GET THEE BEHIND HIM LUCIFER  6:18 pm July 25, 2012

The Devil Accuses Bobby Jindal Of Sinning In His Heart (And In His Hand) To Amy Grant

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Behold this dramatization of Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal’s account of the exorcism of a friend that he performed in college. This is just an excellent film, detailed and insightful about the spiritual warfare that aims to drive Lucifer from the bodies of our fellow humans.

It is better than any piece of filmmaking yet to include the trenchant declaration, “I queef on your Bible.”

[CultJamPro]

 

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{ 186 comments }

randcoolcatdaddy July 25, 2012 at 6:21 pm

I wasn't aware that one could exorcise Dick Cheney. I guess he could use some aerobics.

Boojum July 25, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Dude could use a ten mile run, uphill, in Atlanta in August.

Gleem McShineys July 25, 2012 at 7:40 pm

Will the judges also accept "a downhill roll" if it included freeways?

MittBorg July 25, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Only if they're *busy* freeways.

MittBorg July 25, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Piker. He could do 20.

Fraudulently_Joe July 25, 2012 at 6:22 pm

I sin in my hand pretty much daily. Long-distance relationships are tough that way.

Billmatic July 25, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Reading this in Droopy Dog voice is one of the best things ever.

Swampgas_Man July 25, 2012 at 8:00 pm

Does picking your nose qualify as sinning on your finger?

Vecchiojohn July 25, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Only if you eat it, I think.

MittBorg July 25, 2012 at 10:28 pm

I hope whenever you two get to see each other, you lock all the doors and windows, draw all the curtains, turn off all the phones, scream "Towanda!" at the top of your lungs and sin mightily for the first 24 hours together, at least.

And not just because it would make the Republicans plotz.

Nostrildamus July 25, 2012 at 6:24 pm

The "sulfer" bit was hilarious. I am 5 years old.

Extemporanus July 25, 2012 at 6:24 pm

"There is nothing that keeps wicked men at any one moment out of hell, but the mere pleasure of God."

- John Edwards, Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God

FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP

/God

weejee July 25, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Do like yer new avatar.

Extemporanus July 25, 2012 at 6:43 pm

I owe it all to you, mon frère.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 25, 2012 at 8:22 pm

Spoken like a true Ducreux.

Jukesgrrl July 25, 2012 at 6:44 pm

"John" Edwards. Ha! P for giving me the first reason I've ever had to be glad I took History of Religion in America 201.

berkeleyfarm July 26, 2012 at 12:30 am

American Literature survey that began at the beginning, here. I second the "Ha!".

DrunkIrishman July 25, 2012 at 6:24 pm

She wanted to vote, so obviously she must've been possessed by the devil.

Antispandex July 25, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Dramatization? You mean it didn't really happen? It seemed so real!

weejee July 25, 2012 at 6:25 pm

I queef on your Bible

Holy tuna melt, Bobby has totally beat down the split pea soup.

Typodong3 July 25, 2012 at 6:25 pm

I tried watching but fell asleep at the typewriter part! What did I miss?

sewollef July 26, 2012 at 8:30 am

Jesus…. that'd be 11 minutes 32 seconds of my life I'd never get back. Ever.

Can I afford it? What else could I be doing with those valuable minutes? Oh, that's right, I have a creative brief all-day meeting to attend. All day. For an insurance company.

Y'know, some days, you're damned to hell if you do and damned to hell if you don't. Bugger.

HistoriCat July 26, 2012 at 9:28 am

You could really enliven that meeting if you re-enacted that video. Just a suggestion.

BlueStateLibel July 25, 2012 at 6:25 pm

But does Bobbi Jindal have a ceremony to drive the stupid from Republicans' brains? Because that's what we really need.

Typodong3 July 25, 2012 at 7:03 pm

There has never been a priest ordained that could handle driving the stupid from the Republicans. Thats a whole nuther level of demonic.

smokefilledroomba July 25, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Susan complained of smelling a sulfur like odor
Was Susan smelling farts? Or Satan? And what if Satan farted?

edit: I posted before I watched the whole thing. All of the above are true.

Fraudulently_Joe July 25, 2012 at 6:39 pm

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/phantosmia/AN016

It's amazing how many of these supernatural/reglious experiences end up boiling down to moderate-to-severe brain damage.

smokefilledroomba July 25, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Satan sometimes smells like burnt toast.. Just depends on what cologne he uses that day.

va_real July 25, 2012 at 6:26 pm

So the devil popped out of her & into Booby Jindal, who has been a willing slave to Satan ever since. The end.

HistoriCat July 25, 2012 at 11:10 pm

Too bad Bobby didn't follow Father Damian's lead when the devil entered him!

Billmatic July 25, 2012 at 6:26 pm

A good queef would really spice that Bible up.

weejee July 25, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Probly help when fishing for men. And some girlz, also too.

Dashboard Buddha July 25, 2012 at 6:34 pm

I think you can find that in the condiments aisle at your grocer's.

Boojum July 25, 2012 at 7:29 pm

We do not have the same grocer.

Dashboard Buddha July 25, 2012 at 8:39 pm

:::waves hand:::These are not the deviled eggs you're looking for.—

BoatOfVelociraptors July 25, 2012 at 8:25 pm
DemmeFatale July 25, 2012 at 8:46 pm

I just love the thought of having to explain "queef" to inquiring minds.

Nostrildamus July 25, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Those Christian "support" meetings look awesome. I'm glad everyone there is free to purchase an assault rifle.

Blueb4sinrise July 25, 2012 at 6:31 pm

I made it til almost 1:00, then I looked over to see the total time and said FUCK IT.

By the way, if this was a 'horrendous exorcism', what's a 'good exorcism'?

Anyway, The Hound is calling me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4quj5b5zfvk&fe

Fare la Volpe July 25, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Dude. Watch it. Watch every last second of it.

Your life will never be the same.

Spurning Beer July 25, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Amen.

iburl July 25, 2012 at 10:02 pm

feel free to skip ahead until you see a lot of shaky cam and screaming.

MittBorg July 25, 2012 at 10:34 pm

Thank you. Another undiscovered gem.

LionHeartSoyDog July 25, 2012 at 11:30 pm

"Hell-hound On My Trail."

sbj1964 July 25, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Satan & Jesus are brothers just ask a Mormon Mittens.Demons/Corparations are people too my friend.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 July 26, 2012 at 1:11 am

Speaking of Mittens…I took my nephews to go see "the Dark Knight Rises" today and it occured to me that there are unintended similarities between Bane and Bain (spoiler alert!). There's a part where Bane attacks the 'Gotham Stock Exchange' (aka the Chicago Stock Exchange…oh I wish Santelli had been there to get beaten down and/or killed) in order to force Bruce Wayne to make a horrible trade liquidating all of his assets, at least temporarily so some rich dildo could take over Wayne Enterprises. Then Bane turned around and liquidated said rich dildo bodily when all didn't go as planned…and it got me to thinking. Bain has pretty much made a brand out of taking over and then forcibly liquidating unassuming companies after forcing them to go into debt. Then Bain turns around and sells whats left off and pockets pensions, etc…Viking capitalism so to speak. The big difference is in the film, Bane isn't as vilanous because everything he does is to accomplish a goal greater than money and Bain of course does this over and over out of simple greed and avarice. Interesting thought, though…and yes Bain is MUCH worse than Bane…nuke bomb and all (end spoiler).

smokefilledroomba July 25, 2012 at 6:31 pm

What an attention whore, that Susan.

CheeseBro69 July 25, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Whats the big deal? We all know college is a time for experimentation.

Dashboard Buddha July 25, 2012 at 6:32 pm

"Susan complained of smelling a sulfur like odor "

Burritos: Satan's express ticket.

MittBorg July 25, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Listen, burritos will give ANYBODY sulfurous farts. (waves hand around like mad)

Dashboard Buddha July 25, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Sort of like, "Hey big fella…did you cavort with Satan or just get take out at South of the Border?"

MittBorg July 25, 2012 at 11:28 pm

Sort of like, "Who cut the fucking LIMBURGHER, dood?"

viennawoods13 July 26, 2012 at 12:18 am

Or should that be… Limbaugh?

smokefilledroomba July 25, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Kevin's like, "I'm all into midgets!"

SayItWithWookies July 25, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Wow — what some people have to make up in order to lie on top of a girl.

Tequila Mockingbird July 25, 2012 at 6:34 pm

To be fair, everyone masturbated to Amy Grant back then.

Jukesgrrl July 25, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Although I wouldn't give you a dollar for the rest of her oeuvre, there's something to be said for When the Lights are Coming on in the House of Love. Inspired by adultery instead of Jesus, so shit yeah. Don't watch the video, though, or you'll be spewing, too.

extreme_left July 25, 2012 at 7:15 pm

still do

bflrtsplk July 25, 2012 at 8:16 pm

I was still stuck on Donna Summer. Still am, come to think of it.

smokefilledroomba July 25, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Noooo! Not 2Live Crew!!!

HempDogbane July 25, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Mitt has also undergone an Ivy League exorcism !

ChernobylSoup July 25, 2012 at 6:35 pm

I was at Brown around that time and I'm calling BS. No way there's a Christian Prayer Fellowship amongst the euro trash and Hollywood spawn on that campus.

Spurning Beer July 25, 2012 at 9:07 pm

You're a Camp Bruno alumnus, too? That makes at least three of us, then, including Editor Kirstin, wherever she is these days.

I was there back in the nineteen-tickities, and in my day there were a sprinkling of fervent fundamentalistas and even some Jews for Jesus around, but mostly keeping a low profile.

Traditionalists like me stuck with acid and Korean Zen.

ChernobylSoup July 25, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Late 90s for me and just for grad school, so I was once removed from the regular campus culture. But from what I saw Jindal must have been part of a very small clique indeed.

LionHeartSoyDog July 25, 2012 at 11:42 pm

…and a very small dique indeed."

coolhandnuke July 25, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Needz more Queefer Sutherland.

kittensdontlie July 25, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Some head W-kette has mixed up videos/stories!! Bristle was casting devils out of the possessed Guido( who bears a likeness to BJindal) who was capable of speaking in tongues since the tongue wasn't otherwise occupied in a Palin love-quest..

mush2 July 25, 2012 at 6:39 pm

"…a rival campus christian group.." I didn't know there was a competition for the favors of the Lord. Does that involve the speaking in tongues challenge?

Boojum July 25, 2012 at 7:31 pm

And a cross relay.

bobbert July 25, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Snake-put.

Dashboard Buddha July 25, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Glossolalia high jump

mavenmaven July 25, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Was that intended to be a parody? Did that virtuous Asian girl actually show her boobs to a MAN?

Spurning Beer July 25, 2012 at 9:11 pm

A fraternity man.

smokefilledroomba July 25, 2012 at 6:44 pm

Eat My Farts Loser!!!
That was one of the best things I've seen in a long time.

Maman July 25, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Epic.

RadioBowels July 25, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Well that would explain the sulfurous odor.

rickmaci July 25, 2012 at 6:44 pm

When I was in college I briefly had a girlfriend who would carry on and get all raving insane if I came before she did. Oh the shit that erupted from her mouth when she was enraged, just like Susan. The last time that happened I really thought she was about to start levitating off the bed. I heard recently, she had some legal problem involving her husband and is now doing 25 to life somewhere in California. I did not become the governor of anything.

Extemporanus July 25, 2012 at 6:54 pm

♫♬ Oh come, all ye faithful…" ♫♬

BoatOfVelociraptors July 25, 2012 at 7:09 pm

But if Faith is full, where … Oh.

Tundra Grifter July 25, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Well, of course Bobby Jindal went to BROWN University.

Duh!

smokefilledroomba July 25, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Susan converted to Catholicism. Bobby Jindal is the Governor of Louisiana.
Great ending there.

bobbert July 25, 2012 at 8:42 pm

Everyone else was run over by a truck.

sbj1964 July 25, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Every Time I think the right wing GOP party of God has said,
or done something stupid they raise the bar by putting a Mormon cult member up for President.Who has held almost the same opinion on politics as Obama.Until the GOP told him what he really stands for.Amazing!

nobodyssweetheart July 25, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Masterful acting from Tanorexic Emo Phillips as the young Jindal

MittBorg July 25, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Somebody needs to talk to Casting. Couldn't they find a single fucking Indian to play that loser Piyush Jindal? Not only did they get themselves a shada-samra, but they painted him so bad it's scary.

commiegirl99 July 25, 2012 at 11:26 pm

Yeah, I really didn't know what to say about the brownface, so I pretended I didn't see. Is that wrong?

MittBorg July 25, 2012 at 11:31 pm

Nah. I know you taught PoliSci in CA, so it's good.

But srsly, dudina, is that sad or what? I mean, they've got like that Kal Penn dood and that Asif Mandvi dood, and fuck, Bollywood's even bigger than Hollywood, and there's even that gorgeous Jimi Mistri.

They had to give us this fucking panwallah from the streets of Peoria, no less.

HistoriCat July 26, 2012 at 9:32 am

Maybe someone was trying to slip in a very subtle statement about Bobby Jindal. Hmmm.

LionHeartSoyDog July 25, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Well, it is a colored school, so it can't be too wrong.

nobodyssweetheart July 26, 2012 at 1:38 am

He also is nowhere near college age. That's a hard, haggard 18 year old.

Or Jindal has Benjamin Button syndrome in addition to everything else wrong with him.

ManchuCandidate July 25, 2012 at 6:52 pm

The devil went down to Brown U. He was lookin' for a soul to steal. He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind, and he was willin' to make a deal, when he came across this young man talking' to a lady and getting' her hot.

And the devil jumped up on a hickory stump and said, "Boy, let me tell you what. I guess you didn't know it but I'm a humping demon, too. And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you. Now, you have some good Xtian game, boy, but give the devil his due. I'll encase your virginity in gold against you screwing her, 'cause I think I'm better than you."

The boy said, "My name's Bobby, and it might be a sin. But I'll take your bet, you're gonna regret, 'cause I'm the first brown exorcist anyone's seen."

Johnny, lube up your brow and wave your cross hard, 'cause hell's broke loose in the Ivy League and the devil deals the cards. And if you win you get to keep your virginity encased in gold. But if you lose, the devil will make you screw.

Dashboard Buddha July 25, 2012 at 11:27 pm

"He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind"

OT. Am I the only one who thinks this makes Satan look like a used car salesman, and Sal, the owner of Honest Sal's Pre-Owned Cars is jumping in his shit because he didn't make quota this month.

Hold on here…he'd the fucking devil. Who dictates quotas to the devil?

LetUsBray July 25, 2012 at 11:54 pm

Half-remembered joke: A guy walks into a restaurant and up to a table set for three. The devil is sitting at one place, and the guy sits at another. The devil says, "Look, man, Cheney couldn't make it." The guy says, "See here, I talk to your boss or no one!"

I'm sure the joke would make more sense/be funnier if I knew who the guy was. But even so I once told it to a class and was treated to half the kids whispering to the other half, "He's saying Dick Cheney is the devil's boss."

MiniMencken July 25, 2012 at 6:56 pm

They were saying "queef" at Brown in 1994? No wonder the admissions office is deluged with applications. Go Bears!

Spurning Beer July 25, 2012 at 9:15 pm

In 1994, you could major in Queef Studies at Brown.

deanbooth July 25, 2012 at 7:01 pm

I smell elderberries.

glasspusher July 25, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Are you suggesting my father was there?

rickmaci July 25, 2012 at 7:03 pm

In the video Bobby seems a little, well let's be blunt, chicken. Stays way far out of the picture during most of the real action. I mean, how you gonna stand up to the Red Chinese if you can't stand up to exorcise a queefing coed possessed by Satan?

Neoyorquino July 25, 2012 at 7:06 pm

I remember my first beer, too.

extreme_left July 25, 2012 at 7:17 pm

some people just don't make it through

fawkedifiknow July 25, 2012 at 7:08 pm

I really really really hope that other religious fruitcake – Romney – picks this Jindal guy. It would be better than McCain and Palin, I guarantee. The two of them make Huckabee appear sane, and his Jebus fixation is pretty ridiculous on it's own merits.

Self-Uploader July 25, 2012 at 7:16 pm

There was a point at which participating in these shenanigans would have destroyed Jindal's chance for higher office. Unfortunately, we are past that point.

Callyson July 25, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Made it to 1:02–is that supposed to be background music?

I think I need an exorcism of sorts after that

(…rushing off to the liquor store…)

PubOption July 25, 2012 at 7:53 pm

I gave up at about the same point. I couldn't understand what the Christian group were mumbling.

MittBorg July 25, 2012 at 10:54 pm

Yeah, I had to load up the vape hugely to get through this.

Fuckin' awful.

poorgradstudent July 25, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Oh why didn't I think of something like this to troll my alma mater's chapter of Campus Crusaders for Christ?

extreme_left July 25, 2012 at 7:23 pm

so satan is mexican?

Monsieur_Grumpe July 25, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Too bad Sammy Davis Jr isn't around anymore. He'd make a good Bobby Jindal.

MittBorg July 25, 2012 at 10:53 pm

Damn sight better thank this one.

Goonemeritus July 25, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Does anyone else think Susan’s small penis crack was likely made to Bobby? I personally don’t blame him for switching things up but let’s face it he kind of has that hung like a hamster look.

Madam Killjoy July 25, 2012 at 8:09 pm

Goonemeritus, I didn't watch the video but I up-fisted you anyway. Because I had a FREE LUNCH from Rossi's today, and that makes me fisty (in a good, thumbs up, not throat-punching way; or the dirty way it sounds, whatever you prefer).

Goonemeritus July 25, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Why postpone Joy, with the world growing more and more irrational sometimes I think that it is only places like Rossi’s that affirm humanities goodness.

Madam Killjoy July 25, 2012 at 10:50 pm

The little things that make life worth living.* They close for August and go to Italy, which is also closed for August. Which just seems like a damned good idea, but whadda I know, flower child hippie commie loser that I am?

*Chicken parm, in vodka sauce. Yes.

LetUsBray July 25, 2012 at 11:58 pm

Glad you're not referring to Piyush's schlong.

Goonemeritus July 26, 2012 at 5:19 am

Hell I would settle for mortadella on semolina bread. I live in Western NY in a very rural area, it’s beautiful but you can’t even buy a tolerable buttered roll much less a sandwich.

Fare la Volpe July 25, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Who knew that demonic possession was just the result of really bad Irritable Bowel Syndrome?

Nopantsmcgee July 25, 2012 at 7:35 pm

When do the kids and Bill Murray get Slimer?

Nopantsmcgee July 25, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Background music by SuperNintendo.

glasspusher July 25, 2012 at 8:19 pm

John Williams was busy/is overrated

Jennyjen798 July 25, 2012 at 10:04 pm
BoatOfVelociraptors July 26, 2012 at 9:05 am

Hey man, The snes had a pretty badass sound chip for its day. Compare the street fighter 2 ports for both genesis and snes.

HarryButtle July 25, 2012 at 7:38 pm

I've got 10 minutes to kill…do I clickee this linkee and watch the dramatization of Bobby Jindal chasing demons out of a cute coed, or do I visit ivyleaguegangbang.com and watch a cute coed chasing cumshots out of a few dozen large cocks?

glasspusher July 25, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Thanks for posing that question. Excuse me, I have to do a little…comparison…

Mittens Howell, III July 25, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Watch the porn with the sound down while listening to the exorcism as a fapping soundtrack.

BarackMyWorld July 25, 2012 at 7:40 pm

Is this demon possession day here at the Wonkette or something?

docterry6973 July 25, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Hey, I'm as big a demon as the next guy but I'm not going to queef on anyone's Bible. Live and let live, I say.

Boojum July 25, 2012 at 7:44 pm

It is amazing how many of these young Christians were just eaten up with the sexual issues. Like all of them.

And by "amazing", I mean "completely to be expected".

iburl July 25, 2012 at 9:32 pm

The production company is called "DogMe 69" so, yeah.

Swampgas_Man July 25, 2012 at 8:04 pm

But can Bobby chase the Debbil out of K-Lo?

Sassomatic July 25, 2012 at 8:04 pm

According to that guy in the glasses, God speaks Honda.

DahBoner July 26, 2012 at 7:13 am

Does God also do Toyotas? Got a wiring problem, hello God????

chascates July 25, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Speak in tongues or GTFO!

BaldarTFlagass July 25, 2012 at 8:10 pm

Dude, did the chick have, like, 8 arms? Because if so you might have pissed off your grandparents' god really bad.

CheeseBro69 July 25, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Let he who hath not exorcised a devil in college cast the first stone.

Chow Yun Flat July 25, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Best movie since Forest Hump.

Schmegeg July 26, 2012 at 12:34 am

But worst ever Community episode.

Callyson July 26, 2012 at 1:03 am

What, no love for Nailin' Palin?

glasspusher July 25, 2012 at 8:17 pm

If you're a college student and don't complain about the smell of sulfur, you're a chemistry major. Butyric acid will have you begging for something as pleasant as sulfur!

Biel_ze_Bubba July 26, 2012 at 3:13 am

Nah … what you really want is cadaverine.
(Then again, I was a chem major.)

glasspusher July 26, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Wooo…brutal. Stay away from the thiols and mercaptans, too, but of course, they have sulfur in them.Hydrogen telluride, I'm told, smells like rotten garlic.

Bezoar July 26, 2012 at 9:47 am

I think somebody farted in that dorm room and tried to blame it on the devil.

nobodyssweetheart July 25, 2012 at 8:21 pm

This '90s period piece was probably a breeze to costume since today's college Christian fellowships are still rife with pale-denim mom jeans for boys, Cosby sweaters and plastic hairbands. (The only unironic wears of such on campus.)

Aridzona July 25, 2012 at 8:24 pm

This was great! And hey, masturbating to a picture of Dan Quayle? Priceless. Yahoo images has some really good ones. Thwack, thwack, thwack, ooooooh Danny.

ttommyunger July 25, 2012 at 8:32 pm

Well, I've fucked a few Amy Grant's in my day. For some reason they seem to break out in baby talk after a screamer…..Really creeps me the fuck out.

BZ1 July 25, 2012 at 9:03 pm

I think the odor that Susan smelled may have been Bobby's obsequiousness

johnnyzhivago July 25, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Jindal seems more like a voo-doo guy.

iburl July 25, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Sorry, I had to pause it after seeing that erotic "DogMe 69" logo at the beginning.

fuflans July 25, 2012 at 9:34 pm

amateur theatricals.

UW8316154 July 25, 2012 at 10:03 pm

I kind of skipped through, but the fury and yelling and writhing on the floor that I did see only reminded me of Friday night fights with my ex.

I'll let you know about ivyleaguecoedgangbang.com in a minute, but I'm guessing that just going to remind me of another Saturday night in Lander Hall.

RadioBowels July 25, 2012 at 10:05 pm

So that's what happened to Kerry Kennedy.

RadioBowels July 25, 2012 at 10:22 pm

Update: Nope, she was fucked up on Ambien. http://www.lohud.com/article/20120725/NEWS/307250

Chet Kincaid July 25, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Alright, which one of you fuckers is Dogme 69?!

RadioBowels July 25, 2012 at 10:59 pm

I don't know if I can handle 67 more of those sulfurous farts!

iburl July 25, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Bobby Jindal knows all kindsa pimped out ways to act as a conduit for spiritual forces. Word. When he is Vice-President, just imagine the vast dank plumes of stanky queefage that will be exorcised from within the covens of communo-socialism that I'm told rule every aspect of our existence.

The downside is, that it could blot out the sun and lead to an extinction level climate event, but I'm sure Bobby and his special friends will be able to pray the clouds away. That is unless Utah Jesus has anything to say about it. Amen.

MittBorg July 25, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Dear fucking christ on a pogo stick, that was simply hideous. Which one of you said this would change my life? Fess up cuz I think I might want to make long pig.

HistoriCat July 25, 2012 at 11:33 pm

Four threads in four days.

MittBorg July 25, 2012 at 11:37 pm

OMG. You're WATCHING me.

HistoriCat July 25, 2012 at 11:51 pm

Sweetie – I'm reading your comments on a website. I remember things and make connections between them … it's what I do. Plus, I get bored at work so there's usually time to go back and see what the important commenters have added.

MittBorg July 25, 2012 at 11:56 pm

I CAN SEE YOU WATCHING ME.

bobbert July 25, 2012 at 11:44 pm

Whoever said it was probably possessed, so be sure to expel the demon(s) first.

MittBorg July 25, 2012 at 11:57 pm

Don't they taste better *with* demon(s)? You know, kinda like spice?

HistoriCat July 25, 2012 at 11:37 pm

"The power of Reagan compels you. The power of Reagan compels you!"

12X34X July 25, 2012 at 11:53 pm

I queef on this movie.

spinozasgod July 26, 2012 at 12:19 am

This one of mittens 3 short listed choices for veep? god queef us all.

bobbert July 26, 2012 at 1:22 am

God queefed on USmurka about 1980. and has been queefing it up ever since.

HogeyeGrex July 26, 2012 at 3:22 am

Aqua Buddha only gets you to the Senate.

Schmegeg July 26, 2012 at 12:26 am

Whatever you say, Georgetown has way better exorcisms.

helefink July 26, 2012 at 1:03 am

This is a masterful tribute to both Lars Von Trier and Bobby Jindal. Might Bjork have won an Academy Award had she been cast as Susan?

DerrickWildcat July 26, 2012 at 1:09 am

Having the Devil in you makes you funny.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 July 26, 2012 at 1:14 am

Here I thought wingnuts, especially teabaggers pretty much considered all people of a color different than pasty, peach, burnt orange and old nasty leather-skin to be secretly posessed by the devil…I guess Booby isn't aware of that quite yet.

Shadowmuffin July 26, 2012 at 1:28 am

What I love is the dude in the beattle wig who is playing little Bobby literally spends half of the video standing against the whiteboard clutching his pearls! Then he waits for a friend to come and walk him home so he won't have to go out alone. Apparently Lucifer keeps his balls in a little jar in his workshop of evil.

anniegetyerfun July 26, 2012 at 1:49 am

tl;dw

Mojopo July 26, 2012 at 2:06 am

Ten thumbs up for the guy who looks like he's about to shoot nurses from the clock tower, wearing a black wig made out of vinyl fibers. I don't know what's more wickedly crazy – Bobby's take on the incident or the screenplay and staging that makes Ed Wood look talented. And then he became governor. Unfreakingreal.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 26, 2012 at 3:24 am

The event they're re-creating so lamely? It was even more lame.

HogeyeGrex July 26, 2012 at 3:41 am

I desperately want to know if those "denunciations" are verbatim from Bobby's account, or are "artistic license."

I'm having a hard enough time trying to figure out if the whole thing is parody or not. It ain't easy these days.

CogitoErgoSumo July 26, 2012 at 6:21 am

Just so I get all the nuance, the huge guy is into midgets AND cockrings. OK I totally get it now. (BTW, cockrings; so 1994.)

DahBoner July 26, 2012 at 7:11 am

Do Ivy League schools accept any asshole that comes along?

IndianaKevin July 26, 2012 at 8:05 am

I thought Satan was a pussy in this. For the Dark Lord to acquiesce so easily just ain't like her.

Oblios_Cap July 26, 2012 at 9:17 am

So – the rival Xtian group saved the day? And what's his name has a small penis. Simply A-fuckin-mazing

sullivanst July 26, 2012 at 9:22 am

Susan punked those Godboys&girls good. "I queef on your bible", genius.

And pretty sure she was right about that being the closest that one guy would ever get to scoring.

Bezoar July 26, 2012 at 9:44 am

It was supposed to say "Freedom from religion", not "Freedom of religion".

smitallica July 26, 2012 at 10:44 am

Why I Became an Atheist, Reason #76,257,688,962,566,780.

smitallica July 26, 2012 at 10:47 am

Is this supposed to be funny? Please tell me this is supposed to be funny. Because this is the funniest fucking thing I have ever seen in my entire life.

guymartini26 July 26, 2012 at 12:34 pm

"You listen to '2 Live Crew' on your walkman!!"

You guys know who '2 Live Crew' is, right? No? Too obscure?

Now you remember. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgnUjvXdlz8

Baba_NinjaCat12 July 26, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Worst M. Night Shyamalan Movie Ever!

Could that sulfur smell came from the roommate fart or was it George W. Bush walking by? We may never know.

MittBorg July 26, 2012 at 12:20 am

(faints)
(revives)
Dudina! Next time, *warn* a body.

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