derp

Calm, Judicious Tea Partier Seeks Total Recall Of Traitor Muslim-Lover John McCain

O HAI JOHN MCCAIN! Sometimes you seem to understand that your party (AND YOU) have thrown in your lot with a bunch of neo-Nazi troglodytes of terror. And then usually you go right back to cynically exploiting these dumb biddies and their lunatic leaders for your own political gain. Hey that’s just how it is, Jake, it’s POLITICSTOWN.

But this week, there was a nice and pretty damsel being Arab-baited by a cabal of nutballs in the actual Congress, and you did the right (and so gallant!) thing and thundered against it in your wavery old man voice from the Senate floor. Well, that was your first mistake, as now your bosom buddies are stomping and slavering and banging their feet. They are calling for your recall — your TOTAL recall, if you will, the kind that happens with a “final dirt nap.” Uh.

So, Wes Harris is this goofball bigot Tea Party goon and “founder and chairman of the Original North Phoenix Tea Party.” And he is real, real mad at John McCain for standing up for Huma Abedin.

“Have you ever read the Quran? I suggest you do so, because anyone that is a Muslim is a threat to this country, and that’s a fact,” Harris told the Arizona Capitol Times. “There is no such thing as a moderate Muslim. If they are Muslim they have to follow the Quran. That’s their religion and that’s their doctrine.”

Well, a) that’s fucking moronic, because obviously there are many kinds of Christians, and only the stupid ones “have to follow the Bible.” Then he said some shit about how it doesn’t matter if Abedin is Muslim Brotherhood; being Muslim is enough to have her, we don’t know, put in The Maiden, probably.

But what else does Wes Harris think?

Harris said he plans to circulate recall petitions against McCain. In his email, he said, “We must find a way to get rid of this embarrassment.”

The email Harris sent includes a forwarded item from the blog Bare Naked Islam that castigates McCain for defending “Islamic enemies of America” and attacking U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann, a Minnesota Republican and tea party favorite. The blog piece ends by saying, “Go to hell, Senator, it’s time for you to take your final dirt nap.”

We are going to go with “Harris never read all the way to the end of ‘Bare Naked Islam’s’ blog post, because he does not know how to read.”

[AZCapitolTimes]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here with a few helpful links to ease your transition to Disqus - Claiming Old Accounts - Claiming Your ID Comments [Looking into whether this is still possible - Shy] - Turning off Disqus Notifications. And, as always, remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Fox n Fiends

    No wonder Cindy McCain won't touch anybody.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      It's required by Sharia law.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    Remember back when the Tea Party was somewhat relevant?

    • nounverb911

      No.

      • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

        Exactly.

    • memzilla

      Relevant to… er, what, specifically? Nathan Bedford Forrest, perhaps?

    • noodlesalad

      Sure, Sam Adams and his boys did a helluva job in the 18th century.

    • WhatTheHeck

      I do sorta remember some comical, home-made, misspelt signs.
      Whatever happened to those jokers anyways?

      • emmelemm

        Those were good for a laugh.

    • Tundra Grifter

      You mean when real Americans would put their birth certificates into Baggies, take them to Town Hall meetings and then wave them around for all to see?

      I sure do remember that…

    • Radiotherapy

      No, but I remember when they thought teabagger was such a darling little term and we laughed and laughed and laughed.

    • Gleem McShineys

      I totally remember that! That was right after Nancy Pelosi impeached George W. Bush and put something on a table…?

      I think that's how it went, sure.

  • Barb_

    Oh please! John McCain wakes up every morning with pieces of Wes Harris in his stool. Wes doesn't stand a chance against John.

    • JustPixelz

      I really don't want to know how you know that.

    • emmelemm

      Your p is recovering nicely!

      • WhatTheHeck

        A miraculous recovery.

      • Barb_

        Thanks!

      • Tundra Grifter

        Yeh. She starts from scratch this morning and passes me by lunch.

        Doesn't seem fair – just because she is much funnier than I am? That's how things work around here?

        Couldn't happen to a better person.

        • HistoriCat

          That's right – free enterprise snark! If it was your Marxist snark then everyone would have 37 p-points – eh, comrade?

        • emmelemm

          Honestly, my personal discernment of how "p" works is that making many comments and getting many upfists does count, but having "followers" counts more, and since Barb made the new account, and presumably many people are simultaneously following her, p shoots up quickly.

          Snark off, she's more than earned all that "p", in my book at least.

    • GhostBuggy

      Why, is he shaped like an aircraft carrier?

      Of course, being a Tea Partier, he's likely as large as one.

    • YasserArraFeck

      Wallnuts may wake up every day, but there isn't enough Metamucil on the planet for him to produce a stool every morning. How do you think he maintains that level of grouchiness?

  • Trannysurprise

    Speaking as the only true representative of the North Phoenix Tea Party of the Reformation, that TRAITOR Wes Harris can Jam his triCorn hat up his Hoverround riding ass before we Will submit to his Tyranny!

    • LetUsBray

      The Judaean People's Front endorses this message.

      • MosesInvests

        Splitters!

    • anniegetyerfun

      Needz Moar randomly Capitalized letters.

  • Nibbler of Niblonia

    Religion is just what some crazy people wrote down in some really old books. Fuck this shit.

    • CommieLibunatic

      When you've got people wandering into camp with a camel and claiming to be in love back in Bullshit BC, nothing sets them straighter than fear of fiery damnation.

      • Nibbler of Niblonia

        What if the Bible was written by the Andrew Breitbarts and Kathryn Jean Lopezes of their time?

  • memzilla

    Say, you know who else believed an entire religion was a threat to his country… ?

    • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

      NOT the Founding Fathers, according to the GOP.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce?

    • IncenseDebate

      Me.

    • IncenseDebate

      Me. Wingnut Jeebus is bringing it all crashing down.

    • James Michael Curley

      Martin Luther?

    • JustPixelz

      Pontius Pilate?

    • Tundra Grifter

      William Penn?

    • SorosBot

      The Aldmeri Dominion?

    • Nibbler of Niblonia

      Boromir of Gondor?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Tomás de Torquemada?

  • Shypixel

    Fuck me.

    What is the world coming to when the man who gave us the Painted Whore back in '08 is the voice of reason today?

    • emmelemm

      I love your little avatar, Shypixel.

  • sbj1964

    Poor McCain defending the world from the Stupid Fucks in Teabagastan.Christian extremist that make Muslims look all warm,and fuzzy.

  • ChernobylSoup

    “Go to hell, Senator, it’s time for you to take your final dirt nap.”

    And that's just for springing Palin on us.

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    So long as we are talking about crazy shit written in holy books, I hope that fucker doesn't eat shrimp because the Bible says that is an abomination.

    • LetUsBray

      And if he's wearing clothes with mixed fabrics, he needs to be stoned to death.

      Stoned to death WITH VOTES, of course.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Not a problem … bloodstains come right out of cotton-polyester blend.

  • MissTaken

    “There is no such thing as a moderate Muslim. If they are Muslim they have to follow the Quran. That’s their religion and that’s their doctrine.

    Freedom of Religion, how's it work?

    • SorosBot

      I must just be imagining all those Muslims I've known who drink alcohol, eat pork and otherwise don't take their religion all strictly.

      • anniegetyerfun

        They're just infiltrating your life so that they can… infiltrate some more, I guess? I'm not really sure what you are supposed to do once fully embedded in the American lifestyle.

      • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

        That is just a cover so they can take away our freedom!

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid

      Catholic, Lutheran, Baptist, Methodist, take your pick!

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Well that's a good question…to mainline Protestants and liberal Catholics freedom of religion is just that…then you start to head into the swamp. The further right you go…Baptists, non-denoms and their like freedom of religion is more or less freedom of churches to push the country toward theocracy. Then you begin to head REALLY right…Pentacostals, Christian identity, etc. and what you find is freedom of religion only applies to really rightwing faiths and no Jews allowed. Then at the VERY furthest right wing we have the Dominionists where I'm guessing this wetfart on a Hoverround and his "naked Islam" buddy (translation:cover for seeking rentboys) belong. These assholes are not only ultra-authoritarian racist bigots but they think freedom of religion only belongs to them. They also feel the same way about the entire globe, that their version of Christianity MUST conquer everyone and everywhere….so that's a short rogues gallery of nutters as I see it.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Meghan McCain, Arizona turns it's lonely eyes to you.
    Ooo.
    Ooo.
    Ooo.

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Eh, they're just staring at her boobs…the loony right wing closet cases are yelling at her to wear a Burka

  • CrunchyKnee

    Hey tea bagger, I suggest that you read your violent holy book all the way through first, then shut the fuck up.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Heck, just reading about King David should be enough. Or the slaughter of the defenders of Jericho.

      But of course that's Old Testament, which Christians claim is irrelevant except for the passages about the gheys being bad, mmmkay.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Would that be the Bible, the Book of Mormon, or Atlas Shrugged? There are so many holy books these days…

    • CommieLibunatic

      I think my favorite one is about Jephthah. That guy swore that if God helped him win the battle of Ammon, he would kill the first person to greet him when he got home. He won and was greeted by his daughter, who he set on fire.

      Must be those family values that us atheists don't have which I hear so much about.

      • viennawoods13

        I still prefer Lot offering his virgin daughters to the crowd to do with as they wanted. and later, when he and said daughters were all that were left of the family (wife having been turned to salt), they took turns getting him drunk and fucking him, so daddums would have sons.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Just think: The Lot clan thought Gomorrah was lacking in values and virtue! Must have been one hell of a town.

          • viennawoods13

            Don't forget: hetero rape, hetero incest. It was the gay stuff that was bad.

      • gvvt

        Yeah, but he was sort of sad about it.

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      There's violence in the Bible? I never knew. But the only version I ever read was the International Joys of Smiling Jesus Children's Edition. It had pretty pictures!

    • GemlikeFlame

      Objection! Assumes facts not in evidence.

      Does anybody seriously think Tea Partiers can read?

  • bumfug

    Goddam it, the passport office has me on hold…

  • ChernobylSoup

    Next Tea Party rally I'm setting up a booth and selling mirrors, because those people obviously don't own any.

    • emmelemm

      "I'm starting with the man in the mirror
      I'm asking him to change his ways…"

      • emmelemm

        Aw, man, Y U delete yer comment?

        • ChernobylSoup

          Wasn't me. I ran out of tokens and my last $5 bill is all wrinkled; the machine won't accept it.

  • Extemporanus

    Well, John McCain is a vampire, so where else would he take his nap?

  • chascates

    "I would remind you that extremism in the defense of lunacy is no vice."

  • noodlesalad

    I'm also guessing this a-hole didn't find the "Bare Naked Islam" website while searching for political analysis.

  • nounverb911

    Wasn't there some reference in the bible to ten plagues?

  • docterry6973

    How soon they forget. Oh, that's right'; McCain lost because he wasn't conservative enough and refused to unleash the Thrilla from Wasilla. So ole Wes probably never liked him to begin with.

  • MissTaken

    Gays, blacks, Muslims, women, undocumented….BORING!

    Can't we find some new group to hate upon? I hear the Belgians are going to compete against USA!!1! at the Olympics.

    • nounverb911

      And they own Budweiser. Does that mean that Cindy McCain is Belgian now?

    • James Michael Curley

      I'm working on Albanian Roofers.

    • Goonemeritus

      Belgians, don’t get me started.

    • anniegetyerfun

      As always, I vote that we start picking on the Dutch.

      • CapeClod

        Either them or the Welsh.

        • anniegetyerfun

          Yes, OMG, the Welsh. They have no vowels.

        • va_real

          Yes, go with the Welsh- those of us in coastal regions may soon be needing advice about canals & dykes from the Dutch.

          Dylan Thomas- bah!

    • CapeClod

      Really. Fuck those Sprouts.

    • va_real

      Freedumb waffles!

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Needz moar Leviticus Ludicrous.

  • northernbassist

    This is GREAT news for John McCain!!

  • Estproph

    It's time for another episode of Those Goofy Hillbillies! This week, The Weekly Goofiest Hillbilly throws a rant against 2 billion people because they look different! Join the fun!

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      Just like every other episode.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroom-owl

    So nice to see Arizona in the news again. (This is becoming my personal meme).

  • coolhandnuke

    Harris's views were considered too mainstream, too huggy-feely for the South Phoenix Tea Party and they have demanded that McCain be returned to the Hanoi Hilton.

  • Nostrildamus

    I'm picturing this guy in Indian war paint, tossing boxes of tea into Boston harbor and grumbling about Muslims. That is why they did that, right?

  • SorosBot

    Why does the tea party hate the Constitution, and America?

    • miss_grundy

      Because they could only read and comprehend up to "We the People….."

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Because they hate our freedom?

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    This is a good day for John McCain?

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Is this the "lucky" charms of hate? Pink triangles, Yellow Stars, Green Cloverleafs, Red Sickles and Blue Crescents?

  • James Michael Curley

    Recall John McCain; try to remember why you fostered that imbecilic Alaskan on us.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Dang, I thought Megan was going to have a third boob implanted Total Recall style. That's a recall I could get behind.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Maybe we can just give them Texas, let the 'baggers, Conservatives and Republicans fight it out, and whoever is left can then talk to us about how to run the country.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Drop them all behind a fence, etc? I think I've heard that suggestion before.

  • Soylent Green

    Somebody please tell me where this guy works. I want to drive to that drive-thru and smack him through that little window.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Could you be a dear, and get me a chocolate shake and a small fry?

  • Goonemeritus

    I will be taking a holiday from Snarking on the good Senator and his talented daughter until such time as his actions warrant it again. Until than I say BRAVO Senator It’s nice to have you back.

    • SorosBot

      Just remember that he's responsible for unleashing the snowbilly on the rest of America.

      • Goonemeritus

        All is forgiven; it’s nice to have my maverick back.

  • ph7

    “Have you ever read the Quran? I suggest you do so, because anyone that is a Muslim is a threat to this country, and that’s a fact”

    Ending a sentence "and that's a fact" is my cue to disregard everything preceding those magical words. And that's a fact.

    • shelwood46

      I truly love that he implies he has read the Quran. You know that's not a fact. I doubt he's even read an entire blog post by someone who has read the Quran.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroomba

    Here he is… Wes Harris!

    • CrunchyKnee

      He does have TWO friends! Dude is on a roll.

      • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroom-owl

        Sorry–I changed the link to a more, uh "informative" one. (Yes, the original link had his two friends, Linda and Ed).

    • ph7

      I wonder what happened to Wes that caused him to end up this way? Keep an eye on him to see if he suddenly dyes his hair orange.

    • Tundra Grifter

      "Teachers Union Exposed – Arizona Watch Dog Group"

      I'm old enough to remember when the treachers and the cops were the good guys.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Ye gods. A million graphic designers collectively clutched their chests and died on viewing that webpage.

      Haha, I kid. By "a million" I really mean "one, who just happened to click on the link."

    • Jennyjen798

      Dang missed out on the original link. I wonder if that friendly Linda is my former mother in law's sister. She lives in that area and a tea partier type. Hmmm.

  • fartknocker

    I've been to North Phoenix a couple of times and I've met more than a few of these folks. They seem to be permanently pissed off. Given his dislike for Islam, I know he would go bat shit Bachmann crazy if he read about Buddhism.

  • CapeClod

    That's why we invaded Iraq. So they wouldn't be Muslim anymore.

    • anniegetyerfun

      It totally worked, too!

    • Swampgas_Man

      We were there to cut the heads off their leaders and convert them to Christianity. That's what the skinny blonde lady person said.

  • MacRaith

    Oh, Arizona. You are making South Carolina look sane by comparison, and that takes a lot of work.

    • Dumbedup

      and Mississippi is just keeping it's mouth shut

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      Instead of rising again the South just spread.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Who would ever have thought that encouraging the formation of an angry mob could lead to the formation of an angry mob?

  • SorosBot

    Wait, I thought the Total Recall, while not stated overtly, was clearly just a simulation if you followed all the clues?

  • MissTaken

    Originally, the Original North Phoenix Tea Party was part of the North Phoenix Tea Party until the original members of the North Phoenix Tea Party decided the Original North Phoenix Tea Party was too batshit to be a part of the North Phoenix Tea Party anymore.

    • MacRaith

      So does this mean that there's an Extra Crispy North Phoenix Tea Party?

    • Tundra Grifter

      Kind of like all those "Original Joe's" restaurants in and near San Francisco?

      • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Fraudulently_Joe

        Or the Original and/or Famous Ray's Pizza, in New York.

        • Tundra Grifter

          I remember when Santa explained that to Buddy T. Elf.

    • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Fraudulently_Joe

      Splitters!

  • Baconzgood

    So, what is the problem with Islam anyhow? I really don't see why it's now the new scary in America. Did I miss somthing? We didn't hate Islam on 9-10 or 9-12 did we? Why did it take 10 years to hate it so much?

    • emmelemm

      Well, for one thing, they don't eat bacon.

      • Baconzgood

        Neither do Jews but you don't see anyone ever oppressing them ever…oh wait, I think I read about them getting oppressed once a few years back.

    • CapeClod

      Well, some one has to be the big, scarey enemy. For some, this country can't work without one. If the Muslims all converted to Christianity, I wouldn't want to be a Sihk.

  • JustPixelz

    “Go to hell, Senator, it’s time for you to take your final dirt nap.”

    Imagine if someone this blog said something like that! It would be sirens on Drudge fer sure.

    • Devilette

      This from a guy who was convicted on a felony for aggravated assault using a gun. Way to go Harris, issuing threats against the Senator.

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      What a hateful and horrifying thing to say.
      Sounds like ol' Wes has an anger management problem.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Harris said he plans to circulate recall petitions against McCain. In his email, he said, “We must find a way to get rid of this embarrassment.”

    Suicide might be the only answer here, Harris ol' buddy, ol' pal.

    • miss_grundy

      Or that plan he pilots could suffer a malfunction but he sounds squirrelly enough to fly the thing into a federal building.

  • Mahousu

    When I saw Huma Abedin and "Bare Naked Islam" I was hoping for something rather different.

  • James Michael Curley

    Boobs Я Us!

  • Schmannnity

    Opportunistic Palin says what?

  • BloviateMe

    I bet Wes Harris would be a delightful dinner guest.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    And people like this will be able to legally carry guns at the Republican convention in Tampa in a few weeks.

    I don't envy the police and Secret Service at all. I don't see how they'll control that den of vipers.

    • emmelemm

      You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy, etc. etc….

      • viennawoods13

        Yeah, but how will Mitt get into the Cantina? They don't serve his kind in there!

    • ph7

      Not to mention half the crowd will resemble The Joker on a Hoveround.

  • tigernole

    only accept input and ideas from the "original" north phoenix tea party, do not accept imitations

  • BornInATrailer

    ♪♫ It's the final dirt nap ♫♪

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I blame this shit on the Internet.

  • Antispandex

    "The blog piece ends by saying, “Go to hell, Senator, it’s time for you to take your final dirt nap.”

    Doesn't sound any more threatening than a map with a bunch of targets on it. I'm sure nothing will come of it. But if it does, it's WRONG to EVER bring it up again. That would be playing politics.

    • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Fraudulently_Joe

      He just meant SURVEYOR'S DIRT. Because surveying is hard work, and sometimes you need to take naps, on the dirt.

      Nothing threatening at all, is what I'm saying.

  • rickmaci

    Wanna see ol' Wes Harris go into a rage that makes his face turn beet red and his eyeballs explode from out of their sockets. Tell him that a US Senator can not be recalled. Such an election effort violates the Supremacy Clause of the US Constitution. The seating of Congress people in the House and the Senate is solely the province of those respective chambers.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Fraudulently_Joe

    “Have you ever read the Quran? I suggest you do so, because anyone that is a Muslim is a threat to this country, and that’s a fact,” Harris told the Arizona Capitol Times

    CATCH-22! If you have read the Quran, or just eaten Halal food by accident, or correctly pronounced the name of an Arab country, that automatically turns you into a Muslim, because that's how magic spells work.

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      Well damn, I guess I'm Muslim. Maybe the infiltration is working so well that there are millions of people in the U.S. who are Muslim and don't even know it!! *GASP!*

  • mavenmaven

    I'm really looking forward to the Republican convention, ie "thunderdome".

  • savethispatient

    “Have you ever read the Quran? I suggest you do so, because anyone that is a Muslim is a threat to this country, and that’s a fact,” Harris told the Arizona Capitol Times.

    Note: Wes Harris has never actually read the Quran, but did read a blog post by a guy who claims he has.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    lighten up francis.

  • http://protoplasm.wordpress.com/ Preacher_Griz

    We simply can not further tolerate the fact that Capt Sen John McCain is not in full Communion with Conservative Christian party principles

  • Butch_Wagstaff

    He heard it was a book that Muslims read. Since Muslims are bad. The Qur'an is bad. He knows this because someone said it on the radio. Then he saw someone say so on that satellite tv show. Then he read it on Internet. .

  • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

    Let's bring back the Crusades… that'll teach them Mooslims! We'll fight them right here on our own fruited plains! They were so much fun the last time around.

  • DahBoner

    Bare Naked Islam

    Worst jamband EVER!!!

  • rocktonsam

    I'm changing my name from Max Power to Wes Harris

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    With luck, the FBI will pay attention when Harris orders 6,000 rounds of ammo on the interwebs.

  • fishskicanoe

    Why do they stay. Seriously. Why do the McCains and Lugars and even, god help me, Scott Brown stay in a party that has been taken over by crypto-fascists (always loved that word) and mouth breathing racists.Don't they understand that their continued presence in the GOP only empowers the Baggers and the David Dukes? Why isn't the sane (and mostly sane) component of the GOP starting their own Party of not crazy conservatives. Copy Canada and call themselves the Progressive Conservatives. (That would really confuse the Beckians and the Cantorese). And guess what. I think they'd still beat people in three way races in those conservative bastions of Arizona and Indiana. As it is, I have no sympathy for Walnuts as his own people tell him to take an early dirt nap. And no patience for people like Lugar and Huntsman who do nothing to save the rest of us from those bonafide lunatics that they know control the modern GOP.

  • TribecaMike

    Fortunately for him, Wes Harris is a war hero, or else he'd be castigated by his fellow righties.

    Sorry, I was experiencing an eighties flashback there for a moment.

  • ttommyunger

    McCain will be best remembered for his failures: to stay airborne, to grift without getting caught, to win his party's Presidential Nomination. Wes is jonesing to take down a loser. Geez!