mitt romney dog loverYou are never going to BELIEVE what Mitt Romney hates! Besides puppies, moms, and chocolate donuts. And blind people. And people who might be gay. And (very) Poors. Oh and taxes. But you’re doing great so keep guessing! Have you guessed yet? Olympic athletes! It’s Olympic athletes. See, after Obama pointed out that businesspeople relied on a combination of individual entrepreneurship, community support, and functional infrastructure, Romney took his remarks entirely out of context (shocking), informing small business owners that the president thinks that “they didn’t build that.” Well, guess everyone will just have to suck it.

Speaking back in 2002 in Salt Lake City,  Romney said one of the many statements that he would probably want to take back, if he had any integrity, that is, which he doesn’t.

“You Olympians, however, know you didn’t get here solely on your own power. For most of you, loving parents, sisters or brothers encouraged your hopes,” he said after praising the competitors in footage unearthed by NBC News. “Coaches guided, communities built venues in order to organize competitions. All Olympians stand on the shoulders of those who lifted them. We’ve already cheered the Olympians, let’s also cheer the parents, coaches and communities.”

How’s that Etch-a-sketch going, Mitt? Maybe we should cheer that next.

[Via NBC]

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  • SorosBot

    He forgot to mention the steroid suppliers; no athlete could get very far without their help.

    • Ruhe

      God Bless BALCO!

    • Thanks especially to big Pharma for making legal steroids for our athletes to use, until next year then we can make that partiucular type of steriod illegal and make a new batch.

      • SorosBot

        And then there's whoever makes the drugs for gymnasts that stop them from reaching puberty until they hit 18 or 19. That just ain't natural.

        • BerkeleyBear

          It has to do with low body fat in women, plus genetics, creating a low level of hormones from what I know. But a lot of them do hit puberty at 15 or 16, and immediately are disqualified from Olympic consideration. Seriously, sports where you are washed up by college suck.

    • How uniquely American (also European, Asian, South American, and African)

    • Terry

      And Chinese sweatshop workers sewing their uniforms.

  • PubOption

    Is it news that Mitt looks spineless, compared to a jellyfish?

  • Baconzgood

    Hate is people too my friend.

  • I hate Kobe Bryant as an Olympian.

    • Tell him that. He might buy you a big honking diamond out of guilt.

    • Vecchiojohn

      All Lakers are evil.


        Also, Kareem Abdul Jabbar. Too.


        • Vecchiojohn

          Wilt, West and all the rest. Evil, I tells ya!

    • hagajim

      Hey – Kobe couldn't be an Olympian without the ass of that girl in Colorado whom he had "consensual" sex with.

    • Callyson

      You had me at "I hate Kobe Bryant."

  • I would like to be in the Olympics. I am good at running and jumping and climbing trees. So I would probably do best in those kind of events.

    • noodlesalad

      He got a silver medal in the varmint biathalon.

    • justkillmenow

      I would like to participate in curling. It looks like you could drink beer while doing that. Like bowling, Only with ice.

      • James Michael Curley

        Beer with ice? Pass.

      • viennawoods13

        And why do you think Canadians love it so much?

    • thatsitfortheother1

      I think I might excell in sports such as Washing the Car, and Lawn Mowing perhaps.

      • Geminisunmars

        Tractor Lawn Mowing, fer shures. Holding a beer.

    • Mitt should enter the javelin catching competition.

      • thatsitfortheother1

        You think he's a catcher?

        • eggsacklywright

          He's certainly not a butler.

          • thatsitfortheother1

            Not much of a citizen either, IMHO.

        • No.

          Which was sort of what I was hoping for.

          • thatsitfortheother1

            OK, now I have coffee in my nose.

    • LesBontemps

      Is there an Olympic competition in lounging? Because I could win gold in that.

    • SorosBot

      Back in college, I had the skill to be the Olympic Mario Kart champion.

    • i would totally enter the hangover competition.

      especially today.

    • I want to enter the Olympic figure fapping competition.

      That's where skaters come out in skimpy costumes and, well….you get the idea.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      I know I could take a medal in reloading Wonkette.

      F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5

    • lulzmonger

      I'm already signed up for the 1000-meter Porn Downloading & the Fapathon.

  • IncenseDebate

    Mitt is waiting for the robot olympics.

    • Biff

      When he loses, he will say "bite my shiny metal ass".

      • thatsitfortheother1

        Or "svck my nanotube."

  • eggsacklywright

    The Olympics have degenerated into one big commercial for VISA and McDonalds. But at least it gives the young folks an opportunity to fuck, so it's all good.

    • SorosBot

      Degenerated? Where they ever anything but a giant commercial?

      • eggsacklywright

        Yeah, you're right. Maybe starting in 1936?

        • Studebaker Hawk

          Jesse Owens libel!

      • There are many touching stories about how terrible the lives of the U.S. Athletes were before they learned how to Ride Horses.

        • Biff

          Horsey Prom!

    • As someone who used to date an Olympian, I have to agree with your last statement there.

      • I bet you had sponsors for every stroke.

      • thatsitfortheother1

        The 440 relays?

  • TavariousChinaSmith

    To be fair, some of his best friends own companies that sponsor the Olympics.

    • And the Olympics own the athletes, just like the bidnesses that own them also own their slaves drones workers. Amitrite?

  • Pragmatist2

    Great athletes do make it without government help! You can't get steroids at the Post Office.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      Not since they dropped their cycling team

    • hagajim

      Is that why they're representing the US of Visa? (or is it MasterCard, I forget)

    • succalina

      But James Holmes can get 3K rounds of bullets delivered to his door from Mr. Zip Code himself.

  • If "Olympians stand on the shoulders of those who lifted them," they're no longer just the right height. Q.E.D.

    • MozakiBlocks

      It's sad that this made absolutely perfect sense to me.

    • ibwilliamsi


  • eggsacklywright

    His Radiatorship (that's what they call bishops in the Moron Church of money) is merely trying to maintain cordial interplanetary relations, like in Forbidden Planet.

  • chascates

    He didn't build Bain on his own either, his dad's money was a big help. He did managed to destroy a hell of a lot of jobs in other companies though so there's that.

    • hagajim

      But Bain, unlike some businesses, didn't need any government infrastructure to function…oh wait, that banking system thing….didn't the gubmint sorta create that? Nevermind.

  • lunchbox360

    But what I hate most of all is everything I have ever said in public in my entire life before right now.

  • noodlesalad

    I just picture him swimming in a vault full of the gold and silver medals a la uncle Scrooge. Credit to him for actually handing out the medals without charging a handling fee or interest on the precious metals.

  • PuckStopsHere

    Of course they didn't do it by themselves in SLC. Mitt got half a billion federal tax dollars to "save" the Olympics that year.

    • Actually, 1.5 Billion but who is counting?

      • PuckStopsHere

        Nobody. That's who's counting, nobody.

  • ph7

    All Olympians stand on the shoulders of those who lifted them.

    Glad I don't support any Sumo wrestlers.

    • Teeny, tiny gymnasts for me, thanks.

      • thatsitfortheother1

        Struggling mightily to keep your gaze from drifting upward…

  • spends2much

    Shouldn't corporations (people, after all) get down on the ground and compete as well? Let's see how Michael Phelps does against Halliburton (they just give all the judges money and pick up their gold medals without getting wet).

  • tihond

    It takes a village to build an etch-a-sketch.

    • And some steroids, also too.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors


        • HistoriCat

          What's a Polaroid grandpa?

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            For reference.

          • A sub 30 grandpa? BoV is truly a prodigy.

  • badseeds

    Hmmm. We didn't hear anything about this from Mitt after he crushed in the Romney Games this summer up here in Wolfeboro.

  • miss_grundy

    What a moron! But I do love the picture that you have of him. But the man is a poopy-head and his followers do love him. Blech!

    • noodlesalad

      I don't think his followers love him. They just hate him less.

      • chicken_thief

        Agreed. No one likes Mitt Romney. No one.

    • He is bad person.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      BMW, MBA
      Vote Republican, election day.
      He's white, he's white
      And when he walks his bvttocks are extremely tight.

    • I love, love, love that picture!
      What a wonderful way to start the day!
      Thanks, Wonkette!

  • I pity the poor gay blind tax who crosses Romney's path in a chocolate donut shop. He might jump him and give him a hair cut.

  • you know who built the Salt Lake Olympics? The Taxpayers. With a 1.3 billion dollar bailout. #yeswebuiltthatshit

  • Why does Mitt Romney hate American athletes? Is that why he held a shitty Olympics?

  • thatsitfortheother1

    Mitt's got a lock on the gold medal in the dog toss.

  • Biff

    When I was reading this HuffyPo article about Barry's new attack ad against RomBot 1000, my eye was drawn to this other story about Sally Ride having the gay! No wonder she ignored my impassioned crush letters, for fuck's sake!

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Ha…one up on you! After I sent her my 'ride this rocket' crush letter, I got a protection order.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      She didn't just have the gay, she had the space gay!

      • SorosBot

        Since we've been allowing lesbians in space, what's next, an openly gay Star Trek character? (Well Jadzia Dax was apparently bi, but she's it).


          • SorosBot

            I said character, not actor.

        • Iam_Who_Iam

          Ok, not a regular character but an excellent episode anyhow. And that Dax was pretty awesome with the inter-species sex with Worf. Star Trek was always awesome with the sex stuff, geek version of porn.

        • AbandonHope

          Andrew Robinson says that he originally played Garak as omnisexual — hence his initial fascination with Doctor Bashir — but scaled it back when he felt it wasn't really working. Or maybe it was the writers objecting or something — I don't remember exactly.

          • SorosBot

            I actually forgot about that; but since Garak was only ever involved with Gul Dukat's daughter on screen, there is no direct confirmation he was anything other than straight.

      • Biff

        Certainly not the first big ol' gay lesbian I had the scorchies for, and probably won't be the last. That's my curse, falling in love with a person's mind first.

        • Fuck that, I loved her hair.

        • eggsacklywright

          Same here. I've had several attractions to avowed thespians over the years.

        • Also, too, guilty, as mentioned previously in other comments here.

          A little too young to have had a crush on Dr. Ride, mind you; but growing up, her space flight was generally considered the only notable thing about the year I was born.

      • thatsitfortheother1

        Mach 38 gehy.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors


        Well, that's one way to make the phrase "number one, engage" into an entendre.

        • WunkRocker

          Ironically Romnoid was praising Sally Ride out of one orifice while slighting the GHEYZ with the other. Not sure which hole which came out of. It's one of the sphincters.

    • Also, hey! She went to my school! Finally, someone worth mentioning!

      Of course, like anyone with a lick of sense, she made sure to transfer to somewhere else before graduating.

  • Shorter Romboto: Everything I say is a lie unless I'm telling it to GOPers then it is called the "Truth."

  • EatsBabyDingos

    While drinking his Diet Coke and eating his Granny Smith, Mitt began preaching to the Moron Tab and Apple choir.

    • bobbert

      Upfist for sheer perseverance.

    • kittensdontlie

      His "chocolate goodie" is the common man's treat, he grew up on eclairs and other fancified puff pastries.

  • LesBontemps

    "You Olympians, however, know you didn’t get here solely on your own power."

    Of course not; dancing horses fly first class.

  • MozakiBlocks

    Coming soon to an Obama commercial near you. Somewhere David Axelrod is laughing his ass off.

  • user-of-towels

    Is this guy still in the news?

  • Biff

    Mitt in his other baked goods gaffe: "You didn't build that!"

    • WunkRocker

      Also Penna sucks. He shits on their bakery and they laugh it off. Because you know, the Preezy is a blah.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    This fall, there will be a short run hit tv show.

    Shit Mitt Romney Says

    • i look forward to similar gaffes when he gets to poland.

      • Geminisunmars

        I'm waiting for the report that says he attempted to connect with his audience with an opening joke: "How many Poles does it take to change a lightbulb?"

        • va_real

          Poles? Wha happened to Polocks, you PC librul??!!

          Awright I give up- how many?

          • Geminisunmars

            Hey, I am way too PC to give that punch line.On the other hand: How many republicants does it take to screw in a light bulb? “Eleven, one to hold the bulb, and ten to turn the ladder.”

    • RadioBowels

      You know who else appreciated Anglo-Saxon heritage and Olympic teamwork?

      • thatsitfortheother1

        Karl der Grosse?

      • SayItWithWookies

        Roger Bannister?

        • WunkRocker

          The ghost of Boudica?

          • viennawoods13

            She was way before the Anglo-Saxon invasions- don't be calling her a Saxon.

          • WunkRocker

            Hence "ghost."

  • eggsacklywright

    To be fair, the women's track events are quite scintillating for a person of my proclivities.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Women's tennis. Moar grunting.

    • Women's beach volleyball: briefer costumes, even moar grunting than tennis and all that rolling in the sand hugging and kissing after winning medals.

      • Dashboard Buddha

        I see what you mean.

      • eggsacklywright

        I actually prefer the indoor women's volleyball. The tallness. The slenderness. It undoes me.

        • Kerri Walsh's nickname is Six Feet of Sunshine.

        • SayItWithWookies

          It speaks to our misplaced priorities as a nation that team (i.e. not beach) women's volleyball is not our national sport.

      • thatsitfortheother1

        That's all well and fine until somebody gets sandcrotch.

  • Stevola

    Etch-a-sketches are made in China now

  • Goonemeritus

    What a collectivist asshole thank God there is still time to make Ron Paul the nominee.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I wonder if Ann knows that Mitt hates her horsey.

    • WunkRocker

      He promised to buy her Scotland so she could do some golfing next week. Suckit whore diamond mongerers.

      • viennawoods13

        No need. His best buddy Donald will let her use his.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I had an Etch-a-Sketch when I was wee. Damn, I could have been cut from presidential timber too!

    • thatsitfortheother1

      I had a slinky…

    • Mitt's more whittled from balsa wood, actually.

      • thatsitfortheother1

        Like one of those kits that's missing a critical piece.

  • UnholyMoses

    Mitt should have outsourced his run for Prez.

    I'm sure the Chinese would've charged the Koch Bros. just a tenth of that $400 million.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      He's offshoring it in the next couple days, I believe.

      Would be funny if the Polish PM said something like "No way, dude. You svck."

      • LesBontemps

        I hope he's sending it out to those Taiwanese animators. That would be an awesome campaign.

        • viennawoods13

          And more lifelike!

  • Come here a minute

    Mitt Romney also hates that the gold medal goes to the fastest runner, not the highest bidder.

  • Serolf_Divad

    Athletes have a very high representation of teh blahs, so they clearly had a lot of help along the way. But Ayn Randian hero captains of industry owe their success to no one, and if anything, everyone else in the world just got in the way.

  • James Michael Curley

    Laff of the Day!

    "Rules Committee spokesman Doug Andres said GOP members “hope to fix the error by unanimous consent, and we hope the Democrats will cooperate with us.”


    • Um, oops?

    • HistoriCat

      Are we sure that's a typo? Because I'm pretty sure the Republicans are trying to get the employment rate down to 6%.

  • nowave

    Remember when the Olympics wasn't full of millionaire pro athletes?

    • I don't think anyone here is 3,000 years old….

    • SorosBot


    • bobbert

      Well, I remember when some of them weren't millionaires.

  • docterry6973

    'All athletes stand on the shoulders of those who lifted them'? 'Thanks to the communities'? Who is this guy? Joe Stalin?

    Of course, the dancing horse riders are the exceptions, being rich and white. Weren't the the dancing horses the most important athletes in the ancient Greek Olympics?

    • Indeed. In fact, the signature event, the decathlon, is Greek for "horse wife".

    • thatsitfortheother1

      To be fair, they had the horse's shoulders to stand on.

    • eggsacklywright

      Yes, and the ancient Geeks did invent bull-vaulting, also. Was it the Spartans from Crete or the Cretins from Sparta? I can never keep them straight.

      • thatsitfortheother1

        The Cretins are from La Jolla.

  • OneYieldRegular

    What is it with this guy and parents? He can't stop talking about everything a person's parents are going to do for them. Wasn't it just a month ago he was encouraging kids to get their parents to chip in $20K to help launch a start-up?

    I'd say he hates orphans too.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      No, he loves orphans. Work houses, you know.

  • RadioBowels

    Ya know, he's right. Leni Riefenstahl did not make those movies by herself.

  • RadioBowels

    They don't call it TWO man luge for nothing.

  • nowave

    I invented Bruce Jenner.

    • nowave

      Then, I strapped him to the roof of my car and he sprayed shit all over Los Angeles.

    • eggsacklywright

      In that case, you're fired.


    Welfare moms? Well, who doesn't hate Michelle Bachmann?

  • Mojopo

    Back in 2004, I was a world class enabler. Where's my medal?

    • I hocked it and bought liquor

  • RadioBowels

    There is no "I", or "$" for that matter, in team. However, there is that pesky "me".


    An comprehensive list of hated Olympian personalities should included Bob Costas as well.

  • x111e7thst

    A lot of these athletes are black. It is natural to hate them.

  • is there anything – ANYTHING?? – this tool has been consistent about?

    besides being rich obv.

    • Geminisunmars

      Being a douchebag?


    “You Olympians, however, know you didn’t get here solely on your own power".

    He's obviously referring to Olympia Dukakis, a notorious welfare queen.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Just keep in mind that anyone quoting Mitt in the past to contrast with his current statements is a complete liar.

    • kittensdontlie

      When you combine his past statements(his lies) with his current statements(his truths) by simple addition, cancel each other exactly, leaving Mitten as a ZERO.

  • mavenmaven

    There's a difference between businesses and athletes to a Romney, in that the athletes are simply commodities to be exploited for profit.

  • hagajim

    Mitt needs to enter the Olympics in the backstroke, because he seems pretty damn good at backstroking away from all of his previous "closely" held beliefs.

  • va_real

    Romney hates the Olympics because 'outsourcing' isn't a medal event.

  • No wonder Romney sucks. There's a big vacuum where his integrity was supposed to be.

  • viennawoods13

    posted this on yesterday's story, but too late for people to see it. This is truly the Awesomest example of lack of research

  • poorgradstudent

    I'd have totally understood if Mittens said he hated Olympic athletes because "Days of our Lives" is being preempted for two whole weeks.

  • ttommyunger

    Is balls-out Bullshitting an Olympic Sport yet? I think we have a winner, folks.

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