get thee behind him lucifer

The Devil Accuses Bobby Jindal Of Sinning In His Heart (And In His Hand) To Amy Grant

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Behold this dramatization of Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal’s account of the exorcism of a friend that he performed in college. This is just an excellent film, detailed and insightful about the spiritual warfare that aims to drive Lucifer from the bodies of our fellow humans.

It is better than any piece of filmmaking yet to include the trenchant declaration, “I queef on your Bible.”


About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    I wasn't aware that one could exorcise Dick Cheney. I guess he could use some aerobics.

    • Boojum

      Dude could use a ten mile run, uphill, in Atlanta in August.

      • Gleem McShineys

        Will the judges also accept "a downhill roll" if it included freeways?

        • MittBorg

          Only if they're *busy* freeways.

      • MittBorg

        Piker. He could do 20.

  • Fraudulently_Joe

    I sin in my hand pretty much daily. Long-distance relationships are tough that way.

    • Billmatic

      Reading this in Droopy Dog voice is one of the best things ever.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Does picking your nose qualify as sinning on your finger?

      • Vecchiojohn

        Only if you eat it, I think.

    • MittBorg

      I hope whenever you two get to see each other, you lock all the doors and windows, draw all the curtains, turn off all the phones, scream "Towanda!" at the top of your lungs and sin mightily for the first 24 hours together, at least.

      And not just because it would make the Republicans plotz.

  • Nostrildamus

    The "sulfer" bit was hilarious. I am 5 years old.

  • Extemporanus

    "There is nothing that keeps wicked men at any one moment out of hell, but the mere pleasure of God."

    – John Edwards, Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God



    • weejee

      Do like yer new avatar.

      • Extemporanus

        I owe it all to you, mon frère.

        • BoatOfVelociraptors

          Spoken like a true Ducreux.

    • Jukesgrrl

      "John" Edwards. Ha! P for giving me the first reason I've ever had to be glad I took History of Religion in America 201.

      • berkeleyfarm

        American Literature survey that began at the beginning, here. I second the "Ha!".

  • DrunkIrishman

    She wanted to vote, so obviously she must've been possessed by the devil.

  • Antispandex

    Dramatization? You mean it didn't really happen? It seemed so real!

  • weejee

    I queef on your Bible

    Holy tuna melt, Bobby has totally beat down the split pea soup.

  • Typodong3

    I tried watching but fell asleep at the typewriter part! What did I miss?

    • sewollef

      Jesus…. that'd be 11 minutes 32 seconds of my life I'd never get back. Ever.

      Can I afford it? What else could I be doing with those valuable minutes? Oh, that's right, I have a creative brief all-day meeting to attend. All day. For an insurance company.

      Y'know, some days, you're damned to hell if you do and damned to hell if you don't. Bugger.

      • HistoriCat

        You could really enliven that meeting if you re-enacted that video. Just a suggestion.

  • BlueStateLibel

    But does Bobbi Jindal have a ceremony to drive the stupid from Republicans' brains? Because that's what we really need.

    • Typodong3

      There has never been a priest ordained that could handle driving the stupid from the Republicans. Thats a whole nuther level of demonic.

  • smokefilledroomba

    Susan complained of smelling a sulfur like odor
    Was Susan smelling farts? Or Satan? And what if Satan farted?

    edit: I posted before I watched the whole thing. All of the above are true.

    • Fraudulently_Joe

      It's amazing how many of these supernatural/reglious experiences end up boiling down to moderate-to-severe brain damage.

      • smokefilledroomba

        Satan sometimes smells like burnt toast.. Just depends on what cologne he uses that day.

  • va_real

    So the devil popped out of her & into Booby Jindal, who has been a willing slave to Satan ever since. The end.

    • HistoriCat

      Too bad Bobby didn't follow Father Damian's lead when the devil entered him!

  • Billmatic

    A good queef would really spice that Bible up.

    • weejee

      Probly help when fishing for men. And some girlz, also too.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      I think you can find that in the condiments aisle at your grocer's.

      • Boojum

        We do not have the same grocer.

        • Dashboard Buddha

          :::waves hand:::These are not the deviled eggs you're looking for.—

    • BoatOfVelociraptors
    • DemmeFatale

      I just love the thought of having to explain "queef" to inquiring minds.

  • Nostrildamus

    Those Christian "support" meetings look awesome. I'm glad everyone there is free to purchase an assault rifle.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    I made it til almost 1:00, then I looked over to see the total time and said FUCK IT.

    By the way, if this was a 'horrendous exorcism', what's a 'good exorcism'?

    Anyway, The Hound is calling me.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Dude. Watch it. Watch every last second of it.

      Your life will never be the same.

      • Spurning Beer


    • iburl

      feel free to skip ahead until you see a lot of shaky cam and screaming.

    • MittBorg

      Thank you. Another undiscovered gem.

    • LionHeartSoyDog

      "Hell-hound On My Trail."

  • sbj1964

    Satan & Jesus are brothers just ask a Mormon Mittens.Demons/Corparations are people too my friend.

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Speaking of Mittens…I took my nephews to go see "the Dark Knight Rises" today and it occured to me that there are unintended similarities between Bane and Bain (spoiler alert!). There's a part where Bane attacks the 'Gotham Stock Exchange' (aka the Chicago Stock Exchange…oh I wish Santelli had been there to get beaten down and/or killed) in order to force Bruce Wayne to make a horrible trade liquidating all of his assets, at least temporarily so some rich dildo could take over Wayne Enterprises. Then Bane turned around and liquidated said rich dildo bodily when all didn't go as planned…and it got me to thinking. Bain has pretty much made a brand out of taking over and then forcibly liquidating unassuming companies after forcing them to go into debt. Then Bain turns around and sells whats left off and pockets pensions, etc…Viking capitalism so to speak. The big difference is in the film, Bane isn't as vilanous because everything he does is to accomplish a goal greater than money and Bain of course does this over and over out of simple greed and avarice. Interesting thought, though…and yes Bain is MUCH worse than Bane…nuke bomb and all (end spoiler).

  • smokefilledroomba

    What an attention whore, that Susan.

  • CheeseBro69

    Whats the big deal? We all know college is a time for experimentation.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    "Susan complained of smelling a sulfur like odor "

    Burritos: Satan's express ticket.

    • MittBorg

      Listen, burritos will give ANYBODY sulfurous farts. (waves hand around like mad)

      • Dashboard Buddha

        Sort of like, "Hey big fella…did you cavort with Satan or just get take out at South of the Border?"

        • MittBorg

          Sort of like, "Who cut the fucking LIMBURGHER, dood?"

          • viennawoods13

            Or should that be… Limbaugh?

          • MittBorg

            Dudina! Next time, *warn* a body.

  • smokefilledroomba

    Kevin's like, "I'm all into midgets!"

  • SayItWithWookies

    Wow — what some people have to make up in order to lie on top of a girl.

  • Tequila Mockingbird

    To be fair, everyone masturbated to Amy Grant back then.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Although I wouldn't give you a dollar for the rest of her oeuvre, there's something to be said for When the Lights are Coming on in the House of Love. Inspired by adultery instead of Jesus, so shit yeah. Don't watch the video, though, or you'll be spewing, too.

    • extreme_left

      still do

    • bflrtsplk

      I was still stuck on Donna Summer. Still am, come to think of it.

  • smokefilledroomba

    Noooo! Not 2Live Crew!!!

  • HempDogbane

    Mitt has also undergone an Ivy League exorcism !

  • ChernobylSoup

    I was at Brown around that time and I'm calling BS. No way there's a Christian Prayer Fellowship amongst the euro trash and Hollywood spawn on that campus.

    • Spurning Beer

      You're a Camp Bruno alumnus, too? That makes at least three of us, then, including Editor Kirstin, wherever she is these days.

      I was there back in the nineteen-tickities, and in my day there were a sprinkling of fervent fundamentalistas and even some Jews for Jesus around, but mostly keeping a low profile.

      Traditionalists like me stuck with acid and Korean Zen.

      • ChernobylSoup

        Late 90s for me and just for grad school, so I was once removed from the regular campus culture. But from what I saw Jindal must have been part of a very small clique indeed.

        • LionHeartSoyDog

          …and a very small dique indeed."

  • coolhandnuke

    Needz more Queefer Sutherland.

  • kittensdontlie

    Some head W-kette has mixed up videos/stories!! Bristle was casting devils out of the possessed Guido( who bears a likeness to BJindal) who was capable of speaking in tongues since the tongue wasn't otherwise occupied in a Palin love-quest..

  • mush2

    "…a rival campus christian group.." I didn't know there was a competition for the favors of the Lord. Does that involve the speaking in tongues challenge?

    • Boojum

      And a cross relay.

    • bobbert


    • Dashboard Buddha

      Glossolalia high jump

  • mavenmaven

    Was that intended to be a parody? Did that virtuous Asian girl actually show her boobs to a MAN?

    • Spurning Beer

      A fraternity man.

  • smokefilledroomba

    Eat My Farts Loser!!!
    That was one of the best things I've seen in a long time.

    • Maman


    • RadioBowels

      Well that would explain the sulfurous odor.

  • rickmaci

    When I was in college I briefly had a girlfriend who would carry on and get all raving insane if I came before she did. Oh the shit that erupted from her mouth when she was enraged, just like Susan. The last time that happened I really thought she was about to start levitating off the bed. I heard recently, she had some legal problem involving her husband and is now doing 25 to life somewhere in California. I did not become the governor of anything.

    • Extemporanus

      ♫♬ Oh come, all ye faithful…" ♫♬

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        But if Faith is full, where … Oh.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Well, of course Bobby Jindal went to BROWN University.


  • smokefilledroomba

    Susan converted to Catholicism. Bobby Jindal is the Governor of Louisiana.
    Great ending there.

    • bobbert

      Everyone else was run over by a truck.

  • sbj1964

    Every Time I think the right wing GOP party of God has said,
    or done something stupid they raise the bar by putting a Mormon cult member up for President.Who has held almost the same opinion on politics as Obama.Until the GOP told him what he really stands for.Amazing!

  • nobodyssweetheart

    Masterful acting from Tanorexic Emo Phillips as the young Jindal

    • MittBorg

      Somebody needs to talk to Casting. Couldn't they find a single fucking Indian to play that loser Piyush Jindal? Not only did they get themselves a shada-samra, but they painted him so bad it's scary.

      • commiegirl99

        Yeah, I really didn't know what to say about the brownface, so I pretended I didn't see. Is that wrong?

        • MittBorg

          Nah. I know you taught PoliSci in CA, so it's good.

          But srsly, dudina, is that sad or what? I mean, they've got like that Kal Penn dood and that Asif Mandvi dood, and fuck, Bollywood's even bigger than Hollywood, and there's even that gorgeous Jimi Mistri.

          They had to give us this fucking panwallah from the streets of Peoria, no less.

          • HistoriCat

            Maybe someone was trying to slip in a very subtle statement about Bobby Jindal. Hmmm.

        • LionHeartSoyDog

          Well, it is a colored school, so it can't be too wrong.

      • nobodyssweetheart

        He also is nowhere near college age. That's a hard, haggard 18 year old.

        Or Jindal has Benjamin Button syndrome in addition to everything else wrong with him.

  • ManchuCandidate

    The devil went down to Brown U. He was lookin' for a soul to steal. He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind, and he was willin' to make a deal, when he came across this young man talking' to a lady and getting' her hot.

    And the devil jumped up on a hickory stump and said, "Boy, let me tell you what. I guess you didn't know it but I'm a humping demon, too. And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you. Now, you have some good Xtian game, boy, but give the devil his due. I'll encase your virginity in gold against you screwing her, 'cause I think I'm better than you."

    The boy said, "My name's Bobby, and it might be a sin. But I'll take your bet, you're gonna regret, 'cause I'm the first brown exorcist anyone's seen."

    Johnny, lube up your brow and wave your cross hard, 'cause hell's broke loose in the Ivy League and the devil deals the cards. And if you win you get to keep your virginity encased in gold. But if you lose, the devil will make you screw.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      "He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind"

      OT. Am I the only one who thinks this makes Satan look like a used car salesman, and Sal, the owner of Honest Sal's Pre-Owned Cars is jumping in his shit because he didn't make quota this month.

      Hold on here…he'd the fucking devil. Who dictates quotas to the devil?

      • LetUsBray

        Half-remembered joke: A guy walks into a restaurant and up to a table set for three. The devil is sitting at one place, and the guy sits at another. The devil says, "Look, man, Cheney couldn't make it." The guy says, "See here, I talk to your boss or no one!"

        I'm sure the joke would make more sense/be funnier if I knew who the guy was. But even so I once told it to a class and was treated to half the kids whispering to the other half, "He's saying Dick Cheney is the devil's boss."

  • MiniMencken

    They were saying "queef" at Brown in 1994? No wonder the admissions office is deluged with applications. Go Bears!

    • Spurning Beer

      In 1994, you could major in Queef Studies at Brown.

  • deanbooth

    I smell elderberries.

    • glasspusher

      Are you suggesting my father was there?

  • rickmaci

    In the video Bobby seems a little, well let's be blunt, chicken. Stays way far out of the picture during most of the real action. I mean, how you gonna stand up to the Red Chinese if you can't stand up to exorcise a queefing coed possessed by Satan?

  • Neoyorquino

    I remember my first beer, too.

    • extreme_left

      some people just don't make it through

  • fawkedifiknow

    I really really really hope that other religious fruitcake – Romney – picks this Jindal guy. It would be better than McCain and Palin, I guarantee. The two of them make Huckabee appear sane, and his Jebus fixation is pretty ridiculous on it's own merits.

  • Self-Uploader

    There was a point at which participating in these shenanigans would have destroyed Jindal's chance for higher office. Unfortunately, we are past that point.

  • Callyson

    Made it to 1:02–is that supposed to be background music?

    I think I need an exorcism of sorts after that

    (…rushing off to the liquor store…)

    • PubOption

      I gave up at about the same point. I couldn't understand what the Christian group were mumbling.

    • MittBorg

      Yeah, I had to load up the vape hugely to get through this.

      Fuckin' awful.

  • poorgradstudent

    Oh why didn't I think of something like this to troll my alma mater's chapter of Campus Crusaders for Christ?

  • extreme_left

    so satan is mexican?

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Too bad Sammy Davis Jr isn't around anymore. He'd make a good Bobby Jindal.

    • MittBorg

      Damn sight better thank this one.

  • Goonemeritus

    Does anyone else think Susan’s small penis crack was likely made to Bobby? I personally don’t blame him for switching things up but let’s face it he kind of has that hung like a hamster look.

    • Madam Killjoy

      Goonemeritus, I didn't watch the video but I up-fisted you anyway. Because I had a FREE LUNCH from Rossi's today, and that makes me fisty (in a good, thumbs up, not throat-punching way; or the dirty way it sounds, whatever you prefer).

      • Goonemeritus

        Why postpone Joy, with the world growing more and more irrational sometimes I think that it is only places like Rossi’s that affirm humanities goodness.

        • Madam Killjoy

          The little things that make life worth living.* They close for August and go to Italy, which is also closed for August. Which just seems like a damned good idea, but whadda I know, flower child hippie commie loser that I am?

          *Chicken parm, in vodka sauce. Yes.

          • LetUsBray

            Glad you're not referring to Piyush's schlong.

          • Goonemeritus

            Hell I would settle for mortadella on semolina bread. I live in Western NY in a very rural area, it’s beautiful but you can’t even buy a tolerable buttered roll much less a sandwich.

  • Fare la Volpe

    Who knew that demonic possession was just the result of really bad Irritable Bowel Syndrome?

  • Nopantsmcgee

    When do the kids and Bill Murray get Slimer?

  • Nopantsmcgee

    Background music by SuperNintendo.

    • glasspusher

      John Williams was busy/is overrated

    • Jennyjen798
    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Hey man, The snes had a pretty badass sound chip for its day. Compare the street fighter 2 ports for both genesis and snes.

  • HarryButtle

    I've got 10 minutes to kill…do I clickee this linkee and watch the dramatization of Bobby Jindal chasing demons out of a cute coed, or do I visit and watch a cute coed chasing cumshots out of a few dozen large cocks?

    • glasspusher

      Thanks for posing that question. Excuse me, I have to do a little…comparison…

    • Mittens Howell, III

      Watch the porn with the sound down while listening to the exorcism as a fapping soundtrack.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Is this demon possession day here at the Wonkette or something?

  • docterry6973

    Hey, I'm as big a demon as the next guy but I'm not going to queef on anyone's Bible. Live and let live, I say.

  • Boojum

    It is amazing how many of these young Christians were just eaten up with the sexual issues. Like all of them.

    And by "amazing", I mean "completely to be expected".

    • iburl

      The production company is called "DogMe 69" so, yeah.

  • Swampgas_Man

    But can Bobby chase the Debbil out of K-Lo?

  • Sassomatic

    According to that guy in the glasses, God speaks Honda.

    • DahBoner

      Does God also do Toyotas? Got a wiring problem, hello God????

  • chascates

    Speak in tongues or GTFO!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Dude, did the chick have, like, 8 arms? Because if so you might have pissed off your grandparents' god really bad.

  • CheeseBro69

    Let he who hath not exorcised a devil in college cast the first stone.

  • Chow Yun Flat

    Best movie since Forest Hump.

    • Schmegeg

      But worst ever Community episode.

    • Callyson

      What, no love for Nailin' Palin?

  • glasspusher

    If you're a college student and don't complain about the smell of sulfur, you're a chemistry major. Butyric acid will have you begging for something as pleasant as sulfur!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Nah … what you really want is cadaverine.
      (Then again, I was a chem major.)

      • glasspusher

        Wooo…brutal. Stay away from the thiols and mercaptans, too, but of course, they have sulfur in them.Hydrogen telluride, I'm told, smells like rotten garlic.

    • Bezoar

      I think somebody farted in that dorm room and tried to blame it on the devil.

  • nobodyssweetheart

    This '90s period piece was probably a breeze to costume since today's college Christian fellowships are still rife with pale-denim mom jeans for boys, Cosby sweaters and plastic hairbands. (The only unironic wears of such on campus.)

  • Aridzona

    This was great! And hey, masturbating to a picture of Dan Quayle? Priceless. Yahoo images has some really good ones. Thwack, thwack, thwack, ooooooh Danny.

  • ttommyunger

    Well, I've fucked a few Amy Grant's in my day. For some reason they seem to break out in baby talk after a screamer…..Really creeps me the fuck out.

  • BZ1

    I think the odor that Susan smelled may have been Bobby's obsequiousness

  • johnnyzhivago

    Jindal seems more like a voo-doo guy.

  • iburl

    Sorry, I had to pause it after seeing that erotic "DogMe 69" logo at the beginning.

  • fuflans

    amateur theatricals.

  • UW8316154

    I kind of skipped through, but the fury and yelling and writhing on the floor that I did see only reminded me of Friday night fights with my ex.

    I'll let you know about in a minute, but I'm guessing that just going to remind me of another Saturday night in Lander Hall.

  • RadioBowels

    So that's what happened to Kerry Kennedy.

  • Chet Kincaid

    Alright, which one of you fuckers is Dogme 69?!

    • RadioBowels

      I don't know if I can handle 67 more of those sulfurous farts!

  • iburl

    Bobby Jindal knows all kindsa pimped out ways to act as a conduit for spiritual forces. Word. When he is Vice-President, just imagine the vast dank plumes of stanky queefage that will be exorcised from within the covens of communo-socialism that I'm told rule every aspect of our existence.

    The downside is, that it could blot out the sun and lead to an extinction level climate event, but I'm sure Bobby and his special friends will be able to pray the clouds away. That is unless Utah Jesus has anything to say about it. Amen.

  • MittBorg

    Dear fucking christ on a pogo stick, that was simply hideous. Which one of you said this would change my life? Fess up cuz I think I might want to make long pig.

    • HistoriCat

      Four threads in four days.

      • MittBorg

        OMG. You're WATCHING me.

        • HistoriCat

          Sweetie – I'm reading your comments on a website. I remember things and make connections between them … it's what I do. Plus, I get bored at work so there's usually time to go back and see what the important commenters have added.

          • MittBorg


    • bobbert

      Whoever said it was probably possessed, so be sure to expel the demon(s) first.

      • MittBorg

        Don't they taste better *with* demon(s)? You know, kinda like spice?

  • HistoriCat

    "The power of Reagan compels you. The power of Reagan compels you!"

  • 12X34X

    I queef on this movie.

  • spinozasgod

    This one of mittens 3 short listed choices for veep? god queef us all.

    • bobbert

      God queefed on USmurka about 1980. and has been queefing it up ever since.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Aqua Buddha only gets you to the Senate.

  • Schmegeg

    Whatever you say, Georgetown has way better exorcisms.

  • helefink

    This is a masterful tribute to both Lars Von Trier and Bobby Jindal. Might Bjork have won an Academy Award had she been cast as Susan?

  • DerrickWildcat

    Having the Devil in you makes you funny.

  • Willardbot9000_V2.5

    Here I thought wingnuts, especially teabaggers pretty much considered all people of a color different than pasty, peach, burnt orange and old nasty leather-skin to be secretly posessed by the devil…I guess Booby isn't aware of that quite yet.

  • Shadowmuffin

    What I love is the dude in the beattle wig who is playing little Bobby literally spends half of the video standing against the whiteboard clutching his pearls! Then he waits for a friend to come and walk him home so he won't have to go out alone. Apparently Lucifer keeps his balls in a little jar in his workshop of evil.

  • anniegetyerfun


  • Mojopo

    Ten thumbs up for the guy who looks like he's about to shoot nurses from the clock tower, wearing a black wig made out of vinyl fibers. I don't know what's more wickedly crazy – Bobby's take on the incident or the screenplay and staging that makes Ed Wood look talented. And then he became governor. Unfreakingreal.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    The event they're re-creating so lamely? It was even more lame.

  • HogeyeGrex

    I desperately want to know if those "denunciations" are verbatim from Bobby's account, or are "artistic license."

    I'm having a hard enough time trying to figure out if the whole thing is parody or not. It ain't easy these days.

  • CogitoErgoSumo

    Just so I get all the nuance, the huge guy is into midgets AND cockrings. OK I totally get it now. (BTW, cockrings; so 1994.)

  • DahBoner

    Do Ivy League schools accept any asshole that comes along?

  • IndianaKevin

    I thought Satan was a pussy in this. For the Dark Lord to acquiesce so easily just ain't like her.

  • Oblios_Cap

    So – the rival Xtian group saved the day? And what's his name has a small penis. Simply A-fuckin-mazing

  • sullivanst

    Susan punked those Godboys&girls good. "I queef on your bible", genius.

    And pretty sure she was right about that being the closest that one guy would ever get to scoring.

  • Bezoar

    It was supposed to say "Freedom from religion", not "Freedom of religion".

  • smitallica

    Why I Became an Atheist, Reason #76,257,688,962,566,780.

  • smitallica

    Is this supposed to be funny? Please tell me this is supposed to be funny. Because this is the funniest fucking thing I have ever seen in my entire life.

  • guymartini26

    "You listen to '2 Live Crew' on your walkman!!"

    You guys know who '2 Live Crew' is, right? No? Too obscure?

    Now you remember.

  • Baba_NinjaCat12

    Worst M. Night Shyamalan Movie Ever!

    Could that sulfur smell came from the roommate fart or was it George W. Bush walking by? We may never know.