9% APPROVAL RATING  10:51 am July 26, 2012

Congress Goes Nuts Over Somewhat Comical Typo

by Jim Newell

He is tangentially related to this storyThe House of Representatives wants to vote on a bill that would “prohibit major federal regulations until the unemployment rate falls to 6 percent,” meaning it wants to ban new regulations permanently. Unfortunately, the version that House Republicans entered yesterday said that “federal agencies would be barred from issuing new regulations until the labor secretary submits a report ‘that the Bureau of Labor Statistics average of monthly employment rates for any quarter beginning after the date of the enactment of this Act is equal to or less than 6.0 percent.’” Did the Democrats politely let House Republicans change this to unemployment? Only after screwing around with them for a while.

From The Hill:

Earlier in the day, Minority Whip Steny Hoyer (D-Md.) said he would not grant unanimous consent to add “un” to the word “employment” and thus fix the bill on the floor. And Wednesday afternoon, Rep. Gerry Connolly (D-Va.) indicated that Democrats were not willing yet to allow the quick fix.

House Oversight and Government Affairs Committee Chairman Darrell Issa (R-Calif.) asked Connolly if he would object to a unanimous consent request to make the correction. Issa cast the error as a mistake made by professional staff.

But in reply, Connolly said, “This member will reserve the right to object at the appropriate time.”

“Nothing could be more insincere than to pick on professional staff on a typographical error,” Issa shot back. “If we have to … go to the Rules Committee, I guess we will, but I’m really sorry to see that kind of an attitude on what the gentleman and all of us know was simply a typographical error.”

Connolly then took umbrage with Issa’s remark, and asked the presiding officer, “Did this member hear … the distinguished chairman of the Oversight and Government Reform Committee characterize a member as insincere?”

Ha ha, silly Darrell Issa is… right. But what is this dumb bill anyway?

UPDATE: A friendly tipster emails, “YOU FUCKING MORONS! THE \’CONGRESS GOES NUTS\’ POST IS OUTDATED == TURNS OUT THERE WAS A SECOND TYPO!” OKAY, Jesus Christ:

To fix that, the House Rules Committee approved a rule that, once passed by the House, would deem the bill to be corrected to say “unemployment.” But that rule incorrectly refers to the main rule for the bill as H.Res. 783, when it should have said H.Res. 738.

Rep. Virginia Foxx (R-N.C.) asked for unanimous consent to fix that numbering error, in order to proceed to the rule fixing the “unemployment” error. But she was met by Democrats who said the second error, while understandable, shows that Republicans are moving too quickly on legislation.

“I do think this is more than simply a double error,” Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.) said. “It’s a matter of haste.”

[WaPo, The Hill]

 

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{ 103 comments }

actor212 July 26, 2012 at 10:55 am

I for one wish unemployment would reach 94%, because by then we'd finally have the balls-to-the-walls, line-em-up-and-shoot-em (with votes) revolution we all say we want

gvvt July 26, 2012 at 12:02 pm

A vote for Romney would certainly be a positive step toward achieving this goal.

Billmatic July 26, 2012 at 12:08 pm

i dunno then i wouldn't be able to go to chick fil a

bureaucrap July 26, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Maybe — but there's at least a 50-50 chance (maybe better) that we would be the ones lined up against the wall, and "Onward, Christian Storm Troopers" (TM) would be the ones with the guns. Be careful what you wish for…

SorosBot July 26, 2012 at 10:57 am

Well this bill makes perfect sense, as preventing companies from fucking over their employees inhibits employment so much.

Seriously, what the fuck, Republicans?

MacRaith July 26, 2012 at 11:25 am

Well, what's the point of hiring people if you can't fuck them over? Would you hire somebody if you had to actually respect their "rights"?

The ideal employment solution, from the right-wing perspective, is for employers to be allowed to pay their employees nothing. Then they'd be able to hire everyone, and still make obscene profits. Being allowed to torture their employees is just an extra incentive.

Goonemeritus July 26, 2012 at 10:57 am

I doubt it was a typo I have all the faith in the world that Mitt can get American employment down under 6%.

elviouslyqueer July 26, 2012 at 10:58 am

Good to know that Congress is, as usual, fixating on things that really matter.

RedneckMuslin July 26, 2012 at 10:58 am

I guess Issa thinks the Republicans will retake the Senate and the presidency.

How else is unemployment supposed to reach 94%?

freakishlywrong July 26, 2012 at 10:58 am

I can't wait till all these bitches just cold start bitch slappin' each other. This is the only productive thing Republican house members are capable of.

gvvt July 26, 2012 at 12:05 pm

"In the rough-and-tumble Congress of the 1830s, 1840s and 1850s, politicians regularly wore weapons on the House and Senate floors, and sometimes used them."
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/12/opinion/12freem

Baconzgood July 26, 2012 at 10:59 am

I like seing the Dems pull the same kind of Mickey Mouse shit that the GOP always pulls. Now if the just starting calling Mitt a Kenyan….

hagajim July 26, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Or a PolygaMessican

Goonemeritus July 26, 2012 at 10:59 am

At 6% traditional employment the employer based healthcare system might be somewhat strained

actor212 July 26, 2012 at 11:00 am

Ooooh, David Cameron SMACKS Romney and hard!

Juice quote:

He went on: "We are holding an Olympic Games in one of the busiest, most active, bustling cities anywhere in the world. Of course it's easier if you hold an Olympic Games in the middle of nowhere."

That's gonna leave a mark!

Baconzgood July 26, 2012 at 11:03 am

He went on to say to Romney "Did you talk to Deez?" When Romney asked "Deez who?" Cameron replied "DEEZ NUTS!!!!!" and grabbed his batch.

actor212 July 26, 2012 at 11:10 am

I'm just curious if Obama will now have to visit England, Poland and Israel and apologize for Mitt Romney's visits

CapeClod July 26, 2012 at 11:11 am

Looks like Romney is doing his part to keep up the Special Relationship.

freakishlywrong July 26, 2012 at 11:11 am

Fuck all. It's like letting your crazy wingnut uncle embarrass you at a wedding.

rickmaci July 26, 2012 at 11:54 am

He should have said a freaking police state in the middle of nowhere.

Katydid July 26, 2012 at 11:59 am

In their private meeting, the candidate is understood to have told Mr Cameron that he had been inspired by what he had seen of the British public who had lined the route of the torch relay ahead of the opening ceremony tomorrow.

These goddamned "reporters," writing down what Mitt's spin team says and vomiting it back out.

fuflans July 26, 2012 at 12:04 pm

this is getting delicious-er by the moment

fuflans July 26, 2012 at 12:30 pm

so much for that suave sophisticated globe trotting business man image they want to project.

tool.

RadioBowels July 26, 2012 at 11:00 am

I say we reconvene The House Committee on Un-American Activities.

nounverb911 July 26, 2012 at 11:01 am

I would be happy with 94% of Congress being unemployed.

hagajim July 26, 2012 at 12:33 pm

That would about fit with its approval rating.

Goonemeritus July 26, 2012 at 11:01 am

So Congress would pass a law that prevents them from passing laws, now that’s innovation.

gvvt July 26, 2012 at 12:06 pm

and a good start

hagajim July 26, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Haven't they pretty much been doing that for the past four years?

e_z July 26, 2012 at 11:02 am

"When I use a word, Darrell Issa said in rather a scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less."

"The question is," said Connolly, "whether you can make words mean so many different things."

"The question is," said Issa, "which is to be master— that's all."

Screw it said ez.

nounverb911 July 26, 2012 at 11:03 am

And how doe Issa use the word "Felon"?

Generation[redacted] July 26, 2012 at 11:10 am

"I was walking down the street minding my own business, when this pile of stolen car radios felon top of me."

actor212 July 26, 2012 at 11:14 am

"The car door was open and I tripped and felon"

prommie July 26, 2012 at 11:53 am

Darrel Derrida?

prommie July 26, 2012 at 11:02 am

What in fucking tarnation is a-going on around here? A blog called "Wonkette" concerning itself with matters legislative, political, and policy-related?

But where are our TV show recaps? Where is the feminist victim-whinging that is the real reason we all come to Wonkette?

FakaktaSouth July 26, 2012 at 11:39 am

Shut up and let me ask you something – why are regulations job killers? You need extra people to do what? NOT make sure that people are using the proper safety equipment? Cause I am pretty sure OSHA hires people, I dealt with them in the 90s during the bad old days of lots of folks having jobs. I think they could say no more of any old word and it would mean the same nothing.

Also, what is whinging? Even if you are superior you shouldn't make up words.

prommie July 26, 2012 at 11:46 am

Websters defines "whinging" as "what goes on at Jezebel where every little thing is framed as an assault on women and/or feminism."

No shit, huh, regulations create jobs, hey, guess what my job is? Regulatory compliance consultant! Wow.

Not to mention that the vast majority of all regulations are lobbied for by the regulated businesses, who tend to have an incestuous relationship with the regulators (finance and the Fed, jesus christ thats some incest there) and the industry tends to use the regulations to inhibit competition. Oh and I do some regulatory lobbying, too. For a regulated industry, holy shit.

So "regulations kill jobs" is just another GOP shibboleth, fancy talk for total bullshit.

FakaktaSouth July 26, 2012 at 11:51 am

I always knew you were the problem.

prommie July 26, 2012 at 11:58 am

Not for long though.

prommie July 26, 2012 at 11:51 am

And BTW, regarding my alleged superiority (just because I am smart and fancy doesn't mean I am better than anyone) I did have to go look up "shibboleth" just to make sure I really did know what it meant, so I would not make a fool of my ownself.

FakaktaSouth July 26, 2012 at 11:59 am

I don't understand how this would be a word you could learn and think there could be alternate meanings, I learned this word today, looked it up and now I know. I don't know when I will be able to ever use the word in a sentence, but I like it. It sounds like drunk talk.

prommie July 26, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Autodidacts can have these strange holes in their knowledge, I know so many words only from reading them, and have no idea how to pronounce them. That would include the entirety of my small French vocabulaire.

prommie July 26, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Easy to use in a sentence, talk to a republican for 30 seconds, and then say "quit with them shibboleths." They will always give you a reason to say it.

weejee July 26, 2012 at 11:04 am

DarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadick
DarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadick
DarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadick
DarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadick
DarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadick
DarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadick

And by the way, Darrellisadick too also.

Mumbletypeg July 26, 2012 at 11:12 am

Fuck Darrel, Marry Lisa, Kill Dick?

RadioBowels July 26, 2012 at 11:24 am

♫ ♬ Moaning Issa, Moaning Issa, men have named you.♫ ♬

mrpuma2u July 26, 2012 at 11:04 am

Where is the bill that says Congress has to do more than 6% of actual work in one week? Lazy parasite scumbags.

hagajim July 26, 2012 at 12:34 pm

It doesn't exist because Congress would have to pass it, and they can't do anything.

Gratuitous World July 26, 2012 at 11:06 am

no,no. the prefix youre looking for is "fun-"
because everyone loves being unemployed

deanbooth July 26, 2012 at 11:06 am

This bill would just be more incentive for the Republicans to keep unemployment high. No more regulations, ever!

AncienReggie July 26, 2012 at 11:47 am

They've demonstrated these skills while illustrating cynicism.

ph7 July 26, 2012 at 11:07 am

“Nothing could be more insincere than to pick on professional staff on a typographical error”

Except, maybe, voting to repeal Obamacare for the 34th time.

starfanglednut July 26, 2012 at 11:30 am

Zing!

bikerlaureate July 26, 2012 at 6:04 pm

If anyone knows insincerity, by gum, it's Darrell Issa.

Doktor Zoom July 26, 2012 at 11:07 am

A comical-typo story with no reference to the "Wicked Bible" of 1631? Jim, I am disappoint.

Oblios_Cap July 26, 2012 at 11:50 am

Wow. It's always great to learn something new.

A sonic boom to you, Dr. Zoom!

OneYieldRegular July 26, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Oh the fun we used to have as apprentices in ye olde printers' guild.

JustPixelz July 26, 2012 at 11:08 am

No more regulations!?! How will they stop Planned Parenthood and keep the Abortionplex from opening on time?

UnholyMoses July 26, 2012 at 11:08 am

The bill is just another way to fellate their corporate masters … which is why I'm surprised no Dems took the GOP's side.

That being typed, if Dems had done this, no way in fucking hell would the GOP have let them change it.

And that, ladies and gents, is just one example of why the GOP sucks sweaty donkey balls.

CapeClod July 26, 2012 at 11:08 am

Senator Kyle of Arizona wrote this bill. He says that "Only 6% of Americans are actually employed." Later, he clarified what he said by saying that it wasn't to be taken as a factual statement.

GeorgiaBurning July 26, 2012 at 11:32 am

Actually, only 6% of Senator Kyl's brain is employed, but this won't hurt his standing with the Arizona voters

Antispandex July 26, 2012 at 11:08 am

This is very interesting…well to me. The issue here isn't the stupidity of the bill, but the stupidity of the typo (and subsequent bitchery)? The real problem is that they would let it come up for a vote, all quiet like, if they spelled everything correctly.

sbj1964 July 26, 2012 at 11:09 am

Employment at 6% that's just so they can raise the number of H1 visas so they can hire over seas engineers at half the pay as American graduate students that they loaded with tuition debt.The rich have a plan,and as the middle class were not in it.

fawkedifiknow July 26, 2012 at 11:10 am

I get where Issa is coming from on this. If only we had a recent Republican administration that was all hell-bent on deregulating everything so that our blessed free market system and financial sector could have free rein to create jobs and a growing economy. That would fix everything. But, we don't have any recent experience with that…

Oh, wait. What?

Native_of_SL_UT July 26, 2012 at 11:10 am

This is also just ass-backwards. We should regulate the hell out of companies until they get the unemployment rate below 6%. That will get them hopping.

pinkocommi July 26, 2012 at 11:11 am

I am looking forward to when Republicans leave the 'L' out of the word 'public.' Public option…. Public financing…. The possibilities are endless.

actor212 July 26, 2012 at 11:16 am

Public housing

Tundra Grifter July 26, 2012 at 11:18 am

Off-the-Mark LeVin has been calling the "RePubicans" for years. That's a fair sample of his subtle, adult humor.

bobbert July 26, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Shit, you mean I'll have to stop doing that?

Tundra Grifter July 26, 2012 at 2:02 pm

No – just don't call Sec. Clinton "Her Thighness."

eggsacklywright July 26, 2012 at 11:12 am

Thank Gott it was only a typo and not some dangling parable or some shit. I'd think Repugs would like Grammar Nazis.

proudgrampa July 26, 2012 at 11:36 am

Or a split infinitive. I hate split infinitives.

Caelan Aegana July 26, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Dangling parable? Is that a bit like a run-on epic?

SayItWithWookies July 26, 2012 at 11:14 am

So a simple typographical error turned what was a stupid bill with sweeping unforseeable consequences into an absurdly preposterous bill with sweeping unforseeable consequences. Which brings me to my question: You're expecting me to believe that Darrell Issa was able to figure this out?

Tundra Grifter July 26, 2012 at 11:16 am

Book collectors with nothing better to do seek Bibles with certain typos. One of the most sought-after omitted "not" from the 6th Commandment.

Mumbletypeg July 26, 2012 at 11:25 am

seek Bibles with certain typos

I found the typo-filled bible I was seeking at my local Barnes & Noble.
And went and replaced it where it properly belonged, in the "Horror Fiction" section.

CapeClod July 26, 2012 at 11:16 am

“Nothing could be more insincere than to pick on professional staff on a typographical error,”

Especially if that typographical error completely changes the meaning of the law being voted on. Do they get their professional staff from Liberty College graduates?

hagajim July 26, 2012 at 12:36 pm

On the right – absolutely.

Generation[redacted] July 26, 2012 at 11:16 am

Sure only 6% of Americans are employed, but productivity is through the roof!

Tundra Grifter July 26, 2012 at 11:17 am

For years we've listened to the right wing nutz whine about Speaker Pelosi saying "We have to pass the bill [Affordable Health Care] in order to know what's in it."

Well, it sure likes all those GNoPee'rs in the House didn't bother to read this bill before they were ready to vote on it.

smitallica July 26, 2012 at 11:17 am

Jesus. Did the Republicans also add "No touchbacks, no reversies, infinity!!!" at the end of the bill?

What a bunch of fucking idiot children.

gvvt July 26, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Sir, I demand that you take back your slanderous insult to fucking idiot children everywhere.

weejee July 26, 2012 at 11:19 am

Willard, the Thuglican's anointed Prime Douchnozzle, is showing his foreign policy skillz by already having to walk back his remarks that PM Cameron and the Brits don't have a f**king clue about running teh Olympics and security. Really smooth there Mittens with our special relation with the UK. What do you think they are, our doormat? Maybe Mittens was dreaming about Kocks, like Cameron was fond of during his campaign.

actor212 July 26, 2012 at 11:28 am

It says Romney will attend the opening ceremonies on Friday.

We need to make sure he gets booed, royally.

And I do mean, by the Queen and country.

Mumbletypeg July 26, 2012 at 11:21 am

Jobs Creation haz a sad.

This is the way the solution-seeking ends.
This is the way the problem-solving ends.
This is the way effective legislating ends.
Not with a *bang* but a simper.

Fairtackle July 26, 2012 at 11:25 am

Issa admonishing on sincerity and professionalism. That is rich.

freakishlywrong July 26, 2012 at 11:28 am

I hold the entire Republican caucus in contempt.

crybabyboehner July 26, 2012 at 11:32 am

No wonder the country is going to hell – Wonkette is wasting our time about some stupid bill, and meanwhile the Hill's Most Beautiful list is out!

Terry July 26, 2012 at 11:32 am

This bill does two things for the House GOP. First, it gives them a little window dressing that allows them to say they did something on jobs when really they were preoccupied with lady parts and passing useless bills related to the health care act. Second, if passed, this bill means that they'd be unable by law to do any work at all. Instead of just being lazy, they'd be required to be lazy by law.

Callyson July 26, 2012 at 11:36 am

Well, the Reeps could hire a proofreader–then they would finally create a job, and wouldn't make stupid mistakes like this one.

Or not…

proudgrampa July 26, 2012 at 11:43 am

WTF?

Actually, a bill that essentially shuts the government down is not that bad an idea.

Just sayin'.

An_Outhouse July 26, 2012 at 11:43 am

This humble member of the glorious House of Representatives requests that his esteemed colleagues to please refrain from outsourcing the serious business of bill construction to countries other than the great United States of America, especially those where the traditional language of law, English, is not a primary language of daily commerce.

Guppy July 26, 2012 at 11:44 am

The free markets say you need better "professional" staff.

AlNewMan July 26, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Haste makes more tasty waste…ummmmmmm

notanncoulter July 26, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Virginia Foxx (R-N.C.).
Every time I see this name I think… "Yup, she has the perfect ratio of asshole to idiot", as do a few other "esteemed members" of our congress.
There are few people on the face of this planet for which I hold so much contempt, and so few that are truly worthy of said contempt.

poorgradstudent July 26, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Can the House become any more crackpot insane? We're beginning to breach "Idi Amin naming himself the King of Scotland" levels here.

MonkeyMotion July 26, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Here's one the GOP 'professional staff' can check for typos:

"Darrell Issa is a goat-humping douchebag."

Designer_Rants July 26, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Nothing like tying far-reaching legislation to an arbitrary number.

MinAgain July 27, 2012 at 9:09 am

Proofreading is hard.

ttommyunger July 27, 2012 at 10:26 am

Our House of Representatives is conducting one circle-jerk after another and will continue to enjoy that level of relevance so long as the Dems hold the Senate and the White House. I, for one, am greatly relieved.

DahBoner July 27, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Slow your roll, Motherfuckers™…

FakaktaSouth July 26, 2012 at 12:01 pm

And stop smart-assing at me, I know what your job is. Trust me.

bobbert July 26, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Since the whole point of "shibboleth" is the pronunciation, that's a particularly apt example.

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