THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN TONGUE  7:38 pm July 26, 2012

Mitt Romney Blames Great Recession On Losers Like You Who ‘Attacked Success’ (Video)

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Mitt Romney, what caused the recession? Was it the banks? It was the banks, right? OF COURSE NOT, DON’T BE RIDICULOSE. No, it is losers who aren’t rich, attacking rich people with their class warfare for wondering why rich people pay taxes at half the rate everyone else does! You don’t even have to watch the video to hear the curl of his lip as he instructs you and your fellow plebeians. But you should watch the video, because it is funny. “When you attack success you have less of it,” he lectures, “and that’s what we’ve seen in our economy over the last few years.”

Shhhh, Mitt Romney. Just shhh. Try this: Don’t insult the middle class. Don’t insult our allies. Don’t insult ponchos. Don’t insult baked goods. Don’t insult your wife.

[CNN]

 
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{ 290 comments }

nounverb911 July 26, 2012 at 7:40 pm

I guess the "American Borat"* is done dissing the Brits and returns his attention to dissing the poors.

* I totally stole that from someone on Twitter. #RomneyShambles

bumfug July 26, 2012 at 7:47 pm

I saw it on Twitter too, from a guy who said that's what a lot of Brits are actually calling him.

ManchuCandidate July 26, 2012 at 7:50 pm

But but but but all countries besides US Amercia ARE GAY!

Callyson July 26, 2012 at 8:18 pm

So much for that shared Anglo Saxon heritage…hee hee hee…

Mittens Howell, III July 26, 2012 at 8:28 pm

Yeah, laugh it up, laughers, just wait till Romney makes sexy time with the Queen.

tessiee July 26, 2012 at 10:52 pm

Oh, great.
Now I'm picturing Queenie in black leather, doing pony play with Mitzi.
*scrub scrub scrub*

actor212 July 27, 2012 at 9:32 am

Yea, Mitt naked is a pretty gross thought.

Generation[redacted] July 26, 2012 at 8:32 pm

You should follow this guy…

RT @MlTTR0MNEY Although United States a glorious country, it have a problem, too: economic, social, and blacks. #americanBorat

Gratuitous World July 26, 2012 at 7:46 pm

so we'll get the credit when the economy turns around too. right?

Typodong3 July 26, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Ahhh.. no. That would be the job creators, ie the rich and the banks (interchangable).

actor212 July 27, 2012 at 9:17 am

I'm more and more convinced that the only way we're going to get through to the 1% with respect to the gravity of the problem out in the real world is to resort to piracy.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Take what ye can! Gi'e nothin' back!

/ semi-snark

sullivanst July 27, 2012 at 9:19 am

Maximilien Robespierre, your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

sullivanst July 27, 2012 at 9:21 am

Maximilien Robespierre. your ideas are intrіguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

actor212 July 27, 2012 at 9:28 am

I'll be sandin' me mast, if ye know what I mean, matey.

DrunkIrishman July 26, 2012 at 7:47 pm

Look, Mitt Romney is not a success story. He was born to wealthy parents with a wealthy surname that afforded him the opportunity to get ahead in life. His close ties with the LDS Church allowed him to serve an LDS Mission in a posh chateau in France, which got him out of the Vietnam War – a war he had no problem protesting in favor of, by the way – and then was allowed some of the most expensive education this country has to offer.

You want a true success story? Look at the man you're trying to defeat, Mr. Romney. He grew up in a working class home, with no father, a mother who was often not at home, and managed, through his own doing, to not only get into the biggest and best universities, but broke down a color barrier to attain the White House – all the while owning the name Barack Hussein Obama.

If there is an American story, it's not that of some loser, preppy, snobby fucktard who was born into a rich family and got every break possible because of his name – who then turned that success into an opportunity to stomp on the throat of the average working person.

The Great Depression and the Great Recession were caused by people like you – wealthy assholes who'll do anything and everything to get ahead, no matter how many faces they have to step on in the process.

Your wealth is obscene. The fact you think you got there on your own is even more obscene. Just go the fuck away Mitt Romney. No one likes you.

finallyhappy July 26, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Your first two paragraphs should become a commercial- If I had money, I would pay to put it on TV/radio- But I am a "youpeople" instead of a Sheldon Adelson/Koch Brothers- so if you allow, I would like to copy your words and pass them around

Boojum July 26, 2012 at 8:10 pm

If you had money you would pay someone to write concern troll comments about class warfare Derp Derp.

bumfug July 26, 2012 at 7:51 pm

Great! Never sober up!

Fraudulently_Joe July 26, 2012 at 7:53 pm

I regret that I have but one fist to give.

viennawoods13 July 26, 2012 at 7:58 pm

That deserves so many fists- I wish I could give it more than one.

qwerty42 July 26, 2012 at 8:04 pm

YES!
That gets to the heart of so much of this.

anniegetyerfun July 26, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Don't you know? Obama is a complete socialist idiot who has been helped throughout life by being black (because people feel sorry for him) and some kind of massive liberal conspiracy that started with his birth in Kenya and ended with him getting a job as a professor of Constitutional law, despite having bad verb agreement in some of his writing.

Duh.

Boojum July 26, 2012 at 8:09 pm

Bravo, my good man…eh, what?

Extemporanus July 26, 2012 at 8:16 pm

GOLD.

Callyson July 26, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Seriously–Michael Phelps has nothing on this Olympic winner…

Sharkey July 26, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Wonketteering really needs to be an Olympic sport.

Nostrildamus July 27, 2012 at 12:47 am

Synchronized Buttsecks
50-meter TruckNutz

mrblifil July 26, 2012 at 8:32 pm

See Mittens? When you attack success you sometimes open the possibility of winning the internet. Just ask Drunk Irishman. And if you can't find him in particular, find any drunk Irishmen. They're all over London taking whatever menial labor is available. They're like the Mexicans of Great Britain in the United Kingdom.

Sharkey July 26, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Don't worry Mitt, they won't punch your perfectly handsome Mormon face.

tessiee July 27, 2012 at 2:11 am

*is disappoint*

emmelemm July 26, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Golf Clap

RadioBowels July 26, 2012 at 8:35 pm

I'm thinking thunderous applause.

emmelemm July 26, 2012 at 8:39 pm

Even better.

tessiee July 26, 2012 at 10:57 pm

The kind that you see in those movies about The Sports Team that Started out Bad, but Then Got Good — where one person stands up and applauds, then another, then another, then another, until everyone is on their feet and cheering.

Doktor Zoom July 27, 2012 at 9:15 am

Also the Intense training / visible improvement montage!

RadioBowels July 26, 2012 at 8:36 pm

Blimey, a smashing success. A world record upfists!

WhatTheHeck July 26, 2012 at 8:40 pm

You, sir, are some writer.
Thank You.

poorgradstudent July 26, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Fantastic.

coolhandnuke July 26, 2012 at 8:53 pm

May I borrow your brilliant words to put on my annual Guy Fawkes Day party invitations?

fuflans July 27, 2012 at 2:13 am

can i come to your party?

Biel_ze_Bubba July 26, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Now why can't THIS end up in every inbox on the planet, as FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: RE: MITT ROMNEY?

AbandonHope July 27, 2012 at 11:10 am

Because most liberals don't forward chain letters the way conservatards do.

Sharkey July 26, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Comment of the Day! Month! YEAR!

Yeah that's it!

P.S. Take out the "fucktard" and the last two sentences and you could be featured on Democracy Now!

bobbert July 26, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Those are some well crafted words that are there.

Given Rmoney's privileged start in life, it would be far more remarkable if he were a financial failure. Doesn't stop him from being a moral failure, though.

Mittens Howell, III July 26, 2012 at 9:55 pm

You are my hero.

va_real July 26, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Impressive. Thank you, DI!

NellCote71 July 26, 2012 at 10:43 pm

I love you so much.

MissNancyPriss July 26, 2012 at 11:36 pm

I think I love you.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 27, 2012 at 1:30 am

Genius.

smokefilledroomba July 27, 2012 at 4:41 am

Every now and then it's a thing of beauty to read such a pure unabashed snarkless rant that mimics my thoughts/feelings exactly. I raise a glass to you, my friend!

smokefilledroomba July 27, 2012 at 4:41 am

Every now and then it's a thing of beauty to read such a pure unabashed snarkless rant that mirrors my thoughts/feelings exactly. Sláinte!

IncenseDebate July 27, 2012 at 8:27 am

Best comment EVAH!!

savethispatient July 26, 2012 at 7:48 pm

It's okay Mitt, nobody's attacking you for being a successful presidential candidate. Or won't, soon enough.

ProgressiveInga July 26, 2012 at 7:48 pm

"Attacking success will not be successful. People want more success, they don't want less success". Or, in Charlie Sheen-ese, "Duh, Winning".

Boojum July 26, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Mitt isn't bi-winning; he is bionic.

tessiee July 26, 2012 at 10:59 pm

As long as he isn't bi-curious.

Buckminster July 26, 2012 at 11:42 pm

At least Sheen got a back-up gig, and I bet with a lot of clawbacks in the contract language. I don't think Romney could get a job at the supermarket as a bagger after November, not that he needs it. Prick.

Generation[redacted] July 26, 2012 at 7:48 pm

You shouldn't attack success. You should attack failure. Look at that failure over there! Attack him!

bumfug July 26, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Mitt and his friends only stole our jobs as payback for being mean to them.

Spurning Beer July 26, 2012 at 8:07 pm

What's the opposite of Pay It Forward? Steal it forward? Yeah, that's it.

Doktor Zoom July 26, 2012 at 7:49 pm

I'm so terribly sorry–I'm pretty sure I said something about income inequality in the summer of 2008, and then Bear Stearns went belly up.

My bad.

sullivanst July 26, 2012 at 7:53 pm

You must be thinking of Lehman Brothers. Bear died in March 08.

Doktor Zoom July 26, 2012 at 8:01 pm

I *knew* I shoulda looked that up! My negative thinking is probably causing volatility in the futures markets as we speak!

Barb_ July 26, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Don't say that Doktor. I was hoping to invest in some pork bellies here soon.

Beowoof July 26, 2012 at 8:54 pm

I invested in pork belly, cured it with maple and salt and then smoked it, it was awesome.

Boojum July 26, 2012 at 8:12 pm

It was retroactive.

sullivanst July 26, 2012 at 8:36 pm

Well played, my good man, good form.

Generation[redacted] July 26, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Yeah, well, okay. Don't let it happen again.

tessiee July 26, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Also, one time I made fun of Dumbass Bush, and the very next *day*, a schoolbus full of cute lil children went off a cliff.

TavariousChinaSmith July 26, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Not attacking the success so much as the unalloyed rapacity and greed.

But then, I guess the Mittster feels that you can't achieve "success" (more money than a human could ever use in a lifetime) without stepping on a few heads.

Fox n Fiends July 26, 2012 at 7:50 pm

When Arro met Gant

Chet Kincaid July 27, 2012 at 1:03 am

Going Gant

actor212 July 27, 2012 at 9:31 am

In your Arro shirt

Fairtackle July 26, 2012 at 7:50 pm

All right, it was me. I admit it. I caused the recession. I am bad, don't fuck with me.

Sharkey July 26, 2012 at 9:54 pm

And you wanted to be Secretary of the Treasury. Tsk.

NEXT!

tessiee July 26, 2012 at 11:05 pm

*raises hand timidly*
I was the one who told Milli Vanilli that they should go into the music biz.
Also, I invented Crocs.

OzoneTom July 26, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Today, we are all ridiculose.

Spurning Beer July 26, 2012 at 8:08 pm

That's my favorite sugar. That and Poindextrose.

MilwaukeeKent July 26, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Careful with Poindextrose, it almost gave me Total Intestinal Awareness earlier in the century.

bobbert July 26, 2012 at 10:46 pm

Seriously, Poindexter? Seriously?

Nice follow-up.

elfgoldsackring July 26, 2012 at 7:51 pm

"Don't be one of those assholes attacking success! Work hard and become a successful asshole, then you can shit all over those other assholes! Successfully!

Fraudulently_Joe July 26, 2012 at 7:51 pm

You know, Mitt, attacking "Mitt Romney" isn't the same thing as "attacking success". Case in point: your presidential campaigns.

TavariousChinaSmith July 26, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Why don't people like me? Is it because they're jealous of my looks, my intellect, or my work ethic. Yes, it must be because of my work ethic.

sullivanst July 26, 2012 at 7:52 pm

WTF is he talking about?

Can he cite examples of people "attacking success" in early 2006 when the housing market peaked and foreclosure rates started to pick up? Or in 2007 when the recession started? How about in March 2008 when Bear Stearns collapsed?

Why is he so hell-bent on "punishing" work? (since apparently "asking something to be taxed" is equivalent to "punishing" it")

Doktor Zoom July 26, 2012 at 8:03 pm

Did liberals exist at any of those times? QED

anniegetyerfun July 26, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Can he cite examples of ANYTHING? No. And no one in the press will ever ask him to.

sullivanst July 26, 2012 at 8:10 pm

You sound a lot like Laurence O'Donnell did last night. Or was it the night before? I think it was last night.

SayItWithWookies July 26, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Someone had evil thoughts — I could feel it.

starfanglednut July 26, 2012 at 8:15 pm

"WTF is he talking about? "

My thoughts exactly. His sense of superiority is clear. His thinking, not so much.

va_real July 26, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Romney strategy: awkwardly spew random Rovean talking points. Await negative reaction from Earthlings, then retract clumsily and offensively. Repeat ad nauseum.

coolhandnuke July 26, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Mitt: Your mother was a privileged hamster and your father smelled of Mormon elderberries. But they at least earned it.
You, on the other hand, are an empty suited vessel and i fart in your general direction.

Spurning Beer July 26, 2012 at 8:11 pm

I wave my private parts at your auntie. I blow my nose at you, you tiny-brained wiper of other people's bottoms.

That's how it's done, Mitt. Try that on Leader Millibrand.

paulabflat July 26, 2012 at 9:16 pm

go on!

taunt him a second time!!

jodyleek July 27, 2012 at 8:41 am

Fetchez la vache!

Callyson July 26, 2012 at 7:56 pm

"Dividing America based on who has money and who hasn't, who is successful and who is less successful, that is not the American way"

Yeah, I'll try that line next time I've got a student loan payment due…

Willardbot9000_V2.5 July 26, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Really, Mittens? So the next time one of your super rich goon buddies bashes poor people for being poor are you going to give them the same speech? Yeah…thought so. Now back to the caviar and motor oil you pig…and be greatful faux nuuz exists so no one can take you apart with this stupid bullshit.

NellCote71 July 26, 2012 at 10:49 pm

I have confuse. Are we "you people?" I am pretty sure Mrs. Romney divides America into two groups. (I refuse to watch the video. I had enough discomfort watching his comportment in England.)

sullivanst July 27, 2012 at 9:13 am

Seems very much like Romney is dividing America into those who have quiet rooms to talk in, and those who should shut the fuck up.

If you have kids, and fewer than four mansions, I think we all know you don't have a quiet room.

ManchuCandidate July 26, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Based on that logic, we should praise the tape worm, the leech, the ring worm and Paris Hilton. No one likes a parasite, Mitt.

CalamityJames July 27, 2012 at 10:30 am

Funny side note: Paris Hilton is more popular than our current Congress. I blame it on night vision.

Callyson July 26, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Oh, and Mittens? No one is asking for a "handout" from the rich: we are asking them to quit *taking* handouts in the form of tax subsidies and grossly underpaying the people who work for them.

Asshole.

qwerty42 July 26, 2012 at 8:00 pm

This has certainly been a red letter day for the Mittster.
Luckovich, the Mayor of London (I thought it was "Lord Mayor of London", or is that different?). That is the kind of publicity you can't buy.

savethispatient July 26, 2012 at 8:25 pm

The Mayor of London is an elected official (and a fairly new invention), the Lord Mayor is a historic ceremonial role.
To be honest, I had to check that on Wikipedia.

bobbert July 26, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Yeah, I don't think Boris would have ever made "Lord Mayor".

doloras July 26, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Boris is Mayor of Greater London, the Lord Mayor is only elected by the tiny historical inner city where no-one lives but banksters any more.

NellCote71 July 26, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Mitt's kinda 'hood in other words.

doloras July 26, 2012 at 11:00 pm
tessiee July 26, 2012 at 11:10 pm

"(I thought it was "Lord Mayor of London", or is that different?)"

I think the Lord Mayor of London is the one who Puss in Boots went to visit.

Angry_Marmot July 27, 2012 at 3:19 am

And is very, very tall and issues fish licenses.

SorosBot July 26, 2012 at 8:00 pm

Somehow I suspect Mitt's new "insult everybody" campaign strategy isn't going to win him many votes.

ProgressiveInga July 26, 2012 at 8:03 pm

Mitt Rickles?

bobbert July 26, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Perhaps he's craftier than we realize — he was never going to get many British or Polish votes, and the only Israeli ones he cares about are already in AIPAC.

This could just be getting it out of his system, you know?

docterry6973 July 26, 2012 at 8:00 pm

See, it was people like us attacking the rich who caused the recession. They could have made America grow but no; our petty jealousy sapped their will to trickle money down in our general direction. I feel bad now. We eat sh!t. Really.

Typodong3 July 26, 2012 at 8:20 pm

We may eat shit, but I refuse to sit here any longer with open mouth waiting for some of that trickle to get down here.

docterry6973 July 26, 2012 at 8:43 pm

No, no. Wrong thinking. What we need to do to make America great is to learn to tug at our forelock and say 'Thankee, squire' to our betters. You know, Anglo-Saxon values.

sullivanst July 27, 2012 at 9:16 am

Yeah, someone ought to explain to Romney that Dickens was exposing a horror not celebrating a virtue, and that the anglo saxons who stuck it out in the home country have moved on from that shit.

tessiee July 26, 2012 at 11:16 pm

"They could have made America grow but no; our petty jealousy sapped their will to trickle money down in our general direction."

*presses back of hand to forehead*
Oh, it's true! It's *all* true! We're SO LAME!!!
*bites knuckle of index finger*

BarackMyWorld July 26, 2012 at 8:00 pm

“When you attack success you have less of it."

NO MORE JOBS FOR YOU UNTIL YOU STOP HURTING THE ENTREPENUERS' FEELINGS!!!!

johnnymeatworth July 26, 2012 at 8:00 pm

So saving the economy is just like clapping to save Tinkerbell?

SayItWithWookies July 26, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Except that you clap as hard as you can but the guy telling you to clap is also smothering Tinkerbell between his hands as he encourages you, and then when Tinkerbell dies he says it's your fault.

Chet Kincaid July 27, 2012 at 1:10 am

Wtf, is this the Nolan Brothers' Peter pan reboot?!

tessiee July 27, 2012 at 2:15 am

Oh, boy, do I hope that Tim Burton isn't reading that.

Callyson July 26, 2012 at 8:01 pm

"People want more success, they don't want less success"

Yes, that's true…I'd like to see the middle class enjoy more success in preserving their home values, retirement funds, and college savings from the crooks on Wall Street. I'd like to see the working class enjoy more success in accessing a college education without going into crippling debt due to never ending increases in tuition driven by horrendous budget cuts that are necessary because the rich have so successfully resisted paying their fair share in taxes. I'd like to see a lot more success, thanks.

Wait, you were talking about something else?

Fuck this, it just turned 5PM and I need a happy hour again…

anniegetyerfun July 26, 2012 at 8:08 pm

"People want more success, they don't want less success"

That's… did he say that? Out loud? Did anyone sort of titter? Why does he sounds like a child when he talks?

People want more chocolate, they don't want less chocolate. When you criticize chocolate, you will get less chocolate.

va_real July 27, 2012 at 12:29 am

I didn't so much titter as snicker, but same kinda thing.

Why does he sound like a child? Because most of the people who will vote for him like being treated like children?

ChernobylSoup July 26, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Mitt: I live a middle class life, getting by paycheck to paycheck, not putting much away for the future, but along with my wife providing a decent life for our son, and any foster kids we happen to take in. That means I am more successful than you. You will never understand why we hate you.

Hint- it ain't jealousy.

Spurning Beer July 26, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Good on you, CS. How many horses, though, and have you got an auto elevator?

BarackMyWorld July 26, 2012 at 8:03 pm

Republican economics in one sentence: Rich people need more money.

RadioBowels July 26, 2012 at 8:14 pm

You can never be rich enough and you can never be tinny enough.

sullivanst July 27, 2012 at 9:38 am

you can never be tinny enough

I propose a vat of molten tin and a Mitt-dip to test this theory…

deanbooth July 26, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Because giving rich people more money makes them work harder. Giving poor people money, on the other hand, makes them lazier.

tessiee July 27, 2012 at 2:17 am

They also need to grind their heel into a poor person's windpipe every now and then — you know, just for shits and giggles.

gullywompr July 26, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Successful success is successful.

bikerlaureate July 26, 2012 at 10:12 pm

[Noun] [Verb] success.

gullywompr July 26, 2012 at 10:31 pm

win.

CountryClubJihadi July 26, 2012 at 8:04 pm

How much did that pink zebra monstrosity cost?
I can't take this much longer.

CountryClubJihadi July 26, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Mindy Meyer is her stylist now?

Butch_Wagstaff July 26, 2012 at 8:04 pm

I'll just say that I want Romney to keep it up and NOT shut up.

rickmaci July 26, 2012 at 8:34 pm

How do you say "big fucking asshole" in English English?

emmelemm July 26, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Dozy cunt?

I don't know, we need LimeyLizzie to advise us.

bobbert July 26, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Right git?

va_real July 27, 2012 at 12:34 am

Big fucking arsehole is my best guess…

mwittier July 26, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Step1: Buy all the bootstraps.

Step 2: Sell all the bootstraps to the poors and insist they pull themselves up by using them.

Step 3: Tell the poors they are doing it wrong, and repossess all of the bootstraps.

Step 4: Sell the slightly used bootstraps (not very used because the poors didn't try very hard because, lazy) to dirty foreigners.

Step 5: PROFIT! RUN BAREFOOT ACROSS HOT COALS IN SUCCE$$!

upthruster July 26, 2012 at 8:10 pm

He just can't stop himself…because he's a robot really. Tonight on NBC's interview with Brian Williams he sat in London, one of the oldest and biggest cities in Europe and said as an insult and without hesitation that if we head down the path of taxing the wealthy more, than the US would become Europe.

Oh, Mittens…we'll miss all this next year during Obama's second term.

tessiee July 26, 2012 at 11:14 pm

"Oh, Mittens…we'll miss all this next year during Obama's second term."

*voice from back of crowd*
I won't!

sullivanst July 27, 2012 at 9:39 am

More like a pantomime roar of "Oh no we won't"

tessiee July 27, 2012 at 2:21 am

"said as an insult and without hesitation that if we head down the path of taxing the wealthy more, than the US would become Europe."

I suppose I should be appalled or something at how tone-deaf and insensitive this is, and what a terrible impression of America he's creating abroad — like we need it — but I'm sorry, this just flat out cracks me up.
Mitt [clutching pearls]: "Why, without my billions, I'm YOU!"

PubOption July 26, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Mitt can't tell the difference between success and greed.

bikerlaureate July 26, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Or jealousy and repulsion…

coolhandnuke July 26, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Success: 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration.
Romney: 99% privilege and 1% indignation.

rickmaci July 26, 2012 at 8:37 pm

I lived in Massachusetts when he was the runaway Governor. I knew from that time he was an asshole. I never realized back then, he is a stupid fucking asshole.

bobbert July 26, 2012 at 9:35 pm

There is a school of thought (hiding in a corner of my brain, mostly) that holds that Rmoney is not actually stupid, and even recognizes some basic principles of economics and the role of government in promoting the general welfare (even though he's made his fortune in the arcane, manipulative sector of the economy).

But someone has convinced him that he cannot admit to any Keynesian or social-contract leanings or he will lose the tenuous* support he now gets from the "base". So he is reduced to firing off random verbal volleys that he really doesn't believe. I honestly cannot imagine what kind of toll it would take on my intellectual capability if I had to lie, in public, every day for months on end. I expect I would appear confused and at best marginally coherent. So maybe that's the deal with Mitt.

Of course, there's another school of thought, hosted by the majority of my brain and the brains of tens of millions of others, that he's simply a sociopathic, entitled fuckwad.

Decisions, decisions.

* Because Mormon, doh.

Dudleydidwrong July 26, 2012 at 11:25 pm

Your first premise presents us with a beautiful example of polishing a turd.

I firmly buy into your second premise.

sullivanst July 27, 2012 at 9:35 am

Given the prodigious amount of lying strictly for personal gain involved in the first alternative, doesn't it imply the second?

anniegetyerfun July 26, 2012 at 8:12 pm

This is the ad that shows when I got to CNN to read about Mitt. http://www.cadillac.com/xts-luxury-sedan.html

savethispatient July 26, 2012 at 8:26 pm

So good, I bought two for my wife!

docterry6973 July 26, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Looks nice. If I trundle over to the dealer maybe they will let me look at one for a few minutes.

RadioBowels July 26, 2012 at 8:13 pm

Hey fucknuts, if you are so proud about your success, you shouldn't be so ashamed of your tax records.

bobbert July 26, 2012 at 9:38 pm

The tax records should be like Success Silver Stars, or the Successful Medal of Honor.

Boojum July 26, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Mittens has a new slogan: I'm Great, You Suck.

Let's see how it works.

BlueStateLibel July 26, 2012 at 8:16 pm

And the Mitt Rmoney comedy tour rolls on …

CheeseBro69 July 26, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Let me get this straight, we're supposed to fellate Mittens 24/7 because he was born rich and handsome and somehow waltzed into being a multimillionaire by firing poors?

bobbert July 26, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Yes.

pinkocommi July 26, 2012 at 8:17 pm

“When you attack success you have less of it.” -Rmoney

If you define "success" as being born to parents who are politically connected and elite multi-millionaires but being oblivious to the fact that your "success" has been handed to you then, I am ALL for attacking success so that we have less of it.

Obama, who was born to a middle class family, elected to Editor of Harvard Law Review, wrote a well-written and moving autobiography that eventually became a best-seller and made him lots of money, worked as a community organizer before running for local political office, Senator, and eventually President without a family fortune to bankroll him. HE truly is a success. And isn't funnyhow much the Republitards attack him…. <<sigh>>

Typodong3 July 26, 2012 at 8:18 pm

We arent attacking you because you are rich, Mittens. We are attacking you because you are a douchebag rich fuck who was born a rich fuck, gamed the system because you were born a rich fuck, and managed to fuck everyone else in your quest to become rich. Fuck.

Blueb4sinrise July 26, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Fuckin-ayyyyyyy
I wish you much future p.

paulabflat July 26, 2012 at 9:20 pm

needs waaaaaaaaaaaaay more fuck.

to do him justice, that is.

bobbert July 26, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Nice finish.

tessiee July 27, 2012 at 2:24 am

Also, fuck Mitt and the horse he rode in on, and the horse his wifelet rode in on, also too.

MonkeyMotion July 26, 2012 at 8:19 pm

The Obama re-election team should save million$$$ by simply running unedited tapes of Romney speaking, acting 'normal', etc. Mittens is a priceless, cringe-worthy, dumb-ass!

Katydid July 26, 2012 at 8:21 pm

Heh heh heh…Andrew Sullivan says Willard said he was in "the nation of Great Britain."

Does the Mittster come from the nation of Utah or the nation of Michigan?

RadioBowels July 26, 2012 at 8:39 pm

Or Taxachussetts?

bobbert July 26, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Well, when discussing the UK, the notion of "nation" does get a little cloudy. But of all the possibilities, the "nation of Great Britain" will definitely piss off the largest number of people.

sullivanst July 27, 2012 at 9:29 am

Probably the least accurate possible formulation.

United Kingdom = United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland = Britain = England+Wales+Scotland+Northern Ireland = what Parliament has authority over.

Great Britain = England+Wales+Scotland. There is no governmental unit with authority over all these places and no others.

Calling any one of England, Wales, Scotland or Northern Ireland a nation wouldn't be completely wrong, but it certainly wouldn't be a full explanation of their status. The UK is really the country in the way it's normally understood.

But, they do confuse things by identifying themselves in sporting events as "GBR", and their currency is listed as "GBP".

Still, you'd have thought that if you were going on a foreign trip with the intention of proving that you'd still be OK on foreign policy despite having absolutely no experience whatsoever on that front, you might do a little thing called "research".

HistoriCat July 27, 2012 at 11:39 am

Research is for the little people.

bobbert July 28, 2012 at 7:15 pm

I was using the term "nation" in the sense that I learned it in Poli Sci 101 a hundred years ago: a geographical area with a population sharing a common history and socio-cultural background. Differentiated from a "state", which is a political / governmental unit. In my way of looking at things, England, Scotland, Ireland, and maybe Wales are "nations". The UK is a state (as is the US).

In any case, as you point out, Great Britain is neither.

Also, I'm not certain, but I think the reason they use GBR may be because in the Olympics, athletes from Northern Ireland can choose to belong to either Team GBR or Team IRL. (In things like the World Cup, they dispense with the GB stuff, and field sides from England, Scotland, Wales, etc.)

sullivanst July 29, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Not sure about the Northern Ireland part… the British Olympic Association describes itself as “the National Olympic Commttee for Great Britain and Northern Ireland”. It seems more likely to be due to the fact they've been competing as GBR since the first modern olympics, which was, of course, prior to Irish independence (although back then they were “The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, but they weren't exactly known for giving a crap about the Irish).

RadioBowels July 26, 2012 at 8:24 pm

The 0.1% are the most insecure, paranoid people there are. To wit.

Dudleydidwrong July 26, 2012 at 11:29 pm

That's because they know, deep down, that there is always the chance that the 99% will catch on to their little game of ripping off the people, buying the politicians, and whining like kids yanked from the candy store, and will rise up and rip out their fucking guts. It may be time…

RadioBowels July 27, 2012 at 12:21 am

I said this two days ago:
If it wasn't for religion relentless Right Wing propaganda the poor would murder the rich.

Napolean Radio.

starfanglednut July 26, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Sigh…I've said this before on Wonkette, and now I have to say it again.
I'm so so so so so so fucking sick of this republican contention that hard work is all that's required for success, and that opportunity in this society is equal for all.
The guy washing dishes for minimum wage and no benefits 12 hours a day works harder than Mitt has ever worked in is pathetic, obscenely overprivileged life, and doesn't have a mansion with a car elevator and millions in offshore accounts to show for it. Willard probably couldn't do that guy's job for one day without flipping out. Never mind going home to his run down, insect ridden apartment in a dangerous neighborhood. And taking a second minimum wage job to get his kids cavities filled. And that dishwasher's kids don't have the opportunities that Mitt's brats have. So fuck Mitt Romney.

bobbert July 26, 2012 at 9:43 pm

This. A thousand times this.

sullivanst July 27, 2012 at 9:30 am

Yes indeed. A bumpy upfist for it. In a good way, of course.

mrblifil July 26, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Did he just come from meeting Mick Jagger? "SUCCESS SUCCESS SUCCESS!!!" Go ahead Mittens. Pile it up, pile it high on a platter. Shadoobie.

LetUsBray July 26, 2012 at 10:09 pm

But when the shit hits the fan, he'll be sitting on the can. The gold-plated, bewilderingly high-tech can that cleans your bottom for you.

Generation[redacted] July 26, 2012 at 8:37 pm

You people are looking at this the wrong way. We can make any demands we want, and if they don't give in, we'll start criticizing other people's success, bringing the economy to its knees! They'll be powerless to stop us!

sullivanst July 27, 2012 at 9:22 am

And if they object, we can always threaten them with the comfy chair!

PubOption July 27, 2012 at 11:13 am

The reverse Galt?

iburl July 26, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Mitt puts the suck in success.

One_Man_Band July 26, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Proposed campaign theme song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYeDY6YkzIg

GeorgiaBurning July 26, 2012 at 8:42 pm

I can see why Romney is afraid of class warfare. Is there a deck of cards with his picture on it yet?

iburl July 26, 2012 at 9:49 pm

I've got a joker in mine.

RadioBowels July 26, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Lost in the success of his banality, he references the twit that will give him teabagger and middle-class cred — Marco Polo Rubio.

new_pic_for_NEWTer July 26, 2012 at 8:49 pm

In a country well governed, poverty is something to be ashamed of. In a country badly governed, wealth is something to be ashamed of.
Confucius

sati_demise July 26, 2012 at 9:36 pm

I am so stealing this.

Blueb4sinrise July 26, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Danielle Blake ‏@DCPlod
There we were thinking 'Anglo-Saxon' would be the worst part of Romney's trip to Britain. #RomneyShambles

Michelle Matthews ‏@Tymlee
Romney claims he was not in London this week, in fact hasn't been there since 1999 #RomneyShambles

https://twitter.com/#!/search/%23romneyshambles

Caroline Roche ‏@Caroline_Roche
#RomneyShambles – this just in… @MittRomney has released his UK tax returns!

Shockwave ‏@Shockwave
Mitt Romney is a master of diplomacy, insulting Britain in a way that would even impress the French #RomneyShambles

bobbert July 26, 2012 at 9:45 pm

#RomneyShambles is the #shit.

Callyson July 26, 2012 at 9:54 pm

TheNewDeal ‏@TheNewDeal
Look on the Bright Side Brits, You Only Have to Deal with Mitt for a Few Days. We're Stuck with Him Until November.

Excuse me, I need some more drinks now…

glasspusher July 26, 2012 at 9:04 pm

There are no losers like me.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 July 26, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Mittens, your success shouldn't be celebrated, you should be hung upside down and shaken until every one of your ill-gotten corporate raider cash falls out to repay the people who's pensions you stole, the offices you plundered and the company shareholders you fleeced. You can have all the money you made turning around companies…all $50 of it.

sati_demise July 26, 2012 at 9:37 pm

huzzah!

upthruster July 26, 2012 at 9:28 pm

I think the Brits are pretty adept at protesting and smearing their wealthy over there. I'm sure they would approve of Americans ripping on the rich mannequin questioning their ability to host an Olympics for a while. Yes, Mitt…I think the attacks will be successful, even Rupert Murdoch has to resign this week.

sati_demise July 26, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Mittens is riding back on the top of the plane, tail tucked between his legs

watch your head if he flies over!

sati_demise July 26, 2012 at 9:35 pm

god, the Onion is so funny sometimes.

Beowoof July 26, 2012 at 9:37 pm

No one is afraid of success, it is an issue when it is taken at the expense of people who work for a living. This fucker created nothing. He only manipulated the system for his own ends. Steve Jobs, Henry Ford, even Bill Gates were part of companies that created products that people wanted. All Mitt did was find companies that were doing well and with money from his dad and right wing pals bought those companies and then stripped out the good stuff and bankrupted the bad all at enormous profit for himself.

MilwaukeeKent July 26, 2012 at 9:39 pm

They've been trying like Hell to get under Obama's skin, since the day he took office, and make him angry so they can finally point and say "See? Angry Black Guy" to the one third of high-school-or-less whites who still support him. They really want to drive that wedge. Obama continues being Jackie Robinson running the bases despite the taunts from the bleachers.

Romney is so thin-skinned on the topic of his wealth that you can practically see his internal organs. It takes nothing at all to set him off. Again, one-sixth the man his father was.

LetUsBray July 26, 2012 at 10:14 pm

And one-sixtieth the man his opponent is.

MilwaukeeKent July 26, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Word!

Steverino247 July 27, 2012 at 9:14 am

So then it's the consensus here that the best part of him ran down the crack of his momma's ass?

SayItWithWookies July 26, 2012 at 9:42 pm

I'm glad someone's finally saying we shouldn't be attacking success. Okay, it's a little funny that the person saying it got rich(er) by buying successful businesses, using them as collateral to fund the buyout, charging them huge consulting fees, looting their pension fund and advising them into bankruptcy. Because that sounds like my definition of attacking success.

Sharkey July 26, 2012 at 9:59 pm

It isn't success if it can be so easily brought down.

Success needs to be clad in glass or gold. Then surrounded with titanium.

When sensors detect an attack on you, you respond in kind my friend.

Simply put, do not attack success, you pathetic muppet.

Misty Malarky July 26, 2012 at 9:48 pm

So – if I vote for Mittens I get to be rich, too – right?

DahBoner July 27, 2012 at 7:21 am

Looks outside…

Someday son, all this will be yours…

viennawoods13 July 27, 2012 at 10:07 am

What, the curtains?

randcoolcatdaddy July 26, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Is Mitt doing this intentionally so he can stuff all the campaign donations in a Swiss bank account when he goes down in flames?

LetUsBray July 26, 2012 at 10:15 pm

This is starting to look like the "Springtime for Hitler" of presidential campaigns, isn't it?

bobbert July 26, 2012 at 9:58 pm

"The trip was meant to make him look presidential… it made him look like Mr. Bean. #Romneyshambles"

jodyleek July 27, 2012 at 9:01 am

Bean/Teddy 2012!

sullivanst July 27, 2012 at 9:46 am

He should have been more like Mr. Bean, and kept his stupid mouth shut.

Slim_Pickins July 26, 2012 at 10:00 pm

He is beginning to remind me of Tinkerbell. Click your heels together and believe.

One_Man_Band July 26, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Good lord, what is this, the 4th post about Romney in one day? The man is so inherently unfunny, even Wonkette can't make him mildly amusing, no matter how stoopid his antics. Lord help me, its HOW LONG until the election?

sati_demise July 27, 2012 at 1:20 am

word

Self-Uploader July 26, 2012 at 10:03 pm

I know blood is thicker than politics and all that, but at this point, seriously, can we seriously just stop talking to any relatives stupid enough to be considering voting for this clown because, seriously?

Chet Kincaid July 27, 2012 at 1:31 am

Wake up, White People!

DerrickWildcat July 27, 2012 at 1:45 am

I am awake!

vasty_derp July 27, 2012 at 2:06 am

Me too!

DahBoner July 27, 2012 at 7:20 am

Lets Take America Back!

…to the 14th Century.

new_pic_for_NEWTer July 26, 2012 at 10:18 pm

In a country well governed, poverty is something to be ashamed of. In a country badly governed, wealth is something to be ashamed of.

DustBowlBlues July 26, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Just last night, I was thinking about how my working class parents did a good job, owning their own home and sending me to a state university. Not in a grand style, mind you, but without any loans, either.

Until Mittbot corrected me about the two of those Fucking losers!!!!!

Biel_ze_Bubba July 26, 2012 at 10:32 pm

OT, but why the hell do we have to have Bristle, the Kardassians, and other "reality TV" harpies inflicted upon us, while the Aussies get this?

(Patience may be needed; about a billion people are hitting that server right now.)

bobbert July 26, 2012 at 10:56 pm

Nice form.

MilwaukeeKent July 27, 2012 at 1:59 am

And I say to myself, what a wonderful world…

doloras July 26, 2012 at 10:35 pm

And if you think THIS is an insane embarrassment of a clusterfuck or a meltdown, imagine if it were Gingrich or Frothy Mess or Herman Cain over there right now.

RadioBowels July 26, 2012 at 11:16 pm

He's the créme de la trough.

mosjef July 26, 2012 at 10:47 pm

Romnuts, may your private car elevator crush your foot.

tessiee July 26, 2012 at 11:03 pm

"Thank you, Sir! May I have another?"

tessiee July 26, 2012 at 11:13 pm

If there's any lesson that history has taught us, it's that, if everyone leaves them alone and asks for nothing, the rich and powerful can always be trusted to do the right thing of their own free will.

va_real July 27, 2012 at 1:58 am

Yeah, noblesse oblige! I think we once had a dressage horse named that.

tessiee July 26, 2012 at 11:21 pm

"People want more success, they don't want less success"

Really?
Is it better to be healthy than to be sick?
And is the sun, perchance, hot?
Mitt's really just as sharp as a MARBLE, isn't he?

DahBoner July 27, 2012 at 7:17 am

Water is wet too, my friends…

tessiee July 26, 2012 at 11:43 pm

“When you attack success you have less of it,” he lectures, “and that’s what we’ve seen in our economy over the last few years.”

In other words, Romney and the rest of the 1% have been raping us since the first Reagan administration, but the REAL problem is that we stubbornly refuse to moan.

tessiee July 26, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Saying that the recession was caused by the victims calling attention to it is like saying that global warming is caused by thermometers.

helefink July 26, 2012 at 11:50 pm

Does he understand that he's running for office, for Pete's sake?

Biel_ze_Bubba July 27, 2012 at 1:15 am

Kind of makes you wonder, doesn't it?

DahBoner July 27, 2012 at 7:16 am

Does he understand that he's running for office

Douchebag of the Year???

smokefilledroomba July 27, 2012 at 8:52 am

For Mitt's sake he does.

nowave July 27, 2012 at 12:39 am

Mitt Romney: The Git that keeps on Gaffing.

ElPinche July 27, 2012 at 12:47 am

Willard Romney, the new W.

Chet Kincaid July 27, 2012 at 1:35 am

No, it's a different form of National Embarassment. Enjoy Mitt for his own demerits!

Nostrildamus July 27, 2012 at 12:50 am

Sounds like he's talking out the backside of 10 Downing.

smokefilledroomba July 27, 2012 at 12:53 am

He's successful in using the term 'success' ten times in a fucking minute!

smokefilledroomba July 27, 2012 at 1:03 am

Do not attack success.
Success may stick to certain types of skin.
Caution: success may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
Ingredients of success include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

tessiee July 27, 2012 at 2:06 am

Do not apply success to abrasions or mucous membranes, or use near eyes.
Do not ingest success internally. If success is accidentally ingested internally, call the nearest poison control center.
Wash hands thoroughly after handling success, and again before meals.
Do not use success near heat source or open flame.
Sticker price of success does not include license, tax, tags, and dealer preparation fees.
Objects in success may be closer than they appear.
Do not taunt Happy Fun Success.

smokefilledroomba July 27, 2012 at 2:44 am

Success has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
Success comes with a lifetime guarantee.

Chet Kincaid July 27, 2012 at 9:10 am

Women and children should not handle success, and should seek medical attention if they develop facial hair or avarice.

Blueb4sinrise July 27, 2012 at 1:17 am

Plez Joyner ‏@plezWorld

MT @FrankTheDoorman: BREAKING NEWS: Mitt Romney fires interpreter after making stupid gaffes in London. #romneyshambles

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 27, 2012 at 1:46 am

Aw crap, I've been trying so hard to avoid this "Romney in London" thing but, as a Britisher, I've finally fucking had enough.

As a theoretical, let's say us Brits had sent poxy Elton John to Sisterfuck Kansas and had him spout off about how all Americans are fat, ill-educated, jesus-freak, gun nut diabetic morons. That'd be the move of a bunch of cunts, right? So why on earth is your GODDAMN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE over on our rather pleasant sceptered isle acting like the worst kind of ugly American? What's the fucking deal? What did we do? Sure, Susan Boyle and the Spice Girls, but come on. We deserve better than this shit.

It reminds me of when that other self-promoting cunt with the aircraft carrier-sized ego (David fucking Blaine) came to London thinking we'd all be bowled over that some famous legerdemain prat deigned to honour us with his presence. He sat in a transparent box by Tower Bridge and didn't eat. Fucking wow. Of course, the Brits were unimpressed by this and would sit under hit box and eat chips, or tee up on the bridge and drive golf balls at him. Then there was the newspaper which stuck a happy meal under a remote controller helicopter and flew it round him.

Blaine said he'd never come to London again, to which the overwhelming response was "good". Romney deserves the same damn treatment.

As for this "attacking success" horseshit, well. It's a straight-up lie, right? Everyone sees that. Everyone. Britain is in a second fucking recession thanks to the policies of that other fucking idiot you elected TWICE, so we're really sorry if we get a bit miffed when your latest plutocrat cunt turns up and spouts this bollocks again.

I love America and most Americans, but seriously, sometimes you guys are fucking nuts.

va_real July 27, 2012 at 1:50 am

So I take it that we can't talk you Brits into keeping him over there, huh? Maybe the Poles will want him, though?

DerrickWildcat July 27, 2012 at 1:53 am

USA USA USA!!
USA Triple A Plus best Country in the world!

tessiee July 27, 2012 at 2:08 am

"the newspaper which stuck a happy meal under a remote controller helicopter and flew it round him."

This?
Is so shitty/awesome that we need a new word, or possibly even a new brain, for it.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 27, 2012 at 2:16 am

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/141759/

Turns out it was the paper which set up the stunt, but the photo is priceless.

RadioBowels July 27, 2012 at 8:26 am

Happy Meals® are a success to my friend.

bobbert July 27, 2012 at 3:54 am

Oh c'mon Fukui-san, you know that pretty much everybody reading this comment would like to see Mitt mobbed and eaten by the Tower ravens. The problem is that we, collectively, averaged over the whole fucking continent, are always fucking nuts. We really might have done better to just let the Confederate traitors secede.

Aside #1: Because I don't pay much attention, I thought David Blaine was British. Since not, his assholery rating rises to Reaganesque levels. Please kick him in the nuts for me, if you get the chance. I'll reciprocate, if I have the opportunity.

Aside #2: I'm neutral on Susan Boyle, but I actually found the Spice Girls to be sort of entertaining in a lightweight-entertaining way.

NYNYNYjr July 27, 2012 at 1:47 am

"I admire the Queen. She has been very successful. She's even richer than me."

tessiee July 27, 2012 at 2:01 am

Is Mitt possessed by demons? Extremely boring, yet entertainingly gaffe-prone, Mormon demons? It's impossible to diagnose.

DerrickWildcat July 27, 2012 at 2:05 am

If he farts, it means he has the Devil inside him!

helefink July 27, 2012 at 2:33 am

Mitt Romney to the poors: "Eat my fart, losers!"

crybabyboehner July 27, 2012 at 2:16 am

No, Herr Mitt, we just hate you because you are beautiful …

crybabyboehner July 27, 2012 at 2:22 am

He insulted ponchos? What an asshole …

Steverino247 July 27, 2012 at 9:20 am

Were those Sears ponchos or Mexican ponchos?

DerrickWildcat July 27, 2012 at 2:48 am

A good way to learn how to act around people is to play The Sims. I think Mitt should spend about a Month playing The Sims non-stop.

smokefilledroomba July 27, 2012 at 4:50 am

I thought he was too busy playing Second Wife. *rimshot*

bobbert July 27, 2012 at 3:34 am

Mitt, you sociopathic piece of shit, I'll tell you what people (those of us who are not comfortably ensconced in the 0.01%) want. We want our children (or step-children, or nephews and nieces) to have a genuine chance to do a little bit better than we did, whether that "better" is simple financial success or the betterment of society, or both.

We want them to succeed, but we fervently hope that they can do so without having to become asshole sellouts such as you.

thatsitfortheother1 July 27, 2012 at 4:43 am

Nice sentiment.

Unfortunately, selling out is where the money is at.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 27, 2012 at 5:38 am

Social mobility in the US is worse than in France, and worse than most of Western Europe.

I blame success, or something.

HistoriCat July 27, 2012 at 12:24 pm

It's Obama's fault – duh.

arihaya July 27, 2012 at 6:28 am

even the Murdoch's Times said Romney was ""worse than Sarah Palin in terms of basic diplomacy."

DahBoner July 27, 2012 at 7:04 am

Bernie Madoff had a successful $65 Billion dollar Ponzi scheme.

So why did we "attack" him and put him in prison?

Because he had a very small penis. The End.

RadioBowels July 27, 2012 at 8:21 am

He puts the sucks in success.

Chet Kincaid July 27, 2012 at 9:07 am

This is all, collectively, the best thing that could have happened. Please, please, please, keep appalling, alienating and embarrassing your party, your potential voters, and your country, from coast to coast, and in every nation on this earth, Mittens! It is your patriotic duty.

Self-Uploader July 27, 2012 at 9:12 am

And if he elected, he will declare himself king, so we can look up to him better from a lower height. Also because that's what the founding fathers would have wanted.

BZ1 July 27, 2012 at 10:21 am

Just STFU.

ttommyunger July 27, 2012 at 11:12 am

So, Mittens; I don't know the German, but the gist is that "WORK WILL MAKE YOU FREE", right?

Blunderthing July 27, 2012 at 11:46 am

I'm actually getting this kind of crap at work: "We mismanaged the place into the ground so you guys must work four times as hard so the folk who fucked the place up can still make the big bucks. Why are you so lazy that you won't work 24/7 for the good of the country? Er, company?"

BoroPrimorac July 27, 2012 at 12:47 pm

My father was way different than Marco Rubio's old man. When pop drove us around Miami he'd point at the big houses and tell us which mansions belonged to members of the Cuban mafia. He'd look back at us from the driver's seat and remind us that our city was built on money laundering and cocaine.

HelmutNewton July 27, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Success is people too, my friend!

valthemus July 28, 2012 at 3:22 am

Oh, Mittens… you really are counting on voters working too hard for too little to pay attention to the crap coming out of your mouth, aren't you?

"Mitt the Twit" indeed.

RadioBowels July 27, 2012 at 1:13 am

Rhythmic Jim Newell Nastics
High Muff Diving
Banhammer Throw
Mutually Beneficial Rowing
Two Man Luge
Cross Dressaging

Nothingisamiss July 27, 2012 at 9:05 am

Two thumbs up for cross dressaging.

Tommy1733 July 27, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Schoenkopf Scissoring?

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