Well done, fellow!Oh Mitt Romney, please stop making us feel sorry for you. You go to Yurp so you can be a Celebrity Rock Star like Obama was in 2008, and “project leadership,” and everywhere you go, you make people hate you. What jerk thing came out of your mouth this time? Oh, just that London was probably going to do a crap job with its Olympics, is all.

“Do they come together and celebrate the Olympic moment? That’s something which we only find out once the Games actually begin,” [Romney] said.

“It’s hard to know just how well it will turn out. There are a few things that were disconcerting.

“The stories about the private security firm not having enough people, the supposed strike of the immigration and Customs officials – that obviously is not something which is encouraging.”

The remarks were greeted with anger, with many British supporters of the Games taking to Twitter to accuse Mr Romney of being graceless and rude.

This is how you win hearts and minds, people. Like that of some nobody, David Cameron:

Now Tory Prime Minister David Cameron has swiped back. Said Cameron: “We are holding an Olympic Games in one of the busiest, most active, bustling cities anywhere in the world. Of course it’s easier if you hold an Olympic Games in the middle of nowhere.”

Meow, David Cameron, you catty bitch! But don’t listen to David Cameron, as he is totally gay for Obama.

Instead let’s reflect on Mitt Romney’s totally great resume as being the savior of the Salt Lake City Olympic games — the games John McCain called a national disgrace:

We can’t wait to see what happens when Romney gets to Israel! And Poland. Don’t forget Poland!


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  • "So I just got here on your famed screendoor submarine, and man am i wet. amirite, Krakow?"

    • Tequila Mockingbird

      “It’s great to be here in Sydney. Say, what’s the difference between Australia and a glass of milk? After 200 years, milk will grow culture!”

    • "Wow! I finally made it to Israel! I need a shower, but it's a gas!"

    • guangho

      You guys got Kielbasa? Polish sausage!

  • docterry6973

    Romney has told those people all that they need to know.

    • fartknocker

      Romney has told thoseyou people all that you need to know.


    • SolitaireRose

      Wow…I had no idea Romney was now Baron Von Raschke.

  • LesBontemps

    You know who else didn't forget Poland?

    • SexySmurf

      The inventor of fire-proof matches?

    • BarackMyWorld

      The 99 Pollacks it takes to turn the house when changing a lightbulb?

    • va_real

      Lech Wałęsa?

    • Generation[redacted]

      The entire crew of the submarine with screen doors?

    • Baconzgood

      The guy that walked into the bar holding dog shit saying "look what I almost stepped in"?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      General Zhukov and the 1st Belorussian Front?

    • Nostrildamus
      • Tundra Grifter

        Demi Moore and Elizabeth Barkley?

      • redarmyzombie

        Josef Stalin?

    • TribecaMike

      Glenn Danzig?

    • bobbert

      Jan Lukasiewicz?

    • Tundra Grifter

      Pat Buchanan?

    • GlowneyHouse

      Gerald Ford?

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      I know!!! I know!!! This time, it's ACTUALLY Hitler, right?!?

    • rocktonsam

      I was going to say Polocks.

      i'm staying with polocks

  • ChernobylSoup

    The sun never sets on Romney's stupidity.

    • That gets to the heart of the matter. It's one thing to be an arrogant asshole, but you have to be exceptionally stupid to continually express your assholishness.

  • Barb_

    " But don’t listen to David Cameron, as he is totally gay for Obama."
    How gay? Would he like to lose a toe ring in him in something like that?

  • BarackMyWorld

    "I'm really surprised Mitt Romney was a dick to somebody," said no one, anywhere.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I love how he is distancing himself from his wife's horse competing in the Olympics. Saying something to the effect of "That is Ann's horse. I won't be watching the event."

    Okay, so Mitt Romney doesn't support the endeavors of his loving wife??????

    • GeorgiaBurning

      Looks like he's using the back end of the horse as his new campaign logo.

    • Thurman Munster IV

      Hey. Look at the two assholes on that horse!

    • viennawoods13

      Yeah. and says he doesn't even know when the event is. which just means he doesn't listen to his wife. Say… maybe he's a real man after all!

    • That's just weird.

    • Veritas78

      Well, not this wife. It's best not to play favorites.

    • redarmyzombie

      To be fair, we can only imagine what it must be like to live with that dried-up frigid cunt.

  • SayItWithWookies

    As an Innately Superior People, it's every American's right to say shitty things about the other countries we're visiting. I mean, what is it about American exceptionalism that these stupid, lazy socialist foreigners don't understand?

  • coolhandnuke

    Mitt's getting back at the Brits because they have better looking teeth than him.

    • widestanceromance

      Rafalca (or whatever that surrogate husband's name is) also has better looking teeth than Romney. Not to rub it in, but Obama has teeth like Jesus.

    • yellojkt

      You would think a guy that rich could afford a better orthodontist.

  • SorosBot

    He's just jealous that England's useless rich parasitic aristocrats get to have fancy titles and are treated like they're important for no reason.

    • MissTaken

      His Royal Highness Prince William Arthur Philip Louis, Duke of Cambridge, Earl of Strathearn, Baron Carrickfergus, Royal Knight Companion of the Most Noble Order of the Garter, Knight of the Most Ancient and Most Noble Order of the Thistle LIBEL!!!!!11

      • SorosBot


      • bobbert

        Well fucking done,

    • Tundra Grifter

      Not to mention "serving" in the House of Lords (England's Senate) without having to run for office! All they gotta do is show up.

  • OkieDokieDog

    My fantasy is that he straps a Royal Corgi onto his car roof and then Queen Betty gets all pissed off and screams, OFF WIT HIS HEAD!

    • Guppy

      The thing about being queen is that you don't have to scream.

      "Do be a dear and take him out back, would you?"

      • OkieDokieDog

        Oh sure, if she were pissed because someone insulted one of the lesser royals, but we're talking ROYAL CORGIS here.

        • Guppy

          Ah yes, she'd rather take the more personal approach.

          "Young man, could you please fetch me my service revolver?"

    • CthuNHu

      Brezhnev and Jaruzelski?

  • EatsBabyDingos

    He is such a chopper. My old Brit roomie Andy said a chopper is one who foolishly masurbates.

    • LesBontemps

      Hahaha, those Brits. There is no such thing as foolish masturbation.

      • EatsBabyDingos

        In front of the Queen, in the Man U section wearing Arsenal, anywhere near Lindsey Graham or Camila Bowles (have you ever seen them in the same room naked?)

        • LesBontemps

          (have you ever seen them in the same room naked?)

          Not until now, in my mind's eye, and now I need some kind of very sharp stick. Thanks a lot.

        • in the Man U section wearing Arsenal

          That's hardly foolish. We'd send pledges in to do that in my fraternity, I wager.

    • Baconzgood

      How does one foolishly masterbate? Is that like sticking your dick in a ketchup bottle?

      • BaldarTFlagass

        A man, an Electrolux, an ambulance.

        • Panama!

          • Veritas78

            This is why I read Wonkette!

      • Fairtackle

        That is quite possibly the best definition I have ever heard.

      • zippy_w_pinhead

        no, foolish would be a pencil sharpener

      • widestanceromance

        It's the fool what tries to take it back out, it is.

    • Tundra Grifter

      I'm watching "Kean Eddie" reruns. Isn't that also a "wanker?"

      Where's Limey Lizzie when we need her?

      Heck – where's Limey Lizzine anytime?

  • CrunchyKnee

    Poor Willard, even the 51st state doesn't like him. And to think, he'll probably be our next preznit due to racism, voter suppression and apathy.

  • BlueStateLibel

    WTF is wrong with this guy?! Can't he keep his big bully mouth shut for once?

    • MissTaken

      He didn't install that software update.

  • Generation[redacted]

    "Cameron just doesn't understand how our special Anglo-Saxon relationship is special."

  • freakishlywrong

    “I’m not sure about these cookies. They don’t look like you made them”

    • WunkRocker

      BISCUITS (no Miss Lyndsay, that wasn't about you)

  • PrimlyStable

    Obama is only the second black person Cameron has ever met.

    • TribecaMike

      C'mon, there had to have been at least one black porter at Oxford in the 80's.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Certainly. There are Stout Porters and Double Porters and Extra Porters, so why not black ones?

  • hagajim

    Good to see Mittens' pomposity comes through with our Anglo brethren as well. I guess maybe he can't relate to them because their not plutocrats, at least not most of them.

  • rickmaci

    He thinks we are ALL stupid ! Hopefully he will only be 49% correct.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    Graceless and rude – a wonderful expression of British understatement.

  • Mittens is way out of his foreign policy depth. Even the Swiss & Cayman Islands say you can bank on it.

    • Tundra Grifter

      (r)Money is probably going to slip over to the Isle of Man to visit his money.

      [Man is also the only island I know of with a softcore porn flag.]

  • freakishlywrong

    Rawmney. The Apology Tour, 2012.

  • Baconzgood

    he should save time offending the Jews and Poles in one step by going to Auschwitz and saying "man this looks like a really nice spa".

    (Too soon?)

    • mavenmaven

      Hey, Reagan already did pretty much that at Bitburg.

    • LesBontemps

      "You know, my family has a camp, too."

      • guangho

        "My friends also owned factories."

    • Tequila Mockingbird

      “You know, everything would work out in the Middle East if the Palestinians and the Israelis would just start acting like good Christians.”

      • bobbert

        “You know, everything would work out in the Middle East if the Palestinians and the Israelis would just start acting like good Christians Mormons.”

    • widestanceromance

      "My family has a camp, too, called Kikehead."

    • MikeHawkstrong

      "This camp was built by an individual without anybody else's help."

  • prommie

    Ole Mittens up there looks like he is about to pull on his fisting-glove and go to town on someone's butthole.

    • FakaktaSouth

      He sounds like he needs to get his head out of his own ass and stop making us look worse than we already do. (I bet he's always the pee-er in the great golden showers debate too) I hate this guy so hard.

  • MissTaken

    Mittens is just showing how much of a Real American® he is by going abroad and insulting the locals. In his next campaign ad he'll wear shorts and sandals with socks while taking pictures on every street corner of them furreners speakin' funny.

    • Tequila Mockingbird

      "DO?? YOU?? SPEAK?? ENGLISH!!!"

    • Tundra Grifter

      And asking "How much is that in real money?"

  • TribecaMike

    Newt Gingrich wants to know what any of this has to do with Belgian education policy in the Congo from 1945 to 1960.

  • IncenseDebate

    The word Romney is now British slang for dumbass.

    • FNMA

      No, "Mitt Romney" is going to replace "John Thomas," if the Brits still use that, my knowledge of British culture deriving from Monty Python. As in, "That bloke was a real Mitt Romney so I punched him in his bollocks."

  • bumfug

    Worst part was when he tried to put the Queen's corgi on top of the carriage.

  • RadioBowels

    Mitt didn't need anybody's help running his Olympics. Solely through his hard work, entrepreneurship and rugged individualism he carried out the greatest games since Berlin in '36. He even designed the centerpieces for the IOC banquet himself. But boy was Ann pissed when she found out that dressage was in the "summer" games. Mitt tried to assuage her anger by trying to eliminate the two man luge in "quiet rooms."

    • bobbert

      Ice dressage might be interesting.

    • bikerlaureate

      That would explain why all of the records were destroyed – he's just such a humble mandroid, gosh-darn-it.

  • mavenmaven

    "wow, you Polish people are nice, and not as dumb as in the jokes. On the other hand, no kit-kats"
    (the new york times added the one bright part of Romney's visit: “Also worth noting,” the e-mail read, “they both discussed their mutual love of Kit Kat bars.”)

    • va_real

      I wonder if Nestlé or Hershey's paid for that product placement?

    • Tundra Grifter

      The Kit Kat Klub sounds like one of those bars where the girls probably aren't really girls.

      • HistoriCat

        I would rather go to the Pink Pussycat.

        • Tundra Grifter

          Sally Bowles libel!

    • superdave

      Kit Kat bars?!? What the? It boggles the mind.

    • yellojkt

      Then they went to the Kit Kat Club to sing a cabaret set of "Money Makes The World Go Round."

  • Blueb4sinrise

    So who's going to light the torch in Olympic Stadium?

    • PrimlyStable

      Sarah Palin's un-nameable grandchild who we all love very much.

    • Tundra Grifter


  • BaldarTFlagass

    This is, like, the Griswold's English Vacation. Maybe he'll knock over Stonehenge while he's there.

  • Fairtackle

    "graceless and rude", but Merica so Exceptionally graceless and rude.

    • ph7

      That's the kind of American Exceptionalism everyone can get behind.

  • ph7

    Mitt could use a stiff drink.

    If Mitt left the campaign for a weeklong booze and bitches bender, he might just come back likeable.

  • freakishlywrong

    "Q. Why don't polish women use vibrators? A. It chips their teeth." *Hatelaugh*

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    Wow, Ol' Mittens really can't relate to the common people, can he? He carries on the proud legacy of both President Bushes.

    • MissTaken

      Has he vomited on the Prime Minister yet? I want to set my DVR for it.

      • SorosBot

        Or has he surprise-groped another country's president yet?

  • spends2much

    "It's really great to be in Israel! I just hope I'm back home riding my car elevator when the Apocalypse turns you Christ Haters into charcoal. Thanks for the funny hat, though!"

  • Hahaha! The 2002 Winter Olympics? You didn't build that!

    • BaldarTFlagass

      This comment should have way more than 4 upfists in 10 minutes.

    • Millennial Malaise

      Begging for federal handouts is really hard work!

  • TribecaMike

    Mitt's fillings are made from the Hope Diamond.

  • Including the British.

  • proudgrampa

    I believe it was Abraham Lincoln who said. "'Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt."

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Or, as W said: Silence better fool doubt speak to thought.

      • "As the sayin' goes: Is our words foolisher than our face? Then shut it."

        • AbandonHope

          That was awesome. You know it's a good W imitation when I heard his voice in my head simply by reading the quote. Bravo.

  • Blunderthing

    Well, the Brits are realizing he went over as a spokesperson for YAFA. (Yet Another Fucking American)

  • I see him making a statement in Israel along the lines of, "And I have my little beanie…"

    • bobbert

      I wonder what will be embroidered on his yarmulke.

      • anniegetyerfun


  • TribecaMike

    Who outside of BBC mysteries says "disconcerting"?

  • elgin_pelican

    Somebody forgot their power converter, forcing the mittbot to run on battery backup. He's on emergency backup douchebag mode.

  • "The remarks were greeted with anger, with many British supporters of the Games taking to Twitter to accuse Mr Romney of being graceless and rude."

    Must be why Twitter crashed harder than a Walnuts-piloted F-4 Phantom today.

    • WunkRocker

      I just guffawed. Guy Guffawkes!

  • OneYieldRegular

    If this is how well he handles diplomacy in Great Britain, his visit to Pakistan will probably worth be putting on pay-per-view.

    • Boojum

      No, you'll see the mushroom cloud from your window.

    • guangho

      "Pervez, is that Pakistani for pervert?"

    • Veritas78

      "Where I'm from, a Paki is a liquor store!"

      "Never been in one myself, of course. A liquor store, I mean. Although I've never been in a Paki, either! Heh!"

  • Goonemeritus

    Still he has killed less people than when he went to France as a young man.

    • va_real

      Give him a little time, please.

    • bobbert

      So far.

  • I think it's cool that he would take his, "Insults Across America Tour" abroad.

  • MissTaken

    Fanny pack, hehe.

  • It will be the political version of the Spinal Tap US Amercia Tour 82…

    "Hello, Warsaaaaawww!"
    "I can crank my doucebagginess to 11."

    And end in Israel where he's listed below the headlining puppet show on the marquee.

  • mavenmaven

    Fox news today: England is a bad country, we overthrew their tyranny, Mitt Romney was right to insult those bastards, he's not like that coddling Obama who bowed to their Queen and thus denigrated American exceptionalism.

  • His handlers need to teach him not to go off script EVER. Mitt Mouth may be Obama's not so secret weapon.

  • "I have listened to Mitt Romney's stump speech countless times. A standard refrain is to run down Europe – not a hard case to make at the moment – and that includes us." –Commentary in the Telegraph

    Maybe his European trip is going to be like his speech to the NAACP–primarily an opportunity to be seen telling the useless* layabouts that their free ride is over.

    I've said it before, but really: When he says shit like this, Mittens' TRUE audience is probably not the people in the room with him.

    *I was going to say "no-account," but at least in Switzerland, his accounts are well-loved…

  • docterry6973

    Mitt is going all-out to win them over. The conservative Daily Telegraph notes that he was unable to remember the name of opposition leader Ed Miliband, referring to him repeatedly as 'Mr. Leader'.

    The Telegraph also notes a passage from Romney's book 'No Apology' in which he offers is extra-special view or our extra-special allies:

    'England is just a small island. Its roads and houses are small. With few exceptions, it doesn't make things that people want to buy. And if it hadn't been separated from the continent by water, it almost certainly would have been lost to Hitler's ambitions.'

    They also note Romney's remark that he is impressed because he can see the Olympics 'from the backside' of 10 Downing Street. From the backside? I guess the Santorum fog was very light that day.

    Oh, and I am not making any of this up. Except the Santorum part.

    • Mittens Howell, III

      Oh, that was fun! I loved this aside:

      (“What sort of a daft name is Mitt, anyway? What’s it short for – Mitthew?”)

      Fuck yeah!!

    • But Mitt and Miliband should get along famously, since they are both robots!!

    • Boojum

      England is just not the right height.

      Does anyone else think Mitt may be just a tad on the autistic spectrum?

      • I don't even think he's an excellent driver.

    • shelwood46

      Awesome. Love that Mitt can't sell all the tickets to his fundraiser (maybe because Barclays has been ordered to stop stumping for him, per the sidebar?).

  • The mere thought that there might be enough frothing redneck idiot wingnuts to make this guy our next president is making me too sick to work.

    That's a legitimate excuse, right?

    • freakishlywrong

      Yeppers! I just used it!

  • TribecaMike

    Somewhere in hell, Oliver Cromwell is thinking "I like this guy."

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Coincidentally, 'Graceless' and 'Rude' are two exclusive and lesser known Cayman Islands.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Romney's heading to Poland? Oh, he'll love it there, the sausages are just the right height.

  • ph7

    The full text of Mitt's comment:

    I shall insult them in France, I shall insult them on the seas and oceans, I shall insult with growing confidence and growing strength, I shall insult their island, whatever the cost may be. I shall insult them on the beaches, I shall insult on the landing grounds, I shall insult in the fields and in the streets, I shall insult in the hills; I shall never cease insulting.

  • Nostrildamus

    Mitt just needs to bring along some musical backup to win those Limeys over.

    • Needs moar queefing. Oh Ann, Ann, if you would join in here.

    • TribecaMike

      That dude needs to get in a studio with Rick Rubin and record a cover of "LSD Made A Wreck of Me," though I doubt it would surpass Rudi Protrudi's version…

  • va_real

    Snark off- IF Mitt is indeed a devout Mormon, he is just lapping all this up. The Book of Mormon is chock-full of references to the persecution of the righteous, and I'm sure that the more people he alienates, the more self-righteously persecuted he feels.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    There he goes putting the ugly in American.

  • Tundra Grifter

    I think it's time we start The Great (r)Money Gaff Pool. I've got ten bucks sez he really puts his foot into it no later than September 15, 2012.

    The Intrade spread on a November win for Mr. Obama is almost twenty points. That's the best news since yesterday, when Ole Newt predicted an (r)Money victory.

  • MacRaith

    The Mitt-bot's ongoing software problems simply demonstrate an old adage in the field of AI: It's extremely hard to program an artificial intelligence, but quite easy to program an artificial idiot.

  • widestanceromance

    Between Willard's European Vacation, and Chick-Fil-A's public ass-kicking, I am almost happy this week.

    Of course, the worse he does in "Europe," the better his base will think of him, and at this point, it is not his base he needs. What's the old bit, Ds fall in love with their candidates, Rs fall in line with theirs. They will eat his dingleberries on crackers as long as he is not Obama.

    • emmelemm

      Dingleberries on crackers – breakfast of champions.

  • TribecaMike

    This was an awkward way to change the heart of the British people, to say the least.

  • Lazy Media

    What can you expect from a wazzock?

    • Nostrildamus

      That article's a goldmine of charming Anglicisms, to wit:

      "I couldn't give a monkeys about the Olympics."

  • He's trying to get that all important 5th century English/Germanic tribe vote.

  • Guppy

    Do they come together and celebrate the Olympic moment?

    Corporate sponsors of the Olympics™©® "Games" are people too, my friend.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Sorry to do this again, guys, but Wonkville is back to not letting me submit links:

    So, that is the WORST fucking pun that NPR has ever done, but the article is worthy of a read because:

    Pakistan manufactures bagpipes. Seriously.
    They also manufacture Civil War re-enactment costumes. So proud Southern Murkins spend their hard-earned money on clothing made in Pakistan so that they can act out the War of Northern Aggression.

    • emmelemm

      You weren't kidding. Worst. Headline. Ever.

    • schvitzatura

      If they can crank out AK-47s in Darra, I'm sure an order for some Springfield Model 1842 smoothbore musket repros could probably be done.

      So some fat slob dressed in a cheeto-stained Pakistani-made frock coat can play Army of Northern Virginia.

  • yellojkt

    I have to disagree with Cameron's description of Salt Lake City. Once you hit the middle of nowhere, it's still a three hour drive to SLC.

  • Jennyjen798

    May Romney receive a disco polo welcome. I'd say without the scantily clad women but I'd like to see his reaction honestly.

  • Baba_NinjaCat12

    The British people doesn't trust Mitt anyways since he is an Auton, controlled by the Nestene Consciousness.

  • TribecaMike

    Somewhere in hell, Benny Netanyahu is already regretting allowing Mitt into Israel.

  • BZ1

    A news commentator asked people on the street what they thought of Mitten's bon mot, they had no idea who he was!

  • viennawoods13

    You know, I just finally connected the dots. Of course, Mitt Rmoney ran the 2002 Olympics, where the Canadians whupped US butt in hockey, men and women, and someone had managed to bury a loonie (1 dollar coin, to you yanks)at centre ice. (so much for "security", Mitt) So, we merry prankster Canucks managed to stick it to Mitt way back then. I feel better now.

  • schvitzatura

    Have the grievances about young, nubile English teens being spirited away to Momo Zion from green Albion, while the flower of British manhood was being blown apart in Flanders fields, been addressed on this trip?

    Inquiring minds want to know!

  • rickmaci

    So much for special.

  • OldRedneck

    Willard makes Sarah Palin look like a genius!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • TribecaMike

    A total Mittastrophe, and he hasn't even encountered Zombie Oliver Reed yet.

  • Biff

    So Rmoney is an Olympic Village community organizer, I see…

  • DahBoner

    He forgot about Poland!!!

  • ttommyunger

    Hoping for an audience with the Queen. You know he'd try to give her a little neck massage , amirite?

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