Politicians From America’s Weirdo Unattached States Form Unholy Alliance

  beyond the sea

TLAThere has often emerged from the American electorate a sort of vague, inchoate idea that more “bipartisanship” is needed in our politics. Elitists who are heavily connected to the financial services industry but are cool with abortion and gay people think, completely incorrectly, that this indicates that there’s room for some sort of middle ground third-party, when it probably actually just means that people want Congress to not treat every little vote about trade policy or whatever like it’s the debate over the Fugitive Slave Act, and at least pretend to be nice to each other. Sadly, the only elected officials still capable of doing this come from the dispersed American Pacific Empire, as we can see in a new ad in which a Republican congressman from Alaska endorses a Democratic congresslady for Hawaii, for Senate. What terrible debts are being repaid over the course of this low-budget 90-second ad?

Aww, look how cute it is, these two getting along!

Isn’t it cute how Alaska Republican Don Young literally spends the entire ad begging to be allowed to call Nancy Pelosi a rude name? WONKETTE GUESSING GAME: Does this name start with “b” or “c”? You be the judge! The Washington Post “She The People” politics ladyblog calls it “refreshing,” so we know it’s all in fun.

Anyhoo, Mazie Hirono (D) is still running in her primary for Hawaii’s open Senate seat this year against Ed Case, who’s actually more of a centrist than she is. Former Hawaii Governor Linda Lingle is unopposed for the Republican nomination, and the Republicans think this is a good opportunity to pick up a seat, which means that someone must have pissed off Don Young pretty bad to get him to do this. Probably something about the education for native Hawaiians and Alaskans they mention in the ad, which sounds exactly like the sort of reverse racism that the brave heroes of the Republican caucus have sworn to defeat.

Anyway, let’s see what America’s most thoughtful political commentators, the people who post comments on YouTube, think of this outbreak of bipartisanship:

Statist alkie troll! That's the name of our new rap-metal band

We all of course knew that Hawaii wasn’t really part of America, but it’s just sad to see Sarah Palin’s Alaska joining it, in hell. Enjoy quietly seceding from the union and pressing on with your trans-Pacific lovefest, losers! [WP]

Share This
Related video

About the author

Josh was born and raised in Buffalo, New York, leaving him with a love of chicken wings and a tendency to say “pop”. He taught ancient Greek and Roman history to undergraduates before fleeing from academia in terror; worked for a failed San Francisco dot-com that neglected to supply him with stock options or an Aeron chair; lived in Berlin, where he mostly ate Indian and Ethiopian food; finished in third place on his sole Jeopardy! appearance (the correct answer was “Golda Meir”); and was named 2007 Blogger of the Year by The Week, for obvious reasons. Josh is the creator/editor of COMICS CURMUDGEON (which you should read) and does geeky editing and writing about geeky things such as "the Java programming industry for JavaWorld." He lives in Baltimore with his wife Amber and his cat Hoagie.

View all articles by Josh Fruhlinger