Hey chicks, put away your AKs and your ammo belts, the War on Women has been called off. The GOP loves you now! It cares about you! It appreciates you, even! And the way we know this is because a lady died after she had an abortion — she hemorrhaged, that is so sad for her family — and now the GOP is here to protect you from being murdered by Planned Parenthood!
From — where else? Fox News:
Twenty-four-year old Tonya Reaves died Friday of hemorrhaging following the abortion, according to the Cook County Medical Examiner’s office. Her death has been ruled an accident.
While Planned Parenthood afterward issued a statement expressing condolences to the family, the abortion provider’s most vocal critics in Washington swiftly began calling for a closer look into the group’s safety guidelines and financial practices.
Rep. Cliff Stearns, R-Fla., who launched a probe into Planned Parenthood earlier this year, is now calling for a public hearing on Capitol Hill.
“I would like to put them under oath,” he told Fox News. “I would like to find out how they spend our half a billion dollars, and I would also like to explore some of the safety aspects, particularly in light of this death, of this tragedy
We forget, what is it called when someone jumps on top of something tragic that happened, and makes a big stink about it for political purposes? It is right on the tip of our tongues.
In other women’s health news, Barack Obama proved once again he does not care about ladies’ health by saying he supports their right to make their own medical decisions, and said “I” and “me” and “my” again a whole bunch of times, so you know he is an asshole.
“Mr. Romney wants to get rid of funding for Planned Parenthood. I think that’s a bad idea,” Obama said to about 950 donors at the Oregon Convention Center as he highlighted differences with Mitt Romney. “I’ve got two daughters. I want them to control their own health care choices.”
We are disgusted and flabbergasted that a man would let his daughters use birth control like common whores once they are grown ladies, instead of guarding them with a shotgun and taking them to one of those not at all creepy “Purity Ball” things, as is proper and not gross.
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I've got the perfect birth control solution, right here! It's called an "aspirin" and you hold it between your knees. Amiright, ladies?
A regular aspirin is way too large for these tiny GOP pricks, substitute a low-dose aspirin for absolute safety.
Just make sure it's not "baby aspirin".
"It's all right, it's St. Joseph's." — George Carlin
"Baby aspirin?" Ahh. That explains a lot.
Actually, aspirin could make one hemorrhage (it is a potent inhibitor of platelets, which is why it prevents heart attacks, a significant side effect is bleeding).
When are the Republicans going to hold hearings on gun control because nutty fuckwads in Colorado walked into a theater and shot the holy shit out of everything…they're not? WTF!? Oh right – NRA pays them Rmoney.
How long before the GOP teams up with the plastics industry to outlaw wire coathangers?
"I'm Joan Crawford and I approve this message."
This is such a good line, I am hereby stealing it. thanks.
Nah, they'll just have the FDA pass a reg to put plastic handles on them, for safety to one's hand.
Now, I could possibly support that cause. I've ALWAYS hated wire hangers.
These GOP people are the same folks that would force a women to have a child of rape even if it meant endangering her life.
If I were a lady I'd be very concerned about their concern.
Trust me, I *am* very concerned…and terrified…
Who needs Planned Parenthood. She could have used a hanger and gotten the same result.
That would be fine with the GOP.
Mitt Romney wants to get rid of Planned Parenthood. His wife is a breast cancer survivor and you would think that he would be extra sensitive to the plight of women who are in dire need of breast cancer screenings.
Why? His wifey has all the money she needs to get hers done.
And all of his friends' wives, too.
Oh, Barb — there you go, thinking that he thinks.
She also has MS. MS and Parkinson sufferers are two of the most likely beneficiaries to stem cell research. Romney is against stem cell research because it 'kills human beings'.
Uh, you lost me at "extra sensitive." Toughlove is where it's at – strap those abortionists to the roof of your sedan, that's the ticket.
"I would like to put them under oath,” he told Fox News. “I would like to find out how they spend our half a billion dollars, and I would also like to explore some of the safety aspects, particularly in light of this death, of this tragedy ."
General Accounting Office. Have you heard of it, dickhead?
"I would like to put them under oath”
Women, particularly lesbians, will always lie if you don't.
They'll lie if you do, too. So no point in asking 'em anything.
If they're going to lie anyway, you might as well lie with 'em.
One death (OK two counting the zygote) all year, let's blow up the whole program. One jerk murders twelve innocents in a theater in about five or ten minute's time and that's not our concern.
Nothing to see here, move along.
I know, let's have a Fetus Free Monday.
Wasn't "Purity Ball" Brisdull's nickname is high school?
You're thinking of "Party Ball."
Do not taunt Super Fun Party Ball!
"I thought, I should wear a condom, but figured, when's her ma going to be nominated to vice president?"
– Levi Johnston for Bad Idea Blue Jeans
Well of course the Republicans have a problem with this; I mean just one woman dead from a botched abortion is way too few for them, they want thousands of women to die from back-alley abortions every year.
Oh, I get it. The victim was a white girl.
12 people are brutally murdered = DON'T talk about gun control
1 women tragically dies from a constitutionally protected medical procedure = END Planned Parenthood ASAP, MUST have Congressional Hearings TODAY!
Two totally reasonable responses to these tragedies.
Reasonable-ness has a librul bias, Miss.
So that means they're going to go after the practitioners responsible for the 200,000 deaths caused by medical errors every year in the U.S.?
Excellent. When are they going to start?
This is probably all Eric Holder's fault.
Someone died? SHOCKING!!1!
Iraq and Afghanistan much?
Where was Rep Stearns' concern when they gave Michele Bachmann the lobotomy?
In fairness, she wasn't much affected by it.
In the next bed having his done.
Shhhh…don't tell GOP how many people die after plastic surgery or Botox treatments.
As many as a hundred thousand Americans die every year from medical screw ups.
180 people a year from complications from cosmetic surgery alone.
Hundreds die every year getting their friggin wisdom teeth removed.
Shit happens.
JFC.
But we need tort reform so the victims can't get compensation for the malpractice, because that's unAmerican!
Tort reform would mean lower health care costs. Which would mean more people getting health care. Which would mean more malpractice deaths.
It's a regular virtuous circle.
As someone who has sexytime with a male hospital nurse on a fairly regular basis, I cannot thumb up this comment enough.
I wonder how many women die in labor or from pregnancy complications. I wonder if it is MORE than one, or LESS than one.
The GOPers are all for it till the family sues then it'll be back to a war on lawsuits.
For a bunch of simpletons their world view is all Rube Goldberg-esque.
"Rube Goldberg"
*narrows eyes suspiciously*
that there name sounds like one'a'them un-Christian folks.
Yes, you fucktwads. We can base our whole national health care policy on one anecdotal, tragic case. Wingtard science if you will. Just ignore the fact that half of all conceptions fail naturally and a large percentage of those spontaneous miscarriages are prone to hemorrhage. Not to mention the risk of carrying a child to term, wherein we have one of the worst infant mortality rates in the world despite paying 3-4 times what every other reasonable country pays.
Would someone just call these clowns out on this one? Please?
Would someone just call these clowns out on this one? Please?
Nope. Not going to happen.
Over a hundred baby boys a year die from complications from circumcision. But you can rest assured no one in the lamestream media will put this grandstanding jackass's outrage into any kind of meaningful perspective.
We forget, what is it called when someone jumps on top of something tragic that happened, and makes a big stink about it for political purposes?
An Asshole?
more women die from trying to poop out a full-grown baby than die from trying to scrape out a microscopic one.
As long as they die, the GOP is OK with it.
If they only had anal sex more often, pooping out a baby would be easier…
Viagra has never contributed to thousands of deaths.
freedom
Yeah, but they all died with their hards-on. Can I get a rim-shot here? I'll be here all week.
They were all a couple o' stiffs, HEY-O!!
Somehow their concern was lacking over murdered abortion providers.
Love the fetus hate the child.
"I would like to put GOP House members under oath. I would like to find out how they spend their time around Congressional pages, and I would also like to explore some of the safety issues, particularly in light of a GOP Congressman's fondling of a Congressional page."
Ask Bachmann if she still beats her wife. It's just a question we'd like investigated.
Guessing that there's details that we will not know .
How acting this quickly for guns?
This isn't whinging at all, this is appropriate righteous anger, Becky. Sorry about the kidding and stuff, I am just bitter and sad cause I am not a high-flying glamorous superstar blog editor. Really. Now come have a party here where I am at, please!
Seconded.
A tragic thing.But a woman's right to choose must not be infringed upon,At least she had that right.One the GOP would take from all women even in cases of rape,or incest,Birth control,and doctors advice.
So, to sum up, the GOP Jobs Plan consists entirely of this: hold public hearing on Planned Parenthood.
Well, that, and picking on gay people.
I just don't understand why, oh why we don't use the technology available to us to bring this pesky slut/abortion/war-on-women/bagina thing to a screeching halt. Granted, the screeching might be from men, but I'd say it's their turn.
We had a little boy die here in Utah when an old tombstone fell on him. Where's the committee to look at dangerous tombstones, eh?
Was he a little zombie boy rising out of his grave, and was he killed (again) when his own tombstone fell on him?
“I would like to put them under oath,” he told Fox News. “I would like to find out how they spend our half a billion dollars, and I would also like to explore some of the safety aspects, particularly in light of this death, of this tragedy
None of it is spent on abortions (have you ever heard of the Hyde Amendment?), so fuck off, dickwad.
Let's do death by abortion the old fashioned way. Defund Planned Parenthood and have every woman die from a back alley abortion, just as god intended.
Oh god, Purity Balls.
I know a gal who when she was around 15, her father took her on a trip, put a purity ring on her finger by a lake, at the camp they had gone to just the two of them, like a retreat, and he told her he loved her and she promised not to fuck anybody – why? Why is this weird to you guys? You don't think it's super normal to have your dad put a piece of jewelry on your body that acts like a force-field for your hoohah? Come on now. Jesus, Dad telling you not to like fucking, etc.
And that 15 year old grew up to be Bristol Palin.
And now you know the rest of the story.
By fifteen I think it was too late for Bristol. Todd needed to get to her in the womb.
God, the fundies are really fucking creepy.
Wonder if that gal whats missing from Mobile went to a purity ball?
From the local Fox affiliate: "A missing person report has been filed with the Mobile Police Department for 19-year-old Brittney Wood.
"Wood's family said, the last they heard, she was going to visit her uncle near the Styx river area."
The river Styx is not known for its purity, y'all.
Fulla wood?
Only sluts like fucking. Sluts, and manly virile men.
"I know a gal who when she was around 15, her father took her on a trip, put a purity ring on her finger by a lake, at the camp they had gone to just the two of them, like a retreat, and he told her he loved her and she promised not to fuck anybody – why?"
Ohhhh, I think we all KNOW why.
*shudders*
You guys, it's a bit OT, but can we get a round of applause for my father?
When my parents and I were planning our wedding, the band asked Dad and I if they wanted to play "Sunrise Sunset" or "Daddy's Little Girl" for the bride (me!) and her father to dance to.
Dad and I both simultaneously made the "gag me" gesture.
Ladies and gentlemen, my father.
Christ, my parents made me do both!
Too late, fuckers. Too fucking late.
By just acknowledging that bad things can happen during an abortion procedure, the GOP is treating women's fertility as an illness.
…because it worked out great for the Romans when their government got much more concerned about religious and moral matters than about their empire's own imminent collapse?
Talking about Roman history is making me think you're way smarter than me.so I suggest you go back to worrying about your college loans and quit making me feel inferior.
A little salt for that deep wound I just typed into your psyche: mine were paid off decades ago.
if our empire is collapsing, the wingnuts can distract the sheep from that by yelling about gay people and abortion.
If our empire is pulling back from the brink of collapse, the wingnuts can distract the sheep from the black guy's success by yelling about gay people and abortion.
It's a win win.
Rawmoney wants these dames to go back to using slippery elm twigs for their abortions like Gawd intended. Its in the Bible.
It's shit like this the GOP's weird fetish for guns that is causing The Mrs and I to very, incredibly, ridiculously seriously consider moving to Sweden.
We just can't take the stupid in this nation, and have no desire for our son to grow up surrounded by so much greed, violence, and hate.
Make sure you get a guest room – the rest of us may need to crash. Just until we find our own place, you understand.
Given how many times I've heard that already, we're going to have to set up one of those little "Take a Number" things.
It would help pay the inteckning.
(I need Google Translate installed in my brain, 'cause learning foreign languages =/= my strong suit.)
ADDING: And we're 100% serious about this. Making a chart with what we need, about how much it will cost, how much we think our stuff is worth, etc. Might need to set up on indiegogo, but we feel … well, guilty about doing that. We're
big kidsold farts, after all, and should be able to do this on our own. Might not have much choice, though …"The Mrs and I to seriously consider moving to Sweden."
Given your last name, I cannot help anticipating watching you part the Atlantic Ocean.
Hmmm … then we wouldn't have to sell 3/4ths of our stuff, store 1/8th with family, and ship the rest over.
I like the cut of your jib, young … kvinna!
Local news broadcasts (even Fox) can manage to find fire-of-the-day and shooting-of-the-day stories, but rarely find abortion-death-of-the-day to broadcast. I wonder why.
I stone-cold guarantee that Cliff Stearns did not call for any investigations when the maternal death rate during childbirth climbed during Bush's term.
I'd be quite surprised indeed if the rate of deaths resulting from the complications of abortions performed by Planned Parenthood anywhere near matched the rate of 13.3 deaths per 100,000 deliveries for 2006, the last year for which I can be bothered to find data.
Cliff Stearns: GO FUCK YOURSELF until you are pregnant, and carry that baby to term because I damn well said so!
Oh. I thought the Purity Ball was going to be a chastity belt attachment.
The purity ball gag?
I have a Purity Ball hanging from the trailer hitch of my F-150.
The Repubicans will sacrifice everything in the Constitution in the name of "safety". So our mail can be opened, library records sent to the FBI, detention without charges, torture, airline pat downs, TRAP laws … all to keep us safe from terrorists. Undoubtedly and eventually that will save a life somewhere, somehow. But when it comes to guns, they proudly sacrifice safety for "liberty". But guns are remarkably dangerous — several 9/11s of death and injury every year.
If freedom means we live riskier lives, then lets accept that in all respects: Guns, terrorism, abortion complications. But if saving lives trumps freedom, then guns need to be on the table.
/snark off/
Good point, and well put.
1. I am very sorry for this woman's family. 2. It is an extremely rare complication. 3. I really, really, really, hate these fucking GOP shit-eating, scum-sucking, sheep-screwing, dumbass, motherfucking assholes.
Very nicely put.
Well, I must say I'm surprised at the Republican reaction over this accidental death. Where's their normal outrage that she was using her cooter for obvs non baby-making related purposes, since she callously decided to rid herself of this blessed gift of cells from Jeebus? I think someone's priorities are a little screwed up…
"Business as usual."
I was going to say "Gohmerting", but yeah, you win.
Will they have a federal investigation of women who die in childbirth too? I hear that sometimes women hemorrhaging there too. As an aside, I hear that sometimes women bleed to death after being shot.
And sometimes pregnant women and their fetuses with their fingerprints and fingernails and whatever get shot too!
Sadly that is the number 1 cause of death amongst women with fetuses
So many women hemorrhaging and dying after giving birth to children but one woman hemorrhaging and dying after an abortion = OUTLAW ABORTION!@!!11!1212!!!!2
But one person going beserk and shooting up a theater = MORE GUNNZZZZZZZ!!! Don't you dare outlaw them!!!!
Ooooookay.
I'm so dizzy, my head is spinning…
Wingnut Logic = 1 dead Abortion lady, thousands of ladies dead from unable to afford or have access to preventative health care for their lady parts but at least abortion is outlawed through gimmicks.
Weird. FoxNews accidentally included this information in the report:
I'm sure someone will lose their job over that
I think the GOP should move to ban all surgeries after which anyone has ever died due to hemorrhaging.
Which would leave us with, what, liposuction and tonsilectomies?
Nope
Nope
This isn't going to affect the Abortionplex grand opening date, is it?
Hearings on automobiles in 3,2, … oh, forget it.
If only someone at the clinic had had a handgun, this probably wouldn't have happened, probably, huh?
Or semiautomatic.
And here I was thinking that ladeez were lining up for abortions because of the fun good times, and all of the sex having that comes as soon as you get home and try to get knocked up again. Now it turns out there's a down side for the whore who gets in trouble?
Well fuck all that because Planned Parenthood is now in a lot of trouble for killing fetuses (mothers are collateral damage).
I think a woman should only give birth if having an abortion would threaten her life.
Doing away with Planned Parenthood will protect women from dying from complications of abortions the exact same way that doing away with gun control laws will keep us all safe from handgun murders.
This conclusively proves that Planned Parenthood does nothing except go door to door, strap down women to a gurney, and force them to have abortions against their will.
Someone on fox saying it serves the whore right for trying to kill her preshus babby in
5…
4…
3…
The chicks have come home to roost.
Let's not overlook the fact that men benefit from Planned Parenthood, too. This is an ugly, hateful thing to say, but P.J. O'Rourke once wrote something to the effect of, "what could have been a lifetime of child support payments is now in the doctor's wastebasket" (believe it or not, I actually cleaned up his original statement a bit).
Besides the obvious conclusion that P.J. O'Rourke is a seriously fucked-up misogynist, it does at least raise the question of why the women who don't have baby after baby are villians for not having babies that NOBODY wants, any more than the people at animal shelters are villians for putting strays to "sleep". If it were possible to get rid of unwanted fetii by pushing a button, believe me, there would be a button in every house, Starbuck's, Walmart, and McDonald's in America. The very least you can say is that they're doing the men's dirty work for them.
Putting on a condom is hardly an Herculean labour.
Who IS the woman in that picture and will she take me hostage?
Let's have a look at statistics on how many people have died from various surgical procedures in the last year and ban all of them that come in over 1.
Gee, if only the abortion could have taken place in a hospital, where she could have gotten treatment… but NOOOOOOooooooo, the loony anti-choice people insist on segregating abortions into special clinics so they can picket them more easily. Shocking that in other countries, this is integrated into the healthcare system. Who wudda thunk.
'Course we have 20-30 gun deaths EVERY FUCKING DAY in America and what do we hear about that from the Right? CRICKETS.
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