no apologies

How Else Has Mitt Romney Insulted Jolly Olde Englande?

Sorry Queen, but your tiny house is not up to snuffMitt Romney is trying to prove his foreign policy chops are so much better than stupid hapless old Obama’s, and so he and his advisors are barnstorming across London, whinging about the threat from the Soviet Union. But His Lord High Hairgel has not had the easiest of receptions, as every person in that small island nation has their knickers up their bum because he is constantly insulting them. That’s right. Mitt Romney managed to make a trip supposed to “project leadership” into an international incident with our closest ally. But is laughing at their stupid Olympics (which could not possibly compare to the “national disgrace” helmed by Ol Mittens) the first time he has insulted Great Britain? We will give you one guess.

Via Political Wire:

Romney wrote, in his book, No Apology:

“England is just a small island. Its roads and houses are small. With few exceptions, it doesn’t make things that people in the rest of the world want to buy. And if it hadn’t been separated from the continent by water, it almost certainly would have been lost to Hitler’s ambitions.”

Special relationship is special, all right.

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Madfall

    Kindly get the fuck out of my country RMoney, I don't want you leeching off my socialism.

    • sati_demise

      haha that would be kind of funny for Mitt to have a medical emergency there and be forced to participate in socialism and all the questions about how bad/good universal health is in England. rock and hard place

      • tessiee

        I'd settle just for Mitt having a medical emergency, provided that it was painful and/or humilating.

        • Terry

          A massive case of piles, would be nice.

          • http://www.wonkette.com TanzbodenKoenig

            R-Hemmorhoids… Oh wait thats Newt

        • Tundra Grifter

          How about throwing up into the Prime Minister's lap?

    • Billmatic

      Brring, brring! Hello? Hi! It's the 1930s! Can we have our words and clothes and shitty airplane back?

    • Typodong3

      Mittens already leeches off Europe by parking all of his money over there to avoid taxes. I bet he doesn't even pay the storage fees!

    • Callyson

      Decent Americans everywhere would like to apologize to all Brits for this latest American embarassment…

    • TribecaMike

      He just wants to buy the National Truss.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Why don't the right wing nutz ever mention Israel (the little country they love so much) is socialist? The government pays thousands (perhaps as many as 10,000) ultra-religious men to not work and not join the military, despite compulsory service.

  • nounverb911

    Has Mitt baptized the Queen yet?

    • RadioBowels

      Wait. Whut? the Queen is dead??!?

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Well, she's was coughing up blood this morning.

        • KeepFnThatOwl

          'Ow much rat in it?

      • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

        "Long Live Queen Charles!"

    • coolhandnuke

      Yes, Freddy Mercury is rising.

    • Terry

      Are you kidding? He's angling to make her a sister wife. Old Phillip's in rocky health.

    • barto

      She's gotta croak first.

      • Butch_Wagstaff

        And that probably won't happen for another thirty years.

    • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      Is that a Cockney euphemism?

    • tihond

      He's made his way through the Tudors, but not the Windsors yet.

  • noodlesalad

    When does the Obama "Apologize for Romney" tour begin?

    • kittensdontlie

      Only Mittens III can turn the silk ear that's our national goodwill under Obama, into the sow's ear of Bush years once again.

  • veritass

    Clearly the trees are not the right height either.

    • docterry6973

      Nor is the island the right size.

    • Typodong3

      And the incessant rain isnt the right wetness.

    • miss_grundy

      And the houses are too small…Buckingham Palace must be a little, itty, bitty thing……

      • http://www.wonkette.com TanzbodenKoenig

        Not even a car elevator. What are these the damn Dark Ages?

  • RadioBowels

    Spoken like a true patriot!
    The Founding Fathers would be proud!
    USA! USA! USA!

    • TribecaMike

      Neigh! Neigh! Neigh! Neigh! Neigh! Neigh!

      (Oops, that was meant for the horsey story)

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    "Beatles, Pink Floyd, Rolling Stones, Radiohead a bunch of limey crap!"
    American music my friends http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cavmIu5Auk

    • va_real

      Give me Lawrence Welk, 101 Strings & Pat Boone any day. Now that's REAL MUSIC.

      • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

        I grew up Listening to Lawrence Welk. My Grandpa and Grandma lived in Bohunk central

        • va_real

          Yeah, I did some time watching Bobby & Cissy in my yute. It was that or HeeHaw on Saturday nights. Of course, we watched Hee Haw also, too.

          • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

            Oh sure. We would get all excited to see if they would name a Nebraska town, the population and SALUTE! Even if it was some dumb Iowa or Kansas town, it was a near miss and pretty exciting!

          • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

            I grew up on a farm, 2 miles from a dance hall in the middle of Bumfuck. It was called "The Bohemian Hall".

          • RadioBowels

            We should start a support group. I thought I was the only one with that childhood trauma.

          • va_real
        • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

          How could I forget the EEFIN!
          We had a local band that would do an Eefin routine. They were fucking great.

      • tessiee

        And also too, songs by guys in cowboy hats about boots going into places, yeehaw.

        • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

          Still waiting young lady.

    • SmutBoffin

      You forgot Maiden, dude.

      • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

        Priest!

        • sullivanst

          Zep, Sabbath.

          • horsedreamer_1

            Bill Ward was a better timekeeper than Bonzo.

    • pdiddycornchips

      The Stones and the Beatles were heavily influenced by black music here in the good 'ol USA. They both owe a great deal of their success to people like Fats Domino and Muddy Waters.

      • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

        I can't hear you lalalalala. I can't hear you lalalalala. I can't hear you lalalalala.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid

      Obama's Step-Dad was in The Association?! Cool!

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid

      Funny, they forgot to mention freecreditreport.com. Or 5 dollar foot-longs.

  • sbj1964

    Off with his head!

    • va_real

      Won't they be surprised at all that circuitry exposed?

      • tessiee

        Only if they've never observed him trying to speak, smile, walk, etc.

      • YasserArraFeck

        As long as he's unplugged when you chop, there are no real safety issues.

    • bikerlaureate

      With votes.

    • WhatTheHeck

      sbj1964, the correct term is “orff with his ead.”

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Of course, the toffee nosed bastards conquered most of the world, made the most powerful navy ever seen and turned 4 o'clock tea and the English language into staples of tinted peoples the world over so that Mittens could take jawbs from US Amercians and give them to the same tinted peoples.

    • va_real

      And even the Pitcairn Islanders play cricket.

      • WhatTheHeck

        Right now Mittens is playing in the Silly Mid-Off position.

        • Boojum

          I thought he was the Silly Sod Off!

      • doloras

        I call bullshit. There aren't enough people on Pitcairn for two cricket teams.

        • va_real

          Doh- I forgot about the Pitcairners being relocated to Norfolk Island. But they used to play cricket…

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Well, when they aren't raping their relatives and such.

    • Terry

      Not to mention scones with clotted cream, and then there are digestive biscuits with chocolate on one side. Mmmmm.

  • Baconzgood

    Blitzes are people too my friend.

    • va_real

      I like my blintzes with blueberries… Wait- what?

    • Terry

      Oh, for his next gaffe, he should suggest that it was silly of the Queen Mum to stay in London during the Blitz and put herself in danger. Please say that, Mitt, please!

  • IncenseDebate

    There you go again with your commie reading of actual words Mittbot typed once.

    • Typodong3

      Libtards really need to stop distorting what Mittens is saying by repeating his words verbatim.

    • Thurman Munster IV

      Using words that were there, so to speak

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    I repeat what I said a few threads earlier: Obama's going to have to go an apology tour for Mitt.

    EDIT:

    Jeez, third on the thread with this. I do have to start wearing Depends when I Wonk.

    • rickmaci

      Oh yah. Wouldn't Barry on a rebuilding morale tour in Europe be a wonder to see.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        "We try to keep them deep in the heartland, you see, but they're free to wander the countryside. Fortunately, most of them, the vast majority, don't have passports, except hoity toity types like my opponent. We'll try to sedate them a little better."

  • bumfug

    Latest – Mitt caught on live mic at lunch telling waiter, "Fuck tea".

    • WhatTheHeck

      Yeah, Tea has that Devil caffeine ingredient in it.

      • sullivanst

        Also, served at the temperature of hell.

    • ThankYouJeebus

      Bill O'Reilly would've thought he was ordering tea in Harlem.

  • Baconzgood

    Mitt: The Oops tour 2012.

    • bikerlaureate

      Today turned out great.

      The really scary thing is to consider how badly things might have gone if Rmoney didn't “fully appreciate the shared history we have” with those Anglo-Saxon types.

  • user-of-towels
    • Geminisunmars

      Imma gonna hafta re-watcheh thissa movie.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        One of the best.

  • Wadisay

    Oh, please, some journalist ask Mitt what he thinks about the effect of national healthcare on British orthodonture and the size of their willies.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    His biggest insult was showing up as a Presidential candidate.

    • Terry

      He needs to justify being over there to watch his wife compete in the dressage events. That's all this is.

  • sudsmckenzie

    Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning, of insults.

  • bumfug

    Asked for his first impression of the British people, Mitt won hearts and minds by quipping, "Nice teeth…NOT!"

    • rickmaci

      Thought he was talking to a horse. Turns out it was Camila Parker Bowles Windsor Duchess Highness Lordess of Chuxdic.

      • tessiee

        If "Chuxdic" isn't a real word, it should be.

  • rickmaci

    You have to wonder if Twitt Romoney works hard at being such a big asshole or if it just comes naturally.

    • docterry6973

      It is a gift; it came in the box with his lifetime supply of entitlement and smugness.

      • emmelemm

        And the silver spoon?

    • Typodong3

      If you call downloading the latest Asshole(tm) program hard work, then, yes.

    • http://www.wonkette.com TanzbodenKoenig

      You have to wonder if Romney ever worked hard a day in his life first…

  • ChernobylSoup

    Mitt to England before he leaves: "Er, wanna iPod?"

  • BaldarTFlagass

    ♫ Alllllll night
    He was the Dumb American
    (Dumb American, Dumb American
    He was the Dumb American) ♪

    • va_real

      Do you remember, your President Nixon?
      Do you remember, the bills you have to pay
      For even yesterday?

    • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

      "I'm afraid of plastic Americans"

      • GunToting[Redacted]

        I'm afraid of American Androids.

  • chascates

    I can't wait until he gets to Poland and starts telling them jokes. Polish jokes, that is.

    • va_real

      You are very PC, chascates.

    • vtxmcrider

      He will try to break the ice with the Polish president by nervously (as always) joking, "Mr. President, I see that your kielbasa is just the right size. Ha ha ha."

    • HarryButtle

      I'm reminded of the Fawlty Towers episode in which Basil suffers a concussion and cannot stop talking about the war to his German guests. I imagine Mitt's tour will go something like that.

      Please stop talking about the war!
      Well, you started it.
      We did not.
      Yes you did, you invaded Poland!

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
      None. There were no light bulbs in the 1700s, so it wouldn't be constitutional. Also, they heard Obama supports illumination.

  • http://www.tumblr.com/blog/hamsterpantsworld Hammiepants

    What an asshole. I guess he's never heard of the blitz, and how England pretty much kept Hitler at bay until we decided to get our asses in the war? SUCH an uninformed goatblowing assclown.

    • sullivanst

      Also never heard of the North Africa campaign, with the British 8th Army held off the Axis for two years before Ike turned up, without benefit of a water barrier.

    • Typodong3

      PETA would like you to stop insulting goats like that. Oh and clowns too.

  • sati_demise

    We are all ugly Americans while Mitt attends the Olympic games

    • rickmaci

      Don't blame me. I'm voting for the other guy.

      • finallyhappy

        RAMEN to that, brother!!

    • miss_grundy

      Americans attending th Olympics will have to walk around beating their chests and chanting "mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa", especially if they are dumb-ass Republicans….oh wait– those people don't travel to Europe!

  • http://matthewgreenbaum.com swordfis

    Wonkeditor is to be congratulated for finding the above quote about the likelihood of England's absorption into the Third Reich. What is the quickest way of making this public knowledge before Mr. Romney removes his gilded tongue to the next destination? It would make the English so happy to know!

    • qwerty42

      Well, next is Poland, so he can always denounce the Chamberlain government.

      • OzoneTom

        While praising Lord Haw-Haw.

  • gullywompr

    The English have no record to stand on, so they resort to false attacks on Romney in order to distract American voters.

    • rhumbles

      well at least he is not fat…yanks… usually you cant take em anywhere….they eat all the frickin pies the fat basteds

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Wait till he shows them his mad Etch-a-Sketch skills when he draws the Eiffel Tower, England's national eau de toilet. Then then can send him to Jupiter, where the boys are just so much stupider.

  • MissTaken

    England has a stiff upper lip and can take such idiocy.

    What's scaring me is what Mittens is going to say about Poland and Israel. I'm envisioning "something, something, big ovens good for cooking (for) a lot of people, something, Hitler had some good ideas, something, something". Yikes.

    • Baconzgood

      We need more Jews in Congress because you Jews are really good with money.

    • Schmannnity

      You think Poles can't take a good joke?

    • BornInATrailer

      "How many Poles does it take to change a lightbulb? I don't know because I fired my two stupid immigrant Polish maintenance workers. Hahaha!"

      He'll probably crack a joke along those lines.

    • Lazy Media

      My friends, I look over this sort of flat, open landscape, and I think, "Hey, this looks like good tank country." ::laughs:: Too soon?

    • GeorgiaBurning

      "I wasn't alive during the Holocaust, but I do own some German cars,"

      • Geminisunmars

        "I'm friends with people who make German cars."

    • MosesInvests

      Hey, Bibi! Ya know, I just baptized your father!

    • bikerlaureate

      I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

      • Thurman Munster IV

        Brilliant

    • Caelan Aegana

      "The Western Wall, see, it's really just standing there being useless. We should tear it down and build something there. That's what I did at Bain."

      • Boojum

        "We should tear it down and sell the pieces. That's what I did at Bain."

        FTFY.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        "That Dome of the Rock…I bet that would make a great foundation for a hundred story tall building housing a bacon factory. "

        Mitt Romney could end up doing what countless decades of diplomacy have not: unite Muslims and Jews.

        In their hatred of him…

    • Geminisunmars

      "I like firing ovens."

      • BornInATrailer

        "The smokestacks in western Poland are just the right height."

    • Terry

      Mitt plans to insult kielbassa and then crack a heeeelarious joke about the Poles trying to use horse mounted cavalry against tanks in World War II.

  • BloviateMe

    Do France next! Roast France, Mittens!

    • tessiee

      "Bonjour, ya cheese-eatin' surrender monkeys!"

    • BaldarTFlagass

      "Don't you people bathe? Ha ha, just kidding!"

    • BloviateMe

      Or he could go all Last of the Mohicans on them. "…the French haven't the nature for war. Their Gallic laziness combines with their Latinate voluptuousness with the result that they would rather eat and make love with their faces than fight."

      • BaldarTFlagass

        If you take savate into account, you could easily say that the French fight with their feet and fuck with their face.

        • prommie

          Do you know how many french soldiers died in WWI? We did not save their asses in WWI. They won that war by kicking the germans asses in a battle that cost them a million men. Fuck this franch bashing shit.

    • zumpie

      Just the horrible, flat high school French he speaks is insult enough to them! But I'm sure he'll dig himself in deeper by pointing out how snotty and arrogant they all are.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Not only are they snotty and arrogant but almost all of the French he tried to convert to his particular cult told him "Non, monsieur" and then raised their forearms in tribute.

      • vtxmcrider

        I love how his handlers say he is fluent in French. After what, 18 months there, his French is among the very worst I have ever heard from an English-speaking person.

  • Tequila Mockingbird

    Rmoney then added, "Also, our Beatles were better than their Rolling Stones."

  • poorgradstudent

    Like bringing up variants of "cheese-eating surrender monkeys" to spite the fact that France was home to one of the most celebrated resistance movements of the twentieth century, it seems crowing "We saved your asses during World War II!" to Britain is another sign that you have a jingoistic asshole on your hands.

    I'm not British, but damn minimizing the suffering and struggle the British people went through during World War II is just so assholish it makes me wish I was British so I could maximize my outrage. It's especially a dick comment given that it's from the guy who wants to applaud the contributions of a country that was protected from the German war machine (twice!) by an entire ocean.

    • bikerlaureate

      Otto: You know your problem? You don't like winners.
      Archie: Winners?
      Otto: Yeah. Winners.
      Archie: Winners, like North Vietnam?
      Otto: Shut up. We didn't lose Vietnam. It was a tie!
      Archie: [going into a cowboy-like drawl] I'm tellin' ya baby, they kicked your little ass there. Boy, they whooped yer hide REAL GOOD.

  • Baconzgood

    When's he going to say somthing about their teeth?

    • rhumbles

      just as soon he brings up the question of intl sanctions to combat the spread of (a) obesity index of yankie ass buttock or (b) overall pervailing ignorance to the level of a 12 year old or (c) perverted over consumption….at that point i think mitt should tactically deploy the dental comeback. that will show them

  • qwerty42

    It is a regular laff riot over at TPM. The British Press are having a field day.
    And, from Sullivan:

    There is a fantastic, hilarious, thigh-slapping irony in Mitt Romney's foreign tour. It's supposed to be about reaffirming America's traditional relationships with the traditional allies. It was going to be a meeting of conservative minds between Cameron and Romney. It was going to revive the old aura of the Atlantic alliance – the moment when the Queen's band played the Star Spangled Banner after 9/11 and the US out-pouring of support on 7/7. And, of course, it has turned into a riotously public demonstration of the complete opposite.

    • Nostrildamus

      Wonderful tidbit in there is that Sheldon Adelson will be traveling to Israel at the same time as Mitt, and "may be present at a dinner between the candidate and the Israeli prime minister". Press is going the love that – "Sheldon and his pet candidate".

    • schvitzatura

      Basil had a concussion; what is Mitt's excuse?

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfl6Lu3xQW0

      • Geminisunmars

        That's some impressive goose-stepping, there!

      • rhumbles

        At least he knows how to make a waldorf salad…unlike that those frickin limies in their small cars travelling on small back roads like the m4/m5 down to Torquay….hahaha
        http://www.slate.com/blogs/moneybox/2012/07/26/mi

  • IncenseDebate

    He takes the gold for competitive douchebaggery.

    • rickmaci

      Gold, Bronze and Silver.

    • BornInATrailer

      Like dressage or luge, it's a rich people sport.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Is that that sport where you have to shoot your mouth off while skiing through a revolving door?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Hey England, if you have English Civil War re-enactors over there like we have American Civil War re-enactors over here, they're more than welcome to pretend Mitt is King Charles I, and it's 1649. We won't care, honest.

  • Schmannnity

    Has he made fun of their cheap raincoats yet?

    • schvitzatura

      There is no fog in London, silly geese!

    • Terry

      Or their terrible pizza?

      • viennawoods13

        Dear Lord. 33 years ago I was there and I still remember the truly atrocious "pizza"

  • SmutBoffin

    Why not finish strong by insulting the Beatles and Shakespeare, too, Mitt?

    • Baconzgood

      Churchill too. Those gits love when you trash Churchill.

      • SmutBoffin

        Mitt probably thinks that Polonius is an astute politician.

        • va_real

          He thinks Polonius is the reason he hires taste testers.

      • sullivanst

        Although if you trash him for being a white supremacist colonialist asshole, I'll be cheering along.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      The took our jerbs!

  • sullivanst

    Special Relationship means never having to say you're sorry.

    Oh wait no, that's "Being a total and utter asshole robot sociopath". My bad.

  • mavenmaven

    Romney is being such a moneyed twit that he might find himself a member of the House of Lords.

    • rickmaci

      He is such an enormous fucktard, I don't think the Lords would have him either.

    • Barrelhse

      He wants to BUY the House of Lords and put in a car-lift.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Even Dubya is probably thinking "Mitt, you're never gonna be able to drag David Cameron into a pointless and shameful war against a non-aggressive country if you don't butter 'em up a little first."

  • BornInATrailer

    With the brouhaha over the chips sold at the Olympic venues, I hope he just happens to stop and eat McDonald's fries in an ill-fated attempt to be "one of the people." It would be awesome.

  • SorosBot

    That's the country that gave us Monty Python and Doctor Who he's insulting; both are much more useful than anything Bain Capital ever did.

    • Thurman Munster IV

      Benny Hill also, too.

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    what a spotted dick

    • emmelemm

      Should probably have a doctor look at that.

  • SorosBot

    Maybe Mitt's jealous that London gets to host a real Olympics, not just those pathetic winter sports like Mormon-land.

    • MissTaken

      What is the least bit pathetic about geriatrics curling?

      • SorosBot

        And it's still more exciting than dressage.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      In the middle of nowhere, no less.

    • Veritas78

      As Cameron acidly pointed out today.

      If you can't handle diplomacy with the Brits over the Olympics, it's unlikely you can handle anything harder.

  • johnnymeatworth

    "Hey, they light faggots on fire here! I LOVE this place!"

    • http://www.acepilots.com/wwi/can_bishop.html WABishop

      To be fair, they also spend an inordinate amount of time sucking on fags.

  • tessiee

    I hereby upfist Rebecca (in theory and/or in absentia) for her use of the term "whinging".

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Except it's spelled "whingeing" in England

      • va_real

        Stop yer whinging, you git…

      • eggsacklywright

        According to the OED, with or without the "e". Both are correct.

    • prommie

      So when I accused her of whinging yesterday, that didn't count?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    The sun never sets on Mitt's vapidity.

  • Eve8Apples

    Hey Mittens, your travel agent called. Don't forget to visit Churchill's grave so you can piss on it before you leave that useless trailer park of an island.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Mitt of Doucheingland, First Earl of Garglesnotte, Keeper of the Blue Flame of the Colon, and Lord High Protector of the Uptrodden.

  • CrunchyKnee

    Romney was overheard saying, "that is not football, my friend."

  • SmutBoffin

    The Romney charm offensive ground to a halt yesterday after it became apparent that he had gone into battle completely unarmed…

    • schvitzatura

      Willard got "Agincourt"ed.

  • rickmaci

    Seriously, it gets better by the minute. Bwhahahahhahha.
    "But it got worse for Romney who, when attempting to U-turn on his comments, caused amusement when said he'd spent a great day in the "backside" of Downing Street – rather than the back garden." http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/07/26/romney

    • anniegetyerfun

      Ack, software glitch!

    • SayItWithWookies

      "I haven't had such a great day on a backside since before Ann got MS — hahahaha."

      • e_z

        How long until he complements some guy on his pants and get right good smackin'.? Being an American excepotionalist (i.e stupid) it is below his stature to understand pants = underwear in Brit talk.

        • rickmaci

          You have to understand that how one refers to one's underwear is kind of a sensitive topic for a Mormon.

    • OneYieldRegular

      …and then caused further embarrassment by offering Cameron a "Romney 2012 Fanny Pack."

  • Nostrildamus

    London mayor Boris Johnson disses Romney by name in his address welcoming the Olympic torch to London. See 0:50 of this BBC video.

    • savethispatient

      Oh Boris! "The geiger-counter of Olympi-mania is going to go zoink off the scale."

      That's not a phrase I imagine Mayor Bloomberg would say. At least not without "who wrote this shit?" afterwards…

      • sullivanst

        There's no US equivalent of Have I Got News For You, but even if there were I can't exactly picture Mike being a repeat guest.

        Bloomberg might have a grumble about Boris halfinching NY's self-designated title (Greatest City in the World), though.

    • rickmaci

      He is intent on showing how much better he is than BarryO. He's not even president and already he has us in wars with China, Iran and now the UK. Not bad for a draft dodger.

      • Terry

        A conscientious objector who doesn't object to sending other people into war. Funny that.

    • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

      Heh. Also, I noticed that the volume control on the BBC video player goes to 11. Nice touch

    • schvitzatura

      I'd pay good £ to see Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley jointly knee Mitt in the fuzzy warbles.

      • BornInATrailer

        If 'e's got any yarbles.

  • prommie

    My God, he is actually incapable of ever saying anything that doesn't completely contradict what he has said in the past! He is truly The Worst Candidate Ever!

    • va_real

      Or the best, if you have a 5-minute-or-less attention span.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Not compared to Newt, Rick, Michele and Ron Paul he isn't.

      • Nothingisamiss

        No one remembers the Herminator?

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          Who?

  • Lazy Media

    Wonder what Ann Richards would say about Our Mittwit?

    Born on third base and thinks he hit a triple? Check. Born with a silver foot in his mouth? Check.

    • docterry6973

      So sad that Molly Ivins is missing this. Is it too late to vote for Perry?

    • Geminisunmars

      And a silver spoon up his bloody arse.

  • Eve8Apples

    The picture at the top of this post — Is that a picture of Rafalca's stable at the La Jolla castle?

  • coolhandnuke

    Upon his first view of Big Ben, Mitt turned to his British host and informed him "that clock is off by eight hours."

    • Veritas78

      "I've got a team in Bangalore who can wind that clock for a fifth of your current costs—and they work on Guy Fawkes Day, too!"

  • gullywompr

    You know who else said England was too small of a country to defend themselves from the Nazis?

    • MosesInvests

      Prescott Bush?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Joseph Kennedy?

    • rickmaci

      Henry Ford?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      King Edward VIII?

    • trondant

      Adolf Bitler?

    • Geminisunmars

      Neville Chamberlain?

    • RadioBowels

      Charles Lindbergh?

    • phlox✔

      'Wally' Simpson?

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Sir Robin?

    • va_real
      • gullywompr

        Ain't war just… magical! Fun for the whole family!

  • smitallica

    But without England, how could Obama not understand what a privilege it is to be Anglo-Saxon?

  • tessiee

    "See, English people buy yachts like THIS…"

  • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

    Don't we have some kind of treaty with the UK that their citizens are allowed to throw rotten tomatoes at obscenely wealthy American tourists who insult them? I'm pretty sure we do. I think we should spread that rumor helpful information.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      I'm pretty sure I read that on the Internet somewhere.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    This is turning out be a World Comedy Tour that even George Carlin would envy.

  • UnholyMoses

    This is another — of many — example of the arrogance of Americans. So many here see success not in what type of person you are, but how much shit you have — money, cars, big-ass houses, boats, dressage horses, whatev.

    The rest of the world doesn't exactly see it that way.

    Maybe that's why they have better education systems, better health care, less violence, happier people, better diets, more vacation time …

  • Flat_Earther

    What can you expect. Romney did his Olympics from the "middle of nowhere".

    • Veritas78

      Practicing his diplomacy skills at a full gallop, he runs headlong into British sarcasm. From their right-wing Prime Minister. That's gotta hurt.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    You know what would have been the comedy icing on the fucking cake? If Sarah Palin had decided to visit England for the Olympics, too.

    • va_real

      Ssshhhhhhhh!!!!!

    • Flat_Earther

      Maybe Palin would take Christine O'Donnell.

    • Veritas78

      Isn't Bristol our entry in the Slut-Tossing competition?

  • tessiee

    Has Mitt snuck up behind the Queen and given her an impromptu shoulder rub yet?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTQY1Aw9zcs

    • widestanceromance

      Worse. He cold walked up to Her and polished the headlights. Bad circuits are a bitch.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Well the Cayman Islands are small too, but they have great banks!

    • SayItWithWookies

      Their vaults are just the right depth.

  • tessiee

    "Romney wrote, in his book, No Apology"

    Pardon the crudity, but: are you fucking shitting me? Really, that's the name of his actual book? Why not just call it, "I am an Entitled Rich Sociopath"?

    • IncenseDebate

      That's the subtitle

    • emmelemm

      Crudity is our stock in trade, darling.

      Also, your sentiments are right on.

  • Guppy

    England is just a small island.

    Scotland, on the other hand…

    Mittens apparently learned geography in South Carolina.

    • IncenseDebate

      And Wales, that's just a bunch of big fish.

      • va_real

        Wales is just mountains, rarebit (whatever that is) & consonants, amirite?

        • sullivanst

          rarebit (whatever that is)

          Grilled cheese, pretty much.

          BTW, the Welsh also sing, raise sheep, and play rugby. I think that covers everything.

          • viennawoods13

            Actually, it's more like melted cheese poured over toast, often with some beer added. mmmm

    • docterry6973

      And don't get him started on Wales. I think Romney is from the 'feed Jane Fonda to the wales' school of thought.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Can't wait for Mitt to get booed the first time he shows his smarmy face at the Olympic stadium.

  • metamarcisf

    Your move, Limey Lizzie.

  • ph7

    it doesn’t make things that people in the rest of the world want to buy

    Says the guy who earned billions making nothing – just buying companies, reducing their labor costs through firings and/or outsourcing, and reselling them to some sucker.

    • Veritas78

      Internets Win of the Year.

  • http://www.indiegogo.com/revive-vlad Doktor Zoom

    In a further insult to the Crown, a Royal Navy surgeon, Stephen Maturin, exclaimed that Romney has "debauched my sloth."

    • finallyhappy

      I loved that line!!

  • BlueStateLibel

    You all laugh now, but it won't be so funny when the Brits are burning down the White House again.

    • IncenseDebate

      I for one will welcome our new (old) overlords.

      • emmelemm

        Can't possibly be any worse.

    • SayItWithWookies

      If Mitt wins the election, they'll have to wait in line — fortunately, with their socialized healthcare they'll be used to that.

      • sullivanst

        Yeah, did I ever mention the time I had an appointment for a non-urgent sonogram at an NHS hospital, turned up 20 minutes early and was headed back home before my appointment time had rolled around?

        I've been to ERs twice for myself, once NHS, once US, the NHS saw me quicker. Have had to take the kids a few times over here too, also took longer than the NHS saw me, every time.

        • SayItWithWookies

          No that can't be, as all the right-wingers insist that English hospital corridors are filled with women giving birth, dying cancer patients and people holding their innards in because they can't get beds.

          • GunToting[Redacted]

            And denying food and water to someone who has just give birth, apparently.

          • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

            No sillies!
            That's Canada!

            I had a baby there, and they brought around Labatts. (For lactation.)

          • viennawoods13

            See, that's what you get with socialist medicine- crappy beer!

          • sullivanst

            Say that over a pint of "dog" in a Geordie pub… you might be thankful for that socialist medicine soon after.

          • viennawoods13

            Oh hell I'd never insult British beer. But Labatt's? Ugh.

    • Veritas78

      If he's in it, it will be: "Ann, have the servants call 911!"

  • anniegetyerfun

    "I’m not familiar precisely with exactly what I said, but I stand by what I said, whatever it was."

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Nobody in England wants to go to Mitten's party. Ticket prices are being slashed.
    http://order-order.com/2012/07/26/exclusive-romne

    • SorosBot

      Ha ha!

    • schvitzatura

      Crispy mini-funeral potato puffs and non-alcoholic green jello shooters?

      No thanks, Mitt, I'll be having a Carlsberg and a pasty for a quid or two…

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroomba

    Mitt's just jealous because he doesn't own England.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Romney will no doubt respond "I'm sorry if any of you Limey poofters were offended by my remarks."

  • Steverino247

    Never before have so many been so insulted by a man who released so few tax returns.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      It was not his finest hour.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    To paraphrase Walter Szobchak, "You're out of your element, Romney!"

    • gullywompr

      Shut the fuck up Romney.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Well, given how well this trip is going so far, if Mitt is elected, the State Department will probably invoke a travel ban on him and pull his passport.

  • Steverino247

    Mitt, if the British Isles were not isles but instead were a part of continental Europe with no natural defensive barrier like the English Channel, where do you suppose the Royal Navy's materiel would have been used instead? Oh, perhaps armored vehicles or more aircraft like the Spitfire and Hurricane? The logistical problems of having the BEF in France would not have existed so the entire British Army could have been deployed. No need for defenses against distractions like U-boats.

    A military strategist of Mitt Romney's caliber would have a difficult time beating my granddaughter in a game of Battleship. At least she giggles when she gets hits.

    • schvitzatura

      Mitt scuttles his election campaign at Scapa Flow…to join the Imperial German Fleet in ignominy.

      • Steverino247

        Hochseeflotte Libel!!!

  • IncenseDebate

    What really took the cake was him calling Paul McCartney Ringo.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Or saying his favorite Beatle was Eric Clapton.

      • OneYieldRegular

        Or attempting to sing.

  • Eve8Apples

    This is good news for George W. Bush. Many people will be holding upside down United States' flags at this year's Olympics.

  • CountryClubJihadi

    Has he asked if the crumpets came from 7-11 yet?

    • Thurman Munster IV

      It's 11-7 in England.

      • bobbert

        Oooh, crumpet.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Is that a photo of Sadam Insane's bedchamber – or the lobby of one of Donald Chump's hotels?

    (Yes, I did steal that joke from Louis Black. Why do you ask?)

  • rocktonsam

    "And whats up with the Brits and their teeth."

    "Somebody stop me"

    -Mitten$

  • Blueb4sinrise

    HAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    GREAT STUFF!!!!!

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroomba

      Why was it deleted?

      • Blueb4sinrise
        • Geminisunmars

          There are some brilliant twitterers in England. I liked the "We'll take Piers Morgan back if you'll take Mitt home."

          • SorosBot

            "There are some brilliant twitterers"

            I find that very hard to believe.

          • Geminisunmars

            You like "bright twits" better?

        • shelwood46

          A Brit pol has actually called him "worse than Sarah Palin"? hahahaha

  • AbandonHope

    Well, Mitt's not the first Auton to visit Great Britain, so at least they'll know how to defend themselves when his hands flip open and machine guns pop out.

    • BornInATrailer

      Well, he can't be a Cyberman because he certainly isn't fucking allergic to gold.

  • Terry

    “England is just a small island. Its roads and houses are small. With few exceptions, it doesn’t make things that people in the rest of the world want to buy. And if it hadn’t been separated from the continent by water, it almost certainly would have been lost to Hitler’s ambitions.”

    We are not amused!

    • Steverino247

      Well, they used to make most of the world's toys before somebody moved production to Hong Kong. They used to make Spitfires, a fighter so good the Germans wanted to fly them instead of their own fighters. They used to make sports cars so cool, James Bond drove them. They beat the Germans at their national sport twice (to steal a joke from Mrs. Thatcher).

      • bobbert

        Then again, there is Lucas Electric.

  • rickmaci

    "James Chapman (Mail) James Chapman (Mail) ‏@jameschappers

    Another verdict from one Romney meeting: 'Apparently devoid of charm, warmth, humour or sincerity' #romneyshambles…"

    Mitt hits the fan, they are saying.

  • Eve8Apples

    I hope he has a chance to meet the Queen so he can slap her ass and call her Liz.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      That's sounds more like a George W Bush-type move.

      • Veritas78

        Mitt would offer to buy Buckingham Palace as teardown/rebuild.

        "No central air? No elevators? What century was this heap built in! Heh, heh!"

  • Generation[redacted]

    Wot's all this, then? Will Colonel Noseworthy be accompanying us to the haberdashery?

  • valdemar

    How dare Romney say we do nothing useful in England? I design car elevators, my wife teaches horses to dance, and our two lovely children – William and Kate – model strange cult underwear.

  • Barrelhse

    Interesting to find "hapless" used in a context other than "the hapless Cubs."

  • Cicada

    Wow, who knew Mitt was an asshole and an arsehole.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid

    Now wait just a gold-plated minute!! I smell Lie-beral hypocrisy!! You're doin' what Mittens did to Nobama!! Keep on tunneling back through the link attributions to here, for the full quote: http://blog.foreignpolicy.com/posts/2012/07/26/ro

    England [sic] is just a small island. Its roads and houses are small. With few exceptions, it doesn't make things that people in the rest of the world want to buy. And if it hadn't been separated from the continent by water, it almost certainly would have been lost to Hitler's ambitions. Yet only two lifetimes ago, Britain ruled the largest and wealthiest empire in the history of humankind. Britain controlled a quarter of the earth's land and a quarter of the earth's population.

    He's ACTUALLY saying that his Grand-Daddy was a Mexican the last time England mattered! Oh wait, that's not really helping…

    • miss_grundy

      Here's the link to the stupid stuff that he has said so far:
      http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/us-news-blog/2012

      And to think there are people who have given his campaign millions already. Makes you wonder how stupid they are……

  • OldRedneck

    Willard makes Sarah Palin look like a genius!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • shelwood46

      A Brit pol has already been quoted as saying he's "worse than Palin". This is so great.

  • Barrelhse

    Mitt, how do you feel about Robin Hood?

    • Veritas78

      Isn't that the guy he pinned down and gave a haircut to?

    • CthuNHu

      You mean the community organizer who stole from the job creators and gave to the homeless?

      It's just so unfortunate that he felt he had to engage in class warfare instead of borrowing 20,000 acres from his father and building his own duchy.

  • rocktonsam

    imagine if Mittens drank

  • 12X34X

    The Douche of Err.

    • Puffperney

      WIN!

  • http://slackoftownnola.wordpress.com Comrade Wingtardd

    News from England: "Mittens Willard Romney, is dead"

  • coolhandnuke

    I would rate Mitt's foreign performance, so far, as truly exceptional.

  • GeorgiaBurning

    Less than two hours left for Thursday over there, GOP campaign staff has until dawn to convince Secret Service agents that cameras, pens and microphones are actually concealed lethal weapons that should be kept over 100 yards away from the candidate.

  • http://slackoftownnola.wordpress.com Comrade Wingtardd

    DO IT ENGLAND

  • phlox✔

    Mittens is the new Duke of Derp located in the hamlet of Dildoshire.

  • Geminisunmars

    You know — I many change who I plan to vote for. We need a President again that the whole world can have a good laugh at.

  • ibwilliamsi

    I'd tell him to stay there, but I'm pretty sure they'd deport him as an "undesirable".

  • owhatever

    See how a real CEO gets it done? Mitt cut right through the bullshit to got the Brits to hate him in record time. Time is money, people.

  • Nostrildamus

    These Brits are not real Americans.

  • elfgoldsackring

    Apparently Mittens left the welcome dinner in tears after he overheard what the Dowager Duchess said about him.

  • randomsausage

    Mitt is a fucking political genius: he's made complete tools (who BTW hate each other) – David Cameron and Boris Johnson – look good on the same day. This has been beyond the grasp of Tory spinmeisters for a good decade or so.

    • bikerlaureate

      There's a fine line between genius and stupidity ?

      STEPHEN DORFMAN ‏@21law

      RT @JasonFebery According to friends in Gloucestershire, Brits are already starting to call Mitt Romney "the American Borat" #RomneyShambles

      • randomsausage

        Mitt's stupidity goes up to 11

    • rocktonsam

      here, here

    • va_real

      Wouldn't it be awesome if they invited him to stay there- permanently!?

  • rickmaci

    Shit. I guess we are all Ugly Americans today. Thanks for nothing Twitt.

  • BarryWDC

    So, don't forget, Wonketeers–England's roads and houses are very small, but according to Mitt, Michigan's trees are just the right height. What a DUMBASS.

  • MonkeyMotion

    Once I thought the GOP couldn't fine a bigger idiot than Reagan.
    Then they found W, and I thought it again.
    And then they found McCain/ Palin, and once again I was sure.
    Now every time Mittens opens his dumbass piehole…

    Apologies everyone — I think I'm inadvertently destroying the planet.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Who Invited Him?

    – Daily Mail Online headline

  • Dudleydidwrong

    Romney: "You know it's hard to know just how well it will turn out. There are a few things that were disconcerting. The stories about the private security firm not having enough people, the supposed strike of the immigration and customs officials, that obviously is not something which is encouraging."

    All he's worried about is protection for his wife's horse. The rest of the Olympics can be guarded by garden gnomes for all he cares. Romney: horse's ass.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid

    At this point, they might as well just play that flute-y '60s farce theme music from "Austin Powers" behind him wherever he goes.

  • TribecaMike

    I'm sure the Brits were delighted to be informed that it was their geological positioning and not their people who kicked the Axis' arse. What's 450,900 dead in the epochal scheme of things anyway?

  • Tundra Grifter

    This will teach England to keep out Michael The Silly Savage and let (r)Money in.

  • Limeylizzie

    This Jolly Olde English person thinks he is the biggest, doziest cunt to run for President since Reagan.

    • MosesInvests

      Bigger and dozier than Dubya?

  • Attila_T_Hun

    If you "tweet", look for #romneyshambles #americanborat, and #mitthitsthefan.
    His Anglo-Saxon bluntness is generating a cornucopia of jibes and jabs.

  • LibertyLover

    Great. Now Mitt Romney is a transcontinental douche.

  • mosjef

    It's OK. Romnuts thinks he's in Australia.

  • DahBoner

    You call this an 'Olympics'???

    Back when I was young, we had a Motherfucking™ Olympics that included Poetry!!!!! *

    *= Quietly dropped from Olympics in 1952

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    Already graced by the nickname of "Mitt the Twit" in England

  • ttommyunger

    It can't be an easy task to travel to the birthplace of Twits and out-Twit them, but Romney pulled it off.