TWINKLE TWINKLE  5:24 pm July 24, 2012

Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert Casts Aspersions On Potency Of John McCain’s Scrotum

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Look, his head is like a dick!Yes, you are the newest supernova in the Wonket Cavalcade of Stars, Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert, but are you burning too bright? Having just in the past week joined in Michelle Bachmann’s search for Arabs under the bed, and then gotten it just right with his explanation that Aurora was caused by Jealous Jeebus, Louie Gohmert is now calling out John McCain for not hating Muslins enough, and questioning the fullness of his sac full of swimmers. But at least he has not called for McCain to take “a final dirt nap” — you know, a dirt nap OF VOTES!

From Raw Story:

“Well, it’s obvious that John McCain didn’t even read the letter because of what he said in accusing Michele and us of making these horrible accusations,” Gohmert told conservative radio host Dennis Miller on Tuesday.

“And I wish some of these numbnuts would go out and read the letter before they make these horrible allegations about the horrible accusations we’re making.”

“Numbnuts.” So gauche. What should Louie Gohmert have called John McCain instead?

* Coffin-dodger.

* Godzilla Arms.

* Miss Mavis.

* That trollop.

* That cunt.

[RawStory]

 
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{ 192 comments }

Maman July 24, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Numbnuts, no. Walnuts, yes.

SmutBoffin July 24, 2012 at 5:40 pm

HEY JOHN MCCAIN GOT THOSE NUMB NUTS IN THE 'NAM GOMER

nounverb911 July 24, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Well, Gohmert would know.

sbj1964 July 24, 2012 at 5:28 pm

I would never buy a used car from this guy.WTF Look at him! Ped-O-phile written all over him.What a Douche.Texas I should have known.

mrpuma2u July 24, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Gohmert-pyle of shit is a shithead.

ChernobylSoup July 24, 2012 at 5:28 pm

"John McCain is as yellow as the margins on Wonkette."

Butch_Wagstaff July 24, 2012 at 6:27 pm

I had to adjust the brightness of my screen but I think the damage to my eyes had already been done. By Gohmert's pic, I mean.

tbogg July 24, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Palin Picker

Mittens Howell, III July 24, 2012 at 6:04 pm

Harsh.

nounverb911 July 24, 2012 at 5:29 pm

What does Gohmert call Marcus?

Beowoof July 24, 2012 at 5:30 pm

A date.

Geminisunmars July 24, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Aurelius?

Radiotherapy July 24, 2012 at 5:36 pm

A fag.

elviouslyqueer July 24, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Mom.

CleverSobriquet July 24, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Frequently. Oh Sorry, that's when not what.

Callyson July 24, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Easy.

va_real July 24, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Darling.

smokefilledroomba July 24, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Marky Mark and his Funky Buttmunch

emmelemm July 24, 2012 at 5:55 pm

I like this. Also, I am 12.

smokefilledroomba July 24, 2012 at 6:17 pm

That's strange. I was going to add something to the effect of "sometimes I channel a twelve-year-old's sense of humor" to that post but didn't. I'm glad I was old when I was young–no goddamn fun. Now I get to be a kid again! Buttmunch and farts and the basest of humorz!

Not_So_Much July 24, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Faaaaabulous!

Boojum July 24, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Oh God!

RedneckMuslin July 24, 2012 at 6:16 pm

A lot.

emmelemm July 24, 2012 at 6:18 pm

A good time?

Thurman Munster IV July 24, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Hot lips?

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 7:51 pm

"Mistress Bachman"?

OKthennext July 24, 2012 at 8:19 pm

A bottom.

mrblifil July 24, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Natalie?

Beowoof July 24, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Louie, people who live in glass houses should not be using an Uzi, firing out the windows.Calling other people numbnuts, when you are their king is just pushing the boundaries of bad taste. And as I sure McCain would say, "fuck off chrome dome".

Hedley_Lamarr July 24, 2012 at 5:29 pm

George Jefferson, but without the stabilizing Weezie influence.

nounverb911 July 24, 2012 at 5:31 pm

George moved up to that big apartment in the sky today.

ph7 July 24, 2012 at 5:32 pm
commiegirl99 July 24, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Rules for Commenting Radicals, BARB.

Barb_ July 24, 2012 at 5:37 pm

I sincerely apologize and shall delete.

commiegirl99 July 24, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Bummer, now I can't spank you. :(

Barb_ July 24, 2012 at 5:43 pm

I can find other reasons to get you to pull down my white cotton panties, exposing my lightly freckled behind as I lay across your lap…..

Fed Ex man is here! Sorry that I can't finish this.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 7:49 pm

"my lightly freckled behind"

If your tushie has freckles, it can only be because you have bared it to the noonday sun, so you ARE a naughty Barb.

smokefilledroomba July 24, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Whoa– is Barb on notice?

Barb_ July 24, 2012 at 5:58 pm

I got me a time out and only half a root beer flavored Popsicle.
The good news is that I watched Becca Lou eat the other half. It's all good.

What I said was really pathetic and she was right.

Tundra Grifter July 24, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Can I watch? Quietly from the corner, of course.

ElPinche July 24, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Barb is a bad girl.

Barb_ July 24, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Yes I am, El Pinche. Luckily, the Fed Ex man delivered a book on party manners for me and I am going to read it.

ElPinche July 24, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Sure…my wife calls 50 Shades of Grey a "party manners" book , too. ;)

TonytheFeline July 24, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Hopefully he can send you another one about humility.

SmutBoffin July 24, 2012 at 6:10 pm

I made this same joke (desperate wish?) back in the Ken Layne days (and about Dick Cheney). I am bad too I guess.

HistoriCat July 25, 2012 at 10:26 am

You're just trying to get the Editrix to spank you retroactively.

RedneckMuslin July 24, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Bad girls are the best girls.

Maman July 24, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Are we allowed to skullfuck Louie Gohmert full OF VOTES? or is that still against the rules?

smokefilledroomba July 24, 2012 at 5:31 pm

And I wish some of these numbnuts would go out and read the letter

Yeah, a "letter" equivalent to a chain email forwarded to a bunch of aol subscribers.

ChernobylSoup July 24, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Haven't heard Palin's take on this kerfuffle; she's stuck between a numbnuts and a crazy place.

ph7 July 24, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Gohmert told conservative radio host Dennis Miller .

Well, finally some good news. Dennis Miller is no longer a comedian.

nounverb911 July 24, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Was he ever?

Radiotherapy July 24, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Not since the Peloponessian War.

SorosBot July 24, 2012 at 5:48 pm

He was good back on the Saturday Night Live golden age, before he went nuts – and most of his material was written by Al Franken.

glasspusher July 24, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Kind of like Chevy Chase, but with less talent and self awareness…and that's saying something.

Hammiepants July 24, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Was he ever? I know one thing for sure. He almost made me hate MNF. Almost.

CrunchyKnee July 24, 2012 at 5:32 pm

People actually vote for idiots like this guy. It staggers the mind.

Estproph July 24, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Gohmert's IQ of 90 makes him the smartest guy in the room full of people with IQs of 85.

va_real July 24, 2012 at 5:52 pm

I don't think they voted for HIM, they voted for the (R) after his name.

smokefilledroomba July 24, 2012 at 6:30 pm

He's a registered trademark of the GOP.

glasspusher July 24, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Idiots vote for people like this guy

Beowoof July 24, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Well he is from Texas, where critical thinking is now out of the curriculum. Does it show?

Jennyjen798 July 24, 2012 at 8:53 pm

He's from East Texas. You don't want to know what goes on out there…

glasspusher July 24, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Subtraction: addition's tricky pal.

HistoriCat July 25, 2012 at 10:29 am

West Louisiana or South Arkansas?

Jennyjen798 July 25, 2012 at 10:49 am

West Louisiana.

When I was a youngin' I was offered a college scholarship to a dance team in that area. I went to visit the school and promptly headed right back to Dallas. I'd rather be in the barrio then spend several years in the Texas pines with ass-backwards shit for brains. Plus I probably would have been raped then drug behind a truck; because you know, uppity brown liburul whore always prancing around in short dance skirts. Totally asking for it, ya know.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 25, 2012 at 8:51 am

It buggers the imagination.

Mittens Howell, III July 24, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Blech … Louie Gohmert and Dennis Miller together, there's a pair of low-hanging crusty ball sacks swinging in the breeze.

va_real July 24, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Ewwwww- I just threw up a little in my mouth.

rickmaci July 24, 2012 at 6:20 pm

They must have been Tea Bag'n each other?

hagajim July 24, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Truck Nutz?

sudsmckenzie July 24, 2012 at 5:34 pm

"Martina Heeengis"

anniegetyerfun July 24, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Didn't someone take a look at that headshot and say, "No, no. Mr. Gohmert, we really need to reshoot this."?

Guppy July 24, 2012 at 5:57 pm

with votes!

Oh, you mean the other kind of "shoot."

Tundra Grifter July 24, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Apparently grass doesn't grow on a busy street.

Or – in Louie Gomer's case – a dead end one.

hagajim July 24, 2012 at 6:55 pm

That's prolly the best your gonna get from a dickhead like Louie.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 7:54 pm

It's even worse than you suspect; that was the best picture of the photo session.

smokefilledroomba July 24, 2012 at 5:34 pm

His 'professional' photos always look like head shots for a Hee-Haw audition.

va_real July 24, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Minnie Pearl's hat would vastly improve the look.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 7:54 pm

That's because he conjures up that creepy/doofy smile by thinking about Santorum without his sweater vest.

Ducksworthy July 24, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Well Gol-lee!

Tundra Grifter July 24, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Remember the episode where his buddies made fun of the female marine?

"Why – I bet she has a TATOO!"

How times have changed…

Blueb4sinrise July 24, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Tell us more about reading the whole thing and context and stuff Louie.

Mittens Howell, III July 24, 2012 at 5:36 pm

It's a pity Gohmert went into politics, he could have made a fortune as a Dunce Cap Supermodel.

SayItWithWookies July 24, 2012 at 5:37 pm

John McCain's a lot of things, but tolerant of abuse is not one of them — I wouldn't be surprised if he goes all Don Corleone and Gohmert wakes up with a horse's ass in his bed some morning real soon. And I'm not just talking about the one he sees in the mirror every morning.

Beowoof July 24, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Wow, he would put Sarah in bed with Louie. Well it is every right wing dudes fantasy so enjoy Gomer.

mavenmaven July 24, 2012 at 5:37 pm

numbwalnuts, or walnumbnuts? Better than gohmerthead.

ManchuCandidate July 24, 2012 at 5:37 pm

I can't believe I'm defending Walnuts, but he spent five FIVE FIVE FIVE!!!!! FUCKING YEARS in the Hanoi Hilton.

What have you done Louie?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6nR7mgjfmE

commiegirl99 July 24, 2012 at 5:44 pm

FIVE AND A HALF YEARS MANCHU.

Thurman Munster IV July 24, 2012 at 6:29 pm

FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN, Commiegirl

Beowoof July 24, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Well aside from regular fapping to pics of Sarah and Ayn Rand, not much.

BarryWDC July 24, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Oh, sweet Jeebus…John McCain's scrotum is just a mental image that I cannot tolerate!!

nounverb911 July 24, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Better get used to it if you're going to hang around here.

Beowoof July 24, 2012 at 6:38 pm

I have personally found Rex Goliath Cabernet is an effective brain bleach.

Jus_Wonderin July 24, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Geezer McWeezer?

Nostrildamus July 24, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Gohmert thinks he'll silence criticism this way because reading is really hard.
Only for you, Louis.

fartknocker July 24, 2012 at 5:38 pm

The stupid is strong in Louie Gohmert's world.

SmutBoffin July 24, 2012 at 5:38 pm

"…conservative radio host Dennis Miller…"

[shiver]

Designer_Rants July 24, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Notice no one calls him "comedian" anymore.

Beowoof July 24, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Yes, Dennis has now crossed over completely to the dark side. I watched about 5 minutes of his HBO special the big speech and I think he really misses his writers.

ChernobylSoup July 24, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Dude looks like a Southern Baptist preacher with Catholic priest tendencies.

Nostrildamus July 24, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Gohmert – what a musical name. I could say it all day.
Gohmert, Gohmert, Gohmert, Gohmert !!!

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 7:56 pm

Say it soft and there's weasels playing,
Say it loud and it's almost like spraying,
Gohmert, I just met a jackass named Gohmert…

viennawoods13 July 24, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Ok, that made me snort.

Schmannnity July 24, 2012 at 5:42 pm

All my asses live in Texas.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 25, 2012 at 10:36 am

That's why I live in Tennessee? Wait. Uhm, Alaska? Shoot. How about Arizona? Don't have the papers for that. Well, Florida it is!

PuckStopsHere July 24, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Numbnuts, you say? It's another proud moment in the history of political discourse in the greatest democracy on earth. Thanks, Louie!

Callyson July 24, 2012 at 5:42 pm

What should Louie Gohmert have called John McCain instead?
* Coffin-dodger.
* Godzilla Arms.
* Miss Mavis.
* That trollop.
* That cunt.

Um, am I really first with this…AOTK!

(I don't care if AOTK is out of style, it's a classic…)

Not_So_Much July 24, 2012 at 5:54 pm

"Anal Only, Thanks Kunt"?

SorosBot July 24, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Plane-crasher?

Barrelhse July 24, 2012 at 6:41 pm

His college fraternity?

SorosBot July 24, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Unfortunately, while normally a geriatric like McCain would be a numb-nuts, today we have the horror of Viagra and other medicines which overturn the natural order and allow gross old men to get it up.

MissTaken July 24, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Sure, he can get his penis up. But his arms, they stay limp.

SorosBot July 24, 2012 at 6:00 pm

The same goes for Bob Dole.

Callyson July 24, 2012 at 5:47 pm

“Numbnuts” is derogatory slang term that mostly likely originated in the U.S. military. It is often used to to describe an ignorant person, but it can also imply cowardice, sterility or impotence.

Ah, so I can't use "numbnuts" interchangably with "wingnuts," since the latter seem to proliferate like rabbits, at least within the Republican Party. Good to know…

gullywompr July 24, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Michele sure knows how to pick 'em, don't she?

Nostrildamus July 24, 2012 at 5:48 pm

McCain could crush Gohmert using only his nuts.

RedneckMuslin July 24, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Crushed nuts?That happens when you crash planes.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 25, 2012 at 10:40 am

I see you are imagining the effect of the g forces from multiple ejections.

Fox n Fiends July 24, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Remember when Rush said that he'd rather vote for Hillary than McCain? Thems peoples hate his guts already (because he's a veteran like John Kerry, Jimmy Carter etc. so he can't be a true conservative like Reagan and G. Dubya)

SorosBot July 24, 2012 at 5:50 pm

And so, as was the case when Walnuts was nearly excommunicated for not hating on Mexicans enough, the greatest sin in wingnut land is not being a horrible racist bigot.

Chet Kincaid July 24, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Popping popcorn, waiting for Walnuts explosion…

Not_So_Much July 24, 2012 at 5:52 pm

What's happening with Louie's hair up top? I assume it's all heading back 'South of the Border'?

qwerty42 July 24, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Rebecca, really! The information used came from Frank Gaffney and if you can't trust that guy with the truth, well, just who can you trust?

sullivanst July 24, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Looks like someone just admitted to making horrible accusations, no?

starfanglednut July 24, 2012 at 6:14 pm

I noticed that too.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 24, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Yeah, but it's the horrible allegations about the horrible accusations that Gomer is upset about. Stop trying to change the subject!

smitallica July 24, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Why do people keep accusing me of saying something by quoting the exact words I said?

ChernobylSoup July 24, 2012 at 5:56 pm

McCain hasn't spent 118 years in the Senate for nothing. I reckon the Gohmert fellow is in for a bit of a rough spell.

Designer_Rants July 24, 2012 at 6:27 pm

As long as McCain can remember that he doesn't like him.

subsum July 24, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Louie makes Texas look so Texan it's not even funny.

va_real July 24, 2012 at 5:58 pm

They shouldn't have taken his picture while he was practicing talking out of both sides of his mouth.

Guppy July 24, 2012 at 5:58 pm

That's funny, he looks nothing like a cunt in that picture…

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 7:58 pm

You must not be looking at the same picture as the rest of us.

Guppy July 24, 2012 at 8:19 pm

I see a dickhead.

Is it possible to be both a dickhead and a cunt? Would that then qualify him as transgender?

eggsacklywright July 25, 2012 at 9:08 am

More like hermaphroditism, methinks.

Goonemeritus July 24, 2012 at 5:59 pm

If I bore such a striking resemblance to an erect penis I would probably refrain from those allusions.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 8:07 pm

You know how God got revenge on Jeb Bush and Karl Rove for *being* such pigs by making them *look* exactly like pigs?
I'm thinking it's something similar for Louie, only replace "pig" with "dickhead".

LesBontemps July 24, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Will no one think of the Trucknutz?

arihaya July 24, 2012 at 6:04 pm

That facial expression is forcing me to think that the honourable congressman is suffering from lack of brain development.

(see, that's how to avoid the R-word)

arihaya July 24, 2012 at 6:05 pm

also Louie Gohmert (R-TX 01) apprently means that he is the first winner of Who Got the Stupidest Head in Texas? competition.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Not while Rick Perry is technically alive.

Mittens Howell, III July 24, 2012 at 6:09 pm

That head is totally asking for a dog-turd toupee.

iburl July 24, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Gohmert Pile, S.H.I.T.

cue the theme: http://youtu.be/_JAA2Unb0B4

rickmaci July 24, 2012 at 6:22 pm

As long as he is in D.C., there is a village in Texas that is missing its idiot.

Come here a minute July 24, 2012 at 6:22 pm

A surveyor's dirt nap, of course!

Designer_Rants July 24, 2012 at 6:25 pm

“And I wish some of these numbnuts would go out and read the letter before they make these horrible allegations about the horrible accusations we’re making.”

If I were Mitt Romney, I would just cut out this sentence and run it over and over again and say "SEE?! SEE?! He ADMITS it !!!!".

chascates July 24, 2012 at 6:31 pm

He's the new Joe Barton.

MosesInvests July 24, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Oily Joe Barton isn't stupid, merely corrupt to the core.

chascates July 24, 2012 at 6:44 pm

Frank Bruni has an article on Michele Bachmann which also fits Gohmert to a tee:
It’s to wonder why we accept her descriptions of herself, and in turn describe her, as a deeply religious woman. That grants too much credence to her particular, peculiar and highly selective definition of piety. And it offends the many admirable people of faith whose understanding and practice of religion aren’t, like hers, confrontational and small-minded.
Bachmann is an evangelical, and has spoken rhapsodically about the experience of being born again. After that moment, she said, “I absolutely understood sin, and I wanted no part of it.” She plunged into politics nonetheless.
We routinely place her in the “religious right,” a phrase that frustrates me, tidily linking a certain set of political beliefs with profound devotion. We talk much less frequently of any “religious left,” and that disparity implies that a seriously faithful person is most likely to land on just one end of the political spectrum.
Bachmann’s on to something: dangerous fundamentalists have indeed set up camp deep inside the capital. She can find one in her office. She need only look in the mirror.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/24/opinion/bruni-t

glamourdammerung July 24, 2012 at 6:54 pm

What should Louie Gohmert have called John McCain instead?

Songbird.

hagajim July 24, 2012 at 6:56 pm

As much as I hate to say it, Louie is probably correct, in that Walnuts has numbnuts. After all, he'd old and has been around that frigid Cindy for sooooo long now….brrrr.

BerkeleyBear July 25, 2012 at 12:45 am

And oh so blue, since actually fapping is pretty tough when you can barely move your arms.

nowave July 24, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Why is Phil Collins so mad at Walnuts?

nowave July 24, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Why is Nicolas Cage so mad at Walnuts?

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 8:09 pm

Because he threw bees in his headgear?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4MqTCIDKhU

AutomaticPilot July 24, 2012 at 7:37 pm

OT, but why do I get the impression that someone is trying to divert attention from a certain blood doping scandal? Hmmm….

ElPinche July 24, 2012 at 7:38 pm

His smooth round brainless head is strangely mesmerizing .

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 8:13 pm

"It's his skull; it's hypnotic" — Ned Flanders (about Homer Simpson)

mosjef July 24, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Dennis Miller never heard any of this, having his head buried up his own ass.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 7:48 pm

"Louie Gohmert is now calling out John McCain for not hating Muslins enough"

So, Gohmert Pyle thinks Sen. McCain should be more inclined to cast aspersions on Persians?

MosesInvests July 24, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Shu-zayum!

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 7:57 pm

I confess that I sort of like "Miss Mavis" as a generic nickname for anybody.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 7:58 pm

These people are about two weeks and a bad hair day away from literally eating their young.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Knowing absolutely nothing about Louie Louie Gomer, I have only to look at his picture and glance at the article to know that John McCain could crush Louie in one hand like a marshmallow Peep, eat him for breakfast, and shit him out before 10:30 am.

TribecaMike July 24, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Nothing five years in a North Vietnamese tiger cage can't cure.

Jennyjen798 July 24, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Is there a photographer that specializes in dumbass politician poses? Seriously, why would ANY handler say "Oh yes, this one, this photo right here is the one! You look like you've just released that dump you've been holding for the past 30 minutes. This is the one we want your constituents to see!" Picture after picture of dump taking grins. It's sad to think that this is the best that they could get.

docterry6973 July 24, 2012 at 8:53 pm

McCain is such a good sport about things like this.

Dashboard Buddha July 24, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Dennis Miller? The Dennis Miller…the Dennis Miller that use to be, you know, Dennis Miller?

He was funny once and I enjoyed his sub-referencing style of humor. That was, of course, before he dove to the right faster than Brooks Robinson.

Edit: Ok…maybe he wasn't that funny. Here's a DM reference generator.
http://wiki.joshuajamesslone.name/tiki-index.php?…

HistoriCat July 25, 2012 at 10:36 am

Upfist for the Brooks Robinson reference.

Dashboard Buddha July 24, 2012 at 8:59 pm

From the picture… Doesn't he look like the douchebag that just told someone he was foreclosing on their home?

Dashboard Buddha July 24, 2012 at 9:02 pm

See, there are many reasons to hate Gomer Pile of Shit…I think I hate him the most when I feel compelled to defend Walnuts.

redarmyzombie July 24, 2012 at 11:12 pm

Truly, it is a sad state of affairs indeed…

mrblifil July 24, 2012 at 10:07 pm

The only time McCain has felt less respected was that time Cindy pulled a train at the Miss Buffalo Chip contest.

CheeseBro69 July 24, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Old yeller is the most appropriate nickname for John McCain

ttommyunger July 25, 2012 at 8:28 am

Gomert, Miller and McCain: idiocy just hit a triple-play.

Ruhe July 25, 2012 at 9:36 am

Getting the "Re-Call McCain" bandwagon rolling, Arizona lead teabagger Wes Harris notes that if Huma Abedin is a Muslim then that's all you have to know, Duh! libtards!

"According to the (Arizona Capital) Times, Harris believes Muslims are incapable of being loyal to the U.S., because he claims that their faith in Islam and the Quran trumps any other allegiance. He also apparently believes Muslims shouldn't be able to serve in the State Department at all."

“Have you ever read the Quran? I suggest you do so, because anyone that is a Muslim is a threat to this country, and that’s a fact,” Harris told the Times. “There is no such thing as a moderate Muslim. If they are Muslim they have to follow the Quran. That’s their religion and that’s their doctrine.”

Apparently like many a good Christian Mr. Harris must have skipped right over that part in Luke where Jesus inveighs his followers to turn their backs on everything, family included, in order to follow him. The word" hate" is used in my translation. Pretty strong stuff. If you're supposed to "hate" your family so that you can love Jesus that would pretty much rule out loyalty to any sort of nation/state, right?

RedneckMuslin July 24, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Pathetic posts are the best posts.

emmelemm July 24, 2012 at 6:20 pm

I *love* rootbeer popsicles. Haven't had one in a while…

Nostrildamus July 24, 2012 at 7:04 pm

root beer flavored popsicle

The aforementioned Fed Ex guy?

Barb_ July 24, 2012 at 6:30 pm

No TonytheFeline, I don't need a book on humility. Rebecca pointed it out to me, I deleted the post, I apologized, I admitted that she was right and that is good enough.

commiegirl99 July 24, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Hi there! Leaving this up so people can see what kind of shithead-for-no-reason comments will get a person banned.

Oh, and by the way: You're banned.

If you don't like someone talking about personal stuff, don't click their threads. Everybody else enjoys it. You're out.

TonytheFeline July 24, 2012 at 6:46 pm

I'm sorry, Barb! You are my favorite commenter anyway :):):):):):):):):):):):):) tell me about your day and life and stuff?

smokefilledroomba July 24, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Brown can do a lot, apparently. Wait–that's UPS. nevermind.

Barb_ July 24, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Tessie, I live in the desert and in high altitude. You freckle easily, lol.

Barb_ July 24, 2012 at 9:13 pm

The Fed Ex guy thinks that he "absolutely, positively has to be here overnight." Wait, did I get that right?

Guppy July 24, 2012 at 9:40 pm

I would have figured the name alone would merit a scorched earth policy…

AbandonHope July 25, 2012 at 9:38 am

I really, really, really like the ruthless you. Please keep this up.

Boojum July 25, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Speaking only for myself, and a large majority of the commenters, we would greatly appreciate the continuation of story time, so rudely interrupted by the FedEx man from Porlock.

To reprise, Barb, you were saying something about "lightly freckled behind" and ACTION!

HistoriCat July 25, 2012 at 11:08 am

One of the big benefits of having kids is that now we stay at home for the holidays instead of visiting my wife's relatives in East Texas.

I'm thinking you made the right call about that scholarship – at Wonkette we prefer our uppity brown liburul whores always prancing around in short dance skirts to be unraped.

Jennyjen798 July 25, 2012 at 12:16 pm

And still in one piece might be pretty swell too. :P

HistoriCat July 25, 2012 at 1:00 pm

I thought about going with “intact” but didn't want to sound like James Taranto.

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