GENDER STUDIES  12:15 pm July 24, 2012

‘American Thinker’ Magazine: Why Does Barack Obama Refuse To Be A Republican Woman?

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Why won't Barack Obama do sex to Republican ladies?Grace Harley went to a thing, for ladies, and she almost left because it was full of stupid feminists like Nancy Pelosi saying women have to work harder than men to be seen as at all capable and what kind of nonsense is that? But then Grace Harley realized she was there for a purpose, and that purpose was to describe each of the speakers’ outfits and then browbeat anyone with whom she came into contact.

And so I did, attempting to add comments here and there correcting incomplete or outright incorrect statements. The bright and shining young interns sitting next to me were fed one-line remarks or scribbled questions throughout the forum in order to help guide their thinking. Still, I am concerned for the others in the room whom I was not able to speak with during the breaks and meals. My prayer expanded to them — that their intellects and tender hearts would filter out any harmful perspectives being touted by the panel speakers.

Grace Harley sounds nice.

Grace Harley’s main point, though, is that fuck Barack Obama for not surrounding himself with Republican women (probably since they mostly want him to die).

To boil down the message of the day to simple terms, it can be found in the title of headline speaker Nancy Pelosi’s book, Know Your Power. Attired in immaculate crème feminine slacks, crème silk blouse, crème high heels, and a strand of large crème pearls, Mrs. Pelosi presented as a most engaging lady of a certain age. She was personable, quickly relating to the audience of educated and accomplished women seeking “more” out of life. She preached a gospel of Cause and Purpose: “… my despair over the fact that one in five children in America is in poverty.” This was given as the driving force for her initial foray into what is called public service today. “For over two hundred years, we’ve been playing in someone else’s playing field. We have to create our own environment. We need to reduce the role of money and increase the level of civility to get more women in politics.” She explained that the breadbox is how people vote at the ballot box.

A flawless and golden Mika Brzezinski (co-host of MSNBC’s Morning Joe) interviewed Senior Advisor to Obama Valerie Jarrett. These two glowing and groomed gals chatted like old friends about the difficulties of being female in a man’s world. They repeated the tired phrases of all the other feminists: you must work harder than anyone else, you must believe in yourself, you must promote your résumé, you must find female mentors, you must help pave the way for other women coming up behind you. After all, women are superior to men in all ways. Aren’t they? (Audience laughter here.)

But wait: the day was not lost, for on the menu — just to stay fair and balanced — were three ladies I found worth hearing. Linda Rabbitt (founder, chairwoman, and CEO of Rand Construction Corp.) heads up a vast team of employees and manages an average annual volume of over $250 million. Another admirable lady was Representative Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-WA), who came to office from a family-owned orchard and an education from Pensacola Christian College.

The most inspiring speaker in my opinion was from the great state of Texas: longtime Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-TX). Of all the impressive women who spoke that day, Senator Hutchison presented to me an example of what I would most like to represent. She was professionally attired in a pretty kelly green and white skirt-suit. She sat in ladylike fashion, with her skirt covering her knees, and she spoke in low, soft tones. Never once did she speak a word against anyone — not even men. In fact, she was complimentary of the other women in Congress and expressed appreciation for her baby shower hosted by Hillary Clinton and the ladies who join her regularly for dinners. She did not mention (to my memory) any current or past president. She did humbly but confidently speak about her consideration of running for the highest office, but then she spoke of her two adopted children. At one point she turned to the audience and strongly stated that the number-one priority of her job was to “serve the constituents.” She was the only speaker who made this type of remark.

I doubt that these last three mentioned ladies (Ms. Rabbitt, Representative Rodgers, Senator Hutchison) would be found on the long, long list of women who surround the Obama administration. They do not fit the profile of “goddess.” In fact, just the opposite. These competent, calm, and conservative ladies are just what a successful president should be seeking.

Obama’s cult of goddesses will one day find that they no longer need any male to promote “the causes of women.” And he will find himself with no one to worship and no one to worship him.

That was so long! Sorry! But we just couldn’t stop. Because what on earth is she talking about, this Rev. Grace Harley? Oh, right, she is a reverend, it has something to do with TD Jakes and Bill Clinton, and also she runs an ex-gay ministry because she used to be f-to-m transgender, but also a lesbian, but now Jesus has healed her and taken “Joe” out of her soul, which makes us sad that she couldn’t just be Joe and be happy, or be a woman and a lesbian and just be happy. But it seems like maybe she is happy just telling other people’s interns what to think and being a bossypants and hating the president, so that’s cool. We really want her to be happy, for realsies. You keep being you, Rev. Grace Harley, whatever you decide that “you” is. We at Wonket support your right to be a dick or have one or whatever floats it, if you want one that floats.

[AmericanThinker]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 187 comments }

prommie July 24, 2012 at 12:17 pm

The Jezebelation of Wonkette continues apace.

nounverb911 July 24, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Just as long as Nick Denton stays far far away.

Chet Kincaid July 24, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Women. Learn to love them or get off the planet!

prommie July 24, 2012 at 12:39 pm

I don't love people in general, but I prefer chicks over dudes any day. I don't mean for sexing and sandwich-making, I mean for coworkers and bosses, and freinds.

Boojum July 24, 2012 at 9:36 pm

What, you don't like sex and sammiches or just that you discriminate against women in relation to the aforementioned conjugal comestibles?

Srsly, womens are far better at the friends thing, except (mostly) when killin' stuff.

SorosBot July 24, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Nah, if this were the Jezebel of today Wonkette would be joining in on the style talk instead of mocking it.

prommie July 24, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Not to mention a lot of "come see the oppression inherent in the system, this is what I have been going on about" war stories.

Bezoar July 24, 2012 at 12:49 pm

"Oh, now we see the violence inherent in the system!"

One of the, maybe the funniest movie scene of all time.

prommie July 24, 2012 at 12:51 pm

In just seconds, it nails that type, the ideological martyr. Of which Jezebellians are only one of many flavors.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 3:00 pm

It would have to go a long way to beat the stoning scene in "Life of Brian".

nounverb911 July 24, 2012 at 12:18 pm

‘American Thinker’
American's can think?

Buckminster July 24, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Sounds like a joke in there to me.

Boojum July 24, 2012 at 9:37 pm

A dick joke, at that.

BaldarTFlagass July 24, 2012 at 12:29 pm

I don't think the ones that write for that publication can.

Baconzgood July 24, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Hey. Iz an USAmerican and I thunk sometimes good brain smart stuff.

HistoriCat July 24, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Oh sure – you come back NOW after the weekend's drama is over and done with.

Baconzgood July 24, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Sorry. I really didn't hear of it until yesterday. I didn't listen to a radio or look at a TV or newspaper in a week. Fucked up stuff.

HistoriCat July 24, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Not the real life drama – the Wonkette drama!
http://wonkette.com/478960/congratulations-michig

chicken_thief July 24, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Weekend's drama?

HistoriCat July 24, 2012 at 1:04 pm

See my reply to Baconz above or see Chet's comment: http://wonkette.com/478960/congratulations-michig

CindynEncinitas July 24, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Yes and they can punctuate, too!

Biel_ze_Bubba July 24, 2012 at 6:26 pm

They picked that name in an ironic way, right?

Callyson July 24, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Attired in immaculate crème feminine slacks, crème silk blouse, crème high heels, and a strand of large crème pearls

Grace Harley's rather obsessed with crème, isn't she? Well, that explains a lot…

anniegetyerfun July 24, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Is she referring to a color or some sort of fabric? Pearls and shoes can't be made of the same material, can they?

elviouslyqueer July 24, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Sounds like somebody's got a widdle cwush on Nancy.

Chet Kincaid July 24, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Sounds like somebody wants to be the meat in a Mika-Valerie sandwich.

freakishlywrong July 24, 2012 at 12:29 pm

She is inferring "crème" is elitist and lefty. As is "golden". The respectable, sensible Republican women were all in cloth coats.

Preferred Customer July 24, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Do not want to think about Nancy Pelosi attired in a pearl necklace. Do not want at all.

kittensdontlie July 24, 2012 at 12:52 pm

She became obsessively hungry while waiting for her order of crème brulee to arrive.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Hey, who wouldn't?

Nibbler of Niblonia July 24, 2012 at 1:09 pm

notice how the women with whom she disagrees are painted as superficial fashionistas, but the ones she likes are touted as titans of industry.

what a cunt

worrytron July 24, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Grace Harley? Pfah. I prefer her sister, Heaven Chevy.

Radiotherapy July 24, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Or Candi Riceburner.

worrytron July 24, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Sunday Hyundai

chicken_thief July 24, 2012 at 12:39 pm

That particular Harley has been ridden hard. Really hard…

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Blessed Indian.

What? An Indian is a vintage motorcycle.

Barb_ July 24, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Speaking of floating dicks………..
Mike Huckabee Calls For National 'Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day'
Chicken shit man is trying to sell shitty chicken to chickens. It's poultry in motion.

Did anyone see the poster on Jon Stewart's show last night of the Chic-Fil-A cow, holding a sign that said: Eat Mor Cok?

SorosBot July 24, 2012 at 12:23 pm

He's very, very angry that decent people are boycotting them for being homophobic bigots, which is apparently now a form of tyranny.

nounverb911 July 24, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Your turn.

Generation[redacted] July 24, 2012 at 12:52 pm

We don't stand a chance boycotting. They're fatter and can eat more than we can.

nounverb911 July 24, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Bring a Bigot to Lunch day?

Callyson July 24, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Someone HAS to make that into a T – shirt. If only I had the start – up capital…

Schmannnity July 24, 2012 at 12:32 pm

He's just saying it for the complementary food. He's got some hungry boys to feed.

Beowoof July 24, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Judging by their level of homophobia, I am sure they are eating a lot now. It is sad when the best news sources out there are two guys on Comedy Central and Rolling Stone.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 3:24 pm

I say we all hold hands and go to Chik-Fil-A wearing assless chaps and tongue-kiss each other repeatedly.
Also, we should do something to express our disapproval of their homophobia.

freakishlywrong July 24, 2012 at 12:20 pm

She reminds me of a cuntier Nooners, if that's possible.

Guppy July 24, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Nooners being a bitter "ex-" lesbian really would explain a lot…

Chet Kincaid July 24, 2012 at 12:20 pm

That is just…wow.

KeepFnThatOwl July 24, 2012 at 12:21 pm

My prayer expanded to them — that their intellects and tender hearts would filter out any harmful perspectives being touted by the panel speakers Grace Harley.

Oblios_Cap July 24, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Obama’s cult of goddesses will one day find that they no longer need any male to promote “the causes of women.” And he will find himself with no one to worship and no one to worship him.

There's a real WTF moment.

Buckminster July 24, 2012 at 12:30 pm

This person needs to return to the Mothership. STAT!

SorosBot July 24, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Yeah, all those feminists are lying when they claim sexism still is a problem in America today! Now let me go back to judging these accomplished politicians based on their dresses.

Billmatic July 24, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Don't forget complimenting their ladiness for not taking any extreme positions and being quiet and demure, like a good woman.

Thurman Munster IV July 24, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Rev. Harley, shut the fuck up and get me a beer

Oblios_Cap July 24, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Iron my shirt! *slap*

Buckminster July 24, 2012 at 12:31 pm

And make me a frickin' sandwich while you're out there!

Baconzgood July 24, 2012 at 12:38 pm

AND CUT OFF THE GOD DAMN CRUST THIS TIME BITCH!!!!

chicken_thief July 24, 2012 at 12:41 pm

The heels is jes fucking bookends for the loaf, dumb bitch – not for making sammiches!!!!

Beowoof July 24, 2012 at 1:01 pm

You forgot to tell her to finish the blow job first.

miss_grundy July 24, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Oh, rats, I thought you were going to tell her to get you a sammitch…..

Billmatic July 24, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Gotta "guide that thinking" to the right, unless it's to the left then it's mind control, propaganda, brain washing and/or social engineering.

UnholyMoses July 24, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Accomplished women sharing their secrets of success and encouraging women to think about following generations? Brainwashing!

Having some confused "reverend" tell them what to do instead, because she's convinced she's superior (despite practically no one having ever heard of her)? Priceless!

For reality, there are the likes of Nancy Pelosi.

For clinical fucking stupidity, there's Republitard.

BaldarTFlagass July 24, 2012 at 12:25 pm

That's a lot of clothing descriptions.

chicken_thief July 24, 2012 at 12:42 pm

But not one word about who had pokies. What a waste of print.

kittensdontlie July 24, 2012 at 12:58 pm

"You can take the woman out of the gender, but you can't take gender out of the woman"–Joe Biden

nounverb911 July 24, 2012 at 12:25 pm

That's one confused man women person.

freakishlywrong July 24, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Her prose is so…dewy..and..moist. Although, dripping in venom.

Guppy July 24, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Putting the "purple" in "purple prose," so to speak.

Callyson July 24, 2012 at 12:25 pm

"Former" lesbian? I've read less about the sartorial choices of female politicians in Vogue for heaven's sake…

SorosBot July 24, 2012 at 12:26 pm

"The most inspiring speaker in my opinion was from the great state of Texas: longtime Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-TX"

Now I find this very hard to believe; for one thing, in no way can the country's worst state be called "great".

HistoriCat July 24, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Maybe she meant great as in "really big".

SorosBot July 24, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Great meaning large or immense; we use it in the pejorative sense!

eggsacklywright July 24, 2012 at 12:26 pm

So she's a graduate of the Marcus Bachmann institute of gay pogromming?

MissTaken July 24, 2012 at 12:26 pm

So should I wear the crème pearls with my crème pantsuit or not? I'm a silly woman so that's all I really care about.

SorosBot July 24, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Shouldn't you have learned that in finishing school, while working on your MRS degree?

Jus_Wonderin July 24, 2012 at 1:05 pm

All this thinking is not getting us guys a beer and a sammich!

Estproph July 24, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Or sucking me off, either. Come on, this dick isn't going to suck itself!

AncienReggie July 24, 2012 at 1:32 pm

I'm lost here: Is creme anything like ecru? Because, dessert.

OneYieldRegular July 24, 2012 at 2:16 pm

"There I was drinking a café crème (with my usual splash of crème de Cassis), and my oh my, with all that crème – crème blouse, crème slacks, crème heels, crème pearl necklace, crème complexion – I must say that the Speaker really looked like the crème of the crop. That Marxist trollop."

BaldarTFlagass July 24, 2012 at 12:26 pm

"an education from Pensacola Christian College. "

If you went to a school that has "Baptist" or "Christian" or "Bible" in the name, you did not receive an education, you received an indoctrination.

Oblios_Cap July 24, 2012 at 12:30 pm

We've got a clown here at work that always slips in the fact he's in grad school in any conversation he can work it into. He's going to an online seminary. What a jackass.

Buckminster July 24, 2012 at 12:33 pm

True, BaldarTFlagass

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 3:31 pm

I'm a proud graduate of Ed & Larry University.

Chet Kincaid July 24, 2012 at 12:27 pm

So Grace Harley is the Queen of Bitter Old Anti-Feminist Busy-Body-Biddy Snark?

SexySmurf July 24, 2012 at 12:27 pm

In fact, she was complimentary of the other women in Congress and expressed appreciation for her baby shower hosted by Hillary Clinton and the ladies who join her regularly for dinners.

Grace Harley thinks Obama should surround himself with broads talking about their baby showers and girls' nights out because Grace Harley wants Obama to blow his brains out.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 3:32 pm

"Grace Harley thinks Obama should surround himself with broads talking about their baby showers and girls' nights out because Grace Harley wants to blow Obama."

Fixed

unclejeems July 24, 2012 at 12:27 pm

So now perspectives are being touted. Who knew?

Baconzgood July 24, 2012 at 12:27 pm

"My prayer expanded to them — that their intellects and tender hearts would filter out any harmful perspectives being touted by the panel speakers."

What the fuck does that mean?

Oblios_Cap July 24, 2012 at 12:30 pm

She likes organ meat?

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Not as much as she did when she was "Joe", but yes.

prommie July 24, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Its a longer way of saying the classic condescending "bless their hearts."

Fraudulently_Joe July 24, 2012 at 12:27 pm

As if we needed yet another data point of evidence that "ex-gay" therapy was a complete sham:

Obama’s cult of goddesses will one day find that they no longer need any male to promote “the causes of women.”

Volumes, spoken in that one sentence.

iburl July 24, 2012 at 12:28 pm

"She was professionally attired in a pretty kelly green and white skirt-suit. She sat in ladylike fashion, with her skirt covering her knees, and she spoke in low, soft tones. "

And she's a war hawk who likes executing people and never met a right wing cause she didn't embrace fully, but so genteel.

anniegetyerfun July 24, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Not mentioned, but at least subtly implied, was that she wore a skirt that covered her knees so that you couldn't see the aspirin between them. Because she's a fucking LADY.

viennawoods13 July 24, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Or non-fucking, as the case may be.

KeepFnThatOwl July 24, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Next time, mention earlier that your subject is a reverend. That way, I can go back to the root page and keep refreshing.

mrpuma2u July 24, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Well gawd knows we don't want any dirty, hippy, lovey, forgiving godess cult stuff. We want angry wrathful skygods, who will flick you into hell at the slightest whiff of sinful discretions. Gawds who demand you conduct yourself with, well, grace.

mrblifil July 24, 2012 at 12:28 pm

So Obama wasn't there, nobody talked about him much, and nobody used the word Goddess in any way shape or form, except for the author of the American Thinker article. No wonder Uncle Sam looks so constipated, that's one noxious pile of shit brewing up in there.

Maman July 24, 2012 at 12:28 pm

"they mostly want him to die"? More likely that they are afraid of him.

SorosBot July 24, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Kay Bailey Hutchison was so great! She didn't talk about anything unladylike like politics but kept her talk to proper women's issues like serving dinner and babies. There's a woman who really knows her place!

Grr.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 3:34 pm

And she spoke softly and quietly.

Schmannnity July 24, 2012 at 12:28 pm

What I want to know is who made the sandwiches at this lunch.

Beowoof July 24, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Jesus and Luz back in the kitchen.

Caelan Aegana July 24, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Rev. Harley knows that the only way to get ahead as a woman is on your back, legs up, no talking.

Mumbletypeg July 24, 2012 at 12:30 pm

A flawless and golden Mika Brzezinski …Obama’s cult of goddesses

Ms. Harley's suggestion Obama pal around with more noteworthies from across the bridge got totally sideswiped by her quite evident goddess-envy.

ETA: that's "goddess," not godless. I'm still reeling from the brilliant thoughts exchanged among atheists & ilk on last night's thread. Circumstances keep playing out the way they do in our collective line of vision and I may "go Galt godless" yet~

SayItWithWookies July 24, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Well, if one already has the wisdom and compassion without the dogmatism, the deity part just sort of dwindles into irrelevance — nonetheless, the possibility does make me feel all tingly inside.

hagajim July 24, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Grace Harley blows about as much hot air as my Harley, when I rev it. Jeez.

Beowoof July 24, 2012 at 1:05 pm

I don't know about you, but the sound of my Harley blowing air is so much more pleasing than Grace blowing anything.

Missyb9479 July 24, 2012 at 12:31 pm

"They repeated the tired phrases of all the other feminists: you must work harder than anyone else, you must believe in yourself, you must promote your résumé, you must find female mentors, you must help pave the way for other women coming up behind you. "

Which part of this is the bad advice, Grace? Do you not need to work harder to succeed? Don't we give this same advice to young men all the time? Should you not believe in yourself? No, belive in God to magically give you a job. Or, really, believe in your husband because why are you even working. Should you not have mentors who share your background (whatever that is- my mentors are all socially anxious dorks, because I need to learn how to succeed with that).

Wait, the lady from Texas talked about her babies. And wore a skirt. That's all you are supposed to do to be a good woman. Baby and legs.

Baconzgood July 24, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Why wasn't this Grace cunt making me a sandwich?

Buckminster July 24, 2012 at 12:32 pm

I think when they did the transgender thing, they took out part of her brain that deals in critical thinking. Also the governor that keeps a person from going on and on whenever they get a chance to write.

Chet Kincaid July 24, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Obama's cabinet should consist of Lutheran Church Matrons then, am I getting this right?

sbj1964 July 24, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Feministas? I once had a women introduce herself as a Feminist,Anarcho Communist,Atheist,with strong lesbian leanings ,but still likes a solid relationship with a man. I bet she's fun at parties.

Fraudulently_Joe July 24, 2012 at 12:36 pm

I think I'm already in love.

sbj1964 July 24, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Oh,and by the way also an Ex-Muslim.Mom look who I brought home to meet you!

Chet Kincaid July 24, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Isn't that the Gender Oppression Studies professor who seduced you when you were a freshman at Atheist Liberal College?

Beowoof July 24, 2012 at 1:06 pm

How does she pronounce her name, Gyna or Geena? That is the clue.

Billmatic July 24, 2012 at 12:32 pm

If she's confused about her sexuality, I suggest she watches Michelle Jenneke shimmy for a few minutes to make sure.

deanbooth July 24, 2012 at 12:33 pm

She's confusing vanity with morality. "I wish that all men were as I am." — St. Paul

Radiotherapy July 24, 2012 at 12:33 pm

So let me get this straight, Grace was a lesbian cocaine addict who became a man and now is active in Homosexuals Anonymous (HA ha) and is lecturing us about créme de la créme and Jesus??!!? What. Everr.

SayItWithWookies July 24, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Men get to the top by being tough, no-nonsense, hardheaded decisive leaders. Women make it to the top by dressing nice, being demure, not talking too much or too loud and leaving the controversial issues to the side so they can plan baby showers. I'm sure that's exactly the advice that Margaret Thatcher, Indira Gandhi and Benazir Bhutto would give, too.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Golda Meir, however, would respond with a heartfelt, "Kish mir in tuchus".

SayItWithWookies July 24, 2012 at 4:09 pm

How could I forget Golda? Now there was a chick you wouldn't want to mess with.

HempDogbane July 24, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Remember that time One-L fed her tongue to W? She was just trying to help him out.

NorthStarSpanx July 24, 2012 at 12:34 pm

I thought the only way to display your real feminism was to cite Title IX.

Baconzgood July 24, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Sooooo……She mentions again and again what these women were wearing? Way to pigeonhole women.

pepperpat July 24, 2012 at 12:36 pm

I didn't know human beings still wrote like that.

anniegetyerfun July 24, 2012 at 1:04 pm

I assumed that only The Onion did so.

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 24, 2012 at 12:38 pm

She is trying way too hard to be a woman.

Designer_Rants July 24, 2012 at 12:39 pm

hm. That was weird.

Mumbletypeg July 24, 2012 at 12:53 pm

I stopped reading before I got to the gooey, crème-filled center.
Should've stayed the course though. I'd kinda like to find out what happens to the Linda Rabbit character…

Chet Kincaid July 24, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Good God, I thought your final paragraph was snark. That is her actual biography!!

BaldarTFlagass July 24, 2012 at 12:48 pm

"she used to be f-to-m transgender, but also a lesbian, but now Jesus has healed her"

So she had a crank built, and then had it cut back off again. Isn't there some kind of addiction-to-surgery type of psychological condition?

SpeedoFart July 24, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I refuse to believe it. She has no Wikipedia page.

BaldarTFlagass July 24, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Jesus Christ, they already remade "The Wicker Man" once.

Baconzgood July 24, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Hey grace. Just because you can type doesn't mean if you slam words together they will make sense.

Thurman Munster IV July 24, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Ah conservatives, can't live with them, can't chop them up and dispose of them in hydrochloric acid like on Breaking Bad. Moderator: just joking!

imissopus July 24, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Chop them up…with votes!

Exhausted66 July 24, 2012 at 12:42 pm

What?

Terry July 24, 2012 at 12:43 pm

" The bright and shining young interns sitting next to me"

Here is her real problem. The seated her in the kiddie section with the interns.

"Grace Harley’s main point, though, is that fuck Barack Obama for not surrounding himself with Republican women (probably since they mostly want him to die)."

Because surrounding himself with Republican women worked out so well for George W. Bush.

" because she used to be f-to-m transgender"

You mean after she went through the hormone treatments and surgical reconstruction, she had it undone? Ack. Her privates must look like Michael Jackson's nose.

ttommyunger July 24, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Now I understand why they say Grace Harley's breath smells like Peggy Noonan's taint.

Beowoof July 24, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Sort of like low tide after a fish die off?

GregComlish July 24, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Obama’s cult of goddesses will one day find that they no longer need any male to promote “the causes of women.” And he will find himself with no one to worship and no one to worship him.

Well, yeah, obviously, but Barry won't even need anybody to worship him at that point. Once Obama's cult of goddesses seizes power then we will already be living in a socialist lesbian matriarchy wherein all men will be strap-on sodomized for the glory of Womynkind as per the feminist agenda.

BaldarTFlagass July 24, 2012 at 1:01 pm

I, for one, do not welcome our strap-on wearing man-sodomizing overmistresses. Ouch!

randcoolcatdaddy July 24, 2012 at 12:44 pm

"Senator Hutchison presented to me an example of what I would most like to represent. She was professionally attired in a pretty kelly green and white skirt-suit. She sat in ladylike fashion, with her skirt covering her knees, and she spoke in low, soft tones."

Heaven knows that experience and accomplish count for nothing without the proper hat and accessories. Just ask any gay man.

BaldarTFlagass July 24, 2012 at 12:45 pm

"Representative Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-WA), who came to office from a family-owned orchard"

So shouldn't it say Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-Granny Smith)?

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Having lived in Oregon for ten years and more, I can safely state that every single person from Washington State grew up on an apple orchard.

b[redact]opple July 24, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Kay Bailey Hutchison baby shower? I'm confused–isn't she about 75 years old?

MrsConclusion July 24, 2012 at 12:48 pm

So, to sum up: she was a woman, who was a Lesbian, and then became (or tried to become) a man, but gave that up and resumed/began being a woman (straight?) again–and she's having opinions on how other women should dress, behave, and live?

As Bob Newhart said in an old comedy routine: Is this a gag? Is this one of the guys at the office?

SorosBot July 24, 2012 at 12:53 pm

That's because religion really fucks up peoples' minds.

Dr_Zoidberg July 24, 2012 at 12:49 pm

This can't be real.

Dr_Zoidberg July 24, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Hell, I'm reading 'Little Women' right now and they don't even talk like that.

chicken_thief July 24, 2012 at 12:56 pm

"Oh, right, she is a reverend, it has something to do with TD Jakes and Bill Clinton, and also she runs an ex-gay ministry because she used to be f-to-m transgender, but also a lesbian, but now Jesus has healed her and taken “Joe” out of her soul,…"

Jeezus Christ, this "gal" just can't make up her mind. Let's cut to the chase – she sporting a cock or pussy? When she eats at the Y – hot dogs or tacos?

Chet Kincaid July 24, 2012 at 12:57 pm
Not_So_Much July 24, 2012 at 12:59 pm

This didn't make me crème my jeans in the way I'd hoped.

Spurning Beer July 24, 2012 at 1:03 pm

I could walk to Pensacola Christian College from where I'm sitting in about ten minutes. Or, as I call it, "Vocation Bible School."

Oh, and incidentally, I'm wearing an impeccable dark sage knit shirt, creaseless grey cotton slacks, and casual brown shoes.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 3:48 pm

See, now with the sage shirt and brown shoes, I woulda gone with the khaki Dockers, but then I'm a Winter.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 24, 2012 at 1:10 pm

So she's a former transgendered person? Between that and all the Jeebusing, it's a miracle she can walk in a straight line. Coherent thoughts, I'm afraid, are out of the question.

Jus_Wonderin July 24, 2012 at 1:10 pm

If you plan to Google image her/him. Do be careful to spell the last name correctly. Harley not Hartley. I have found the results of that error are NSFW.

qwerty42 July 24, 2012 at 1:13 pm

The … uh … comments at the site sure take you back. To the 50's. But there is the obligatory occasional racist remark that just has to be made. I have to assume the commenters (why do I think "old white guys"?) don't know anything about the trans stuff.

kittensdontlie July 24, 2012 at 1:15 pm

I am alone here or were BObama and Ms. Pelosi about to go mouth-to-mouth on this post's photo? His mouth closed, hers half open in expectation of a pleasant surprise.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Suggested alt text: "Pucker up, Buttercup".

kittensdontlie July 24, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Or with a little Marvin Gaye style…."Let's get it on….let's get it on….

prommie July 24, 2012 at 1:15 pm

I understand that "Hey, buddy, thats great" works good too.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 3:33 pm

"All due respect…"

Boojum July 24, 2012 at 9:47 pm

I hear lawyers say that to judges and it makes me want to duck.

Estproph July 24, 2012 at 1:33 pm

The Very Impressive Lady Senator (Senatoress?) Kay Bailey Hutchinson never said a word against anyone – NOT EVEN MEN. My my! How is that even possible?

fuflans July 24, 2012 at 1:34 pm

good to have you back baconz.

(100% snark free)

fuflans July 24, 2012 at 1:39 pm

so the feminists dress like goddesses and the conservatives dress like the 50s?

sounds about right.

OneYieldRegular July 24, 2012 at 2:05 pm

And we have a winner. Other contenders for this year's Bulwer-Lytton contest should just give up right now.

didgen July 24, 2012 at 2:19 pm

I an physically unable to envision Nancy Pelosi as a goddess.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 2:46 pm

"Attired in immaculate crème feminine slacks, crème silk blouse, crème high heels, and a strand of large crème pearls"

If Ms. Harley [THAT ought to give her an ulcer!] is referring to the *color* of the garments Nancy Pelosi was wearing, the word is "cream". If Nancy Pelosi was wearing *creme* garments, they were made out of cake frosting.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda, Democrats and liberals are so angry and hateful, Democratic women are ugly, hairy-legged, man-hating feminists, they're all so ANGRY, I'd like to SCRATCH THEIR ANGRY EYES OUT WHARRRGARRBL…

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 2:58 pm

"she used to be f-to-m transgender, but also a lesbian, but now Jesus has healed her and taken “Joe” out of her soul, which makes us sad that she couldn’t just be Joe and be happy, or be a woman and a lesbian and just be happy"

Look, nothing against lesbians or gay people or transgendered people or anybody else, but It DOES lend a slightly different context to her article in which she gives detailed descriptions about what every woman is wearing; repeatedly uses adjectives like "immaculate", "flawless", "golden", "glowing", "ladylike" and "goddess"; and infers, from a speech saying, "you must work harder than anyone else, you must believe in yourself, you must promote your résumé, you must find female mentors, you must help pave the way for other women coming up behind you", that what the speaker REALLY means is, "After all, women are superior to men in all ways. Aren’t they?"

DahBoner July 24, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Why would Conservatives bother to read this magazine?

The whole point of being Conservative is that you don't have to waste time thinking…

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Grace Harley should team up with Marty Golden: http://wonkette.com/477290/shrill-feminists-force

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 3:39 pm

"Are there any… women… here?"

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 3:45 pm

"she used to be f-to-m transgender, but also a lesbian, but now Jesus has healed her and taken “Joe” out of her soul"

OK, if I'm to understand this correctly…
she started out as a girl, became a boy, went back to being a girl (but one who likes girls), and asked Jeebus to make her a girl who likes boys (or who maybe doesn't like anybody, but who DEFINITELY doesn't like girls)…
have I got that right?
And anyone is surprised that she can't think straight?

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Well, at least she has two words in her vocabulary — "lady" and "creme". That puts her one up on Darrell Issa.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 4:06 pm

"Obama’s cult of goddesses will one day find that they no longer need any male to promote “the causes of women.” And he will find himself with no one to worship and no one to worship him."

What is this I don't even?

Is s/he saying that all women who support ("worship") President Obama are weak, coat-tail-riding users who only like him because they think he'll fight their battles for them, and once they don't need that any longer, we'll drop him like a loose button, because he has no positive qualities?

And why would someone who "cremes" her bloomers at the thought of a woman who sits "in ladylike fashion, with her skirt covering her knees, and she spoke in low, soft tones. Never once did she speak a word against anyone" object to women needing a man to act on their behalf?

Women cannot simultaneously be too co-dependent and not co-dependent enough. Ms. Grace seems confused about a good many things, but would it be asking too much of her to make up her alleged mind, at least within the context of her own words in one article?

viennawoods13 July 24, 2012 at 4:30 pm

The "lady" doth protest too much, methinks.

dopper0189 July 25, 2012 at 5:27 am

"Oh, right, she is a reverend, it has something to do with TD Jakes and Bill Clinton, and also she runs an ex-gay ministry because she used to be f-to-m transgender, but also a lesbian, but now Jesus has healed her and taken “Joe” out of her soul, "

Why do all Republicans want to be called Joe even when that isn't their name? Joe the plumber, Joe Wilson, etc

Baconzgood July 24, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Are you talking about the 107 replies or the "CORRECTION"? I assume it was the correction. If someone was banned I hope it wasn't someone I wanna fuck.

chicken_thief July 24, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Thanks. I feel for Barb, but glad I missed the drama.

James Michael Curley July 24, 2012 at 1:48 pm

I didn't read the whole post so I'm not sure who got banned. I just hope it wasn't someone I lent money to at the Wonkette Drinky Think in Juarez.

Baconzgood July 24, 2012 at 2:10 pm

I just read the whole thread. Skimmed it at least. NEEDZ MOAR VOICE OF REASON!

viennawoods13 July 24, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Hands-down winner: sex ed class in The Meaning of Life.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: