Romney Hates Olympic Athletes in Addition to Poors, Blinds, Gays, and Welfare Moms

  you didn't build that

mitt romney dog loverYou are never going to BELIEVE what Mitt Romney hates! Besides puppies, moms, and chocolate donuts. And blind people. And people who might be gay. And (very) Poors. Oh and taxes. But you’re doing great so keep guessing! Have you guessed yet? Olympic athletes! It’s Olympic athletes. See, after Obama pointed out that businesspeople relied on a combination of individual entrepreneurship, community support, and functional infrastructure, Romney took his remarks entirely out of context (shocking), informing small business owners that the president thinks that “they didn’t build that.” Well, guess everyone will just have to suck it.

Speaking back in 2002 in Salt Lake City,  Romney said one of the many statements that he would probably want to take back, if he had any integrity, that is, which he doesn’t.

“You Olympians, however, know you didn’t get here solely on your own power. For most of you, loving parents, sisters or brothers encouraged your hopes,” he said after praising the competitors in footage unearthed by NBC News. “Coaches guided, communities built venues in order to organize competitions. All Olympians stand on the shoulders of those who lifted them. We’ve already cheered the Olympians, let’s also cheer the parents, coaches and communities.”

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How’s that Etch-a-sketch going, Mitt? Maybe we should cheer that next.

[Via NBC]

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About the author

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson

View all articles by Kris E. Benson

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186 comments

  1. SorosBot

    He forgot to mention the steroid suppliers; no athlete could get very far without their help.

    1. Dr_pangloss

      Thanks especially to big Pharma for making legal steroids for our athletes to use, until next year then we can make that partiucular type of steriod illegal and make a new batch.

      1. SorosBot

        And then there's whoever makes the drugs for gymnasts that stop them from reaching puberty until they hit 18 or 19. That just ain't natural.

        1. BerkeleyBear

          It has to do with low body fat in women, plus genetics, creating a low level of hormones from what I know. But a lot of them do hit puberty at 15 or 16, and immediately are disqualified from Olympic consideration. Seriously, sports where you are washed up by college suck.

    1. hagajim

      Hey – Kobe couldn't be an Olympian without the ass of that girl in Colorado whom he had "consensual" sex with.

    1. justkillmenow

      I would like to participate in curling. It looks like you could drink beer while doing that. Like bowling, Only with ice.

    2. thatsitfortheother1

      I think I might excell in sports such as Washing the Car, and Lawn Mowing perhaps.

    3. actor212

      I want to enter the Olympic figure fapping competition.

      That's where skaters come out in skimpy costumes and, well….you get the idea.

  2. eggsacklywright

    The Olympics have degenerated into one big commercial for VISA and McDonalds. But at least it gives the young folks an opportunity to fuck, so it's all good.

  3. TavariousChinaSmith

    To be fair, some of his best friends own companies that sponsor the Olympics.

    1. weejee

      And the Olympics own the athletes, just like the bidnesses that own them also own their slaves drones workers. Amitrite?

  4. Pragmatist2

    Great athletes do make it without government help! You can't get steroids at the Post Office.

    1. succalina

      But James Holmes can get 3K rounds of bullets delivered to his door from Mr. Zip Code himself.

  5. eggsacklywright

    His Radiatorship (that's what they call bishops in the Moron Church of money) is merely trying to maintain cordial interplanetary relations, like in Forbidden Planet.

  6. chascates

    He didn't build Bain on his own either, his dad's money was a big help. He did managed to destroy a hell of a lot of jobs in other companies though so there's that.

    1. hagajim

      But Bain, unlike some businesses, didn't need any government infrastructure to function…oh wait, that banking system thing….didn't the gubmint sorta create that? Nevermind.

  7. lunchbox360

    But what I hate most of all is everything I have ever said in public in my entire life before right now.

  8. noodlesalad

    I just picture him swimming in a vault full of the gold and silver medals a la uncle Scrooge. Credit to him for actually handing out the medals without charging a handling fee or interest on the precious metals.

  9. PuckStopsHere

    Of course they didn't do it by themselves in SLC. Mitt got half a billion federal tax dollars to "save" the Olympics that year.

  10. ph7

    All Olympians stand on the shoulders of those who lifted them.

    Glad I don't support any Sumo wrestlers.

  11. spends2much

    Shouldn't corporations (people, after all) get down on the ground and compete as well? Let's see how Michael Phelps does against Halliburton (they just give all the judges money and pick up their gold medals without getting wet).

      1. BoatOfVelociraptors

        Twist those knobs! TWIST THOSE KNOBS! Now shake, SHAAKE, SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE.

  12. badseeds

    Hmmm. We didn't hear anything about this from Mitt after he crushed in the Romney Games this summer up here in Wolfeboro.

  13. miss_grundy

    What a moron! But I do love the picture that you have of him. But the man is a poopy-head and his followers do love him. Blech!

    1. thatsitfortheother1

      BMW, MBA
      Vote Republican, election day.
      He's white, he's white
      And when he walks his bvttocks are extremely tight.

  14. actor212

    I pity the poor gay blind tax who crosses Romney's path in a chocolate donut shop. He might jump him and give him a hair cut.

  15. Biff

    When I was reading this HuffyPo article about Barry's new attack ad against RomBot 1000, my eye was drawn to this other story about Sally Ride having the gay! No wonder she ignored my impassioned crush letters, for fuck's sake!

    1. Dashboard Buddha

      Ha…one up on you! After I sent her my 'ride this rocket' crush letter, I got a protection order.

      1. SorosBot

        Since we've been allowing lesbians in space, what's next, an openly gay Star Trek character? (Well Jadzia Dax was apparently bi, but she's it).

        1. AbandonHope

          Andrew Robinson says that he originally played Garak as omnisexual — hence his initial fascination with Doctor Bashir — but scaled it back when he felt it wasn't really working. Or maybe it was the writers objecting or something — I don't remember exactly.

          1. SorosBot

            I actually forgot about that; but since Garak was only ever involved with Gul Dukat's daughter on screen, there is no direct confirmation he was anything other than straight.

      2. Biff

        Certainly not the first big ol' gay lesbian I had the scorchies for, and probably won't be the last. That's my curse, falling in love with a person's mind first.

        1. Fraudulently_Joe

          Also, too, guilty, as mentioned previously in other comments here.

          A little too young to have had a crush on Dr. Ride, mind you; but growing up, her space flight was generally considered the only notable thing about the year I was born.

      3. BoatOfVelociraptors

        Gays. In. SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

        Well, that's one way to make the phrase "number one, engage" into an entendre.

        1. WunkRocker

          Ironically Romnoid was praising Sally Ride out of one orifice while slighting the GHEYZ with the other. Not sure which hole which came out of. It's one of the sphincters.

  16. EatsBabyDingos

    While drinking his Diet Coke and eating his Granny Smith, Mitt began preaching to the Moron Tab and Apple choir.

    1. kittensdontlie

      His "chocolate goodie" is the common man's treat, he grew up on eclairs and other fancified puff pastries.

  17. LesBontemps

    "You Olympians, however, know you didn’t get here solely on your own power."

    Of course not; dancing horses fly first class.

  18. MozakiBlocks

    Coming soon to an Obama commercial near you. Somewhere David Axelrod is laughing his ass off.

    1. WunkRocker

      Also Penna sucks. He shits on their bakery and they laugh it off. Because you know, the Preezy is a blah.

      1. Geminisunmars

        I'm waiting for the report that says he attempted to connect with his audience with an opening joke: "How many Poles does it take to change a lightbulb?"

          1. Geminisunmars

            Hey, I am way too PC to give that punch line.On the other hand: How many republicants does it take to screw in a light bulb? “Eleven, one to hold the bulb, and ten to turn the ladder.”

  19. eggsacklywright

    To be fair, the women's track events are quite scintillating for a person of my proclivities.

    1. actor212

      Women's beach volleyball: briefer costumes, even moar grunting than tennis and all that rolling in the sand hugging and kissing after winning medals.

      1. eggsacklywright

        I actually prefer the indoor women's volleyball. The tallness. The slenderness. It undoes me.

        1. SayItWithWookies

          It speaks to our misplaced priorities as a nation that team (i.e. not beach) women's volleyball is not our national sport.

  20. Goonemeritus

    What a collectivist asshole thank God there is still time to make Ron Paul the nominee.

    1. WunkRocker

      He promised to buy her Scotland so she could do some golfing next week. Suckit whore diamond mongerers.

  21. BaldarTFlagass

    I had an Etch-a-Sketch when I was wee. Damn, I could have been cut from presidential timber too!

  22. UnholyMoses

    Mitt should have outsourced his run for Prez.

    I'm sure the Chinese would've charged the Koch Bros. just a tenth of that $400 million.

    1. thatsitfortheother1

      He's offshoring it in the next couple days, I believe.

      Would be funny if the Polish PM said something like "No way, dude. You svck."

      1. LesBontemps

        I hope he's sending it out to those Taiwanese animators. That would be an awesome campaign.

  23. Come here a minute

    Mitt Romney also hates that the gold medal goes to the fastest runner, not the highest bidder.

  24. Serolf_Divad

    Athletes have a very high representation of teh blahs, so they clearly had a lot of help along the way. But Ayn Randian hero captains of industry owe their success to no one, and if anything, everyone else in the world just got in the way.

  25. James Michael Curley

    Laff of the Day!

    "Rules Committee spokesman Doug Andres said GOP members “hope to fix the error by unanimous consent, and we hope the Democrats will cooperate with us.”

    Politico

    1. HistoriCat

      Are we sure that's a typo? Because I'm pretty sure the Republicans are trying to get the employment rate down to 6%.

  26. docterry6973

    'All athletes stand on the shoulders of those who lifted them'? 'Thanks to the communities'? Who is this guy? Joe Stalin?

    Of course, the dancing horse riders are the exceptions, being rich and white. Weren't the the dancing horses the most important athletes in the ancient Greek Olympics?

    1. eggsacklywright

      Yes, and the ancient Geeks did invent bull-vaulting, also. Was it the Spartans from Crete or the Cretins from Sparta? I can never keep them straight.

  27. OneYieldRegular

    What is it with this guy and parents? He can't stop talking about everything a person's parents are going to do for them. Wasn't it just a month ago he was encouraging kids to get their parents to chip in $20K to help launch a start-up?

    I'd say he hates orphans too.

  28. BTWBFDIMHO

    An comprehensive list of hated Olympian personalities should included Bob Costas as well.

  29. BTWBFDIMHO

    “You Olympians, however, know you didn’t get here solely on your own power".

    He's obviously referring to Olympia Dukakis, a notorious welfare queen.

  30. SayItWithWookies

    Just keep in mind that anyone quoting Mitt in the past to contrast with his current statements is a complete liar.

    1. kittensdontlie

      When you combine his past statements(his lies) with his current statements(his truths) by simple addition, cancel each other exactly, leaving Mitten as a ZERO.

  31. mavenmaven

    There's a difference between businesses and athletes to a Romney, in that the athletes are simply commodities to be exploited for profit.

  32. hagajim

    Mitt needs to enter the Olympics in the backstroke, because he seems pretty damn good at backstroking away from all of his previous "closely" held beliefs.

  33. poorgradstudent

    I'd have totally understood if Mittens said he hated Olympic athletes because "Days of our Lives" is being preempted for two whole weeks.

Comments are closed.