9% approval rating

Congress Goes Nuts Over Somewhat Comical Typo

He is tangentially related to this storyThe House of Representatives wants to vote on a bill that would “prohibit major federal regulations until the unemployment rate falls to 6 percent,” meaning it wants to ban new regulations permanently. Unfortunately, the version that House Republicans entered yesterday said that “federal agencies would be barred from issuing new regulations until the labor secretary submits a report ‘that the Bureau of Labor Statistics average of monthly employment rates for any quarter beginning after the date of the enactment of this Act is equal to or less than 6.0 percent.’” Did the Democrats politely let House Republicans change this to unemployment? Only after screwing around with them for a while.

From The Hill:

Earlier in the day, Minority Whip Steny Hoyer (D-Md.) said he would not grant unanimous consent to add “un” to the word “employment” and thus fix the bill on the floor. And Wednesday afternoon, Rep. Gerry Connolly (D-Va.) indicated that Democrats were not willing yet to allow the quick fix.

House Oversight and Government Affairs Committee Chairman Darrell Issa (R-Calif.) asked Connolly if he would object to a unanimous consent request to make the correction. Issa cast the error as a mistake made by professional staff.

But in reply, Connolly said, “This member will reserve the right to object at the appropriate time.”

“Nothing could be more insincere than to pick on professional staff on a typographical error,” Issa shot back. “If we have to … go to the Rules Committee, I guess we will, but I’m really sorry to see that kind of an attitude on what the gentleman and all of us know was simply a typographical error.”

Connolly then took umbrage with Issa’s remark, and asked the presiding officer, “Did this member hear … the distinguished chairman of the Oversight and Government Reform Committee characterize a member as insincere?”

Ha ha, silly Darrell Issa is… right. But what is this dumb bill anyway?

UPDATE: A friendly tipster emails, “YOU FUCKING MORONS! THE \’CONGRESS GOES NUTS\’ POST IS OUTDATED == TURNS OUT THERE WAS A SECOND TYPO!” OKAY, Jesus Christ:

To fix that, the House Rules Committee approved a rule that, once passed by the House, would deem the bill to be corrected to say “unemployment.” But that rule incorrectly refers to the main rule for the bill as H.Res. 783, when it should have said H.Res. 738.

Rep. Virginia Foxx (R-N.C.) asked for unanimous consent to fix that numbering error, in order to proceed to the rule fixing the “unemployment” error. But she was met by Democrats who said the second error, while understandable, shows that Republicans are moving too quickly on legislation.

“I do think this is more than simply a double error,” Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.) said. “It’s a matter of haste.”

[WaPo, The Hill]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
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103 comments

  1. actor212

    I for one wish unemployment would reach 94%, because by then we'd finally have the balls-to-the-walls, line-em-up-and-shoot-em (with votes) revolution we all say we want

    1. bureaucrap

      Maybe — but there's at least a 50-50 chance (maybe better) that we would be the ones lined up against the wall, and "Onward, Christian Storm Troopers" (TM) would be the ones with the guns. Be careful what you wish for…

  2. SorosBot

    Well this bill makes perfect sense, as preventing companies from fucking over their employees inhibits employment so much.

    Seriously, what the fuck, Republicans?

    1. MacRaith

      Well, what's the point of hiring people if you can't fuck them over? Would you hire somebody if you had to actually respect their "rights"?

      The ideal employment solution, from the right-wing perspective, is for employers to be allowed to pay their employees nothing. Then they'd be able to hire everyone, and still make obscene profits. Being allowed to torture their employees is just an extra incentive.

  3. Goonemeritus

    I doubt it was a typo I have all the faith in the world that Mitt can get American employment down under 6%.

  4. RedneckMuslin

    I guess Issa thinks the Republicans will retake the Senate and the presidency.

    How else is unemployment supposed to reach 94%?

  5. freakishlywrong

    I can't wait till all these bitches just cold start bitch slappin' each other. This is the only productive thing Republican house members are capable of.

  6. Baconzgood

    I like seing the Dems pull the same kind of Mickey Mouse shit that the GOP always pulls. Now if the just starting calling Mitt a Kenyan….

  7. Goonemeritus

    At 6% traditional employment the employer based healthcare system might be somewhat strained

  8. actor212

    Ooooh, David Cameron SMACKS Romney and hard!

    Juice quote:

    He went on: "We are holding an Olympic Games in one of the busiest, most active, bustling cities anywhere in the world. Of course it's easier if you hold an Olympic Games in the middle of nowhere."

    That's gonna leave a mark!

    1. Baconzgood

      He went on to say to Romney "Did you talk to Deez?" When Romney asked "Deez who?" Cameron replied "DEEZ NUTS!!!!!" and grabbed his batch.

    2. Katydid

      In their private meeting, the candidate is understood to have told Mr Cameron that he had been inspired by what he had seen of the British public who had lined the route of the torch relay ahead of the opening ceremony tomorrow.

      These goddamned "reporters," writing down what Mitt's spin team says and vomiting it back out.

  9. Goonemeritus

    So Congress would pass a law that prevents them from passing laws, now that’s innovation.

  10. e_z

    "When I use a word, Darrell Issa said in rather a scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less."

    "The question is," said Connolly, "whether you can make words mean so many different things."

    "The question is," said Issa, "which is to be master— that's all."

    Screw it said ez.

      1. Generation[redacted]

        "I was walking down the street minding my own business, when this pile of stolen car radios felon top of me."

  11. prommie

    What in fucking tarnation is a-going on around here? A blog called "Wonkette" concerning itself with matters legislative, political, and policy-related?

    But where are our TV show recaps? Where is the feminist victim-whinging that is the real reason we all come to Wonkette?

    1. FakaktaSouth

      Shut up and let me ask you something – why are regulations job killers? You need extra people to do what? NOT make sure that people are using the proper safety equipment? Cause I am pretty sure OSHA hires people, I dealt with them in the 90s during the bad old days of lots of folks having jobs. I think they could say no more of any old word and it would mean the same nothing.

      Also, what is whinging? Even if you are superior you shouldn't make up words.

      1. prommie

        Websters defines "whinging" as "what goes on at Jezebel where every little thing is framed as an assault on women and/or feminism."

        No shit, huh, regulations create jobs, hey, guess what my job is? Regulatory compliance consultant! Wow.

        Not to mention that the vast majority of all regulations are lobbied for by the regulated businesses, who tend to have an incestuous relationship with the regulators (finance and the Fed, jesus christ thats some incest there) and the industry tends to use the regulations to inhibit competition. Oh and I do some regulatory lobbying, too. For a regulated industry, holy shit.

        So "regulations kill jobs" is just another GOP shibboleth, fancy talk for total bullshit.

      2. prommie

        And BTW, regarding my alleged superiority (just because I am smart and fancy doesn't mean I am better than anyone) I did have to go look up "shibboleth" just to make sure I really did know what it meant, so I would not make a fool of my ownself.

        1. FakaktaSouth

          I don't understand how this would be a word you could learn and think there could be alternate meanings, I learned this word today, looked it up and now I know. I don't know when I will be able to ever use the word in a sentence, but I like it. It sounds like drunk talk.

          1. prommie

            Autodidacts can have these strange holes in their knowledge, I know so many words only from reading them, and have no idea how to pronounce them. That would include the entirety of my small French vocabulaire.

          2. bobbert

            Since the whole point of "shibboleth" is the pronunciation, that's a particularly apt example.

          3. prommie

            Easy to use in a sentence, talk to a republican for 30 seconds, and then say "quit with them shibboleths." They will always give you a reason to say it.

  12. weejee

    DarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadick
    DarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadick
    DarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadick
    DarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadick
    DarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadick
    DarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadickDarrellisadick

    And by the way, Darrellisadick too also.

  13. mrpuma2u

    Where is the bill that says Congress has to do more than 6% of actual work in one week? Lazy parasite scumbags.

  14. ph7

    “Nothing could be more insincere than to pick on professional staff on a typographical error”

    Except, maybe, voting to repeal Obamacare for the 34th time.

  15. JustPixelz

    No more regulations!?! How will they stop Planned Parenthood and keep the Abortionplex from opening on time?

  16. UnholyMoses

    The bill is just another way to fellate their corporate masters … which is why I'm surprised no Dems took the GOP's side.

    That being typed, if Dems had done this, no way in fucking hell would the GOP have let them change it.

    And that, ladies and gents, is just one example of why the GOP sucks sweaty donkey balls.

  17. CapeClod

    Senator Kyle of Arizona wrote this bill. He says that "Only 6% of Americans are actually employed." Later, he clarified what he said by saying that it wasn't to be taken as a factual statement.

    1. GeorgiaBurning

      Actually, only 6% of Senator Kyl's brain is employed, but this won't hurt his standing with the Arizona voters

  18. Antispandex

    This is very interesting…well to me. The issue here isn't the stupidity of the bill, but the stupidity of the typo (and subsequent bitchery)? The real problem is that they would let it come up for a vote, all quiet like, if they spelled everything correctly.

  19. sbj1964

    Employment at 6% that's just so they can raise the number of H1 visas so they can hire over seas engineers at half the pay as American graduate students that they loaded with tuition debt.The rich have a plan,and as the middle class were not in it.

  20. fawkedifiknow

    I get where Issa is coming from on this. If only we had a recent Republican administration that was all hell-bent on deregulating everything so that our blessed free market system and financial sector could have free rein to create jobs and a growing economy. That would fix everything. But, we don't have any recent experience with that…

    Oh, wait. What?

  21. Native_of_SL_UT

    This is also just ass-backwards. We should regulate the hell out of companies until they get the unemployment rate below 6%. That will get them hopping.

  22. pinkocommi

    I am looking forward to when Republicans leave the 'L' out of the word 'public.' Public option…. Public financing…. The possibilities are endless.

    1. Tundra Grifter

      Off-the-Mark LeVin has been calling the "RePubicans" for years. That's a fair sample of his subtle, adult humor.

  23. eggsacklywright

    Thank Gott it was only a typo and not some dangling parable or some shit. I'd think Repugs would like Grammar Nazis.

  24. SayItWithWookies

    So a simple typographical error turned what was a stupid bill with sweeping unforseeable consequences into an absurdly preposterous bill with sweeping unforseeable consequences. Which brings me to my question: You're expecting me to believe that Darrell Issa was able to figure this out?

  25. Tundra Grifter

    Book collectors with nothing better to do seek Bibles with certain typos. One of the most sought-after omitted "not" from the 6th Commandment.

    1. Mumbletypeg

      seek Bibles with certain typos

      I found the typo-filled bible I was seeking at my local Barnes & Noble.
      And went and replaced it where it properly belonged, in the "Horror Fiction" section.

  26. CapeClod

    “Nothing could be more insincere than to pick on professional staff on a typographical error,”

    Especially if that typographical error completely changes the meaning of the law being voted on. Do they get their professional staff from Liberty College graduates?

  27. Generation[redacted]

    Sure only 6% of Americans are employed, but productivity is through the roof!

  28. Tundra Grifter

    For years we've listened to the right wing nutz whine about Speaker Pelosi saying "We have to pass the bill [Affordable Health Care] in order to know what's in it."

    Well, it sure likes all those GNoPee'rs in the House didn't bother to read this bill before they were ready to vote on it.

  29. smitallica

    Jesus. Did the Republicans also add "No touchbacks, no reversies, infinity!!!" at the end of the bill?

    What a bunch of fucking idiot children.

    1. gvvt

      Sir, I demand that you take back your slanderous insult to fucking idiot children everywhere.

  30. weejee

    Willard, the Thuglican's anointed Prime Douchnozzle, is showing his foreign policy skillz by already having to walk back his remarks that PM Cameron and the Brits don't have a f**king clue about running teh Olympics and security. Really smooth there Mittens with our special relation with the UK. What do you think they are, our doormat? Maybe Mittens was dreaming about Kocks, like Cameron was fond of during his campaign.

    1. actor212

      It says Romney will attend the opening ceremonies on Friday.

      We need to make sure he gets booed, royally.

      And I do mean, by the Queen and country.

  31. Mumbletypeg

    Jobs Creation haz a sad.

    This is the way the solution-seeking ends.
    This is the way the problem-solving ends.
    This is the way effective legislating ends.
    Not with a *bang* but a simper.

  32. crybabyboehner

    No wonder the country is going to hell – Wonkette is wasting our time about some stupid bill, and meanwhile the Hill's Most Beautiful list is out!

  33. Terry

    This bill does two things for the House GOP. First, it gives them a little window dressing that allows them to say they did something on jobs when really they were preoccupied with lady parts and passing useless bills related to the health care act. Second, if passed, this bill means that they'd be unable by law to do any work at all. Instead of just being lazy, they'd be required to be lazy by law.

  34. Callyson

    Well, the Reeps could hire a proofreader–then they would finally create a job, and wouldn't make stupid mistakes like this one.

    Or not…

  35. proudgrampa

    WTF?

    Actually, a bill that essentially shuts the government down is not that bad an idea.

    Just sayin'.

  36. An_Outhouse

    This humble member of the glorious House of Representatives requests that his esteemed colleagues to please refrain from outsourcing the serious business of bill construction to countries other than the great United States of America, especially those where the traditional language of law, English, is not a primary language of daily commerce.

  37. notanncoulter

    Virginia Foxx (R-N.C.).
    Every time I see this name I think… "Yup, she has the perfect ratio of asshole to idiot", as do a few other "esteemed members" of our congress.
    There are few people on the face of this planet for which I hold so much contempt, and so few that are truly worthy of said contempt.

  38. poorgradstudent

    Can the House become any more crackpot insane? We're beginning to breach "Idi Amin naming himself the King of Scotland" levels here.

  39. MonkeyMotion

    Here's one the GOP 'professional staff' can check for typos:

    "Darrell Issa is a goat-humping douchebag."

  40. ttommyunger

    Our House of Representatives is conducting one circle-jerk after another and will continue to enjoy that level of relevance so long as the Dems hold the Senate and the White House. I, for one, am greatly relieved.

Comments are closed.