punk'd

Romney Advisor Guy Slamming Obama For ‘Leaks’ Was Same Dude Who Leaked On Valerie Plame

Leakey ManMitt Romney really wants to be seen as a credible candidate on foreign policy, but finds himself in sort of the same bind that Barack Obama did in 2008: He hasn’t actually done much in terms of foreign policy, so he’s hired a bunch of people to help advise him. How about some ambassadors? Ambassadors are probably good, we think, although we haven’t read that much Henry James. So of course it makes sense that, to support his tough-guy speech on the eve of his whirlwind visit to his money in overseas accounts, Mittens would release a ponderous statement of support from one of his ambassadors on retainer. The advisor, former Ambassador to Turkey Eric Edelman, penned a nice boilerplate paragraph about how Romney’s Reno speech was all “Reaganesque” and stuff, blah blah no apologies for America and so on, and then the thing closes by echoing Romney’s VERY SERIOUS concerns that the Obama administration may have leaked information about the Bin Laden raid and drone attacks, back when everybody on the Right was whining and moaning that Obama wouldn’t release any intel about the Bin Laden raid and drone attacks:

The suggestion by Senator Dianne Feinstein, chair of the Senate Intelligence Committee, that the White House was behind recent leaks of highly classified secrets, highlights the urgent need for change.

And if anyone knows about how serious leaks of classified information can be, it’s Eric Edelman! After all, as Buzzfeed points out, Edelman worked for VP Dick Cheney’s right-hand man, Scooter Libby. In fact, Edelman was identified in the Justice Department’s indictment of Libby as the genius who suggested to Libby that it would be a hilarious prank to get back at Bush administration critic Joseph Wilson by leaking information to the press about Wilson. And then Libby went straight out and whispered to the New York Times’ Judith Miller all about how Wilson’s wife, Valerie Plame, was totally a CIA operative, you know, and then everybody had a good laugh over how thoroughly Wilson had been punked, so we went ahead and invaded Iraq.

In the great cavalcade of tone-deafness that is the Romney 2012 campaign, it may be fairly unremarkable that the job of condemning the Obama administration for maybe allowing leaks would fall to the author of the Bush Administration’s most notorious leak. But we have to give them points for style.

[Buzzfeed]

About the author

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom

Comments

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  • nounverb911

    "Same Dude Who Leaked On Valerie Plame"
    Is this some sort of fetish?

    • OzoneTom

      I had no idea that she was into water sports.

      • hagajim

        I'd play water sports with her.

        • Generation[redacted]

          That reminds me, I need to set my DVR to record Olympic water polo.

  • mavenmaven

    Sort of like what Seamus did while strapped to the car roof.

  • Fox n Fiends

    Take a Leak, Freak!

  • Grief_Lessons

    The pot is calling the kettle black, and that's not racial trancendence.

    • Generation[redacted]

      The kettle doesn't understand how our special anglo-saxon relationship is special.

  • Beowoof

    So you're saying he is a traitor who should pay the price. Okay, I am good with that. And also that he is a lying sack of liquid crap, I am good with that too. The only problem I have with that is that most Americans appear to lack the intellectual brain power to connect their actions to the voting booth.

  • Oblios_Cap

    The suggestion by Senator Dianne Feinstein, chair of the Senate Intelligence Committee, that the White House was behind recent leaks of highly classified secrets

    Great job, Diane.

    Romney’s Reno speech was all “Reaganesque”

    What, did he forget were he was?

    • LesBontemps

      No, he praised the Nazis.

    • rickmaci

      What, he takes the blame for saying what he says he didn't say and/or doesn't remember saying.

    • Ducksworthy

      So, are these still the advisers who told Reagan to take sides in the Lebanese civil war by putting the Marines there as sitting ducks and then told him to run for cover when the suicide bombers blew up their barracks: thus proving to Iran that the U.S. is both stupid and cowardly? And driving Bolton insane?

    • ibwilliamsi

      They were all asleep.

  • Gleem McShineys

    "Kettles wouldn't understand."

    –Ambassador Pots

  • LastGasp

    He hasn’t actually done much in terms of foreign policy
    How can this be true?! Mitt has so much money stashed overseas, and he's worked so hard to send American jobs to other countries.
    That's the kind of foreign policy that plutocrats understand, so give Mittens some credit where credit's due.

    • Ruhe

      "How 'bout some credit now, where credit is due for the damage that we've done…"

      • Boojum

        At negative interest!

  • sbj1964

    I smell Karl Rove.Yuck! Old spice,High Karate,and vile.

    • WhatTheHeck

      Followed by the acrid smell of sulphur.

    • Limeylizzie

      and I suspect a smidgeon of smegma and dirty underpants.

  • Come here a minute

    Well you don't leak about a successful operation after it is already concluded; that's just bragging. The Bushies never had to worry about that.

  • noodlesalad

    Hypocritical lying campaign is hypocritical, lying.

    • randcoolcatdaddy

      Leaky leaker is leaking lying leaker bastard.

  • Baconzgood

    NEEDZ MOAR GOLDEN SHOWER!!!!!

  • TavariousChinaSmith

    Wow, imagine if the whole Bin Laden plot hadn't been leaked and Obama had actually caught him. Wouldn't that have been something!

  • RadioBowels

    Willowy, wispy blond she was,
    A gussied up bombshell.
    Several billion dollars a month they spent,
    Poignant story to sell.

  • hagajim

    So Mitt, how's that glass house holding up for ya.

    • Mittens Howell, III

      You mean that car elevator in a field of broken glass?

  • el_donaldo

    So between the Leaky Man and the shit-spraying John Bolton, Romney's foreign policy team has all the maturity and continence of a young toddler. And probably as articulate.

    • Geminisunmars

      No wonder it resonates well with the followers.

    • MosesInvests

      To be fair, Rmoney did have one guy with real foreign policy chops-but he got fired for being Teh Ghey.

    • Gleem McShineys

      Leaky Man and the shit-spraying John Bolton

      I smell a theme here!

      Seamus for VP!

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Toodlepips Madam Queen! just riding through on my dancing horse, wearing a spiked German Helmet on advice from my Foreigners Policy Experts

    … Clip Clop Clip Clop Clip Clop Clip Clop Clip Clop Clip Clop Clip Clop Clip Clop …

    • BlueStateLibel

      Damn, someone needs to photoshop that image stat…

  • SorosBot

    Hey, leaks that advantage Republicans are perfectly OK; just like while open negotiations with Iran are treason, secretly selling them weapons to finance anti-Communist terrorists in Central America is patriotic.

    • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Fraudulently_Joe

      But we're AT WAR!!! The President's war-making powers let him do whatever he wants, and it's automatically never illegal, unless that President is a liberal.

  • WhatTheHeck

    I thought Jason Bourne took care of this guy in the last movie.

  • Sir_Fartz_Alot

    My leak is better than your leak!

    • Ruhe

      So it's a pissing contest they want, eh?

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Leaky leakers, leaking about leaking leakers? Need a good plumber – G. Gordon Liddy, no Joe, no Thomas Crapper, yes.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    IOKIYAR and understand the "special relationship" that Anglo-Saxons have.

  • thefrontpage

    What would the beautiful, intellectually brilliant Mindy Meyer do?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Well, at least this guy knows wherefrom he speaks.

  • noodlesalad

    When Mitt Romney's campaign leaks, it is truly a golden shower.

  • bumfug

    One thing we don't have to worry about is Romney's campaign releasing the least little bit of intelligence.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    So, how was Ankara, Eric? Quite a reward for you.

    • bobbert

      Have you ever been in a Turkish prison, Eric?

  • Callyson

    Romney advisers' meeting:

    Well, shit, these voters really seem to be pissed that Mittens won't release his taxes…must distract them somehow…

  • BaldarTFlagass

    You youngs laugh now, but "leakage" can become a serious problem in your advancing years.

  • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

    I hope Romney's army of idiot wonkfarts don't run out of stupid statements to make. I'd like to see them save 'em up and let 'em all loose the last week of October.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    Romney’s Reno speech was all “Reaganesque”

    So Romney had no idea what he was saying, didn't know who his audience was and was given cookies and milk afterwards as a reward for being a good boy.

    Works for me.

    • WunkRocker

      Did he start it off joking about nuking the Soviets?

    • Limeylizzie

      and then Nancy blew him.

      • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

        And then he called her Mommy. (Ew.)

        • Gleem McShineys

          Still, better than MRS. GOBBLECOCKS

  • BarackMyWorld

    Yes, Mitt, Obama is too easy on people that leak classified info. Just ask Bradley Manning.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    Dude, Who Leaked On Valerie Plame?

    Dude, Where's my Car?

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Dude, Where's my War?

  • SayItWithWookies

    So Romney's running on bringing back the Dubya tax cuts, the Dubya deregulation, the Dubya foreign policy, the Dubya fuck-the-poors, the Dubya slashing of social welfare (though more so), the Dubya privatizing of Social Security and now the Dubya retribution against whistleblowers. Jesus fuckin' Christ I hope someone walls off this horror show and deports the entire Romney campaign to the Northern Mariana Islands where they can make sweatshop Nikes for $4.75 an hour.

    • LesBontemps

      But they'll still say "Made in USA."

    • RadioBowels

      Romney/Bolton '12 = Bush/Cheney III

  • Not_So_Much

    When he did it, it was Patriotism. Plus, Plame is only a girl.

    Get it straight Librulz!!1!

    • WunkRocker

      Yeah, Like Hillz is "just a secretary." Derrrrp

      • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

        She's been promoted to Office Manager of State.

  • didgen

    Why do you liberals always want to focus on the facts? Don't you realize it is tacky and exposes your deplorable lack of breeding?

  • sullivanst

    "Okay. So, ten out of ten for style, but minus several million for good thinking, huh?"

  • FakaktaSouth

    Well, I get it – these people's WHOLE PLATFORM depends on the ignorance of their base, the inability to parse what they say from what they do/did/have always done – and they have truly dwindled their masses into those who are a combination of : willfully ignorant, not paying attention, completely stupid or just plain evil. Neat.

    • Geminisunmars

      No wonder they are doing so well.

    • bobbert

      these people's WHOLE PLATFORM depends on the ignorance of their base,

      In a nutshell.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      Standard drunk/abusive parent syndrome: when you really really need the person you depend upon to be the person they say they are, and you have no power to withhold your affection for them even while they are beating you.

  • homotownrecords

    i broke up with a girl back in like, '06, because she didn't know who valerie plame was. then i realized a few weeks later that hardly anyone knew who she was. how were bush / cheney so good at making people not pay attn.?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Honestly, with specific regard to W, I turned him off whenever he had a speech or soundbyte. He made me physically ill when I'd hear his voice.

      But, that doesn't address your question. So, I will leave. Where is the door?

    • Geminisunmars

      Who?

    • AncienReggie

      Hey, don't look back. Your mom was right about that girl: You were way to good for her.

  • JustPixelz

    Mitt should start speaking in French to remind us how he lived in France for 30 months as a young adult. There's nothing the American public respects more than someone who can speak a foreign language (except Spanish).

    • Boojum

      And Obama can speak African!

      Who is the President of Africa these days?

  • qwerty42

    This is about par for a candidate whose foreign policy talking points are based on what neocon kooks want.

  • http://www.indiegogo.com/revive-vlad Doktor Zoom

    Needs moar Leak Spin!

    • FakaktaSouth

      Holy hell. I do not understand, I thought perhaps that would be some variation on the 70s vomit inducing plastic toy – and now I feel sort of, confused? That is a cartoon from where of a girl holding a leek why?

      • http://www.indiegogo.com/revive-vlad Doktor Zoom

        What I love about Leekspin is that even the explanation explains nothing.

    • Geminisunmars

      Catchy. Leeky.

    • va_real

      It's got a great beet & you can polka to it.

      But what's up with that Mogen David in her hair? Is it kloset klezmer?

  • WunkRocker

    30 months while he was avoiding service in Viet Nam. Good thing though. He might have been mired by the Swift Boaters for Shit Talk too.

  • Ducksworthy

    So, is talking a leak on an active undercover CIA agent worse than somebody telling exciting war stories about how they got bin Laden? We report, You decide.

    • SorosBot

      It's OK if you're a Republican.

      • Ducksworthy

        Right. Isn't there an acronym for that?

  • Wadisay

    Mitt is really going overseas for a conjugal visit with his money.

    • http://www.indiegogo.com/revive-vlad Doktor Zoom

      I am SO stealing that.

  • va_real

    Burn Him!!!

  • Blunderthing

    Democrats Bad. Republicans Good. Yes, maaaaaaaaaster.

  • Extemporanus

    Lest we forget, Cheney was also connected — via Haliburton's profit maximizing, safety eschewing, concrete pouring techniques — with the other most devastating leak of the last ten years: the BP oil spill.

    And he's still at it today: Right now, a smirking Dick Cheney is fly fishing in a well-stocked privately owned stream on his million acre estate, as blood-imbued urine steadily leaks into an old money bag he keeps where his heart used to be.

    Old habits die hard…

  • An_Outhouse

    Has anybody ever mentioned what exactly was the leaked information? I keep hearing Romney whine but I just think what the fuck is he talking about?

    • AncienReggie

      I think the stories are two. First, somebody bragged they knew the inside story on the Bin Laden take-down. Second, someone admitted to a reporter that, yeah, we were the evil geniuses behind the worm that fucked with Iran's nuclear-related computer programming. I think. Then Feinstein bragged about how she fools Democrats into voting for her every time she primaries.

      • http://www.indiegogo.com/revive-vlad Doktor Zoom

        Also there was an NY Times story that had a few choice details about how Obama & co make the drones' kill list.

  • http://archikvetch.blogspot.com/ archikvetch

    Lambert Stretcher is not amused.

  • http://archikvetch.blogspot.com/ archikvetch

    I bet Mitt spent as much time in France as Chad Newsome but did not learn as much about the world.

  • NYNYNYjr

    I don't blame him- I'd like to leak on Valerie Plame. Yowwza.

  • Jennyjen798

    I kind of wish Obama would pick Stealers Wheel's "Stuck in the Middle with You" as his campaign song. It really is the song of D.C.

    Of course,dancing around with a straight razor, cutting some dicksmear's ear off would be pretty cool too. Bush/Cheney got away with war crimes. What's one orange shriveled Boehner ear?

  • Antispandex

    I believe that Mitts is using some of those age old, tried and true methods he learned in the school yard. "Takes one to know one", "I know you are but what am I"…VERY Reaganesque indeed.

  • Gleem McShineys

    I guess that bit from Jesus saying something about logs making poor corrective lenses did not make it over into the Golden Tablets?

  • apm

    Mitt Loves Irony!

  • ttommyunger

    So, do you have a leakage problem, sir? Hmmmmm…..Depends.

  • mosjef

    Why do you think they all have yellow socks? These guys do so much leaking, they need their prostates checked. Mittens, pass the rubber gloves.

  • DahBoner

    If your product has no special feature or advantage, you advertise some common feature and claim it makes your product superior!

    In politics, you claim your opponent is worse, because they do something HORRIBLE that you do all the time…