near eyes.
      Do not ingest success internally. If success is accidentally ingested internally, call the nearest poison control center.
      Wash hands thoroughly after handling success, and again before meals.
      Do not use success near heat source or open flame.
      Sticker price of success does not include license, tax, tags, and dealer preparation fees.
      Objects in success may be closer than they appear.
      Do not taunt Happy Fun Success.

  54. Blueb4sinrise

    Plez Joyner ‏@plezWorld

    MT @FrankTheDoorman: BREAKING NEWS: Mitt Romney fires interpreter after making stupid gaffes in London. #romneyshambles

  55. Fukui-sanRadioBarb

    Aw crap, I've been trying so hard to avoid this "Romney in London" thing but, as a Britisher, I've finally fucking had enough.

    As a theoretical, let's say us Brits had sent poxy Elton John to Sisterfuck Kansas and had him spout off about how all Americans are fat, ill-educated, jesus-freak, gun nut diabetic morons. That'd be the move of a bunch of cunts, right? So why on earth is your GODDAMN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE over on our rather pleasant sceptered isle acting like the worst kind of ugly American? What's the fucking deal? What did we do? Sure, Susan Boyle and the Spice Girls, but come on. We deserve better than this shit.

    It reminds me of when that other self-promoting cunt with the aircraft carrier-sized ego (David fucking Blaine) came to London thinking we'd all be bowled over that some famous legerdemain prat deigned to honour us with his presence. He sat in a transparent box by Tower Bridge and didn't eat. Fucking wow. Of course, the Brits were unimpressed by this and would sit under hit box and eat chips, or tee up on the bridge and drive golf balls at him. Then there was the newspaper which stuck a happy meal under a remote controller helicopter and flew it round him.

    Blaine said he'd never come to London again, to which the overwhelming response was "good". Romney deserves the same damn treatment.

    As for this "attacking success" horseshit, well. It's a straight-up lie, right? Everyone sees that. Everyone. Britain is in a second fucking recession thanks to the policies of that other fucking idiot you elected TWICE, so we're really sorry if we get a bit miffed when your latest plutocrat cunt turns up and spouts this bollocks again.

    I love America and most Americans, but seriously, sometimes you guys are fucking nuts.

    1. va_real

      So I take it that we can't talk you Brits into keeping him over there, huh? Maybe the Poles will want him, though?

    2. tessiee

      "the newspaper which stuck a happy meal under a remote controller helicopter and flew it round him."

      This?
      Is so shitty/awesome that we need a new word, or possibly even a new brain, for it.

    3. bobbert

      Oh c'mon Fukui-san, you know that pretty much everybody reading this comment would like to see Mitt mobbed and eaten by the Tower ravens. The problem is that we, collectively, averaged over the whole fucking continent, are always fucking nuts. We really might have done better to just let the Confederate traitors secede.

      Aside #1: Because I don't pay much attention, I thought David Blaine was British. Since not, his assholery rating rises to Reaganesque levels. Please kick him in the nuts for me, if you get the chance. I'll reciprocate, if I have the opportunity.

      Aside #2: I'm neutral on Susan Boyle, but I actually found the Spice Girls to be sort of entertaining in a lightweight-entertaining way.

  56. tessiee

    Is Mitt possessed by demons? Extremely boring, yet entertainingly gaffe-prone, Mormon demons? It's impossible to diagnose.

  57. bobbert

    Mitt, you sociopathic piece of shit, I'll tell you what people (those of us who are not comfortably ensconced in the 0.01%) want. We want our children (or step-children, or nephews and nieces) to have a genuine chance to do a little bit better than we did, whether that "better" is simple financial success or the betterment of society, or both.

    We want them to succeed, but we fervently hope that they can do so without having to become asshole sellouts such as you.

    1. Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      Social mobility in the US is worse than in France, and worse than most of Western Europe.

      I blame success, or something.

  58. arihaya

    even the Murdoch's Times said Romney was ""worse than Sarah Palin in terms of basic diplomacy."

  59. Chet Kincaid

    This is all, collectively, the best thing that could have happened. Please, please, please, keep appalling, alienating and embarrassing your party, your potential voters, and your country, from coast to coast, and in every nation on this earth, Mittens! It is your patriotic duty.

  60. Self-Uploader

    And if he elected, he will declare himself king, so we can look up to him better from a lower height. Also because that's what the founding fathers would have wanted.

  61. ttommyunger

    So, Mittens; I don't know the German, but the gist is that "WORK WILL MAKE YOU FREE", right?

  62. Blunderthing

    I'm actually getting this kind of crap at work: "We mismanaged the place into the ground so you guys must work four times as hard so the folk who fucked the place up can still make the big bucks. Why are you so lazy that you won't work 24/7 for the good of the country? Er, company?"

  63. BoroPrimorac

    My father was way different than Marco Rubio's old man. When pop drove us around Miami he'd point at the big houses and tell us which mansions belonged to members of the Cuban mafia. He'd look back at us from the driver's seat and remind us that our city was built on money laundering and cocaine.

  64. valthemus

    Oh, Mittens… you really are counting on voters working too hard for too little to pay attention to the crap coming out of your mouth, aren't you?

    "Mitt the Twit" indeed.

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